Sept. 10, 2011, 4:18 p.m.
Black Hole Sun : And Wash Away the Rain
E - Words: 2,356 - Last Updated: Sep 10, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 4/4 - Created: Sep 10, 2011 - Updated: Sep 10, 2011 1,380 0 1 1 0
Senior year drifts by in a haze. Kurt struggles through each day. Blaine is gone. Everyone except Wes thinks he ran away. Kurt knows better, is certain that his boyfriend would never desert him unless something bad happened. The days grow shorter. Kurt sits in his english class and watches the snow fall from the sky. As the students chatter mindlessly around him, he wonders if Blaine is cold or hurt or hungry. The teacher doesn’t even bother him about assignments anymore.
Mr. Somers knows he hasn’t completed homework all semester, and is unlikely to anytime soon. Kurt hunches down in his desk. Blaine could be outside without a jacket or proper shoes. He’d been wearing black high water pants, a light t-shirt, and sandals the day he disappeared. Kurt worries that he might get sick if nobody gets him some clothes. After school, he panics and asks Finn if he’ll take him to the mall.
Finn smiles, apparently eager to take him absolutely anywhere at anytime. Kurt knows it’s because he hasn’t done anything at all for the last few months. Puck and Rachel look at him with hope, ask him to rejoin Glee Club. He merely glares at them. They back off and let him pass. Singing hurt too much. Whenever he tries it, the notes are flat because he keeps wondering if Blaine is still alive or if his body is decomposing in a shallow grave somewhere upstate. It doesn’t feel right to sing when the love of his life is missing.
Kurt spends hours each day contemplating possible scenarios, and the only one he can really rule out is the one everyone else believes in: Blaine ran away. He wouldn’t do that to Kurt. They loved each other. It’s all he has to cling to, so he grips it tightly and ignores the whispers behind his back that gay kids run away every day. Finn takes him to the mall, asking him if he wants to see a movie.
Shaking his head, Kurt simply walks into Dick’s Sporting goods. Fall is nearly over and winter hovers closely in the air. Coats are everywhere. He picks out a coat he knows Blaine will like, some gloves, shoes, and a hat he knows Blaine will coo over. A striped scarf hangs delicately on a random rack. Kurt piles them on the counter, hands over all of the cash in his wallet, and asks the clerk to bag them up. Finn stares at him mutely, finally realizing what is going on.
The crestfallen look on his stepbrother’s face does nothing to deter him. Kurt asks Finn to drive him to Columbus. Finn seems reluctant, but agrees. The ride is silent and tense. Kurt knows the city well. Every day during the summer he had come up here with Wes. They handed out flyers, asked around for Blaine, and shelled out their savings accounts trying to get information from the tight lipped denizens living on the streets. Kurt would still come out here if his father hadn’t taken his car away. Once Burt had found out that he’d taken the car across state lines several times without permission, he’d lost a gasket and grounded him for weeks.
Finn eyes the hookers, homeless, and young runaways warily. Kurt approaches a familiar black woman smiling down at him. Lola knows him, is well aware of what he’s doing here, and instantly clutches his arm. She takes the clothes. After she’s gone, he sits in the rundown truck and cries.
“Kurt?” Finn asks nervously, clearly afraid of any answer he’ll give. “I thought--I thought you were getting better. I mean, I thought maybe you wanted to buy some new clothes or something. Why did you give that lady that stuff?”
“Because.” Kurt sobs into his gloved hands. “I wanted to.”
“You know he’s not here.” Finn sighs, frustrated. “You know it!”
“I know.” Kurt huddles against the door, his energy drained. “But there are other kids out there. Maybe someone else will help Blaine stay warm.”
Finn stays silent for the rest of the trip. Burt is furious when they arrive home. Kurt barely blinks at his angry rant, watching the snow come down harder than before.
2.
Blaine’s mother stops by the house on a warm, sunny day in late April. Carol is home and answers the door. The thin Filipino woman steps into their house, indicating she has several boxes piled in her car. Finn helps her unload them and carries them up to Kurt’s room. He stares numbly at her, tracing his fingers over the black letters that spell Blaine.
“I’m sorry.” Mrs. Anderson begins, looking at him guiltily. “We’re moving away. I thought that you might like to have his things.”
Kurt glares angrily at her, clutching tightly to the edge of the box. “What if he comes home?”
“What?” She gasps, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “Kurt. I don’t think Blaine is coming back.”
“You didn’t even try to look for him!” Kurt accuses, furious and upset. “What if he calls, or knocks, or drives by, and you’re not there?”
“Kurt!” Carol interrupts from the doorway. “That’s enough.”
Kurt lets Mrs. Anderson leave, ignores his stepmother’s angry look, and instantly yanks all of Blaine’s belongings out of the four cardboard boxes. The shirts get hung up in his closet, the uniform is pressed and carefully stowed in the back, and he sorts all of Blaine’s scarves by color. The striped grey and red one goes around his neck. He lays down on the bed, wrapped in one of Blaine’s sweaters, and tries to remember what he smelled like.
3.
The support group is supposed to help, but it doesn’t. It just makes things worse. Burt makes Kurt go. He obliges because he really has nothing else to do or care about. Two years have passed and nothing has changed. Blaine is still missing. Everyone has given up on him, even Wes. Kurt is the only one that remembers to buy him birthday, christmas, and Valentine’s presents. Sometimes he calls the radio station and dedicates songs to Blaine, to let him know that he hasn’t forgotten.
Debbie knows his voice and is always willing to play a song he asks for, mostly because the famous DJ knows the story behind his frequent calls. Kurt starts out requesting songs he knows Blaine likes, then ones they sang together, and eventually just starts picking anything remotely inspiring or caring.
The meetings are held in Columbus. Kurt listens to the other people’s stories, and he feels their pain. The group is where he meets Erin. She’s an older, tall black woman that is still searching for her missing sister. Hope flares in Kurt’s chest when he learns her sister was abducted on the same day that Blaine vanished. They become instant friends. She helps him put together a timeline and he goes with her to Chicago to search for Melinda. Their friendship blossoms. She bakes him cookies, believes him when he insists that Blaine didn’t run off, and talks him into enrolling for fall semester at the local community college.
Erin finds Melinda a year later. She’s been arrested on prostitution and drug charges. Kurt goes with Erin to Miami, draining his savings account once again to pay for their tickets and Melinda’s bail. The girl is about his age and trembles whenever he comes near her. Erin reassures her, slowly shows her Blaine’s picture. Melinda picks up the photograph and considers it for a long time. Eventually, she nods and hands it back to Kurt.
“I know him.” Melinda confesses, biting her lip as tears run down her cheeks. “They mostly took girls. Young ones---ones that wouldn’t be missed right away ‘cause their parents worked or neglected them or something. But sometimes they took boys. I think he was in the third--maybe it was the fourth--house they took me to.”
“Do you know what happened to him?” Kurt pleads, wild elation filling his soul. “Do you think he’s still in Florida?”
“No.” Melinda shakes her head, leaning tiredly against her older sister. “I can’t remember. They drugged us. A lot.”
4.
Every afternoon, Kurt walks into the Purple Bean and buys two coffees. Blaine isn’t there to consume it anymore. Kurt doesn’t care. It’s a reminder that he’s still alive and out there somewhere. The barista knows him well, shoves free biscotti and cookies at him, and saves a table near the back for one human and one coffee cup.
Kurt always brings his work with him. Thousands of flyers, newspaper clippings, magazine articles, and correspondence letters are shoved carefully into his bag. Kurt sifts through them each day after school. Blaine is out there somewhere and he’s not going to give up on him.
It’s more than likely that Blaine is in California. Wes had spotted him in Los Angeles and Kurt just knew the story was true. It made sense. Melinda always stops by, happy to help him narrow down the possibilities and assist his search. No one knows that he’s still looking. He wants to move out there, but he doesn’t have the money and his family certainly won’t help pay his way out west.
Kurt rarely speaks to his father anymore, never visits Lima, and avoids Finn. Their relationship had deteriorated during the last few years. Burt had given him an ultimatum after he’d gone down to Florida: give up Blaine or give up the garage. His father had intended to hand it over to Kurt once he finished his two-year degree. There was no choice. Blaine was alive, but alone and probably hurt. Burt, Carol, and Finn had everything they needed. They could get by without him.
So he’d asked Erin if he could stay with her, offering to do chores around the house and cook in exchange for rent. Erin agreed to the deal and insisted Melinda loved him to pieces. During the last year, he’d helped Melinda get her G.E.D., which let her finally graduate high school.
It’s the first week in November when Dave Karofsky walks into the little cafe. The former Titan spots him instantly and slowly approaches, bearing a red rose. Dave asks to sit down. Kurt is leery at first, intent on finding Blaine, but he agrees. The brunette has lost weight and bulked up. His hair is neatly styled, the clothes are designer, and he smells nice.
Dave plays college football for Ohio State and asks him out on a date. Kurt agrees, though he contemplates asking Dave for money the entire night. In the end he doesn’t. Dave kisses him sweetly, politely requesting permission first. Kurt lets him, even though his skin crawls at the sensation. It doesn’t feel right. Dave isn’t Blaine.
In the end, he figures it’s the least he can do. It makes him feel closer to Blaine. How many times had he been forced to do things he didn’t want to? Kurt thinks about Melinda, how she’s been slowly telling him what had happened to her. Dave keeps asking him out and Kurt agrees every time. It’s like an addiction.
When Dave proposes to Kurt in front of millions of viewers, thousands of bystanders, and dozens of his teammates at the Sugar Bowl, Kurt says yes. Dave has been drafted to play for the Giants. They’re moving to California. It’s all that really matters in the long run.
5.
Puck calls him one night in June, from a number that registers as private on the caller ID. Kurt picks up every phone call, in the vague hope it’s Blaine. Noah’s been in jail for years at this point.
“I only get one phone call.” Puck states simply, nervousness in his voice. “I won’t--you won’t hear or see from me ever again after tonight, Kurt.”
“Why are you calling me?” Kurt demands. “We haven’t spoken since graduation. Years ago!”
“I know.” Puck breaths heavily, as if he’s out of breath. “But I wanted to ask you something.”
“So ask away.” He replies bitterly. “What do you want?”
“Have you stopped looking, Kurt?” Puck sounds hoarse and guilt ridden. “Have you?”
“No.” Kurt figures he can be honest with Noah, especially if he’s never going to speak to him again. “I’ve never stopped.”
“Even though you’re married.” Puck grunts. “I figured. Listen, I just wanted to tell you something. I’m. I over heard some things here in jail. Blaine’s alive, Kurt.”
Kurt sits up, wondering how he could possibly know this. “What? Do you know where he is?”
“No.” Puck admits, sounding sorry. “I don’t. But I hear you’re in L.A.”
“Yes.” Kurt pleads unashamedly. “Please, tell me what you know.”
“I don’t know anything else.” Puck insists. “All I know is that you shouldn’t give up on him.”
The line goes silent, indicating Puck has hung up. Kurt drops the phone into the sink and slides down to the floor. Noah Puckerman, convicted felon, had seen Blaine. He cries in relief, grateful that the man he loved was definitely still breathing. All he had to do was find him.
1.
The smell of antiseptic follows Kurt all the way to the third floor, but he doesn’t even register it. All he can think of is Blaine, who is waiting for him down the hall. A police officer stands guard outside and waves him in. Santana Lopez is standing beside Blaine’s bed. She ushers him in, glitter and makeup smeared all across her dark face. He greets her briefly and breezes right past.
“Blaine.” The shivering, terrified boy turns over and stares disbelievingly at him.
“Kurt.” Blaine reaches out for his hands, clutching the hem of his shirt. “Is this real?”
“Yes.” Kurt whispers, crawling into the narrow hospital bed without hesitation. “Yes.”
“I heard you once.” Blaine confesses, gazing deeply into his eyes. “On the radio. You asked Debbie to play Candles.”
“Why didn’t you call?” Kurt breathes steadily against Blaine’s neck, noticing how thin the young man had become. “Why?”
“I couldn’t.” Blaine croaked out. “He said he’d kill me if I did.”
“Who?” Kurt presses a soft, loving kiss on Blaine’s forehead. “Who did this to you?”
“My father.” Blaine chokes out, sobbing into his chest. “He gave me to them so he could pay off his debts.”
Comments
AHHH! Oh my god oh my god oh my GOD!!! Holy SHIT! Wow. This is fantastic so far. Not the events, but the writing. Just a quick question - I'm kind of confused. Did Kurt and Dave know each other before? Or are you making it so that they just met each other for the first time? They never went to McKinley, Dave never bullied him?