Nick could see something had happened with Blaine during the weekend. He was even more quiet and deep in his thoughts than usual. His work was excellent, he truly came in full force as he had promised in his outburst on Friday but his heart wasn`t with him.

“Blaine? Are you all right?” Nick asked him when they were sitting in their favorite coffee shop, taking their lunch break.

“No. I`m not. But I don`t know how to fix things.” Blaine answered with sight.

“You know you can talk to me, right? I mean…you don`t talk much about yourself, you usually listen to me and help me dealing with stuff. But it works other way too…”

“I don`t think there were important stuff to deal with in my case before…Or I didn`t consider them important…Kurt made me talk to him. And I still don`t know why I did it. It`s like I can`t resist him. It`s crazy.” A little laugh escaped from Blaine`s mouth and Nick smiled.

“There are so many things, Nick…I need to find solution to my problems but I`m hopeless. I would love to tell you but lunch break is too short for it. We can go to my place after work as pool Monday has been canceled today and have some beer with chocolate candies if boss actually let us leave in a decent time, what do you say?” Nick`s eyes literally shined. He was glad Blaine was willing to talk to him, he missed alone time they used to spend together in college.

“Yes! Beer and chocolate candies…we haven`t done it since we graduated.”

“How have we been able to live without it for so long?”

“We adapted to majority. Our new friends suck in this…” The rest of their lunch break was filled with conversation about their old times at Dalton and college. Nick, after a really long time, finally saw his best friend clearly, without any signs of something that wasn`t Blaine.

“So Kurt spent the whole weekend with you…” Nick noted, his mouth full of candies as he was laying on Blaine`s couch. Blaine was sitting on the floor, his back rested against wall, beer in one hand, candies in other, dreamy expression on his face from thinking about Kurt.

“You`ve got it soooo bad for him. Remind me once again why aren`t you together?”

“Because he is leaving, Nick. And it`s not like temporary leaving…you can have long distance relationship if there is a hope one day you`ll be on the same place as the other one. But we don`t have that.”

“Why aren`t you going with him?” Nick`s simple question made Blaine rethought everything. He hadn`t had a thought about possible moving out to New York once.

“What would I do there?”

“I don`t know.”

“I have a job. I can`t leave my job. My life is here now, I can`t throw everything away…There isn`t big future waiting for me in New York. I`m not Kurt.” Nick had enough of Blaine`s constant underestimating. In his humble opinion, Blaine was the most talented person he`d ever met. He was probably the least confident one too. Since they came back to being open with each other tonight, he was going to tell him how he saw it.

“You`re not happy, Blaine. Something is bothering you lately. And lately I mean since Kurt started to hang out with us. I`ve waited for you to tell me, but you were keeping it for yourself. In last couple of weeks it`s been worst. I know you, Blaine. One look at you and I know whether you are okay or not. Something is on your mind and it`s not just Kurt.”

“There are so many things I don`t like, Nick. I don`t like my job. I don`t like how I gave up on my dreams because I wasn`t strong enough not to listen to what my dad was thinking. I don`t like that I can`t make my parents be proud of me. I don`t like the fact Cooper is flawless in their eyes. I don’t like the feelings of weakness and failure. I don`t like that I don`t control my life. I don`t like that when I finally found someone who is making me happy, I can`t have them. I came to the point when I don`t like my life at all. And if I didn`t have you and great friends, I don`t know where I would be right now. Possibly in a deep depression. Everybody thinks I`m full of life. I`m always cheerful, with a good mood, dapper, smiling…but it’s a lie. I purposely avoided certain issues. I didn`t want to face them so I pretended they didn`t exist. But Kurt came and he named every problem he had…” Blaine stopped talking and for a while only sound audible was clock ticking.

“Do you remember what he told us once? You can`t be happy if you don`t define your problems. You have to find out whether you can fix them or not. Sometimes it`s not up to you. It`s not in your hands. Then you have to learn let it be otherwise you drive yourself insane. If you can fix it, do it. Since then I`ve been defining my problems. And there are some I can fix. Like gain some self-esteem and stop underestimating myself. But there are many I have to learn let them go. Like situation with my parents and Cooper, or my boss getting permanently on my nerves, or Kurt leaving…I don`t know if it makes sense to you…I like being with Kurt because when I see him it gives me a drive to be like him. To take control over my life.”

“Blaine, if you are not happy with your life, change it. We are young. We have whole life to make mistakes and try different things till we are satisfied with the way it is. Find out what you really want and try to get it. I`ll be there. Every step you take, I`ll be there. And Kurt will be there too. Mathew and Lucas as well. Wanna make music? Go for it. Wanna teach music? Go for it. Wanna leave Pittsburgh to follow love of your life? Go for it.”

“Love of my life? I think you are overreacting a little bit…” Nick rolled his eyes. Still in denial. Some things would never change with Blaine.

“Come on Blaine. You love him. I knew you loved him before you even realized you could have feelings for him. I don`t say to live your life for Kurt now but if it`s what you want, I`m here to support you.”

“I need to think about it. Honestly, I really don`t know what I`m gonna do. But I have to do something with my life.” Blaine was determined. He would definitely live his life his way. He had no idea how to achieve that goal but he would do his best to get to that point.

“What if we visited Wes this weekend? Like goodbye party for Kurt? You could use some time out of the city…” Nick hoped Blaine would like the idea.

“Yeah, that`d be great. We`ll call him tomorrow and let him know. If he doesn`t have any plans we could pay him a visit.”

“One step ahead of you. I`ve already plan the whole thing out…”

“Aren`t you cold? I have a blanket…” Kurt told Blaine with smile on his face. This time it was Blaine who was sitting on the swing, looking at the stars, enjoying peaceful surrounding. He lay his eyes on Kurt, surprised that Kurt remembered his exact words from the last time they had been here. Kurt handed him the blanket and continued with repeating conversation they had had two months ago.

“Everybody went to bed.”

Blaine decided to join Kurt`s game. After all, he remembered as well.

“Are you tired?” He asked and Kurt`s smile was even wider.

“I`m not.” Blaine lifted the blanket and nodded to a free space on the swing the same way Kurt had done before. Kurt sat next to him, comfortable silence fell on them. After a while Blaine returned to their little game.

“Thank you.” Kurt laughed but kept playing.

“What for?”

“For tonight…” And the game was over. Blaine needed more than Kurt`s word to express his feelings and gratitude. “Not just for tonight. For everything you`ve done for me. For forgiving me, for being my friend, for helping me come to realization I need to do something with my life, for answering my calls although sometimes I call in ungodly hour, for constantly reminding me I`m strong enough to face my demons…”

“I`m glad you let me in…” Kurt was looking at Blaine, hesitating if he should say something more or just simply repeated Blaine`s action from their first night here. Blaine felt weird under Kurt`s intense eyes. He wondered what Kurt was thinking about and how far he was going with this reenacting.

“You are not gonna kiss me and then run to the basement, are you?” He asked reluctantly when he couldn`t stand Kurt`s gaze anymore.

“No. There is no way I would ever run from kissing you…” Kurt answered and got on his feet. He headed towards the cabin, leaving confused Blaine sitting on the swing.

“You are running right now.”

“Yes, but not after kissing you.” Kurt turned around to send him a wink and disappeared inside. Curious Blaine followed him. He wasn`t surprised when he found Kurt at the basement but he was definitely surprised that he found him standing by the bar with bottle of vodka in his hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Do you know where juice is? I can`t drink this without it.”

“In the kitchen…”

“Thanks!” Kurt`s face lit up and he was about to leave the room when Blaine grabbed his wrist and led him to the couch.

“What are you doing?” Blaine asked once more and hoped he get the answer now.

“I want to get drunk.” Kurt murmured.

“What???”

“I want to get drunk.” Kurt repeated more loudly this time.

“I heard you. But why?”

“I want to forget. They say alcohol helps you forget for a while…” Blaine took the bottle from Kurt`s grip and put it on the coffee table in front of them.

“Yeah, for a while. But the next day you have to face your problems with hangover. It doesn`t make them vanish. What do you want to forget?”

“I have doubts…What if it`s a bad idea? What if it`s just me running away?”

“Are you talking about moving out to New York?”

“It was so surreal in the beginning…But I`m actually leaving next Saturday. What if I`m chasing a dream that isn`t mine anymore? Maybe I`m stuck in the past. Shouldn`t I move forward?” He purposely didn`t tell that only doubt he had was leaving Blaine behind. What if Blaine was his new dream?

“Kurt, it`s something you`ve always wanted. You`ll be fine. It`s okay to be afraid of something new. But I`m 100% sure it`s a good change for you.” Kurt visibly relaxed but Blaine could still see the tension in his body. He wrapped his arms around Kurt`s shoulders and pulled him into a hug, running his hands up and down his back in soothing gesture.

“I know I can`t be in New York with you. But I`ll be on my phone 24/7. Whenever you`ll need me, I`ll pick up the phone. In the middle of the night or in the middle of some stupid meeting with my boss or clients. I don`t care. I`ll tell them it`s family emergency or something. I`ll always be here for you, okay?” Kurt nodded. He released himself from Blaine`s embrace.

“Thank you. It means a world to me.” He stood up and took the battle from the table.

“But I still need more alcohol in my veins. I`ll be in my room. Feel free to join me.” And Blaine followed him once again tonight.

They were sitting on Kurt`s bed, vodka and juice on a bedside table. They`d already had a few shots and felt slightly dizzy, although none of them was drunk. Blaine didn`t want Kurt to be hangover tomorrow so he watched out how much they were drinking.

“There`s no such a thing as an excuse for wearing sweatpants in public, Mr. Anderson. I don`t care if you just went throw out your trashcan to dumpster. You never know who is watching you.” Kurt said with serious expression on his face, which was immediately replaced by a huge grin. Kurt`s hair wasn`t as perfect styled as it was half an hour ago and his cheek were getting pink from warmth produced by alcohol.

“You`re so cute. I`ve probably never seen you so loosen up.” Blaine was proud of himself. Not everybody had a chance to see Kurt like this.

“So I`m not cute in my normal, uptight state?” Kurt asked him with playfulness in his voice and Blaine decided to tease him a little bit.

“Well, you said that…”

“Okay. So how would you describe my fully sober self, Mr. Anderson? Would you go for something boring as responsible, nice and helpful or something ordinary as friendly, honest and easy-going or simply fabulous, flawless and hot like hell?” Kurt`s gaze dared Blaine to reconsider what he was about to say. Blaine knew the answer as soon as Kurt finished his sentence but pretended to thinking about it just so he could irritate Kurt for a moment longer.

“Hmmm…I don`t know…how would I describe Kurt…You know what? I think you pretty much summed it up. I would go for the exact adjectives. I might add extremely talented, compassionate and everything that is good in this world.” Kurt suddenly froze and started biting his lower lip. Blaine freaked out. He said too much. They may not be drunk but they were more relaxed around each other than usual.

“Sorry. Did I make you uncomfortable? I shouldn`t have…”

“No!” Kurt interrupted him. “Not at all…Did you…Did you mean it? Did you mean what you said?”

“Of course I did. What kind of question is that?” Blaine wasn`t quite sure what Kurt`s problem was.

“God, Blaine. You can`t say things like that. How am I supposed not to…You can`t expect me to…Oh…” Kurt growled and put his face to his hands. Blaine seriously thought Kurt would kick something if he wasn`t sitting on the bed.

“Supposed not to what? Expect what?”

“Not to want to kiss you! One more shot and I know I would kiss you. But vodka was forbidden by you for now.”

“Kurt, you don`t need to be drunk to kiss me…”

“I know I`m overstepping. I know we are friends and kissing you is so not a friendly action…This sucks and it`s your fault. I`m not drunk enough not to care about right and wrong but simultaneously not sober enough to have a mouth filter!” Blaine leaned closer to him. Their faces inches apart, hearts speeded up their beats, lips almost touching…

“You don`t need to be drunk to kiss me.” And he closed the little gap between them. This kiss wasn`t soft and sweet as the ones they`d shared in the begging of their brief make-out sessions so far. This one was fierce and passionate, they gave all their wanting and longing to it. All those days of dreaming about being so close once again…None of them was going to lose one minute of this opportunity. They pulled away, lips swollen, breathing heavily, looking the other in the eyes as they refilled their lungs with fresh air. When movement of Blaine`s chest steadied, his brain got the message he could use more kissing so he attached his lips to Kurt`s again but this time he took it slow. Kurt instinctively put his arms around Blaine`s neck and happy sight escaped his mouth as Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt`s waist and pulled him closer. Not too long Kurt was laying on the bed with Blaine half on top of him, their mouth moving in sync, their hands roaming each part of other`s body they could reach, sight and moans and whimpers encouraged them to continue and never stop because this was heaven. Right here, in Kurt`s arms, Blaine found his meaning of life he`d been so desperately looking for. Nothing ever felt so right for Blaine. Even those few times they had been kissing before. Blaine kissed his way from Kurt`s lips through his jaw to his neck, nibbling and licking softly, making Kurt groan. Kurt took off Blaine`s hoodie and Blaine reciprocated action by undressing Kurt`s shirt. The moment their bare chest met and Blaine returned to kissing Kurt`s soft skin on his collarbone, Kurt stiffed.

“Kurt, what`s wrong?” Blaine whispered, concerned and confused at the same time. Kurt pushed Blaine off him and stood up, searching for his shirt.

“You are going to tell me to stop either way. I can`t get carried away…You don`t want this. You told me. You don`t want this…” Kurt leaned his back to the wall.

“You don`t want this…you don`t want this…” He repeated the sentence with closed eyes, trying to regain some control.

“I wouldn`t stop…” Blaine said but Kurt was still parroting his words as some kind of spell.

“Kurt, look at me.” Kurt just shook his head, his eyes remained closed. Blaine came to him and caressed his cheek with back of his hand.

“Please, look at me. I can`t talk to you like this. I need to know you are listening…I need to know you understand…” Big blue eyes were finally looking at Blaine.

“I wouldn`t stop. Not this time…”

“You don`t want this. You told me, you…” Kurt`s words were silenced by kiss.

“Would I kiss you if I didn`t want to?” Kiss. “Would I kiss you like this if I didn`t want to?” Kiss. “You have no idea how much I want this.” Kiss and deep sight. “I`ve wanted you since the first time we kissed on that swing.” He whispered to Kurt`s ear and move away from his personal zone.

“I should go…” He reached for a doorknob but Kurt`s hand stopped him.

“Please, don`t leave me alone…” Blaine entwined their fingers and kissed Kurt`s knuckles.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Stay with me tonight, please. Blaine, please, don`t leave me alone.” Kurt hugged him and held him tight, not prepared to let him go. Blaine kissed his hair. He was lost. The best option was to go to his room and calm down, but most of his blood, that was supposed to be in his brain, was far away south, so his decision was influenced by his emotions and desire instead of his rationality. No one could expect him to leave when Kurt was so close to him.  

“I`ll just take something comfortable for sleeping and be right back, okay?” Kurt nodded, his embrace as strong as before.

“Kurt, you have to let me go. I`ll come back, I promise.” Blaine chuckled when Kurt hesitantly eased his arms around Blaine. Blaine kissed him one last time and left. As he was returning to Kurt`s room, he ran to Wes.

“Damn, Wes. What are you doing here? You scared me.”

“Not that it was your business, but I was thirsty. Went to the kitchen to drink water. Why are you sneaking into Kurt`s room? I don`t want to deal with Mathew in the morning, Blaine.” Wes warned him.

“Don`t worry, Mathew is okay. Goodnight.”

Blaine entered the room and found Kurt lying on the bed. He sharply stood up and forced himself on Blaine, kissing him senseless.

“Did you have another shot of vodka?” Blaine asked him when he relocated his lips to Blaine`s jaw.

“No. Why?” Kurt answered between kisses.

“You said you need another shot to kiss me. It was me who initiated our kissing tonight…” Kurt abruptly raised his head.

“I…I`m sorry…You said you wouldn`t stop…I thought you wanted…I`m sorry. I`m gonna take a shower. Please, stay. I won`t do anything. I`ll be on my side of bed, I won`t touch you again. I swear. Don`t go.”

“Kurt, no. You`ve got it wrong. I`m not complaining. I was curious. I didn`t see it coming but it was great. I love kissing you. I told you last week, don`t you remember?” Kurt tentatively stepped closer to Blaine. He cupped his cheek.

“Is this okay?” Blaine nuzzled his face to Kurt`s hand.

“Yeah…” He said with smile. “Are you going to kiss me again?”

“Do you want me to?”

“God, yes! I want you to…” Kurt didn`t need to be told twice. In one motion his tongue demanded access to Blaine`s mouth. They found a rhythm in an instant. Blaine put his arms around Kurt`s torso pressing their bodies together. Kurt tangled his fingers in Blaine`s curls, making Blaine moan and thrust his tongue deeper to Kurt`s mouth. It was hard to breath, Kurt thought he could pass out due to the lack of oxygen but he didn`t care. He ran his hands down Blaine`s body till they reached his ass and stayed there. Blaine rolled his hips into Kurt's as a respond to Kurt`s action, earning a loud moan from Kurt, who threw his head back. Blaine instinctively attached his lips to Kurt`s collarbone, showering it with hungry kisses and little bites. Their hips grinding together sending sparks of pleasure to their bodies, every passing second Kurt was more confident Blaine wanted him as much as he wanted Blaine if the sounds Blaine was making by every thrust of Kurt`s hips were any indication.

“You are amazing.” Blaine whispered breathlessly. “Fabulous, flawless, hot as hell…”

“Blaine, we need to stop…” Kurt keened.

“No. We don`t…”

“Damn, Blaine… What about rules? Oh, yes…like that.”

“We have only one rule. I doubt you are uncomfortable…Oh my God! Do it again!” They were speaking through the kisses, not having their lips detached from each other for longer than necessary.

“In fact, I`m a little uncomfortable…” As soon as the words were out, Blaine halted. He made an eye contact with Kurt, unsure what he was supposed to do now.

“I`m sorry, Kurt. I thought…doesn`t matter. We just stop and go to sleep.”

“What? Why?” Kurt was frustrated. The only coherent thought in his mind was: Blaine said he wouldn`t stop.

“Because you`re not comfortable.” Kurt rolled his eyes. Even in the heat of moment Blaine was a dapper gentleman.

“Shut up and kiss me, Blaine. I didn`t mean it that way.” Blaine, a whit distracted, did what he was told. Meanwhile Kurt unzipped his and Blaine`s pants and let them slipped down.

“Much better…” He whispered as he pushed himself to Blaine. Blaine`s knees were weak. They didn`t even do much and he was so close to the end…Maybe if they were lying on the bed…Blaine`s lips were attacking Kurt`s skin, his hands travelling over Kurt`s body, his head full of thought…You can`t do this here. Wes will kill you, if he finds out.

“Wait. We can`t…” He managed to say, trying to catch his breath to explain. Kurt groaned.

“Blaine, you have to stop do this to me! If we didn`t interrupt this several times we would be coming by this time.” Blaine stepped away from Kurt.

“Exactly. We can`t here…We shouldn`t be doing this in our friend`s house. What if we leave some stains on sheets or…”

“Seriously? Stains? We had a hell lot of hot make-out session that would easily pass as a foreplay and you were thinking about stains? Way to ruin the mood…” Kurt angrily grabbed his pajamas from his suitcase and went to bathroom. He needed a shower. It seemed like he had to take care of his problem himself. He was closing the bathroom door when Blaine put his hand on it.

“Would you mind if I join you?”

“Are you telling me you are actually going to finish what you`ve started?” Kurt asked him bluntly. He was tired of this game. He needed release. Blaine cupped his erection through his briefs causing Kurt`s head fell onto his shoulder and moaned.

“If you let me…” He whispered and kissed Kurt`s temple, stroking him slowly, listening to sounds Kurt was making and enjoying every bit of it. After a while Kurt returned the favor, playing with fabric of Blaine`s boxers, briefly caressing his skin under the waistband, teasing but not fully touching.

“Kurt…” Broken sight echoed the bathroom. Blaine had a feeling there was still too much clothing between them. He had Kurt in his arms, beautiful, amazing Kurt who was kissing and hugging him…Kurt, who made him feel alive. Kurt, whose touch made him burst into flames. Kurt, who was close to his climax as well as Blaine himself. In one quick move he got rid of Kurt`s briefs, his own shortly following. He backed them to the shower and turn on the water. Kurt was pressed to the wall, Blaine desperately kissing him, hot water streaming down their bodies, muffling pleasure moans they were making. Blaine put his hand around their erections and built a pace gradually.

Kurt hadn`t been feeling like this for a long time. The want and the need to be close to Blaine was something new to him. He wasn`t one for flings or fooling around outside the relationship but all those principles broke down with Blaine.

“You`re so beautiful, Blaine…Everything is beautiful on you.” Kurt murmured while he was trailing kisses along his jaw.

“Your curls…” He tangled his fingers to Blaine`s hair.

“Your lips…” Fingers changed their positions and were caressing Blaine`s cheek as Kurt kissed him sweetly.

“But what I love the most about you is your eyes. They are so expressive. You are like an open book. Look at me Blaine…” Kurt whispered. Blaine raised his head and found pair of blue eyes watching him. The truth be told, Blaine loved Kurt`s eyes even more than Kurt loved Blaine`s. They were magical. They could change the color from grey through blue to green. Not everybody had color - changing eyes. Kurt was special. So special. Right now his eyes were dark. Like a deep ocean, he was drowning in them.

“Don`t forget me…Please, don`t forget me out there…” Blaine pleaded, losing himself in Kurt.

“I won`t. I swear, I won`t.” To make the point Kurt connected their lips, trying to communicate everything he felt but wasn`t able to tell. Tongues exploring mouths, teeth gently biting lips, hot breaths ghosting over sensitive skin bringing them closer to explosion.

“Blaine…I`m…God, Blaine…” Kurt`s closed his eyes, his whole body trembling. Feeling of Kurt shivering against him sent Blaine immediately over the edge. Panting he wrapped his arms around Kurt`s waist, holding him tight, his forehead resting against Kurt`s. Nothing he`d ever experienced could compare to this.

“We didn`t leave any stains…” Kurt broke the silence after few minutes of standing under the water and absorbing what had just happened.

“Way to ruin the mood.” Blaine chuckled but took Kurt`s shower gel and started to wash his back. They exchanged a few chaste kisses as they were showering, none of them really knew whether their friendship status could remain the same but they were too afraid of bringing the issue up. They went to bed without saying a word, snuggled together, had one last lazy kiss and fell asleep.