Warnings for this chapter: Homophobic language, violence, child abuse

Chapter 1: Now and Then

Kurt

The day after Blaine moved to Columbus, Kurt's parents both got cell phones and disconnected their landline – leaving Kurt with no way of calling Blaine, because he wasn't allowed to touch their phones. His mom had said that unless he could pay for his phone calls he wasn't allowed to use the phone anymore, but he at least could still write letters to Blaine because his neighbor always gave him a few dollars for mowing her lawn and his mom hadn't found his money stash in the room yet.

For the first two weeks he wrote to Blaine nearly every day and tried to ignore his mom when she told him, Blaine couldn't forget about him fast enough, each time she collected one of his letters. Blaine was probably just busy with moving to a new city and making new friends. He wouldn't forget about Kurt because he had promised it.

Weeks turned into a month however, and after five weeks of no contact with Blaine, Kurt was ready to start believing his mom, when she told him that Blaine probably just found more interesting friends. Kurt spent the rest of the summer before fourth grade hiding out in his room as much as he could, because the mean kids from school were now playing on his street and his dad had lost his job again and was spending all his time at home.

It was a hard learned lesson, but one he apparently needed to learn. It was foolish to put trust in other people because they were just going to disappoint you in the end and leave you broken hearted and alone.

xXx

Whoever had come up with that stupid 'It get's better' slogan, had apparently never met Kurt Anderson, Kurt thought as was scrubbing his skin furiously, trying to get rid of the stench. How was getting pelted by pee balloons at school and punished for ruining his clothes at home afterward it getting better? The only thing that had changed over the years was that Kurt was faster now, having had lots of practice running away from his bullies, and when his dad was drunk enough Kurt stood a good chance of getting away from him before he could get hit.

It had gotten worse over the years, especially after someone had sprayed 'fag' over his locker in seventh grade and the principle had called his mom. He still could remember every hurtful thing she said about him that afternoon when he had come home from school, denying the accusations of course but to no avail.

It must have been when he had stumbled and had hit his head on the coffee table after his dad had shoved him hard, that he must have admitted what made his parents hate him even more but at least it was out in the open afterward and Kurt had thought things couldn't get worse. But he had been wrong. After he had conformed that he was indeed a 'dirty little fag' as his mom had called him, his father had amped up his physical abuse, but what still hurt him the most was his mother's verbal abuse.

He could deal with bruises and sprained wrists and ankles. Broken bones healed over time, but his mom's words were leaving deep scars inside of him.

Finally satisfied with his smell, Kurt turned off the shower and stepped into the tiny bathroom he was allowed to call his own. Under the counter he located the creams he usually put on his bruises, and started dabbing them onto his marred skin. His ribs were aching from when his father's fist had collided with his chest, and he pulled out the rest of his medical supplies and started wrapping them up, hoping nothing was broken this time.

Going to the hospital always sucked because he had to come up with even more lies to explain his injuries, but he was also too afraid to tell someone the truth, because what if they didn't believe him or worse thought his parents were doing the right thing. And he had also heard the horror stories about kids in the system and he didn't want to be like that. He was fourteen already and if he just got through the next four years of school, he would leave Ohio for greener pastures and never see his family again.

He prodded at his ribs a few times until he was sure they weren't broken, before pulling an oversized t-shirt over his head. All his clothes were second hand and if he hadn't develop some sewing skills none of them would fit at all. When Kurt asked for a new pair of shoes or other essentials from time to time, the answer was always the same. They didn't have the money to buy Kurt things he hadn't earned. Lately it had been hard biting his tongue, because it was honestly not his fault his dad couldn't hold down a job and his mom didn't want to work either.

He would have gotten a job himself so he could buy some nicer things, but since his parents had found out he was gay, he had to come home from school straight away each day, so he would get up to doing perverted things, his mom had said. He had no idea what she meant by that, though the slurs he sometimes found decorating his locker had advanced his sexual education a lot, and hated that he was now basically a prisoner in his own home.

He had high hopes for high school, because when kids got older they had to become more mature, right? And maybe he could even convince his parents to let him join a club so he'd have something to do after school.

xXx

Tears were streaming down his face as he hid under the bleachers, waiting for the football team to finish up so he could finally go home. He should have known that fighting back wouldn't make things better, but he couldn't stand Karofsky's abuse anymore and had yelled at him in front of everyone in the hallway.

Karofsky had grabbed him by his jacket and had dragged him into the boy's locker room but instead of beating him up as Kurt had suspected would happen, he had pinned him up against the row of lockers and had pressed his sweaty lips against Kurt's, not letting him go even as Kurt was struggling to get away. Kurt was a good hundred pounds lighter on his heavier days and didn't stand a chance, but the kiss hadn't been the worst thing. The worst thing had been not knowing how far Karofsky had been willing to take it, if the door to the locker room hadn't opened.

The moment Karosfky had released him, he had run out of the locker room, nearly colliding with a boy with a Mohawk and the big boy who had held his school bag once before he was thrown into a dumpster. All he wanted to do was get home, but then he realized that his bag with his house keys and school books must still be in the locker room. He didn't dare go back in there as long as the football team was still at school and so he resigned himself to waiting around until they were done. He'd be in trouble either way – either for 'losing' his bag or for being home late.

Kurt was counting down the days to his high school graduation, but unfortunately it was still three months and fifteen days till the start of his junior year and two more years of high school. He wiped the tears of his eyes as well as he could. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He wasn't broken yet, and he refused to give them the power to do it.

Blaine

Blaine called Kurt's number the moment they arrived at their new house in Columbus, but it was Kurt's mom who picked up the phone and she told him Kurt was too busy right now to talk to him. Blaine didn't understand because Kurt was never too busy to talk to him. He tried again a few more times but nobody was answering the phone and so he threw himself into helping his dad unpack and hang posters in his new room.

It was weird living in a smaller house with just his dad, but Blaine tried to keep smiling for his dad's sake. It got harder though each day that passed without a return letter from Kurt and after five weeks of writing Kurt letters and never hearing back from, he begged his dad to drive him to Lima so he could see Kurt.

When they got there, a car was in the driveway and there was light on in Kurt's room and Blaine practically sprinted to the door and rang it enthusiastically. Kurt's mom opened the door and frowned when she saw him, but Blaine just gave her his biggest smile and asked politely if he could see Kurt.

"Kurt's at a sleep over with his new friends," Kurt's mom told him and Blaine frowned as well. Why was she lying to him? He was sure he had seen light in Kurt's room and five weeks ago, Kurt didn't have any other friends than Blaine. Did Kurt not want to see him anymore? Was that why he never answered any of his letters? He couldn't believe Kurt would do that to him, but he knew lying was bad so he was sure Kurt's mom was only saying what Kurt told her to tell him.

He was crying to whole drive back to Columbus and not even the guitar his dad promised to get him, could get him to stop. Why did everyone in his life decided to leave him?

xXx

Blaine threw himself into music and sports after he and Kurt lost contact. He made new friends at his new school and joined the soccer team once he started middle school because he was too small to play football. It was also around this time that he discovered that girls weren't really that interesting to him and so he befriended Paul Philipps, the only out gay kid in school.

At first no one at school seemed to be bothered by their new friendship and he made it through most of middle school unharmed, probably because the only person he had told he was gay himself was Paul. When Blaine had come out to him, Paul had asked if he wanted to kiss him and Blaine had said yes, but it stayed a one time thing because they worked better as friends.

It all went downhill however when Paul asked if he wanted to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with him and Blaine said yes, because he was sick of always having to turn down girls with some stupid excuse.

That night, he sat on the living room couch waiting for his dad to come home from work, his legs nervously bouncing up and down. He knew he had to tell his dad if he wanted to go to the dance and he just hoped his dad would be okay with it.

"You okay, kiddo?" his dad asked him when he came in and Blaine gave him a shaky nod. "I wanted to ask if I could go to the school dance … with a date," he forced out when his dad kept staring at him. His dad chuckled.

"Sure thing kiddo, what's her name?" Blaine took a deep breath. This was it. He had no idea what he would do if his dad didn't accept him. Maybe he could move in with his aunt if his dad kicked him out. His dad cleared his throat and Blaine realized that he must have been stalling longer than he had thought.

"Paul," he whispered and his dad looked confused for a moment before he sank down in his armchair and just stared at Blaine. Blaine fidgeted nervously waiting for his dad to say something.

"You want to go on a date with Paul?" his dad asked and Blaine gave him a small nod. "That okay with your school?" Blaine nodded again. "There are no rules against it," he whispered.

"Okay then. How are we going to do this? Should I drive you or will Paul's parents?" Blaine blinked. That was it? No yelling or name calling or being called a disappointment like he had seen it happen on TV when kids came out to their parents.

"Maybe," Blaine cleared his throat as it came out as a squeak, "you could drive us and Paul's parents could pick us up after." He dad nodded before he stood up and went to the kitchen to get himself a beer Blaine suspected.

"Are you really okay with this?" Blaine asked when his dad returned and his dad sighed.

"Let's say I didn't really expect that but you are my son and I love you, so we'll figure this thing out together. Ain't nothing I can change if this is who you are."

Blaine's eyes started to water as he threw himself into his dad's arms nearly knocking his beer bottle out of his hand. In this moment, life couldn't be better.

Unfortunately, the students at school didn't want to let him be happy and Blaine ended up in the hospital before the dance was even over. Someone had spiked the punch and when Paul started complaining that he wasn't feeling too well, they called his parents and asked to be picked up earlier.

They decided to wait outside so Paul could get some fresh air and Blaine was so focused on making sure Paul was okay, he didn't even realize that they were being followed until it was too late. The rest of the night was kind of a blur because he hit his head hard when he went down after getting punched in the stomach.

His dad was furious when he found out the school wasn't taking any action because there were no witnesses and it hadn't happened on school grounds and the police didn't do much either for the same reasons. Blaine was afraid to return to school after he had been released from the hospital and he begged his dad to let him stay home and try homeschooling.

He knew it was an unrealistic idea. His dad had his job in the garage and Blaine doubted he was even qualified enough to teach him. Times like this he really wished his mom was still alive, because she would have known what to do.

"I found a school for you in another part of the city you can go to till the end of eight grade. It's in a gay friendly neighborhood so I really hope you'll be fine there," his dad told him a few days later and Blaine felt a weight being lifted of his shoulders. Sure there were people he was going to miss at his old school, but Paul's family had already moved him to another school as well and he wasn't sure his friends still wanted to be his friends now that they knew about him.

The rest of middle school was uneventful but he was lonely. Most kids had known one another since preschool and weren't really interested in getting to know the new guy who had transferred in the middle of eight grade. At least no one was taunting him about his sexuality – he had decided he wouldn't go back into the closet because he was tired of hiding who he was.

The summer before the start of high school brought with it a new set of problems though. Students were required to attend the high school in the area of the city they lived in, so Blaine would be thrown back with the boys who had assaulted him. The only solution would be private schooling, but Blaine still protested at first when his dad took out a loan and enrolled him at Dalton Academy for Boys in Westerville which was luckily close to Columbus because boarding at school would have made it even more expensive.

Blaine flourished at Dalton. He joined the school's a capella group the Warblers and became their lead soloist at the beginning of his sophomore year of high school. At parties, boys would come up to flirt with him and Blaine ended up kissing more than a few, but it never went further than kissing.

A year after he had come out his dad had sat him down with a bunch of pamphlets he had picked up at the free clinic and Blaine had listened to what his dad had said. He knew he was worth more than a meaningless hook up at parties. He hadn't found a boy yet he had really connected with and so he stayed away from dating for the time being. He was still young and had time, and most guys understood.

Unfortunately there were also some boys who kept hitting on him even after he had told them no, and Blaine was certainly glad when the worst of them – Sebastian Smythe – moved to Paris with his parents at the beginning of their sophomore year.

His sophomore year was going really well until his dad had a heart attack shortly after Christmas and fell into a coma for a few days. Sitting next to his dad's hospital bed reminded him of his first and only best friend and how much he had relied on him when his mom had been sick. Some days he wondered what Kurt was doing now – if he had managed to find new friends like Blaine had, or if he was still being mistreated at school.

It had taken him a long time to get over Kurt's betrayal but now that he was older he couldn't help thinking that there might have been more going on than Kurt just not wanting to see him again. There was nothing he could do about that now because he didn't even know if Kurt was still in Ohio, so he usually forced his thoughts away as soon as they appeared.

His closest friends from the Warblers were there for him though and Blaine was even allowed to stay on campus with them while his dad was in the hospital. When his dad woke from his coma a few days later, a large weight was lifted from his shoulders and Blaine vowed to eat healthier as well, so the necessary change in his diet wouldn't be too hard on his dad.

The school year was coming to a close and his dad was ready to go back to work full time. Everything seemed to fall back into place, so Blaine was surprised when his dad told him to join him in the living room, a serious expression on his face.

"Everything okay dad?" he asked hoping that nothing was wrong with his health again.

"I spoke to my boss and he said he won't be able to keep me on because I'm still not allowed to do certain things," his dad explained and Blaine's face fell. He knew how expensive his dad's stay in the hospital had been and without his dad's income things would be hard for them.

"What are we going to do?" Blaine asked, making a mental list of the jobs he could do over the summer to help out.

"There's an auto shop in Lima that went up for sale and I was thinking about making an offer. The house here is paid off thanks to the money your grandfather left us and we should get a decent offer for it even with the recession. I could get a small two bedroom apartment in Lima, so you'd have a room there for when you come home from Dalton on the weekends."

Blaine stared at his dad. He wasn't seriously expecting him to board at Dalton when money was tight and his dad would have to struggle to make ends meet even without Blaine being at Dalton.

"It's okay dad. I'm not in love with going back to public school but I think it's time to face my fears and stop running. I'm not a scared little kid anymore and I won't let others bully me anymore. If they don't like who I am – fine. I couldn't care less what they think," he told his dad, smiling widely to prove to his dad that he wasn't scared at all – which for the record he totally was. Being courageous would only help him as long as things didn't get violent again.

But if it came to blows he wouldn't back down this time. After all, three years of boxing and Dalton fight club had taught him a thing or two. He had left Lima a scared little boy all those years ago and he was ready to show them all that Blaine Hummel didn't back down from a fight if necessary.

Next up: It's the first day of the new school year. Will Blaine see a certain someone again when he returns to Lima?