Kurt went home for Thanksgiving alone. Blaine stayed in New York because Paul wanted him to be in the studio when they record music for his songs so he could give his input. Kurt didn’t like the idea of spending holidays without Blaine, not after they hadn’t been spending so much time together lately due to their busy work schedule, but Blaine was finally living his dream and Kurt was happy for him.

“I’m gonna miss you…” Kurt murmured to Blaine’s shoulder as they were hugging at the airport.

“It’s only a few days. You’ll be back soon.” Blaine soothed him.

“So you won’t miss me?”

“Of course, I will. But let’s not make a big deal from it, okay?” Kurt nodded and hugged him tighter as if he was about to leave on a long journey.

“Kurt, baby? What’s wrong?” Blaine pulled away from Kurt’s embrace and looked at him with concern.

“Nothing. I just don’t want you to be alone here…”

“I’ll be alright, don’t worry. I’ll see you on Sunday. Now give me a kiss before you have to go.”

Blaine felt awful. He couldn’t come to pick up Kurt at the airport on Sunday evening because they were still in the recording studio, making the last changes on his songs. By the time he got out of there it was almost midnight. He was aware he had at least one crazy week ahead of him but then all the music for the songs for the album should be recorded. He knew Kurt supported him but he could tell they were growing apart a little. He had already planned the weekend out of town before Christmas so they would have some alone time together. Kurt was stressed out because of a fashion show he was preparing and Blaine tried to convince him everything would be okay, his outfits would be amazing and he would gain even more respect in the fashion industry than he had already had but Kurt didn’t seem to believe him. They both deserved a vacation.

The apartment was dark and quiet. Blaine found Kurt sleeping in their bed, his suitcase still unpacked. He changed to his pajamas and slipped under the cover, spooning Kurt from behind. Kurt shifted a little bit.

“Blaine?”

“I’m home, baby. I’m sorry it took me so long…”

“It’s fine. Goodnight.” Blaine brought Kurt closer and kissed his shoulder. He was alarmed. Kurt didn’t even turn his head to look at him. Blaine was used to having at least a one peck on his lips when he joined Kurt in bed at night. It wasn’t time to talk about it though. Kurt was tired and sleepy. The talk would probably lead to an argument and the last thing Blaine wanted to do was to fight with his boyfriend.

“Goodnight, Kurt. I love you.”

“Hmmm…” Well, at least Blaine got some sort of response.

Kurt hurried home from work the next day. He worked afterhours once again and he was frustrated. Blaine had texted him two hours ago about being on his way from the recording studio and Kurt was looking forward to finally not coming home to an empty apartment. He hoped dinner would be ready so they could spend the night together. He missed Blaine. They’d been communicating more via phone or internet than face to face in the last two weeks and Kurt hated it. He needed to be hugged and kissed. He needed to get rid of the thoughts Blaine was avoiding him and hiding behind the excuse of a lot of work because Blaine wasn’t Mathew.

“Blaine, honey, I’m home.” Kurt shouted from the door as soon as he entered the apartment. All he got was silence.

“Blaine?” He asked once more and went to the living room, curious where Blaine could be.  The soft smile appeared on his face when he saw his boyfriend sleeping curled up on the sofa. He decided to set the table for dinner before waking him up. Blaine deserved little bit of rest.

He left the room but was on his way back in a minute.

“Blaine! You have to be kidding me!” He screamed and rushed to Blaine, nudging him until Blaine opened his eyes.

“Kurt, hi…What’s…”

“Don’t you dare ask me what’s wrong! What the hell have you been doing?!”

“What?”

“The kitchen looks like there was a bomb thrown down. I cleaned it up before I went to Lima. I know you had a lot of work while I was gone but I thought this morning that you’ll at least put the dishes in the dishwasher till I came home. There is no dinner, the whole apartment is a mess and you are here sleeping?!”

“God, Kurt. Calm down…”

“Oh, no. I’m not going to calm down! I’m not a maid! We agreed to work as a team. I’m not going to clean up your mess!”

“I never said you have to. Jesus, Kurt. Let me at least be fully awake before you throw a fit.”

“Okay!” Kurt turned around and walked by him to the direction of their bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Blaine asked, still confused. They had had several stupid fights before but none of them was about a dirty kitchen.

“To the bed. Hope, the sofa is comfortable enough for you!” Blaine just shook his head and grabbed his coat.

“Fine!”

“What are you doing?”

“Going out!” This time Blaine yelled too.

“Really? Is there some sort of a rule book or something? How to run away from problems or…”

“What the fuck are you talking about Kurt? You are about to lock yourself in our room god knows for what! I’m not going to sit there and wait for you to calm down! I have no idea why you are freaking out about the dishes! I came home, I was tired, I fell asleep. I would do it later. I never said you should do it instead of me!”

“Yeah, at first it was you having a lot of work or you going on a trip, now it’s you being too tired to tidy but not too tired to run away from me!”

“Damn Kurt! You’re ridiculous. You were the one to run away in the first place! I don’t know what’s wrong with you!”

“What’s wrong with me? You called almost three hours ago that you were on your way home. I was looking forward to having a nice evening with you, maybe dinner with candles after all this time we basically spent apart only to find you sleeping, without any intention of making the night different from those we were experiencing in the last two weeks! And when I say something you don’t like, you are going out! Did you get lectured by Mathew or what? Is it some kind of unwritten rule for your group of friends or what?”

“What?! What does Mathew have in common with you screaming at me like crazy?”

“He was doing the exact same thing! Every time we fought he ran away from me!”

“Well, maybe he had a good damn reason not to stay with you if you were acting irrational like this!” They both froze. Blaine’s mind caught up with what he had just said and he immediately regretted the words.

“Oh my god! Kurt, I’m so…” Kurt stormed through the living room to the hall and slammed the door behind him. Blaine followed him but the elevator was gone so he took the stairs. By the time he got in front of the building, Kurt was nowhere to be seen and his call was sent straight to voice mail. He returned to the apartment, put the dishes into the washer and sat on the sofa, hoping he wouldn’t have to wait too long for Kurt to come back.

It took Kurt twenty minutes to get to Rachel. She wasn’t at home from work yet, but he had a spare key so he let himself in and curled up on her sofa. She found him at the exact same position half an hour later.

“Kurt, what’s wrong?” Kurt looked at her with red puffy eyes. “What happened?” He sniffled and new tears started to fall down.

“We had a fight.”

“Okay. What about?”

“About the dishes…” Rachel just shook his head in disbelief.

“The dishes? You are crying here about the dishes?”

“He said Mathew had a reason to run away from me…”

“I’m lost. Kurt, please tell me what happened from the beginning to the end.”

“We had a lot of work in the last two weeks. We barely saw each other and I felt like maybe he was intentionally avoiding me. He went on the trip with Nick, he didn’t go home for Thanksgiving…We haven’t even had sex since your opening night…He always came home late or he fell asleep during composing in the music room…I thought tonight would be different. He called me at seven that he was on his way home. I came almost three hours later and found him sleeping. There was no dinner, the dishes were scattered all around the kitchen…I got mad because I wanted one night of peace with my boyfriend. I wake him up and yelled at him and then I told him I was going to bed and he decided to go out. So I yelled at him again. I asked him if there was some kind of rule book for running away from problems and I compared him to Mathew and then he told me Mathew had a reason to run away from me…I left.”

“Why would you compare him to Mathew? Are you crazy?”

“Because he is acting like him! He is running away!”

“He is NOT! Kurt, why didn’t you talk to him if you felt like he was doing something like that? I’m sure you misunderstood everything. You both have been working hard recently but he wasn’t out at the bar every night. You’re being irrational here. I know things with Mathew were pretty bad but you can’t keep going on looking for these things in everything Blaine does.”

“I can’t lose him, Rachel. He is my everything. I love him so much…” Kurt cried even harder.

“If you don’t want to lose him, stop acting like you are waiting for something to go wrong. Go home and talk to him.”

“I’m scared…” Kurt whispered. “What if he left?”

“I don’t think so. He is probably beating himself up for what he said and waiting for you to come home.”

Rachel was right. Kurt once again found Blaine sleeping on their sofa, this time with his phone next to him, apparently waiting for Kurt to call or text him. Kurt sat on the floor next to the sofa and brushed off curls from Blaine’s forehead before kissing it. He had gone too far tonight and he knew it.

It wasn’t Kurt’s soft kisses on Blaine’s temple and cheek nor was it Kurt’s hand stroking his hair that rose Blaine, it was a single tear that dropped from Kurt’s eye on to the skin of Blaine’s face that woke him up.

“Kurt?” Blaine sat abruptly. “God! I’m so glad you’re home. Kurt, I’m so sorry.” Kurt just threw his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and hugged him tight.

“You were right. I was irrational. I’m sorry, honey. Please, forgive me.” Blaine held him in his embrace for a little while longer before he pulled away.

“Kurt, what happened? I know I should have done the dishes but…” Kurt silenced him by putting his finger on Blaine’s lips.

“Let’s go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

“We need to talk, Kurt.” Blaine said firmly. He wasn’t about to kiss and make up without discussing the issue first.

“I know. And we will. I’ll set up the alarm an hour earlier for the morning. Right now we are tired. It can wait.” He stood up and grabbed Blaine’s hand to drag him to their bedroom. Blaine reluctantly obeyed but he swore they would have a talk in the morning even if it meant they would be late for work. He was falling into an uneasy sleep in Kurt’s arms, without a goodnight kiss but with a big problem hanging over them.

When Blaine woke up on Tuesday morning, Kurt was lying next to him, watching him with intense eyes.

“Hi…” Blaine breathed.

“Hi…” Kurt smiled at him.

“So…” Blaine started, uncertain what he was supposed to say.

“I’m sorry, Blaine. I shouldn’t have compared you to my ex-boyfriend. I just…I felt like we are growing apart. Like you are purposely avoiding me…”

“Why?”

“Because we had a fight and all of sudden you went to the trip with Nick. You spent lots of time in the studio or composing and I was not sure whether you really need to be there so much or you were distant. You stayed here for Thanksgiving…You were acting like you wouldn’t even miss me at the airport…Mathew did the same things. When he was tired of me he just spent his time at work or with friends…coming home late and…I was afraid I’m losing you…”

“I went to Pittsburgh because you were about to spend the whole weekend at work. I stayed here for Thanksgiving because they wanted me to be the one who decided which arrangement for the songs was better. I explained everything to you. And I told you I would miss you. I just didn’t want to make it harder for you. Me being upset for staying wouldn’t make you feel better. I love you. I thought I was doing my best to make you happy but apparently I wasn’t. I’m not Mathew. I know you two had some serious issues that ended in you breaking up but you can’t assume everything I do I’m doing with the same intention he used to do. And let’s be honest, Kurt. You weren’t without the fault then. I’m not saying Mathew wasn’t a jerk to you but you had your share of guilt in the matter. I don’t know what you want from me. You started a fight because of dirty dishes, Kurt. That’s ridiculous. I wasn’t avoiding you. Do you remember how I said to you that communication is important in every relationship? If you had doubts, you should have talked to me. Tell me you want me to stop going to the studio and I stop. I stay home just composing then giving them music and lyrics and they can do whatever they want with it. At first I was enjoying going there but the last few days were torture. I couldn’t wait to get out of there because I knew there was something odd with you. I knew you would rather have me home. I need your support, Kurt. Not just words. I need to know you really are supportive even if it means that sometimes I come home late or I won’t do the dishes on time…”

“You have my support…” Kurt whispered.

“Well, I don’t think so. I was living my dream and you were thinking I was avoiding you…It doesn’t sound like support to me.”

“Blaine…” Kurt reached for his hand but Blaine changed his position from lying to sitting up, completely oblivious to Kurt’s attempt of comfort. He looked at the clock and froze.

“Kurt! Weren’t you supposed to wake me up an hour earlier?”

“Yes. But you were so peaceful and I thought you could use more sleep…” Kurt said in a small voice.

“So you let me to get up an hour later than usual? I have to leave in thirty minutes. We were supposed to talk before we go to work!”

“I’m sorry.” Blaine took a deep breath.

“Okay. I’m going to shower. I won’t be long since you have to leave like fifteen minutes after me.” He stood up from the bed and took the first pair of jeans he saw in the closet with the nearest shirt.

“I called in sick. I’m staying home. I don’t think I would be able to do something productive today…” Kurt told him sadly.

“I really need to go. We’ll talk this evening. I promise I will hurry but I don’t know how long it takes today. Just please, don’t freak out and wait for me. I’m not going to stay late purposely, okay?” Kurt just nodded and Blaine left for the bathroom. He came back twenty minutes later to say goodbye but Kurt was lying in their bed with his back to the door and he looked like he was sleeping. Blaine didn’t want to wake him up so he turned around and went to work. He completely missed a little shaking of Kurt’s body provided by his silent crying.   

Kurt was sitting on the sofa in their living room when Blaine came home. He had texted him

half an hour earlier that he was on  his way home and Kurt had been even more anxious than before.

“Kurt, baby, don’t tell me you’ve been crying here the whole day…” Blaine rushed to him and framed his face with his hands, observing Kurt’s red eyes and tear streamed cheeks.

“No.” Kurt said with a small smile. “Not a whole day.”

“Kurt…”

“No. Let me speak, okay? I have no excuse for my behavior. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you were doing something when I didn’t talk about it with you first. It was my insecurities getting the best of me and it was all wrong. I am proud of you. I don’t want you to feel bad because you have to stay in the studio at night. I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way. I want you to live your dreams, Blaine. You worked hard to get where you are now and I’m not going to stand in your way. I want you to be happy. You deserve the best of everything, Blaine. With or without me, it doesn’t matter.”

“Kurt…”

“I love you. I love you more than anything in this world and I would be the happiest man alive if you forgive me and let me be one of the things that makes you happy because you are making me happy. Don’t ever doubt that, Blaine. The last two weeks were tough but I can’t tell I was unhappy. I might have been sad and tired and confused and angry but I wasn’t unhappy. I just missed you…I missed you so much. I was used to seeing you when I came back from work and suddenly you weren’t there. I missed you talking to me at dinner. I missed the warmth of your body when I was falling asleep. I missed your touches and kisses...”

“Kurt…”

“I missed making love to you…it’s been so long and I’m literally going crazy because I’m craving for you and I know that you have much more important things on your mind right now than your horny boyfriend…”

“Kurt…”

“But it’s the way it is and I can’t help it but I’ll try to control my temper and…”

“KURT!” Blaine’s scream silenced him immediately. Kurt was about to apologize once again because apparently he had done something wrong when Blaine’s lips were suddenly on his, kissing him hard.

“Please, don’t. Don’t control your temper.” Blaine said when he pulled back to take a breath before attacking Kurt’s mouth with even more force demanding the access. In a few minutes Kurt was a puddle in Blaine’s arms, not able to do anything than respond to Blaine’s actions with the same amount of eagerness and fierceness. There were no words spoken. There were no soft nibbles but bites, no tender touches but scratches, no sweet kisses but heavy crashes of their lips. Maybe it was too rough. Maybe there would be a lot of bruises on their bodies in the morning but neither of them cared. It was lust and passion, it was pure need and desperation, it was loud moaning and frantic movements but it was still love in its rawest form.

Kurt had had a plenty of makeup sex before. Considering the last two years of his relationship with Mathew had been a rollercoaster ride, they had had the makeup sex several times a week but never did he felt like something had been changed. The experience he had witnessed with Blaine was nothing like that. It was like connection on the whole new level. Although it was everything but gentle, when their screams faded out and they came down from their highs, Blaine carefully observed Kurt and made sure he was okay. Then he took him to their bed, never letting his hand go.

“I love you so much.” Blaine whispered, running his fingers through Kurt’s hair, because now was the time for slow and delicate.

“I love you too.” Kurt smiled and leaned in to kiss Blaine softly.

“I have two more days in the studio but I promise I’m not going to do it the next time.”

“What do you mean?”

“It took its toll on us. I’m not going to make you feel insecure anymore. I’ll return to composing at home. I give them the songs with the music and the lyrics and all production is up to them.”

“No!”

“Yes. You gave up Europe so we could be together. Now I truly understand why…You come first, Kurt. If I knew how you felt I would have quit right away but it’s not possible now…”

“Blaine, honey, please don’t. We will make it work. I’m not going to freak out again. I’ll always talk to you when something bothers me, okay? We can handle you being closed in the studio for a few weeks. It’s a temporary thing when the music for your songs is recorded, right?” Blaine nodded.

“Okay. Then we can handle it.” Kurt said with determination.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Just wake me up at night when you come home and are interested in having sex with me…”

“I’m always interested in that…” Blaine stated with a smirk.

“You weren’t acting on it lately.”

“I didn’t want to wake you up. You had a pretty harsh few weeks yourself. You needed rest at night.”

“There is no better sleep than the one I get after a mind-blowing sensation with you.” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist and brought him closer.

“I need to know, baby. Whatever is on your mind I need to know. I can get through stupid fights about the dishes or bow ties or whatever. But I don’t want to argue about serious issues as you thinking I’m avoiding you or you feeling insecure because of my behavior. Those are the problems we need to talk about calmly, not in an argument, okay?”

“Okay. I promise I will yell at you just about the unimportant things.” Blaine laughed.

“I can live with that. We should get some sleep in case I have the urge to wake you up earlier in the morning for another mind blowing sensation.”

“I wouldn’t complain about that. Goodnight, honey.”