Dec. 17, 2012, 3:30 p.m.
Etched Into My Skin: Chapter 19
E - Words: 5,420 - Last Updated: Dec 17, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Dec 10, 2012 - Updated: Dec 17, 2012 157 0 0 0 0
CHAPTER 19
Barely three days in, Kurt's senior year was already shaping up to be terrible, making the bubbly, relaxed feeling summer left him with a distant memory.
It wasn't just the fact that he and Blaine were in different schools, either. It was... everything, really. Everything was wrong.
Once again, they were a few members short in the Glee club, so the usual hunt for anyone with semi-functioning vocal chords began. It ended in a massive food fight when Rachel had a brilliant idea to do a number in the school cafeteria in order to lure any interested students in with a promise of fun.
Kurt's clothes would never recover. And the only new member they got out of the ordeal, Sugar Motta, was completely devoid of any musical talent and very possibly batshit crazy. Still, to everyone's surprise, Mr. Schue let her in, which meant he was either that desperate, or so affected by his private drama that he didn't care about the Glee club at all.
It only took them a day to find out the reason for their director's unusually sharp, snappy attitude. The beautiful smooth script adorning the front of Ms. Pillsbury's neck like a necklace was impossible to miss. Large brown letters spelled Carl Howell, and if anyone had any doubt their school counselor had found her soulmate over the summer, it was easily dispelled during lunch hour, when the glass walls of her office revealed her once-husband feeding her fruit with a smitten look on his face. Clearly the magic of the marks had helped to resolve any differences they might have had in the past, as evidenced by Ms. Pillsbury's radiant smiles. Rumor had it they were already planning another, proper wedding over Christmas.
She wasn't the only one who'd gotten her mark during the summer. Apart from Rachel, who kept her nose up and the name she found secret (which didn't stop her from babbling about her experience to anyone who didn't run fast enough), there were several other people at McKinley who sported fresh marks. Jacob Ben Israel spent the first two days of school running around, sticking his microphone in people's faces and asking them what they thought of the soulmates issue and if they had something new to share. Which, of course, only deepened Kurt's foul mood because as much as he'd love to show off Blaine's name, they were still keeping their marks a secret. At least he kept his cool and didn't go all berserk when he heard the word soulmates, like Finn did.
It was safe to say Finn wasn't a fan of the concept.
The other big topic in those first days of school was college plans, which really didn't make Kurt feel any better. He'd made his decision. He was fine with his decision. Really, he was. But the thought of explaining it to his friends just gave him a headache, so he didn't say anything, claiming he still wasn't sure. It was enough that Rachel made him feel like shit with her impassioned speech about how he would be a coward, not to mention ruin her perfect New York plans, if he changed his mind now. It took a lot of self-control not to yell at her in all of her self-important indignity and remind her that not everything was about her.
The funny thing was, if Kurt only said he was waiting a year so that he could go to New York with his soulmate, everyone would understand and applaud, like they did for Tina and Mike. Changing your plans for your soulmate was perceived as romantic and right. Changing them for a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Stupid, immature and irresponsible.
Kurt didn't even want to think about what his father would say about it. But this conversation could wait a little longer. He really wasn't looking forward to it.
The icing on the cake of this week was Blaine's behavior. Kurt had known they would have much less time for each other once classes started. But it was the very beginning of the year, there wasn't much homework yet and the after-school activities were only just starting, and already Blaine seemed to be busier than ever. He hadn't been able to meet Kurt at all the first day of school, claiming he was running errands with his mom, and then yesterday he'd only managed to squeeze a quick coffee at the Lima Bean into his schedule. Plus, he'd acted weird, all jittery and excited for no apparent reason. If Kurt didn't know better, he'd think Blaine was hiding something from him.
Wait, did he actually know better? Blaine talked to him about everything, right? At least Kurt had thought he did.
Oh great. Like he needed that thought on top of everything.
More frustrated than ever, he finished fixing his hair and was taking out the book he needed for his next class when a very familiar voice came from a few feet away.
"Hey you."
Kurt stared.
Late that night, already in bed with the lights switched off, Kurt still had trouble believing that any of it had actually happened. Blaine finding him at school in the middle of the day, looking all casual and gorgeous, to tell him that he'd just transferred. Blaine's performance/audition in McKinley's courtyard. Their conversation in Kurt's room after school, when he'd learned all about Mrs. Anderson's change of heart.
Not only could they come out with their marks now; they would see each other at school every day, sing and dance together at Glee, have time – so much time, for normal, everyday boyfriend things, without struggling to meet every afternoon despite distance and school work.
Kurt couldn't be happier – and yet, he found himself unable to fall asleep. It all felt too good to be true, and so unexpected – what if he woke up in the morning only to realize it was all a dream? Only hesitating for a moment because of the late hour, he picked up his phone from the bedside table. Blaine answered on the first ring, sounding barely awake, and Kurt let out the words in a single breath.
"Please promise me you will really be there in the morning."
Blaine chuckled, the sound warm like a soft blanket. "I promise. I'll be at your locker half an hour before classes, coffee in hand."
Kurt breathed out, more loose and relaxed already. "Actually, that only makes you sound more like a dream."
"Get some sleep, Kurt. It's not a dream, I'll be there. I love you."
"I love you too, dream boy."
They hadn't planned how they would come out, not yet. Now that Kurt knew they could reveal their marks whenever they chose, it lost the desperate urgency he had felt before. It was their decision, theirs to plan and enjoy, and Blaine had already said that he would be glad to do it any way Kurt wished – he was just happy not to hide how lucky they were anymore.
So Kurt decided to take his time, no matter how excited he felt at the prospect. A few days more wouldn't change anything, and he wanted the moment to be just right – nothing too flashy or dramatic, but noticeable enough. Merely telling someone and waiting for the rumor mill to pick it up wouldn't do. Kurt wanted strategy.
The inspiration came on Monday, after Mr. Schue ordered half of the Glee club into mandatory booty camp to improve their dancing skills. As offended as Kurt felt by the implication that his dance moves weren't good enough, he couldn't help but bounce a little. He'd have to plan out the details once he got home, but he had an idea and it was perfect.
***
Blaine survived the few days it took for his transfer to be official, buzzing with excitement and anticipation. Not revealing his surprise to Kurt before the time came was possibly one of the most difficult acting exercises he'd ever done, and there were a few times when he was sure he would burst with it. But the look of stunned disbelief on Kurt's face was worth every minute of holding back, and the surprise performance felt like an amazing beginning to the new chapter in Blaine's high school education. And now they were at school together again, and Blaine still couldn't believe it. He kept glancing at Kurt in the choir room, searching him out in the hallways during every break, full to the brim with warm, happy feelings, so much so that he forgot to be anxious at all.
Well... okay, there were a few tiny dark clouds in the perfect sky of his post-transfer life. Rachel insinuating that Blaine was a Warblers spy. Finn getting sulky and snappy after Blaine's – perhaps a tad too excited – welcome speech. Some of the others eyeing him with confused distrust. Overall, he was not met with as much enthusiasm as he'd imagined. It turned out getting along great with a group of people in casual circumstances didn't automatically mean being greeted with open arms when you decided to join them permanently.
But that was fine. Blaine would just have to prove himself as a valuable addition to New Directions. Which shouldn't be a problem, he was a master of proving himself and fitting expectations. It was only a matter of time until everything was smooth and friendly again.
And all that paled in the light of having his soulmate by his side, anyway. Especially now that they were about to officially reveal their marks. Blaine didn't know all the details – Kurt only told him it would be tomorrow – but he could barely contain his excitement and curiosity. Knowing Kurt, it would be big.
Blaine spent the whole day on pins and needles, waiting for that moment. Kurt had only smiled mysteriously and told him to be patient when he had asked, so Blaine's heart sped up every time Kurt went over to talk to somebody during the day. He almost grabbed Kurt's hand when he saw Jacob coming towards them with his cameraman, but they passed without a word, trailing after one of the Cheerios.
Later, in Glee, when Kurt put his hand up, Blaine thought he would jump out of his skin. This had to be it, it made perfect sense to announce it here first, among friends. Except... Kurt only told everyone that he'd decided he would be running for senior class president. Which was the first time Blaine heard about it, and he would definitely have to ask because hey, shouldn't he be the first to know? But that was not the point.
The point was, the day was almost over and still no one knew.
He caught up with Kurt as they were leaving the choir room after practice.
"Kurt–"
"Shh, trust me."
"But–"
"I promise, soon." Kurt smiled mischievously and quickly squeezed Blaine's hand in the empty corridor.
They were walking towards the auditorium for the first booty camp and Blaine sulked a little as he trailed after his boyfriend. He knew it was his fault they'd even waited so long, but now that they didn't have to hide anymore, he couldn't wait to look everyone in the eye and proudly say: this is my soulmate.
With only the relative privacy of the backstage serving as changing rooms, everyone scattered between corners and curtained-off nooks to change into exercise clothes. Blaine found his own empty spot and quickly pulled on his sweatpants and t-shirt before going to find Kurt.
He was on the stage already, talking with Mike, and Blaine joined them to wait for everyone else. There was only a handful of people besides them – Finn, Puck, Mercedes, Sugar and Quinn – but the girls seemed to need forever to get ready, so Blaine took the opportunity to ogle Kurt a little. It wasn't that often that he got to see his boyfriend so casual, after all. Black, form-fitting yoga pants paired with a zipped-up black-and-white hoodie made Kurt look younger somehow, less guarded, and at the same time accentuated certain areas of his body in a way that made Blaine's mouth water and his mind frantically calculate how much time alone they could get afterwards before Kurt's dad came from the garage.
Well, at this rate they wouldn't leave here until dinnertime.
Finally, everyone was accounted for and ready (if not particularly happy to be here), and Mr. Schue clapped his hands to get their attention.
"Okay, so now that you've all decided to grace us with your presence at last, let's start. And just so you know, starting tomorrow, every five minutes of delay adds half an hour to the class. Warm up."
Blaine rolled his eyes as soon as the teacher turned his back. Frankly, he'd never had much heart or respect for Mr. Schue – just knowing that the man had been at least partially aware of Kurt's bullying problem last year and did nothing to effectively stop it was enough for Blaine to dislike him because, damn it, he was an adult and a teacher. Mr. Schue's attitude since Blaine had joined the New Directions did nothing to warm him towards the man, and neither did his first Spanish lesson on Friday. Blaine wasn't by any means a master of the language, but after a year at Dalton he was proficient enough to wince every other time Mr. Schue said something in class or read an excerpt from their textbook.
Beside him, movement caught Blaine's attention – Kurt was quickly unzipping his hoodie before skipping to the nearest chair to put it away. It was warm in the auditorium.
But then Kurt turned around and returned to his place, light on his feet and focused on Mike up front, already explaining the warm-up sequence, and Blaine – gasped.
He wasn't the only one to notice. Mercedes' shrill squeal got everyone's attention instantly.
"Kurt Hummel! Is that what I think it is?"
Kurt looked down where her finger was pointing, the mark perfectly displayed thanks to the wide neck of his striped tank top, and he shrugged, grinning just a little.
"Oh. Yeah, of course it is."
The next few minutes were a little bit of a pandemonium – most everyone gathered around Kurt to have a look, then turning to Blaine, asking, exclaiming, congratulating. He had to lift his t-shirt to show his own mark, which he did gladly, excited, giddy, a little drunk on the moment finally being here and on Kurt's proud smile. In the happy chaos, it took him a while to notice Finn stalking away with a stormy expression, just before Mr. Schue's sharp voice cut through the noise.
"Do I need to remind you all that the later we start, the longer you're going to be here? Back to positions, everyone. And Kurt, put on something more covering."
Kurt looked at Mr. Schue defiantly. "Why? Do I show too much cleavage?"
"You're distracting the others." The teacher's jaw was clenched, the vein in his neck pulsing.
Kurt arched his eyebrow. "Really. I can almost see Sugar's nipples from here, but I'm distracting." Sugar grinned and jiggled her breasts at them. Puck whistled. Mr. Schue looked like he wanted to yell at them, but eventually turned his back and growled.
"On three."
The practice was strenuous to the point of cruelty. By the end of it every single one of them was streaming with sweat, their legs unstable and muscles screaming. Mercedes had cried and refused to go on halfway through it. Finn had kicked a note-stand and stormed out not much later, after failing to recreate a complicated dance routine yet again. Mr. Schue called them lazy more than once.
Blaine had another problem though – one that earned him a more permanent place in the booty camp though he'd initially came as a volunteer. His blunders and utter distractedness ruined every favorable impression Mr. Schue and Mike had had about his skills as a dancer, but Blaine really couldn't help it. He couldn't control his reactions no matter how he tried. Because it turned out that seeing Kurt's mark displayed like that in public was a huge thing for Blaine.
Not just a turn-on, either. Every time he saw it, so clear against Kurt's pale skin, so out there, his, his name, a jolt of something raw and primal ran through Blaine's body, turning his thoughts into a jumble of incoherent, animalistic growls. All through the practice he'd had to fight with the need to get closer to Kurt, into his personal space, to touch him, to mark him and show everyone that this gorgeous, amazing boy was Blaine's.
As soon as they were backstage, he couldn't hold back any longer. Grabbing Kurt's hand, he pulled him into a secluded nook behind a curtain and into a deep, desperate kiss before Kurt could say a word. He lingered on Kurt's lips only for a moment, though, before kissing and nipping down the salty slope of his neck and over, finally, to the mark. Blaine felt a little wild with it, the skin seemed electric under his lips and it was still not enough, he needed more, needed everyone to see–
"Blaine." It was a half-moan from Kurt's mouth and Blaine grazed the hard ridge of his collarbone, sucked at the smooth skin. "Blaine!"
Kurt gently pushed him away and Blaine swayed a little, startled out of his trance-like state. Before his eyes, the skin over and around his name was reddened from his ministrations. Kurt was staring at him, clearly surprised.
"What was this?"
"I... I don't know, I just – you're mine."
"Of course I am, but why the sudden need to devour me, especially when I'm all sweaty and gross?"
Blaine shrugged. He could feel his cheek start to burn with more than exertion. "I don't know, I just... seeing your mark in public apparently makes me go crazy possessive."
Kurt arched his eyebrow. "Oh. Interesting." He looked at Blaine for a moment, a look of calculation on his face. "Hm, how about we go to my house and take a quick shower, together if there's no one there yet, and then you can commence marking me however you want as long as it's not in visible places? I still have plans for tomorrow that involve showing off your name."
Blaine just growled and rushed to get his bag, ready to go.
***
Kurt checked his reflection in the mirror before getting out of his car the next morning. Everything seemed to be in perfect order – his hair was flawless, the single tiny hickey left accidentally on his neck last night well covered up, and the zippers on the shoulders of his sweater opened just enough to give everyone a peek of the black undershirt – and the perfect view of his mark. Satisfied, Kurt grabbed his bag and strutted towards the school, where Blaine was undoubtedly waiting by his locker already.
Oh, it was going to be an great day. Not even Finn's silent sulkiness was going to spoil it.
Rachel intercepted him as soon as he walked through the door, pulling him to the side despite his protests and immediately pushing into his personal space, reaching out to touch his collarbone.
"So it's true then."
He batted her hand away with a disbelieving frown. There was only one person allowed to touch.
She didn't look discouraged, just hurt. "I couldn't believe it when Mercedes called me last night, I thought I'd be the first to know if it happened, but apparently you've had it for months and you never said a word? How could you, Kurt? We had plans, and this changes everything, will you even go to New York now? Oh god, I need a back-up plan, I have to find a new roommate, you should have told me months ago, Kurt!"
Kurt ground his teeth so hard it hurt in an effort not to lash out.
"Believe it or not, Rachel, but not everything is about you. There was a reason no one knew until now."
"Mike knew!" She snapped.
"Yes, from Tina, who knew because she guessed. And my parents. And that was it. And I don't have to apologize to you for how I lead my life." He turned to walk away, his buoyant mood somewhat ruined.
"But I'm your best friend!" She called out behind him. He didn't stop. He wasn't even sure if it was still true.
Just as Kurt thought, the news had already spread through the school and there were whispers and curious glances around him as he walked to his locker. Blaine's smile was dazzling, clearly visible from afar, but as Kurt came closer, it changed into something less innocent and more heated. Blaine's eyes were dark and intent by the time Kurt reached him, and Blaine's hand rose immediately to smooth a welcome over Kurt's exposed mark.
"Please tell me you know of a private place where we can disappear right now."
Kurt laughed softly. "Again? I thought it was just a reaction to the first time I showed off the mark."
Blaine shook his head and clutched the strap of his bag with both hands in a clear attempt to keep them away from Kurt. "I don't think so. It's like... I have a physical reaction to seeing it uncovered where other people can look at it. Can I press you against the lockers and ravish you, so that they all know you're mine?"
Kurt's breath quickened a little, but he kept his careful distance. It was McKinley. It wouldn't end well. "I think the fact that I'm basically signed as yours and everyone can see it will have to suffice for now, sorry."
Blaine groaned quietly, but nodded. "I know. But, for the record, I would."
They didn't have a chance to see more than a glimpse of each other during the next few hours, but by lunchtime, Kart had heard every possible version of "What does it feel like?", "When/How did it appear?", "Is the sex better now?" and "So gays can be soulmates too?" from friends and strangers alike. Reports from Tina revealed that Blaine had fared similarly. In general, most of the comments and reactions were nice and curious, no hostility. Even people he'd never spoken to smiled at him after spotting his mark.
Well, it was one more thing that made him stick out – even with more people sporting new marks after the summer, there were only three other matched couples at McKinley that he knew of. Kurt wondered how it would affect his chances in the elections.
Blaine was already waiting for him when Kurt went out of his last class before lunch, and Kurt didn't miss his barely-aborted lean in for a kiss. Suddenly emboldened, he did something he'd wanted to do from the moment Blaine transferred: he took his boyfriend's hand, right in the crowded hallway, to walk with him like all the other couples did. Such a simple thing, and yet, for them, so very special.
There were always going to be people who considered their relationship wrong or unnatural. And maybe even the marks wouldn't convince them otherwise, no matter how many more scientists admitted that the phenomenon did look like some sort of "natural selection of the most optimal partners". But even those few who looked at them with new eyes today were an improvement, a step forward in acceptance. And Kurt was done hiding, refraining from every tiny gesture than might be considered wrong by those who didn't like what they were. Sure, flaunting their affection in public was still a risky idea, considering where they lived, but he would hold hands with his boyfriend – his soulmate – if he wanted to, dammit. He would sit with him and touch his shoulder, and smile at him, real and intimate, instead of constantly being on lookout. And if he became the senior class president, he would do all that he could to make this school a safer place. For them, for others that were different, for everyone.
Courage, that was it. Starting here, now.
They were greeted with a few whistles and whoops when they got to the table occupied by the Glee members in the cafeteria, their hands swinging between them. Lunch was a joyous affair today, with jokes and teasing, and a guessing game about who in their little group would be the next person marked, and when, and with what name. Would there be more matched couples? With Sam and Lauren gone, and Rachel and Finn broken up, the only unmarked couple left (though they would deny being a couple, no matter what everyone knew) were Santana and Brittany.
The relaxed mood around the table shattered when Finn dropped his hamburger onto the tray with a scowl.
"Seriously, can't we talk about anything else? Soulmates and soulmates, it's like this is the only topic now."
Kurt arched his eyebrows. Finn had been in a bad mood since booty camp yesterday, avoiding him all evening and leaving early in the morning, but this was the first time he actually spoke about it.
"What's your problem, Finn?"
The full force of Finn's frown was now directed at Kurt and, by extension, Blaine sitting by his side.
"My problem is that apparently my own brother has had one of those stupid marks for over half a year and didn't even tell me."
"Finn, we kept it a secret because my parents–" Blaine was trying to placate him with his calm, rational voice, but Kurt already knew it would be no use. He was right.
"I'm not asking you, Blaine. I'm talking to my brother here, if you don't mind."
Kurt bristled. "Finn, I don't see why you're so angry about it, but whatever the reason–"
"Don't Finn me, Kurt. Sure I'm angry. Why shouldn't I be? First, I'm not a good enough boyfriend because I don't have the right name. Then your boyfriend transfers and immediately tries to take control and do things his way, like we're his precious Warblers–"
Next to Kurt, Blaine frowned. "What? I never–"
"– and now I learn I'm not even trustworthy enough to be told important things by my own family. So yeah, sorry, I'm a little bit annoyed." Kurt opened his mouth to say something, explain somehow, but Finn held up his hands. "No, Kurt, save it. I don't want to hear it." He grabbed his bag and stormed out, leaving his unfinished food.
There was uncomfortable silence around the table in the wake of Finn's exit. Santana was the first to recover.
"Well, that was awkward. I for one am really glad Prince Charming here joined us. More cute meat to ogle, and he sure can sing. His moves are much better than Frankenteen's, too."
Somehow, no one felt in the mood to joke anymore. The rest of the meal passed in uncomfortable silence.
"I'm sorry about Finn. I'm sure he'll come around."
They were sitting in Lima Bean that afternoon, barely able to move after another exhausting round of booty camp. Finn had kept away from them all day after his earlier outburst, still clearly simmering, and Kurt couldn't stop thinking about his words, feeling increasingly guilty. Maybe they should have handled it differently, should have told him. Then again, Finn couldn't keep a secret if he tried.
Blaine shrugged, and winced when the move jostled his strained muscles. "It's okay. I just didn't realize I was doing anything wrong."
"You aren't. Finn's irrational, I don't know what bit him. No, okay, I do know, he's still not over Rachel, but it's not an excuse. Do you want me to talk to him?"
Blaine shook his head and swallowed some coffee. "No. I will do it myself in a few days if he's still mad. Anyway, I wanted to ask – Kurt, what's with the presidential stuff?"
Kurt blushed. "Oh, I've been meaning to talk to you about it, actually. I wanted to ask if you'd do me the honor of being my campaign manager. You could help me with phrasing my campaign, I would even let you design the posters, including taking the pictures if you wanted."
Blaine smiled. "Of course, I'll be glad to help, but I mean, what happened to make you run? I didn't even know you were interested in the school political stage."
"I didn't know either, to be honest." Kurt sighed. He couldn't talk about this without touching another subject that he'd hoped to postpone. Oh well. "I just. I've been thinking about college. I mean, I should get into Ohio State easily, but then next year when I apply to Julliard to go to New York with you? I don't have that many achievements, no extracurriculars except for Glee, and the competition there will be much harder. So I thought I should do what I can this year, while I still can. And besides winning Nationals, which I can't guarantee on my own, and starring in a school play, which I still hope to do if it works out this year, the presidency was the only thing I came up with. Plus, I believe I can really do some good for this school with the campaign I have. Let me tell you–"
"Kurt." Blaine said softly, touching his hand to stop his monologue. "Come on, you're not going to Ohio State."
Kurt expected discussion, but this? His jaw dropped a little. "But... I can't go to New York yet, not next year, not without you."
"You can't or you don't want to?"
"I... both? I want to go to New York – you know how much I do, but I don't want to leave you here, I can't–"
Blaine shook his head with a smile that was just this side of sad. "Sure you can. It will be hard, for both of us, but I don't want you to put your life on hold for me. We'll survive, it's only a school year. And there are weekends and holidays and breaks. We'll be fine."
Kurt felt his eyes prickle. God, he wanted New York. But not seeing Blaine every day? "But we're soulmates, we're not supposed to be apart!"
Blaine stroked the top of his hand with his thumb. "Why, because Tina says so? Come on, let us be the ones who decide what we are and aren't supposed to do with our relationship. These are our lives, our decisions. I wish you had talked to me about this, you know. Weren't we supposed to communicate?"
Kurt bit his lip. "I thought it would be easier if I just... decided."
Blaine squeezed his hand. "I know. But I want to be in on such big things that affect both of us. And I don't want you to sacrifice your dreams for me. Apply to Julliard, Kurt. Go and be amazing, and find all the best places to show me when I visit, and then a year later I will join you and we'll rent a tiny apartment together, and we'll make up for all the time apart, and we'll never separate for that long again. Okay?"
The tears were flowing now, but Kurt didn't even care. He had the best boyfriend in the world. "Okay."