Chapter 7

Kurt entered his apartment half walking, half skipping. He started to call Rachel's name but the girl, as he figured, wasn't home yet. Smiling, he made himself some coffee and called his dad to tell him the news.

After his dad congratulated him and caught him up on how things were going back in Ohio, Kurt took his coffee and went to lie on the couch.

He turned the TV on, flipping through the channels and setting for a Meg Ryan movie he had already seen a million times, and texted Blaine.

To: Blaine

Remember how I met Now's editor in chief back at the party? Guess who is their new intern...

His phone buzzed almost immediately, which was weird considering Blaine was probably filming.

From: Blaine

That's great, Kurt! Congrats! I guess now you can say you got something out of that party. ;)

To: Blaine

Ha. Because, of course, I completely regretted going until now.

From: Blaine

I knew it. Are you happy? You're so beautiful when you're happy. Your eyes turn the best shade of blue.

Yeah, Blaine could make him blush through texts. He felt like such a teen.

To: Blaine

I really am. Thank you. What's the best shade of blue?

He wanted to say so much more. But he didn't have Blaine's way with words; he didn't know how to say it. He only hoped Blaine could tell he really meant it. He wasn't so happy just because of the job.

From: Blaine

Deep ocean blue, of course.

To: Blaine

Right, of course. Are you on a break? I could call...

Kurt asked, mostly, because he was better conveying his reaction through his voice than through text.

From: Blaine

I hate to ruin the moment but I actually really have to go. I'll be on Letterman tonight, about to go filming!

To: Blaine

It´s fine. Have fun! Talk to you later.

That had been it. Very them, actually. A glimpse of so much more but still unsure, unsaid. Kurt knew he was holding back, but that was who he was. These things didn't come naturally to him. And Blaine, he had moments. Sometimes he would be almost too much, but then he would shut himself up. Not warning, not explanation. And that always left Kurt confused, trying to figure out what had happened.

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Rachel got home only twenty minutes later, entering the living room talking incessantly about Sheila, a girl at her last class that was known for being her biggest rival besides Jenny. But neither of them liked Sheila even a little bit. She had been the reason for a lot of drama the last three and a half years. Kurt was convinced those girls had needed all the drama through college as he had needed coffee. They craved for it.

Kurt let Rachel rant for a while, giving her all the ohs and uhs and eye rolls she was clearly looking for. When she made a little break to breath, Kurt saw a chance and said, "I do have news too, you know".

Rachel just raised an eyebrow, as challenging him to have something to say that was more interesting that her never ending story about egos, twisted morals and an awful lot of solos.

Kurt sighed, knowing that was as much interest as he was going to get until he actually showed her his news were really good. "I got the internship at Now", he said smiling.

"Oh my God, Kurt. That's amazing," She said, genuinely happy for him. "See, you so had to go to that party."

He gave her an exasperated look.

"I'm so happy for you, Kurt. I'm gonna hug you, ok?" The girl said getting closer to him and engulfing him in a quick hug. "We need to celebrate. I'll go order the pizza and see if we have ice cream and wine." She added next, excited, leaving to the kitchen.

Kurt had sort of been expecting the last part, they had a little tradition. They were both quite healthy freaks, Rachel being vegan and he being, well, him. But they always allowed themselves some junk food whenever one of them had something to celebrate or was particularly down. Rachel's food was still pretty healthy because it was still vegan, but she would always get a little tipsy by the end of the night. He, on the other hand, went in all the way, sometimes to the point of including pepperoni between his toppings. He wasn't feeling that bold that night, he got hawaiian.

The pizza got there half an hour later definitely putting an end to that Sheila's story that had, somehow, made a comeback. They decided to just let themselves be and eat at the couch. When they were finished with the pizza, still working with the bottle of wine (mostly because Kurt just wasn't in the mood for being hangover for his early sewing class the next morning and was subtly letting Rachel do most of the job at it), Rachel turned the TV on.

She was absently flipping through the channels when they got a glimpse of shinny black hair and she squealed. "Blaine's on David Letterman!" She almost shouted, bouncing like a little girl. Kurt had completely forgotten he had been filming earlier.

He couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. "It's ok, sweetie." He joked, petting her.

The girl stopped, adjusting her hair behind her ears and saying, "As if you don't find that completely surreal. You don't fool me, Hummel."

"Ok, ok. It's pretty cool, I'll give you that." He conceded, turning to the television, signalling the conversation was over and they were going to watch the interview.

Blaine's interview had just started and they were talking about the movie he was working on. He talked about working with the director, who he really admired, and told a hilarious story of bonding with his co-star through cranberry pancakes that Kurt had, actually, already heard. Kurt was glad to see that Blaine looked very comfortable. He sounded relaxed and moved his hands when he talked, which told Kurt he was just being himself.

When they ran out of jokes around the pancakes story the questions got a little more personal, about what was going on in Blaine's life. Kurt realised Blaine had mastered the skill of sounding interesting without telling anything even slightly personal. But then Letterman asked directly, "So, are we dating someone?"

Kurt knew he was not supposed to expect something from the answer. They were not even official and Blaine was not even remotely near being out. Being sensible about the issue was a necessity and probably the best for them would be if Blaine somehow, anyhow, bought them some extra time. However, he couldn't help but hold his breath waiting for the answer.

"Mm... I'm working on it." Was what Blaine nervously answered.

Wow... That was not what Kurt was expecting. It felt fucking amazing, but that was definitely going to come back hunting them. What was Blaine doing, anyway? What the hell went on in that guy's head? What would make him think he was going to be able to deal with what his answer was implying for the near future? Or did he already have an idea for later that Kurt was completely unaware of?

Again, they weren't even official, if it really was in Blaine's intentions to be. Kurt's mind was a mess.

Letterman was speaking and he made an effort to pay attention to the screen.

"Oh, come on. You really want us to think you've to work for it at all?"

"Of course I do. Who doesn't?" Blaine laughed adorably, directing the question to the audience. They laughed with him. "It's even worse for me because I'm horribly prone to try and play way out of my league."

Kurt had no idea how to feel now. He was, without a doubt, flattered, even if Blaine's statement didn't make any sense to him. But his head was, also, very messed up.

"Are to trying to snatch a married woman, kid?"

Blaine laughed again, shifting in his chair. "No! God, no. Nothing like that."

"Well, come on. Give us something."

"I think I've already told you too much."

The older man actually let it go then and, somewhere in the back of his mind, Kurt was thankful for that. What was left of the interview was, for Kurt at least, uneventful. When it ended, he stood there, watching absently. He realised Blaine and him would have to have a conversation sooner than later. That made him feel a knot tying in his stomach.

Rachel had turned the TV off and waited for a few minutes, giving him some time to order his thoughts.

"Wanna talk about it?" She eventually asked, when the silence had gotten the best of her.

"I don't have much to say. I'm quite confused myself." He told her.

"What do you mean?" Rachel turned to face him.

"I... We're, we're fine, I guess. We just... don't talk about these things. I've no idea where he's going with this because he doesn't tell me these things. And I guess I don't really ask, but then he does that and..." He pointed towards the TV and continued, looking at Rachel. "We're not even boyfriends, Rach. What am I supposed to think of all of this?" He sighed, curling into himself in the couch.

Rachel was listening with concentration. Then she asked, "Kurt, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," he answered without interest.

"Has Blaine dated any other guy in the last three years?"

The question took Kurt by surprise, he couldn't see where the girl was going with that but he told her what he knew. "I don't really know. But I don't think so. I know he dated a guy back in high school, but I'm pretty sure that's it."

"Back in private, not-bulling policy, preppy school."

"Back in preppy school, yeah. What does that have to do with anything?"

"I just think you take too much for granted that Blaine knows how to do this. Even if he has dated a couple of girls since he's famous, it doesn't mean he knows how to go about this." Kurt just looked at her, trying to wrap his head around what she was implying.

The girl saw in his eyes how confused he still was and elaborated further. "Think how it would be for Blaine if you guys got caught by the media. Even if he knows how to hide and he seems to be doing it quite well, there's still a chance of that happening. If he gets caught with a girl, at the most, it ruins the relationship. If he gets caught with you, hon, for the media that would mean he's gay. That would mean he has been lying to everyone for three years, blatantly lying ‘cause he has introduced a girlfriend to everyone before." Rachel put her hand on Kurt's knee and looked at him right in the eye, "It may kill his career. That or he's forced to come out as bi, which may kill it anyway, as much as I want to think otherwise."

 Kurt gaped, looking at Rachel as if the girl had suddenly grown a second head. It hit him all at once for how long he had been seeing things too much from his point of view and how little he had tried to considered the bigger scenery of what was going on in Blaine's head. He had put himself in his place, yes. But always just trying to see how he felt about him, what was he trying to say to him, what things meant for them as a couple. Not thinking what it all meant for Blaine's career, for his own journey regarding his sexuality, for him as a person and not just as a romantic possibility for Kurt.

"I feel like such an idiot" he said, mouth still slightly open. Not elaborating because it was Rachel he was talking to, she knew him enough to fill the gap.

"It's ok, hun. I don't think he expects you to get half of this, he probably thinks it's his problem to handle. He's too nice; he would just try and make it work by his own. Now you actually get a chance to fix that." She comforted him.

Kurt considered what the girl had said, letting a tiny smile try and form itself in his lips. He still could take the matter in his own hands and make sure Blaine knew he could count on him.

"You're awfully smart when you're not just thinking about yourself, you knew that?" He asked the girl, now smiling widely.

"Not even after I force you into an epiphany you can just give me a full compliment."

"We both know you'll let it go too much to your head if I don't cut some of the sugar off," he said, trying not to laugh. She smiled shyly. "Come here." Kurt opened his arms, letting the girl slip between them and hugging her to his chest.