"You've been awfully quiet since Blaine left this morning," Rachel noted, observing her best friend carefully. Kurt liked to keep things to himself but it was a rare occurrence for him not to engage at least in small talk. Rachel did her best to start a conversation with him throughout the day but Kurt only had quick and short replies for everything.

"Hmmm…" Kurt nodded without looking at her, focusing fully on the TV screen.

"Did something happen? Have I done something?"

"No. It's not you. Just a lot on my mind…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Blaine got the offer from his label to record another album…"

"That's great! You should be happy about it."

"It is great. And I would be happy about it had he not declined it."

"He doesn't want to record another album? Why?"

"Because he wants his privacy back. Honestly, it's just ridiculous."

"I don't think it's ridiculous, Kurt," Rachel argued and Kurt finally tore his eyes from the TV to look at her.

"He's throwing away a great opportunity and you think it's not ridiculous?"

"It's his life. I don't mind people recognizing me but he basically lives under a rock because he's afraid of his fans. I can't blame him for not signing the contract."

"Well, I do. He's on top now. He loves music and he should keep going. What if he gets bored after a while and changes his mind? They might not offer him another contract…"

"He is Blaine Anderson. If he changes his mind, he'll find someone who will take him under their wings."

"I still don't like it."

"You don't have to like it. Just support him. Imagine it was the other way around. Wouldn't you rather have Blaine back you up in your decision to quit your job instead of him pushing you to continue if you clearly don't want to do it anymore?"

"Damn, Rachel. I would rather have YOU back me up now! You're my best friend. You should be on my side."

"I'm on the side of reason. Blaine isn't comfortable with what fame brings along. It's a sensible decision."

"I wish he would talk to me about it though. He just mentioned it in passing and then dismissed the topic when I started to ask questions. He promised we would talk about it another time but I know he won't say a word unless I bring it up."

"Look, communication is very important in relationships but this is his job. It has nothing to do with you and he doesn't owe you anything when it comes down to it. You've been dating for a few months, it's not like you're married and his decision influences your life as well."

"It's been four months and I don't see us breaking up anytime soon!"

"I didn't mean it like that. Jesus, Kurt! Don't be so touchy about it! What I meant is that Blaine knows what he's doing. You are his partner and you are supposed to support him. That's all."

"I'm worried he'll regret it…"

"Well, sometimes we make bad decisions. It's natural. None of us knows what the future will be like. Right now he wants to quit. Allow him to do it without making him feel guilty."

Kurt didn't say another word and returned to watching TV. Without having to actually see it, he knew Rachel was wearing a smug face. She always did when he stopped fighting her, admitting she was right.

His relationship with Blaine was miles away from the one he had with Adam. While Adam took him to every single work event possible and spent a lot of his time improving himself and chasing a bright future, Blaine was the complete opposite. Adam's attitude bothered him but so did Blaine's. He didn't find either extreme plausible.

Blaine had told him about his intention of leaving his pop singer career the first time they hung out but he never mentioned it after that and Kurt couldn't shake off the feeling that he was partially the reason for such a decision. Blaine's irrational need to keep them private, to keep his whole life private was influencing everything he did but was there something Kurt could do about it? Yes. He could support Blaine and offer his opinion if Blaine asked for it.

Kurt loved Blaine with every fiber of his being and his happiness was Kurt's priority. If Blaine wasn't fully happy in his current pop star mode, why was Kurt so adamant to persuade him to stay in the business?

Another thing Kurt had to take into consideration was that Blaine hadn't told him much about the issue. Not signing the contract didn't have to automatically mean that he didn't want to make music anymore.

"I should probably wait and see how it all turns out…"

"You definitely should," Rachel nodded. "I have to get ready for work. Don't think too much about it, okay? Blaine is a big boy. He knows his decisions have consequences."

"Before you go, I need a favor."

"I thought my debts had all been paid when I introduced you to Blaine!"

"I'm not holding anything against you, I just need your help. As your best friend and roommate I'd like to ask you to spend Sunday night somewhere else...I know it's a bit much but I've never asked you to do it and I would really appreciate if I could have the apartment for myself."

"Blaine still refuses to have sex while I'm around?"

"Well, it makes him uncomfortable…"

"Why don't you just spend the night in the penthouse?"

"I want to cook dinner and surprise him...it's not possible to do that while he's at home."

"I guess I could go out with the girls on Sunday after the show. I can stay the night with one of them. When am I supposed to come back?"

"Late Monday morning, preferably noon..." Kurt answered with a big smile.

"Okay. I'll come mid afternoon. I'll text you an hour before I come home. I don't want to walk in on anything inappropriate you two might be doing."

"Thanks, Rach! I owe you!"

"Yeah, after years it's you who finally owes me," Rachel laughed and disappeared in her room.

When it came to the meeting with his team, Blaine never dared to hope it might be cut short. It usually took even longer than the time they reserved for it. Being released a whole thirty minutes before the appointment was supposed to be over initially, Blaine literally ran away from his manager's office in case Annie changed her mind and called him back. His steps led directly to the theatre. He needed to talk to Wes and now, when he was absolutely sure about what he was going to do after the tour was over, was the best time to approach his former director in the matter.

It was ten minutes after the show he once starred in started and Wes was in his office dealing with some papers. The frown on his face vanished as soon as he spotted Blaine at the door. He pushed papers aside and hurried to hug his friend, happy to see him again.

"I didn't expect you to show up, man! What brings you here? Is Kurt with you?"

"No. He's with his college friends tonight. I just got out of Annie's office early so I thought I would stop by…"

"Do you want me to sneak you in the audience?"

"No. I'm not here to see the show. I'm here to see you, actually."

"Well, then sit down," Wes returned to his chair and Blaine made himself comfortable on the old couch Wes kept in his office. "I suppose this isn't just a friendly visit, is it?"

"Oh, it is a friendly visit...but I'd like to talk business first if you don't mind."

"I don't. How can I help you?"

"The summer tour is the last thing I'm gonna do as a singer. I'd like to take a few weeks off and then I'd love to get back to my roots."

"You want me to spread the word that you'll be available in Autumn?"

"No. I just wanted to ask if you know about any plans producers may have for the end of the year...I'll do the rest. Is there something I could shoot for?"

"It depends...Most of the shows premier late summer or early fall this year and as far as I know, they're all fully casted by now."

"So I guess I'll have to wait till next year."

"Do you remember Josh Worz?"

"Yes. He almost convinced me to change Broadway for West End. I really liked him."

"He is in New York. He wants to do Cyrano de Bergerac. I don't know much about it but I heard that he can't find Christian. If you wouldn't mind not playing the male lead, you should give him a call…"

"I will. Thank you, Wes."

"For how long do you plan to stick with Broadway?"

"Undetermined."

"Annie must be thrilled. Schedule queen got no schedule? I wish I was there when you told her."

"She still thinks I'm gonna change my mind about signing a new contract with my label."

"Wait, they offered you a new contract and you didn't sign it?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to do this anymore, Wes," Blaine sighed. "I'm frustrated. I need to step away from it all and blend with the crowd for a while. Which I can't do if I'm afraid of the crowd. I didn't mind being imprisoned in my own home that much before but since I met Kurt I feel like I'm missing on lot of things just because of my irrational fear. If I stay in this business, I'll never be able to have a normal life with a normal relationship."

"I don't think running away from it is going to solve your personal issues, Blaine."

"You sound like Nick and Jeff."

"Well, with the tone you used, right now I don't know if I should be offended or not," Wes chuckled and Blaine smiled at him, leaving the frown behind.

"Honestly, I'm at a loss when it comes to solving my personal issues and this seems to be a good start."

"It might be a good start, I don't doubt that. But you're throwing away a great opportunity. Think about it carefully. You don't want to regret your decision later."

The main reason why Blaine appreciated Wes was that he never tried to push him. He simply stated his opinion and let Blaine take his words into consideration or not. Conversation about Blaine's future was over and Blaine gladly accepted Wes invitation for a drink at his apartment.

It was nice to hang out with his old friend again. It helped him get rid of uneasy thoughts that had been occupying his mind for way too long. Sometimes Blaine felt like they were never going to disappear, like they were imprinted in his mind and it was hopeless to even try to shake them off. There was one in particular he hated the most - Do something with your stupid fear or Kurt is gonna leave you.

Although Kurt never gave him any reason to doubt their relationship, Blaine was regularly haunted by anxiety. He refused to acknowledge it might be a problem he couldn't get himself out of on his own. He wanted to prove to others, but mostly to himself, that his weakness was something that could be easily overcome. Nothing in life comes easily, though. Blaine spent endless hours contemplating his issues and what to do with them, how to get to the place where he could finally be satisfied with the way he lived. Each time, he narrowed it down to one option - he needed to step out of the public eye. Anonymity was the conclusion, and maybe he should give up on Broadway for a while as well, but right now he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. He would go crazy if there was nothing to work on. He needed to be active, to be a part of something. Maybe what he needed was a change in his career in general but it was a bit too much on top of what he had in stock already.

Time spent with Wes, as pleasant as it was, didn't help him to fall asleep without worrying. Only the late night text from Kurt, reminding him that Kurt loved him, eased his mind and he could peacefully close his eyes.

The scent of candles, Kurt's soft smile and the pleasant ache in his body was the unmistakable evidence that he wasn't dreaming. He could still feel Kurt's lips all over his body and hear his words of love said between deep thrusts that made Blaine surrender to the absolute pleasure of becoming the one with the one.

"What are you thinking of, my love?" Instead of responding, Blaine just watched his boyfriend for a while. Kurt was lying on his stomach, his head resting on his folded arms, looking at Blaine with adoration. Blaine raised his hand and ran his fingers through Kurt's hair, before he leaned in for a kiss.

"I like your thoughts," Kurt whispered against Blaine's lips, sighing happily when Blaine deepened the kiss.

"Come with me to LA on Thursday."

"Blaine..."

"After what we did tonight, I can't imagine being without you for a few hours, much less three whole days. Please, come with me."

"I wish I could. I'd love to go with you, you know that but I have a scheduled interview on Friday. I have to work."

"I can't wait for this to be over," Blaine sighed. "I hate leaving you."

"It's your job, sweetie. I'm not thrilled that you'll be gone a lot more come February but there's nothing we can do about it. I'll come with you to Chicago next month."

Blaine nodded, sending a small smile Kurt's way. Three days. Three whole days without him. Blaine was positive he would go crazy. If he had his way, they wouldn't leave Kurt's bed for a week. Their time together was a treasure, now more than ever.

"When the tour is over, I'm gonna be in New York all the time. I talked to Wes and he gave me some hints about who I should talk to to get back on Broadway."

"You didn't change your mind about the contract then?" Kurt asked, rolling himself on his side so he could face Blaine better. Blaine bit his lower lip and shook his head no. He took Kurt's hand in his, playing with Kurt's fingers before he spoke again.

"I know you don't like it and I get why...but I have to do it. I don't feel good living like this, Kurt. I need to do something before I become a mental case. I need a break from this lifestyle. I know what I'm doing. I really thought it through, okay?"

"You don't owe me any explanation, Blaine. It's your career. I'm sorry I pushed you the other day. It's not my place to state my opinion when it's not needed."

"No, Kurt. I always appreciate your honesty. You're my boyfriend and your opinion is important to me. But I've made my decision and there is nothing that can change it."

"I love you. I'm your boyfriend and I'm here to support you. Whatever you decide to do, I'm here, right by your side."

"Thank you."

"Come here," Kurt freed his hand from Blaine's and wrapped it around Blaine's waist, bringing him closer for a sweet kiss. He hoped it would ease the little frown that occupied Blaine's beautiful features during the conversation. They had made love and Kurt only wanted the night to be remembered by happiness and love. Anything else was irrelevant at the moment. Heavy discussion could be held the next day. Right now, he had the man he loved in his arms and he was going to take advantage of it. There were three days of missing kisses they had to make up for in advance after all.

They were half asleep, Blaine's head on Kurt's chest and their legs entwined under the cover when Kurt mumbled quietly: "Next time we're doing it the other way. Wanna feel you inside me…"

It was three o'clock in the morning. Considering it was around midnight when Kurt surrendered to dreamland, Blaine had a lot of time to think - think and stare at the ceiling. He tried to calm down but it was pointless. He was freaking out. His mind was full of thoughts he struggled to sort out. He was not ready for this. He couldn't do it. However, not doing it would mean disappointing Kurt and that was unacceptable. His heart kept beating wildly refusing to slow down and his breathing was shallow. Tired and overwhelmed, he knew what was coming. He got out of the bed as quickly as possible without waking Kurt up. He grabbed his clothes scattered all over the floor and slowly closed the door to Kurt's bedroom, hastily leaving the apartment in the undeniable need for fresh air.

Getting his heart and breathing under control wasn't easy. He stood in front of Kurt's building for eons until he was able to hail a cab. He gave the driver his address and only after the cab pulled away, he realized that he left Kurt alone, without a single word of explanation. His hands started to shake and alongside the feeling of nausea and quick pulse, he felt like we was going to faint any minute.

For how long, after what he'd just done, would Kurt be willing to deal with him? How was he going to explain to his boyfriend why he abruptly left in the middle of the night? How was he supposed to admit that Kurt's request freaked him out? How was he getting out of this mess without spilling the beans? Was it the last nail in the coffin of their relationship? Was the end he was dreading really that close?

Coming home didn't have a soothing effect he'd expected. He paced the floor in the living room, playing with his phone. There was no other way but to make the phone call. The call wouldn't be pleasant at all but he was at loss and no better option came to his mind.

"Hel-"

"D-Dad?" Blaine choked out before Fredrick had a chance to finish his greeting.

"Blaine? Son, are you okay?"

"He's gonna leave me, dad! Not someday but now. I knew it would happen from the very beginning but I thought I could earn more time. I screwed up, Dad. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't wanna lose him. I don't...Oh god! What have I done? I can't lose him. I can't! I can't lo-"

"Blaine!" Frederick shouted to stop his rambling son. "You need to calm down. Breathe with me, okay? In and out, in and out...That's it. Just like that. In and out. In and out. Keep going, buddy..." Blaine closed his eyes and let his father's voice soothe him. His lungs finally decided to cooperate and it wasn't so hard to breathe anymore. Though the tears were still streaming down his face, his sobs subdued.

"Where are you? Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I want you to go outside. We are going to talk but I need you to be on the terrace. Can you go there for me?"

"Yes."

"Great. I know it's cold outside but we don't want you to go to panic mode again. The chill will help you clear your head. Are you there yet?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Now, I'm gonna ask you questions and you are gonna answer me. Did you and Kurt have a fight?"

"No."

"Did Kurt tell you or suggest in any way that he is about to break up with you?"

"No."

"Do you guys have problems you can't figure out?"

"No."

"Well, I guess we don't get far like this," Frederick sighed and Blaine could feel his frustration. "Can you tell me what happened? But go slowly. I'm here, I'm listening, no need to rush."

"I left him. We were sleeping in his apartment and I left. Like an hour ago. Without saying a word. I left my sleeping boyfriend in the middle of the night because I'm stupid and weak and outright fucked up."

"Blaine, I suppose there was a reason why you abandoned your sleeping boyfriend."

"Because I can't give him what he wants from me..."

"You can't give him what he wants from you or what you THINK he wants from you?"

Blaine leaned his back against the wall and looked at New York laying right in front of him. Full of lights and somehow peaceful, a couple hours before the dawn. There were endless possibilities to enjoy life in this city. There was so much New York had to offer and Blaine hadn't experienced one shred of it despite living there for almost five years. His living spaces consisted of his penthouse, loft, Nick's and Jeff's apartment, the theater - if he was involved in one, and Kurt's apartment as of late. A bit pathetic for someone who was living in the city that never sleeps.

"I'm so tired of everything, dad. I'm stuck in my own head, always afraid and expecting the worst. I feel like a coward all the time. I'm afraid of my own shadow. I don't like who I've become. This is not me. I want out but I don't know how."

"Son, don't you think it's time to get back to her? You don't seem to get any better on your own. You just push all your problems to the side and as the time passes, they become bigger and bigger. As much as I'd love to tell you everything's gonna be alright, I can't do that. It's not a weakness to ask for help, Blaine."

"I know."

"Then why don't you?"

"I will."

"You're gonna call her the first thing in the morning, right? What time is it in New York? Almost five in the morning if I count correctly."

"Yeah."

"Okay. In a few hours you are calling me again to let me know how it all turned out. If she can't or won't take you back, we'll find someone else."

"What am I supposed to do with Kurt?"

"Tell him the truth, Blaine. All of it. Because I have a feeling you haven't been completely honest with your boyfriend. Maintaining a working relationship means showing your weaknesses and fears too. He needs to know what is going on in that stubborn head of yours."

"He won't like what's going on in there..."

"You have to trust him. He has a right to make a decision after he sees the whole picture."

"He is everything, dad."

"Then make sure he knows that."

I'm sorry I left. I'll talk to you later. - B

Kurt's alarm clock showed 5:10 when he woke up to the strange coldness and lack of the warm body which had been laying next to him. He was confused at first, called for Blaine a few times, but he didn't get any response. Something was terribly wrong. He looked for his boyfriend, searched the whole place twice just in case he missed Blaine's sleeping form somewhere in the apartment and as he was about to start his third round, his eyes fell on the rack in the hallway. There was only one coat hanging there. Kurt was the only person in the apartment.

He rushed back to his room, grabbing his phone to call Blaine but he only reached Blaine's voicemail y. He tried several times, with no luck. An hour later he got a stupid text. I'm sorry I left. I'll talk to you later. Kurt called again with the same result as before. He was being ignored. The anxiety and fear was replaced with anger and by ten he was furious. He turned off his phone, not caring what Blaine had to say to him anymore. He decided to go back to bed but instead of catching up on his sleep as he intended, he spent the next two hours staring at the wall, thinking about what caused Blaine's idiotic behavior.

He reminisced every single detail of their evening. He was positive Blaine had loved it. They'd talked about what they wanted and everything was consensual. The way Blaine had fallen apart under Kurt's body was absolutely amazing and Kurt would have noticed even the slightest doubt if Blaine had had any. He hadn't. What the hell happened, then? Staring at the wall brought no epiphany. Kurt reached for his phone, to turn it on again so he could try to contact his boyfriend once more but his movement was interrupted by a knock on the door.

It was no surprise for Kurt to see Blaine standing on his doorstep. He must have looked very pissed because Blaine instinctively took a step back as soon as he spotted him.

"Hi," he said timidly. "Can I come in?" Kurt nodded and turned his back to Blaine, heading to the living room. Blaine found him sitting on the sofa, arms crossed at his chest. He looked around, not sure what was the appropriate thing to do. He had a speech all prepared in his head. He had a clear vision of what he wanted to discuss with Kurt. Facing him took all of his courage, though.

"I-Is Rachel...uhm...is Rachel here?" he stammered out after few moments of deafening silence.

"Not yet."

"Could we maybe talk in your room? I don't want to be interrupted."

"Okay," Kurt said curtly, stood up and without sparing a glance at Blaine, he walked away. Blaine followed him, already anticipating the worst possible scenario - the break up. If Blaine felt coldness in the living room, Kurt's room was the North Pole. Kurt wouldn't look at him or acknowledge his presence in any form. Blaine sat down on a chair behind Kurt's desk, turning his body towards Kurt who was laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry is not going to cut it, Blaine."

"I know. But I'm still sorry."

"Sorry for what? For leaving like a ghost, without a trace? For ignoring me all morning? Sorry for what happened yesterday? What exactly are you sorry for? Because I tried to come up with some reason and I failed. I have no idea why you would do something like that. We made love, Blaine. It meant something to me. It meant everything to me! And hours later, I woke up to an empty bed and the only explanation I got was a fucking vague text!"

"I screwed up, Kurt. I'd screwed up long before I met you and I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess."

"Really? That's what you came here for? To tell me I got unwillingly dragged into some mess?"

"Just hear me out. Then you can decide what's going to happen next. Please, Kurt, just hear me out."

"I'm listening. But I warn you, Blaine. I'm not in the mood for some bullshit. So either spill everything there is, or leave. I don't want half truths and secrets anymore."

"I didn't like what had become of my life after the accident in the mall," Blaine started to speak quickly, grateful for the opportunity Kurt gave him. "I was sheltered and I used to blame circumstances to somehow keep my integrity untouched. I accepted the fact that this is how my life would be if I wanted to stay a public figure and there was nothing I could do about it. Then you came into my life and everything changed. Even before we got together you made me want things...to experience a lot with you. I tried to get past my fears. I did, but it's too damn hard to do it.

When I had the panic attack at the mall, I locked myself in my apartment and didn't leave it for three weeks. I cancelled all my appearances. Annie almost had a heart attack and my team had to come up with a good cover story so the media wouldn't blow it out of portion. I was content to stay like that for a long time. Of course, Nick and Jeff had to ruin it and they slowly little by little got me into the state I was in when we met. The two of them ganged up on me with my parents and Cooper and I had to promise to seek help. I started seeing this therapist. She was nice, but firm, and she knew exactly how to hit the sore spot. I only went there for five or six sessions and she was pushing and pushing. The more she pushed, the more defensive I became. I didn't open up. She accused me of being dishonest. She told me I was afraid to get under the surface and I stopped seeing her. I didn't let her help me because I was afraid. I liked my bubble and I didn't want to pop it.

I have too many issues to work on. Firstly, I shouldn't have started a relationship when I didn't know how to be myself..."

The last sentence shot Kurt up. He finally made eye contact with Blaine, his body tense.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I let my insecurities and unresolved issues influence this relationship and it's not fair to you."

"I don't understand..."

"You wanna know why I left? Because I was on the verge of panic. I didn't want you to see me like that - when I can't catch my breath and feel hopeless and utterly useless."

"Did you have a nightmare? What caused the panic?"

"I didn't sleep at all, Kurt. I was panicking about what you said before you fell asleep."

"What did I say? That I love you? I've been telling you for a whole month and you are panicking about it now?"

"You said you wanted me to be inside you the next time."

"Oh...You don't want to? That's why you panicked? Blaine, it's ridiculous! All you have to do is tell me you're not okay with something and that's it! I'm not gonna bite your head off for it. Jesus! All of this just because you don't want to top?"

"No," Blaine shook his head. "It's not that I don't want to. I can't do it. I can't take that from you."

"Take what from me?"

"You were with Adam for years and you didn't do it. We haven't been together for six months yet and you already want to give that to me."

"Slow down. I'm so confused right now. What the hell are we talking about? How did Adam even got into this conversation?"

"I freaked out. I really want everything with you, Kurt. I do but...God, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"I still don't understand what's going on, Blaine. Have I done something? Why did you leave me? I'm apparently missing something very important in this puzzle but I can't figure out what. Will you please tell me what's this all about?"

"Since we got together, there was a countdown. I didn't see us making it in the long haul. Not because I didn't want to but because I don't think I'm worth it.

I have this idea of how the relationship should look, how it should be and this, you and me, is not even a half of what I want to have. I can't get rid of the feeling that sooner or later you're gonna leave me because I'm not what you want.

I'm too scared and I let my insecurities run my life. I always think of the worst possibility. Sometimes I hate myself for being so weak. I'm literally just waiting for you to realize that this isn't working.

That's why I'm so adamant in not showing you off. If people knew about you, it would turn your life upside down and for what? For a few months with me? Not worth it. I'm not gonna put you through that…

When it comes to intimacy, I'm comfortable doing everything you did previously. Trying new things means taking away something from you. I don't want you to ever regret being with me... A few years from now, when you find what you need, I want you to look at this relationship fondly, not with regret that you lost something you can't share with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with."

"Blaine," Kurt gaped at him and Blaine had to close his eyes because he couldn't bear the disappointment and frustration on Kurt's face.

"You deserve so much better than being locked in one of our apartments, Kurt. And I know you told me you don't need dates outside and walks in park but it's how I always imagined my relationship to be. This whole mess is all about me and I'm aware of that. Rationally, I know it's me who is ruining us but I can't help it. I can't escape these feelings of anxiety and fear. I feel insecure and frustrated all the time. This is me and my inability to work things out. I'm also being selfish. Despite waiting for you to break up with me, I'm clinging onto this relationship instead of letting you go to find your happiness somewhere else…

It's a circle. When I feel like I finally take a step ahead, I take two steps back the next day. I thought I could get better on my own. I thought I could get my life back if I tried but I can't. I'm too deep in this shit to beat it without any help.

When I went home this morning, I hit a breaking point. I called my dad with an exact intention. I needed him to tell me to get help. He did and I promised him that I would. I called the therapist and thankfully, she is willing to try it again with me. She had some conditions though. She sent me a schedule of my sessions and she told me she didn't care how I make it work but if I'm serious about getting better, I will be there. I had to tell my team that no matter where I was supposed to be, I need to be in the city once a week at a certain time. We got into a big fight with Annie. I insisted on changing my schedule and she urged me to cancel everything with the therapist and start with this after the tour is over."

"Did you listen to her?"

"No. I told her that she could either make it work or I could cancel the whole tour. I would, you know. I'm sick and tired and the main reason I became this is that I couldn't handle my popularity. I'm done. I thought about it...about us... and this is not fair to you. It's all in my head and you suffer because I'm dumb."

"I don't like the direction you're taking this...Why do I feel like this is just a prolonged version of I'm breaking up with you, it's not you but me."

"There are three options when it comes to us and whatever you choose, I'll respect that. Please, don't take me into consideration. I need you to decide what you really want."

"If I don't like any of your options, can I suggest mine?"

"Yeah," Blaine nodded and then he tilted his head back, unable to look at Kurt. "The first option is that we break up because this is just too much and you are not obliged to deal with my shit. I'm gonna get better. I swear I will but I have no idea how much time it'll take. I can't promise it'll be in a month. Hell, I can't promise it'll be in a year. So if you don't want to wait, it's okay. I understand. I," Blaine took a deep breath, praying he wouldn't start crying until he finished. "I just hope we can still be friends. The second option is that we take a break. I'll get better and, if I'm lucky enough, you'll be single after I come back to myself and we can start again - with a clean slate. The third option is that we stay together and we'll see how it all turns out..."

Blaine left his eyes closed, waiting for Kurt's decision. He heard the rustling of the sheet and a second later his chair was moving. He was rolled with the chair as Kurt slid to the edge of the bed and settled Blaine in between his legs. He cupped Blaine's cheeks and wiped away few tears that couldn't help but escape from Blaine's watery eyes.

"Can I talk now?" Kurt asked softly, not giving Blaine a chance to say anything before he carried on. "I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I could make it better but I'm afraid I can't. I can't convince you that I really, really want to be with you, and just you, if you're stuck up in your head. I'm not going to. This is your life you're not satisfied with and whatever brings you happiness, I'm on board. Even if it means I don't get to keep you. For me, there is no other option than the third one. I'm not leaving you unless it's what you want. I love you, Blaine. I could go on and on about why I fell in love with you and what makes me love you more and more every passing day but I don't think it's necessary since your mind is determined to sabotage everything positive I say. I have just one question: From those three options, which one do you prefer the most?"

"The one where I can keep you…" Blaine whispered, gathering the last bits of strength he had. "I love you. I'm sorry I ruined last night. I'm sorry I can't -"

"Shhh…" Kurt put his finger on Blaine's lips to stop him from talking. "Stop beating yourself up for things that are out of your hands. We'll get you back to where you want to be, okay? Together."

"Okay."

"Did you sleep at all? You look exhausted."

"I couldn't…"

"Let's take a nap then. You need to rest. We can talk more later, when you aren't so tired." Blaine just nodded, too weak to do anything else. Kurt helped him get out of his clothes and tugged him under the covers. He lay down next to him and wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist securely, kissing Blaine's temple while his fingers played with the curls at the nape of his neck.

"Thank you for being understanding," Blaine murmured and yawned.

"Thank you for being honest with me," Kurt responded. "Don't worry about anything, my love. Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."