I Know Not Why
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I Know Not Why: Chapter 7


E - Words: 5,685 - Last Updated: Jun 03, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Jun 03, 2012 - Updated: Jun 03, 2012
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Blaine didn’t want to go to Puck’s New Year’s Eve party.  From the way Kurt described it, there were going to be entirely too many people there – drinking and crowding around and unfamiliar to him.  But after Kurt’s eighth whiney ‘Blaaaaine, pleeeeease?’ he gave in.  He knew Kurt wouldn’t go without him and he didn’t want to ruin anyone’s night.  Kurt had promised to stay by his side the entire night and said they could leave if it sucked.

 

When they arrived, the party was going full force already.  They walked by some familiar voices that sounded several drinks in.  Blaine heard someone yell ‘Hey, Stevie Wonder!’ before grabbing his ass and bouncing off.  He was pretty sure that was Santana.  He really hoped that was Santana.

 

Five minutes in and Blaine had never been this uncomfortable socially.  He squeezed both hands that were attached to Kurt – the one holding his hand and the one gripping his upper arm. 

 

“We’re almost to the back.”

 

They reached a slightly quieter and less packed area of the house.  Puck came over and said they needed to catch up, thrusting two cups towards them.  Blaine brought it to his nose and it smelled sweet, fruity.

 

“Puck said it’s his special punch.  Not sure if you want to drink it or not.”

 

Blaine thought of his nerves and then shrugged.  “Why not…”

 

He took two big gulps before sputtering a bit.  Kurt patted him on the back and laughed.  “Easy tiger.”

 

“Holy hell, what is in that?”

 

“Who knows, probably a little of everything.”  Kurt bumped their cups together.  “Cheers.”

 

Blaine finished the rest of his cup.

 

They found an unoccupied corner of a couch and squeezed in close together.  Most of the songs weren’t really Blaine’s style, but they both sang along loudly to the ones they knew.  Sometime during their singing, someone had brought him another cup and Kurt told him it was okay so he drank from it.  He took this cup a little slower, sipping rather than gulping.  The music was much too loud for them to talk, so Blaine just tipped his head onto Kurt’s shoulder as he felt the alcohol start to affect him.

 

“I have to go to the bathroom.  Do you want to go or wait for me here?”

 

Blaine didn’t have to go and he felt a little odd just tagging along to the bathroom.  “I can stay here.”

 

“Ok, I’ll be right back.”

 

Kurt gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek and then Blaine just felt cold where their bodies had been pressed together.  He sipped some more on his drink and emptied the cup before he knew it.  Three songs later, Blaine was a little worried that Kurt wasn’t back yet.  His mind felt fuzzy and he tilted his head back against the couch.  Two more songs and Blaine had begun to work himself into a panic.  What if something happened to Kurt?  He said he’d be right back and it’s been too long.  The thoughts were swirling a mile a minute in his head.  He reached his arm out across the couch until he felt someone.

 

“Hey, do you see Kurt?”

 

“Who the hell is Kurt?”  The boy sounded angry and Blaine withdrew his hand.

 

Slowly, Blaine pushed himself to his feet and reached out to help maneuver.  He only made it a few steps before he ran into someone.

 

“What the hell, man?”

 

“Sorry, I’m looking for Kurt.”

 

Blaine felt unsteady on his feet.  Spinning, feeling, grasping, searching.  The music too loud and he couldn’t focus.  He’s pushed and pulled, too many people, too close, too much.

 

He only made it a few more feet before his hands brushed against flesh.

 

“Dude, not cool.”  He felt someone crowding in close before a hand was snaking between them, pushing the other boy off.

 

“He’s blind and gay, Scooter.  Trust me, he’s not trying to grope your girl.”

 

Blaine’s arm is grabbed and he’s maneuvered away from the crowd.

 

“What exactly are you doing other than literally stumbling blindly through a crowd?”

 

“Santana,” he breathed with relief.  “It’s Kurt.  He went to the bathroom and then didn’t come back and I was worried that something happened.”

 

“I see him, he’s making his way over, just chill out.”

 

Blaine had to look a mess.  He was scared and on the verge of tears, but thankfully he held them back.

 

“Blaine?  Oh god.  I went to the couch and you weren’t there.”

 

“Where were you?  You were gone for like six songs!”

 

“There’s only one bathroom down here and some guy puked all over the floor.  I had to go upstairs and there was a line.  I didn’t realize how long I was gone.”

 

Kurt’s hands rubbed up and down his arms and Blaine’s panic lowered with each touch.

 

“Just don’t leave me.  I didn’t… I thought that maybe Karofsky was here and something happened.”

 

“Blaine…  I’m so sorry.”  He was wrapped in Kurt’s arms then.  “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

“I need you.  Why do I need you so much?”  Blaine wanted to cry, mostly out of embarrassment, but also because of the helplessness he felt minutes earlier.

 

“Shh, I need you, too.  It’s okay.  You’re okay.”

 

“Seriously, this is getting way too deep and I think you two are about to turn all Finchel up in here and make me want to barf.  I’m going back to gettin’ my dance on with Britt.”

 

Santana’s comments had distracted him and the tears and embarrassment ebbed away.  Blaine smiled against Kurt’s shoulder.  He felt a little like an idiot for overreacting, but the alcohol was starting to kick in even more now.

 

“Are you giggling?”

 

Blaine tried to halt his movement and force his mouth into a straight line.  Kurt pulled away from him and for some reason that made Blaine practically cackle.

 

“Oh my word, letting you drink may have been a mistake.”

 

Blaine stopped giggling and his face became serious.  “Stay with me.”

 

Kurt continued rubbing Blaine’s arm, but didn’t reply.

 

Blaine dropped the serious look and started giggling again.  “Can we dance?”

 

He felt Kurt’s hands in his and let Kurt guide him.  He figured they would be okay as long as they didn’t dance next to the guy whose girlfriend he had just groped.  The magical cup fairy brought them more drinks and Blaine decided as he finished the last drop that he had reached his limit.  He felt boneless dancing with Kurt, but he felt amazing.  Neither of them were masters of the dance world, so they mostly just swayed to the beat.  The music cut off abruptly, pulling Blaine from his reverie and he started to yell at the person talking when Kurt put his hand over his mouth and laughed.

 

“It’s that time – count down with me!  10..  9..  8..”

 

Blaine and Kurt both shouted the numbers out.

 

“4..  3..  2..  1..  HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

 

….

 

Blaine looked like a kid on Christmas morning, his entire face full of pure delight as he yelled out the numbers.  When the countdown ended, Blaine’s lips were on Kurt’s before Puck even said ‘happy new year.’

 

He was shocked at first, but opened easily and wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck as the boy kissed him with such passion.  Kurt wasn’t sure how long they kissed, but he heard a faint ‘wanky’ from next to them.  When they pulled apart, they were both gasping for breath.

 

“I think—“

 

But then Blaine was kissing him again and Kurt forgot whatever he was going to say.

 

….

 

At some point, they ended up curled together on the couch.  Kurt heard Blaine groan next to him and he peeked one eye open to see the sun streaming through the curtains.  He stretched and started to get up when a hand grabbed him.

 

“Stop moving.  You’re rocking the couch.”

 

“I’m just going to go get some water.”

 

The hand released and Kurt made his way into the kitchen.  He opened several cabinets before he found some Tylenol and then filled two glasses of water.

 

When he got back to the couch, Blaine had snuggled further into the couch where Kurt had been laying.

 

“Blaine, sit up.”

 

“Head hurts.”

 

“I know.  I have Tylenol and water.  Sit up and drink it.”

 

Blaine pushed himself to a sitting position, head lolling like he had no control of his neck.

 

“Open.”

 

Blaine followed instructions and Kurt placed the pills in his mouth before bringing the glass to his lips to drink.  Kurt cradled the side of Blaine’s head in his hand, his thumb lightly tracing the scar over Blaine’s eyebrow.

 

Several others in the group began to stir and Brittany suggested they all go out for pancakes.  Most just groaned, but they had two cars full of people headed to Denny’s within 15 minutes.

 

….

 

After breakfast, Kurt and Blaine said their goodbyes and headed home.  It was still before noon, so Kurt figured his dad would be surprised to see him.

 

He kept chancing quick looks over to Blaine who just leaned his head against the cool window.  Kurt wondered if Blaine even remembered the night before.

 

Kurt nearly swerved the car when Blaine spoke up out of nowhere – his voice hoarse, but the words clear.

 

“I know what you’re thinking.”

 

“Hangovers make you psychic now?”  Kurt was going for light, but the words came out far too shaky.

 

“It wasn’t because of the alcohol.”

 

“What wasn’t?”  Kurt knew, but Blaine had to say it.  Kurt didn’t want to assume anything that might get his hopes up.

 

“The kiss.  I didn’t kiss you because I was drunk.”  Blaine’s head hadn’t moved from the window.

 

“Okay.”

 

The silence stretched for the last few miles home.  Kurt pulled into the driveway and put the car in park.

 

“Blaine, I—“

 

“I kissed you because I love you.  And for a few brief minutes, I imagined what I would do if something happened to you.  So I just wanted to be with you in the moment and just love you and kiss you.”

 

“So what does this mean?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I wish I knew what to say now.”

 

“You don’t have to say anything.”

 

Blaine smiled shyly and got out of the car.

 

Kurt got out and walked around to where Blaine stood, immediately drawing him into a hug.  He kissed his forehead and then they both turned to go home.

 

….

 

They slept most of New Year’s Day – too tired and hungover to do much else.  Kurt came over mid-morning the following day equipped with enough baked goods to feed an army.  Blaine knew Kurt baked when he was stressed, so the conversation between them was inevitable.  He didn’t think it would start from word one.

 

“So do we just pretend our midnight make-out session didn’t happen?”

 

Blaine froze mid-bite and then set the cookie down in front of him.  “Wow, okay, uhm, no?”

 

“Are you asking me?”

 

“No, I mean no let’s not pretend like it didn’t happen.”

 

“What does that mean for us now?”

 

“I don’t know and I know that’s not an answer.  I just don’t want to hurt you and lead you on or anything.”

 

“So, just friends?”

 

“You know you’ll always be more than just a friend to me.  You’ll be in my life until we’re both eighty and wrinkled and wheelchair-bound.”

 

“Beautiful picture you’ve painted there.”

 

Blaine could hear the smile in his voice.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“I was kidding, I’m sure we’ll be fabulous when we’re old.”

 

“No, I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.  I’ve never had this.”  He gestured between the two of them.  “I’m really bad at this.  I wish things were easier.”

 

“Me too.  Can we at least cuddle?  Friends cuddle.”

 

Blaine grinned and moved his cookie.  “I’m always down for cuddling.”

 

….

 

They didn’t talk about what happened between them on New Year’s Eve after that.  Neither boy pushed for more and they settled into an easy friendship.  There were many things left unsaid, but for the time being, that was okay.  As the weeks passed, any awkwardness subsided.  They flirted and teased and gossiped.  Being best friends was a welcomed comfort.

 

….

 

He was shaking.  Shaking and freaking out and he couldn’t feel his legs.  His father had left almost twenty minutes ago and he’d hidden himself away in the choir room instead of returning to class.  Kurt’s eyes shifted rapidly between his phone in one hand and the letter in the other.  He’d sent off a quick text to Blaine immediately after his father left saying ‘call me asap’ and then quickly sent another that said ‘don’t worry, nothing bad.’

 

The phone lit up and he answered it before it could even get a full ring out.

 

“Blaine!”

 

“Kurt, what’s going on?  I just got out of English and got your text.”

 

“I got my letter.”

 

“Your letter?”

 

“From NYADA.  I’m a finalist!”

 

Kurt heard a loud yell and then Blaine’s hushed apologies to people around him.  “I’m so happy for you.  What now?”

 

“I have to sing for them in May.  Live.  Oh my god, what am I going to sing?”

 

“You have time.  You’ll figure it out.  This is really amazing, Kurt.”

 

“Thanks.  Since my dad was obviously the first to know, I wanted to make sure you were the second.”

 

“I wish I could be there to help you celebrate.”

 

“You could come home next week for Valentine’s.  I’d ply you with chocolate treats and make you watch cheesy movies with me.”

 

“I can’t this time.  Skype Valentine’s chat?  We could still watch a movie and eat chocolate.”

 

“I wouldn’t miss it.  So have you heard from any of the schools you applied to yet?”

 

There was silence for a few moments before Blaine answered.

 

“I… yah.  I don’t think most of them will come for another couple months, but I heard from Juilliard.”

 

“What?  And?  What did you hear?”

 

“I got invited to their auditions in March.”

 

“WHAT?”  Kurt practically shrieked.  “When did you find out?”

 

“Like a week or two ago.  It’s no big deal.”

 

“Please tell me you are kidding me.  I can’t believe you’ve known for over a week and you didn’t tell me!  We’ve got so much planning to do!”

 

“Kurt, no, stop for a second.  It’s not a big deal because I don’t think I’m going to go.”

 

“Okay, now I know you’re either kidding or you’ve completely lost it.  How can you NOT go?”

 

“It’s just going to be so expensive to go to the audition, let alone if by some miracle I get in and have tuition and room and board and food to pay for.  It’s not really practical for me.”

 

“That’s not you talking and you know it.”

 

“Kurt…”

 

“Can’t you see what an amazing opportunity this is?  People would probably kill to be in your shoes.”

 

“Look, we can talk about it later.  I don’t want to argue on today of all days.  NYADA better watch out.”

 

“You know I’m not letting this conversation go that easily, but I do have glee and you’re stubborn.”

 

“I learned everything I know about being stubborn from one Mr. Kurt Hummel.”

 

Kurt scoffed.  “So many things I want to say about that.  I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“Of course.  Bye Kurt.”

 

This was far from over.  Kurt would make sure of it.

 

….

 

Every time he brought it up, Blaine deflected.  Kurt was starting to get exasperated.  He’d heard Blaine play, saw the way he felt the music in his soul.  This was one decision that Kurt wasn’t going to let Blaine regret.

 

….

 

The call woke him up entirely too early on a Sunday, but he recognized the ringtone for his mother and couldn’t ignore it.

 

“Hm’ello?”

 

“Blaine, honey, get up and get dressed.  I’ll be there in about thirty minutes and we’ll go to brunch.”

 

Blaine shot up in bed.  “Huh?  You’re here now? Today? Soon?”

 

“Surprise!”

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Yes, now get up sleepy head.”

 

He was up and out of bed in a flash, stumping his toe against the desk, and hobbling to his dresser.  Panic.  He felt panicked.  He washed his face and brushed his teeth, mind racing a mile a minute.

 

The knock at his door made him stop and take a breath.  Surely he’d been breathing this whole time, right?  He felt a little light-headed.

 

His mother’s arms were around him before he even got the door all the way open.  “Beautiful, beautiful boy.  I’ve missed you.”

 

“Mom, it’s been like a month.”

 

“Too long.  I should come visit more.  I don’t see you enough.”

 

She had unwrapped herself from him, now focused on smoothing his clothes and sweeping the hair out of his face.  “Mom, you know I love you, but why are you here?”

 

“Brunch!  I can’t remember the last time we had brunch.”

 

“You drove two hours to have brunch?”

 

“I would’ve told you sooner, but it was a last minute decision.  I just had to see you.”  She pulled him back in for another hug, this one less frantic. 

 

They went to their favorite spot – a little café that they used to frequent every Sunday when the family lived in Columbus.  Blaine always ordered chocolate chip pancakes and his mother always ordered the cheese omelet.  It was their thing.

 

They didn’t talk about anything of real importance.  Instead, they just reveled in the moment, the memories, and the good company.

 

….

 

It had been years since they’d last gone to the pond around the corner from their old house.  She used to take Blaine there to feed the ducks.  It was almost as if the ducks knew he couldn’t see them, or wouldn’t hurt them at least, because they flocked to him.  Some days he would be completely surrounded, head thrown back laughing as the ducks crowded him to get a piece of bread. 

 

There were no ducks today – still not quite warm enough to bring them back north.  They still sat quietly on the bench just listening to the calm surroundings.  As Christina looked at Blaine now, a sweet smile on his face, she saw that laughing little boy in a moment of pure happiness and it warmed her heart.

 

“I know about Juilliard.”

 

His smile dropped.  “You do?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“I… I don’t know.  Did Kurt tell you?”

 

“Not exactly.  Your Aunt Marcie told me you put your school address on only that application.  I checked the website to see when letters would go out and found a messageboard where several people said they got letters a couple weeks ago.  I may have led Kurt to believe that I already knew one way or the other about Juilliard.  You should’ve seen how his face lit up when he thought you’d told me.  That just confirmed it for me.”

 

“I should’ve told you.  I just know it’s not worth the trip since I won’t end up going there.”

 

“Blaine.  If you want this, I will take you.”

 

“I have to be sensible, mom.  It would really just be easier if I stayed close to home.”

 

“Easier… maybe.  But it’s not about easy.  It’s about what you want.”

 

“I’m not sure I’m really cut out for New York.  It’s too busy and crowded and it would probably be hard on Roxy too.”

 

“Honey, stop.  You can come up with a hundred excuses to talk yourself out of it.  I just need to know if going to Juilliard is something you want.”

 

“I want…  yes, I want it.  But it’s too expensive and I know dad thinks OSU would be a better fit.”

 

Christina grabbed his hand and scooted closer.  “We can afford it, Blaine.  Money is not the issue.  And this isn’t about what your father wants or thinks.  This is about you.”

 

“But I don’t want to disappoint him.”

 

“You don’t.”

 

“I feel like I do.”  A single tear rolled down his cheek and she lifted her hand to wipe it away.  “First I lose my sight in the accident and then I told him I was gay.  I know he wishes he could just have a normal son.”

 

“Those aren’t things you can change.  He loves you, Blaine.  He just doesn’t know how to show it.  He thinks by keeping you close that will protect you.  He can’t bear to see you hurt any more.”

 

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut as more tears came.

 

Christina blinked back the tears that formed in her own eyes.  “You are so special, Blaine.  Don’t you realize that?  And as much as I want to protect you also, you’re not my little boy anymore.  There’s a whole world out there to experience.  Are you going to get hurt?  Yes, but everyone gets hurt.  You’re also going to be an extraordinary musician or teacher or whatever you want to be.  You can do this if you really want it.”

 

He looked so small as the tears continued.  “What if I don’t get in?”

 

“What if you do?”

 

“It will be so hard, mom.”

 

“But it will be so worth it.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

His mouth quirked up at the side.  “Okay, I want to audition.”

 

Christina jumped up, pulling Blaine with her and into a hug.  “You can do this.”

 

“Can we just not tell Dad yet?  Not until after I know if I’m accepted or not?”

 

She pulled back and studied the trepidation on Blaine’s face.  “Sure, honey.  Whatever you want.”

 

She hooked her arm in his as they walked back to the car.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

 

“None of it matters anymore – we’ve got to prepare for your audition.  Let’s track down your music instructor.”

 

….

 

That night, Kurt saw his phone light up on his bedside table.

 

Blaine

Thank you

 

Kurt

So, you’re not mad?

 

Blaine

Of course not.  I know my mother and her tricky little ways.

 

Blaine

I’m going to the audition

 

Kurt

Eeeeeeeeeee!

 

Kurt

You are going to dazzle them

 

Blaine

I hope so

 

Kurt

I know so

 

….

 

He’d practiced for weeks.  Juilliard had very specific guidelines on what he could include in his audition piece and he was determined to be well prepared.

 

His entire life had been taken over by Mendelssohn, Debussy, and Stravinsky.  Etudes, sonatas, and fugues filled his dreams.  As long as he was playing, he felt completely confident.  The second the last note faded, he shook like a leaf.

 

He had to try.  He could do this.

 

….

 

The story his father got was that they were spending the weekend at Aunt Marcie’s helping her clean out her garage and have a garage sale.  It wasn’t really surprising that his father never questioned it.

 

Blaine’s audition was Monday afternoon, so the plan was for his mother to tell his father that she’d decided to stay a couple extra days to help clean up and haul away the leftover junk.  The truth was they would soon be on a plane to New York, a hotel booked for just one night, a practice room reserved for the entire morning, and a return flight ticket in hand that got them in late Monday night.  They would spend just over 24 hours in New York City.

 

….

 

“Hey, uh, Kurt!”

 

It was already too early on a Sunday to be up and out, and he really didn’t feel like talking to anyone on top of that.  But he wouldn’t be rude, especially since this was the first time the man had addressed him.

 

“Morning Mr. Anderson.”

 

“Do you have a moment?  I was just about to come over and see if anyone was home.  I see your father’s truck is gone.”

 

“He goes in early on Sundays to do the bookkeeping.”

 

“Look, my car won’t start.  I think it’s the alternator, but I don’t have time to check it out, especially in this suit.”

 

Kurt stared at him unsure what else to say.

 

“I was wondering if you could give me a ride?  I’m late for a breakfast with some new investors and I don’t have time to wait for a cab.”

 

“Uh, I… yah, okay.”  Kurt didn’t have a good enough reason to say no.  ‘You’re kind of a dick to your son who is someone I really care about’ didn’t seem like it would win him any points with anyone.  He’d also never seen Mr. Anderson so frazzled.  The man was usually the model of composure.

 

They got in the car and Kurt was given directions where to go.  Kurt thought he’d had some awkward car rides before, mostly with this man’s son, but this was almost painful.

 

“I appreciate your assistance, Kurt.  My wife is out of town and this is something I can’t miss.”

 

“It’s fine, really.”

 

Kurt must’ve sounded annoyed because the man next to him took a deep breath and turned slightly towards the driver’s side.

 

“I can imagine what you must think of me.  I know you care about my son and sometimes I say things that can come off rather harsh.”

 

“Harsh and unhelpful.”  If Kurt wasn’t gripping the steering wheel so hard, he would’ve clamped a hand over his mouth in surprise.

 

“You sound like my wife.”

 

“She’s a smart woman.”

 

“That she is.  But she’s a dreamer, just like Blaine.  I have to make sure they keep their heads out of the clouds.”

 

Kurt really didn’t want to be disrespectful, but he wasn’t sure how much further into this conversation he could get without lashing out.

 

“Mr. Anderson, don’t you want Blaine to be happy?”

 

“Of course I do.  There’s no question.”

 

“Then you should encourage him to keep dreaming – to dream bigger.  And if one dream doesn’t come to pass, he’ll find another.”

 

“I’m assuming we’re talking about him going to college.”

 

“That is one dream, yes.”

 

“He can’t do everything other kids his age can do.  He has to be more careful.  He has to be looked after.”

 

“No.  He really doesn’t.  He’s going to show you one day soon.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

Kurt closed his eyes as he came to a stop in front of the country club.  “You may think whatever meeting you have this morning is important.  But you’re missing out on one of the most important times in your son’s life.”

 

“I hardly think a family garage sale is that important.”

 

Kurt shrugged, a slightly guilty look on his face.  “Maybe you’re missing more than a garage sale.”

 

Mr. Anderson furrowed his brow as he reached for the door.  “I have to go, Kurt.  Thank you for the ride.”

 

Kurt nodded his head minutely and pulled away as soon as the door closed, his plans for the day forgotten.

 

….

 

Blaine had left Roxy in Aunt Marcie’s care, thinking it would be easier to use his cane and his mother for guidance.  When he stumbled just outside of their hotel, he wondered if leaving Roxy behind was the best idea.

 

He was a ball of nerves.  His mother whispered encouraging words to him, but neither slept much that night.  Somehow, his music teacher was able to pull some strings and get him a rehearsal room with a piano just down the hall from where the auditions were being held.

 

He made mistakes in the first nine run-throughs of his performance.  When he finally got it perfect on the tenth try, he almost broke down and cried with all of the stress.  Through it all, his mother sat quietly to the side offering reassurance and words of love.

 

An hour before his scheduled time, he left the rehearsal room to let his fingers have a short reprieve.  He still practiced though – running the songs through his mind over and over, imagining the pressure on the keys beneath his touch.

 

When they called him in, his mother kissed his temple lightly.  He thought he might hyperventilate as he allowed the young woman to lead him carefully to the stage.  Every whisper, shuffle of feet, and creaking chair was like a foghorn in his ears.  As he situated himself on the bench and positioned his hands to start, he was finally able to take a deep breath.

 

“Mr. Anderson, whenever you’re ready.”

 

It was perfectly, blissfully silent.  And he began to play.

 

….

 

He’d called Sunday night and Christina ignored it.  It was late enough in the evening that she could claim exhaustion and going to bed early.  She sent a quick text the following morning to acknowledge his call and lie minimally to cover.

 

But she knew after the 3rd phone call, she would have to speak with him sooner than later.  He answered before the first ring ended.

 

“Christina, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, James.  I’m sorry I missed your calls.”

 

“You’re not at your sister’s are you?”

 

“No.  I need you to take a deep breath and just listen.”

 

“Christina—“

 

“Please, James. For Blaine.”

 

….

 

Blaine was a bundle of energy the second he left the auditorium.  It warmed her heart to see him so happy and she smiled along with him as he rambled all the way to the airport.

 

He passed out before the plane had even left the ground and was still far from rested when they reached their destination a short time later.  His body sagged against hers as they walked, both completely drained.

 

They walked out to the passenger pick-up area and Christina stopped abruptly.

 

….

 

The jolt woke him from his emotionally exhausted daze.

 

“Mom?”

 

“Blaine, your—“

 

“Hi, son.”

 

“Dad?  What are you doing here?  I…  how did you know we would be here?”

 

“I talked to your mother earlier.  I know about your trip.”

 

Blaine fidgeted with the strap across his shoulder, unsure what to say and feeling suddenly guilty.

 

“It’s okay though.  I’m glad she told me.  You played remarkably.”

 

“You… you heard?”

 

“Only a little.  I can’t remember the last time I heard you play.  I forgot how talented you are.”

 

“Are you mad?”

 

“No.  You know I want the best for you, right?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Well, sometimes I don’t always know what that is.”

 

Blaine felt like crying, but he hadn’t done so in front of his father since he was a child.

 

“You didn’t have to come.  This must’ve been a long drive for you.”

 

His father pulled him into a hug then and whispered in his ear.  “Yes, I did, Blaine.  I needed to be here.  And I should’ve been there for you.”

 

“But you didn’t even know about the audition.”

 

“Not just the audition.  I should’ve been there for you all along.”

 

Blaine had never heard his father’s voice hitch like that.  He tightened his arms around his father and in that moment, he had never felt more loved.

 

….

 

He remembers the ride from the airport to his school being silent, but comfortable.  Both his mother and father hugged him tightly as they said goodbye.  Back in his room, he finally let himself breakdown, hiding his face under the covers.  He was happy and scared and hopeful and anxious.  If his roommate heard him cry, he didn’t say anything.  He faintly recalls Roxy nuzzling his head gently before he fell into the comfort of sleep.

 

When he woke the next morning, eyes still puffy and body still tired, he turned his phone back on.  It had been off for 24 hours – one less distraction.

 

He had a voicemail from his Aunt Marcie wishing him luck, two texts from friends with well wishes, and sixteen texts from Kurt ranging from “they’re going to love you” to “I’ve never been so nervous for an audition and it’s not even mine!”

 

Blaine chose to reply to the last one: How did it feel to be in New York?

 

Blaine

New York felt amazing. Bustling and loud and warm.  I want to be there in the fall.

 

He pulled himself out of bed reluctantly and got ready for class.  It was going to be a long day, but he could come back and sleep after classes. 

 

Kurt

You will be.  We’ll be there together.

 

Blaine let himself imagine it.

 

….

 


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This was probably the most. beautiful chapter yet!! From how lost and scared Blaine was at the party to his dad finally realizing!! such a great chapter!! You are amazing!!!