Consume Me Like A Fire
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Consume Me Like A Fire: Chapter 2


E - Words: 4,890 - Last Updated: Aug 08, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/11 - Created: Aug 05, 2012 - Updated: Aug 08, 2012
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"Everybody has a price." - Jimmy Hoffa

 

Part of Kurt thought that Blaine spun a good story, played a good part, but that he wouldn’t actually come through in helping his father.

 

That thought is quelled when he arrives in his father’s room the next morning to find his few belongings packed into a box and a nurse waiting for him to sign the transfer papers.

 

As he follows the ambulance transport onto the lush grounds of Rosemont Hospital, he can’t help but be grateful.   The difference is night and day compared to the county hospital.  His father gets settled into his private room, immediately being checked over by a team of nurses.  Once he’s hooked up to the appropriate monitors and deemed stable, his father’s assigned nurse – Gail – introduces herself to Kurt and gives him a brief tour of the facilities.  He meets the two main doctors that will be monitoring his father’s progress, both of whom have very positive prognoses.  In less than an hour, Kurt has been given more information about his father’s care and treatment than his previous doctor had relayed in a week.  Kurt sits at his father’s bedside, his eyes full of tears, and his heart full of hope.

 

The afternoon sun feels warm on his back as it filters through the window.  Kurt isn’t sure where the hours have gone, but he knows he should head home before it gets any later.

 

“Dad, I have to go for today.  You’re in really good hands and I’m going to be back very soon.”

 

Kurt worries for a moment at the lack of details he has in regards to his “stay” with Blaine.  Would he be allowed to visit his father?  Surely Blaine knew how important that was.

 

Kurt shakes the thought off and squeezes his dad’s hand.  “If I don’t come back tomorrow, I’ll at least call and maybe the nurse can put the phone to your ear.  Things are going to be so much better here.  I’m not ready to lose you.” Kurt’s voice cracks, but he clears his throat and continues.  “So you have to get better.  I know when you wake up you’ll have so many questions, but I don’t care as long as you just wake up.”

 

He wipes his eyes and kisses his dad on the forehead.  It’s hard walking away not knowing what the future holds.

 

***

 

The car pulls up around nine and at first Kurt thinks he imagines it having stared out the window for so long.  The driver doesn’t speak a single word from the time he loads Kurt’s suitcase until he opens the car door for Kurt when they arrive at Blaine’s.  Kurt follows as they make their way up the elevator and into a very posh apartment.  He would think it beautiful if he were visiting under different circumstances.

 

Blaine’s on the phone in the living room, but cuts the call short when he sees Kurt.  The driver walks down the hallway with Kurt’s bag, depositing it no doubt in the bedroom, and then strides out of the apartment.  Kurt can only maintain eye contact with Blaine for a second before he drops his eyes to the floor, ashamed and afraid and more uncertain than he’s ever been in his life.

 

“Hello, Kurt.”

 

Kurt’s gaze flicks up momentarily and then falls to where his hands fidget with the hem of his shirt.

 

“Why don’t you come sit down so we can chat?”

 

Kurt nods and sits at one end of the leather sofa.  Blaine leaves just enough space between them so Kurt isn’t completely uncomfortable, but then Blaine’s hand comes to rest on the back of his neck and he jerks away.  He cringes and moves back to his original position, Blaine’s hand now resting on the back of the couch.

 

“Sorry. I’m--  sorry.”

 

“Jumpy one, aren’t you?”

 

“It’s just been a long day and now--  being here.  I don’t know how to do this.”

 

“Let’s talk about the rules.”

 

Kurt turns to face Blaine.  “Rules?”

 

A small smile plays on his face.  “Yes, Kurt.  Rules.”  His hand casually moves back to Kurt’s neck, fingers rubbing circles at the nape.  “First, you’re free to go anywhere in this apartment that you wish except for the two rooms at the end of the hall.  I expect you to make yourself at home.  Second, you are not to leave the apartment unless you are with me or someone I have instructed you to go with.  Third—“

 

“Wait, I have a question about that.”

 

Blaine looks annoyed at being interrupted, but waits for Kurt to continue.

 

“I visit my father every day.  Will you still allow me to do that?”

 

“You’ll be allowed to see your father when I’m working and can’t spend time with you, but that may not be every day.  Since you don’t have a car here, I will arrange for one of the guys to drive you.  Third, you are not to contact anyone without my expressed permission.”  Kurt wants to interrupt, but stays silent with a pointed look from Blaine.  “I know you have few friends, Kurt, and it’s none of their business where you are or why you’re here.  Fourth, you are to be available to me at all times.  We will go out frequently and I think you’ll be quite happy with your stay here.”

 

Kurt frowns at that.  Blaine makes it sound like this is a vacation.  He may not be chained in the basement, but he’s still a prisoner here.

 

The fingers at his neck pull at him gently and he realizes Blaine is much closer now.  Kurt turns his head away just as Blaine moves to kiss him.  His frustrated sigh seems to echo throughout the room.  Kurt turns his body towards Blaine and reaches for his hand, hoping to keep his attention, but also keep the small distance between them.

 

“I’m sorry.  I’ll do whatever you want while I’m here, I promise.  I just—“  Tears begin to form and he takes a deep breath and blinks them away before looking into Blaine’s eyes again.  His face looks completely open, curiosity tinged around the edges at what Kurt is going to say.  “I’m not experienced.  I’ll give you whatever you want, I just need it to not start tonight okay?”

 

Kurt knows he’s blushing, his hand sweating where it holds the other boy’s, but there is no anger on Blaine’s face.  He looks almost happy.

 

“Are you a virgin?”

 

The blush deepens.  “No, I’ve done stuff before and I-I mean, it’s not like I’ve never been with anyone or whatever.”

 

“Tell me what you’ve done.”

 

Kurt lets out a small noise of protest, but Blaine keeps that same happy smile on his face.  This is a game to him.

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Tell me.”  That tone.  Blaine is hardly an intimidating man in his size, but the way he speaks sends a shiver down Kurt’s spine.

 

“I got a blowjob from a guy at a party last year.  And we had sex one other time, but I was too drunk to really remember a lot about either incident.”

 

“Incident?  Wow, sounds like a crime.  So did you do the fucking or did he?”

 

Kurt has never talked so casually about sex before.  “What?”

 

Blaine leans forward.  “Did you stick your dick in his ass or did he stick his in yours?”

 

“Oh, uh, I did—um—to him.”

 

“So nobody’s ever fucked you?”

 

Kurt closes his eyes and shakes his head.

 

“Do you finger yourself?”

 

Kurt opens his eyes and tries to pull his hand away, but Blaine only tightens his grip.  He holds Kurt’s wrist with one of his hands and traces along his fingers with the other.  “When you’re trying to get off, do you finger yourself?”

 

He can’t even look in Blaine’s direction, but he nods nonetheless.

 

Blaine lets out a soft moan.  “I bet that’s a sight.”  He releases Kurt’s hand, but doesn’t otherwise move.  “I guess it’s a good thing I have enough experience for the both of us.”

 

Blaine stands up and extends his hand to Kurt.

 

“You’ll sleep with me in the bedroom we’ll share, but I won’t make you do anything tonight.  I’ve got plans to take you out tomorrow night, so that should be more than enough time to get settled in.”

 

Kurt tries to keep the look of relief off his face.  He mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ and allows Blaine to guide him by his hand through a tour of the apartment.  Blaine leaves Kurt to unpack while he goes into one of the two ‘forbidden’ rooms in the back.  Kurt rushes through his skincare routine and climbs into bed.  He lies there for more than an hour, hugging the edge of the bed, unable to fall asleep.  Blaine comes in after midnight, and true to his word, doesn’t so much as touch Kurt.

 

Kurt still gets very little sleep that night and finds the other side of the bed empty when he wakes just after sunrise.

 

***

 

Blaine hadn’t left a note or a number of where to reach him.  Kurt spends the morning familiarizing himself with the apartment.  The fridge is fully stocked, but the kitchen looks like it’s never used.  Everything is immaculate, none of the furniture worn-in.  Kurt eyes the piano in the formal living room and makes a mental note to ask Blaine if he plays.  It looks untouched, so it isn’t likely.

 

Kurt knows he isn’t supposed to leave the apartment.  It’s one of the ‘rules’ that Blaine had informed him of the night before.  But all he can think about is his father.  He opens the front door and peers down the hall finding it just as empty as the apartment.  He rushes to the elevator, mashing the ‘close door’ button repeatedly.  Kurt’s walking through the lobby of the building when his cell phone rings.  His first thought is that something has happened with his father, his thoughts warring between hope and grief.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Go back up to the apartment, Kurt.”

 

Kurt nearly drops the phone.  “Blaine?  How did you—“

 

“I don’t have time for this, Kurt.  Get back up there now.  And be ready to go out at 7.”

 

“I want to see my father.”

 

The line is quiet save for the few deep breaths Blaine takes.  “Don’t push me, Kurt.  Go upstairs and call the hospital.  There’s no change.  You can see him tomorrow.”

 

“But I—“

 

Now, Kurt.”

 

And then the call ends.  Kurt is fuming.  He can see the passing cars outside and thinks briefly about continuing with his plan.  But Blaine is the one who got his father moved to Rosemont and Kurt knows he could just as easily be transferred out.

 

He turns and walks back to the elevator, seething all the way up.  A tall man in a suit now stands outside Blaine’s front door.

 

“Great.  Just what I need.”

 

The man opens the door for Kurt and then quietly closes it behind him, not saying a word.

 

Kurt calls Rosemont and is informed that nothing has changed, just as Blaine had said.  It doesn’t stop him from wanting to see his father, but he can let it go for one day.

 

***

 

Blaine arrives promptly that evening, flowers in hand and a smile on his face.

 

Kurt is ready for dinner as instructed, but he’s been waiting all day, ready to fight.

 

“You left me here alone all day, no idea where you were.  You had someone spy on me and you won’t let me go see my father!”

 

Blaine just sighs and sets the flowers on the counter.

 

“Stop acting like a petulant child.  I’m going to change for dinner and then we’ll be going.”

 

“I am neither a child nor an animal.  Do not command me to do things.”

 

Blaine turns to look at him fully, an appraising look in his eyes.  “I will command you to do whatever I feel like since you have agreed to be here.  Have you so quickly forgotten?  I hear your father remained stable today and the doctors and nurses continue to monitor him very closely.  I would think the quality of his care would be your number one concern.”  His voice remains even, no sign of the irritation from earlier.  “I had to deal with something unexpected this morning which unfortunately prevented me from informing Thad to take you to see your father.  You can go see him tomorrow unless you decide you would like to end our agreement now.  I won’t continue to argue with you.”

 

Kurt stares, eyes narrowed, but keeps his mouth shut.

 

“Alright then.  I am going to change for dinner and I expect you to have a more pleasant attitude when I return.”

 

Kurt wants to push it further, but he wonders how his actions will affect his father.  He can put on a fake smile and act amiable if he has to.

 

They don’t speak in the elevator or the short car ride to their destination.  It isn’t until Kurt steps out of the car that he looks to Blaine.  “You’re taking me to the theater?”

 

“You like it, right?”

 

“Yes. I just thought—“  He shakes his head.  “I don’t know what I thought.”

 

They settle into a comfortable silence as they make their way to the private box seats.  Kurt sits forward on the edge of his chair as soon as the lights go down.

 

When the show ends, Blaine grabs Kurt’s hand, thankfully receiving no snarky comment or resistance.  They walk several blocks over to a small Italian restaurant, the silence following them.

 

Kurt doesn’t want to be the first to speak.  There is still a spark of anger lingering within him, but it’s waned significantly.

 

“You look beautiful when you’re watching them sing.  It’s like you feel the emotion in each word.”

 

Kurt looks up, startled at both the sound and the actual words spoken.

 

“It’s a heartbreaking story.”

 

“Who’s your favorite?”

 

“Enjolras, obviously.  Who doesn’t love a hero?”  Kurt can’t help but smile and it only grows as he looks across at Blaine with a similar expression across his face.  “What about you?”

 

“Javert all the way.  I love a good antagonist.”

 

“You would.”  Kurt looks up hesitantly thinking he may have said the wrong thing.  He’s met with a grin and a nod, so he lets himself relax again.

 

Conversation over dinner is easy – easier than Kurt had expected.  If they had met in a coffee shop or on campus, Kurt could see them being friends.  But the circumstances that brought them to be here in this moment will always keep Kurt slightly on edge.

 

When they finally got back to the apartment, Blaine holds the door open for Kurt, but then quickly pulls him close in the entryway.

 

Kurt stands stock still as Blaine leans forward to kiss him, a firm press of their lips together.  He’s shocked into kissing back as Blaine licks along his bottom lip and opens him up.  Blaine’s hands hold his face, gently maneuvering him to deepen the kiss.  As Blaine presses him up against the closed door, Kurt breaks away with a small yelp.

 

Blaine’s hands continue to hold him, his eyes searching for something in Kurt’s.  And then with another small, chaste kiss, Blaine pulls away.

 

“I’m sor—“

 

“Look, I’m really exhausted.  I need to get some sleep.” 

 

Without waiting for a response, Blaine walks to the bedroom.  Kurt leans against the door, silently cursing himself and also confused why Blaine hadn’t pushed him.  He’d made it abundantly clear why Kurt was here—couldn’t he just take what he wanted?

 

Kurt makes his way to the bedroom and finds Blaine already under the covers.

 

He can’t help but feel that he’s going to mess this up and his father will be the one to suffer.

 

***

 

The clanking and laughing keeps getting progressively louder.  At first it seems like a dream, but then he shoots up in bed and realizes there is someone else in the apartment.  He quietly makes his way to the kitchen, peering around the corner to see Blaine leaning over the island, teasing the man cooking something at the stove.

 

Blaine turns with two plates in hand and catches sight of Kurt.

 

“Perfect timing—come have some pancakes, Kurt.”

 

Kurt just nods, eyes still on the other man as Blaine leads him to the table.

 

“Ah, the infamous Kurt.”  The man turns and winks at the boy.

 

“Ignore my idiot brother—“

 

Kurt’s forked drops loudly to his plate.  “Cooper Anderson,” he whispers.

 

“—Cooper.”

 

Both boys eye Kurt carefully.

 

Kurt shakes his head and tries to gather his wits about him.  “Sorry, sorry.  Nice to meet you.”

 

“I hear you’ll be staying with us for a while, Kurt.”

 

“You live here?”

 

“Yah, just got back from Boston this morning.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of one another.”

 

He just nods his head, shock and fear and a dozen other emotions racing through him.  Everything he’s said since meeting Blaine was running on a loop in his mind.  Blaine.  Blaine was Cooper Anderson’s brother.  Oh god.

 

Kurt made a deal with the brother of one of the most dangerous men in the city.

 

He was going to be sick.

 

***

 

Kurt is unusually quiet during breakfast, but no one calls him on it.  He offers to do the dishes just to get away from the table.  When a hand touches his shoulder, he flinches and drops the pan he was scrubbing.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

He manages to nod and halfway smile at Blaine.

 

“Cooper and I have some work to do today, but it won’t take all day.  I thought you might want to go see your dad.”

 

“Yes, definitely.”

 

“Okay, Thad will be up here in an hour to get you.  I’ll be back this afternoon and we’ll go do something fun.”  Blaine squeezes his shoulder before the brothers leave the apartment.

 

Kurt nearly has a breakdown as soon as the front door shuts, but he tries to focus on visiting his father.  He gets ready quickly and sits against the wall just outside the apartment.  The air feels too heavy inside, his thoughts continuing to flicker back to the Anderson brothers.

 

He’s relieved to hear the elevator ding and quickly makes his way towards Thad.  Kurt tries to make small talk as a distraction for himself, but it’s clear the man has nothing to say.

 

When they get to the hospital, Thad sits in a chair outside of the room.  Gail, his father’s nurse, comes in shortly after his arrival and updates him.  His father is stable, every test showing normal.  It’s just going to take some time for him to wake up.  Kurt remembers the first heart attack his father had and the days he laid unconscious in that hospital room.  His father woke up then and he will wake up now. 

 

Time. 

 

Time spent waiting. 

 

Time spent waiting with Blaine.

 

He sits beside his father, grasping his hand desperately.  “Dad, I don’t know what I’ve gotten us into.  If you were awake right now and knew everything, I would deserve every lecture you could dish out.  I did this for you, but I did this for me too.  I need you in my life and I knew I was making a sacrifice to hopefully help.  Turns out the sacrifice is bigger than I thought.”  He bends over, his forehead resting against their hands together.  “I don’t know what to do.  I’m so afraid.”

 

Kurt looks up to his father, silently pleading for him to wake up.  He stares for a long time before he’s brought back to reality by Thad opening the door and gesturing for them to leave.  Kurt nods and leans over to kiss his father’s forehead.

 

“Bye, dad.”

 

***

 

They pull up to the building, but before Kurt can get out, he hears the trunk shut and Blaine slides in beside him.

 

“I’m sorry.  Was I supposed to be back sooner?”

 

Blaine gives him an odd look.  “No, you’re fine.  I wanted you to spend time with your father.”  He reaches between them and takes Kurt’s hand.  “I’ve planned something really exciting for tonight.”

 

“Great.”  Kurt’s smile is too forced, so he turns his head to look out the window.  They drive for a while, leaving the city behind.  Kurt knows Blaine is watching him, he just can’t bring himself to meet his gaze.

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

Kurt snaps his head around.  “What?  Why?”

 

“Because it’s a surprise.”

 

“I really don’t like surprises.”

 

“Come on.”

 

Kurt takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.  The car drives for another minute before coming to a stop.  Blaine helps Kurt out of the car, his eyes tightly shut.

 

“Okay, open then.”

 

Kurt opens his eyes and blinks several times at the sight in front of him.  “Oh…”

 

“Amazing, right?”

 

“No.”

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing, I mean—it’s fine.”

 

Kurt stares with wide eyes at the hot air balloon in front of them.  He lets go of Blaine’s hand and leans against the car, focusing on taking deep, measured breaths.

 

“I thought it would be fun and romantic.”

 

“I—yah, fun.  Romantic.”

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, I just don’t think—Blaine I can’t get in that.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’m desperately afraid of heights.  And that’s a basket.  Attached to a thin layer of material with a fire beneath it.  That doesn’t scream death trap to you?”

 

Blaine looks disappointed.

 

“I could try it, I think.  Maybe.”

 

“No, it’s fine.  I thought it would be something different.”

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your plan.”

 

“We’ll make other plans.  In fact, I brought food.”  As if on queue, the trunk pops and Blaine takes a picnic basket out.  “I hope you can handle this kind of basket.”

 

Kurt rolls his eyes.  Blaine lays a blanket out in the grass and begins unpacking the basket’s contents.

 

“Okay, we have caviar, pâté, smoked salmon, brie, and an assortment of breads and crackers.”

 

Blaine looks at Kurt’s scrutinizing face.  “You must like at least some of that.”

 

“Bread and crackers?”

 

Blaine sighs and shakes his head.  “That’s the last time I ask Cooper anything.”

 

Kurt lets out a loud laugh.  “You asked your brother what to pack for a picnic?”

 

“Yah.  I don’t exactly go on many picnics.”

 

“What’s wrong with finger sandwiches and fruit and chips?”

 

“I wanted it to be classier than that.  I thought you’d like fancy stuff.”

 

This prompts another laugh from Kurt.  “I like some fancy things, but fish eggs and minced meat are not among them.  My dad is a mechanic.  I think I lived on PB and J sandwiches and hot dogs until I taught myself to cook when I was ten.”

 

“Well, maybe we can live off bread and wine tonight then.  We may not be going up in that balloon, but we can still watch it launch.”

 

Kurt just nods and smiles.  They lay there for hours, the rainbow balloon long gone in the distance and the sky’s colors changing with the sunset.  Kurt is just past buzzed and he wishes he’d eaten more than bread to help soak the wine up.  The last thing he wants is to be out of control in Blaine’s company, no matter how comfortable it feels laying next to him staring up at the sky.

 

All it takes is a glance toward Blaine and then they’re kissing.  Kurt tenses only for a moment before he tells himself to relax.  Kissing he can do.  It’s everything else that worries him.

 

Kissing turns into Blaine laying half on top of him, hand rubbing up and down his side, mouth slowly leaving a trail of kisses down Kurt’s neck.

 

“Blaine, w-we’re in public.”

 

“Nobody around.”  Kissing turns to sucking.

 

“But we’re outside.”

 

Blaine leans up and looks at him.  “Okay, let’s go home.”

 

Kurt stands up a little too quickly, swaying on his feet.  He tries to remember how many glasses he had.  Blaine throws everything in the trunk with little finesse, but someone else will surely clean it out tomorrow.

 

Before Thad even gets them back on the main road, Blaine pins Kurt against the door with a kiss.  Kurt pushes back, deepening the kiss to get them upright again.  The angle against the door makes his head swim.  There are hands all over him, touching, rubbing, burning as they move under the back of his shirt.

 

“Touch me,” Blaine breathes against his lips and then moves back to suck on Kurt’s neck.

 

Kurt runs his hand up Blaine’s chest hesitantly.   He can do this.  This feels nice.  He lets his hands roam around Blaine’s neck and down his back.  Blaine releases his neck only to attack his mouth again.

 

When Kurt’s hand comes to run down Blaine’s chest again, Blaine grabs his wrist and guides it further down, never missing a beat of the kiss.

 

His hand is guided back and forth, more pressure applied.  He lets out a small squeak when he realizes he’s stroking Blaine’s cock.  They break apart for just a few moments, Kurt practically gasping for breath.  He feels too hot, dizzy.  Blaine fidgets in his seat and then settles back again, licking into Kurt’s mouth with renewed fervor.  Kurt feels his hand being guided again, but this time he feels flesh in his hand.  Blaine wraps Kurt’s fingers around his cock and slowly slides them up and down.  Kurt pulls back slightly, but Blaine follows, moaning into his mouth.

 

“Yah, just like that.”

 

Kurt turns his head and kisses at Blaine’s neck, needing a minute reprieve.

 

“God, your mouth, Kurt.”

 

As he kisses down Blaine’s neck, a gentle pressure on his shoulder urges him down further.  He sees Blaine’s cock, straining where Kurt’s fingers are still wrapped lightly around it.  He sits up and looks at Blaine.  His pupils blown, face flushed, and looking at Kurt like he could eat him alive.

 

“Come on, baby.”  It sounds like a desperate plea, but to Kurt it feels like a demand.  This is what he’s here for. 

 

“But—Thad.”  Kurt gestures to the driver.

 

“I pay him to drive, not to pay attention to what I’m doing.”

 

He reluctantly slides down onto the floor mat, looking up at Blaine, and then back to his hand where it strokes Blaine with more pressure now.  He leans forward, licking up the side and over the head.  It tastes bitter, but Blaine’s moan brings back his focus.  The sooner he makes Blaine come, the better.  He takes the tip in his mouth, sucking experimentally and swirling his tongue.

 

“Fuck, yes.”

 

Blaine’s hand moves to the back of his head now, urging him forward with a fist full of hair.  Kurt takes more and more into his mouth, almost gagging before he pulls back up.  He bobs up and down more quickly, not taking as much of Blaine’s cock, his fist still pumping at the base.  The hand in his hair tightens causing Kurt to groan with discomfort.  Blaine seems to like this, pulling harder and then pushing Kurt down while bringing his hips up at the same time.  Kurt can feel the head hit the back of his throat and he grips the seat with his free hand.  He can’t breathe, he’s going to throw up, and then Blaine is coming down his throat with a loud moan.

 

Blaine loosens his grip, allowing Kurt to pull back slightly, but his hand keeps Kurt down.  He swallows and prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that he won’t empty his minimal stomach contents over Blaine’s lap.   His eyes are wet, but he convinces himself that’s from the gagging.  Blaine pulls him back onto the seat and kisses him sweetly.  Kurt sits back and reaches for the button to lower the window.  He looks back to Blaine.

 

“Hot.  And dizzy from the wine.”  Kurt’s voice sounds wrecked.  He tries to smile, but his breathing is still coming too fast.  Blaine just smiles back and grabs his hand.

 

Kurt stares out the window, determined not to cry.

 

***

 


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wow...don't even know what to say but I can't seem to want to stop reading....

Omggg Kurt should be happy I mean a hot man like Blaine is taking care of his dad and him too ;) (I know he is stranger to him) So he knows who Cooper is? Is he gonna find out Blaine is like him or dangerous too. Cooper doesn't seem like 'one of the most dangerous men in the city' in this story but I just started it anyway Great chapter

poor kurt what has he gotten hisself into

omg is all i can say.