AN: Finally got the internet in my apartment to work again :)

Chapter 25: It gets better - Part 2

Kurt

"And how do you feel about that?" Dr. Stine asked after Kurt relayed what Mrs. Hoffs had told him. Kurt shrugged. "Angry, sad, disappointed? I'm not sure. Mostly I'm just not surprised she didn't even try to get better. My dad at least admitted he had done something wrong, but my mother couldn't even try to get out of jail early? It just tells me that she really doesn't care about me, and that I shouldn't pay any attention to the things she used to say to me, because they weren't said because she thought they were for my own good. All she wanted is bring me down and make my life as miserable as hers."

Dr. Stine nodded and wrote something down in her notebook. "You've come far since we met," she told him once she was done writing and Kurt gave her a small smile. Since before prom they had reduced his sessions to twice a month and he was starting to feel confident he wouldn't need to see his therapist much longer.

"And I'm glad you decided to stay with the Hummels. They are good for you," she continued and Kurt nodded enthusiastically. He knew he wouldn't be where he was at the moment if it hadn't been for Burt and Blaine.

"That's actually something I'd like to talk about," Kurt replied after getting his thoughts in order. "You haven't changed your mind, have you? I'm not saying it's impossible but I wouldn't advise you to strike out on your own while you are still in school. You should focus on that if you want get into the colleges we talked about."

Kurt shook his head. "No, uh. It's about Blaine." He felt his cheeks heat up before he even started talking about what he wanted to discuss. "Go on."

"Well, there are certain rules for Blaine and I and so far I was relieved we have them because I wasn't ready to do anything with Blaine and it was a good excuse to not do stuff," he rushed out hoping the therapist got his drift.

"First, Kurt, you always have the right to say no if you are not comfortable with something and if your partner makes you feel bad about that then I would suggest you reevaluate the relationship." "Blaine's not pressuring me," he quickly assured her. "But I was still glad we had them because I knew he wouldn't try anything because he knew I didn't want to break his dad's trust."

"Good. We all move at our own pace and even if your partner seems to be ready before you are, he has to respect you aren't. But let's talk about the other thing you said. You said you were glad those rules are in place so far. Does that mean things have changed?"

Kurt picked at his nails. The problem was he wasn't sure himself. He knew Blaine wanted to do more than just make out and at least his body wanted to as well. But the thought of taking his clothes off in front of Blaine still made his skin crawl and he hated that. He wanted to move forward, give in to his desire but something was still holding him back.

"I think I'm ready to more with him but at the same time I can't bring myself to do it, if that makes sense. I know he doesn't see me the way I think about myself and that he would never intentionally hurt him. I trust him, but something is holding me back."

"Well, I'd say there is a difference between being nervous about something and the feelings you described. And if you force yourself to get past that I don't think either of you will be happy. I'd advise you to trust your gut in this. When the time is right, you'll know. Probably when the thought doesn't make your skin crawl but makes you excited and nervous at the same time."

Kurt nodded. It was what he had been thinking himself but it was good to hear it from someone outside of the relationship. But some days he just hated his stupid hiccups, his insecurities thanks to his mother.

He wanted to be a normal teenager for once. A normal hormonal eighteen year old who couldn't wait to get in his boyfriend's pants. Who took his t-shirt off when he went swimming like a normal person, someone who didn't believe a hateful woman when she called him fat even though he had been just skin and bones.

He and Blaine would spend four weeks together in California this summer and he wanted to do all the things other teenagers did when they got away from their parents. The problem was just that he still didn't know how to get there. And he knew he would have to take the lead because Blaine was way too scared to come off as pushy if he were the one who made the first move.

"So you are saying I shouldn't force the issue and let things happen organically?" Dr. Stine nodded. "Like I said you made so much progress during these past five months. This is just another thing you'll have to figure out. And if you haven't yet, talk to your boyfriend about how you are feeling about all that. It will probably help if you are both on the same page."

Fortunately, talking was something they were good at – at least since they had gotten together. They had learned from past mistakes, when not telling one another the truth had hurt them both more than just biting the bullet and being honest about their feelings.

"And speaking of talking," Dr. Stine continued. "You told me you were going to California for two months this summer. What we can do is I can set you up with someone out west or will see how you're doing without talking to me – as long as you promise to call the second you feel there are things you aren't equipped to handle on your own. We'll regroup in the fall and see if you still need to see me on a regular basis or if we can agree on a just when you need me basis."

He didn't really want to air his dirty laundry with another complete stranger, so he told her he would be fine on his own. He knew Cooper would probably be not much help if he needed it, but his brother had shared experiences and maybe it would be good for them to talk about certain things in their past.

"Alright then. I hope you have a good time with your brother and don't hesitate to call if you have any problems," Dr. Stine reminded him again and Kurt drew the short woman into a brief hug.

Burt was waiting outside for him, having driven him because Kurt's car was in the shop for a check up.

"She refer you to someone in L.A.?" he asked when Kurt joined him and Kurt shook his head. "She thinks I can do it on my own for the two months and will see if I still need her when I get back."

Burt nodded. "Good. But if you still need her when you get back, I want you to keep seeing her. I know you worry about the money, but I rather see you healthy and happy then save some money and have to worry about you."

Kurt cursed the fact that he was a crier. Everything seemed to set him off nowadays. Burt just hugged him though before he changed the subject.

"Let's go. I still need to get bait for our trip. I don't suppose you changed your mind about joining me."

Kurt shuddered. After Blaine had told him horror stories about a fishing trip with his dad when he had been younger – something about the poor worms he had stuffed under his shirt to save them from his dad – fishing was the last thing he wanted to give a try.

"Maybe Finn will like to come," he suggested, not completely selflessly. If Finn went fishing with Burt, he wouldn't hang around him and Blaine.

"Good idea. That boy needs some male role models in his life. I know Carole did the best she could but growing up without a dad seems to have messed him up a bit as well."

In that respect, he, Blaine and Finn had more in common then he had originally thought. Both Finn and Blaine had spent most of their lives with only one parent, and though Kurt had had two, he had never had a 'proper' family either.

Until now. So he would do his best to ensure the camping trip was a success. Because he wasn't the only one who deserved a chance at a family.

Burt

They were at a rest stop half way to their destination when Burt decided to have a little talk with Finn. Carole and his boys had gone inside to pick out some healthy snacks for the rest of the drive and he knew it might be his last opportunity to have a private chat with his girlfriend's son.

"I'm glad you and your mom could join us for this trip," he started, trying to put the tall teenager at ease who looked nervous now that they were alone.

"So you don't hate me anymore for being mean to Kurt and Blaine?" Finn asked looking more like a little boy then a tall seventeen year old.

Burt shook his head. "Look Finn, I get it. I was on the team in high school as well and I definitely wasn't always as open about things as I am now. But I love my son more than anything in the world and will always do my best to see him happy. And if being with another boy makes him happy, then why should I care. Kurt and Blaine, they are both good kids and I want you to give them a chance. Get to know them and make up your own mind.

Finn seemed to contemplate what he was saying for a moment before he nodded. "I was just jealous of Blaine when he transferred because he seemed so much better at everything than I was and people listened to him and liked him for himself even though they knew he was gay. It didn't seem fair that he had it so easy," Finn mumbled and Burt looked at him in surprise.

After all his son had been through in public school, he was surprised to hear someone describe him like that.

"What about Kurt then? What did he ever do to you?" Finn dug his toe into the ground and fidgeted.

"Honestly, I didn't care about him one way or another. He was always a little weird, kept to himself and I didn't even notice him until Karofsky pointed him out to me in middle school. I wasn't really popular back then either, but Karofsky promised that if I stuck with him he would get me some pull. I couldn't really go against him at McKinley when he was the one who helped me become popular. I know you may think that's silly, but in high school popularity is everything."

Didn't he know. He had been a huge jerk, thinking he was better than the other students because he played football, until he had met Blaine's mom. It had stung when she had told him she would never date someone like him, and had ultimately made him change his ways. He might have lost some of his popularity when he stopped pushing people around his senior year but he had been much happier than before.

"High school is going to end eventually, Finn, and once you graduate no one is going to care that you were once the high school quarterback. People are going to look down on you because bullies are so not cool in the real world."

Finn looked like he wanted to protest but Burt soldiered on. "Look, Finn. I don't expect you to start PFLAG or something like that at school. All I'm asking you is that you do the right thing come fall. Use your position to help people rather than hurt them."

Whatever Finn wanted to say, he cut off mid-word as Carole and his boys returned from the gas station shop. "There weren't a lot of healthy options but we got some fruit, Carole announced before she hopped into the backseat she shared with Kurt and Blaine.

They had both agreed not to force the boys to be close because they didn't want either of them to be uncomfortable and so he had offered Finn the passenger seat under the guise of him being too tall for the backseat.

Fortunately the rest of the drive went by without any incidents and Burt had to suppress a smile when halfway through all three boys started to sing along with the songs playing on the radio. Personally, he would have preferred listening to a country station but he was happy to hear the boys had at least something they were all passionate about.

The cabin was in the eastern part of the park, a few miles away from the camping ground he and Blaine had always stayed at in the park, but it looked comfortable and spacious enough to house all five of them.

Finn and Blaine both took the top bunks while Kurt sat down on the one underneath Blaine. "Alright guys. We won't give you a curfew while we are here, but I expect each of you to sleep in their own beds each night, understood?" he told them before helping Carole unpack in their room. Finn looked relieved at his announcement while his son was just rolling his eyes, muttering something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'having Hudson in the room would kill the mood immediately anyway.' Good, Burt thought, smirking. At least with Finn around the boys would behave themselves not that they had ever given him any reason not to trust them but he knew how it was. Something always happened at summer camp.

He and Carole decided to go for a walk while the boys were unpacking, showing her around the park as she had never been before. The picked up some fresh fish for dinner and Burt couldn't wait to go fishing himself. "You think Finn might want to join me for my fishing trip?" he asked his girlfriend as they left the small convenience store hand in hand like some damn teenagers.

"I think his down with pretty much everything. Not having his dad when he grew up, he always latched on to the guys I've been dating if he got to meet them. So yeah, I think it would make him happy if you took him with you."

The cabin was empty when they returned, a post it stuck to the door telling them that the boys had gone down to the lake, and Burt quickly gutted the fish while Carole chopped some vegetable. Once everything was in the oven, they settled on the couch, and before he knew it they were actually making out on the couch. Apparently being with Carole was turning him into a teenager but he couldn't give a damn at the moment.

That was until he heard a gasp behind him and slowly looked up. Kurt was looking everywhere but at them while Finn and Blaine both made a face. "Dad," his son whined while Finn muttered something that sounded like 'gross, mom'. He quickly got off the couch and covered Carole who was smoothing her skirt down before pulling her with him into the kitchen.

"Dinner is ready in ten," he called over his shoulder and he and Carole started giggling as soon as the door closed behind them. "Well, you wanted them to bond over things they had in common," Carole sniggered. "Yeah, but I wasn't thinking about that. If I had they would have started getting along a while ago," Burt replied, still laughing himself.

Dinner was a bit awkward because neither of the boys would look at him or Carole but he didn't mind because he could see the looks they shared between one another. If 'traumatizing' his son and his girlfriend's son got them talking and bonding maybe they should do it more often. After all, it wasn't like it was a chore.

Blaine

It was the summer before he was supposed to start high school, shortly before his dad made the announcement for Dalton, when Blaine had discovered a tiny beach that no one else ever visited. He hadn't felt safe around the other teenagers, keeping to himself mostly when he wasn't with his dad and one day he had wandered into the strip of wood behind the camping ground, desperate to get away from everyone else. He had stumbled over a root and when he had lifted his head, he had discovered the tiny beach hidden from prying eyes by the rock formation further west. It had become his safe haven, his spot where he could think, or just let his body float in the water, without other people's eyes on him. Not even his dad new about the spot but he couldn't wait to show it to Kurt.

Getting rid of Finn was surprisingly easy. All he had to do was mention that the beach volleyball areas were always frequented by 'hot' girls and Finn had taken off, forgetting completely that he was supposed to hang out with him and Kurt while their parents did their own thing.

He and Kurt had gotten along with Finn surprisingly well the past two days after bemoaning their loss of innocence after walking in on his dad and Carole on the couch. To avoid another incident like that, they had left soon after dinner and had spent the night around a bonfire with other kids their age. He hadn't let go of Kurt's hand – not even when some asshole jock had sneered at them – and they had ended up singing songs around the fire, while he and Finn shared a beer.

The next day was spent with the family. They had taken a boat out on the lake and while he and Finn kept jumping in, Kurt and Carole had sat down under an umbrella to stay out of the sun. Their had been a few moments of tense silence when Finn had asked Kurt if the reason he wasn't swimming with them was because he couldn't swim, but luckily Kurt's lecture about skin cancer had driven Finn right back into the water before Finn could make his boyfriend more uncomfortable.

He wished there was something more he could do to help Kurt with his insecurities but he didn't want to push. So he didn't say anything when later that afternoon, Kurt waddled into the water, dark grey t-shirt still covering his lovely pale skin. It was a bit embarrassing what kind of effect Kurt had on him with his wet t-shirt clinging to his body, so maybe it was for the best that Kurt never took his shirt off. He would probably immediately combust on the spot.

So maybe it wasn't the best idea to take Kurt to a secluded spot, when he had trouble behaving around him lately. The last thing he'd ever want was to be the guy that pushed, that couldn't wait for his boyfriend to be ready. Fortunately, the cold lake wasn't that far away any more and he ripped his shirt off and jumped in as soon as he dropped his bag on the tiny beach.

Kurt shot him a confused look but luckily didn't comment on his strange behavior as he sat up a blanket and put their picnic basket down next to it while Blaine dove under water, letting the cold to its job.

When he broke through the surface again, Kurt was staring out to him, a look on his face Blaine couldn't interpret. It was a mixture of fear and fierce determination and when he saw his boyfriend fiddle with the hem of his t-shirt, he understood what Kurt was thinking about doing.

He turned away from the beach and looked out on the lake to give Kurt his privacy, to let him come to his own decision without Blaine staring at him. Even when he heard a body step into the water behind him, he didn't turn. Waited patiently.

Only when a cool hand touches his arm, did he turn slowly. Only Kurt's head was poking out of the water, but while the rest of his body was submerged under the water, he could tell Kurt had decided to risk skin cancer so to speak. Blaine gave his boyfriend an encouraging smile, before he swam further out into the lake, Kurt steadily by his side. The didn't talk, just enjoyed each other's company, and Blaine was glad to see Kurt gradually relax the longer they stayed in the water.

Once Kurt's lips turned blue and he started to shiver, he knew it was time to get out though. "You wanna get out first? I can wait," he asked but Kurt gave him a nervous smile and shook his head. "Don't be silly. You look like you're about to turn into an icicle yourself." Blaine giggled when he imagined what they would look like frozen over, and before he knew it, his feet were touching the ground once more and he stepped out of the lake, Kurt by his side.

Kurt's pale skin looked beautiful in the noon sun light, finally unmarred by bruises, and Blaine wanted nothing more than reach out and touch, but he kept his hands to himself, needing Kurt to know he could trust him with this and that he wouldn't abuse Kurt's trust.

He held out a towel for Kurt, who accepted it with a grateful smile and Blaine turned a bit to avoid shamelessly ogling Kurt while he patted himself dry.

From the corner of his eye he could see Kurt eye his t-shirt, but after a moment of hesitation he sat down next to Blaine on the blanket, the picnic basket serving as buffer between them.

"Just so you know. You have nothing to worry about – I think you are beautiful," Blaine finally allowed himself to whisper and he put as much love into it as possible. Kurt had wrapped his arms around himself after he had sat down, but was slowly letting go now, vulnerability showing in his every movement.

"You do?" he asked quietly and Blaine nodded enthusiastically because he'd rather his boyfriend thought he was a horny perv than that he wasn't attractive.

There was a small smile on Kurt's face, an almost bashful smile and Blaine smiled back fondly until Kurt ducked his head and busied himself with the contents of the basket, carefully arranging sandwiches on the blanket.

Once they were done with eating, they lay down next to each other, sharing Blaine's head phones to listen to some music until Kurt abruptly sat up and froze.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked, blinking against the sun. "I can't believe I forgot to put on sunscreen," Kurt replied frantically, already looking all over himself to check for damage.

"Relax, you haven't burned yet and you know I think your freckles are adorable," Blaine assured him before picking up the sunscreen with the highest SPF known to men.

"Turn around," he instructed his boyfriend, and after regarding his hand warily for a moment, Kurt complied.

Not too much time had passed since they had visited Cooper in L.A, but he could feel how Kurt's body had changed yet again. He had grown several inches since the start of the school year, making him taller than Blaine now, and he was continuously getting stronger, thanks to dance rehearsals in Glee and working out in his dad's shop.

He applied the sunscreen as reverently as possible, letting his hands ghost over Kurt's lovely shoulders maybe a bit longer than necessary, but Kurt after tensing initially, relaxed into the touch, encouraging him to keep stroking his back lightly.

Only when he had covered Kurt's back and arms twice did he let go, because as nice as it was getting to touch Kurt like this, he didn't want him to think he was taking advantage of the situation.

But Kurt always zigged when he thought he was about to zag, and he suddenly found himself on his back on the blanket with Kurt halfway on top of him pressing their chests together.

Kurt's chest was smooth, the way his only was after waxing, and he smiled up at his boyfriend dopily. He could still feel his rips through his skin, but they weren't sticking out anymore like they had only a few months back and when Kurt bent down to kiss him, he shoved all other thoughts to the back of his mind, and lost himself in Kurt's touches, shivering when pale fingers tentatively trailed up and down his arms.

It was better than any fantasy he had ever entertained about their future – usually just making him feel guilty for using his boyfriend as wank material – because he could feel the love radiating off of Kurt. His touches were more tentative than fantasy Kurt's but knowing that Kurt had never touched anyone like this before, knowing that this was something they both hadn't shared with anyone else, made his heartbeat speed up and stutter at the same time.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed, how long they spent just kissing each other lazily without any ultimate goal or agenda, but he still groaned when his phone started to ring next to him on the blanket.

"Dudes where are you? I'm bored – all the hot girls were gone when I got back from lunch," Finn whined and Blaine sighed as Kurt rolled off of him, massaging his side where the stones had dug into his flesh.

"Meet us at the cabin in fifteen," he replied because he knew his dad expected him and Kurt to actually spend time with Finn while they were on a trip and he didn't want his dad to question their whereabouts if Finn spilled they hadn't been with him. He had had enough embarrassing conversations with his dad to last a life time.

They both quickly packed up their picnic and Blaine pouted when Kurt pulled his shirt back on. The afternoon sun was burning down on them, so he left off his own as he and Kurt wandered through the woods back to their cabin. Finn was already waiting for them, bouncing a soccer ball, but his eyes widened when he and Kurt approached.

"Woah, dude. Did you, like, try to eat him?" Finn asked gaping at Kurt and his boyfriend slowly turns to face him, a puzzled look on his face. Blaine wanted to say something, but he couldn't help but stare at the huge ass hickey he had left on Kurt's left side, much more prominent now that they were out of the shadows. He cursed himself for forgetting how easily Kurt's skin bruised, because he had not planned to give him that.

Kurt clapped his hand over the spot Blaine was staring at and blushed furiously, but Blaine only had eyes for Finn. The giant didn't look disgusted, more shocked and impressed?

"I'll go and get a scarf," Kurt sighed, leaving him and Finn alone. "You don't do it with me in the room, right? It's not a gay thing, I swear – I just don't want to overhear you doing it," Finn mumbled as soon as Kurt had entered the cabin, his eyes on the floor.

Blaine felt his cheeks flush as well. "We are not doing it, so you don't have to worry," he hissed, hoping they wouldn't be overheard. Finn furrowed his brows. "Really? But you've been dating forever."

Blaine shook his head. Sometimes he forgot that Finn and most of the other jocks he wasn't friends with assumed he and Kurt had been an item much longer than they actually were. Unsurprisingly, Finn looked surprised when he explained they had only been together five months and were in no rush to 'do it'. Well, Kurt wasn't but that was none of Finn's business.

"Wow, and I thought gay dudes did it like all the time. I mean, I would if I were into dudes. No pregnancy scares and the other person is always up for it too. And you wouldn't have to deal with girls constantly saying no and not even letting you touch their boobs over the clothes."

Blaine couldn't do anything but stare at Finn as the teenager rambled on. Was that really what Finn thought? No wonder his relationships never lasted long. Maybe he should ask his dad to give Finn a talk as well.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked when he came back outside, a light summer scarf wrapped around his neck. "Soccer," Blaine replied, his eyes fixed on Finn, because he didn't want Finn to repeat his believes in front of Kurt. The last thing he needed was Kurt being put under pressure from someone not even part of the relationship.

Taking Kurt's hand into his own, they trailed after Finn as he led them down the path to one of the more popular beaches, wondering what the world had come to if Finn Hudson of all people thought he wasn't having enough sex with his boyfriend.

Kurt

Kurt's heart was pounding as he stood on the water's edge, watching his boyfriend dive under, his gorgeous body disappearing underneath the water. He tried to remember every compliment Blaine had ever given him, the way he had reacted when Kurt had only worn a tank top in California. Blaine found him attractive and had promised that wouldn't change for anything.

Taking a deep breath he squared his shoulders and slowly lifted his shirt over his head. Blaine's back was turned and Kurt hurried into the cool water and swam over to him, trying to ignore how naked and exposed he felt.

To his relief, Blaine didn't comment – didn't ask why or why now – just swam further out with Kurt slowly following behind him. They stayed in the water until Kurt was shivering from the cold and when Blaine asked if he wanted to go first, one look at Blaine told him that Blaine needed to get out of the water ASAP as well. He ignored his nerves, the voices in his head reminding him that he would put himself on display for Blaine, that he wasn't good enough for Blaine, and stalked back to their blanket, Blaine trailing after him.

The next minutes past in a blur, and even later on, he still had no idea what had gotten into him. One moment he and Blaine were listening to music on Blaine's iPod and the next he was pressing his boyfriend into the blanket, stones probably digging into his skin through the blanket uncomfortably, after said boyfriend had massaged sunscreen into his back.

And it didn't make his skin crawl, made him tingle all over instead – to feel Blaine's skin on his own. He couldn't resist pressing closer, reveling in the slide of skin against skin as Blaine moved to kiss down his neck, down his jaw until he hit his collarbone. And Kurt just let him, not thinking about the bad stuff for once – letting go – freeing himself. It was his raised middle finger to everyone who had ever told him that wanting that was wrong, that no one would ever love him, that he was a waste of space. It was his 'go fuck yourselves' to all those who had tried to bring him down.

In that moment he felt invincible, he wasn't that scared little boy anymore, done with being a victim, ready to be a surviver. He surrendered to his feelings and relaxed in Blaine's hold.

He had no idea how much time had passed when Finn called Blaine, but he knew that it was probably a good idea to go meet him, if he wanted to avoid doing something inappropriate for a public setting. He wasn't there yet, but getting closer, less afraid now, more sure that Blaine would take care of him.

Later that night, after Carole had covered his neck with cover up so Burt didn't see his hickey, they all sat down together for dinner, outside on the front porch.

They weren't biologically related but somehow it all felt like family – the kind that supported you and tried their best around you even if they disagreed with you. It was more than he ever thought he would have – but somehow the universe must have decided that Kurt Anderson deserved a break, deserved to be happy, deserved living not just surviving.

There was still his senior year to get through, but he was certain – with his new family by his side, he could handle everything thrown at him.

An: I'll try and have the first part of the epilogue up this weekend :) Happy New Year everyone!