Dec. 17, 2012, 3:30 p.m.
Etched Into My Skin: Chapter 3
E - Words: 2,352 - Last Updated: Dec 17, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Dec 10, 2012 - Updated: Dec 17, 2012 1,762 0 5 0 0
CHAPTER 3
If Blaine thought that giving in to the temptation would finally stop the steady stream of persistent, half-chaste thoughts about Kurt, he was sorely mistaken. He fell asleep thinking about Kurt, only to dream about Kurt and woke up flushed, overheated and panting, because those dreams? They were nowhere near chaste. In fact, some bits were as erotic as they could get without being pornographic, not to mention so realistic that he still felt a little dazed with the intensity of it.
How exactly did his imagination know the exact shape – and feel – of Kurt's ass in his tightest pants, when Blaine had never really allowed himself to look? How did it come up with the breathtaking visions of Kurt's face as he was slowly falling apart, Blaine's hand stroking him through the thick denim of those pants? It was too much to know, even just from a dream, what Kurt's lips would taste like, how soft and warm they would be against his, and how they would feel, and look, wrapped around Blaine's –
Oh god, he needed a cold shower, STAT.
It was halfway through rolling out of bed when he remembered the mark from last night. A little apprehensive, he pushed down the waist of his pajama pants – and there it was. Undeniably real, even darker now, in the light of day, and completely, unbelievably confusing.
It was way too early to try to understand what it meant, though, and seeing Kurt's name bold and clear on his skin like this suddenly made the need for that shower even more immediate. He'd cool off, grab something to eat and fuel his brain up with caffeine, and then he'd analyze the situation properly. Because let's be honest, it needed to be properly analyzed before the coffee date with Kurt that night.
Two hours later Blaine was sitting in front of his laptop, deep in research. He'd scanned through a few articles about "the Names plague" at first, and sure, it was good to know he was not alone in his predicament or going to die because of it, but his questions remained unanswered. Why Kurt's name? Why right now, and in this particular place on his body? What did it mean?
He kept searching, reading through blog entries, tumblr posts and discussion boards. He looked at pictures of dozens of names, located anywhere from shoulder blades to ankles to inner thighs and everywhere in between, on young skin or older, fair to dark. Boys names, girls names, long and short, scrawled or beautifully calligraphed, all sharing the same spectrum of brown color and the origin. But seeing other people's marks, and reading about how or when they appeared, didn't really explain much. No one seemed to have the answers Blaine wanted.
And then, on one of the few Names-related discussion boards he found, he spotted a thread that looked promising.
It was a multiple-page-long discussion about a possible connection between the marks and physical or sexual attraction. The users most active in the thread were all among those who carried names of people they knew, in one way or another. There was a (somewhat sleazy) middle-aged married man who had a name of his kids' sexy young nanny on his shoulder, a college girl who had been hiding a name of a boy from one of her classes under scarves and turtlenecks for months now, and a thirty-year-old single woman who insisted she was totally straight except for the strong attraction to her best girl friend, whose name had just appeared on her breast a few weeks ago. There were a few others, too, and all of them shared one important detail: they had been fantasizing about the person whose name had appeared on their skin even before it happened.
That was what pushed Blaine to read through the dozens of posts, even though he was feeling more uneasy with every passing minute. Okay, his little fantasy last night was ridiculously tame compared to some of what he read the others entertain, but he had gotten off to it, hadn't he? And he had been crushing on Kurt and thinking about him constantly for weeks now, and more than ever since they'd flirted their way through that duet in the common room before Christmas.
Not that Blaine only saw Kurt in a sexual context – far from it. In fact, physical attraction was only part of the reason Blaine couldn't stop thinking about his best friend. But it was part of it, one that couldn't be turned off or separated from the emotional layer of their connection. And the one time Blaine let himself act on it was exactly when his mark appeared. So wasn't it obvious that it had to be somehow related?
And if it was... God, Blaine would have to make sure Kurt never learned about it. After his ordeal with bullying and, most of all, the Karofsky incident, the last thing Kurt needed was knowing that Blaine – the one person he fully trusted with this – couldn't stop thinking about him as so much more than a platonic friend.
No, Kurt couldn't know, and therefore no one else could, either. Good thing Blaine's mark was in a well-hidden place.
There were some other things he learned from reading through the discussion – things that made him suddenly nervous about seeing Kurt in mere hours. Apparently, after the name appeared, the attraction to that particular person rapidly grew, which seemed to confirm the sex-related nature of it. There was supposed to be a certain pull, a need to be close, to touch, and the way the body reacted to the proximity was said to be strengthened, too.
Great. As if he hadn't had enough trouble keeping his crush to himself already.
For a moment Blaine considered calling off the coffee date, but he dismissed the idea quickly. He missed Kurt too much. Heart pounding – which was ridiculous, he texted Kurt all the time – he picked up his phone to confirm their meeting in Lima Bean.
***
Kurt really shouldn't feel so nervous. Coffee dates with Blaine were something so familiar it felt like they'd been doing it forever and not just over a month. On any given day, the smell of coffee and the sight of Blaine's smile across the coffeeshop would be enough to make Kurt relax immediately.
Not today.
He blamed the fact that they hadn't seen each other for a week – the longest since they'd first met – but as he was walking to their table, Kurt knew he was lying to himself. The real reason was hidden under three layers of undeniably fabulous clothing, which did nothing to alleviate the feeling like he was naked, like one glance at him would tell Blaine his secret, in all of its mortifying extent.
It didn't help that seeing Blaine here, at their usual table, brought to mind pictures from his dreams – of Blaine at the same table on different occasions, in different outfits, with expressions that varied from amused to interested to serious, but always included what Kurt had already secretly dubbed as the heart eyes; something that the real Blaine in front of him was very noticeably missing. Kurt knew perfectly well those were figments of his imagination, just fantasies born from his budding feelings toward Blaine. But his heart refused to get the memo, and that made all the difference. He felt an overwhelming need to run up to his friend, pull him up into a hug and kiss him right there.
God, he needed to get a grip. It was just Blaine. And just another of their usual coffee dates. As just friends.
Years of practicing his game face in the McKinley corridors proved extremely useful now as Kurt settled opposite Blaine to chat happily about their Christmas break. It wasn't like he didn't want to show that he was glad to see Blaine – he had truly missed him. But his emotions seemed to be completely out of control today, his thoughts and reactions all over the place, and it took every bit of restraint not to let too much show on his face or in his voice. And even then some of it must have leaked through somehow because Blaine kept looking at him strangely every now and then, his eyes wide and inquiring, as if he was trying to understand what got into Kurt.
And then their hands brushed as they reached for their coffee at the same time, and it was nothing, just a most innocent, fleeting touch like many they'd shared before, and yet–
Kurt was aware that he gasped softly; he was aware of Blaine's shocked expression and the way he withdrew his hand quickly, as if burned, but all that got drowned in the sudden, tingly warmth coursing up his arm from the point of contact. It felt strange and wonderful, and unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. If he were to compare it to anything, it would be like coming home from a winter walk with your hands cold, and getting to warm them up by the fireplace, or on a cup of hot cocoa handed to you by a loved one – only in this case in happened in a fast, steady wave, radiating from his knuckles where the tips of Blaine's fingers had brushed. It made him feel content and relaxed, and, somehow... whole.
Was it yet another weird side effect of the mark, like the persistent dreams?
It took Kurt what felt like a very long moment, almost long enough for the warmth to dissipate completely, to get over the shock. One look at Blaine's face was enough to make him lose any hope that he may have somehow missed Kurt's attack of crazy. Blaine seemed bewildered, his brow furrowed as he bit on his lower lip, clearly wondering. But he didn't ask. He just smiled, shook his head as if to clear it and went right back to trying to convince Kurt to give up the New Year's party with his McKinley friends and come to the Warblers' celebration instead.
Nothing seemed to have changed, not on the surface at least, and yet, as Kurt was driving home an hour later, he was absolutely certain Blaine must have seen right through him. Not to the mark – that was impossible – but deep enough to realize that Kurt had feelings for him, and not of the platonic variety. And the fact that Blaine said nothing about it, didn't ask or comment or anything, was a pretty clear message: he wasn't interested.
Well, at least he didn't freak out. Don't ask, don't tell then. Oh well. Kurt could live with that.
***
The meeting in Lima Bean proved that Blaine was in more trouble than he expected. It turned out the effect Kurt had on him now was almost unbearably strengthened, to the point where merely sharing the same table and talking made everything thrum under Blaine's skin with the need to reach out and touch, and then never stop touching. It felt as if the presence of the mark on his skin caused everything else to be filtered out, leaving Blaine's senses and his thoughts overwhelmed with pure, undiluted Kurt.
It was the sweetest kind of torture.
And the shock of Kurt's touch – like a low, steady current of pure bliss – made him jerk his hand away like a fool. It was silly, and probably the least subtle thing he could have done, as he realized belatedly, seeing Kurt's stunned expression – but it was better than the alternative. Because Blaine was about half a second from grabbing Kurt's hand with both of his and pulling him closer, right into his lap, so that he could hide his face in the crook of Kurt's neck and suck on his skin, and slip his hands under all of Kurt's numerous, well-fitted layers to feel as much bare skin as physically possible without undressing.
So really, coming off strange was ultimately a much better option.
Of course – he realized on his way home as the Kurt-induced fog slowly lifted from his brain – all of this meant his life was going to get much harder really soon. Kurt decided to celebrate New Year's in Lima after all, so they wouldn't meet again for a few more days, but once they were back to school, everything needed to change. Unless his newly-acquired reactions were just a one-time thing, which he doubted, there was no way Blaine would be able to touch Kurt anymore, or stand close to him, or talk about anything remotely intimate. Or watch him eat. Or see him pronounce Blaine's name, with that bright smile and a peek of his wet, pink tongue around the lilt of the L. Or–
Oh fuck, he was so screwed.
And yet, it was infinitely better than pulling away from Kurt and avoiding him. He couldn't do that, no matter what.
He would manage. Things would work out. He vaguely remembered reading that the effects of the mark were strongest at the beginning (but how long was that?) and/or if you were intimate with the person whose name you had on your skin (which he didn't see happening anytime soon – or, probably, ever). Well, there were also rumors about your body going particularly crazy if the other person had your mark on their body, but that was so rare it was almost unheard of among the reported cases. Either way, side effects or not, Blaine was not going to let his weird condition ruin his friendship with Kurt.
He'd just have to tough it out.
Comments
AHHHHH! I love and hate when we you know things the characters don't and we want to smack sense into them Oh boys, what am I going to do with you?
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This was so awesome. It was so much fun to see Blaine's reaction to everything and to see how he was planning to avoid the reactions that he was having towards Kurt. It was so funny to read both of their perspectives on the coffee date and to see how the other either misread the others reaction or they didn't notice any change. It is going to be fun to see how they had their new connection once they go back to school and to see if they realize that they both have the marks which makes them an extremely uncommon case. I can't wait to see what happens next.
THEY ARE SO FRUSTRATING! haha. clueless boys. So well done, this is exactly how I think they would both react to this situation and you are perfect :) It's hilarious and wonderful :)
Right there he shoulda thought maybe Kurt did have his named marked on him.