Aug. 4, 2011, 8:29 p.m.
Shiver: You Found Me
M - Words: 1,927 - Last Updated: Aug 04, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: Aug 04, 2011 - Updated: Aug 04, 2011 149 0 2 0 0
The only thing I could think about was Kurt and his situation. How bad exactly did he have it back at his school? Then I remembered the look of pain on his face in the study hall. He looked so- so torn apart.
I was sitting in my last class of the day, leaned back in an old and uncomfortable wooden chair and for the first time, I was completely out of it. My whole being was somewhere else, drifting off, think about the past. Thinking about Kurt.
I had never told anyone I ran away. I had never been so open about the disappointment I had in myself for it with anyone before, not to mention a complete stranger.
Looking around the four deep red walls that surrounded me, I felt a sudden wave of guilt. Everyone here thought I had been so strong my whole life. Everyone here thought I was this confident guy. Yes, I was comfortable with my sexuality. It was just my past that seemed to haunt me.
I pushed my textbook to the center of my desk, and when my teacher wasn't looking, created a new messaged and sent it to Kurt.
Courage. -B
Pressing send kind of lifted some weight off my shoulders. I felt the corners of my mouth curl into a slight smile. Yeah, it made me feel really good.
The sun blazed through the white curtains that hung over floor to ceiling windows, tiny specks of dust floating through the air. For some reason, I just sat there in the back of the classroom, arms folded on a dark wooden desk, entranced by it. It was the stupidest thing but the way they fell was so gracious, and there was so many of them they almost sparkled...
"Mr. Anderson."
A jolt of surprise and I shifted in my seat, looking up into the cold dark eyes of my English teacher, Mr. Raul. His old face was wrinkled, the way it went when he was extremely displeased or annoyed-well shit, that was my fault.
"Uh, sorry, sir." I said with a bit of a cough, clearing my throat.
"No, Mr. Anderson; I was just going to ask you what you were staring at for the past twenty minutes. I didn't want to interrupt you- because that would be rude and would disturb the class. But you became such a distraction I just have to ask." He put his rough hands on his round hips, staring down at me. For an old guy, he sure was a jerk.
But I got the hint, I'd better shut up now. "Nothing. It was nothing. I'm sorry." I said, voice cracking halfway through the sentence. There was muffled laughter, and Wes winked at me from the front of the class. I scoffed at him when Raul turned back around and mouthed a "fuck you". He smiled cheerily and turned away. Bastard.
Finally, the day was over. I got the hell out of that classroom, and headed to the Senior commons.
"Hey! Hey! Slow down man!" I heard Wes shout from behind me on the stairs. If I could have I would of stopped, but one of the unwritten rules at Dalton was to never stop in the middle of the staircase. There was always someone behind you.
I remembered when Kurt stopped mid-way down the steps, and that's when I got the hunch he wasn't from here. He just looked so odd standing there, and if it wasn't for that stupid rule, I probably would of never got into conversation with him.
So I continued until I reached the bottom, then stepped out of the way and waited for him. He punched me in the shoulder, and then we began to walk at a normal pace towards our Warbler meeting.
"What's your hurry?" Wes questioned.
"I don't know-" We were pretty good friends, but I didn't feel like explaining my whole week to him right now. "-Just excited to get the hell out of Raul's class."
"Yeah what was wrong with you today? You were really out of it."
"I seriously don't know."
"So how's Kurt then?"
I stopped dead in my tracks, staring hard at Wes. "Well, what makes you think it has anything to do with Kurt?"
"I didn't, I was just asking if you've heard from him since the other day; but now you've put the idea in my head so-"
"Oh Wessy Wes," I cut him off, brushing off my blazer and continuing my stride down the hallway. "You put too much thought into things. And- I haven't heard from him."
"Could you stop calling me that? It's actually really freaking annoying."
"Whatever you say, Wessy."
We finally got into the Commons and almost everybody was already there. Wes took his seat at the head table, and I sat on the arm of one of the sofas. I listened in on multiple conversations to waste time.
"Man, did you see the game last night? Fucking Boston, man!"
"She was insistent that we watch this damn movie. Like, I don't even want to know what she did last summer."
"No, I'm telling you- I could get you some good shit, man. Quality."
Cameron, who was talking about I Know What You Did Last Summer, turned to me and pointed. "Is there any nice way of me to tell her that I'm tired of sitting around and watching movies and holding hands? She's so Touch-Me-Not, we've been dating for months. I am a man with needs!" He yelled, his scruffy brown hair bouncing as he moved from side to side.
"Maybe she's just not ready for that. You say she's TMN, has she been in a relationship before? Has she been screwed over before or something? I know that would make a lot of girl's hesitant with going further and stuff." I told him. This was the beauty of going to an all-boys school, guys were just guys and we could talk about whatever. And I was lucky, even for a gay guy, the boys were comfortable and actually sometimes engaged in conversations about it.
Cameron's little pale and freckled face twisted, then his green eyes shot open wide. "That's totally it! Her last boyfriend tried to basically get into her pants by their third month- it bothered her a lot.. shit." He shook his head, then looked back to me. "Thanks man, really, I appreciate it- how do you even know all this stuff?"
Wes cackled from the other side of them room. "Blaine's always got the ladies around him."
I rolled my eyes, but smiled because it was true. I did have a lot of female friends. "It's just a perk of being gay.' I snickered, and then Cameron decided he would pretend to be gay to acquire a lot of 'female friends', and all I could say was, "Good luck with that."
The meeting started, and there was only one thing we would be discussing. Regionals. We would practice endlessly, come up with a way to be more powerful, more show-stopping, more everything.
David slammed the gavel down, and I wondered for a second why we even had one of those in the first place. When they were about to take ideas, I felt my phone go off in my pocket. I pulled it out, and it was a call. It was a call from Kurt.
I picked it up and whispered quietly into the phone, "Kurt, I would love to talk but I'm in the middle of a Warb-"
"Blaine? B-Blaine. I-" He was crying hard between words. My heart started to pump, he was trying to make out words, but just kept screaming in tears.
"Okay, okay, Kurt, listen, one second. Just one second." I whispered into the phone, immediately regretting wasting another second. Standing up, I cleared my throat. "Something has come up, I- I really gotta go." I exchanged a look with David who seemed slightly annoyed, but when I looked to Wes, he showed a look of concern, as if he knew something went wrong with Kurt.
I ran out of the Commons and slammed the door shut behind me. I pressed the phone back to my ear. "Kurt? Kurt!"
"Yeah, yes, I-I'm here. Blaine.." His crying had stopped, there was just slight whimpers now.
"Where are you?"
"I'm at school."
"Yes, but where do you go to school?" I asked him, unbuttoning my blazer.
"William McKinely.. Blaine, I just need someone to talk to. Don't come all the way out here.." Kurt whimpered. I began to jog down the hallway, phone in one hand bag in the other.
"I don't care. I'm coming for you, Kurt." I told him, busting through the doors that led out to the parking lot. "I'll be there soon. Don't argue." I got in my Malibu and let it roar to life, hanging up the phone. I wouldn't let him argue with me.
The drive to Lima was excruciating, the traffic nearly killed me, and because I was so anxious to go see Kurt it just made things worse. Finally, I made it to WMHS (thanks to the map on my phone) and pulled into the parking lot. I got out and looked around. It would of made sense if I told Kurt to meet me somewhere.
I looked towards the bleachers, and when I squinted I saw a faint silhouette of the back of a familiar figure. My heart pounded, and I went with my instinct, running towards the field. I finally reached the bottom of the metal seats in a sweat, staring up at Kurt who was sitting up at the top by himself, knees curled up to his chest.
"At least I found you." I called to him.
He seemed stunned, eyes wide. He put his legs down and shrugged his shoulders. I started to make my way up to meet him, almost tripping on a piece of garbage somebody had left behind.
"Why did you come here?" He asked me. I sat down on the bench in front of him, facing his direction.
"Why wouldn't I come?"
"Because you live pretty far, and I overacted on the phone, I shouldn't of called you in the first place."
"Who said I came here for you? I just wanted to stare at this big old, random and empty field."
Kurt shot me a glare, and I cringed. Okay, maybe not the best time to joke around. He sat, arms folded against his chest, his cheeks rosy and his lips red. His hair blew softly in the chilly breeze. You could tell he had been crying.
"Kurt, what happened?" I asked him, leaning forward.
He remained poker faced for a few moments. I watched his face change every few seconds, his eyes beginning to become empty, then his lips tightening, then he was blinking a lot, and oh gosh- he was blinking back tears.
I got up and turned to sit right beside him. "Kurt.."
He shook his head. He didn't want to hear anything from me, and I respected that. I just sat there until he picked himself up and began to speak.
"Remember that neanderthal I was telling you about..?" He asked softly, watching his hands play with each other nervously in his lap.
My heart began to break into a trillion pieces. I immediately became worried and way too protective of Kurt at that moment. What could he have done to Kurt that could of hurt him that bad? I pressed a sweaty and shaky palm to his shoulder, in which he tensed and I pulled away quickly. Instead, I just gave him a nod, even though I wanted to take him away from this stupid place forever.
"Yeah well he uh-" Kurt said, looking at me, a tear rolling down his cheek. "He kissed me."
Comments
Aww, I just want to give Blaine and Kurt a hug! I love how you're showing Blaine's perspective of everything, and the balance between the heartbreaking flashback to his father and how it's affnow is handled very well and is very interesting to see. I love his concern for Kurt, his hidden insecurities and just the depth you're giving to his character.
A cliff-hanger?! NO. I need more! Now. When? So tracking this thing. Consider your story genius. First 'first person' POV I've read so far, and I LOVE. Rock on! -EmKay