Nov. 2, 2012, 9:51 a.m.
How Kurt Hummel lost and found his family
Finding Home: June - Part 1
T - Words: 2,872 - Last Updated: Nov 02, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/25 - Created: Aug 24, 2012 - Updated: Nov 02, 2012 816 0 0 0 0
June – Part 1
"I've made my decision."
"I thought about what you said, and I'm willing to give us another chance, another year. I'm staying." Carole immediately pulled him into her arms and hugged him tightly.
Kurt had thought it would be a hard decision to make, but now, enveloped in Carole's arms and with his dad's hand on his shoulder, all his doubt was suddenly gone.
They were all the family he had left now, and maybe it was time to find his new home with them. The least he could do was try. He had another year after all.
Lima, OH, June 2011
Kurt had been quiet and withdrawn since his birthday party and at first Burt assumed it was because Blaine moved out the day after the party and was currently spending most of his time singing at King's Island.
It was Carole who reminded him that the first anniversary of Elisabeth's death was fast approaching and Burt could have smacked himself. With everything going on in their lives right now, he hadn't even thought about it once.
He had to do something to help Kurt, but as always he had no idea what to do. Carole's advice had been to just be there for Kurt in case he wanted to talk, but it didn't feel like that was enough. He had been trying to be a better father, and a good father wouldn't let his son go through something like that alone.
When he tried to talk to Kurt though, Kurt kept deflecting and told him everything was fine, when everyone could clearly see he was not okay. Burt considered talking to Blaine about it, but he didn't want to cause another fight between them.
In the end it was Kurt who helped him come up with an idea. One day after work he found Kurt curled up on the couch, two old photo albums on his lap. His son was crying but as soon as he noticed Burt standing in the living room Kurt frantically wiped away his tears.
When they had still been together, Elisabeth had always begged him to make family photo albums, but that had been another empty promise. Most of their pictures had ended up in a box he had never picked up from Enzo after he finalized his move to Texas.
Burt quickly made his way up to his bedroom to call up his former best friend, praying that the junk he left with him was still in Enzo's attic. He couldn't give Kurt his mother back, but he could at least make sure Kurt had things to remember her by other than the two albums Kurt hid in his bedroom.
Blaine was already waiting on a park bench when Kurt arrived outside of the cemetery. His boyfriend briefly hugged him tightly, before he was pulling him down on the bench next to him.
"Thanks for taking the day off and coming with me," Kurt told Blaine who looked close to tears as well.
"You know I wouldn't let you do this alone. I still feel bad about the way I treated you when all you were doing was trying to get me my mom back, especially when I can't do the same thing for you."
Kurt looked down on the floor, so Blaine couldn't see his face. There had been days, especially lately, when he had felt extremely jealous of Blaine. Rationally, he knew that they had both lost people in their life, because Blaine's father might as well be dead, but they had also gained people in their lives.
A year ago, he would never have wanted to have his father and stepfamily in his life, but by now he knew he could have had it worse. They had had a rocky start, but his father hadn't kicked him out when he found him with Blaine, and had grown as a person, Kurt didn't mind sharing a house with anymore.
"Ready, to go in?" Blaine asked, pulling him back into reality. Kurt clutched his mom's favorite flowers maybe a little harder than necessary when he nodded and they walked toward his mom's grave, holding hands, because in that moment he didn't care what others thought.
Blaine removed the flowers Kurt had left two weeks ago and Kurt carefully arranged the fresh daisies in the vase on the headstone.
As always, when visiting the cemetery, Kurt didn't care about his clothes, when he sat down next to his mother's grave, Blaine following suit.
"Hi mom. It's been a year and whoever invented 'time heals all wounds' had clearly never lost anyone. On some days, it's easier because I'm busy with school and Glee and I don't have time to dwell on the fact that I can't just come into the living room to tell you about my day."
Kurt accepted the tissue Blaine handed him with a watery smile, before he continued.
"But some days, I just smell pancakes in the kitchen and I expect you to be there, but then it's just Carole. There were times I needed you so bad this last year, but you weren't here for me. I know that's not your fault, but sometimes I just get angry, because it's not fair. Why did I have to lose you to get my father back? Why couldn't I have it all?"
Kurt suddenly found himself in Blaine's arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He could feel a splash of something wet drop onto his cheek and knew Blaine was crying is well. Sometimes he forgot how young they still were, when he thought about how much they had lost already.
"Is it okay if I say something?" Kurt just nodded, keeping his face buried in Blaine's shoulder.
"Hi Elisabeth, it's Blaine. I really miss you. My mom wanted me to tell you how grateful she is that you took me in last year when I had nowhere else to go. I know I told you how much that meant to me often, but I just want to say it again. You saved me, and for that I always will be grateful. You have raised an amazing son, and for that I thank you as well."
By the time Blaine finished they were both a crying mess. Still Kurt managed to look up when he heard footsteps approaching. His father was slowing walking toward them, a single white rose in his hand.
"I didn't want to disturb you, and I'll be gone in a minute, I promise." Kurt shook his head and let himself be pulled up by Blaine. He had said what he needed to, and even though sitting next to the grave and talking to his mom normally helped, it only made him sadder today.
"I have something for you when you get home," his dad called out to him as he and Blaine slowly walked back to his car. Whatever it was his father had for him, it could wait. He needed some cheesecake and ice cream first.
Together with Carole, Burt had managed to pick up the boxes he left at Enzo's house and she had helped him make a scrapbook that contained pictures from before he and Lizzy had gotten married.
Before putting the pictures into the book, Carole had taken them to his office and had scanned them into the computer to make a picture CD for Kurt he could easily take with him once he left for college.
Burt just hoped, Kurt didn't hate his idea, but he had no idea how his son would react. Carole found it sweet and he knew he could trust her intuition when it came to Kurt.
Kurt came back home late that night, but Burt wasn't surprised he had spent the day with Blaine. After all, a year ago, the boys only had each other. His son's eyes were still slightly red-rimmed, but he looked more put together than he had when Burt had discovered him at Elisabeth's grave. He himself had renewed his promise to Elisabeth that he would make sure Kurt would be happy in the future. A promise he hoped he would never break again.
"You said you had something for me?" Kurt asked as he walked into the living room where Burt had been waiting up for him.
"I don't know if you're going to like it or not, but I put together all the pictures I had of your mom that had never been put into an album." Burt picked up the scrapbook and CD and brought them over to where Kurt remained frozen in his spot.
"Um, Carole put the pictures on a CD for you as well, in case you want to have them on your computer." He awkwardly patted Kurt's shoulder as his son sunk down onto the couch clutching the book.
Burt watched in silence as Kurt flipped through the pages, but jumped up in alarm when Kurt started sobbing uncontrollably.
"What's wrong? Do you hate it?" Kurt shook his head, and Burt leaned over his shoulder to take a look at the picture Kurt was staring at. Elisabeth was standing with a group of smiling teens under a sign that identified them as McKinley High Glee Club 1990.
"Well, where did you think you got that voice from?" "I knew she was in Glee, but I've never seen a picture from that time. Mom said she lost the pictures during a move."
Because Burt had never done what Elisabeth had asked him for, she probably had believed they were lost when they moved to Lima. All those years, they had been sitting in a box in the garage until Burt had just grabbed everything stored in the garage and had taken it with him. It was his fault, Kurt had never seen pictures of his mother like that when he was growing up.
"So you don't hate it?" Kurt wiped his eyes on his sleeve, something so unlike Kurt. "I love it! Thanks so much, dad. I, I think I'm going to take it up to my room to look through the rest of them."
Burt smiled at his son's retreating form, glad that he had done something right for once.
The weekend before he and Rachel would start working as counselors at art camp, Kurt drove to King's Island to watch Blaine perform. Because he was in Texas the previous summer, he had never watched Blaine perform solo outside Glee club and he was dying to see him.
Blaine looked surprised, but happy to see him when he found his boyfriend outside the stage door, but they didn't get much time together, because his cast mates constantly had to "borrow" him for something that couldn't wait.
He was glad Blaine had friends here, but he didn't like how some of the girls were staring at him. He knew it was ridiculous to get jealous, especially over a bunch of girls, when Blaine had always been faithful to him, even when he had thought they had broken up.
While Kurt was waiting for Blaine to come back out, a tall blond guy came up to him, sighing dreamily. "Isn't Blaine the hottest?"
Kurt had no idea how to answer that. Of course he thought Blaine was hot, but why was this guy telling him this. "Just too bad the guy is straight. Otherwise I would be all over him by now." What the hell?
Before he could ask Blaine what that was all about, Blaine told him that the show was starting soon and Kurt had to walk over to the stage to secure a good seat.
The first couple of songs were group numbers and Kurt had to admit that the performers were all very talented, even stupid blond guy. Toward the end though, Blaine came on stage alone and sat down in front of the piano.
"This is for someone very special to me who is here today. I love you." The audience awed when Blaine started to play the song, and Kurt temporarily forgot he was mad at Blaine for lying about his sexuality.
...
It's a little bit funny,
This feeling inside.
I'm not one of those who can
Easily hide.
...
I know it's not much,
But it's the best I can do.
My gift is my song and
This song's for you.
...
Kurt found Blaine outside the stage door again after the show was over and after making sure Blaine's cast mates weren't close by he pulled Blaine closer.
"Why didn't you tell anyone you have a boyfriend? I just had to listen to stupid blond guy telling me how hot you are and how he would be all over you if you weren't straight."
Kurt had expected that Blaine would at least look guilty, but he just sighed.
"Look Kurt, this is Ohio and if I want to get hired here I sometimes can't afford to tell people about my private life. The audience here consists mostly of teenage girls who like to pretend they could have a chance with the performers and if you are nice to them, their parents tip you well."
Kurt understood where Blaine was getting from, but because he had never really been able to be in the closet he didn't see the need to pretend to be someone he wasn't. Nobody had asked him about his sexuality during his interview for the counselor position, but he would probably not tell any of the kids he had a boyfriend either, because not all parents were gay friendly.
"I just wish we lived in a world where we didn't have to hide our relationship to get jobs and stuff like that. I hate that we are discriminated against, and there's nothing we can do, unless we are prepared to take someone to court over it."
Blaine took a quick look around as well, before kissing Kurt chastely on the lips. "You know I hate it too, but next year we'll be in New York and things will be easier for us there. I promise."
Kurt reluctantly let Blaine go once his break was over and Blaine promised to visit him at camp on one of his weekends off. He hated that he barely saw Blaine nowadays because they weren't living together anymore.
Burt had just gone into the kitchen to get Carole another soda, when he heard his wife groan in the living room where they were watching a movie. "Not that guy again."
He quickly went back to her and watched the scene unfolding on screen. A middle-aged man was standing in front of an American flag as a voice over addressed the audience. The background then changed to pictures of the man posing with happy families, shut down adoption agencies and a proposed bill that would only allow married heterosexual couples to use surrogates.
"Don't you want your kids to grow up to become decent citizens? Then why would you let them be raised by homosexuals? A child needs a mother and a father, not two fathers or mothers. If you vote for me I promise to make sure that no child will ever be raised in such an unhealthy environment in Ohio again. I'm saying no to letting gays adopt children, no to allowing them to use surrogates. If you don't want to follow our rules, you're welcome to move. But I promise that in the future every child born in Ohio will have a mother and a father if you elect me as your next Ohio State Senator for district 12. I'm Richard Nelson, and I approve this message."
Burt's hands were balled into fists. "God, I hate this guy. He said in a newspaper interview that his laws wouldn't affect kids like Rachel because it's too late to save them, but if you illegally have a child under his proposed laws that kid will be placed into foster care. How can that be better than being raised by two loving parents?"
Carole patted the space on the couch next to her and put her arms around his shoulders after he had sat down.
"But it gets worse. You wouldn't be allowed to adopt a child your partner has from a previous relationship and kids would have to stay with the straight parent even if the other parent could proof the kid would be better off with him and her. People are afraid that if the law gets passed they wouldn't even be able to visit Ohio with their children without being in danger of having them taken away. And just when I found out Kurt could have kids after all."
"I know what you mean, Burt. The awful thing is that people are actually voting for him." He knew something had to be done to stop the guy, but he didn't know how. He was a mechanic not a politician and he didn't really know how these things worked. Could this guy really introduce a bill like this?
"The problem is that there is no opponent apart from the cheerleading coach from Kurt's high school, who isn't a real alternative. I don't really understand her crusade against the arts, when Kurt told us she gets all the funding and the only reason Glee club will exist next year is that Ms. Corcoran had taken them to Nationals as she had promised." Carole reminded him.
"At least it's still early in the elections. Maybe there will be other candidates before the vote in November." He really hoped so because what this man proposed was just horrible.
AN: Part 2 will be posted Saturday evening (CEST)
Thanks for reading