atruthsoloud
Aug. 8, 2012, 5:51 p.m.
Consume Me Like A Fire: Epilogue
E - Words: 1,134 - Last Updated: Aug 08, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/11 - Created: Aug 05, 2012 - Updated: Aug 08, 2012 5,459 0 58 1 1
Author's Notes: And finally the end. Blaine POV.
They say time heals all wounds, but they don’t tell you how long you’ll have to wait. A lot of days have passed – a lot of time. Some wounds just refuse to heal.
It wasn’t hard to get in to the little party. Blaine has more connections than he can count and something this small hardly requires calling in a big favor.
He’s stayed away for so long and it was harder than he’ll ever admit. But tonight, he’s here for one reason: Kurt. It’s selfish of him, he knows, but he doesn’t care. He needs this and Blaine never needs anything or anyone.
The nervous feeling strumming through him is almost overwhelming, though he’ll never let it show.
So when the man of the hour walks in, Blaine keeps his eyes locked – follows him as he flits around the room. Kurt is still all long limbs and pale skin. It hurts to look, but Blaine can’t turn away.
It takes longer for Kurt to see him – busy making the rounds, shaking hands, and being congratulated. This party is for him after all. Laughter bubbles out of him and he looks to the side. Blaine can see the immediate realization on Kurt’s face. It hurts a little to see the smile fade so quickly, replaced by worry and fear.
Kurt scans the room for someone, something. Blaine follows his gaze to see Burt, obviously just noticing his presence at the soiree. It doesn’t surprise him when the man makes a beeline in his direction. Burt doesn’t look mad – he looks disappointed and conflicted.
From the way he stares at Blaine, Burt must know some of the truth now. There’s no anger in his expression though. Distrust is there obviously, but he looks every bit the concerned father. Blaine wishes that his father had looked at him like that – if only just once.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“That’s probably true, sir.”
“Just leave him alone.”
“I’m not here to cause any problems.”
And then Kurt is there, one hand on his dad’s shoulder. “It’s okay, dad.”
When Blaine looks back at Burt, he’s watching Kurt, sadness and regret filling his face. It’s there for only a moment before he glares at Blaine and walks off.
Staring at Kurt now, Blaine is sure he’s still the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.
“Blaine…”
And that voice. It was definitely a mistake to come, but it’s one he would make over and over again.
“Congratulations on your collection. I always knew you’d do something amazing.”
Kurt has an unreadable look on his face. “Well, I’m not exactly Marc Jacobs yet, but I guess dressing one famous celebrity certainly gives you enough of a boost to get yourself out there.”
“Yes, the Oscar dress was stunning.”
“I got lucky, I suppose. Why are you here?”
“I just wanted to congratulate you in person.”
Kurt studies him for a long time – like he’s trying to solve a puzzle and the pieces don’t quite match up.
“How are you, Blaine?”
“Never better.”
“I heard about Cooper.”
“Yah, well, he’s doing his time.”
“You look tired.” He was tired. Things had been rough since Cooper went to prison. A lot of things had changed – everything seemed to get harder.
“You still look beautiful.”
“Blaine…”
“I’ve been waiting three years to say that.”
“I should go.”
Blaine nods with a sad smile. “Enjoy your party.”
Kurt turns, but only makes it two steps before he swings back around.
“Blaine—there’s something I need to ask you.”
“Anything.”
Kurt’s eye color changes with his emotion and Blaine is transfixed.
“Why did you let me go when you could have easily made me to stay?”
It’s not a question Blaine is expecting, but the answer is simple. “Because you never would’ve been truly happy. And that’s all I want for you.”
Kurt nods, eyes downcast.
Blaine can’t tell him just how close he came to forcing him to stay – how many times after he’d left that Wes had to talk him out of dragging Kurt back.
“You told your father the truth?”
“Most of it.”
“Why?”
“Because he loves me and knows when I’m hurting. He needed to know in order to help me and I needed to tell him in order to heal.”
“I’m glad he was there for you.”
The air between them is awkward.
“I should really go.”
“Kurt… I’m really happy for everything that’s coming to you. You deserve only the best.”
“Thank you.”
Blaine wants to reach out, but he knows better. He has no right to touch Kurt.
Kurt walks away hesitantly, looking back several times like there’s something left unsaid.
It takes a lot for Blaine to keep from grabbing him and leaving. He wants to take Kurt away, keep him close. But he doesn’t. Instead he’ll recede to the background, helping from behind the scenes. He wonders if Kurt would be thankful to know everything Blaine has done for him. Maybe it would win him over.
It would be so easy to tell him – that scholarship when he returned to school, the internship with one of his favorite designers, a name dropped into the ear of someone famous.
But the reality of it is, that knowledge would only make Kurt doubt himself. Blaine may have given him a boost, but Kurt was the one that studied his butt off in school and aced that interview for his internship. And famous people get told about designers all the time – this one just happened to fall in love with Kurt’s work.
He didn’t come here for that though. He hasn’t done all of it for that. Kurt’s the first person in his life, aside from his mother, that Blaine’s ever really loved.
And as hard as it is to accept, Kurt will never be a part of his life again. Blaine still feels like he owes him. Kurt was destined for great things and Blaine only wants to ease the way. This is his penance. He’ll spend the rest of his life making it up to Kurt. And for once, he doesn’t want the credit.
So he finishes his drink and looks for Wes and David. He locks eyes with Kurt one last time, smiling his goodbye. When Kurt smiles back, Blaine knows he did the right thing for once in his life.
It feels good.
***
End Notes: Thanks again for reading :)
Comments
You must be logged in to add a comment. Log in here.
so bittersweet. I usually hate imperfect endings, but this one is the right one. thanks for a great story.
I hated Blaine this entire story. And now I'm crying my eyes out for him. ...sigh.
This was amazing!! I feel so sorry for Blaine. Such a sad ending, but the whole thing was incredible. I loved it.
Oh, wow... If I had found this story before I would've written you a review on more chapters. I loved this story. And I loved that it didn't have a happy ending, because that would've been odd. It wouldn't have fitted the story to have them running off into the sunset together. This is perfect. Great story, wonderul ending. Really well done. ^^
efygubjklrdfghuirebhilllllllllllllllerhrgggfjklvngrflbhkjgrTHIS FIC! THIS FREAKING FIC! Part of me's just like 'they shouldn't be together, it's unhealthy' but then I'm just like 'Blaine needs you!!!!'Will there be a sequel? Please say yes!
No sequel planned, but if inspiration strikes I'll let you know ;)
I don't like sad ending...you make me cry.. :'(
MY HEART IT'S BROKEN I CAN'T *CRIES*
no, this made me sad :( but it was a great story, thanks for writing it!
This story was so beautiful. I was literally bawling at the end. The emotions that I experienced from this was too much. Are those tears coming down my face?....yup they are. It would be wonderful if you would make a sequel. :D I give you 5 golden stars my friend. <3
I wanted so much, for them to end up together. But I understand why it could not be so... Sigh... I took couple hours to read all of this. I couldn't go to sleep, it wouldn't allow me. And now my face is a river.... Thanks for this.
Holy fuck, I thought Blaine was at Kurts wedding for a second there. Jesus Christ. This is an awesome story. I'm surprised it's not in like everyone's reading list. So good.
what a heartbreaking and beautiful story <3
Great, now I'm sitting here crying a river - thanks for that... :-)Wonderfully written, heartbreaking story.
OMG. i just read all of this and i'm an emotional wreck. *bawls eyes out* i... don't even know what else to say. this is one of the most captivating stories i have ever read. i just couldn't stop reading. and even though i knew that they couldn't possibly have a happy ending (because, seriously...), i can't help but be sad, almost devastated. you did a truly wonderful job! i may have to find a oneshot that's so full of fluff it'll make my teeth rot before i actually go to bed; otherwise i'd probably lie here, mourning lost chances and cursing the unfairness of life. i'm pathetic, ain't i? oh well. it was worth reading this though. *sniffles* *thumbs up*
was seriously hoping for a happy ending..... it was a good story though - it was really hard to stop reading it so I had to sit and read it in one day :)
I just re-read this and now that I finally have an account wanted to review this fic as it deserves. Because wow is it great, all the awards for writing something so infectiously readable and well-written, its quite an accomplishment to write in a realistic psychological context with fitting emotional trauma without villainising or victimizing characters (not to mention the hot dub-con smut that manages to stay light enough to be accessable despite the dark context). The ending is beyond perfect. Bless you for writing this.
All of your reviews made me smile. I love knowing what people thing as the story progresses. Glad you enjoyed it ;)
Omgg ok I know I said Kurt should just give in, in my past reviews but Blaine was hard to deal with at times I mean he could be nice but he was used to being an ass and I am glad Cooper went to prison. Awww Blaine has helped Kurt for all those years without Kurt knowing it. I really thought they were gonna fall in love but this story was still amazing.
Noooo I honestly thought Kurt would fall in love with Blaine! We need an alternate ending!! LolGreat story, I really enjoyed it. I think it would have been interesting to see more of Blaine's POV, but I guess this was more about Kurt's journey. His ups and downs during the 3 months were great, well told.Thanks for sharing!
Damn.. Its one in the morning and I just finished this. Wow! This was good... Bravo Author, Bravo
I have loved this story! Is there or will there be a sequal?
Omg, that was amazing. I ws crying through most of the story because of the sympathy I felt for Kurt and the injustice of it all. Wonderful story, beautiful work. I just wish that Kurt and Blaine would get together in the end, but it was still a happy-ish ending. I loved it! Keep writing!
Done reading this at 3:11 in the morning and I am a little bit broken now
Such an amazing story. The last chapter plus this made me tear up :( I wish they could have started over and fallen in love. Sigh. It hurts knowing that Blaine is so broken. Still loved it though.
While it was frustrating to read Blaine's forceful ways, this story was beautifully written and I did thoroughly enjoy it. The way you wrote the subtle but overall underlying goodness in Blaine that did manage to shine through was fantastic. I commend you a lot for the way you evoked emotion through that and through this epilogue. Amazing.
Well, that was rough to read... :-/ I guess that's refreshing in a way. And it was an excellent portrayal of psychological abuse. Just... Ouch. Congrats on being featured.
love it!
this is so sad and beautiful. You are amazing!
Wow. I always know when a story is going to stick with me and I got that feeling within the first half of the first chapter with this one. You write stunningly. Thanks so much for sharing it :)
Okay, so I read this whole story yesterday and loved it so I thought it was only fair to review to let you know because as a fellow writer I know how important honest feedback is. ^^ It has a bittersweet ending - even though you know it was for the greater good Kurt didn't come back to Blaine, the latter part of the fic has you sorta rooting for everything to work out and it's sad when Kurt realises there's a side of Blaine which is good but it isn't enough. Anyway, loved your idea, loved your writing - I just wish it wasn't over yet! >w< Thank you for your awesome fic.
I'm happy and sad at the same time. i just want them together but like NO cause... just NO. HURTS that was evil. loved it
THIS STORY WAS ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I'VE READ, AT FIRST I WAS SKEPTICAL, BUT EVERY CHAPTER DREW ME CLOSE TO THE NEXT ONE THIS WAS AMAZING I WOULD RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE THANK U FOR SUCH A GOOD STORY
ALL THE FEELS. I CAN'T STOP CRYING. WHY JUST WHY? MOST BEAUTIFUL EVER I JUST - I'M DONE. I AM DONE
Excuse me while I curl up into a ball and sob.I read I Know Not Why last night, and loved it. Tonight I read this, and despite the saddest, most bittersweet ending ever... I loved this even more. I've never cried while reading a book or fanfiction before, but I came very, very close with this one. I applaude you for your obvious ability to write such amazing stories.
Wow, this was great. I started reading it last night before I went out and all I could think about all evening was that I wished I could finish it! So bittersweet, I felt as conflicted as Kurt did. Thanks!
OMG!!! I'm crying so hard right now!!! how they can't fix this shit??? Why??? I believe in redemption... and in happy end too!!! Now "im sad... so sad!!! It's amazing fic... but I'm sad!
This was such an amazing story! Really original and interesting! You had me on edge at all times, always wanting to read more. Their good-bye in the last chapter had me in tears, and the epiloge was the perfect closure... Again, beautiful work!
I'm so glad I found this feature fic. but I'm conflicted - it was so sad. Beautifully written - could really feel Blaine's pain. He was really an ass and yet you still wrote him with such empathy it was impossible not to want to redeem him somehow and have them live happily ever after.There's a little part of me that's decided that happened somehow at sometime down the road... endgame et al :)
I started crying during the last few chapters and I don't cry easily. A part of me wants Kurt and Blaine to be together and maybe Kurt would be happy after a while, who knows. This story was fantastic and definitely deserves to be a featured story.
I so wished they would get together later in life.. Amazing fic..
Best!! Ever!!
so well written!!!! my stomach literally ached at the last 2 chapters!!!! i didnt know what to expect when i began reading but once i started i couldnt stop. thanks for sharing your talent.
that was sad and beautiful.
That was truly heartbreaking. All of it. Thank you for this story <3
Damn you, I'm not sure if my heart will ever be repaired.
your story is beautiful mostly because it's realistic... I think I'm going to cry my heart out...(soryy for the bad english I'm Italian)
OH MY GOD THAT STORY I READ THE DESCRIPTION AND DIDN'T LIKE IT TOO MUCH BUT THEN I READ THE STORY AND OH MY GOD IM CRYING HOLY FUCK FEELS
I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY!!!!! IT DID THINGS TO MY MIND AND MY HEART!!! I read this in class and let me tell you people were staring t my reactions:) Really well written
Wow. This was...hard to read much of the time. If was worth it though - you have a very powerful portrayal of humanity here. It's sophisticated, messy, so very well written.
wow ok. I think I just need a god cry after reading one-shot but..wow. This is amazing.
Hi! I don't know if you still remember me, but I'm Zushu :) the girl that ask you permission to translate your fic n_nI just see your fic here and thought that I couldn't not leave you a comment! I'm super happy for you! Your story is between the best! I told you! Your story is really amazing :) It will never be enough thanks to show gratitude for leave me do the translation to your lovely fic!I think the final is what makes it so special, it's like romeo and juliet, the tragical ends are more recalled definitelyWell, good luck with the writting, your good at it C:xoxoZushu
i felt like my heart broke when this ended. i knew they werent going to be together but the hopless romantic in me still hoped. i just finished crying. this was a womderful story. you shouldnt continue writing.
You have no idea how emotional I got reading this fanfic.... I knew they couldn't have a happy ending and yet I expected it. I knew Blaine will never really let Kurt go, but does Kurt know this?? Man I loved it!
You know they say that a story is good when they end up together in the end. But the really great and memorable ones are the ones when they don't.Thank you for this great piece.
Writing a little something to add on that maybe leaves things a little less dismal ;)
Second reading.This hurts so good, like the first time, and, though I really would have liked a happy ending, I know this was the right conclusion for this story.Still, it really does hurt. In the good way ;) PS: Btw... never thought about writing a sequel where things go better? ;P^ this doesn't change the fact that this is a really intense story and I love it with all my heart <3
I was trolling someone's fic recs when I found this...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! That's all I could say about it. Geez! My heart hurts.