CHAPTER 1

It wasn’t that they had to get married. They were both under 18, after all, so the obligation didn’t apply to them yet. But it would, soon enough – mere months and they would both be adults, with all the inevitable consequences of the status. And since Kurt and Blaine had been best friends for the last two years, the topic had to surface one day, during a (very public, of course) coffee date. It was innocent at first, a little teasing, some hopes and expectations exchanged in hushed voices over forgotten cups of coffee getting cold on their usual table. They both knew, of course, that these were mostly dreams and the reality would probably be much harsher, since neither of them had a boyfriend or anyone even close to one. They’d never had. Still, it was nice to believe, even just for a moment, that somewhere before they became “available”, two princes on white steeds would come out of nowhere to sweep them off their feet and love them forever. It was all they could do; dream.

Because reality was so much less appealing. The Decree that had been in place for decades now stated that in order to avoid the “unfortunate tendency of homosexuals to live an unhealthy, sexually promiscuous lifestyle”, the law would give them what they’d fought so long for: the right to get married. With one small hitch. Every gay person, man or woman, would have a fully free choice of a partner – until they turned 18. They could get married as early as 16, but the act was irreversible; until one of the partners died or the marriage was annulled for one of a handful of reasons, there was no way to back off from the vows. The couple was legally bound to live together, and both partners were forbidden to enter any kind of “improper” relationships with other people. Pre-marital and extra-marital sex was considered a crime against the social order and punished most strictly – and not just for homosexuals; this part of the law was the same for every citizen.

So everything seemed quite good, right? Wrong. Because after a gay girl or boy turned eighteen, they were considered adults and became “available” – unless they were already married, of course. Which meant, in practice, that if anyone made a “bid” for them, they were legally obligated to marry that person. Bidding didn’t involve money; the first person to formally apply to claim an “available” person as theirs was granted permission to marry them. There were certain restrictions set in place after the mess that had been the first years after the Decree had come to life – slavery, incest and taking teenagers as sex toys, to name a few – so now the bidding was restricted to similar age groups and the bids were checked carefully before being authorized, but the fact remained that it was basically forced marriage. Of course, it may have served the social order, but the reality of such unions was sad. There were miraculous exceptions, certainly, but usually the bidding led to lifelong relationships where at least one, and often both partners were unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives.

Therefore, every teenager who was officially registered as gay – a result of series of character, personality and sexuality tests conducted obligatorily at age 11 – had one common dream: find their One True Love before they turned 18. Sometimes it happened. Often it didn’t. Kurt and Blaine didn’t have such luck.

They came back to the topic, sometimes, after that initial conversation – just casual mentions in passing, nothing too deep. The weeks were crawling by, every day bringing them closer to the two dreaded dates, not even a month apart, and slowly even Blaine’s natural cheerful disposition started to waver. He hated the looks men kept giving him in public places even more often lately – openly checking him out, with an obligatory glance to his left hand, where the rainbow tattoo around his ring finger marked him as gay and, since it wasn’t hidden under a wedding band, free to marry. He could see the lecherous grins on some faces and he felt nauseous just thinking about these strangers as potential bidders once his April birthday came and went.

Blaine didn’t consider himself classically handsome or even particularly attractive, but he tended to get people’s attention for some reason. Which could be really nice if he attracted boys who might be interesting for him too. Like maybe Jeremiah, from the GAP store. Or Paul, the barista at their favorite coffee shop. But no, of course not. They were always men in their mid-to-late twenties, and since all the interesting guys were always swept off the market within weeks, if not days after they turned 18, all the single men over twenty were seriously defective in one way or another. Not to mention, sex-crazed. The way Blaine’s imagination played with the idea almost every night lately was slowly turning him into a nervous wreck.

Which was probably the reason why one day, while doing their homework in a library with Kurt, Blaine just muttered in frustration, not even raising his head from his Social Studies book.

“Maybe we should just get married to each other.”

It was only when Kurt stared at him in disbelief that Blaine realized what he just said. Maybe they should… what? No, wait, actually… a flash of hope ran through Blaine’s mind.

“Kurt, seriously, but it could work, don’t you think? We’re best friends, we fit together, spending our lives in a relationship with each other wouldn’t be that bad, would it?”

Kurt shook his head.

“But what about love?”

Oh. Right. Blaine sometimes forgot that Kurt was an even bigger romantic than he was.

“Well, you’re my best friend, of course I love you.”

“Blaine. I love you too, but you know what I mean. What about first love, all the romance, handholding, first kisses and shy confessions-“

“Kurt, do you really believe you’ll find that in the next two months? Or that some random guy who wins you in a bid will suddenly turn out to be your big love? Besides, I can give you all the handholding you’ll ever want.”

Kurt just shook his head stubbornly and went back to his homework. Blaine sighed. It would be perfect, actually, now that he thought about it. They were really close, had the kind of friendship that didn’t happen often and Blaine knew he could trust Kurt with his life without the slightest hesitation. They’d been through a lot together, supported each other through family problems and bullying, health issues and everyday stuff. Not to mention, they were attracted to each other – he knew, they’d talked about it once.

Blaine couldn’t imagine his life without Kurt in it. And like a punch to the gut, he just realized that it would probably be his life in just over a month. Because as soon as he got married, close friendship with another man would be out of the question. His husband would have to be enough for his everything. With a new sinking feeling, Blaine looked at Kurt, wondering just how much time they had before their friendship would have to end.

Over the next two weeks Blaine was nothing if not persistent. He was absolutely certain by then that this was what they should do, the perfect solution. Damn, if he was honest, it was the only solution he wanted. The longer he thought about it, the less convinced he was that what he felt towards Kurt could be described by the definition of friendship alone. Was the feeling of being somehow incomplete without the other person by your side normal in all friendships? Blaine didn’t know, he’d never had such a close friend before. What about the quiet, warm contentment he felt every time he saw Kurt or even heard his voice; that affection that made him smile no matter how bad a day he was having? The way Kurt seemed to be on Blaine’s mind constantly, somewhere in the background at least? And the attraction? Oh, the attraction…

Blaine had always considered Kurt to be one of the most attractive boys he’d ever met. Not in a conventional way, but there was something breathtaking in the graceful elegance of his movements, the pale elfin beauty of his face, his eyes that seemed to change color with every emotion they reflected so perfectly. But he’d never put much thought into it before, somehow. They were friends, and somehow having Kurt as a friend satisfied every need that otherwise might have pushed Blaine into looking for a boyfriend. Well, almost every need.

He hadn’t thought about Kurt sexually. Somehow, it never even occurred to him in the heated moments in the darkness of his room when everyone was asleep and he could jerk off quietly while imagining some faceless but undoubtedly gorgeous man doing things to him. Kurt was his friend – it would be breaking his confidence, somehow, to ever imagine him like this. But after that conversation in the library, Blaine did. Just once, he told himself, just to test his reaction.

He came harder than he ever had before, just from imagining Kurt naked, his full pink lips on his own.

Oh, wow.

The sad part was that it didn’t change anything. Kurt didn’t want to hear about them getting married, no matter how reasonable Blaine’s arguments were. Finally, after another try, Kurt just exploded.

“Blaine, I can’t! I know we won’t be able to be close anymore and I can’t even imagine how hard it will be. But it would kill me if we got married and after some time started to hate each other. Because that’s what happens half the time, if not more, in these relationships. And I think I can survive seeing you only rarely and always among other people if I’m sure that in our hearts we’re still friends and still care. But living by your side all my life and seeing how our friendship transforms into resentment and hate? I can’t do that. I’m sorry. I’d rather hate some random stranger.”

This was when Blaine stopped trying to convince him. Because while he was certain it wouldn’t happen, he understood Kurt’s reasons.

Blaine was worried. Not that it was something new – it was April already and there wasn’t a moment he didn’t dread what was coming. But this particular worry had a different reason. Kurt wasn’t at school today and even Finn, his step-brother, didn’t know why he decided – and was allowed to – stay home. He just told Blaine that when he saw Kurt in the morning, talking quietly to his dad in the kitchen, he looked like he had been crying a lot. He hadn’t been answering his phone all day, either. In fact, Blaine had had no contact with him whatsoever since last afternoon, when he’d glimpsed Kurt running to his car after his last class, visibly distressed. Blaine had called after him, but Kurt either hadn’t heard him, or pretended not to.

And now he was absent from school and had been crying. Something was clearly wrong, and Blaine was going crazy not knowing what was going on. It just wasn’t like Kurt to skip school, especially now, the last week before Blaine’s 18th birthday, when every moment spent together was so precious. And Blaine couldn’t even leave Glee practice to go check on him, not when he knew his friend was probably home alone, both of his parents working. The law strictly forbade unmarried people of opposite sex – and in the case of homosexuals, the same sex – to spend time alone, without supervision. If Blaine went to Kurt’s house now and someone reported it, they would both be in deep trouble. He had to wait until Glee ended to be able to go home with Finn, but every minute of waiting was torture.

They were in the middle of discussing their set list for the final, national level of the Glee club competition they had qualified for – and Blaine had no idea what they were trying to choose between, preoccupied with his worries – when the door to the choir room opened. Everyone looked up and Blaine gasped. Right there, in the doorway, stood Kurt. He was paler than usual and looked tired, but other than that, there was no sign of anything unusual happening to him. But then again, Kurt was an expert when it came to make-up, which he’d proven many times, helping the girls with theirs. If he didn’t want distress to show on his face, he made sure it didn’t, just like that. Relief flooded Blaine as he looked at Kurt standing there in his unusually simple, completely white attire. Now at least they’d be able to talk, even if he’d have to make his friend to spill his troubles.

Everyone fell silent as Kurt finally moved from the door and approached his usual seat in the front row of chairs, by Blaine’s side. But it wasn’t until he stood before Blaine, and then slowly dropped to one knee, looking into his eyes seriously, intently, that he understood what was happening. The traditionally white outfit, the flowers that Kurt just took from behind his back, the public setting to have witnesses, as required by law – was he really…?

“Blaine Anderson, will you marry me?”

Blaine’s answer was immediate, as if any second of waiting was a risk Kurt would change his mind.

“Yes. Yes, Kurt Hummel, I will marry you.”

Even in the chaos of cheers and congratulations that ensued, Blaine could clearly see the quiet sadness that tinted Kurt’s eyes steel blue.

“What made you change your mind?”

They were sitting in the coffee house again, waiting for their parents to come back from work so that they could go tell them the news. Of course, Kurt’s dad already knew he would propose today, but now that their engagement was official, their families needed to meet to discuss all the details of the ceremony. And since Blaine’s birthday was in four days, they had to do it fast. Kurt had already texted his dad with confirmation, so the plan was to wait until 6 pm, when Blaine’s parents would be home, and then he would go to tell them and bring them back to Kurt’s house. So now they were just sitting here, killing time, sudden awkwardness between them almost palpable.

Kurt raised his head at Blaine’s question, his eyes still so very sad, and hesitated a little before answering.

“Karofsky.”

“What?” Whatever answer Blaine expected, it wasn’t that.

“You asked what made me change my mind. It was Karofsky.”

“Oh. Okay? I think? But what does your number one enemy have to do with us? Are we talking about the same Karofsky? The local bad boy? The guy who’s been bullying you for the last three years and landed you in a hospital last year?”

“One and the same. Yesterday, after classes, he stopped me and told me… He told me he wants to marry me.”

Blaine felt his jaw drop.

“He what?!”

“Oh, not in so many words. It was more along the lines of Hummel, I’m gonna nail your pretty ass anyway, my dad has the bid ready and waiting, so why don’t we just get this over with now and go right to the good part where I fuck you so bad you’ll need pillows to sit for weeks.” 

“Oh my god.” Damn, it hurt – being accepted only because the alternative was so horrid, but it wasn’t time for thinking about himself. “But… I’m sure he was only saying that. Maybe that’s his new way of bullying you, now that he needs to watch his ass better if he doesn’t want to get expelled?”

“No, he meant it, I could tell. I checked in the Ministry database, his birthday is just a day before mine. And you know what kind of influences his father has. If he really made the bid, he would win it, no matter what.”

Kurt sniffed quietly, but his face remained forcefully impassive. Blaine could see how bad it had hit him, and it broke his heart to see him suffer so. But his own hurt was burning viciously in his throat.

“So you’d rather suffer being with me than with him, I understand. At least you can be sure I won’t hurt you.” Damn, he didn’t mean it so cuttingly. Or maybe he did.

Kurt shook his head furiously and reached to take Blaine’s hand on the table, his eyes wet and pleading now.

“No, please, don’t say it like that, Blaine. It’s not like that. It’s just… choosing between living a nightmare every day or getting something precious and beautiful and one of a kind, knowing that it will get marred and ultimately destroyed by carelessness, wear and tear, and everyday use. And I wanted to protect this, us, more than anything, even if doing so meant seeing you only from afar and not being able to touch. But I’m too weak to consciously choose the nightmare, Blaine. I just… I can’t, when I know what my life would be like with him. I’m so sorry.”

Oh. Now Blaine understood. He squeezed Kurt’s hand reassuringly.

“Let’s just take what we have and do whatever we can to protect it, together, all right? Who said it will be destroyed? Maybe we will add to it, instead? Make it even more precious? If anyone can do this, we can, Kurt. Trust me.”

Kurt’s nod was hesitant and his smile small and trembling, but at least it was something.

The next two days were a flurry of activity so intense that it all felt surreal. Blaine had no chance to meet his fiancé at all during that time, but for once, he didn’t mind at all. It gave him time to think and plan. Because even if he did his best to soothe Kurt’s fears about the future of their friendship, Blaine had to quietly admit that he understood his concerns. It was true that once they were bound in marriage and lived together, it would be much easier to let things slide little by little and screw their whole relationship up. He knew it happened all the time, everywhere, and while they started from a much better place than many other gay couples, it didn’t guarantee anything.

They were very different in some respects and Blaine suspected that the small, everyday things may become a source of dissonance if they weren’t careful. Their expectations were probably quite different too. Kurt was already anxious and hesitant, even before they made their vows. In any other circumstances, it would be enough to say that they should wait, think it over again. As it was, however, they didn’t have the luxury of time or doubt. They were doing this, getting bound to each other forever, and it scared Blaine how thin the ice was that they would be walking, how easily Kurt’s disappointment could give way to resentment. He couldn’t let that happen. Because Blaine was pretty sure that he was head over heels in love with his future husband and intended to do anything to give him whatever he needed to be happy. And when Blaine Anderson really wanted something, he did everything he could to make it happen.

The ceremony took place on the third day after Kurt’s proposal. Blaine had witnessed one once, last year, when his cousin got married, so he knew that it wasn’t designed to be beautiful or joyous; just a formality to be taken care of. The courthouse was dark and depressing, the wedding chamber seemed to reverberate with the sound of a hundred broken hopes, and the magistrate that married his cousin and her bidder had been grumpy and short-tempered. It had all looked like a sad parody of a wedding. But Kurt didn’t know what to expect, so it would probably come as a shock to him, especially considering his romantic dreams. Blaine couldn’t do much to change the feel of the ceremony itself, so he would just have to do what he could to make Kurt feel better. And he had a surprise for him afterwards. Or rather, a couple of them.

Kurt looked perfect, though pale and anxious when they met in front of the majestic old building early Monday afternoon, accompanied by no one but their families. The weather was kind to them, April sun making all the fresh leaves on trees and shrubs even more vividly green and full of life, but Blaine could see that it did nothing to alleviate Kurt’s worries. He almost felt bad for feeling so happy himself. Knowing how close he’d been to standing right here, maybe a couple of days later, with a complete stranger who just won him in a bid made today feel like a miracle; joy and relief thrumming in his blood ever since he woke up that morning.

Blaine came up to his fiancé and hugged him, whispering in his ear.

“Kurt, I’m so glad it’s you I’m starting this journey with. I promise I will do anything to make this marriage work and to make you happy.”

He felt Kurt stiffen briefly at the word marriage, but then he relaxed into Blaine’s embrace. There was a small smile on Kurt’s lips when they parted, and he took Blaine’s hand.

“Okay, let’s do it.”