#2

“Don't tell me what?” Blaine asked.

"That this ice-cream isnt really vegan at all."

"That Im in love with you."

They spoke at the same time, and clearly the shock of being overheard and pressed to come up with a quick answer influenced them very differently.

Shit.

Blaines honey-warm eyes widened and he froze for a moment, looking between his sister and his oldest friend. His mouth opened but no sound came out so he shut it with a click. Then he blinked and it was like the last minute didn't happen. Clearing his throat, he turned to Rachel and took the tub of ice-cream out of her hand.

"What are you talking about, of course its vegan, Ive read the label three times. Quinn couldnt stomach dairy for a few weeks and this is the only type that didnt make her puke. Cant you read, you goose? Besides, I saw the same brand in your apartment. Youre both drunk, lay off the wine and lets go finish with the planning."

When Blaine finally looked at Kurt, his face was carefully controlled, neutral, his smile wide and toothy and completely fake. Kurt inhaled sharply.

"Um, actually, I have to run. I think I left the iron on and the front door open and– I have to go. Im sorry, youll do fine without me, Im so sorry, Ill call you, bye."

He was out the door before he was done talking. And if he sped just a little on his way home, no one could blame him. Considering the iron and all.

*

May 8, 2017

Blaine found him the next evening, scant hours before Kurts flight back to New York. He didnt bother calling, just came over and knocked on the door. Kurt would have shut it as soon as he saw Blaines earnest, stupidly handsome face if there wasnt already a foot put in conveniently to prevent it.

"Please talk to me."

Kurt sighed and briefly considered hiding in his old room and barricading the door, but eventually he stepped out to the porch. He sat down on the top step, as ready as he would ever be to take whatever came. Blaine settled next to him, too close in the tight space.

"Im sorry I freaked out last night," he said.

Kurt shrugged, never looking up from his feet. "I'm sorry I made you freak out. Rachel was right, I shouldnt have told you."

Blaine didnt hurry to deny it and for a moment there was silence between them, tense with unspoken words.  Then Blaine cleared his throat.

"Kurt... why did you tell me? Why now? It can't be a new thing, not when we've hardly seen each other in six months."

Kurt stared at him. "Rachel didnt tell you?"

"She let out a very colorful string of curse words when you left, but then she refused to talk about anything but the wedding for the rest of the night. She told me to ask you if I really wanted to know. So... here I am."

Kurt shook his head. He'd avoided Rachels calls all day, all too aware that she would probably eviscerate him verbally for not only confessing, but leaving her alone for the aftermath. But he assumed shed filled Blaine in, and he would never have to talk about it again.

Well, he should have known better. It was Rachel, after all.

He sighed. "Its... not new. Ive had a crush on you since senior year."

"Of college?"

"Of high school."

Blaines eyebrows shot up. "But thats–"

"A really long time, yes. I know. Im sorry, I should have just kept my mouth shut." Kurt couldn't take his eyes away from the tuft of grass by the porch steps.

"But why didnt you say anything earlier?" There was something in Blaines voice – something more than incredulity.

Kurt looked up at him. "Because youre straight, duh."

"Yeah, about as straight as my sister." Blaine rolled his eyes and Kurts breath stuttered to a stop.

"...what?" he choked out.

Blaine frowned. "What? You know she sleeps with girls just as often as guys. You even mentioned her girlfriend once–"

"No, I mean... you?" Kurt managed and Blaine shrugged.

"Its girls for me most of the time. But Ive been with a few guys over the years. In fact, um..." Blaine paused, biting his lip. "You were the first one to make me realize that Im attracted to boys, too. Back in high school, before you officially came out." He chuckled softly. "Remember my Big Unnamed Crush of 2010?"

Kurts eyes went wide. Air seemed too thin to breathe properly. "You mean–"

"You, yes. I never said anything because Rachel was madly in love with you  back then and it would have been mean of me when I knew she had no chance. Not to mention, it would have ruined our friendship, and I couldnt imagine the three of us not hanging out constantly."

Kurt was shaking his head with a frown. "No, you have it wrong. Rachel? In love with me? She must have been kidding you."

Blaine let out a short burst of laughter. "Sure, and all those hearts with your name all over her diary were part of the joke. Not to mention all the evenings she spent crying because you wouldnt look at her that way. No, it was real. She got over it halfway through college, and I even considered asking you out at last. But you were always dating someone, and then there was that Dean guy that I hated..." Kurt winced. Dean wasnt his fondest memory, now that he looked back with proper perspective. "And then we graduated and I moved back here, so you were completely out of reach, and I convinced myself that it was the way it was supposed to be. Us only ever being friends." Blaines voice changed now, quiet and lower, and he cleared his throat. "And now you're telling me that all along, you've been in love with me? Its... fuck, its rough, Kurt."

Kurt hung his head, his eyes stinging. "Im sorry."

"I just... I wish youd have told me earlier. I would have loved to date you. To try and be together. But... Kurt, its too late now. Im going to be a father. And a husband. And I intend to be the best one I can be, so..." He reached out, his hand hovering over Kurts for a second before he took it and squeezed. His touch burned as much as his words did. "Im sorry."

Kurt curled in on himself, trying with all his might to hold in the tears. He was failing miserably, and he failed completely when Blaine turned to hug him. A tiny sob tore out of his throat and he pressed into the familiar embrace just for a heartbeat before pulling away.

"Thank you for telling me. And Im sorry. Could you... would it be very rude if I asked you to go now? I need to be alone for a bit."

Blaine nodded, a look of utter helplessness on his face. His eyes were soft and sad when he got up.

"Of course. I'm so sorry, Kurt.” He hesitated, then asked, “Will you still come to the wedding? Your presence would mean a world to me, but I understand if you cant."

Kurt shook his head. "Of course Ill be there. We swore, remember?” He managed to find a small smile as he saw recognition flash in Blaine's eyes, an old memory resurfacing.

When they were 12 (11 in Rachel's case), and friends for half of that, the three of them had made a sacred pledge that no matter what, no matter where they were at the time and if they were still close at all, they would drop everything and come to each other's weddings. Rachel wanted to seal it with blood, but none of them could actually go ahead and cut themselves with the dull pocket knife she'd found, so their thumbprints on the document were in raspberry juice instead. Kurt still had the yellowed sheet of drawing paper in the box with his most prized memorabilia.

The fondness on Blaine's face was tinged with unbearable sadness as he said, “I know, but I don't want it to hurt you. I've never wanted to hurt you, Kurt.”

More tears threatening, Kurt got up from the stairs. “Ill be fine, I just need some time. Goodbye, Blaine."

"Goodbye, Kurt. Take care."

--- 

CHAPTER ART by headbandxbowties

The sacred pledge

Why now?