“Thad?”
The boy in question dropped his hot tea, scalding his pants. The beautiful china cup smashed against the hard ground as it rolled off his knee. Thad gave many mumbled apologies and bent over to clean his mess.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, I just want to talk,” The elder Aburame leaned over and picked up the shards, one by one. “Although,” Thad’s father continued, “if you had keener reflexes you could have easily seen me coming. You’re a ninja, for God’s sake.”
Thad nodded lifelessly, “sorry father.”
Thad’s father ignored the timid apology, and continued sharply, “The Aburame men are not pushovers, we excel at the Shinobi Arts, and we cannot have you drag us down.”
Thad wondered what his father was going to say before he started lecturing. Thad knew he was weak; he didn’t need to hear it from the person he loved.
“I know father, I just got a little startled, that’s all.”
His dad twisted his mouth into a frown, “What woman is going to want a timid, easily startled boy as a husband? Each day you become more and more shameful to this family,” And with that his father left, exiting the small patio into the halls of the Nagaya.
Thad couldn’t say what he wanted to say, he couldn’t say that his father was the source of all his pain and weakness; he couldn’t say his family was a bunch of narcissistic assholes that torment him every single day of his life, he couldn’t say the only person that makes him feel good about himself was one certain ninja with a demon sealed inside him. He couldn’t say that he didn’t want a wife, but he couldn’t say who he wanted either.
Thad packed up the rest of the small picnic he prepared for breakfast this morning, and slowly stalked towards his home. He slid open the sliding door, slipped off his sandals and continued on barefoot on the cold wooden floor. He passed many other members of the Aburame clan, either doing their daily chores, or simply reading on this relaxing sunny Sunday. He entered the kitchen and to his relief did not find his father there. Thad didn’t think he could take any more emotional trauma in one morning. He discarded the dishes in the sink and pulled a rag from the drawer to dry the tea stain. Once done with that, he slipped out of the kitchen silently, and dragged himself to his room to get ready to meet with Emma Sensei. The redhead was one of the only adults to show him any genuine concern, each day she helped him personally with his jutsu, she even bought him barbecue as a reward for mastering a technique. Rachel and Finn were proud of him too. He didn’t know why his dad couldn’t appreciate him, sure he wasn’t as strong as some of the other Aburame men, but he was trying as hard as he could.
He opened the door to his room, it was spacious, the Aburame clan was well off, and so they naturally lived in a luxurious manner. His bed was propped against the wall, it was white, and the sheets and comforter came from the finest silk the Land of Fire could scrape together. The floor was mahogany and there was a relaxing stream flowing outdoors. He made sure to choose the room with the greatest view, he loved the outdoors and in times where his father scared him he would walk outside and sit by the stream. Eventually his worriers would disappear into the water, never to be found again. He’s cried himself to sleep many times by the bank. It was a bittersweet memory, sometimes Thad just needed to cry, sometimes he just needed to be loved.
Thad shook off the depressing thoughts and grabbed his pink hoodie and threw it on. He walked over to the bathroom and started to get ready. His short brown hair was naturally fluffy, and his face was slightly tanned and clear of any blemishes. He brushed his teeth and tied the drawstrings of his hoodie into a bow before grabbing his headband and tying it around his forehead. He gave himself one last reassuring smile before leaving his sanctuary. On the way out the door he ran into his mother, her dark brown hair was curled perfectly at her shoulders, and her bright pink kimono shone in the sun. Thad inherited his mother’s light brown eyes, the exact color of caramel, and her soft delicate features. Thad knew his mother though, he knew there was only one thing she wanted to talk to her son about, and Thad dreaded it.
“Thad there you are, I’ve been looking for you all morning,” his mother’s voice was firm, business like, a large contrast from her beautiful looks, and warm loving eyes.
“What do you need mother?” Thad tried to sound as respectful as he could, he felt so much dislike towards his family, and he wished he could speak his mind to them, but his tongue was tied.
Thad’s mother smiled as if sensing her own son’s inner struggle, “I have found a few more women for you to see, like I’ve told you, we need to start planning for the next generation of ninja, and even if your abilities aren’t up to par, your partner’s will be.”
He really tried to hide the pain that his mother was putting through, even she felt embarrassed of his abilities, and she values a random woman’s ninja skill over her own son’s. Thad honestly wondered where the love went, he wondered when his world took a turn for the worse but he came up with nothing.
“I don’t want to see who you’ve chosen, and besides I have to meet Emma Sensei for training today.” He moved to squeeze past his mother, but she grabbed his arm rather painfully, and stared him straight in the eye.
“You will come with me,” his mother’s voice was cold and demanding, usually Thad would cave under this tone but he had a loving sensei and team he had to get to. He needed the reassurance today more than anything.
“No,” Thad shook off his mother’s grip, “I have to go, it’s my duty. Besides I want to fall in love, I don’t want to be paired up with some meaningless stranger.”
“Love,” His mother gasped, “Love? Nobody’s going to love a boy who can’t hurt a fly; nobody’s going to love a boy who got the lowest Ninjutsu score in your generation of ninja, nobody’s going to love you!”
The hallway was silent except for the sound of crying, he wondered for a split second if he enraged his mother so much that she started to shed angry tears, but that idea quickly faded when he saw her face dry. He wondered who could be making these horrible sounds of despair. Then it hit him.
I’m crying.
The thought hit him like a ton of bricks; he never cried in front of his family, he always saved it for the middle of the night, when nobody could hear him. But his mother just told him he would never be loved. Admittedly, he didn’t have the best relationship with his parents but they had always loved him. But now he wasn’t sure, if even his parents the people who brought him in to this world didn’t love him, then who would? He had a dark thought that his parent’s never truly loved him, he remembered his mom saying he needed to find a woman to start the next generation, maybe he was just mandatory, not brought up by a single ounce of affection or purpose other than to fight.
The tears kept falling, and his mother kept staring. She realized that she had gone a bit far, but to her surprise she couldn’t take it back; her son didn’t show the promise to be a ninja. Even his younger cousins were quickly reaching his level; she couldn’t keep lying to him. He had to be told the truth.
Thad wiped at his eyes, his vision was blurred and he was sure he looked like a wreck, he’d never cried that hard before. His mother indirectly told him she didn’t love him, was worthless. He tried to summon some pride that his teammates loved him; that some people did think he had some worth, but all that confidence he was building quickly shattered when his mother opened her mouth again.
“You’re not cut out to be a ninja,” she started slowly but quickly filled the following silence, “You’re will isn’t not strong enough for this world. I really hate saying this, but you might as well kill yourself, because you’re of no worth to me and your father.”
Thad’s mouth ran dry, he felt the tears stream down his face again, and this time he knew why his parents were so cruel to him. They held absolutely no love for their son, they could care less, and his mother told him to end his life, and he was actually considering is. The pain was all too much, his head was pounding and his heart was dead. His mother may have not been able to kill Thad, physically, but she just put a mental blade through his heart. His breath was coming out in ragged puffs, and he honestly felt like he was going to faint. Oh how tempting it would be to black out, to escape this reality, but he couldn’t. His parents didn’t love him, he was ninety-nine percent sure his parents would leave him there to die, again oh so tempting. Even through all his pain and heartache he powered through. He ran out of the Nagaya off onto the main roads of the Hidden Leaf. His mother stared behind him, no emotion etched onto her face.
Thad was panicking, he was on the verge of mental breakdown, he didn’t know what to do, he could never go back home. Just the thought of his parents sent him spiraling into a dark abyss, seeing them would probably kill him-literally. He ran as fast as he could, gaining odd looks from bystanders who were in his way. He reached an open field. The meadow was gleaming with bright green grass, and many relaxing hues of flowers. In a different circumstance he would probably love the field; he would spend hours smelling the foliage and sprawling across the ground with a book. But now it was the team’s official meeting place and now whenever Thad approached to meet his team, he would be reminded of today’s events.
He was still crying. His eyes stung from the bitter tears that refused to let up. Usually Thad would try to hide his pain, he would try to cover it up and please his parents to the best of his ability. But now he let them fall, he had a pretty good reason. He had already accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to find true love, but to have his parents deny him of love too? That was enough to send Thad into a broken state he would never recover from, and then for his own mother to tell him to kill himself. That was the last straw.
Thad’s irrational side took over. Why should he go through this suffering? Why should he be the only one to feel pain? He stood up and once he was steady, pulled a kunai from his weapon pouch. He’d never been able to please his parent’s anyway. He was going to do one thing they ordered him to do flawlessly. Maybe then they would appreciate him, show him the love he deserved. He proceeded to use the kunai to cut his wrist. He wasn’t emotionally unstable, well maybe he was but he’d never turned to the thought of cutting himself so he wanted to see if he could feel anything. To his dismay the cut felt close to nothing, his Ninjutsu training actually prepared him for that. So without tending to the small wound on his wrist he ripped off his headband. Thad knew he was going crazy, he knew he was being stupid but he loved being in control for once. He tied his headband into a perfect noose around a large oak. He walked up the tree and stuck his head through it.
Don’t do it Thad.
His voice chanted over and over but didn’t faze him, even through everything he still wanted to please his parents. Tears were still streaming down his face as he stuck his head through the headband. He sighed; he felt his feet loosen on the tree when he heard the shrill scream.
“Thad!”
He looked over to see Rachel Hyuga running towards him; Finn wasn’t at her side so she must’ve been early. Thad forgot that his team was meeting here today for training, and slowly he started to come back to reality.
“Oh my God,” Thad gasped and fell out of the tree, the ground met his back painfully and Rachel extended a hand and helped him up.
“What were you doing?” Her voice was shaky, Thad found terror etched into her bright lavender eyes, the darker purple pupil was darting back and forth between the troubled boy and the headband. “And what is this?” She motioned to the angry gash across Thad’s arm.
Thad was silent, he was ashamed that he fell this far, he was ashamed at what his parent’s almost made him do. He buried his face in Rachel’s chest and cried, he cried for a good forty minutes, still not relenting. He couldn’t believe everything his parents put him through, how badly they scarred him.
Rachel twisted her fingers in the Aburame’s hair. She sang soothing songs and rubbed his back. The Thad she had been acquainted too was small and innocent. This Thad was far into the dark. Where was his shy smile? The way he blushed whenever Rachel mentioned Kurt from Schuester’s team? Where were his warm brown eyes? She rubbed a thumb across his cheek for a few seconds before speaking.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She really hoped he did, she couldn’t help him if she didn’t know what was going on.
“It’s a long story, built up over many years,” it seemed like that was gonna be it, but then Thad spoke again, “my mother told me nobody would ever love me.”
Rachel’s eyes went wide and her head snapped up at that. How could his mother say that? Thad was one of the sweetest, most amazing people Rachel ever met, she loved Finn to death, and will till the end of time, but she loved Thad with all her heart too. When she thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did.
“And then she told me,” Thad started bawling again, this was a sight Rachel never wanted to see as long as she lived. His usual smile was curled up into a frown, teeth clenched as tears streamed down his face. His nose and cheeks were red and his eyes were almost black.
“What?” Rachel rubbed his back softer, more motherly; sense she knew he obviously didn’t have one.
“She told me to kill myself, so I tried.” He motioned to the headband and kunai.
“Thad we all love you, please don’t, even if your parents never to your teammates and fellow Leaf ninja will. You’re so talented too, your Justu are more effective than my own. And if that doesn’t matter we all know how you acted around Kurt the other night.”
Thad froze, he knew exactly what she was talking about, he was the reason he wouldn’t date any of the women his mother threw at him.
Thad was still crying but his eyes shone brightly, brighter than the summer sun that hung above them.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”