Nick was already waiting for Kurt in their favorite bar, two glasses of beer in front of him, when Kurt rushed inside, aware of being late.

"I'm so sorry, Nick. Rachel was being difficult and I couldn't get out of my own apartment. I swear, one day she'll be the reason for me being sentenced for murder!"

"What did she do?"

"She got an offer to teach improv classes in NYADA. Their current teacher is leaving for Hollywood. She wanted to discuss her curriculum…"

"She wasn't really interested in your opinion, was she?"

"Not at all. We got into a fight. I called her out on her bullshit and she threw a fit. I hope she'll calm down by tomorrow."

"You can still stay with Blaine or me and Jeff while she is pissed."

"Thanks, Nick, but I'm not going to let her stubbornness kick me out of my apartment." Kurt took a sip of his beer and then he played with his phone for a few seconds before showing it to Nick.

"Look," he said proudly. "I have the Blaine file."

"Kurt, god, I'm so, so sorry." Nick started to apologize but Kurt interrupted him.

"Stop it, Nick. I have twenty mails in my inbox proving that you are sorry. You don't have to be, though. I was out of line as well…You're his best friend, of course you wouldn't have done anything to hurt him."

"I was mad...I tend to be mean when I drink and someone pushes my limits."

"I guess I'm not the first one you've taken your frustration out on."

"No. How do you know?"

"Jeff and Blaine acted like nothing happened so I kind of figured out that it's nothing new for them."

"I told Cooper much worse things two years ago than I told you at the party."

"Cooper?"

"Yeah. He was really overprotective after he found out about the panic attack Blaine had had at the mall. One day Jeff and I were fooling around and being irresponsible, but we wouldn't have done anything that could possibly have a negative outcome to Blaine. Cooper didn't think it was that funny and we got into a fight. He was just looking out for his brother. The same way you were looking out for your boyfriend. You did nothing wrong."

"I'm glad Blaine has such a great friend, Nick. We did the exact same thing. I snapped at you, you snapped at me. I think we could settle this as something we are both sorry about and let it go." Nick handed Kurt his phone back and stayed silent. He was frowning, clearly not happy about Kurt's suggestion and for a while Kurt thought he was going to get another piece of Nick's mind.

"You know what hurt the most about it? That you assumed I could do something harmful to him?"

"No."

"That you were right."

"What? Nick, no. I wasn't. I was…"

"No, Kurt. I did it before. I did things that hurt him without thinking about it first. You were right to be protective of him."

"Okay, I'm not going to pretend that I know what you are talking about. What the hell, Nick?"

"When we came to the city together, Blaine was a bit different. He was full of life and he was so happy. We went out almost every night, we met lot of new people and I forced him into dating. He was single, other guys were lusting for him and I didn't see anything wrong about it. He had several dates that didn't end up well. Then he got cast on Broadway and he wanted to focus on his career only, but I still continued setting him up with guys. Jeff told me not to do it, but I was adamant. Blaine wasn't one for hook ups as we were, and I was on a mission to find him someone so he wouldn't be alone. Turns out that none of my candidates were interested in having a relationship with Blaine. They either wanted sex or an audition. They never really went out with him for him but for an advantage that could come with him. Eighty percent of Blaine's failed relationships are my fault. The way Blaine is now, it's my fault. All his insecurities and loss of faith in people is all my fault."

"You do realize how crazy this is, right?"

"It's not crazy. I did it to him. And it took Blaine being completely broken until I finally gave up. Since then, I think twice whether I do something that concerns him."

"None of it is your fault, Nick. Blaine was an adult. He made his choices. He could have said no to those dates…"

"You know he can't say no…"

"But he still had a chance to. You tried to make him happy. You knew he wanted to be with someone; to have a boyfriend to share his life with. So you did your best to give it to him. If you had known how it would end, you wouldn't have introduced him to those guys. You didn't hurt him on purpose."

"It was my idea to go to the mall where he got cornered…"

"What does that have to do with you setting him up on dates?"

"Nothing. It was just another thing I did that hurt him."

"Jesus, Nick! That's bullshit."

"He stopped dating and signed the album contract. His career escalated from that point. Suddenly he wasn't just a break-out Broadway star, but a pop star as well. He used to go out with us but there were always fans that wanted to talk to him or have something signed. I don't know why I thought it would be a great idea to go to the mall. I brought him to a place with hundreds of people."

"Nick, he could have said no. And you didn't make those people corner him."

"Jeff went to the restroom. We agreed to meet in a bookstore because Blaine wanted to buy a book. I left him there alone. I needed to check on something in a video game store and I LEFT him alone, Kurt. I was so stupid. By the time I came back, he was already on the verge of panic. What kind of a friend I was?"

"Did he ever blame you for what happened?"

"No."

"Then why the guilt trip?"

"I don't know. I was the one who put him through hell, Kurt."

"Not intentionally."

"No, but I still did. It's different now. I am really careful but at the party you seemed to be convinced that I would do something stupid again and it pissed me off."

"Nick, it wasn't personal. I would have snapped at Jeff had he tried to take a picture. Blaine is doing his best to keep me secret. I just go with that."

"You know why he does that, right?"

"Yeah, of course. It's not ideal for him be in a relationship with someone out of business. It would give him more bad publicity than good…"

"Are you serious?" Nick asked, resentful. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"Not really...to be honest, not at all."

"Blaine doesn't give a shit about good or bad publicity. He is trying to protect you. He knows the moment your name is out there, things will get complicated and he doesn't want you to run away."

"Why would I run away?"

"Look, I know him. He is still insecure about your relationship and he needs to be sure you are going to stay when all hell breaks loose."

"Of course I'm going to stay!"

"You have no idea what you are about to deal with, Kurt."

"And he does? He never had a boyfriend! How does he know what will happen?"

"We've already been there."

"Could you be more specific?" Kurt urged him. He was uneasy. Blaine never talked about this. If his boyfriend was afraid of Kurt leaving him, then Kurt wasn't a good boyfriend at all. What kind of vibe was he sending to Blaine?

"When Blaine's first album came out, it got to the top ten immediately. He became a star from one day to another and people were trying to get to know more about him. It was constant interest from press and fans and it was exhausting. Jeff and I often accompanied him to the events. Two months later, there were fights on the internet about who he was dating. We had our twitter spammed by questions, stupid remarks, insults...don't even get me started on what was going on on Tumblr. People were arguing about who would be better for him. They dug up information about us from the Dalton web page and old youtube accounts of the Warblers...There were even people who thought we were in some kind of weird threesome relationship because we were living together. Suddenly, the show I was in at the moment was sold out three months in advance, but as it turned out, half of the audience just hoped to see Blaine supporting his boyfriend. We laughed it off, the whole situation was just ridiculous, but it is going to be different with you actually being his boyfriend. I didn't care that people hated me because they'd rather have seen him with Jeff. I didn't mind getting pictures of Blaine and Jeff looking at each other as proof of what true love looks like...It didn't matter because none of it was true. I don't know if I would have been so cool about it if I was the one dating him. They even found some old pictures of him and Sebastian and then it was three groups of people fighting about who was a better match for Blaine."

"Who is Sebastian?"

"Blaine's boyfriend from Dalton. I thought you knew about him."

"I know about him but Blaine never said a name."

"Oh…" Nick halted a bit. There must have been a reason Blaine hadn't shared this information with Kurt and Nick wasn't sure how much he could actually tell.

"Okay, so this Sebastian guy was dragged into the mess as well?"

"Yeah...but it's not important. What I'm trying to say is that when you get to the point of people writing smutty fanfiction about you, you know that they are taking it a little too far."

Kurt watched Nick with opened eyes. He was so casual about it, speaking about his experience as it was nothing uncommon. Like it happened to people all the time. Kurt was still in an adapting phase of his relationship with Blaine. He needed to figure out how to adjust to all Blaine's work activities and trips out of the city while building their romance to something strong and permanent. For as much as Kurt knew, he wanted strong and permanent. It wasn't until now when he realized that there was a gap in communication between them. Kurt didn't want to push Blaine. That's why he never really expressed his thoughts about them as a steady couple. On the other hand, as it turned out, it made Blaine worry about Kurt's dedication to their relationship.

"I'm not going to leave him, Nick. Come hell or high water. I don't care about insults or people thinking I'm not a good match for Blaine. I'll be with him until Blaine himself tells me not to."

"You love him, don't you?"

"I do." Kurt answered simply without missing a beat.

"We've never seen him as happy as he is with you, Kurt. He might not say it but he loves you too."

"I'm not sure he's quite there yet. For now he cares about me and wants to be with me and that's all that matters."

Jeff wasn't a good observer. He was a bit thoughtless to small changes because life was too complex for him to pay attention to every single detail. But when he threw himself on the sofa in Blaine's living room a week after the Halloween party, he knew something was different. His eyes fell on the medium size photo frame on the shelf next to Blaine's big plasma TV. It was proudly standing in the middle of other's photos Blaine had there and Jeff knew very well, since he'd been the one to force Blaine to make a photo shelf in the first place three years ago. Blaine had never added another photo there.

"You extended your photo collection."

"I did."

"Nick!" Jeff shouted so his best friend could hear him in the kitchen. "Come here!"

Nick quickly grabbed the sandwich he was making for himself and hurried to see where the fire was.

"Look!" Jeff pointed his finger on the shelf. "Blaine has a photo of him and Kurt!"

"That's a really good shot." Nick said with a grin. "I wonder who the photographer was. You should thank them for catching that beautiful moment between two lovers."

"Thank you, Nick, for catching that beautiful moment. Now, can we put the movie on or do you want to ogle the picture some more?"

"Hey! Why are you like this? You don't have to be grumpy!"

"I'm not grumpy, Jeff."

"Well, your tone was."

"I'm sorry. I just don't see what the big deal is. It's one photo."

"I made that shelf and you never added anything there. It is a big deal, Blaine. And it's cute that you and Kurt want to have couple pictures in your homes."

"It's just one photo. It might be gone in a few weeks…"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"No matter how many pictures of me and Kurt are in this apartment, they say nothing about the relationship."

"Are you two okay? Is something going on between the two of you?" Nick asked.

"We are. For now."

"I'm lost." Jeff shook his head, looking at Blaine as he was crazy. "What is this about, man? You have an amazing boyfriend who is perfect for you."

"I know. I know, okay?"

"Then what is wrong?"

"He might meet someone else...I mean, he broke up with Adam because he put his work first. I am doing the same thing. We don't get to spend much time together...He might get bored or one day he might get enough and…"

"Shut up, Blaine! Kurt knew what he was signing up for when you started dating. He is not gonna leave you because of your job! And you know very well that Adam put all of his free time into work related stuff. You do just what you have to do. No crazy activities that would keep you away from him. Where is this coming from? How long have you been feeling like that?"

"Look, I take what I can. I'm really happy with him but I don't think it's gonna last forever. So for now, I'm going to enjoy our time together before he decides that I'm not what he wants anymore. I'm not stupid, guys."

"No, you're not stupid. You are far beyond idiotic, Blaine! You are afraid to admit your feelings for him that are much deeper than you ever assumed them to be. You are just scared that you might end up with a broken heart! I can't say you will last forever because I don't know that but thinking of breaking up when everything is fine? That's crazy!"

"Stop yelling at me, Jeff!"

"I stop yelling when you stop being a moron!"

"Calm down!" Nick shouted over their bickering and they both abated. "Blaine, I don't understand. I thought you were happy."

"I am. But I realize it's not a common relationship...We don't do things other couples do…"

"Like what?"

"Like going out on dates or walking in the park or...I don't know, just simple things that we can't do. He is okay with that now but it can change as the time passes by."

"Are you sure you can't do that?"

"I don't like your tone, Nick. I can hear you judging me."

"Well, I'm not going to hide it. I do judge you. You can do whatever you want. You're just a coward. I know you had a bad experience in the past in a public place but Blaine, it's been years. You don't have to be locked in here. This is New York. You're not the only celebrity living here. People walk the streets or hang out outside their homes and no one gives a damn about it. You are sheltered. And it's your own fault. You wanna be a better boyfriend for Kurt? Then do something about it. Don't wait until he leaves you. Make sure he'll never want to leave. Take a risk."

"It's not that simple, Nick."

"As soon as you stop complicating it, it'll be simple. It's your life. You have a guy you've always dreamt of. Let your relationship grow without hidden fears which you have no evidence for. Take one step at the time. Tell him you love him if you feel that way. He is not going to break up with you for any of the reasons you've just mentioned. But he might break up with you when he finds out you don't trust him."

"I do trust him. He knows that."

"You don't trust him enough to believe he won't hurt you in the long run."

"I think we should put the movie on. I really don't want to talk about this." Nick and Jeff exchanged concerned looks but stayed silent. There was a lot under the surface. Blaine was probably the most complex person they knew. The worst thing about it all was that every time they thought Blaine had made a progress with his insecurities, something new appeared and they were at the beginning again.

Sitting between Blaine's legs, his back against Blaine's chest and Blaine's arms securely around his waist, Kurt felt very content. He was reading a book while Blaine was watching a documentary about dolphins and everything was impeccable. Blaine placed a kiss on his cheek or the side of his neck once in a while and Kurt turned his head to peck his lips before diving into the story again.

Regardless of what Kurt thought, Blaine didn't pay any attention to the animals on the screen of his television. He'd been thinking a lot about his relationship with Kurt and the more he analyzed it, the more concerned he became. It had been little over two months. Two months of spending their time together in one of theirs apartments, often after dinner in exclusive restaurants. No hand holding or kissing, no hint of them being a couple outside their homes. A few events they had been at were more of a PR thing than something enjoyable and, besides the Halloween party, they hadn't done anything a 'normal' couple would do. Blaine was obsessed with that term. The man he was holding in his arms right now deserved to have everything his heart desired. And Blaine would love to give him that. He would absolutely love to do anything and everything to keep Kurt in his life as long as possible. But...Why did there always have to be but? And was this but worth holding back on something they both wanted? Blaine knew Kurt accepted his lifestyle. That didn't mean he liked it, though. How much time would it take for Kurt to get tired of doing the same things all over again? How much time until he would want to have a normal date? Like going to see a movie or having dinner somewhere less fancy but more Kurt?

Blaine tightened his arms around Kurt's slim body, protecting what was his, for now, from troublesome thoughts. He nuzzled his nose into the crook of Kurt's neck, breathing him in. He felt Kurt's jaw moving slowly where it was resting against his temple and without having to look he knew that Kurt was smiling. He also knew he was about to get a sweet kiss from his boyfriend.

"Is everything alright? You seem a little tense." Kurt asked, putting another small kiss on Blaine's lips to ease him a bit.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be all yours, okay?"

"Okay." And Kurt went back to reading, leaving Blaine to his nagging thoughts again.

"Is everything alright? You seem a little tense." Nick asked, watching his friend closely.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Give me fifteen minutes and I'll be all yours, okay?"

"Okay." Blaine nodded and Nick quickly left the bookstore, heading for the video game store. Blaine looked around anxiously. He had a bad feeling that someone was following them since they came to the mall but he didn't say a thing to his friends. They were in the mall, after all. It was crowded. Of course it felt like someone was right behind him. When his eyes fell on a group of teenage girls by the entrance, his distress increased. He'd seen a few of the girls a while ago as they were passing Starbucks on the second floor. The group got bigger and it seemed like they were waiting for someone. One of the girls raised her hand and waved to another group of teenagers and Blaine turned around to hide between shelves. He hoped no one would bother him with signing autographs this time. As much as he appreciated the support of his fans, he also didn't want to be their slave. And that's how he perceived the whole situation. He didn't have the strength to say no to them but slowly it started suffocating him. Wherever he went, he was afraid of people recognizing him and demanding his attention. He needed a break. He needed his life back.

Going to the backside part of the bookstore where the section of foreign language literature was, he made himself believe that no one would pursue him there. He took out a French version of The Misanthrope by Moliere in a leather cover, the birthday present for his father and decided to stay right where he was until one of his friends returned.

"Excuse me," a soft voice spoke, startling him. "Can I get your autograph?" Blaine closed his eyes to calm down a bit before facing a girl.

"Yeah, sure. What's your name?"

"Ellie." She handed him a notepad with pen and he scribbled down a few words.

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day, Ellie." He smiled at her, giving her the notepad back. She squealed and before Blaine could even blink, there were around twenty teenagers in between the shelves full of books, trying to get closer to him. Blaine stepped back until he was pressed against the wall, but it didn't help a bit because he suddenly have no way of escaping. The group of people was getting bigger and bigger and they were talking to him, some of them were pulling on his shirt to get some reaction out of him but all he concentrated on was his breathing. He wrapped his arms around his torso, frantically searching for the way out. He couldn't move left, he couldn't move right, he couldn't move forward and there was a wall behind him. He was trapped. His ears were ringing and his heart was throbbing in his chest wildly. His knees were weak but he refused to let himself sit down. He couldn't get on the ground. It would be a fatal mistake. The same mistake he had made years ago. The same mistake that had placed him and Tommy into the hospital. If he hadn't fallen on the ground then everything could have been different. If he had fought for a while longer...just a while longer and Tommy wouldn't have been injured so badly. He had to stand still now. He had to hold on. He couldn't give up. Not this time. He had to breathe. Why couldn't he get any air into his lungs?!

" . . !"

Nick! Nick was there! Blaine couldn't see him but he heard him and it was enough to compel himself to take a shallow breath. In and out, in and out, in and out…

"Jeff! Call the security! Jesus Christ, people! Move!" Nick finally managed to get to Blaine but the crowd locked them up again.

"If you don't let me pass, I'm calling the police!" Nick yelled but teenagers were on their mission to get close to Blaine Anderson and none of them were willing to give up. The security came then and helped Nick and Jeff escort Blaine into the car, using employee only areas of the mall.

Blaine was aware that he let his fears rein over his life. But after what had happened at the mall, he had no intention of repeating his experience. Much less let Kurt go through something like this. Would him being with Kurt stop people from mobbing them? Would Kurt's presence there be enough for him not to have a panic attack if such a thing happened again? He was at a loss. If he was ever going to take Kurt out 'normally', he would have to jump head first into it. There were no precautions he could take. He tried to find out how to do it safely but he couldn't come up with anything that would give him the right amount of protection he needed. The only place out of order was the coffee shop across the H&C House. He loved going there despite it being a very public place. He never got recognized there and if he did, people didn't come to him. And even if they would acknowledge him, it would be okay because the shop was small and there was no chance of a big crowd violating his personal space...Then there was a gas station on their way to Ohio. Another small place where he could sit on the hood of Kurt's car, licking an ice lolly without any fears. And Burt's garage. He'd spent the whole day on their visit to Ohio in the summer at Burt's workplace. Not too many people there, quite a small scope...The flower shop he'd gone to with Finn, not larger than ten square meters, able to engulf not more than three or four customers...Blaine snickered and shook his head. Of course there was a solution right in front of his nose all this time. He was just too blind to see it!

"Sweetie? You sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure. Finish your reading."

"You just snorted into my shoulder."

"It's nothing, honey. I promise."

"Two more pages and I'm done. Then we can talk about you being disconcerted."

"I'm not. Read your two pages." Kurt did so, hoping that Blaine would sooner or later admit what was on his mind.

"People are asking about you." Blaine said quietly when Kurt closed the book.

"What people?"

"Press, people on the internet, fans...They noticed you and they ask about you...Derek told me."

"Your publicist is doing a great job. He'll figure out how to keep me a secret for a while longer, don't worry."

"I just wanted you to know. I'll understand if you don't accompany me to the events anymore."

"What does Derek think about it?" Kurt asked, lacing his fingers with Blaine's.

"He ignores it for now. I don't go through my mentions on twitter and I can't read every single thing someone tweets me but apparently there are lots of questions about you. You know I post something every other day to be active on social networks but Derek deals with all responses. I don't do that. From what he told me, people are curious..."

"Do you want me to stop being your plus one?"

"No, I don't but I also won't force you into coming. It's up to you, Kurt. I really appreciate that you go with me occasionally but it's your privacy that is more important."

"If we don't announce my name, they have no way of knowing."

"Don't underestimate the power of fandom."

"Why? Are you afraid they'll write a porn about us?" Kurt teased him.

"Oh my god! Who told you?"

"Nick. The other day when we were at the pub. And he admitted you even read that stuff."

"I'm gonna kill him! I didn't read it! They got drunk and read it! Repeatedly! Not me!"

"I was just kidding, sweetie. Nick told me what you guys went through and I know what I can expect once my name is out there. I'm not afraid of it."

"I need you to be sure. The more you'll be seen with me, the more they'll be trying to find out who you are."

"I don't care, Blaine. We are together. I'm your boyfriend and I'm going to support you and accompany you no matter what. That's what boyfriends do."

"You don't have to, though. Okay? If you don't feel like it, I won't force you. I know how you hate those events, honey."

"You don't love them either. And you don't drag me with you for every single one of them. I'm okay with how we work together. Don't worry." Kurt turned around and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck, kissing him softly. Blaine returned the kiss but Kurt could tell he wasn't really into it.

"There is something more that is bothering you." Kurt stated, pulling away from Blaine to look at him.

"I want to take you out on a date." Blaine replied timidly. "Can I pick you up tomorrow after the glee club in front of H&C house?"

"I don't know, Blaine. I don't feel like going there in a suit. Why don't you pick me up at home?"

"No suit this time. Dress code is casual."

"No fancy dinner?"

"No."

"What are we doing then?"

"You'll see tomorrow." Blaine said without any intention of giving away his plans. He leaned forward to press his lips against Kurt's and it was no wonder when they ended up naked and sweaty in a bundle of their bodies, this time Blaine diving completely into what they were doing.