Dec. 17, 2012, 3:30 p.m.
Etched Into My Skin: Chapter 25
E - Words: 7,287 - Last Updated: Dec 17, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Dec 10, 2012 - Updated: Dec 17, 2012 144 0 0 0 0
CHAPTER 25
The morning Kurt had made love to him for the first time, when Blaine was lying on his bed perfectly happy and blissfully unaware of what the next few hours would bring, he had imagined the weeks to come as a haze of naked bodies and taking advantage of every hour alone to practice what they’d just learned.
Well, he wasn’t wrong about the naked part.
A week had passed and he’d been bare under Kurt’s hands every single day. Too bad his galloping heart had nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with what Kurt might find there one day, written on his skin: Another boy’s name.
And yet he stood there naked so that every inch of his skin was accessible for scrutiny, tense and trembling as Kurt sighed and complied with his request, running his eyes and hands all over Blaine’s body in what had quickly become a daily routine.
Day and night, Blaine couldn’t get the thought out of his head. Every itch or twinge anywhere on his body sent him into a spiral, making him claw at his skin and run to the nearest mirror. He couldn’t sleep. He was barely able to function, and he kept anxiety meds in his pocket at all times. It hadn’t been this bad since the first months after Sadie Hawkins.
He couldn’t be Sebastian’s soulmate. He didn’t want to be, the mere thought made him shudder. Didn’t it matter? Would it change if he did get that second mark? Would his resistance melt away as soon as the words Sebastian Smythe appeared on his body? Even imagined, they felt wrong, like a malignant growth.
But they had remained imagined so far. Every time Kurt examined his skin, it ended with Blaine releasing the bated breath: the sentence had been postponed. There was still hope. Blaine would hold onto it with everything he had.
He knew it affected Kurt, too. He heard it in Kurt’s voice every time he called to soothe Blaine through a panic attack, having felt it even through the distance between their houses. He didn’t miss the angry set of Kurt’s jaw whenever Sebastian called or texted Blaine – which he did several times a day, during classes and in the middle of the night, claiming he couldn’t stop himself because of his mark. Still, Kurt remained unshaken in his certainty that this whole situation wasn’t a threat to them, and Blaine was infinitely grateful for this source of strength.
He didn’t know what he would do without Kurt there.
Though he had to wonder, in the rare moments when his anxiety wasn’t driving him out of his mind, where Kurt found all that strength. It wasn’t like Kurt’s life was stress-free either, even without Sebastian in the picture. The elections were approaching and Brittany kept placing higher and higher in the polls. The prospect of NYADA was looming over them, and if Kurt was accepted – a big if at this point – so was their impending separation. Blaine should be helping Kurt through all this, should be his anchor and his support. Instead, he was a mess.
At least Rachel had pulled out of the race during the final debate, urging everyone to give their votes to Kurt instead. It was a nice gesture. Too little, too late if you asked Blaine, but it was something. It lifted a little weight off Kurt’s shoulders. He and Rachel weren’t instant best friends again just because she had conceded, but it was clear that she wanted to be an ally. And Kurt could use allies, now and later in NY.
If only Blaine could do something to de-stress him instead of adding to his trouble. He was biting his tongue to keep the stream of worry in, taking his meds before anxiety could really hit. But most of the time, Kurt was able to read him like an open book.
And when they ran into Sebastian the following week, everything came crashing down.
***
Blaine saw him first, just as they were walking into the Lima Bean, and he stopped awkwardly in the door.
“Um. Maybe we should go get coffee somewhere else,” he said.
“What?” Kurt frowned, trying to pass by him. He needed his caffeine fix, and he needed it now. This day had been hard enough already. “Blaine, we never have coffee anywhere else and I’m not about to– oh.”
Okay, Blaine was right. Anywhere else would be better.
Sebastian was sitting at the table near the door, staring at Blaine with an expression some probably might call dreamy. It was already too late to leave without looking like they were running. And Kurt Hummel would not run. Carefully avoiding looking in Sebastian’s direction, he took Blaine’s hand and led him to the counter. He could already feel the echo of nerves thrumming through his boyfriend’s mind, and it made him hate Sebastian a little bit more.
They had barely sat down with their drinks, as far away from the door as they could, when a Dalton blazer hovered over their table. When Sebastian grabbed a chair and sat next to Blaine uninvited, Kurt could only curse himself for not planning their seating arrangement better. He was already so angry it felt like he was going to choke, and Sebastian hadn’t even opened his mouth.
“Hi, gorgeous. I had a feeling I would see you today, and here you are, sexy as ever.”
Oh, there it was. The anger bubbled and boiled over when Sebastian laid his hand on Blaine’s, whose eyes grew wide as he jerked it away. Kurt cleared his throat.
“Who invited you? I’d like to have coffee with my boyfriend without my stomach turning.”
Sebastian looked at him as if he honestly hadn’t noticed him.
“Oh. It’s you. You know, I don’t need your permission to see my soulmate. Right, Blaine?”
Kurt swallowed an indignant sound, looking at Blaine for his reaction. But Blaine seemed unsure, painfully torn as he glanced between the two of them.
“I–” He cleared his throat and hid behind his cup of coffee. Sebastian took the opportunity to push on, staring at him lovingly.
“Can you believe I actually dreamed about this a couple of nights ago? Exactly like this, with you coming in wearing this exact shirt, handsome as ever. So I came here today and wow, it’s like a déjà vu. I swear, it’s trippy what this soulmate stuff does to me.”
A slip of fear snaked its way down Kurt’s belly now, clear amongst all the fury.
The dreams.
He remembered them all too well, those first few months he’d had them almost every night – vivid, realistic scenes that never faded from memory when he woke up. Some of them had come to life since, which felt exactly like déjà vu. Some hadn’t.
But they hardly ever happened anymore.
Sebastian was stroking the top of Blaine’s hand with his fingers again, his face unbearably affectionate. Blaine moved his hands into his lap.
“Please don’t touch me.”
Sebastian let out a small chuckle. “I’m sorry, I can’t help myself sometimes. My fingers are itching to touch. I wish you could feel what I feel, Blaine,” he sighed. Then he smiled – a slow, private smile. “You will, as soon as my mark appears.” He leaned closer to Blaine, his stage whisper loud enough for Kurt to hear every word. “Because it will. I’ve seen that in my special dreams, too.”
Blaine gasped and scrambled up so fast, his chair screeched backward over the tiles. “I need some water,” he rasped and stumbled away, leaving Kurt alone with Sebastian.
“I don’t like you,” Kurt said as soon as Blaine was out of earshot, not holding back his signature bitch glare anymore.
Sebastian dropped his lovesick attitude and arched his eyebrows. “Fun. I don’t like you either.”
“I don’t like the way you talk to my boyfriend.”
“Oh, you mean – my soulmate?” Sebastian smirked and leaned closer, setting his forearms on the table between them. The sleeves of his Dalton blazer rode up a little.
Kurt inhaled sharply.
It was one thing to hear about Sebastian’s mark. It was another entirely to see it with his own eyes, clear and obvious between Sebastian’s wrist and his thumb. It was a shade darker than the one on Kurt’s collarbone, but otherwise nearly identical. And it was impossible to miss, the spot so visible no matter what Sebastian did with his hands. He certainly didn’t try to hide it.
Sebastian’s smirk grew into a predatory grin. “Let’s get something straight. Blaine’s too good for you. He’ll be mine by the end of the school year and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“You–”
Before Kurt could find a properly crushing insult, however, he felt a familiar wave of choking panic rushing through him. With a last murderous glance, he grabbed his and Blaine’s bags from the back of their chairs and hurried away from the table. He instinctively knew where to go, his soulmate empathy leading him like a GPS.
He found Blaine in the restroom. Hunched over the counter, Blaine was breathing in fast, shallow gasps, his eyes wild with fear. His hands were shaking so hard that the bottle of his anxiety meds rattled in his grip. Kurt took it from him and opened the resistant lid, shook one little pill out and brought it up.
“Here.”
Blaine fell heavily into his arms as soon as he swallowed the medicine. He was still trembling all over. Kurt held him close, stroking his back in a slow, soothing motion and trying to summon calm feelings to share with him. It still took a few minutes before Blaine’s tense muscles relaxed and his breathing evened out. His eyes were wet when he raised his head from the crook of Kurt’s neck.
“Kurt–”
“He’s just messing with you,” Kurt said, firmly. “He wants you to doubt yourself, and us, so that you’re an easier target for him.”
“But Kurt, the mark? The dreams? You know they’re real. And he said he saw me get his mark.”
Blaine’s breath was starting to speed up again. Kurt took him by the hand and led him out into the fresh cold air.
“I know they’re real,” he said when they were seated on a bench opposite the Lima Bean, Sebastian thankfully nowhere in sight. “It doesn’t mean he’s not lying about what he saw. It sounds like something he would do.”
“But what if–” Blaine started.
“No, honey. I refuse to believe him unless I actually see his name on you. And if I do – well, we will deal with it then.”
Blaine wiggled in his seat. “Speaking of which… could we maybe go to my house? I think I felt something, I need you to check.” He rubbed the small of his back through his clothes, frowning.
Kurt felt a little twinge of fear, like he did every time Blaine was sure a random itch or skin sensitivity was a new mark developing. So far, they had all turned out to be his imagination.
“Of course,” he said, getting up. “Let’s go.”
“Do you still get those dreams?” Blaine asked him as they walked to his front door an hour later.
“No,” Kurt admitted. “Do you?”
Blaine shook his head. “Do you think not seeing glimpses of our future… does it mean we don’t have a future?” He looked as if he’d been bracing himself to ask this question all through the ride home.
Kurt stopped and pulled him into a hug. “No,” he said firmly. “I think the dreams stopped because we have the real thing now. We don’t need them anymore.”
He felt Blaine exhale against Kurt’s throat, where he had his head tucked. “I like this explanation.”
They avoided the Lima Bean after that day. Kurt made sure to provide every possible distraction for the next couple of days – both for Blaine’s and his own sanity. He asked for last-minute help with his campaign – elections were just days away, after all, so they brainstormed ways to attract more voters that didn’t necessarily include bribing them with pixie sticks, the way Brittany had. He decided it was high time to look through Blaine’s closet again and then go shopping for a few additions. In preparation for Sectionals, he had Blaine practice Michael Jackson songs with him one night until his dad complained he was getting a headache. It was a busy couple of days, but at least their minds were firmly off the unwelcome subjects of rogue marks.
On the fourth day, when Blaine was growing restless again and Kurt was running out of ideas, a new distraction presented itself.
Santana returned to school after a two day absence, with her head held even higher than usual and a hint of puffiness around her eyes that even her careful make-up couldn’t hide. But what really turned heads from the moment she crossed the threshold was her right hand, which was firmly intertwined with Brittany’s.
It wasn’t like no one had ever suspected there was something between the two before. You’d have to be blind not to notice the way they looked at each other, the closeness, the casually joined pinkies when they walked in the hallways sometimes. But it had always been gossip, nothing more. Now, as Kurt watched, Santana walked directly to Jacob Ben Israel, who was staring at them in the middle of the hallway. Brittany was smiling happily at her side.
“Where’s your camera monkey?” Santana quipped.
A scrawny sophomore tottered over, already pulling the camera out of his backpack and switching it on, directing its lens at the girls. Santana started speaking as soon as the green light at the top blinked, her words fast and clipped.
“News of the day: yes, I am a lesbian. My new mark makes it very clear. If anyone has a problem with that, they can go stuff it.”
She turned to leave, but Jacob had regained his power of speech by then.
“So is Brittany Pierce your soulmate?”
Santana stilled with her back to him. It was Brittany who turned her head, still with that serene smile, and said, “No. Her soulmate’s name is Danielle. Look.” She smoothed her hand down Santana’s toned thigh, and Kurt followed her gesture along with the camera and everyone within earshot.
There were bold brown letters climbing up the side of Santana’s right thigh and disappearing under her Cheerios skirt. Only the first four were visible – Dani spelled in a nice girly script. Santana caught Britt’s hand before she could move the fabric up to reveal the rest.
“Don’t, babe.” She said softly, turning to the camera again. “Brittany is my girlfriend. I don’t care what my mark says.”
Then she tugged at Brittany’s hand and they walked away. No one tried to stop them.
Kurt waited until after Glee to approach Santana. Everyone else had had their turn by then, with their questions and curiosity and congratulations, so when Kurt called her name before she could walk out of the choir room, she rolled her eyes, and stayed back. The last of the Glee club trickled out, Britt pressing a quick kiss to Santana’s cheek and whispering something in her ear as she left for Cheerios practice.
“So, are you gonna congratulate me on getting my mark or act shocked that I’m still with Brit? I’ve had too much of both, just so you know.” She sighed. Now that she had dropped the smile she’d had plastered to her face all day, she looked like the last few days have taken their toll.
Kurt shook his head. “Neither. I wanted to tell you that I think it was very brave what you did. Coming out.”
Santana shrugged. “It’s not like I could hide it, not without quitting the Cheerios or wearing one of those concealing body stickers they started selling.”
“They make concealing stickers now?” Blaine asked incredulously. He’d just finished packing his things and hopped down to stand with them.
“Sure do. Not everyone wants to flaunt their mark, you know,” she smirked. “But I don’t feel like walking around with a big-ass band-aid all the time. Besides, it was time anyway. I don’t know how long I have left with Britt,” she said quietly. “It would be stupid to waste time hiding.”
Kurt opened his mouth but before he could say anything, Santana shook her head with a determined expression.
“No. Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. I don’t know the girl whose name is on my thigh. She might be the most wonderful person in the world and I may appreciate her one day. But right now, I don’t know her and I feel like I don’t want to meet her at all.”
Blaine hummed comfortingly. “Come here.” He stepped forward and opened his arms, motioning Santana into a hug.
Kurt fully expected her to ignore the gesture, maybe with one of her snappy comments she was famous for, but she just looked at Blaine for a few seconds, surprised, and then shrugged and stepped into his embrace. She let herself be held for a moment, her breathing tremulous. Her eyes were dry but sad when she finally pulled away.
“I love Brittany,” she said softly. “I’m happy with what we have, even more now that we can finally stop hiding. Does this–” She tapped her marked thigh. “mean that I will stop loving her when I meet my supposed soulmate? Does it mean I will love this Danielle girl more? Because it doesn’t seem possible. It feels like there had been some mistake and I just want to wake up and have Britt’s name there. I was so sure it would be her.”
Kurt couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it had to be for her.
“You know,” he said. “Who knows when you meet your soulmate? It could be years. The fact that you got your mark now doesn’t necessarily mean she’s about to drop into your lap immediately. You can have half a lifetime with Britt before you even meet that girl. And whenever it happens, whatever you feel then, you will work it out. I don’t think there’s a rule saying you have to end up with the person whose name you have if you don’t want it.”
“Well, I’m certainly not going to drop everything, put my life on hold and just wait like Berry did.” Santana sighed and looked between them, her eyes melancholy. “You two are so lucky. I get nauseated looking at you together sometimes, but you make it look like the whole soulmate thing is worth it.”
Blaine smiled. “So worth it.”
“Yes it is,” Kurt whispered.
“Kurt, do you really believe what you said?” Blaine asked as they walked to their cars after saying goodbye to Santana.
Kurt hummed inquiringly. “Which part?”
“That you don’t have to end up with the person whose mark you have?”
“Of course. It’s not like the marks erase free will, is it?” Kurt said, and then frowned. “Why? You’re not questioning us being together, are you?”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “No! No Kurt, I just… I was thinking about Sebastian.”
As if he’d been summoned, Sebastian stepped out from between cars, his grin almost predatory.
“Well that’s good to hear, Blaine,” he said, walking up until he was right in front of them. “I was wondering if you’d forgotten me when you stopped answering my texts. Did your boyfriend take away your phone along with your balls?”
Kurt could feel Blaine stiffen by his side and instinctively, he took a tiny step forward, shielding him. He felt a possessive twinge in his chest at the sight of Sebastian’s mark, clearly visible with the way his sleeves were hitched up.
“What are you doing here? You’re not a student, you’re not allowed on the parking lot.”
Sebastian just smirked at him. “Please. Like anyone cares.” He took a step to the side so he could look right at Blaine again without Kurt in the way. “I came because my dream said I would meet you here today after school. And here you are.” His smile for Blaine was different, private, and Kurt felt possessiveness like a beast clawing inside his ribcage.
“That’s not how the dreams work,” he snapped.
“Maybe not for you.” Sebastian looked at him, calm and amused. “Mine are very precise. I guess that means my bond to Blaine is stronger, don’t you think? If you even actually have his mark,” he shrugged dismissively.
Kurt just gaped at him for a moment, stuck between outrage and an overwhelming need to rip open his shirt and show him, something he would never do. He gathered his jacket closer around his chest.
It was Blaine who spoke. “Yes, he does,” he said, his voice strong even as it trembled slightly. “And I have his mark, Sebastian. Not yours. So please stop acting like I owe you something. It makes me uncomfortable.”
Sebastian arched his eyebrow, smiling salaciously. “Oh, but I could make you so comfortable if you let me. We’d have to have some alone time for that, though. What do you say? Or is he keeping you on such a short leash that you can’t even go anywhere alone?”
Kurt sputtered, but Blaine quieted him by taking his hand before answering. “I’m not going anywhere with you because I don’t want to. Just as I don’t want you to call or text me. Is that so hard to understand?”
Sebastian clearly decided to switch tactics, a look of hurt settling on his face now. “But you’re my soulmate!”
There was a moment of silence and Kurt thought that was it, the one argument Blaine wouldn’t be able to resist, not with his need to be whatever people expected of him. But then he spoke, so quietly Sebastian wouldn’t be able to hear if he stood any further away.
“But you’re not mine. So please leave me alone.”
Anger flashed over Sebastian’s features but as soon as it appeared, it was gone. “Fine,” he said, and he sounded genuinely broken. “But I’m not giving up on you. You will get that mark, and we will be together, Blaine. Just wait and see.”
With that, he turned and strode to the opposite end of the parking lot where a red Porsche gleamed in the cold afternoon sun.
Kurt reached his house first. He got out of his car and waited, somewhat anxiously, for Blaine to pull up behind him.
He didn’t know what to expect. Blaine seemed fine, unusually calm when they parted back in the parking lot, but given how he’d reacted to anything related to Sebastian ever since the mark revelation, Kurt half expected him to snap at any moment. He’d driven the short distance making sure he could see Blaine’s car in his rear mirror at all times, waiting for – he didn’t even know what. A meltdown? Any hint of Blaine’s emotions reaching him?
There’d been none.
And now that Blaine got out of his car, he still looked calmly determined, and Kurt hurried to his side, taking his hand.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I am.” Blaine smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’m good, Kurt. Really good. He’s not controlling my life. I won’t let him. I can do this.”
There was fire in Blaine’s eyes, spark and strength, and Kurt smiled, relieved. “There you are.”
“Hey guys, wait up.” There was a slam of a car door and a moment later, Finn joined them on the driveway. “Are you…” he stuttered. “Was that guy harassing you? Do you need any help?” He looked between them, concerned. “Do I need to get the guys and go kick his ass?”
Kurt stared at him. “You heard us talking to him?”
“No, I only saw you from inside the school. But I remember how you looked when you were being bullied, and you kinda looked like that back there and– and it’s my job to protect you, now. You’re my brother, Kurt. And Blaine’s your soulmate. So if anyone is giving you any trouble… I can help.”
He looked so sincere and intent that Kurt reached out and put his hand on his arm for a brief moment.
“It’s okay, Finn. Sebastian is trouble, but I think we can deal with him without violence.” He glanced at Blaine, who nodded briefly. “Thank you.”
Finn nodded, his face still serious. “Okay. But if you do need any help – and I mean you too, Blaine, okay? Just say the word. I’ve got your back.”
With that, he took out his keys and strode to the door. Moments later, Kurt could hear his steps thundering up the stairs.
Barely half an hour had passed, and already Kurt was seriously considering taking Finn up on his offer. This was going too far.
They’d been doing homework , stretched out on his bed side by side, when Blaine’s phone began to ping. Not just once – again and again, in rapid succession. Finally, it got too distracting to ignore and Blaine sat up to fish the device out of his bag. His brow creased as he read through the messages.
“I don’t understand.”
“What?” Kurt asked and sat up too, looking over his shoulder.
“Half of the Warblers have texted me with congratulations, and I don’t know why.” His phone pinged again, this time with a text from Santana.
WTF hobbit? I saw your mark.
Kurt’s heart was speeding up, a staccato of growing apprehension. “Ask her what she meant,” he said urgently.
Blaine sent a single question mark and in a few seconds, his phone lit up with her response: Go on Facebook.
Kurt reached across the bed to pass him his laptop, letting Blaine log into his account. And there it was. Tagged with his name, posted a few minutes ago, a picture of Sebastian’s hand with the mark proudly displayed to the camera.
Kurt saw red. He jumped up from the bed to pace nervously back and forth, his anger too great to contain. “I’m gonna–” he stopped short, a frustrated sound tearing out of his throat. He was not a fan of violence. He didn’t believe it was ever the way to achieve anything. But right now he felt a desperate urge to do something very violent to Sebastian indeed.
Beside him, Blaine gasped and Kurt stopped mid-stride.
“What? What else did that jerk do?”
“Remember that huge new feature Facebook has been teasing lately?” Blaine’s voice sounded choked, barely controlled. “Looks like it’s here. And it is huge.”
Bracing himself, Kurt dropped onto the bed again to see. On the screen, a large pop-up asked: Do you know the name of your soulmate yet? Share what your mark says – find that one special person NOW. Below, the empty text window waited to be filled.
Blaine clicked Not now and the pop-up disappeared, showing Sebastian’s profile underneath. In his About window, bold red letters claimed: Soulmate to Blaine Anderson.
Whatever Kurt was about to do – and he didn’t know what it was yet, but he felt he had to do something or he would burst – he was stopped in his tracks when Blaine whimpered, faint and trembling, “Kurt.”
He took the laptop from Blaine’s shaking hands, setting it carelessly on the floor, and hurried to pull Blaine into his arms, breathing deeply to keep his own emotions in control. But when he spoke, it felt like he was reassuring himself just as much as Blaine.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s just words, just a stupid website. We know what the truth is, people who matter know. It’s enough, Blaine, his words don’t mean anything.”
But while his reassurances worked to turn his own fury into cold determination, it didn’t seem to help Blaine at all. He fell hard and fast, not the usual slide into panic that Kurt was already familiar with, but a mindless, frantic desperation. His eyes were wild, hands in a frenzied movement even while Kurt held him close. As soon as Kurt let go, Blaine started to pull at his own clothes, once again restlessly eager to strip and see, make sure there wasn’t a mark. Kurt felt like screaming.
“Kurt, could you just check–”
“No.” His own voice surprised him, hard and sure. “I’m not going to check for his mark. You don’t have his mark. You know it as well as I do, Blaine. And you told him just an hour ago, remember? You stood up to him, and I was so proud of you. He can’t control you, remember? You’re scared and overwhelmed right now, but you don’t have his mark.”
“But what if–” Blaine flailed. Kurt caught his hands.
“No.”
He really couldn’t do this any longer, he was suddenly so sick of it. No more mark checks, no more thinking about Sebastian while looking over Blaine’s warm smooth skin, naked and trembling for all the wrong reasons. He didn’t want to be selfish, but he had to tell Blaine – show him – what it was doing to them. Blaine’s eyes were filling with tears, his lips trembling, and Kurt hated not giving him what he needed. But he couldn’t do it.
With a quick squeeze of Blaine’s hands, he got up from the bed. “I’ll be back in a minute, I promise.”
Blaine nodded morosely and curled on himself, looking so small and lonely on the edge of the bed that Kurt’s heart ached. Still, he turned away and walked out of the room.
Finn was in the kitchen, fixing himself a sandwich. He looked up when Kurt ran down the stairs.
“Hey, are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mess with anything.”
Kurt shook his head, feeling frantic. “No, it’s alright. It was actually sweet of you. But I have to ask you for a favor.”
“Sure, dude. Anything.”
“Remember our conversation when you were going to have Rachel sleep over that one time and you wanted me to let you two be alone? When we talked about the brothers code?”
“The bro code.” Finn corrected. “Yeah, sure.”
“Okay, I need to call in the bro code now.”
Finn’s eyebrows rose. “You want me to go somewhere so that you can have sex with Blaine?”
Stated like that, it made Kurt blush. “I need to make Blaine feel better. Something happened and… I’ll explain later, okay?” The whole school would probably know by tomorrow anyway. “But the point is, it might involve sex, and I would really be more comfortable if you weren’t just across the hall.”
Finn nodded fervently. “Oh, yeah. Definitely. I’ll go hang out with Puck.” He trotted towards the hall, the sandwich still in his hand. “Just remember Burt will be home after eight.”
“I do. Thank you, Finn. I owe you.”
With one last grateful smile, he ran back up to his room.
Blaine was still sitting on the bed like Kurt left him. He wasn’t shaking anymore, but he looked so miserable that Kurt just wanted to go cuddle him and tell him everything would be alright. But he’d tried that already, again and again. It worked for a moment, but didn’t solve the problem. No, he felt like he had to do something else this time. Something bigger.
The door slammed shut downstairs just as Kurt reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it off quickly, taking his undershirt with it. The pants came off next, underwear kicked off along with his socks, and in less than a minute, Kurt stood naked. Only then did he actually look at Blaine, who was staring at him with his lips parted in surprise and, thankfully, at least a bit of awe.
Kurt crossed the room in two quick strides and leaned down into a kiss before Blaine even managed to get over his shock.
He had a fleeting thought that he should feel self-conscious – naked and not even aroused in front of his fully clothed boyfriend – but he really didn’t. Still kissing, he navigated them so that he was straddling Blaine’s thighs, and soon Blaine’s hands came up around him to settle on his back. When he pulled away a moment later, Blaine’s eyes were wide.
“Look at me,” Kurt said firmly and Blaine swallowed, but didn’t look away from his face.
“I am looking,” he said.
“No, Blaine. Really look at me. Look at my mark. Look at my body. When was the last time you saw me naked?” Blaine’s eyes were roaming obediently down Kurt’s body, but he looked back up, frowning. Kurt laughed bitterly. “It was almost two weeks ago, Blaine. After we spent the night together. After we made love for the first time. You haven’t even thought about getting me out of my clothes since. And you haven’t come once, at least not thinking about me.”
“I’m sorry,” Blaine whispered and tried to hang his head but Kurt lifted his chin back up with a finger.
“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to look at me, touch me, kiss me. I want my boyfriend back. Ever since Sebastian told you about his mark, it’s all you can think about. I don’t know what he’s playing, but he’s clearly winning.”
Blaine’s eyes widened. “No, Kurt, it’s not like that, you know that!”
“I know, and I understand that you’re worried and preoccupied. But can’t you see you’re actually giving him what he wants? You don’t even have his mark and he has all of your attention anyway. Do you know how that hurts?” Blaine’s eyes filled with tears again, but before he could apologize, Kurt shook his head. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just don’t know how else to remind you. You’re mine, Blaine.” He took Blaine’s hand and put it on his own collarbone, where Blaine’s name sat, sure and comforting. “You’re my soulmate, no matter what anyone says or writes on the internet. And I’m yours, don’t you see it every day when you get dressed?” He slid his hand under Blaine’s shirt to touch his own name there. He knew exactly where it was, even without looking. “I’m here. Look at me. Feel me. We’re together.”
The next thing Kurt knew, Blaine had him pressed even closer, the fabric of his clothes rough over Kurt’s naked body as they tumbled to the bed. “I’m sorry,” Blaine kept repeating as they kissed. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I’m yours. We’re here. I love you.”
Blaine’s hands were frantic on him, warm and strong, stroking over his back and down his thighs, reverent over Kurt’s mark, shy sliding down to his ass. Soon, Kurt was hard and moaning, wanting more, wanting closer, but unwilling to let go of Blaine even for a moment to undress him. So he just pushed Blaine’s shirt high, fumbled with his pants to open them and push them down a little, and then they were skin to hot skin, both hard and rocking into each other desperately, too dry and not enough, but so good.
Kurt reached to his drawer for lube and paused over the box of condoms underneath, a thrill running through him, more from want than fear. He wanted more – he needed more. Needed to be Blaine’s, entirely so, needed to feel him close, so much closer than this. He left the drawer open.
“Move up on the bed,” he said, and Blaine did, still tangled in his jeans but not even sparing a minute to kick them off, just reaching to pull Kurt close again. Kurt groaned when Blaine’s fingers slid right down to his ass, squeezing and kneading.
“Touch me there,” he said in a rush, before he could think too much.
“Kurt,” Blaine whispered and there was such a reverence in his face than Kurt shivered and pressed into his hands. “Are you sure?”
“Please.” His own voice was shaking. He passed the little bottle to Blaine, who took it like a gift.
Then there were fingers at his entrance, sliding in slowly, one by one, with careful timing to let him get accustomed to the sensations. Blaine was watching his face with dark, wide eyes – attentive, concerned, so careful with him. But Kurt didn’t want careful. He just wanted, the desire burning ever brighter with every pass of Blaine’s fingers, every time he rocked down into Blaine’s lap to press them together, his own precome providing enough lubrication now. He could come like this, easily – drunk on Blaine’s touch and scent and the little sounds he was making, on the raw love burning in his eyes. Pleasure was buzzing through him, making him tingle and ache with need. It had been too long and he missed this. Missed Blaine like this.
But this wasn’t how he wanted to come. Now that the thought was there, he could imagine no other way than what sizzled through his brain, making his blood boil. He wanted to mark Blaine as his, own his attention so completely no one else would get there, no matter how hard they tried. He wanted to give him something so memorable there was no room in Blaine’s mind to think that anyone else, ever, might be his soulmate. Blaine was his. And he was Blaine’s. And right now, Kurt was going to show him just how much.
He stopped moving and Blaine’s fingers in him stilled, too, his face immediately concerned.
“Are you alright?”
Kurt smiled at him, feeling sexy and powerful and so certain now. “Oh, I’m much better than alright. I just need something.” He stretched slightly to reach into the drawer. Once his hand came back with the little foil package, Blaine gasped. His hips jerked up involuntarily and he moaned so loud at the sudden friction that for a moment Kurt wondered if that would be it.
But no. Blaine opened his eyes and just stared as Kurt scooted back so that he could have easier access. The movement caused Blaine’s fingers to slip out of him and he gasped softly, already aching to be filled again. The condom out of the wrapper now, he looked up at Blaine.
“Okay?”
Blaine nodded quickly. “God yes. Please.” Then he frowned. “Only if you want to though, okay?” Then Blaine’s eyes closed and he just panted softly as Kurt rolled the condom onto him and stroked him a few times. Kurt inched closer again so that Blaine’s cock was right under his ass. He leaned close to suck a mark on his neck and whisper into his ear.
“Oh, I want to. I want you so much.” He sat back up and smiled at the awestruck look on Blaine’s face. “Lube?” he asked innocently.
Blaine hurried to apply more on both of them and Kurt couldn’t even wait until he was done slicking himself up, he just pressed down against him, Blaine’s action providing the perfect positioning of his cock. Kurt was wild with want. It sang in his blood, my soulmate, mine, no one else is allowed and then his thoughts sizzled to a stop because it was again so much more than fingers but so much better, too. He didn’t know what had changed. It should still feel weird like last time, but whether it was how much he wanted it, or the possessiveness that made him desperate, it was better. So much better that he couldn’t stop himself, loud and unrestrained like he never was before. Underneath him, Blaine was panting, looking at him like he was the best, most perfect thing he’d ever seen.
He got to that uncomfortable moment again, the point where he’d panicked before, tensing and making it all worse, but the twinge of pain didn’t scare him this time. He worked with it, minute rolls of his hips and deep breathing until he felt looser and then suddenly it was easy. In one smooth slide down he impaled himself completely until he was sitting in Blaine’s lap, Blaine’s cock as deep as it could go. He sat for a moment, taking it all in.
There was sweat on his neck and chest, a tickly droplet rolling down his back. He was panting and his cheeks felt on fire. And he had Blaine’s cock buried deep in him, hard and unyielding, filling him more completely than he ever thought possible. And it felt good.
He did it. They were doing this. Blaine looked as incredulous and awed as Kurt felt.
“Does it feel good?” Kurt asked and oh, his voice sounded wrecked.
“God, Kurt, I just… I can’t think it’s so good. Are you okay?”
Kurt smiled. “I’m perfect.” And he really was. It felt right, being together like this. They were like two pieces of a puzzle connected together and god it was so cheesy and he so didn’t care. He could cry with how happy and right he felt.
Or he could do something better.
He lifted slightly on his knees and slid back down, the feeling of Blaine’s cock moving in and out of his body even better than that of merely being full. Moaning, he worked his hips harder, establishing a slow rhythm. He felt sensuous, like he was dancing, like his body knew just what to do, rising and falling to a silent music, chasing the sparks of pleasure that seemed to set him alight all over.
Blaine’s moans were getting louder, more desperate. He arched under Kurt, and Kurt found it ridiculously hot that he was still mostly dressed under Kurt’s shamelessly naked body. He rolled his hips again, hand sliding to his own neglected cock. He hadn’t even realized how close he was until now.
“God, Kurt, if you could see yourself now.” Blaine groaned. “I can’t hold back much longer, I’m gonna come.”
“Good. Me too.” Kurt rasped, breathless.
Blaine reached for him. “Kiss me. Please, Kurt.”
Kurt went easily, and as he leaned down for a kiss, the angle of Blaine’s cock changed inside him, a minute shift that made him see sparks. Blaine’s hand took over Kurt’s cock, tight and wet between their bellies, and he kissed him hard. Kurt could only grip his shoulders and hold on for dear life as his orgasm swept through him like wildfire, everywhere at once, a loop of pleasure that seemed endless.
Blaine slid out of him gently a moment later. Kurt didn’t have energy to move. He let himself be rolled onto his side and scooped into Blaine’s arms, and still he could just breathe and hold on, feeling wrecked with bliss, faint tremors of pleasure running through his body.
When he opened his eyes, Blaine was smiling at him.
“Hi.”
“Hi. I can’t feel my legs,” Kurt mumbled into Blaine’s bicep that served as his pillow. “You okay?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I know you do.” There was a calm warmth in Blaine’s eyes that Kurt had missed so much lately. He looked at peace. “You are my present and my future, Kurt Hummel.” He stroked his thumb over Kurt’s mark, another buzz of pleasure. “You’re my soulmate. The only one. Forever.”