Kurt's House - November 2006

Blaine stood in front of the door, shivering in the cold. He shouldn't be cold, he was dressed for the weather in warm flannel-lined levis, thick wool socks in his Frye boots, a black button-down with gold cuff links and a heavy cardigan under his Navy pea coat and cashmere scarf. He was dressed warmly, but he just could not shake the cold tendrils that snaked up his back and into his heart as he shook his head, trying to clear it before he entered his friend's house.

He gathered his courage and rang the doorbell.

"Blaine!" Kurt grinned at seeing his best friend at his door.

"Hey, Kurt. I'm sorry I'm so early, I hope it isn't a problem but Cooper was going out and offered me a ride. The buses don't run on holidays and it's a long way to walk in the snow..." Blaine tried to explain, but Kurt cut him off.

"No, Blaine, stop! It's perfectly fine you came early. I could use some help baking the pies. Not everyone likes pumpkin, so I offered to make apple and I need to get busy or it won't be done by supper time. Are you up to doing that?" Kurt asked, leaning his head on Blaine's shoulder to look up at him in his best begging puppy impersonation. Blaine giggled.

"Of course, just show me to the apron and we're golden!" While Blaine appeared to be friendly and happy to be with anyone, it was usually just on the surface. He appeared to have many friends and indeed he was very popular at school, but he was actually a very lonely boy with the exception of Kurt who was his very best friend in the world.

"You cannot possible cook in your best clothes, Blaine. Let's go up to my room and get you something comfortable to wear until we're done cooking, okay?" Kurt asked. He didn't wait for an answer, he just grabbed Blaine's hand and started up the stairs. Once in his room, Blaine sat down in the desk chair. Kurt rummaged through his drawers and found an over-sized t-shirt and a pair of relaxed-fit jeans for Blaine to change into. Blaine got up and began removing his clothes, but after taking off his shirt he looked nervously over at Kurt.

"I can finish in here, I'll meet you downstairs as soon as I'm done," Blaine said, a little too casually. Kurt looked at his friend. They had seen each other just about every day of their lives for almost four years, in every situation and condition, so Kurt felt he knew Blaine pretty well, and he knew when something was wrong.

"Okay, Blaine. Spill." Kurt said, giving Blaine no chance to make up some lame excuse that Kurt would poke full of holes anyway.

"I can't talk about it. I will tell you if I can think of how...but not now, Kurt. We need to get the pies done. Cut me some slack, okay?" Blaine pleaded. He didn't hold out much hope that he could keep this from his best friend, but he could try for a while.

"Okay, I'll agree, but only until the apple pie is done, then we're going to discuss it." Kurt laid down the law and Blaine nodded his head in agreement. Maybe by that time he could make something up that would sound plausible. Maybe.

They went to the kitchen and Kurt began to get out the ingredients. Blaine got out the tools, having cooked with Kurt for so long he knew where it was all kept. He had been there last year the day Kurt came into the kitchen and found his grandmother collapsed on the kitchen floor. He had dialed the ambulance while Kurt tried to wake her up, but she was gone. A heart attack the doctor said. After that, Kurt didn't want to cook in the kitchen any more.

Blaine had been sympathetic for a while, but Kurt was not getting any better, so he'd gone to Kurt's dad and asked permission to redo the kitchen and together Blaine and Kurt had packed everything up while the workmen put in new cabinets and painted the walls. Where the kitchen had been bitter orange, harvest gold, and avocado green, reflecting when it had last been refurbished in the last 1960's. Kurt and Blaine had designed the new one with stainless steel appliances and the walls a shade of pale blue with bright red accents. The floor was a checkerboard black and white and the table and chairs were right from the 1950's with chrome everywhere. Kurt had no idea where Blaine had found it, but he showed up with two movers one day hauling a cherry red porcelain sink in to replace the old white enamel one.

The new kitchen had an island with a built-in stove top and the counters were all white Corian. Kurt had loved it, even making curtains with cherries in the trimming. While Kurt still missed his beloved grandmother, it was easier for him to take over the cooking duties now that it was not the same kitchen.

The boys made the pies, checked once more on the turkey and dressing, checked off the list of food for the Thanksgiving dinner. Everything was ready, so Kurt led the way down the stairs to have a talk with Blaine. He was determined to get the truth out of him this time and so he sat on the bed and patted the mattress beside him for Blaine to sit down, which he did after shedding his boots.

"Well?" Kurt started, knowing Blaine would understand what he meant. The two boys were so close that just a word was necessary for Kurt to communicate the idea to Blaine. Blaine hung his head.

"Kurt, let me start by asking if you...if you have any thoughts about how things are going to go when you start dating?" Blaine asked.

"Not really in detail, just a vague idea, why?" Kurt asked. He had actually been thinking about that very thing for months now, but it was too scary to talk to Blaine about yet.

"I hadn't much either. Until a few days ago. Kurt? Do you think I might be different than other boys?" he asked, still staying in neutral territory.

"In what way?"

"In...well.....just any way. Am I different in a way that the kids we know might notice?" Blaine asked again.

"No. Well, yes in some ways, but those are like the fact that you are smarter and kinder than any of them," Kurt smiled at Blaine. Maybe he was feeling insecure?

"Okay, if I tell you something about myself, something I'm still not even sure about, you won't judge me, will you? No matter how awful it is, we will still be friends, right?" Blaine asked, a deadly serious look on his face. "I mean, well, we always agreed we would be friends forever, no matter what comes between us. Promise me, Kurt, that you still feel that way?" Blaine's voice shook as he pushed the reluctant words from his mouth to fall on Kurt's ear. Kurt could plainly see that the secret was pulling his friend apart and truly, Kurt could forgive anything for Blaine. He wanted Blaine to be his friend until the end of time.

Kurt put his arm around his friend and held on.

"Tell me, Blaine. It can't be that awful, can it?"

"Yeah, Kurt, it can. I am so ashamed," he said as he hid his face in his arms as he pulled his knees up into his chest.

Kurt just sat for a while, patting Blaine's shoulder, taking his hand to hold tightly.

"Tell me, Blaine. Trust me, you know we are best friends forever," Kurt said.

"It happened a few days ago," Blaine started. He sighed deeply and Kurt scooted closer and put both of his arms around Blaine's shoulders. "I was in the basement changing the laundry. I had to wash my sheets because I spilled a bowl of onion dip on them when I was eating chips and watching TV. I heard someone in the hallway and when I turned to see who it was, the lights went out. I started to panic, trying to feel my way to the wall – you know there are no windows in that part of the basement." Blaine explained, disentangling himself and then got up abruptly and walked to the bathroom. He returned with a glass of water, sipping it slowly before getting back on the bed. Kurt could tell that he had washed his hands, they looked chapped like he'd been washing them a lot.

"It was kind of scary, but I just figured the storm had knocked out the power and I was thinking about where the candles and matches were kept. I was feeling my way along the wall when the person grabbed me from behind and duct taped my hands together."

Blaine sat still for a while, his head resting on his knees that were huddled up against him. His arms were clutched around his legs.

"I know you want to ask me why I didn't fight it, but honestly I was so surprised I didn't even think about it until it was too late. Then a piece of duct tape was over my mouth and I couldn't scream any more. All I could hear was a girl laughing. She sounded drunk. Kurt, I was terrified," Blaine admitted, and got up to pace back and forth across the bedroom. He sat back down next to Kurt. He curled closer to his friend and Kurt put his arm back around Blaine.

"I was tripped when someone hooked my ankle with their foot and I fell to the floor. I was trying to figure out where I was exactly when the person pulled my shirt up and started....oh, you're never going to believe this, but licking my nipples," Blaine said in a whisper in spite of the fact that they were alone in Kurt's bedroom.

"I knew it was a girl, I could smell her perfume and I knew I'd smelled it before. Then she undid my belt and unzipped my jeans, pulling them half way down my legs, and finally she did the same with my briefs. I was sitting on the floor of the basement with my pants half-way off and I couldn't see."

"Oh, my god, Blaine, weren't you scared?" Kurt asked, his hand seeking out Blaine's hand once again and holding on for dear life.

"I was terrified. I mean, all kinds of things went through my head, each thing worse than the last one. It was awful, but it got worse. She put her tongue...ah, I can't say it." Blaine sat there beside Kurt, shaking. He wanted to tell Kurt, but it was getting hard to speak.

"Maybe we can talk later?" Blaine asked.

"No, you need to get this off your chest, Blaine, and you know you can trust me, right?" Kurt asked, looking into Blaine's big brown eyes. The boy just sat there, Kurt holding him and humming a tune to try and calm him. He could feel Blaine shaking and felt so much pity for him, he was scared and upset, and who knew what else.

"Hey, hey, Blaine. Come on and let it all out. What are you afraid of?" Kurt asked. He thought he knew where this was going and he felt so badly for his friend. He was gathering his courage in his mind, knowing he would have to stand strong for Blaine. Their friends had no idea that Blaine was not the happy-go-lucky kid he appeared to be. Kurt knew the truth, he knew Blaine had nightmares and slept with a charm on a necklace in his hand to ward off the things that scared him in the dark nights.

"Kurt, she... put her hand around my...parts...and rubbed me. I didn't want her to, I felt like I was going to vomit. She wouldn't stop. I couldn't get away from her, and she held me down and made me....ah...finish. I couldn't get away and it was all over me, hot and sticky and messy. Then she laughed at me and said awful things about me," Blaine's eyes were closed and he turned his head so Kurt couldn't see his face.

"I was so scared. I thought I was going to choke, I couldn't breathe. She finally took the tape off of my mouth and as soon as she did, I threw up on her. She left me tied up and ran down the hallway and I could hear her feet as she ran up the basement steps. It was dark, so I never saw her face, and she disguised her voice, but I know who it was, I smelled her perfume."

There, it was all out there and nothing bad had happened yet. Blaine dared to open his eyes and slowly turned his head back so he could see his friend. Kurt was still there, still holding him, still humming the tune in his ear to calm him. All Blaine could think was that Kurt hadn't run away, hadn't made a face or pushed him away. He had been right to trust Kurt, they were best friends after all.

"Kurt, I'm scared to go home. I don't want to be there alone again. I can't tell my parents, they would never believe me."

"I'll think of something, I promise. In the mean time, I'll ask Dad if you can stay for a few days. We don't have school until the second week of January and your parents are gone until...??"

"February. They said they might be home for my birthday."

"Okay, I'll fix something, you can't be there any more if it isn't safe."

Kurt didn't ask why Blaine didn't go to the police, Blaine said he knew the person that did this, so maybe he could stay with the Hummels for a while.

"What about Cooper? Isn't he supposed to be watching over you? We can tell him and he can keep you safe," Kurt thought out loud. Blaine got very quiet and turned his head.

"Blaine, what is it?" Kurt asked, but he was beginning to think he knew.

"Kurt, Cooper can't know. Ever. Okay? He would never believe me. It would only make him hate me even more than he already does."

"Blaine, tell me who it was," Kurt asked in a quiet voice while he was gently coaxing Blaine to rest his head on his chest. Blaine didn't say anything.

"It was Jenn, wasn't it?"

Blaine didn't speak.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me, but Blaine - it wasn't your fault. She is sick, it wasn't anything you did. I'll see if you can stay here," Kurt promised. "Now, lie down and let me rub your back. Just rest for a while, there's plenty of time before dinner. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah...Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. That's my favorite Thanksgiving movie," Blaine smiled a small, trembling smile. Just being with his friend made him feel better. Kurt got him to lie down and set the laptop on the blanket chest at the end of the bed. Blaine was propped up on his forearms and Kurt pulled Blaine's shirt off and began massaging his friend's shoulders. He moved down his back and by the time Kurt had gotten to his arms, Blaine was sound asleep.

Downstairs an hour later:

"Dad? I have a big problem and you always told me to come to you with things I couldn't figure out for myself, right?" Kurt asked, sitting on the sofa with his father. Burt was watching a football game and Kurt was leaning back against his dad, Burt's arm around him.

"Sure Kurt, what's up, buddy?" Burt asked, the game already forgotten when he saw the look of fear and sadness on Kurt's face. "Where's Blaine?"

"Asleep on my bed. I guess he was tired."

"Okay, kiddo, what's going on?"

"What if I knew someone that was in a place that was no longer safe for him. I don't think I can do anything to change the circumstances of where he lives, but I can't just sit by and watch bad things keep happening to him," Kurt told his dad.

"Maybe I can talk to this person's parents?" Burt offered, getting concerned.

"They aren't there. They're out of town for a while on a business trip," Kurt said, trying to imagine what it would be like to have parents gone for months at a time, then imagining it all too clearly.

"Is this Blaine we're talking about?" Burt asked, although he knew it was. Not much went on that Kurt didn't mention about his best friend.

"Yeah. I didn't get his permission to talk about it with you, but this time it seems too serious to wait," Kurt said.

"Can you tell me what happened to him?"

"No, he wouldn't want me to, but it's bad. He's scared to be in that house, Dad. He was shaking and crying and wouldn't even tell me exactly what was going on," Kurt said.

"Is it Cooper?"

"No. But he didn't want Cooper to know. Dad, I have to do something. Maybe I can stay over there with him for a while?" Kurt asked, hoping that Burt would see how much Blaine needed him.

"Kurt, if it isn't safe for Blaine, I can't let you go there. I can't let you be in an unsafe place, son."

"Oh, well, I had to ask."

"Kurt, I think we can make a place for him to stay here. I think that would keep him safe and I'd feel better if I could keep an eye on him. Do you think he'd do that?" Burt proposed.

"I'll go ask him," Kurt smiled a sad little smile at his dad. "Thank you, Dad. I love you."

"I love you, too, Kiddo."

Blaine was sleeping for the first time in days, all the terrible thoughts being kept at bay for now. He was so tired from having to be half awake in his house, not knowing if she was coming back, if she would come into his room again. He was scared to tell anyone, he knew they would make fun of him for not wanting a girl to have sex with him. It wasn't like that, though, they would never understand.

He was waking up, he knew he was because suddenly he could smell roasting turkey, cinnamon, sage, and all the scents he associated with Thanksgiving. He was actually very thankful this year. He was part of a family gathering with people he knew and loved, even if it wasn't his family. A smile crossed his face and he opened his eyes.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Have a nice nap?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah...how long did I sleep? Blaine asked.

"About three hours. You looked so tired, I figured you needed it."

"I haven't been sleeping very well, that's true. Thanks, Kurt."

"Hey, we're going over to your house after dinner to pack some of your stuff. I spoke to Dad and he says you can stay here with us until your parents get back from Japan," Kurt told his friend.

"That isn't until February, I can't be here that much time," Blaine said, but he wondered if he really could. Walking around the big empty house across town was getting to be a scary thing. He knew he shouldn't be afraid, the girl hadn't actually hurt him, it was just....he didn't know how to think about it. He remembered the awful feeling of panic, then vomiting when she pulled the tape from his mouth. He'd worked his pocket knife from his jeans and cut the tape enough to tear it off, then ran to his room, locking the door and running the hottest shower he could. It didn't help, no matter how much he scrubbed and scrubbed his skin it still felt dirty.

He took the clothes he was wearing and put them in a bag, throwing it into the trash can and burning them in the back yard. Even that didn't make it go away.

Then after two weeks of feeling awful, he finally had to tell someone. It was eating him alive, he couldn't think properly or concentrate. He found things to do away from home so he didn't have to talk to Cooper because when he did, he felt guilty. He hadn't talked to Jenn since that day. If Cooper was bringing her over, Blaine either went to Kurt's or the library. He walked in the park until late at night, then crept in the back door and up the back stairs to lie shivering in his bed behind his locked door. Even Cooper noticed and asked him if he was sick or something.

It got so bad he stopped looking in the mirror, stopped fixing his hair other than to comb it and when he stopped eating Cooper came to talk to him one morning. Coop had been with Jenn the night before and when Blaine smelled her perfume on his brother, he barely made it to the bathroom to lose what little food was left in his belly. He told Cooper he had the flu and his brother made him chicken soup for lunch and brought him ginger ale.

All of Cooper's caring and pampering would stop once he found out what happened, so Blaine didn't tell him. On Thanksgiving morning he couldn't take it any more. He hitched a ride over to Kurt's house with Coop and told his best friend. Kurt was the only one that he could talk to and it was such a relief to spill it all out that he'd fallen asleep.

"Let's go down and get the table set. Rachel and her dads are coming and Mercedes and her mom, too. Are you going to be okay, Blaine?" Kurt asked seriously.

"Yeah, as long as you're there, Kurt. You're my best friend," Blaine said and Kurt gave him a hug. He hoped Blaine would be okay.

After dinner, Burt drove Blaine to his house and he and Kurt went up to his room to pack some things: toothbrush, pajamas, enough clothes to last a while. Cooper didn't come home so Blaine left him a note to say where he was. They left a while later, not looking back.

At Kurt's house, Burt called Blaine into the den to talk to him.

"Hey, kid. Kurt told me you aren't comfortable with being alone in your house. He said you weren't safe. Now he didn't tell me anything else, but if you need help I'm here. Hey, you are one of our family, or at least I think of you as another son to me. If you want to talk or anything, I'll listen. I won't push you to tell me anything, but I'll listen. Do you understand?" Burt asked and Blaine sat with his head down. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want Burt to know what happened to him, he was so ashamed of it, but it felt so good to know that Burt cared, that he considered Blaine one of his family.

"Thank you, Mr. Hummel. I appreciate it so much. I get an allowance, so I can pay you back. Or I can work, I learned a lot in the garage working for you two summers ago. I can shovel snow or anything, just let me pay you back somehow. It isn't right if I don't pay my own way," Blaine blurted out.

"Okay, son. You can take over some of Kurt's chores. I'd appreciate the help. You're a good kid, Blaine, and I'm glad to have you here. Now, get to bed. I'll be downstairs in a few minutes to tuck you two in."

Blaine ran down the basement stairs, so relieved he would be here. Kurt was in the bathroom taking a shower, so Blaine got ready for bed. He'd take his shower in the morning. He got out a movie from his suitcase and popped it into the player. He and Kurt usually watched a movie on the nights he stayed over. He had a scary one tonight. He'd just bought The Descent

and it looked like it would be good.

There were two beds in the room, one twin bed on the east wall and Kurt's queen sized one on the west. They usually watched a movie sitting on Kurt's bed, the television was closer. Blaine was sitting cross-legged on the bed when Kurt came out, wrapped in a fluffy white robe.

"Hey, got a movie picked out?" he asked and Blaine grinned at him.

"Yeah, you're going to love this."

Kurt slipped his robe off and got his pajamas out, putting them on as the two boys talked. Kurt got into bed next to Blaine and they laid down on their stomachs, resting on their elbows with their chins in their hands. Blaine hit 'play' and the movie started, Kurt turned out the lights.

About halfway into the movie, it was getting scarier and scarier, the boys were practically in each other's laps, hands over their eyes or holding hands. When the heroine fell down the hole and broke her leg, the scary guy following her, Kurt hid his face in Blaine's neck, not daring to look. Probably neither boy saw the end of the movie, they were both so scared.

"What made you buy such an awful movie, Blaine?" Kurt asked. Blaine just smiled.

"I thought you liked scary movies! You always pick them to go see when we go to the movies."

Kurt didn't want to say it, but he usually picked scary ones because he liked holding Blaine's hand when the movie got scary. He knew that wasn't really acceptable, but it was okay if it was at a scary movie.

"Let's get to bed. I want to go to the mall in the morning and the stores open early. I want to get all my Christmas shopping done," Kurt said to cover why he didn't answer the last question.

"Sounds good. Good night, Pooh-bear. And....thank you for understanding why I didn't want to stay at my house. Thanks for asking your dad," Blaine said, really grateful.

"No problem, Piglet. Good night."

Blaine was asleep in the smaller bed, tossing and turning. He thought having a different bed to sleep in might make the dreams stop, but he kept having the worst one - the one where he was tied up and hands came at him, but he couldn't stop them no matter how much he struggled or screamed and nobody came. He was just going through it for the third time when he felt hands on his shoulders. He sat up in bed, groggy from sleep and burst into tears, still so scared.

"Hey, hey, now..it's okay, Blaine. I'm here for you. I won't let anyone hurt you, Piglet. I'm here..." Kurt said. He put his arms around Blaine to stop his shaking. "Hey, calm down. Come here," he coaxed and Blaine put his arms around Kurt.

"Oh? Oh, Kurt. It was awful. I was tied up again and I couldn't move and I could smell her perfume...I was going to hurl, but my mouth was sewn shut..." he was shaking.

"Come with me, Blaine," Kurt said and took his hand, leading him to his own bed. Kurt climbed in and flapped the covers back, patting the space next to himself. Blaine gladly climbed in next to Kurt, and turned his back. Kurt scooted close and put his arms around his friend, holding him close. He hummed the lullaby from Tarzan, and felt relieved when Blaine relaxed.

"Hey, you're going to be okay, Blaine. I won't let anything hurt you, you're my best friend," he said.

The sound of Kurt's soft voice was a comfort to Blaine and he believed him when he said he would keep him safe. He melted into Kurt's embrace, knowing he would be able to sleep now. Blaine had a lot of things in his life to be afraid of, some physical but most emotional. He worried a lot that there was something wrong with him, some reason his parents didn't like him, his own brother didn't care about him. He tried so hard to make them proud, but nothing he did seemed to matter. They said they loved him, and it was true that Cooper had been more attentive, talked to him and taking him places after he ran away to Kurt's summer camp two years ago, but it didn't last. He was still a burden on Cooper and Cooper wasn't afraid to remind him. Maybe living with the Hummels would make Cooper miss him. Only time would tell.

Morning came and Blaine was awake at six. His legs were tangled with Kurt's and their fingers were laced together. Blaine's head was cradled on Kurt's neck, his arm holding him close. Did they sleep that way all night? He didn't want Kurt to think he was creepy, so he tried to move before Kurt woke up, but Kurt's reaction was to hold him tighter.

He had to move soon. He was trying to squirm away so Kurt didn't feel his morning erection. He'd been getting them for almost a year and it was one thing he felt like he couldn't mention to Kurt. He liked sleeping curled up together ever since the summer he stowed away to camp and hid in Kurt's cabin, and Kurt seemed to like it, too since they always ended up together when Blaine stayed over.

He knew what was going on, why his body was doing this. They saw a film in school and Cooper told him, too. He knew it was natural, and he knew what to do to take care of it, but he could hardly do that in Kurt's house. He was thinking of a way to get rid of it or to get away from Kurt for a little while when his bedfellow moved. Oh...well, Kurt would understand after all, Blaine thought when he felt Kurt's hard morning erection rubbing against his hip.

"Hey, Kurt, let go...I have to use the bathroom," Blaine said, pushing Kurt a little to get loose, He got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. He heard Kurt get up and walk down the hallway to use the other bathroom.

Just a few minutes later the two were back in the bedroom, both blushing furiously, but they got dressed with no awkward words and were ready to have breakfast and walk to the mall by six thirty.

"Hey, Blaine, I was just wondering..." Kurt started to say, but his voice ran out. He had been turning over questions in his mind, and he didn't want to ask anything that would upset him.

Blaine looked over at Kurt. They were walking down the street, on their way to the mall to do some Christmas shopping, stopping to throw a snowball at each other once in a while.

"Yeah?" Blaine said.

"Never mind."

"No, you were going to ask me something, what was it?"

"I...I don't remember now," Kurt stuttered. He had totally chickened out.

"Kurt, just ask me. If I don't want to talk about it, I'll tell you. Since when are you afraid to ask me something?"

"I'm sorry, Blaine. It was none of my business. I just blurted that out, but now I'm sorry. Let's just change the subject, okay?" Kurt said, blushing just a bit because he knew he fucked up.

They walked for another block, watching the cars go by. Blaine saw an old lady trying to shovel her walk and gave Kurt a look. Kurt nodded back and they stopped and finished shoveling for the woman, refusing any money as they went on their way.

"Kurt, just ask me. Now I can't get it out of my head, so let's get it over with," Blaine whined.

"Okay, but you don't have to answer me if you don't want to and I'll understand,"

"Deal."

"What did it feel like? I mean when she...when she put her mouth on you?" Kurt asked, blushing deep red this time.

Blaine just kept walking, not looking at Kurt.

"Hey, I'm sorry. That was so inappropriate. I shouldn't have asked," Kurt apologized.

"No, it's okay. I was just trying to think. I was so scared, it kind of didn't feel like anything at first. I didn't want it to feel like anything, I wanted to get away. Then she...well, when she had all of me in her mouth it did feel good. That was probably the worst part of it. I didn't want it to feel good, Kurt, but she wasn't letting go. She was saying all these dirty things right before and I kept trying not to think about those, then I couldn't ignore what she was doing to me," Blaine had a sick look on his face.

"You don't have to say anymore, Blaine. I'm sorry, I should never have brought it up," Kurt said, ashamed of himself.

"No, I think it's good you did. I keep thinking about it, about how I could have gotten away or fought harder. Was it my fault? I don't know. Maybe I said something to her?" he rambled on, thinking aloud all the things he'd been holding in his mind since it happened.

"I might not know a lot, Blaine, but I know for dead certain you did not bring this on yourself. It was not your fault. Okay?" Kurt told his friend.

"But? She must have thought there was a reason to pick me. Wasn't Cooper giving her what she needed? They are all over each other, all the time, I don't know why she needed me."

"I think she's just sick, Blaine. Sick in the head. Maybe we should go to the police. If she did this to you, maybe she did it to other kids, too. Or maybe we can stop her from doing it to anyone else. Don't you think?" Kurt asked, trying not to look at Blaine in case he was still feeling bad.

"I don't know. I think Cooper would kill me. I don't know if it's worth it, you know what happens to people who tell – I've read about it. Especially because I'm a boy, nobody will believe me," Blaine said, sounding resigned. "It was...I don't know how to say this, Kurt." Blaine was crying now and Kurt felt awful. He steered Blaine to the park and cleared the snow off a bench deep in the trees where they were sheltered from the street.

"Just spill it all out, Blaine. There's nobody here but me, and you know I will understand. We're best friends and I always have your back, I'm always on your side. Now, tell me," Kurt said, holding Blaine's hand to make him feel better.

"I didn't want it, I was scared..but after a few minutes, Kurt, it felt good. You ...well, have you ever done it to yourself? Jerked off?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah."

"Then you know what it feels like. There's the point that you get to that you just wouldn't be able to stop. Even if you hadn't meant to get there, even if you know you should stop, you're past that place and you know you have to finish. Well, it was like that. I hated it, but I wanted it, too. If she could tell that I wanted it, then maybe she wasn't wrong? Maybe I did somehow let her know I wanted her to do that. It was like jerking off, but at the same time, it wasn't. It was...I don't know? Better? It was warmer and wetter, and I felt...different. Maybe it was my fault," Blaine put his feet up on the bench to curl his arms around his legs. He put his forehead on his knees and closed his eyes. He was so tired of thinking about this.

"Blaine, let me ask you something, okay?' Kurt put a hand on his friends back.

"Yeah?" Blaine grumbled.

"If you wanted this so badly, why did you hurl when she was done?" he asked gently.

Blaine didn't move. He hadn't thought about that. He had vomited as soon as the tape was off of his mouth, but he'd wanted to do it the whole time. He'd been panicked that he might vomit while the tape was still on his mouth and he would choke to death. He started to shake then, leaning closer to Kurt and he couldn't stop the trembling in his legs and it spread to his arms and soon he was just shaking all over, crying into Kurt's shoulder.

"It's okay, Blaine. Let it out. This was not your fault. It was wrong for her to do that and no matter what you might have said or done, you did not deserve to be raped."

"Raped? No, she didn't..." Blaine started to say, but stopped. That was what he felt like happened. She might not have stuck a cock inside him, but what she did was the same thing. He looked at Kurt. What was he to do now?

"Blaine, it's going to be okay. You can talk to my dad if you want, you know he thinks about you like you're his own kid. Would that be better for you?"

"No. Talking to you helps, though. You don't blame me, and that's all I care about right now. C-c-can you just hold me?" Blaine begged, clutching on to his friend.

"Sure, Blaine. Sure." he said, holding Blaine tightly around his waist, then unbuttoning his coat so Blaine could put his head on Kurt's chest to hear his heart beat. They stayed that way for a long time, until Blaine had stopped shaking and Kurt had felt able to let go without Blaine flying into a million pieces.

"Are you feeling better now?" Kurt asked, looking deep into Blaine's eyes.

"Yeah, I am. We can go ahead to the mall now, I'll be okay," Blaine said, starting to get up.

"I think we should go back to the house. We can make cookies or something and watch a movie. I don't need to go shopping and I think you might need to rest?" Kurt asked.

"Okay. Cookies and a movie sound good. Thanks for being there for me, Kurt."

It was the beginning of Christmas break at school and the boys were once more snowed in at the Hummel house. Burt had braved the drifts and gone out that morning to work. He had a tow truck at the shop and usually made enough to buy some nice Christmas presents if it snowed a lot before Christmas.

"Hey, what do you think we should get your dad for Christmas?" Blaine asked Kurt as they finished breakfast and were doing the dishes.

"I would love to get him some new clothes...not flannel!" Kurt smirked. Everyone knew all Burt ever wore were plaid flannel shirts and blue jeans.

"No, I'm serious. I want to get him something really great. He's always been there for me and he's not even my dad. I want to say thank you in a big way," Blaine said, a shy smile on his face.

"I'll help you think about it. I got him a subscription to Popular Mechanics and some new clothes. He's kind of hard to buy for," Kurt groaned. He never knew what to get his dad.

"What do you want, Kurt?" Blaine asked, smiling a much brighter smile at his friend.

"Hmmm...I'll have to think about it. Maybe some new music?" he said and Blaine smiled.

"There's too much snow out there now, let's just stay in and bake cookies again. We can watch a Christmas movie," Blaine thought.

"Okay, but it can't be the one you always want to watch...that isn't even a Christmas movie!" Kurt snorted.

"Hey, don't say Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie!! It is. John McLain is at his wife's office Christmas party, isn't he? That makes it a Christmas movie." Blaine's lower lip came out in a pout. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"All right. We can watch it. But if you get to pick that one, I get to see White Christmas!

"Kurt, we've watched White Christmas three times already this week," Blaine said with a sigh. Normally they liked the same movies, but in this case....

"Okay, we can watch Die Hard. But I get to pick tomorrow, all right?" Kurt said, drawing a finger down Blaine's chest.

"Deal."

Later the boys had eaten lunch and were sprawled on the sofa in the den watching Bruce Willis pick glass out of his feet and swing from elevator cables. Kurt was burying his head in Blaine's chest every time a violent scene came on. It never crossed his mind that this was the reason Blaine liked the movie so much having Kurt so close to him.

"Is it over?" Kurt's muffled voice came from somewhere in the vicinity of Blaine's chest, a blanket covering his head.

"No, I'll tell you," Blaine lied. The scene was over, but he wanted Kurt to stay close a few more minutes. He wondered if it was weird, he didn't see other guys touch each other so much, even guys that were close friends like Mike and Finn. Of course, Puck touched everybody, but he was an entity unto himself – that boy never stopped touching people, usually inappropriately. Blaine tried to repress a giggle as he thought of last week at school when Puck had slid his hand up Rachel Berry's dress, just to the top of her thigh, but the window-shattering scream that she unleashed! Wow. Blaine was giggling again.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Kurt asked, coming up for air.

"I was thinking about Puck and Rachel in the lunchroom last week. I never heard anything that loud that wasn't on train tracks. Wow, that girl has a steam whistle." Blaine grinned at Kurt, but got a glare in return.

"I didn't find that funny in the least. Poor Rachel, she was traumatized. Puck's lucky she was too upset to tell the dean, he might have gotten expelled," Kurt huffed.

"Oh, come on, you know Puck's harmless. He would never do anything that would go too far. He was teasing her," Blaine said, surprised at Kurt's anger.

"Blaine, it was too far. Rachel was crying in the girl's room later. You of all people should understand that," Kurt said.

Blaine froze. Kurt was right, and now he felt terrible. He'd laughed with the rest of the guys at the table, not thinking that it would upset Rachel so much. He liked Rachel, he wouldn't want her to feel as bad as he did. He turned back to Kurt, tears threatening.

"I didn't think about that, Kurt. Oh, now I feel terrible. I should have done something..." Blaine was the picture of sadness.

"No, it's okay. I sat with her for a while. I think she was more surprised than angry. I made sure she was all right before I left her, so no worries," Kurt soothed his friend.

"Well, in that case. I'll be nice to her when I see her again. I can't believe I was that stupid..." Blaine said with remorse.

"Let's go get something to eat, I'm hungry," Kurt offered to get Blaine's mind off of it. He noticed Blaine was easily upset these days. He had spoken about his ordeal to Kurt a few times, but steadfastly refused to talk to the police or to Burt. Kurt thought time would change his mind, so he just made sure Blaine knew he was available.

Sitting in the kitchen while Blaine dished up the ice cream, Kurt idly played with the fork and spoon that were on the table. He put the tines of the fork on the end of the spoon and balanced them on the metal straw in the glass in front of him. It was just something to do with his hands while he sat there, thinking about clearing up the dishes from lunch before his dad got home at six.

"Whattcha doin'?" Blaine asked, watching as Kurt played with the utensils.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about stuff. Nothing important," Kurt said. Blaine looked over at Kurt and caught a melancholy look in his eye. Then he almost smacked himself in the face. He knew what was wrong. It happened around this time every year. Kurt was missing his mother. Blaine came and set the dish of ice cream in front of him, sitting beside Kurt instead of across from him at the table.

"Penny for your thoughts," Blaine said.

"Ah...I wasn't really thinking of anything, just waiting for the ice cream," Kurt said.

"I was thinking...it's getting close to Christmas and your dad is working such long hours, how about if we get out all the Christmas decorations and set them up and surprise him?" Blaine asked.

Kurt's eyes sparkled.

"That is a wonderful idea! We can go up in the attic this afternoon, I know where Dad keeps them. Oh, Blaine, that is a great idea!" Kurt looked so happy, Blaine was proud of himself.

After they ate the ice cream, Blaine called his brother. Cooper had a jeep and didn't have any problems in the snow. Blaine had spoken to him last night and he didn't have to work today, so he got him to come over and they went to pick out a tree.

"Hey, Squirt, how tall?" Cooper asked when they got to the tree nursery.

"It has to be at least six feet. I want it to fill the front window so Burt sees it when he comes home tonight," Blaine said, Kurt nodding in agreement. The three boys walked all over and finally found the perfect tree. They took it over to the man to pay for it and as both Kurt and Blaine reached for their wallets, Cooper handed the man his credit card.

"This one's on me, guys. I want you to have a good Christmas this year."

"Cooper, you'll be there, you know we invited you last week," Kurt said, smiling at his friend's brother.

"Yeah, of course I'll be there. Thank your dad for me, Kurt, it was nice of him to include me."

"You're family, Cooper. I hope you realize that," Kurt smiled. Blaine got a warm feeling all through his body at those words. He had a family, but it never felt like one, he always found that the Hummels were more of a family to him than his own.

"I do, Kurt. Thank you. Now, let's get this tied on the jeep and get it home," Cooper said, lifting the tree.

"Are you coming in to help decorate?" Kurt asked.

"No, not this time. I need to be somewhere," Cooper said, looking sober...almost sad but determined.

"Where is that?" Blaine asked. He would really like to have his brother decorate the tree with them.

"Ah...well, it's that I have to go see Jenn. I'm breaking up with her. We had a fight last week and another one yesterday. I just can't keep doing this, she is...I don't know. Acting funny. I don't know what's wrong with her. I'm going to go pick her up and have a talk with her, but I'm pretty sure we're not going to be a couple any more." Cooper looked wrecked.

Blaine hugged him, not saying anything.

"Call us if you don't want to be alone later, Coop," Kurt said, patting the older boy on the arm before he got in his jeep and took off.

"You okay, Blaine?" Kurt asked, his eyes on his friend's face.

"Yeah. I hate to say it, but I'm glad they're breaking up. Now I never have to tell him what Jenn did," Blaine whispered. Kurt put his arms around Blaine and held him close.

"Let's go get the ornaments," Blaine said, shaking his head a little to clear the memories. He was determined to have a good time now.

They set up the tree, putting it in the front window. Then they went up to the attic.

"Are you sure you know where they are?" Blaine asked, surveying the chaos around him. There were boxes and trunks, bags and suitcases, old furniture and books all over the room.

"Yeah, they're over here," Kurt said from behind a stack of boxes and behind a huge steamer trunk.

Blaine walked over, looking at some of the books and wondering what on Earth could be in all those boxes.

"I think these are the lights, and over here are the ornaments," Kurt said, smiling. He didn't get in the attic very often, but when he did it was a wonderland of things to explore. He was thrilled that Blaine was here with him to share in the fun.

"Dad used to put lights up all over the outside of the house, and we have reindeer he made of wood that he put on the roof, and Santa's workshop for the front lawn. I think it's all up here somewhere. He hasn't put it up since Mom died," Kurt said and sniffed.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, knowing that thoughts of his mother had been with Kurt all day.

"It's the dust. I'm allergic," Kurt said, wiping suspiciously at his eye.

"Let's see, I can get his box if you bring those..." Blaine offered. They stacked the boxes they wanted by the hole in the floor where the ladder waited.

"Hey, come see this..." Kurt called, opening a trunk. Blaine came over and Kurt showed him the Navy uniform his grandfather wore during World War II. There were all kinds of medals and things to go with it. Another box revealed newspaper articles about his grandmother winning a ribbon at the state fair for a quilt she had made. Blaine looked closely at the picture.

"Hey, this is the quilt that's on your bed, Kurt!"

"Yeah, she gave it to me. I always loved sitting with her when it was on her bed. She could tell me where each piece of fabric came from. One from her mother's apron, a piece of my mother's dress from her first day of high school, things like that. I can probably still tell you where most of them came from," Kurt smiled, his eyes far away. He stopped and shook his head. "Okay, we better get going before time runs out. I want to get it all decorated before Dad gets home."

The boys work all afternoon, untangling the lights and putting them on the tree, hanging the ornaments and talking about the special ones. Blaine had been spending Christmas with Kurt for years, so he knew where a lot of the ornaments came from.

"Here's the one your grandmother gave you the first year I spent the holidays with you," Blaine smiled at the memory as he handed Kurt the blown glass pine cone. Kurt hung it on the tree.

"Oh! This is the one you got me last year!" Kurt grinned, placing the music note on a branch. They had most of the ornaments up now, and Blaine found the one Kurt held in a special place in his heart.

"Kurt, here's the last one," he smiled at his friend and handed him the tiny perfume bottle that had belonged to his mother. Blaine had tears in his eyes, knowing it would bring tears to Kurt's eyes, too.

"Thank you, Blaine," Kurt said, taking the tiny cut glass bottle. He held it up to his nose first and his eyes closed in memory. Last year he had realized it no longer smelled like her, the scent was gone after so many years. Blaine had gone to a store in Columbus and purchased a small bottle of the same perfume, Chanel No 5, and refilled Kurt's tiny bottle so it would smell like his mother once again. Kurt had noticed it immediately when he entered the room Christmas morning and tears appeared immediately. He had turned to Blaine, knowing instinctively that he had been the one to do it, and threw his arms around his friend, hugging him.

This year as Kurt hung the tiny bottle, the scent spreading in the room, he smiled at Blaine and held out his arms.

Blaine went to him and they just stood there, embracing for a long time.

"Blaine, you're my best friend in the whole world."

To say Burt was surprised when he got home was an understatement. He turned the corner of his street and noticed some new Christmas lights were up along the block. It wasn't until he turned into his driveway he saw what the boys had done. There on the front lawn was the Santa's workshop he had made for Kurt when he was just a little boy. On the roof were the reindeer, just as they had been all those years ago. Lights were everywhere, and in the front window was the tree, decorated and lit up.

Coming into the house, Burt was grinning from ear to ear. There was the tree, all the lights on it and the ornaments and tinsel. There were bunches of holly and pine boughs around the doorways, and mistletoe hanging from the hall door frame. On the fireplace mantle were four stockings, the two Burt and Kurt had that Elizabeth had made and the other two were made by Kurt for Blaine and Cooper the first Christmas they were with the Hummels. All the memories came crowding into the room and Burt turned to see his boys. He grabbed Kurt, swinging him around, then grabbed Blaine and gave him the same treatment. Both boys laughed, so happy their surprise had pleased Burt so much.

Dinner that night was great, everyone talking at once, laughing and reminiscing about Christmases long ago. The boys were tired and talking about going to bed when a knock came to the door. Kurt answered it and Cooper was standing there.

"Can I speak to Blaine?" he asked, very pale and shaken.

"Of course, Coop. Come in. Can I get you something to eat? We have plenty left over from dinner..." Kurt started to offer, but Cooper walked past him.

Blaine was standing in the doorway and when he saw his brother, he ran to him, "Cooper, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I need to talk to you in private, Squirt. Kurt can come, too, but...I need to tell you," Cooper said.

"Let's go down to my room, Cooper, my dad is in there watching a ball game, we can have privacy in my room."

Cooper walked as if he was in a daze. He sat in the desk chair next to Kurt's bed and just stared at Blaine for a few minutes.

"I went to see Jenn. When I got there, cops were all over the place. Her father was standing there, a look of shock on his face. Her mother was crying. I thought something like an accident happened. But it was much worse," Cooper put his head down for a minute to collect himself.

"They were there to arrest Jenn. How can you know someone for years...years...and still not know them? They arrested her for sexual assault on a minor. I thought it was...a mistake. They let me speak to her for a moment and I asked her, did she want me to get her a lawyer, I kept telling her we would get it fixed, that the police would find out it was the wrong person. She just looked at me and said that they did not have the wrong person. That she had done it," Cooper just sat there, crushed.

Blaine was shaking by now, and Kurt gathered him close, holding his friend because it was the only thing he knew to do. He was overwhelmed. Here were his closest friends, people he considered to be his family, and he was lost as to what to do. Blaine was clutching his chest, his fist balled up in Kurt's shirt. Blaine was sobbing, talking but no words were discernible.

Cooper went from being in shock to staring at his brother.

"Hey. Blaine? I didn't know you were so close to her? I mean, you barely spoke to her – why are you so upset?" Coop looked at Kurt as if he could offer some clue to Blaine's break down.

Kurt leaned down and whispered in Blaine's ear, stroking his head trying to comfort him. Blaine nodded yes and Kurt looked at Cooper.

"He's not upset she got caught, Cooper. He's relieved," Kurt said and Cooper just looked at the two boys, holding each other like the world was ending.

"I don't understand, Kurt."

"It's because Jenn didn't just make some kid you don't know her victim. She did it to Blaine, too," Kurt said. Cooper fell to the floor, unconscious.

Kurt had carefully gotten Blaine on the bed and checked Cooper to be sure he was breathing, then ran for his dad. Burt took one look at his son's face when he came running in the room and was out of his chair, following Kurt back down the stairs. Kurt was explaining as fast as he could, trying to be accurate and concise so Burt knew what he would find in the basement. By the time the two Hummels got to the basement, Cooper was awake again, sitting on the floor looking dazed.

It took a long time for everything to unravel, Burt holding Cooper and Kurt holding Blaine as the entire story came out. In his mind, Burt wondered why Kurt hadn't come to him earlier, but then -the boys were only twelve and had just made a bad decision. Burt wasn't angry with them.

When everything had been laid on the table, Burt asked the Anderson boys if they wanted him to contact their parents. Both panicked and it was a while before Burt was able to calm them down. Cooper was a grown man, twenty two now and could make his own decisions, but Burt offered to let him stay with them for a while. His heart went out to the confused kid when he saw how grateful Cooper was to accept the offer. Blaine was looking less pale, but his face was blotchy and swollen from crying. Burt noticed that Kurt hadn't let go of Blaine since the whole thing began.

"I think we all need to get some sleep tonight and call the police in the morning. Cooper, you can sleep in the bed down here. Blaine and Kurt usually share the bigger bed. I can stay here for a while if you want me to," Burt said, looking from one set of sad eyes to the next.

"I think we'll be okay. Thank you, Mr. Hummel, you don't know how much I appreciate what you've done for Blaine and me. Not just now, but ever since we met," Cooper said.

They all got into pajamas and went to bed, Kurt holding Blaine in his arms once again. Blaine sent a thank you to whomever was in charge of the universe to thank them for giving him Kurt as a friend. He finally dozed off into a fitful sleep, his breathing shaky as he cried in his sleep. Across the room, Cooper was in a similar state. Kurt thanked his father silently, vowing to tell him in the morning how much he loved him. Blaine shivered in his sleep and Kurt tugged him closer and kissed the top of his head.

"We love you, Blaine," he whispered, "and we'll keep you safe."