Struggling
AnatomyFreak
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Struggling: The Story


T - Words: 4,501 - Last Updated: May 13, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 27/? - Created: Apr 12, 2012 - Updated: May 13, 2012
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Mairead was watching Star Trek for the third time when she heard a click of the door; it was only nine in the morning. Kurt had come in by himself with his messenger bag slung over his shoulder and chest with a tub of chocolate ice cream and a reusable bag in his hands.

Kurt smiled, lifting up the bag. "Brought some stuff for you. And of course, I'm here to relieve you from duty. Temporarily, anyway" After Mairead shot him a defensive look. "You look like Gaga with a hangover, no offense." She just nodded. She had been up with Blaine since she climbed the window that Saturday morning. It was just the beginning of Monday and she was running on almost no sleep. "Here, why don't you get something to eat and go to sleep? I can watch over him. And don't even think of saying no; you've already done so much for him and Joey." She opened her mouth for a rebuttal but couldn't think of anything. Mairead just nodded and told him about his temperature and the towels.

Joey woke up as she unrolled her sleeping bag next to him. "Wazzgoingon?" He said blearily, rubbing his eyes to get the mucus out that built up overnight.

Mairead sighed. "Kurt's here, I'm going to sleep for the rest of eternity." No one ever bothered her sleep. "Keep Kurt company? There's some food on his desk if you're hungry, and try not to blast the music in the dock and no rock. You know we both need sleep." She opened her bag and took out a t-shirt and sweat pants and went into the bathroom as Joey plopped down on his pillow again. She took off her favorite black long-sleeved t-shirt and looked at her back in the mirror, after making sure the door was locked. Mairead's back was covered in small circular scars that she told people were acne scars; in reality, some of them where, but most were scars when she whipped herself in the back when she was bullied.

Mairead touched one of the scars, it reminded her of how she was slammed against a wall in a hallway because of how she looked; slim, but not too fat or skinny, with beautiful medium length black hair. Another scar was from a group of boys who teased her constantly, and not in a playful manner. One of the boys must have been making fun of how she kept silent for days at a time and he thought it would be funny to get her to cry out in pain, using her voice for the first time in three days. After school, she would slip into her room and with one of her belts that she destroyed so that there would only be a tiny stub of the little stick on the buckle, she would whip herself so that blood would have been drawn and she did eat dinner that night, but later puked it up, saying in her head, I'm too freaking fat, I'm eating too much, I'll eat less tomorrow. The only thing she would eat is a banana and a cup of milk, skip school lunch, come home eat dinner, puke, and repeat. Mairead did allow herself to eat an occasional piece of bread, but only if she ran an extra lap if she had gym the next day.

She finished looking at her back and put on her t-shirt and sweatpants. When she came out next, Joey was quietly talking with Kurt as he ate one of the Costco muffins she and Joey bought on the way here. Mairead checked Blaine one last time as she was yawning; he didn't seem as hot as before, but still hotter than normal body temperature. She slipped into her sleeping bag, turned on her iPhone alarm to wake her up in three hours, pressed her way into a music playlist full of songs that made her sleep, put in the ear buds, and was unconscious in approximately five seconds.

"So, he really did send Blaine to those camps? That's horrible." Kurt said as he put the ice cream in Blaine's secret refrigerator and freezer in his closet. He looked over at his sleeping boyfriend, who had his face a little scrunched up. Kurt walked over the bed and sat in the chair Mairead had sat in, smoothing back his sweaty hair. Blaine's skin seemed really hot to him and he was shivering. Kurt really wanted to tuck the blanket up to his chin, and was going to until he remembered what Carole had said to Mairead over the phone. He felt the wet towels and revealed that they were warm already, so he took them off of his sleeping boyfriend. Kurt walked to his bathroom and rewetted the towels in cold water, his hands going numb from the temperature. He laid them in the exact way Mairead had put them on Blaine, one under his neck, one on his collarbone, and two on his chest. Kurt lingered at the scar tissue on his chest.

Blaine suddenly grabbed his hand and started muttering. "No, don't, please. Please don't… I-I d-didn't m-mean it. Please don't!"

Kurt stared in surprise and shock; that had come out of absolutely nowhere. He dropped the towel he was holding and stroked Blaine's hair while whispering. "Blaine, it's me Kurt. You're okay, wake up. Wake up for me? Please? Blaine, you're safe; come back to me." Kurt knew what was happening, it happened often when he was under stress or in pain. He could often hear Blaine's thrashing from his room, one dorm room down from Blaine's. And it would often be Kurt who ran into his room, reassuring him instead of the other boys; Kurt was a light sleeper. And like Mairead, you don't interfere with teenagers and sleep; so none of the other boys really ever noticed.

Blaine started whimpering at this point, his fore head scrunching up more than it should; Kurt was afraid the stitches might be ruined. He started to sing the song Blaine woke up to every morning, from Brandi Carlile.

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops

Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules

But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

Yeah you do and I was made for you

Blaine's eyes started to open in response to Kurt's singing, his face still scrunched up. Kurt stoked the side of his face with his other hand and smiled with tears in his eyes as he continued singing in his beautiful countertenor voice that Blaine adored so much.

You see the smile that's on my mouth

Is hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

Oh yeah, it's true... I was made for you.

Blaine's eyes started to droop again as Kurt finished the song; Kurt chuckled quietly at his face. "Hey, I'm here. I love you, and I won't leave you, okay? Just go back to sleep, and dream about… Harry Potter." Blaine looked up and tried to smile, he succeeded in a small pained smile.

"I wish I could," he whispered so that only Kurt could hear. "W-Where did Mairead go? She said she wouldn't leave me! Where is she?" He started to breath heavily out of his mouth, panicking.

"Shh, shh. Calm down, Blaine. She's sleeping; she was having a hard time staying awake looking after you. Mairead's just on the other side of you, on the floor in a sleeping bag." Kurt murmured to him.

"I-I need to see her! W-Where is she, Kurt? Where?"His eyes snapped open, his pupils rolling around wildly looking for her. Blaine's nails were digging into Kurt's wrist, nearly drawing blood.

"Blaine, relax! You're going to ruin the stitches on your forehead if you don't, make you nose hurt even worse than what I can imagine right now, and you're going to one hell of a headache that's worthy of Jacob Alexander fame!" Kurt tried smoothing the side of his face, feeling the stubble that was growing.

Blaine didn't calm down, instead pushing against Kurt's hands and trying to get up. His eyes weren't focusing on any one thing. Kurt tried pushing him down forcefully, but Blaine somehow found the strength to push back even after being asleep for about sixteen total hours.

"Joey! Come over here, now! I need you." Kurt quietly shouted to the young man behind him, not wanting to wake Mairead up.

Joey stood frozen to the spot. He couldn't bear to see Blaine pushing against his boyfriend's hands, he just… couldn't. Joey backed up slowly until he hit a wall, sliding down to his butt with tears slowly trickling down and a terrified expression on his face.

Kurt, still struggling with Blaine, hated to do this to Mairead. "Mairead! Wake up! I need you. Wake up, Mairead! Mairead!" He shouted. Blaine had gotten up into a sitting position; blood had started to show through on the bandage on his forehead and the cuts on his chest starting to show signs of bleeding.

Mairead slowly woke up to a male screaming her name. "What? What happened?" She yelled, slurring the words from her drowsiness. Mairead slammed on her glasses that she had taken out of her backpack and put by her sleeping bag before she slept. She saw Blaine struggling to get up and Kurt trying hold him down. Joey was at the opposite end of her, sitting by the wall and crying. Stumbling over her own feet she managed to get to Kurt's side and get Blaine back into the bed, holding his legs down. His eyes still weren't focusing on anything, including Kurt or Mairead; he was struggling to get up.

"Blaine, I'm here. Shh, I'm here, I'm here." Mairead half-shouted at Blaine, trying to put on a brave face. Once again, she knew this would happen if he was under stress; he was always clinging to something when he had a panic attack.

Blaine's eyes closed for a second and snapped back open looking right at Mairead, he had finally focused on her; his eyes were like those of an wild dog backed into a corner, wary yet scared. "M-Mari?" He had lapsed into calling her by her old nickname again; Blaine was disoriented. Before he "woke-up" he kept seeing these black figures around him trying to touch his skin. It reminded him too much of the "intervention" Matthew had set up for him when he first came out to his family. Blaine had also lapsed into one of his waking flashbacks, they were worse than Mairead's flashbacks because he was often more violent than her during them.

Matthew had brought in a team of priests from their church and had him tied down to his bed, convinced that he was possessed by a demon. It was Mairead and Nick who came to his rescue, after hearing his screams through her phone that Blaine had called a few seconds earlier. She saw the various cars in his driveway and black clothed men entering his house a few minutes before he called. They were all carrying a bag at their side and one man was wearing a long white robe with a long silk scarf around his neck. Jason, Mairead's father, had smashed in the Anderson's front door to get to Blaine.

Flashback

Blaine had just called Mari to talk with her for a bit before he had to go downstairs for lunch. She picked up and had just said "Hey! Wha - " When the door to his room slammed open and men in black clothing swarmed him. Blaine found himself being tackled to his bed and cords being tied around his shoulders, chest, arms, legs, and feet. He then found a thicker cord being put in his mouth to gag him. He fought fruitlessly against his attackers, but there were too many. Matthew was in doorway with a sobbing Miranda, he was silent as he watched his son being "cleansed" of the demon.

The men backed two feet away from the bed when they were done. Another man was walking up to Miranda and Matthew; he was dressed in a long white robe with a emerald green scarf draped around his neck on top of the robe. He took out a small bottle of what looked like water and opened a little nozzle at the top, wetted his fingertips with it, drew a cross on Miranda's and Matthew's forehead and walked into the room. The man had a hard look on his face as he walked towards the bed where Blaine was bound. Blaine looked into the man's eyes with anger.

The man whispered into his ear, "Soon, you shall be free of Satan's servant that has taken refuge with in you, Blaine. Do not worry, God shall save your soul!" Blaine then felt intense pain in his arm, the man had secretly taken a slender, long blade out of his pocket and ran it along Blaine's bared arm; he screamed but was muffled by the gag. He was then promptly blindfolded by white cloth and could no longer see what was happening to him. Blaine suffered for about the next half hour, drifting in and out of consciousness because of the pain.

He was semi-conscious when he heard a faint bang and someone calling, "Blaine! It's me! Where are you?" Blaine blacked out again, but only for a brief time. He woke up to someone shaking him, the blindfold and ropes off of him. Mairead had a bruise on her cheek and a cut across her forehead. He heard someone else scuffling with another man but was too weak to lift his head.

"Wh-what happened?" he mumbled, his eyes closing. Mairead gently slapped his face several times.

"Don't you dare go to sleep, Blaine! You keep talking with me, you hear that? You keep talking with ME!" She spoke loudly.

Blaine did his best to enunciate his next question, as the pain was getting too intense from all the cuts all over his upper body from the cuts that the men inflicted as to provide "gateways" for the demon to get out. The blackness was slowly closing in but he was fighting it. "Why? I'm so tired… Let me sleep, Mari." He whispered.

Nick was still in the room, fending off the men in black shirts and pants. "Blaine, it's Nick! Stay awake! Please! You're not alone, okay? Stay awake!" Nick rambled as he did all he could to get the men away from Blaine and to make him stay awake.

Blaine did manage to stay awake long enough for Jason and Sarah to arrive and take charge of the situation. Jason, Mairead, and Nick carried Blaine out of his house and into their own house while Sarah stayed back and argued with a still sobbing Miranda and Matthew. The men who had tortured Blaine fled and never came back again. Joey was thankfully at a school overnight trip in Indiana for his band trip; he played percussion in his school's top band.

Once Blaine was settled in the guest bedroom, he passed out again.

"Dad?" Mairead said softly as they exited the room, leaving only Nick with Blaine. "I think he should go to the hospital. Blaine looks too pale and he's really cold." She looked at Jason. Mairead could see the conflict in his eyes.

Jason had two options: one, take him to the hospital and they might uncover what happened to him, or two, don't take him and risk him developing complications and then Matthew would press charges against him for kidnapping Blaine. "Let…Let me think about this, okay? I need to help your mother and then I'll tell you." Jason left Mairead at the top of the stairs and jogged down and out the door to the house next door where his wife was shouting at who used to be their best friends.

Mairead quietly walked back into Blaine's room. Nick had taken out the bowl that was under the sink in the guest bathroom, which was attached to the room, and filled it with water. The water was a faint pink from Blaine's blood that Nick was washing off with washcloths. Nick was sitting on one side of the bed, Mairead on the other. She could see tears in Nick's eyes, but didn't say anything.

"Mari?" Nick asked so softly Mairead almost missed it. "Who would do this to him? Why would they do this? He didn't do anything and this is what he gets from his parents? Why, Mairead, why?" Nick broke down in sobs as he dropped the cloth he was holding back into the water bowl, the water was a deeper pink. Mairead ran around to the other side of the bed and hugged Nick, telling him that they should go outside so he wouldn't wake Blaine up.

Once outside, and the door shut, Nick cried harder and wailed. Mairead was panicking, What do I do? She thought, Oh, duh. That always calms him down. Since she was adopted from the horrible Vietnamese orphanage when she was ten years old, she still retained much of her native language, Vietnamese. Nick always loved it when she spoke it, it sounded like music to him; with its choppy rhythm at times and smooth sentences. She spoke all that she could remember since she hadn't spoken it in six years to her three years older brother. He calmed down enough that they could go back into Blaine's room and watch him. Mairead stayed at Nick's side the entire time. Blaine's cuts were still bleeding and he was paler than when they left him. Mairead remembered how red the carpet was around Blaine's bed when she, Jason, and Nick stormed into his room.

Loud thumping noises could be heard outside the door. Mairead instinctively jumped into her fighting stance in front of Blaine and Nick when the door opened, her fists balled up like a boxer and her feet ready to jump at a moment's notice. She nearly did too, as Jason burst into the room.

"Mairead, your mom and you are going to get Blaine to the hospital. I'm staying here with Nick." Jason said in a no nonsense voice. She nodded. Mairead had started to wake Blaine up, but Sarah got to her before she could wake him up fully.

"Don't," Sarah whispered, shaking her head. Jason had run into the hallway to the closet where he grabbed a thick blanket. Mairead carefully peeled back the thin sheet from Blaine's body, the blood had soaked into the threads. Jason gave her the blanket. She took and wrapped him in it, Blaine never stirred. Sarah looked on worriedly.

It had only taken them fifteen minutes to get to the hospital where Sarah worked and only two minutes to get him into the ER. The doctors bought the story of Blaine was playing tennis with Mairead, tripped, and fell into a nearby rocky piece of land. Since Sarah worked there, Mairead was allowed to be with Blaine as they cleaned him up.

"M-Mari? Where am I? I-I don't know… what happened? I saw the priests from church coming in…" Blaine stopped struggling against Kurt's and Mairead's hands holding him down. Mairead quickly release her hold on his legs, Kurt doing the same on his chest and arms; they didn't want to hold him down longer than what was needed. Blaine looked exhausted and scared.

"Hey, do you want some ice cream? Maybe it'll help you calm down more." Mairead asked him softly. "Kurt brought some and stored in your freezer in your closet." Blaine breathed a yes. Mairead nodded to Kurt who nodded back and kissed Blaine on the cheek before getting the ice cream.

Mairead saw the blood on the bandage on Blaine's forehead and decided to change them before Kurt got back with the bowl and spoon for Blaine. "Hey, there's blood on your bandage on your forehead. I'm going to change it, okay? This might sting a little bit, no, I take that back. It'll sting a lot." Blaine's eyes closed as he chuckled softly.

"D-don't worry," he croaked, his throat dry. "I 'hink I can han'le it." He slurred drowsily. Before Mairead snapped on the gloves Carole had left for her, she got Blaine a cup of water with a straw and propped him upright on more pillows from David's room.

"Tell me if you start getting dizzy, okay?" She said as she handed him the water. He took the cup slowly, being careful of the IV in his hand, and started taking big gulps of the ice cold water. "Whoa there, Anderson. Small sips; you're going to make yourself sick." He slowly nodded, lowering the cup from his mouth, his thirst quenched. She snapped on a pair of gloves and opened up the packets of sterile gauze and alcohol pads. She took a side of the bandage on Blaine's forehead and slowly peeled off the tape.

Blaine gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, it felt like his skin was being pulled off. He tried to think of happy thoughts, 'Kay, think. Um… Kurt kissing me. Me singing Teenage Dream to him. Um…crap, that hurt. Uh… Kurt singing Blackbird. Kurt trying to make sexy faces when we sang to the Crawford girls. Kurt… The adhesive tape was off. Now it was time for the alcohol pads. They stung, but it didn't hurt as much as the tape. Once Mairead snapped off her gloves, Blaine opened his eyes to the sight of Kurt smiling at him. He smiled back. "Hey. I missed you." Kurt handed him the bowl with the chocolate ice cream.

"I missed you, too. Don't you dare leave me again. Or I swear I will take over your closet and make it over." Kurt threatened jokingly as Blaine slowly ate the ice cream.

Blaine was almost finished with the ice cream when he started getting sleepy and heard the door click open, it was Carole. Kurt smiled.

Carole went immediately to Blaine's IV pole. The saline and ibuprofen bag were still fairly full. "Blaine? Did you sleep okay? Are you in pain?" She asked him. He nodded a little bit.

"I have it mostly under control. Mairead just changed the bandage here." Blaine pointed at his forehead. "Now I'm just getting sleepy, again." He leaned back into his pillows and shivered. Mairead came out of the bathroom where she was washing her hands and changing into jeans and a tee-shirt. Blaine just noticed that she had deep purple bags under her eyes; he felt guilty. "Mairead, why don't you get some sleep? I'm sorry I haven't let you sleep for the past couple of days." She waved him off.

"It's fine, I can survive. I've gone nearly five days without any sleep before." Blaine was shocked as she said it so casually. She retrieved the pad of paper that she had been recording Blaine's temperature on since last night and gave it to Carole. Mairead then went back over to the bed and put the thermometer back into the crook of Blaine's arm again and measured.

"Carole, his temperature right now is still about 103 degrees. It's 103.1 degrees." Carole nodded.

She took a small needleless syringe out of her bag and went over to his IV pole. "Blaine what I'm giving you is another fever reducer that'll put you to sleep. No, no, not that kind of drugged sleep." She comforted him as his eyes went wide. "This one works over about fifteen minutes to help your body produce the natural hormones that make you go to sleep. So in reality, you're making yourself go to sleep naturally but just with a little help. Does that sound okay to you?" Blaine looked at Kurt, his eyes still wide.

"I promise I won't leave you, not until you wake up again. I promise, Blaine." Kurt said softly into his ear. He climbed into the bed, getting on Blaine's right side where it wasn't obstructed by his IV or anything.

Blaine took a shaky breath and nodded to Carole, who screwed in the syringe and pushed the plunger all the way down before unscrewing it and placing it in the little red bucket with a biohazard sign on it; Blaine hadn't noticed that bucked there before. Mairead took her place at his bedside in the chair again as Carole noticed Joey sitting by the wall. She walked over to him and slid down the wall to talk with him.

Kurt, Mairead, and Blaine talked about the upcoming Regionals competitions until Blaine had drifted off and was fast asleep with a smile on his face. Both Kurt and Mairead looked at each other and smiled, knowing Blaine won't have any nightmares this time around.

"Why don't you really get some sleep? Carole and I are here, so you really should get some sleep, Mairead." Kurt insisted quietly when she shook her head.

She whispered, "But what if he wakes up asking for me again? Then what?"

Kurt sighed, he hated doing this to her when she's already done so much for the two of them. "I'll try to get him to calm down before I need to wake you up, okay? Now, you need sleep." He looked pointedly at the sleeping bag on the floor beside him. Then he thought. "Actually, Mairead, why don't you go next door? It's my dorm room, you can sleep in there. It'll be nice and quiet. And you won't have to sleep on the ground. I'll call you if Blaine needs you." Mairead looked at him gratefully. She took one last look at Blaine and brushed his hair back before quietly walking out the door and into Kurt's room.

Once Mairead was out the door, Kurt grabbed his iPhone off of Blaine's nightstand next to his IV pole and clicked his iBook app open. As it was loading, he saw Carole talking with a balled up Joey by the wall. Poor kid, I hope he's doing okay. Kurt stroked Blaine's hair as he waited for the app to finish loading. It finally loaded and the first book that popped up was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. He smiled; it was Blaine's favorite book out of the whole series. Kurt started reading as both Blaine, and Mairead, received the rest they so deserved and needed.


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