Kurt was laying on the couch in his father's living room, listening to “Easy Living”. It had become their favorite Billie Holiday song, something they would hum to each other in passing or mumble groggily in the morning.

“I'll never regret the years I'm giving. They're easy to give when you're in love,” Kurt murmured with tightly shut eyes, willing himself not to cry because Blaine would be walking in at any moment now. He swallowed hard, his chest tightening as he hid his face in crossed arms. “I'm happy to do whatever I do, for you. For you, maybe I'm a fool, but it's fun. People say you rule me with one wave of your hand—”

“Darling, it's grand,” was murmured, accompanied by a soothing hand on Kurt's back.

Kurt peeked over his shoulder after nuzzling into his sweater, hoping his tear tracks would be less evident. Either way, it was futile. Blaine always knew when Kurt had been crying.

“Hi,” Kurt mumbled.

Blaine kissed Kurt softly in reply.

“You're crying.”

“I thought you had forgotten,” Kurt explained, leaving off the “me”. Saying it would only make him realize how pathetic he would be, holding onto something he knew he shouldn't be. But he couldn't help it.

Kurt leaned up into a sitting position, drinking in the Blaine before him. He was so different now.

“There was a layover. I'm sorry I had you worried,” Blaine said, sitting next to Kurt.

Kurt's eyes were still focused on Blaine's. There was more. Kurt could tell. But he chose not to comment on it because his man was back. Kurt drew Blaine into him, accepting the apology.

“I miss this,” Blaine whispered between kisses, listening to the stereo starting to play Frank Sinatra. Kurt had forgotten he was on his Blaine playlist. “We'd make dinner and dance. I miss it.”

They had reservations. They had plans. But they always had reservations and plans. Maybe that was the problem.

“You don't have to,” Kurt said slowly. “Miss it,” he added, looking to Blaine.

Blaine broke out into a grin, but his eyebrows were drawn together in amazement. Kurt felt his heart stutter. Blaine hadn't looked at him like that for… Kurt wasn't sure how long. He had surprised him.

It wasn't Blaine's old New York apartment. They weren't in college. But they were happy.

“Let's make dinner here tonight,” he suggested. “I'm sure Dad won't mind as long as we clean up. And leave some for him, of course.”

“Of course,” Blaine said with an answering smile.

“Then we can go to the river,” Kurt blurted out, watching Blaine carefully.

“Alright.”

So they made dinner and sang and danced and laughed and did the dishes. Then they went to the river.

They went and they were laughing and sitting close and reminiscing, and Kurt thought that maybe their little something wonderful was safe.

“I'm having so much fun with you. We're having fun.” Kurt sighed happily, running his thumb over the back of Blaine's hand. “And tomorrow… well, I'm sure tomorrow will be better than today.” He leaned away from Blaine, smiling, it faltering only when he saw Blaine's expression. “Blaine,” he slowly spoke. “What is it?”

“I cant stay this weekend,” Blaine replied.

“I thought you said you were going to stay here for a while,” Kurt reminded, forcing a small smile as his eyes searched Blaine's, not knowing what he was looking for. What he had been looking for ever since their last anniversary.

“I… I can't stay. Not this time.” Blaine looked away. “I'm sorry. Next time. I promise.”

Kurt watched the river silently for a moment, trying to remain calm. He released Blaine's hand, resting his hands on his knees.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt kept his eyes on the flowing river water.

“Anything. Always.”

Kurt nodded, swallowing hard before looking up to Blaine. “You dont like being with me anymore, do you?”

The weight of the words hung in the air for a moment. A moment too long. Hesitation.

“Kurt—”

“No. I know. Im not good enough for your parties anymore. No, wait, thats not it. Youre too good. I just thought maybe I would be good enough for you on my birthday.” Kurt gave a humorless laugh, making to stand until he noticed the way Blaine's breathing hitched. Kurt glanced over, finding Blaine's eyes wide and hurting.

“Kurt... ”

“You forgot,” Kurt murmured.

“No, no, I didn't. Well, mean to, at least. Theres just… Rehearsals are running late. There are people expecting so much from me this time around. There's just so much on my mind—”

“Im sure there are. People. People on more than just your mind,” Kurt spat, needing to get away from Blaine before he said something he didn't mean to.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Blaine huffed, following Kurt.

“It means Im sorry I have to keep you away from a night of playing with your boyfriend.” Kurt felt his voice straining, hating the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes.

And there it was again. For just a moment. Hesitation. It was the last confirmation Kurt needed for his suspicions, as if he needed more.

“Kurt, dont get crazy—”

“Im not crazy. You are for thinking I wouldnt know. You...” Kurts breathing became uneven as his heart sped up. “You. Blaine Devon Anderson. Blaine Devon Anderson. So brilliant. So successful. So wonderful,” Kurt huffed a single, humorless laugh, watching the sarcasm wrapped around that one little word break Blaine. “Too wonderful for his Lima-bound husband who will never make anything of himself, that's for sure, and—and everyone knows it! Im your husband, Blaine!” Kurt strained his voice against the tears. “I am your husband, Blaine.”

“Kurt.” Blaine stepped forward to encircle Kurt from behind. “Kurt, I'm sorry,” he whispered. “I forgot. I was just so busy with work.”

Kurt had two options. He could fall back into Blaine's embrace and play along, the way he had been for quite some time now, or address the issue. Neither was a safe option.

“I really don't think you were working,” Kurt whispered. He felt Blaine's hold tense, surprised. “And you know that I know that. I know you know that. I'm not stupid, Blaine.” Kurt pulled Blaine's grip off of him, turning to face him. “I'm not.”

“I didn't say—I'd never say—”

“You're not working. We're not working, and maybe…” Kurt averted his gaze to the river again. “Maybe it's time that we finally handle this.”

“Handle what?” Blaine murmured, his eyes becoming wider as he looked up at Kurt.

“Blaine,”—Kurt breathed deep—“What we have, it's not the same—”

“Kurt,” Blaine uttered, his breath quickening.

“And it can't go back now. You know that, so you're looking for… something. Something that I apparently can't give to you anymore—”

“Kurt. No.”

“And that's okay. We've had our time. We've changed with time. But let's just agree to end it before we hurt more than we—”

“It? You can call everything, everything we have had the last five years “it”? What we have can't fit in a word that small and…” Blaine looked up, gathering his thoughts before looking back to Kurt. “I don't really know what's going on with us but I... I know how to love you, Kurt. You're everything to me. Together, we are everything, and… you can't do this to us.”

“Blaine,” Kurt's voice shook, “I want you to stop and think if what you're doing to me is worse than what I'm doing to us. I'm going to give you your time. To think. I guess I'll find out the answer when I go back to New York when I'm ready. But for now? I'm staying in Lima. I'm staying home."

Kurt walking away wasnt what hurt Blaine the most. More time without him wasnt it either. It was the fact that, at one point in time, Kurts home had been wherever Blaine was.