"This life of ours, this is a wonderful life. If you can get through life like this and get away with it, hey, that's great. But it’s very, very unpredictable. There's so many ways you can screw it up." - Paul Castellano

Kurt takes everything in stride.  Finally, he knows exactly what to do to keep Blaine happy.  And that’s all he has to do.  There’s no more shame, no pride keeping him from being what Blaine wants.  In his own way, Blaine cares.  Kurt is sure of it.

He doesn’t keep track of the days anymore.  Every second or third day, he’ll go see his father.  The visits are shorter and shorter each time.  It’s hard to see the body lying in that bed as the man who raised him.  He’s too skinny, too pale.  When Kurt leaves every day, he says goodbye as if it’s the last time.  One of these days, it will be and it will be for the best.

With Thanksgiving upon them, Kurt is thankful that he’ll have someone to take care of him when his father is really gone.  Kurt doesn’t have anyone else.  Blaine says he doesn’t need anyone else and Blaine is always right.

Blaine wants to either forgot the holiday completely or order food from a local restaurant.  Kurt begs and bargains until Blaine finally gives in and agrees to let him cook.  It’s an all day affair – basting and baking and mixing and making.  They finally settle into the formal dining room mid-afternoon, turkey and all the trimmings covering the table.  Cooper is there of course, with one of his bodyguards - even Wes was able to make it.  Kurt wonders where Thad is, but he doesn’t ask.  If Blaine wanted him here, he’d be here.

“Who knew you bought a veritable Betty Crocker, Blainey?”  Cooper smacks his brother on the shoulder playfully.

“Fucking call me that again and you’ll be eating at the diner down the street.”

Cooper still makes Kurt nervous, but they just seem to stay out of each other’s way now.  Blaine doesn’t want unneeded drama.  Kurt wants what Blaine wants, so he shrugs the comment off.  There’s no need for his snarky response. 

Kurt’s content to sit in his seat, watching everyone around the table, just taking it all in.

“You’re quiet today.”

He looks to Blaine and smiles.  “Just thinking.”

“You thinking about pulling the plug on ol’ pops?”

Kurt pales and turns to Cooper.  “What?”

“Ignore him.  Coop, shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, just making some light dinner conversation.”  Cooper winks at Kurt, shoving a giant piece of turkey in his mouth.

Somehow Cooper always knows just the right buttons to push.  Kurt gives a shaky smile to Blaine and tries to shrug it off. 

The guys talk about football and Kurt has absolutely nothing to add to the conversation, but he’s oddly pleased to see them all so animated about something other than business.  Wes actually laughs at some comment Blaine makes about one of the teams that played earlier.  Kurt tries to remember if he’s ever seen Wes laugh before.

They eat and they eat and they eat some more.  Kurt didn’t think it was possible for such a small group to eat so much.  As he stands to start clearing the plates, he hears his phone ring from the bedroom.  He looks to Blaine whose gaze is already on him.

“Ignore it.”

Kurt nods.  “I’m sure it’s a wrong number anyway.”

He clears the table with Wes and Blaine’s help and then rolls up his sleeves to start the dishes.

When he hears his phone ring again, he rolls his eyes and heads to the bedroom.

“What are you doing?”

Blaine is reclined on the couch, confused look on his face.

Kurt keeps walking, shaking his head as if annoyed.  “I’m just going to turn it off.  It’s probably the same idiot that called the other day twice asking for Antoine.”

It’s not.

***

The words have to settle in his brain before he can even think of standing from where he immediately plopped onto the bed.

He clutches the phone in a death grip.  It’s not that he didn’t understand what she said; it just doesn’t make any sense.

Blaine yells for him from the other room and that shakes him out of his thoughts.

When he rejoins the group, he looks around at each of the men sitting spread out in the room as if they hold some answer.

“I need to go to the hospital.”

“What?  Why?”  Blaine’s face conveys both concern and suspicion.

“I think…  My dad’s waking up.”

Wes and Cooper both immediately look to Blaine whose face has lost any trace of concern.

“No.”  Kurt just stares at him.  “Not today.”

“Didn’t you hear me?  My dad—“

“I fucking heard you.  I’m not deaf.  You spent a lot of time on today and I want us to enjoy the rest of it.  We haven’t had dessert yet and there’s a huge mess in the kitchen.”

Cooper chuckles and Wes looks away.

Blaine holds out his hand and Kurt walks automatically to him.  He reaches to take the hand, but Blaine grabs for Kurt’s phone instead.

“I’ll tell the hospital we’ll be there tomorrow.”

Kurt nods and walks to the kitchen.  He turns the water back on in the sink and starts scrubbing the first pan.  The water is steaming hot, but he doesn’t really feel it.  His thoughts distract him and he gets everything clean on autopilot. 

How could his father be waking up?  It’s been over two months.

When Kurt’s done cleaning, his hands are bright red and shaking.  He clasps them together and can feel a twinge of pain there.  Blaine calls his name again and he goes.  He pulls his shirtsleeves down slightly over his hands and sits down on the couch next to Blaine.  An arm pulls him close and he cuddles in without hesitation.

When their guests have left and Cooper has retired to his own room, Kurt blinks blearily at Blaine and lets himself be led to bed.  He’s so tired – a combination of cooking all day and not being able to shut off his thoughts.  After practically sleepwalking through his skincare routine and brushing his teeth, he crawls into bed.  His head hasn’t even hit the pillow when Blaine flips and pins him on his stomach.

“Blaine?”

The bite to his neck is a surprise.  Blaine hard and rolling his hips down is not.

Kurt can feel the anger in Blaine’s touch, but he’s not sure what he did wrong.

Blaine wraps one arm around his chest, the other roughly pushing his underwear down.  He has to shift off Kurt to get them far enough down to where he wants them.

The arm around Kurt’s chest doesn’t leave, even as Blaine fumbles one handedly with the lube. 

Kurt will stay just how Blaine wants him.  Doesn’t he know that?

A leg hooks over Kurt’s, spreading him as much as the underwear still around his knees will allow.  And then there are two fingers pushing into him roughly.  He gasps and tries to make eye contact with Blaine.  The room is dimly lit, but Kurt can still see the dark, angry look on Blaine’s face.  He wants to tell him that they don’t have to rush, Kurt will do whatever he wants, but he stays quiet and just tries to relax.

A third finger joins the two steadily pumping into his hole and Kurt tries to spread himself wider.  The three fingers are removed quicker than Kurt is expecting and then Blaine’s weight is back on him.  Blaine’s arm has slipped up to Kurt’s collar, hand wrapping around the side of his neck.  There’s one quick thrust and Blaine is fully sheathed in him.  Kurt lets out a noise somewhere between surprise and pain. 

Blaine starts moving, seeming to put as much force into each thrust that he can.  His arm wraps more tightly around Kurt’s throat, almost using it as leverage to pull himself forward harder and deeper.

Kurt wiggles a hand out from where it’s trapped beneath him and grabs at Blaine’s arm.  It squeezes more causing Kurt to panic.

“Blaine!”  He’s already panting from the heavy weight on him and the force of Blaine’s thrusts.

“Tell me you want me.” 

“You know I do.”

“Say it!”  He sounds almost animalistic.

“I want you!  Want you so bad.”

Blaine’s arm uncurls, his hand moving to grip the sensitive skin at the front of Kurt’s throat.  He doesn’t squeeze, but the pressure is firm.

“Say you’re mine.”

“Yours.”

It comes out as a whisper and Kurt’s not sure if Blaine can hear it.  The hand on his throat is pulling him back, causing him to arch his back in order to take even the slightest breath.  But then Blaine’s leaning forward, panting in his ear, and he’s trapped between the two opposite pressures.

“Such a slut for me.  You take it so well.”

“Blaine… please.  All yours.”

Blaine slams in one final time, pulling Kurt back against him as he arches with his orgasm.  He pulls his arm back, letting Kurt fall forward to the pillow, breathing hard to catch his breath.  Blaine settles his palm at the nape of Kurt’s neck, holding him down and propping himself up.  He thrusts a few more times and Kurt can feel the slippery mess as Blaine pushes his come in and out.

He finally slumps over, removing the heavy weight, and Kurt focuses on taking deep breaths.  When he turns his head to Blaine’s side of the bed, it’s not anger he sees in Blaine’s eyes.  It’s desperation.

He pulls his underwear up over the mess and his still soft cock and crawls into Blaine’s arms.

“I’m sorry.”  It’s a blanket apology since he’s not sure what he’s done.  But it was the right thing to say because Blaine holds him closer and kisses the top of his head.

He’ll be better tomorrow.

***

He’s not sure if he actually slept or not.  His mind couldn’t shut off and his throat was sore. 

He gets up with the sun, showers, and gets ready like usual.  In a little while, he’ll go see his dad.  But for now, he sits in the living room and stares out the window, waiting for Blaine to rouse.

It doesn’t take long.

Blaine is normally the first one up.  He explained to Kurt once that he never slept for long – felt like it was time wasted in his day.

So when he comes into the room looking tired and rumpled, Kurt looks up in anticipation.  Blaine wipes the sleep from his eyes and watches Kurt at the window.

“Why are you up so early?”

The question catches him off guard.  “My dad.  You said we would go see him today.”

“I didn’t mean at the butt crack of dawn.”

“I can just have Thad take me if you have work stuff.”

Blaine ignores him, walking into the kitchen.  When he returns with a glass of juice, he looks much more awake.

“No, I’ll take you.”

Kurt stares.  Waits.

“Fine, let me go take a shower and then we can go.”

Alone in the room again, Kurt gets lost in his thoughts.

***

The drive over is quiet and as the hospital comes into view, Kurt finally starts to get nervous.

He didn’t ask a lot of questions of the nurse yesterday – just assumed they would rush over and get the info then.  What if his dad wasn’t really his dad? 

With each step, his heart beats a little faster, his hand fidgets in Blaine’s, and he lets himself hope for the best.

“I’ll wait out here.  Give you some time.”

Kurt gives Blaine a confused look.  “What?”

“I can talk to the doctors.  You just go in there and see him.”

He nods his head and reaches for the door.  When the bed comes into view, he sees the same sight he’s seen for months now – his father, pale and sleeping.  It takes a few moments for him to notice the differences.  His father is sitting more upright, there’s a tray of juice next to his bed, and the cannula is no longer on his father’s face.

Kurt walks quietly and sits next to the bed.  He takes his father’s hand and gives it a light squeeze.

“Dad?”

Burt’s eyes slowly flutter open and try to focus.

“Kurt…”

And that’s all it takes for Kurt to completely break down.  The tears flow, he lets out little hiccupped sobs, and he holds onto his father desperately.

“It’s okay…  I’m okay…”

Kurt nods and stares at his dad’s face through bleary eyes.  His dad still looks so tired and his words are coming slower.

“I shouldn’t have woken you up.  You probably need your rest.”

He’s surprised when his dad tries to laugh, coming out more like a cough.

“I think I’m all rested up.”

They sit there for a long time in silence, just staring at each other.  Despite his earlier joke, Kurt watches as Burt slowly drifts back to sleep.  He continues to watch, holds his dad’s hand so gently, and tries to convince himself this isn’t a dream.

Gail comes in to check on things and beams down at Kurt.

“I told you.  It just took a little time.”

Kurt tries to smile, but he’s sure it comes off more awkward than anything.  The tears start to fall again, so Gail just continues to talk.

“He’ll be tired a lot at first.  We’re going to have to slowly reintroduce him to solid foods, get his body moving again.  Doctor says he’ll make a full recovery.”

“How much longer will he be here?”

“We’ll continue to monitor him.  It all depends on the progress he makes on the goals we set for him.  You’ll be the first to know.”

“Good.  I’ll be here every day from now on.”  He looks up at her guiltily.

“That will help a lot.  Your name was the first word out of his mouth when he fully woke up last night.”

This makes Kurt cry harder.  He’d almost completely given up on his father waking up and wasn’t here when he finally did.

Gail seems to understand and rubs his shoulder.  “Being here for him now is just what he needs.”

When she leaves, Kurt can see Blaine pacing in the hallway.  He stands and kisses his father’s forehead.

“I promise you, I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He writes a short note expressing the same and then walks out the door.  Blaine looks at him anxiously and holds out his hand.  Kurt readily takes it and they make their way back to the car.

On the drive home, Blaine tells him everything that the doctor had to share.  His dad’s oxygen levels are good, he has slow reaction times, but that’s expected.  They’re going to get him into physical therapy; the feeding tube is going to be removed.  All positive things.

Kurt is so happy.

Blaine’s mood seems to swing on a pendulum.  One minute he’s angry about the smallest thing and then he’s laughing and kissing Kurt silly.  It’s a lot for Kurt to handle in addition to all that’s going on with his dad.

He takes it one step at a time – sometimes one minute at a time.

It’s all he can do.

***

When he visits his dad the next day, Burt is sitting up and smiling as Gail checks him over.  The smile only widens when he see’s Kurt.

“Hey kiddo.”

The simple words tug at his heartstrings.  His dad sounds so much clearer, stronger.   Kurt can’t help but throw his arms around him in a huge hug.  Burt groans and Kurt immediately jumps back apologizing.

“It’s fine.  Just sore.  That damn therapy lady came by this morning and gave me all sorts of pushing and pulling and lifting tests.  Something about a treatment plan.  Whatever it is I gotta do to get home, I’ll do it.”

“Well don’t overdo it.  I don’t know if anyone told you, but your heart stopped and you were in a coma for more than two months.”

Kurt gives him a pointed look and they stare for a few moments before one starts laughing and the other joins in.

“Good thing I have you here to tell me all about what I missed.”

Kurt does just that – answering everything his dad asks starting with football and the shop.  Answers start to come a little less easily when the topic of school comes up.  Talking about him withdrawing to get a tuition refund leads them to how Burt ended up at such a nice hospital - which all eventually leads to Blaine.

He didn’t really think ahead of time what he would tell his dad, so it comes out jumbled, awkward.  After all, the story of how they got to this point has to be changed, filled with half-truths and outright lies.

Blaine is his boyfriend.  Yes, they were dating before his dad’s heart attack.  No, he wasn’t embarrassed to tell his father, but the relationship wasn’t to that point yet.  Blaine works in finance and he’s been helping Kurt out including paying Burt’s hospital bills.

Kurt’s sweating like this is an interrogation.  He’s so afraid of contradicting one lie with another.

“So, this Blaine kid.  He’s a stand-up guy?”

Blaine has kept his word this whole time – he’s taken care of Burt since Kurt has come to stay with him.  Kurt rationalizes that that makes him a pretty stand-up guy.  It’s not like he can say otherwise.

“Yes, dad.  Can you stop the twenty questions about him now?”

“Hey, I just want to know a little bit about the guy that my son is dating.  If he cares about you enough to support you and pay for my hospital bills, things have gotta be pretty serious with him.”

Kurt hates lying to his father.  He dreads when this situation is over and he may have to tell his father more.

A thought pops into his head and then eludes him just as quickly.  It’s right there – just out of reach and he can’t remember what it was.

He’s starting to get a headache and he rubs a hand across his brow.

“Look, Kurt, I didn’t mean to push.”

His head pops up.  “No, I’m just tired.”

“Go home.  Or back to Blaine’s.  Or wherever you need to go.  I’ll still be here tomorrow.”

He gives his dad a smile of gratitude and a hug goodbye.

At Kurt’s request, Thad drives him to his house in the suburbs.  During the drive there, Kurt just feels more and more confused.  He’d resigned himself to one fate and now things were going to be completely different.  For the first time in weeks, he thought about his stay with Blaine coming to an end.

Kurt doesn’t have a house key on him – can’t even remember what he’s done with it.  Thankfully, the Johnsons next door have been keeping an eye on the place since his father went into the hospital.  They greet him with a smile and are taken aback by the good news.  When they let him into the house, he immediately feels at ease.

This is his home.

He can’t believe how long he’s been away from it.  He can’t believe he ever left.

There’s a reason he came here now though and he sets about getting what he needs.  His father had practically begged for his hat and some clothes.

‘If they want me up and walking, I’m not about to have my ass hangin’ out.’

Kurt grabs his dad’s favorite baseball cap and several changes of comfortable clothes.  He starts to let himself get lost in thoughts again, but sees Thad outside leaning against the car. 

Now is not the time. 

He makes his way downstairs with the bag of stuff.  Driving away, he looks out the back window until he can’t see the house anymore.

Soon.

***

It’s a longer drive back than it should be thanks to an accident that brings them to a standstill. 

The delay is okay with Kurt – he’s in no rush to get back to their apartment. 

No.

Blaine’s apartment.

Oh god, this is almost over.

It’s like the final piece of a puzzle finally snaps into place.  He doesn’t have to stay with Blaine.  They’re not really a couple and Kurt only has to pretend for a little while longer.

His mind feels clearer now than it has in weeks.  The things he’s said and done with Blaine – it makes him sad and sick and angry.  He has to lie across the seat to deal with the barrage of emotion flowing through him.

He mumbles an ‘I’m fine’ and is thankful, for once, that Thad won’t speak to him.

A little laugh escapes him and Kurt’s pretty sure he’s going to need counseling or medication or something when all of this is done.  He’s rationalized and been in denial and done everything he possibly could to endure not only the physical pain, but the psychological and emotional as well.  His mind is warped and confused, but it’s still his.  He’s still here.

He thought he stopped fighting, but apparently his mind just went into survival mode.  Kurt Hummel has become a psychiatrist’s wet dream, ready to be analyzed and fixed.

It’s impossible to hold in when another laugh bubbles to the surface.  He’s not sure if it’s out of happiness or craziness or just plain relief.

The car finally enters the parking garage and Kurt pulls himself together.  Thad gives him a questioning look in the rearview mirror and Kurt just smiles as he gets out.

When he finally makes his way into the apartment, he’s caught off guard to see Blaine standing in the kitchen looking frazzled.

“Where have you been?”

“I--  There were a few things I had to get from my house after I left the hospital.  And then the freeway was down to one lane so we had to take a different route.”

“Where’s your phone?  I called and text you.”

“You took it the other day – after I got the call from the hospital.  You never gave it back.”

Blaine’s eyes narrow like he’s trying to remember that detail.

“But I’m sure Thad let you know.”

“I don’t—“  He let out a frustrated sigh.  “I told you I expected you home by dinner every night.”

It’s only then that Kurt looks behind Blaine and sees the food on the counter, plates set at the table, and flowers filling a vase.  Blaine had planned dinner for them.

“I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help it – I didn’t know.”

“Yah, well, fuck it.  I’ve got stuff to do.”

“Wait, please.  We can reheat stuff.  I’m starving.”

“Then eat.  I have to go.”

Blaine pushes past Kurt, brushing his shoulder and slamming the door.

It’s hard, but Kurt suppresses the relief and the happiness to go home.  His father wasn’t home yet and Kurt still needed to hold up his end of the bargain.

Two days.

His father had only been awake for two days and Kurt had already managed to screw things up and risk his treatment again.

He had to find a way to fix it.

Not tonight though.  Blaine needed to cool off first and then Kurt could make things better.

He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head.  It wasn’t even dark yet, but Kurt could barely keep his eyes open.

***

It’s not a surprise, but Blaine doesn’t come home that night.  A second night passes and he still doesn’t come home.

Kurt busies himself during the day with his father, careful to always be home late afternoon.  Still nothing.

On the fourth night, Kurt falls asleep on the couch waiting, unsure what else to do.  It’s pitch black in the apartment when the front door wakes him.  He rubs at his eyes trying to see in the dark.

“Blaine?”

All of the lights flick on and Kurt has to cover his eyes for a moment.   When they’ve finally adjusted, he sees Cooper sitting across from him.  His normal taunting smile isn’t plastered on his face.  He looks tired.

“Cooper?”

Something changes on his face and he sits forward in the chair.  “I don’t care about you.  I don’t care what happens to you.”

Kurt blinks dumbly at him, not sure how to respond.

“I care about my family and you’re fucking with that.  So I don’t care what you need to do – but you’re going to remedy this shit storm you started.”

“He won’t come home.  I—“

“Stop talking.”

Kurt plants his feet more firmly on the ground, his fight or flight instinct tingling, and he is definitely in flight mode.

“Blaine’s spending all of his time at the office avoiding you for whatever reason.  I don’t want details.  I don’t care what happened.  He doesn’t have his shit together at work and I need him to be on point.  Whatever you did – you’re going to undo it.”

“I didn’t do—“

“I told you to stop fucking talking!”

Cooper was up, but Kurt was up too – not nearly fast enough.  He held Kurt against the couch with one hand gripping his hair and the other pushing on his chest.

“Don’t ever run from me.”

“I was--  Ah!”  Cooper pulled hard on Kurt’s hair, forcing his gaze up.

“If you don’t fix this, something bad is going to happen.” 

He let go of Kurt’s hair, still holding him with his other hand and an intense look. 

“You’re already broken just like Blaine wants.  He wouldn’t be happy if I did what I’d like to do to you.  So if I can’t make you bleed, I’ll make you hurt in other ways.”

Cooper’s eyes brightened and he grinned.

Kurt just stared in shock.

“Make him come home.  I’ll do anything, I swear.” 

“I can’t make him do anything.  Figure it out.”

Cooper pulled back and walked down the hall, calling back over his shoulder.  “And it better be quick.”

***

There was no more sleep to be had that night.  A thousand thoughts raced through his head – none of them a solution to the problem.

Morning finally comes and he gets ready to go visit his father like usual.  He’d made a promise to himself that his father would take top priority every day going forward.  Without that, he wouldn’t let his father see him like this.  No matter how much he tried to cover, he was sure it was written plainly across his face the second he walked in the room.

“Hey—what’s wrong?”

He shrugs one shoulder and takes his seat.

“Seriously, kiddo.  Are you okay?”

“I’m just really tired, dad.  Couldn’t sleep.”

“You having problems with that boyfriend?  I need to give him a talk?”

Kurt chuckled at the thought.  His father had no idea what he would be walking into.

“I’m twenty-two years old, dad.  Fairly certain I don’t need you giving anyone I’m in a relationship with ‘a talk.’”

“Just sayin’.  Why haven’t you brought him up here so I could meet him?”

“He’s busy.”

“He’s got enough time to write some hefty checks for this place which I know ain’t cheap.  His boyfriend’s father just woke up from a coma.  Nobody’s that busy.”

“Dad, come on.”

“No, you come on, Kurt.  Promise me you’ll bring him up here.”

“I’ll see if he can get off.”

“They have extended visiting hours – don’t pull that crap with me.”

“Okay!  Fine!”

This was a battle he wasn’t going to win.

Kurt stays for his dad’s physical therapy appointment and is impressed with the progress he’s made in just a few days.  They have lunch together and Kurt harps on his dad until he eats all of his vegetable soup.  Burt hasn’t stopped complaining about the taste, but Kurt feels proud when he finishes it.

His dad shoos him out early afternoon under the guise of getting some rest.  All Kurt can think is he can’t go home to that empty apartment.

He’s almost in tears and the car has barely left the hospital parking lot.  It feels like he’s fallen down a cliff and somehow managed to find a ledge to stand on, but now the ledge is slowly breaking away bit by bit. 

“Can you take me to where Blaine works?”

Thad eyes him in the rearview mirror for several seconds and then looks away.

Kurt slumps in his seat and mentally prepares himself for the silence that awaits him at the apartment.  When they stop at an unfamiliar building, he’s confused and then grateful.  Thad opens the car door for him and leads him into the building.  There are people milling about – business-like people and definitely some not-so-business-like people.  He follows Thad closely, not wanting to get lost in the office maze.

They stop in front of a man that looks like he could kill Kurt in a second.  With one hand.

Thad gestures back to Kurt and the man scrutinizes him before saying something too low for Kurt to hear.  They walk a short distance further and then Thad nods his head down the hallway.  Kurt looks to the door at the end and then back to Thad.

“Thank you.”

Thad turns and walks back the way he came, leaving Kurt alone in the hallway.

Kurt isn’t sure if he’s supposed to knock or not, so he does just in case.  He can hear noise on the other side, but it’s not actual words.  Part of him wants to run and find Thad and just leave because this could be a huge mistake.  Ambushing Blaine when he is clearly avoiding him could only make things worse.  But waiting alone for Blaine has gotten him nowhere.

He pushes the door open and his eyes immediately spot Blaine at the opposite end of the room.  Wes is sparring with him and if they didn’t have gloves on, Kurt would think they were really fighting.  The door shutting behind Kurt is louder than he expected and both men pull back and look him.  Blaine immediately crouches down, spitting out his mouth guard, and trying to catch his breath.  Wes looks back and forth between them and then takes off his gloves.  As he makes his exit out another door, Blaine stands and moves over to the punching bag, laying into it like his life depends on it.

Somehow Kurt finds the strength to move his legs and makes his way across the room. When he gets close, he sees pure rage on Blaine’s face.   He tries to find the right words to say, but he is at a complete loss.

Several long moments pass between them, Blaine acting as if Kurt doesn’t exist.

“Blaine…”

And then Blaine is rounding on him, fists raised, and with such ferocity Kurt is sure that he’s going to be hit.  He closes his eyes and raises his hands in defense.  In this moment, Kurt is terrified.

A hit doesn’t come – the room filled with heavy breathing and the soft thud when Blaine drops his gloves.  Kurt opens his eyes to see Blaine staring down at his hands, slowly peeling the tape off his fingers.

“What are you doing here?”  It sounds like an accusation - he’d made the wrong decision in coming here.

Kurt’s hands lower to his side, still shaking.  “Y-you wouldn’t come h-home.”

Blaine looks at him, eyes narrowed.  “Are you afraid of me?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“God damn it, you do know!  Did you think I was going to fucking hit you?”

A shiver runs through his body and all he wants is to make this right.  “I know you’re angry.  I know I did something wrong.”

Blaine huffs and throws the tape on the floor.  “I’m going to have a serious talk with Thad.  Now go home.”

“Not without you.”  Kurt finds courage he didn’t know he had.  “Come home with me.”

Blaine looks at him incredulously.   “You’re giving orders now?”

Kurt shakes his head slightly feeling chastised.  He can’t meet Blaine’s eyes, but he sees the man turn his back and start to walk away.

Immediately, Kurt falls to his knees.  “Tell me what to do.  I’ll do anything.”

Blaine stops, but doesn’t turn.

“I can’t go back there without you.  I’ll do anything you tell me to.  Do you want me to beg?  I’ll beg.”  His voice is already pleading, thick with emotion, and the tears spilling down his cheeks to match.  “Please, Blaine.  Please.  Anything.  Yours.”

The words barely make it out between the sobs.  He’s not begging for himself, but his father.

Kurt’s so far gone that he barely registers the hand on his head, the body near him, the arms around him.  It seems like he’ll never stop crying and Blaine just holds him through it.

The ache in his knees brings him back to himself and he looks up at Blaine meekly.

Blaine places the lightest kiss on his lips and then stands up.  When he extends his hand down to Kurt, there’s not a moment of hesitation.  Kurt clings to him, the pair walking awkwardly down the old narrow hallways out to the car.

By the time they make it home, Kurt’s tears are dry and a quiet determination takes over.  He’ll do anything to keep Blaine happy and worry about the end of this when it comes. 

Blaine makes them both tea and they settle at the kitchen table, the apartment still eerily quiet.

“I’m sorry.”  Kurt’s voice is raspier than usual, his emotional meltdown having taken its toll.

“I know you are.”  Blaine holds his hand across the table and Kurt drinks his tea.  He’s stupid to expect any kind of apology from Blaine in return – Blaine’s never sorry.

Things are far from back to normal between them, but Blaine is here and that’s what’s important right now.

“My dad wants to meet you.”

“And do you want me to meet your dad?”

Kurt smiles and nods.  “I do.”

Blaine pulls Kurt’s hand up and kisses it.  “Okay.”

He leads Kurt to the bedroom, holds him close, kisses him sweetly.  Kurt can’t remember Blaine ever being this gentle – mapping out his body as if it were somehow new to him.  Blaine takes his time, Kurt watching the time pass as the sun dips lower and lower on the horizon.

When Blaine comes inside him, it feels like forgiveness.

***