Aug. 4, 2011, 8:29 p.m.
Shiver: You Can't Runaway Forever
M - Words: 1,705 - Last Updated: Aug 04, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: Aug 04, 2011 - Updated: Aug 04, 2011 147 0 0 0 0
Boys were moving hectically in the Commons, moving tables this way, chairs that way. This was it, this was my moment. This is what I've been waiting for all week, what I've spent sleepless nights working towards.
Kurt's nervousness was cute, and just made me feel that much more confident.
I turned to him swiftly as he stood in the doorway, hands clutching the strap of his bag and his whole body stiff. Well obviously he drew attention to himself, I was convinced at that point he didn't even go here. So what was he? A spy for his school's Glee Club? If it's a show they want, it's a show they'll get.
"Well next time, don't forget your jacket, new kid-" I told him, pulling at his collar. I shared an expression with him that was almost playful, just enough to let him know that I was suspicious in the most friendly way. "You'll fit right in." I flashed a smile. I excused myself, giving the nearest kid my bag to hold as the steady beats of boys voices started to intertwine into A Capella music.
Before you met me, I was a wreck,
But things were kinda heavy,
You brought me to life,
Now every February,
Somehow almost as if it was subconsciously, 10 boys in matching blazers had formed a line behind me as I led the group in choreography and vocals. I looked to Kurt to see if he was impressed yet.
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine.
I think he already fell in love with the damn school.
Let's go all the way tonight,
No regrets, just love.
We can dance, until we die,
You and I, we'll be young forever
The whole room went insane as we brought it to the chorus. I decided Kurt would be my focus for this performance, the one thing I concentrate on that keeps me doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
You make me feel like I'm living a Teenage Dream,
The way you turn me on,
I can't sleep, let's runaway and
Don't ever look back, don't ever look back
We were almost done the song. By this point, I managed to look away from Kurt and gaze around the rest of the room while carrying out the tune.
All the guys were fist pumping, yelling their heads off and just going completely nuts. As the song came to it's last line, we all stood back into our original formation, and I looked once more at Kurt.
Let you put your hands on me, in my skin tight jeans
Be your Teenage Dream tonight.
I gave Kurt a nod with a small smile while everyone gathered around us, high fives and shoulder bumps. He clapped, so I guess I really did show him.
The room cleared out, and it left with the two of us standing there. Kurt stood still, and I walked over to the couch, sitting on the head rest to face him.
"Look, I know what you're going to say.." Kurt trailed off, looking down.
"No you don't. I could of said anything- I could of said that these sofas are really a terrible color." I slid my hands into my pockets with a slight smile.
Kurt's face remained expressionless. My heart ached for him, there was something not right.
"You were going to say that you know I'm not from here."
"That's pretty obvious though."
"I thought this was a pretty good disguise."
"It's close."
He looked back down at the floor, his feet shuffling from side to side. I leaned forwards, pushing my body off of the sofa and gestured for him to walk with me. He followed hesitantly, slightly behind me.
"Blaine, were are we going?" He croaked.
"Well, first, I'm going to let you change into your own clothes. Be yourself, kid. Don't worry about getting in trouble. Then- we'll go somewhere to talk." I assured him, ushering him to the bathroom.
We stopped in front of the large wooden door. Kurt cocked a brow at me, pools of blue shaking with nervousness.
"Somewhere.. where? Is it a secret?"
I laughed. "Sure. It can be our secret somewhere."
"So we're the only ones who know about it?" He asked.
This caused me to laugh. It wasn't true at all. The whole school knew about it. But playing with Kurt had become my favorite past time of the last half hour. I nodded my head with a sheepish smile.
"Sure, somewhere only we know."
When I had brought Kurt to the study hall, he seemed a little displeased at the presence of other people around. I shouldered him lightly, just to let him know I didn't mean for him to take the joke so seriously. I got him and myself a coffee, sat him down across from me in a less populated area, and prepared two more coffees, sitting them down on either side of me.
"Who- who are those for?" He asked, his voice shaking.
I knew he wouldn't be thrilled when I explained to him what was going on. "Well, while I was waiting for you, I ran into two of my good friends-" Wes and David appeared from behind, taking their seats beside me. Kurt looked slightly scared. "-and they agreed to come meet with us here."
Kurt wrapped both hands around his coffee cup. I knew he was probably angry with me, but the three of us knew this was for the better.
"This is Wes, and this is David." I introduced them and we began talking. Kurt had thought we were going to beat him up, and I tried hard to suppress my laughter. Then he asked us if we were all gay, which I had to try even harder not to spit my coffee and choke on a lack of oxygen.
We explained our zero tolerance policy. And that's when I saw it, basically painted onto Kurt's face. Even though I had asked Wes and David to join me, now I knew it was better for me to do this myself.
"Would you guys excuse us?" I asked them.
"Take it easy, Kurt." Wes added before the two boys left.
I studied the boy across the table. At first, I thought he was just really confused about everything. Now I knew he was something else, something darker and unfortunate. Because I knew what I saw, I saw myself two years ago.
"I take it you're having trouble at school." My voice was low, because now the lurking feelings of the past starting to stir themselves in my stomach. Kurt began to tell me his story, opening up, but I knew it was just the scratch of the surface.
I remembered what it felt like to be the only out kid at school. I remembered trying to stay strong about it. I remember all of the bullies who made it their life mission to make my life a living hell. I remember feeling invisible. And I told him that. I told him that I knew how he felt, that basically, it just seemed like nobody cared.
I told him that I ran.
But I would never tell him how deeply hurt I still was, and I wish I could practice what I preached. But Kurt needed somebody, so I would play the old dog.
"So you have two options, I mean, I would love to tell you to just come and enroll here-"
The darkest part of me wanted him to stay at his school. I wanted him to do the things I could never do.
"-But tuition at Dalton is sorta steep and I know that's not an option for everybody." I explained to him. Kurt locked eyes with me, I knew he was desperate for something easier. Unfortunately, nothing was.
"Or-" I breathed in deeply. "You could refuse to be the victim." Kurt looked shocked, like what I had just said was another language.
"Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt." I told him. Those words came trembling out of my mouth. The last time someone has whispered them to me, they had saved my life. "You have a chance right now to teach them."
"How?" Was all that he said. It was flat, but I could still hear the restless hope.
I shifted in my seat, wishing in the back of my mind that I could be as strong as I sounded right now.
"Confront him, call him out!" I leaned forward, kept my gaze on him and locked on strong. But Kurt lowered his eyes, almost as if he knew he was destined to be taunted and tortured for the rest of his life. My heart sunk deeper and deeper- I would not let this boy be like me. I would not let history repeat itself.
"I ran, Kurt." I felt my heart jump just saying the words. I had never been so open or vulnerable before, especially to a stranger. "I didn't stand up. I let bullies chase me away-" A shiver went down my back. "-and it is something I really, really regret."
There was silence between us for a few moments. I sank back into my chair, one hand on my coffee, the other digging into my pants pocket and pulling out my phone. I slid it across the table.
"I want you to text me if you ever need me. If you ever just need to clear your head. If you just need someone to listen. I'll be here for you." I told him. Again, another wave of shock braced him, and he slowly picked up my phone, hands shaky, navigating through the touch screen. He added his number, texted himself to acquire mine, and then stood up.
"Thank you, Blaine. Really, it'll be hard, but thank you." He said softly, handing my phone back over the table. I nodded, not exactly knowing what to say. I walked him out to the back of the school where he was parked.
"Whatever happens, Kurt, remember that you're stronger than all of them. If they push you down, you- you get the hell back up. They can't take you from yourself." He seemed to understand, and as he turned away, I put a hand on his shoulder. "Courage, Kurt. It's all you'll ever need."
I felt him go from tense to relaxed in a second. He looked back at me, crystal blue eyes on hazel, and smiled. He had such a beautiful smile. It looked so good on him, and I hoped I would see it more often.