Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why couldn't he ever do anything right?

Just once, dammit. Once, he would like to have something good in his life that he didn't just wreck. He punched the sandbag so hard the chain rattled against the ceiling and he had to move to prevent it from slamming him in the face on the way back down. Every time. Every single time something good finally happened in his life, he ruined it.

When he finally got some friends at high school? His jealous girl friend Ashley outed him to the entire grade and he sank right back down to the bottom of the social hierarchy.

When he actually got his father's approval and belief in his masculinity? A group of jocks cornered him and his friend Andrew and beat them bloody.

And now, when he'd finally found the perfect boyfriend in one Kurt Hummel? A boyfriend who actually loved him unconditionally and was the perfect match for every single aspect of Blaine's being. Well, he had to screw it all up by making out with Eli freaking Cortelli. Of all the people he could have exchanged spit with. It just had to be Eli. And by sheer virtue of the fact that he had been online in the time if question.

Stupid.

He hit the bag again and it flew up, nearly crashing into the ceiling. He never did anything right, and now he had managed to ruin the single best thing that had ever happened to him. Why did he have to be such a disgusting human being? Why couldn't he be gentle, like Kurt? Or maybe talented, like Cooper. Hell, he would even settle for hot, like Sam. Any of those things, and he could change how people saw him. But he wasn't any of those things. He was just Blaine. And no one ever wanted just Blaine.

He turned abruptly, and left the deserted boxing gym, heading for the showers. He wished he could just cease to exist. Better yet, he wished he had never been born. He didn't deserve all the amazing friends he had. He didn't deserve Cooper, or his parents. And he sure as hell didn't deserve Kurt.

He stepped into a stall and turned the hot water knob all the way, hissing a little as the scalding water touched his skin. He couldn't believe how low he'd sunk. He had no one. Not his parents, who hadn't exchanged more than a few words with him in months. Not the Warblers, who had wanted nothing to do with him since the rock salt incident. Not his new Mckinley friends, who would undoubtably never speak to him again once they heard about what he'd done to Kurt. And as for the man himself... God, Kurt. Kurt would never look his way for the rest of eternity. Kurt would probably replace him with some new, sexy, fabulous New York guy. The kind of guy Kurt deserved. Not Blaine.

Blaine rubbed shampoo into his silky locks with vigor, massaging the substance like it was the last time he would ever be able to use it. He couldn't believe that he'd managed to mess up his entire life. Again. He was alone. Again. And he would be, for the rest of his life. He was complete, total failure. No one cared about him, and rightly so. He was nothing, absolutely nothing.

He always had been, and he always would be.