Blaine buzzed with excitement on his way to Kurt's apartment. The weariness from the past few days was gone. Who would've ever thought, that morning, that Blaine would be so wide-awake close to midnight after a few sleepless nights.

Laying his eyes on Kurt in the big NYADA dance room was everything he needed to forget all about the troubles he witnessed during the week. Kurt was there, smiling and cheering him on as if Blaine didn't act like a complete fool in days prior. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe Kurt had his reasons why he kept things from Blaine and those reasons had nothing to do with a potential break up.

His steps were light and he was so excited to finally get to Kurt that he didn't wait for the elevator in the lobby of Kurt's building but took a run up the stairs, the key to Kurt's apartment already in his hand. He let himself in and the first thing that came into his vision was Kurt peacefully sleeping on the couch, clutching a teddy bear Blaine had won for him at the carnival last summer to his chest.

Blaine sat down on the floor next to the couch, watching his boyfriend and debating whether to wake him or not. Kurt stirred in his sleep as Blaine carded his fingers through Kurt's hair.

"You're here."

"I can let you sleep and come back in the morning."

"No!" Kurt protested and rubbed his eyes. He slowly stood up from the couch and turned the lights on because the dimly lit room was what made him fall asleep in the first place.

"My parents called me," Blaine said when Kurt returned and sat down on the floor next to him. "My mom couldn't shut up about how she loved my performance and I was wondering how she could see it if they weren't there. How did you do that? How did you even know they weren't coming?"

"It was my dad's fault...that they couldn't come. He changed the date of the important meeting without consulting your dad and it was too late to do something about it. I was so pissed. I'm so sorry, Blaine. My dad takes full responsibility for this one."

"It's okay, Kurt."

"No, it's not! They were finally supposed to come and see you and then my dad got in the way and ruined it."

"They still saw me."

"It's not the same. Cameras can't replace a live performance…"

"How did you do that though?"

"Do you know Mark? The one from my combat class?"

"Yeah."

"He installed the cameras in the room and then livestreamed the performance…I just sent your parents and Cooper the link by email."

"Thank you…"

"It was the least I could do."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt. I have no excuse, just that I was being an irrational idiot these past few days…" Kurt tentatively outstretched his arm and took Blaine's hand, squeezing it softly before lacing their fingers together.

"What happened? I've never seen you like that before. We're always able to solve our disagreements on the spot. I still don't understand what set you off like that. You never shut me out..."

"I had a bad day and I let things get to me and...I just screwed up and I'm really sorry."

"I'm gonna need more than that, baby. I want an explanation."

"Okay," Blaine nodded and cast his eyes down. "I met Ben in the coffee shop that morning. And he actually approached me and said some stupid things…"

"What things?"

"Well...that you were probably one foot out the door and…"

"And?"

"He asked if you still had difficulties with saying I love you. And that you two had coffee together the day before…"

"What?! That's ridiculous! Firstly, I did NOT have a coffee with him. I ran into him in the coffee shop and I politely asked how he was doing. That's all. He said fine, then he asked me the same question, I said great and we parted. The whole conversation didn't last more than a minute! And secondly, I do NOT have problems with saying I love you! What the hell? How dare he? I don't have problems with expressing my love, do I?" Blaine bit his upper lip, looking everywhere but at his boyfriend.

"Blaine? D-Do I? Oh my god!" Kurt jumped to his feet, all color from his face gone. "Oh my god! When you asked me if I loved you, you actually meant that! I thought you were just rambling some nonsense but...It was a deliberate question, wasn't it? You meant it! You asked that on purpose! Oh my god!"

"Kurt," Blaine started soothingly, afraid to get in the way of Kurt pacing. Kurt's hands were shaking as he strode around the room repeatedly.

"Have I ever behaved like I don't love you?" Kurt asked in a weak and trembling voice. "What have I done wrong? Jesus, Blaine. Have I ever not said it back when you told me you loved me? Or...Oh my god! I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You always say it back," Blaine whispered and then said it once again, more loudly. "You ALWAYS say it back."

"Then what's...I don't...Where did it come from then? Just because Ben said some shit you didn't have to jump to some stupid conclusion! How could you even think that? Like...if I'm doing something wrong you need to tell me before accusing me of something that isn't true! If I always said it back then I can't see the problem!"

"I'm sorry…"

"Will you stop it? I know you're sorry. You said it several times! And I'm sorry, too, because I was apparently a bad boyfriend if you had to question my love for you. But sorry isn't going to solve this, Blaine. I still need an explanation. Let me inside your head so I know what you were thinking!"

"You always say it back…"

"Do you not want me to say it back?"

"No. It's okay that you say it back...Just...You only say it back, okay? Like an automatic response...You never say it first…" Kurt stopped in his tracks and slumped down on the couch. He gaped at Blaine wordlessly, taking in what he'd been told.

"It didn't really bother me. It was something I noticed and mostly I ignored it. But then you started keeping things from me and I was waiting for you to tell me and you didn't. And we barely saw each other lately, and I met Ben, and then my parents told me they wouldn't come to the showcase and you cancelled our date...It was really a shitty day and I just got stuck inside my own head. I know you love me, Kurt. I don't doubt that. I swear I don't. But I wonder if you love me enough not to leave me…"

"Why would I lea-" Kurt faltered. "You know about the offer. Who told you?!"

"Santana."

"It's not...Fuck!"

"Why didn't you tell me you're leaving New York?"

"I'm not leaving yet. We don't know if we got the job."

"Kurt, of course you're gonna get it. And you'll be gone while I have to stay here. You kept it a secret so I assume there is a reason for that…"

"I wanted to make sure that I'm doing everything I can to make it easier for you. That's why I didn't tell you."

"Make it easier? So you are going to break up with me?"

"What?! No! Of course not! I was trying to come up with some plan so YOU wouldn't break up with me!"

"Why would I break up with you?"

"Because you don't believe in long distance relationships! You broke it off with Wyatt when you went in different directions. I was thinking of ways to keep you busy while I'm gone. Then Carmen told me about June and I knew if you would perform, she would choose you. Which is exactly what happened. And now you're her new project and you'll have a lot on your plate next year with school and a possible break out on Broadway so you won't have much time to miss me...And before you know it, I'll be back in the city and…"

"You thought I would break up with you?" Blaine asked in a small, barely audible voice. Kurt saw a streak of emotion playing on his face - from awe and surprise to something that almost reflected anger. Like Blaine couldn't believe he had to go through all of this because Kurt thought he would break up with him. Like he couldn't believe Kurt would ever think something like that.

"Yes...and I might not say it the way you would like - which I'm going to work on - but I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, Blaine, and I want us to be together."

"We really need to work on our communication. We can't afford misunderstandings if we want to do long distance…"

"So you will consider it?"

"I don't have to consider anything, Kurt. There is a difference between long distance when you're freshly out of high school and when you're finishing college. We'll figure something out. We'll make it work."

"No more secrets."

"No more secrets."

"And we have to tell each other if we have some doubts…"

"Yes. From now on we'll be honest about what's bothering us."

"Okay," Kurt nodded and stood up. He opened his arms and Blaine gladly allowed his boyfriend to embrace him. Blaine would miss this. Kurt's hugs made him feel safe and cared for. His familiar scent was what Blaine called home. Small kisses on his temple always helped him relax and even though soft whispers of I love you were new, Blaine felt like the words were absolutely unnecessary because Kurt showed him how much he loved him every day - through small things, big gestures, through touches or kisses, through his expressive eyes and the smile that was reserved just for Blaine. And Blaine clung to him, promising that he would never doubt his love ever again. If he had to make a choice, he would choose Kurt's actions of love and adoration over the three little words anytime. He swore to himself he would never be this stupid again. Blaine owned Kurt's heart as much as Kurt owned his, and he would make sure their hearts would stay safe in each others hands.