It was 3 a.m. when he came back. Sebastian was waiting for him. He called him at least twenty times but Kurt turned off his phone.

“You’re not asleep.” It was more confirmation than question.

Sebastian nodded.

“I was waiting for you. I was afraid that something happened to you.” Sebastian had red eyes that told Kurt he had been crying long enough to stain them that color.

“I’m fine. Had to think over some things.”

Sebastian nodded.

Kurt took his jacket off and hung it on the rack before walking over to Sebastian who spoke in a hurry without looking at him.

“Kurt I want to apologize to you. I… I shouldn’t be… I’m sorry.”

“Sebastian…” Kurt seated himself next to him, and put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry Kurt…” Sebastian was crying again. “I didn’t mean to be like this. I know that it is hard for you, but I… I miss us so much. I lost you. I didn’t know if you’d ever wake up and when you finally did you didn’t recognize me and… and you don’t believe me and… I feel like you hate me…”

“Sebastian I don’t hate you. Understood? Calm down.” Kurt put his other hand on Sebastian’s side and pulled him close to his chest. “I am just afraid. I feel lost. I am scared that you expect something from me that I can’t give it to you.” Sebastian raised his chin and looked in Kurt’s eyes, putting his hand to Kurt’s cheek.

“I want you to trust me again.” Sebastian said. “I don’t expect you to suddenly get your memories back. I just want you to let me a little closer to you.” He reduced the space between them. “I don’t want to feel like I am complete stranger to you.” Their lips were just a few inches away. “I want you to let me in again.” Then their lips met. The kiss was soft and Kurt’s lips were so tender on his. They moved against each other, Sebastian wanting it for so long. Their eyes were closed, but when Kurt realized what they were doing he opened his eyes and pulled away. Sebastian groaned at the loss but he opened his eyes and released Kurt from his grip.

“I’m sorry, I just…” Sebastian wanted to explain himself despite the fact that he wasn’t sorry at all.

“No, don’t.” Kurt shushed him. “We should just go to sleep. It’s late.” Kurt directed as he stood up from the couch.

Sebastian nodded. “Good night Kurt”

Kurt didn’t respond as he walked to his bedroom and closed the door behind himself.

Sebastian stared at the bedroom door, not sure what was waiting for. Hoping Kurt would come back to him. Hoping they would be okay now.

But Kurt didn’t come out of his room. He had been scared him away with the kiss and so Sebastian just got up and headed to the bathroom after realizing that the door wasn’t going to open.

The next day when Kurt woke up it was noon and Sebastian was already out. Kurt made himself a breakfast and coffee. He seated on the couch when he heard his phone ringing.

“Hello.”

“Hey Kurt, it’s Rachel. Do you remember?” the voice on the other side asked.

“It depends. I mean I don’t remember anything more since you were here five days ago.”

“Yeah, right.  Anyway, what are you doing? Are you busy?”

“Well… not exactly. I’m just having breakfast. Why?”

“Breakfast? At 12:30? Okay, how about I’ll come in and we’ll go for a jog around Central Park?”

“Er… I was actually going to search through my things to find some collection I am apparently working on.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I don’t actually know. I just heard that I was working on my own collection of clothes before the accident so I was about to find it…”

“What? Your own collection? And you haven’t told me about it?”

“Well, sorry. I didn’t mean to forget.” He joked.

“Yeah sorry didn’t mean to…”

“Yeah, right.  I got that.”

“So can I come over instead then?  I want to see it.”

“Yeah, sure. Come on over.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Rachel showed up a half hour later, giving him a hug. “Hi! Where is it? I have to see it!”

“Calm down Rachel. I haven’t found it yet.”

 “What? Did you look through your desk? You always hide your designs there.” She told him.

“No, I haven’t yet but thanks. Good to know that you know where I hide my things.” He said, eyebrows raised, hands on his hips.

“I… we are best friends.” She tried to explain herself.

“Yeah right. Maybe I lost my memory but I know I’d never tell you where I hide things I don’t want you to see.” He looked at her challengingly.

“Well… okay fine, I just love your drawings that’s all.”

He smiled at her. “Okay let’s find those designs. I can’t wait to see them.”

They looked in his desk, all the shelves and drawers in the apartment, but didn’t find anything of his designs.   What they did find though were Kurt’s articles from Vogue and ELLE, reviews from his shows and pictures of his performances. Which made Kurt proud of himself but then…

They found a lot of him and Sebastian. The pictures from wedding, the articles about how great couple they were, some romantic letters (Apparently Sebastian was the only one around who still wrote love letters), a marriage certificate, bills, an adoption case file (it had to be from Sebastian’s work), and wedding documents. Kurt wanted to vomit. He couldn’t listen to or read about how much he apparently loved Sebastian. Last night was too much for him. And now? Stupid love letters, sweet words, magazines ranking them as the sweetest couple, the most beautiful, the most wonderful wedding…  Kurt got sick from just looking at the photographs.

After 3 hours they gave up on searching.

“Okay. I have no idea where you put it.”

“Me neither.” Kurt said, sitting on the living room floor beside one another.

“You were sure you started it?”

“Mia said that I did.”

“Mia came back from Europe?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you asked Sebastian about the designs?”

“No.”

“You guys okay?”

Kurt looked at her, eyebrows raised. “Yeah… want a drink?” He asked and stood up from the floor, not wanting to talk about it.

“Yes, please.”

He brought them each a cup of juice and sat beck next to Rachel.

“Kurt…”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?” She asked shyly.

He looked at her, wondering what her question could be, and if he would even want to answer it.  He had a feeling it was about Sebastian, but he couldn’t know unless he gave her permission.

“Yeah.”

“Do you and Sebastian… I mean is everything …ah… you know… between you two.” She was afraid that he would get angry talking about Sebastian given how despondent he was looking through what they had found earlier.

“Yeah, we’re getting better I think.” He forced a smiled, using what acting skills he had.

“Good. I’m glad.” She said cheerfully. She moved closer to him and started talking about their old times in high school. Kurt was glad that he convinced her and that she dropped the subject.

Around 5 o’clock, Rachel left. Kurt made some dinner and waited for Sebastian to come back from work, not in the mood to talk to him but hoping he could find out where his designs were. If he could have the designs, then maybe he’d have something more to do with his time.

At 6 p.m. Sebastian came back home.

“Hey.” he said, looking tired.

“Hey.” Kurt said from the couch.

“Anything interesting happened today?”

“Rachel came over.”

Sebastian nodded. “Did she annoy you?”

“No. We were looking for my drawings. Mia said that I started my own collection, but we haven’t found it anywhere.” Kurt stood up from his seat and walked to kitchen behind Sebastian. “Do you know where they are?”

“Hmm?” Sebastian apparently wasn’t paying attention.

“My drawings. Do you know where I put them?”

“No, sorry. I don't.”  Sebastian took a glass of water and sat by the table. He looked so small, all sleepy and exhausted. “Did you ask Mia?”

“No, I'll call her tomorrow.” Kurt answered. “You look worn out.”

“Yeah, it was hard day at work.”

Kurt nodded. If Sebastian wasn’t interested in talking, he wasn’t going to force him.

“I made some pasta. It's in fridge if you want. I'll leave you.”

“No! Kurt, wait…” Sebastian wanted him to stay, reaching for his hand but Kurt was already out of the kitchen area.

“No. You should get some rest. I'm going to have a shower.” 

When Kurt finished his shower he laid down on the bed but couldn’t sleep. He was wondering what he’d do now. Go to Broadway? Spend more time with Sebastian and learn how to love him again? Look through all photos and videos of the last ten years?  It all seemed ridiculous. No, he couldn’t do any of it - especially falling in love with Sebastian. Why was everybody expecting it from him? Kurt knew one thing for sure - he couldn't sit in this apartment any longer. He would have to call Mia and find those drawings. Maybe he would remember something. At least he would have something to do. He took his iPod (he actually didn’t know if it was his or Sebastian’s) and pressed play. A familiar sound of Katy Perry song began and when the lyrics came to:

You think I'm pretty
without any make-up on

His thoughts drifted to a curly haired boy.  By the time the song ended, he was asleep.

The next day Kurt woke up and found Sebastian drinking coffee in the kitchen.

“Hey.” Kurt yawned.

“Good morning.” Sebastian greeted him. “Want some coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Kurt sat on a chair while Sebastian made him his drink.

“You look tired.” Kurt said. He had to learn how to live with Sebastian since he has nowhere else to go. Small talk in the morning wouldn’t kill him.

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep. I have a new case and it’s a lot of work. I don’t have time for rest.” Sebastian handed him the mug.

“I don’t think it’s reasonable to go without sleep, but I am not going to tell you that you need sleep. You are an adult after all.” Kurt took his mug and walked to bedroom to take a shower.

When he got dressed he pulled out his phone and chose Mia’s number.

“Hello.” He heard her cheerful voice.

“Hi Mia, it’s Kurt.”

“Hey. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Just have a question.”

“Okay. Spill it.”

“I… You remember when you said that I started my own collection, right?”

“Yes of course. What about it?” She asked, afraid that something had happened to it.

“Do you… do you know where I put those drawings? I looked through all apartment and I haven’t found any.”

“Yeah, sure. You hide it in your wardrobe in the Broadway Theater. You didn’t want anybody to find it because you wanted it to be a surprise, even for Sebastian.” She laughed lightly.

“Well it’s not anymore.” Kurt laughed as well. ”Rachel and Sebastian already know.”

“Ha. Okay Kurt, I really want to talk to you but I’m kind of busy so…”

“Yeah, sure. I won’t disturb you. Thanks for help and bye”

“Bye Kurt.”

Okay, so now he just had to go to his wardrobe in theatre. Yeah, right, piece of cake.

Kurt put on his jacket, grabbed his bag, and walked out of the apartment. He took a cab and headed to the Broadway.

When he arrived through the doors, a fat, tall man looked at him and smiled.

“Welcome back Mr. Smythe-Hummel. Miss Robinson told me about your accident. I know you don’t remember me. I’m Stephen Thomson. I’m a security worker.” He was staring at Kurt with his huge brown eyes waiting for him to say something.

“Amm… Hey.” Kurt pulled his hand for the man to shake. The man took it both of his own hands and shook it vigorously.

“I’m glad you came back Mr. Hummel.”

“Yeah… I just came to grab something from my wardrobe…”

  “Of course, I’ll show you the way.”

“Thank you.” Kurt said and followed the man. As he walked down the hallway many people stopped to greet him and said that they couldn’t wait to see him in the new show. When they reached his wardrobe door Kurt saw the gold frame with black letters saying Kurt Smythe-Hummel.

Kurt looked at the door, disbelief swelling over him that he truly did have his own wardrobe and that so many people knew who he was.

“I’ll be in my office. Please push one on the phone if you need me.”  Stephen smiled and walked away.

Kurt opened the door with the key Stephen gave him and walked in.  It was amazing.  The room was full of Tony Awards, Drama Desk Awards, and many others. There were a lot of photos of him on his opening nights, with other actors and producers, but on the mirror was a black and white picture of him and Sebastian both looking at each other lovingly. Kurt couldn’t look at it.  It was beautiful but too foreign. He took a while to look at all the other photos and costumes waiting for him to wear. Then he recalled why he was there in the first place and walked over to the chest standing in the corner.  He rifled through the contents, eventually discovering a briefcase labeled with my first, own collection. Opening it he saw his drawings of suits, dresses, coats, scarves, and all. It was beautiful. The designs were elegant, extravagant, fancy, yet simple and minimalist. It was an amazing collection and all his. It wasn’t finished yet of course. It looked like he’d had many ideas he was still developing and he doesn’t know which one to pick to continue working on first. After two hours there was knock to the door and Stephen came in.

“Is everything okay? You’ve been here a while now.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, great actually. I found what I was looking for. I just couldn’t wait to look at it at home and I just forgot about a time but I’m leaving in a minute.”

“You can stay as long as you want I just thought that something happened but…”

“No everything is great.” Kurt smiled to him. He stood up, took the designs, and walked out of the room after saying goodbye to Stephen.

Then Kurt was walking down the streets of New York towards his favorite coffee shop.  Except, Kurt didn’t even realize it was his favorite coffee shop.  At least not yet.