Blaine has been laughing at the old sitcom on TV for ten straight minutes, but Kurt couldn’t tell you what the joke was, just that he’s glad to hear Blaine so delighted for once. He’s lost in his own mind, in daydreams and half-formed hopes.

“Blaine, can we talk about something?” He hadn’t planned bringing it up so soon, but now that he’s blurted it out, he realizes it’s as good a time as any. Things are quiet and calm tonight - and Blaine isn’t drinking. They both need clear heads for this discussion, one that will - he hopes - change their lives. Kurt feels his heart speed up with nerves.

“Yeah, of course.” Blaine sits up from where he’s nestled in the crook of Kurt’s arm to reach for the remote and turns off the television. He turns to face Kurt and pulls his legs up underneath him on the couch, watches Kurt with wary eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. Well, I hope not.” Kurt copies Blaine’s pose and reaches out to grip his hand. Blaine’s thumb traces over the knobs of Kurt’s knuckles, eyes wide, bright, and best of all aware as he waits for Kurt to collect his thoughts. “We - we’re married now. We both have jobs, we’re financially stable, we live in an okay neighborhood…”

Blaine nods, still silent.

“I thought… maybe, if we’re both ready for it - and you can absolutely say no, if you don’t think we are, this needs to be an equal decision -“

“Kurt.” Blaine says, voice soft and soothing. Kurt takes a deep breath.

“I wondered if we might be ready for… our family to get a little bigger.” He meets Blaine’s eyes. They had talked about this before, but only in abstract - enough to know that it was something that they wanted, someday. Never anything definite. They haven’t made plans, or even talked about whether they want a boy or a girl (Kurt, for one, doesn’t have a preference; he can design the most fabulous onesies the world has ever seen for either gender.)

“A… baby?” Blaine breathes, hesitant, as if afraid that this will be snatched away from him.

“Is that something you want?” He has to confirm it.

“God, yes, of course. Do you -?”

“I do, I really do. I think we’re ready for it.”

A smile spreads across Blaine’s face, and he nods, eyes shining with what Kurt thinks are unshed tears. “Yeah. Me too.”

Kurt laughs, a little hysterically - he’s terrified, but overwhelmingly happy. “Okay.”

“We’re going to be dads.” Blaine says, as if trying to convince himself that it’s actually happening. Kurt squeezes his hand tighter. It’s so good to see Blaine happy, really, truly happy.

“You’re going to be the most amazing dad,” Kurt whispers. He leans forward and kisses his husband, as if to seal the deal, and when they pull apart Blaine still holds him close, head pressed into the crook of his neck. There is so much more to discuss, they both know it, but there’s plenty of time for that. “I love you so much.”

Blaine hums, leaning up to kiss Kurt again. “Well, if we want a baby,” he mumbles between quick but deep kisses, grinning against Kurt’s lips. “We’d better get started on making one, don’t you think?”

“You do know the basics of the reproductive system, right? You’re not that gay.” Kurt laughs.

“Hey, we can sure as hell try.” He grabs Kurt’s hand and pulls him toward their bedroom, laughing all the way.

--

The adoption process is hard, of course, and exhausting, and it’s taking them a lot longer than expected to find a surrogate mother (they had talked for ages about it, and decided that a baby with either of their genes would mean a lot to them.) Kurt hasn’t given up hope, and neither has Blaine, but Kurt can tell that the time it’s taking for this to happen is getting to Blaine.

Wandering into the apartment at night to find Blaine drinking isn’t uncommon, these days, but Kurt knows that something is wrong - he doesn’t know how he knows, but he’s been with Blaine long enough that he can just tell. He sits down next to Blaine on the couch, where there are empty beer bottles all around. “What is it?” He asks. Blaine’s eyes are rimmed with red as he looks at the half-empty bottle in his hand. He shakes his head. �“Blaine, don’t shut me out. Please talk to me.” He takes the bottle from Blaine’s hand and sets it aside, taking Blaine’s hands in his and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid,” Blaine croaks.

“Blaine, please.”

Blaine shakes his head again, but answers anyway. “What if I end up like my dad?” He whispers.

Kurt blinks at him, stares at him. “What if I’m as awful a father as mine was, what if - what if our baby ends up like me? What if our marriage is like theirs and you end up hating me?” His voice is slurred from the alcohol, but clear enough to understand. It’s not often that they talk about Blaine’s family.

“You won’t,” Kurt insists, his grip on Blaine’s hands tightening. “You won’t, Blaine, none of that is going to happen.”

“What if it does? It’s inevitable, right? That we end up like our parents?”

Kurt shakes his head. “No. I’m nothing like my dad, am I?”

Blaine’s breath shudders. “You’re kind and compassionate and smart and good,” he says. “And Burt always says you’re just like your mom.”

Another shake of his head, but he understands Blaine’s point. Not that he ended up the same person as his father, but that he adopted the traits that were drummed into him all his life. “You,” Kurt says firmly. “Are nothing like your dad, or your mom. You’re so good, Blaine, you’re going to be the most amazing father. And if you start acting like that asshole then you have me to straighten you out, right?”

Blaine makes an unintelligible noise and leans against Kurt’s shoulder, and Kurt immediately wraps his arms around Blaine and holds him tight. “’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Hush, now.” Kurt whispers, kissing the top of his head. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He looks around at the empty bottles and sighs. “I don’t know why you do this to yourself; you know you always end up miserable when you drink.”

“I’m trying to stop.” Blaine insists. Kurt raises his eyebrows. It sure doesn’t look like it. “I am, I swear, just - I can’t talk about that right now.”

�Kurt drops it, for now, snuggling closer and cradling Blaine in his arms. He’s not used to this - Blaine drinks, too often, and Blaine makes himself miserable, but things like this don’t happen often. Times when Blaine upsets himself so much that only Kurt can calm him down again.

And most of the time, he doesn’t know how to bring Blaine back to himself. All he knows how to do is soothe, and comfort, and be with him, and hope that it’s enough.

Blaine doesn’t bring it up again, and neither does Kurt, but he lays awake for a long time when they go to bed and Blaine finally falls asleep, looking into his husband’s face and worrying, always worrying and never able to do a damn thing about it.

---

The baby girl has a tuft of thin, dark hair on the top of her head, and the face peeking out of the bundle of pink blankets she is wrapped in (Kurt, while he doesn’t complain, doesn’t appreciate the gender stereotype automatically placed on her at birth, and hopes that she appreciates the purple and yellow nursery waiting for her back home) is tiny and wrinkled and bright red from the force she puts into wailing. She looks quite indignant to have been dragged into the world at all.

She is the most wonderful thing Kurt has ever seen since meeting Blaine on that staircase.

“Would you like to hold her?” The nurse asks, holding her out to Kurt. He takes her automatically, cradling her too-big head. Her tears have dissolved into occasional whimpers, now. She’s so light and small and breakable and Kurt is almost afraid to be holding her.

“Hi,” he whispers, shifting her gently in his arms so that he can touch her chubby little cheek with the tip of his finger. She blinks with huge blue eyes that will probably turn to hazel eventually and gives a halfhearted whimper. “Hi, beautiful. I guess I’m your daddy.”

“Does that make me Papa?” Blaine asks, sounding amused. Kurt grins and nods, liking the sound of that. The nurse makes herself scarce, but neither of them really pay attention.

“Oh, Blaine, look at her.” He breathes. He feels arms wrap around his waist from behind, Blaine’s chin hooking over his shoulder as he peers down at his daughter.

“Welcome to the world,” he says softly. Amelia - Kurt decides, though she hardly looks like a human being at all yet - grunts. “You’ll get used to it after a while.”

“She has your nose,” Kurt says, though she really has the same little button nose that most babies have. He wants her to look like Blaine, though, wide-eyed curly-haired and perfect. Blaine hums, reaching around Kurt to stroke the hair on top of her head.

Neither of them speaks for a long time, watching as Amelia’s eyes drift shut and she falls asleep. Kurt hears Blaine’s breathing shift behind him, and twists his head around to see a tear trickling down his husband’s cheek.

“Blaine? What’s wrong?” Kurt asks, feeling a tiny spark of panic in his chest. Blaine sniffles and shakes his head, smiling.

“Nothing,” he says. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m so happy.” And Kurt smiles too, because moments of happiness come rarely for Blaine these days. Maybe this will make it all better.

Kurt leans back against Blaine’s chest with a sigh. He can’t remember being this terrified in all his life, so scared that he won’t do right by her, that he’ll ruin this. Nevertheless, there’s hope, too, and pure unbridled joy. He wasn’t sure, he realizes, until this moment, that this was what he wanted, but now that she’s here, he knows why people choose to do this. This is what was missing, what he wants. He loves her suddenly and overwhelmingly, though she doesn’t even know him yet, and he makes the promise to himself to tell her so every day of her life.

“I love you,” Blaine says after a while of silence - not specifying to whom he’s speaking, but Kurt decides to take it to mean the both of them. Kurt turns his head to kiss the side of Blaine’s neck in place of words. “You’re going to be the best dad in the word.” �

“So are you,” Kurt insists. Blaine doesn’t answer, his grip around Kurt’s waist tightening. They stand in the nursery for a long time as the nurse goes about her duties, but Kurt’s world has narrowed to the three of them, his family that has suddenly gotten a little bigger.

This, he decides, is going to make everything okay.