Chapter 3: Dads version of our break

Christmas 2038

"I guess the timing just wasnt right and I hated school…"

2013

Kurt arrived in New York two days after New Years Eve. He had spent New Years Eve at a New Directions party Blaine hadnt shown up to. He wasnt sure how he felt about it, because on the one hand he already missed Blaine so much, but on the other hand he still felt like he was in the right.

After driving his car home from Boston he deposited it behind his dads garage because he would have no use for it in New York. Mercedes of course was sad to lose her roommate but Kurt promised her to visit soon and that she was always welcome to come to New York.

Rachel sat next to him on the plane while Santana and Brittany took the row behind them. The two girls were sharing Santanas dorm room at NYU and Kurt didnt even want to know how Santana got her real roommate to not spill the beans about them.

Rachel, to no ones surprise, had moved in with Jesse right after graduation and they shared an apartment with another couple in Brooklyn, which was why Kurt had no choice but to move into the Julliard dorms. According to the information he had received he was taking over from a student who was studying abroad this semester and Kurt hoped he would get along with his new roommate as well as he had with Mercedes.

They arrived at LaGuardia airport early in the afternoon and Kurt was glad because he didnt want to navigate New York for the first time on his own when it was dark outside. He had only brought two suitcases and a duffle bag filled with toiletries because his dad had promised to mail whatever else Kurt needed and again he was grateful for his reduced luggage when he and the girls climbed onto the M60 in front of the terminal along with other tired New Yorkers and tourists trying to save money on cab fare.

He had to say goodbye to the girls on the bus as they were switching to the subway before they got to Manhattan and Kurt bent over his suitcases to hug all three of them. They made plans to meet for dinner the next day in a vegan restaurant in Brooklyn and Rachel promised to text him how to get there.

Once the girls were off the bus he checked his New York transit app again to make sure he knew what subway to change to and where to get off. The sun was disappearing between the buildings half an hour later when Kurt got off the 3 train on W 72nd street and hauled his suitcases up the stairs because the elevator was out of order.

It wasnt hard to find his school but for a while he wandered around aimlessly, trying to locate his dorm, while the cold wind made him shiver and regret that he didnt wear a hat and a stylish but thin scarf. Luckily, the second person he asked for help was actually a Julliard student who pointed him into the right direction but he didnt like the way she looked at him when he explained that he was only starting this semester when she asked why he didnt know where the dorms are.

He had received his key along with other information about the school and Kurt exhaled deeply once he was inside and his fingers slowly defrosted. He garnered a few curious looks as he dragged his luggage to the elevator but the hallway on the second floor was empty and so was his room. It didnt surprise him because classes didnt start for another two days and Kurt had wanted to arrive earlier to explore the city and find his away around Julliard.

After he unpacked he called his dad to assure him he arrived safely and was doing okay, before his dad passed him on to Ethan who talked about the snowman he had built with Finn while Uncle Burt took Kurt to the airport. Carole was over at Talas according to his dad, reminding Kurt of the one person he wanted to call about all this but couldnt, because Blaine had ruined everything by not even considering moving to New York with him.

They could have shared their first apartment right now and Kurt wouldnt have to sit around and wait to meet the stranger he was going to live with for the next few months. Hopefully, he, Santana and Brittany could move in together next fall, because apart from the year he spent at Dalton, he never had to share a room, and at Dalton he at least had known that he wouldnt get harassed for his sexuality.

Kurt went to bed early that night, dreaming of showing Blaine around New York, picnics in Central Park and ice-skating in front of Rockefeller Center. It was a dream he didnt want to wake up from, but unfortunately he had set his alarm for 7 so he could start his exploring early.

After wandering around the neighborhood all morning, freezing his ass off again and getting his shoes wet because the snow that had fallen overnight had turned into grey slush, he visited the school cafeteria for lunch. For how much this semester was costing him, he expected to get decent food unlike in high school and fortunately, Julliard didnt disappoint.

He got some salad and a chicken dish and sat down on one of the empty tables. It was fairly busy but he didnt know anyone yet and wasnt brave enough to just sit down next to strangers and try to start a conversation. He could feel peoples eyes on him however and his question whether that was a good or a bad thing was answered soon.

"I take it you are our newest fall reject?" a tall boy with short blond hair and a dancers body stopped in front of Kurts table.

Kurt frowned but didnt show that the insult hurt him.

"If you are asking if Im a new student then yes you are right. Kurt Hummel and you are?" The other boy smirked.

"Tom Ellen. Remember the name so that when Im famous you can tell people I once talked to you."

With that he turned and joined a group of people at a table close by. Another boy was high fiving him while the two girls sitting with them were sniggering while they looked in Kurts direction. Kurt just shrugged it off. After years of bulling, he could easily handle a few arrogant drama students.

Later that night he met Peter, his roommate and, as he would later learn, his girlfriend of the week. They mostly ignored Kurt and made out on Peters bed and when it got late the girl didnt leave to his surprise. That night he learned more about straight sex than he ever wanted to know and the next morning he immediately went out and invested in a pair of noise cancelling headphones before heading to his first class.

Because he had only been at Berklee for one semester he wasnt considered a transfer student and basically had to start fresh. Which also meant that he could only enroll in a limited amount of classes this semester, most of them being part of the liberal arts requirement. Kurt had always liked languages so he was looking forward to learning Italian, but it sucked that he couldnt get into an acting class until the next fall.

That first day he also discovered that his voice coach was a huge jerk who seemed to have it out for everyone who didnt plan to be an opera singer. When Kurt mentioned the word musical when he was asked about his career goals Mr. Ryan sneered.

"Why are you even here then? You are just wasting my time," he glared at Kurt while the rest of the class was enjoying the show.

"My only countertenor this year and he wants to waste it on musicals," Mr. Ryan muttered as Kurt tried to blend in with the wall he was standing in front of and a few of his class mates sniggered; probably the opera bound ones Kurt deduced.

After a long day of only semi interesting classes Kurt dragged himself back to his room, only to find Peter in bed with another girl. Kurt squeaked and crouched down to pick up the bag he had dropped in shock.

"Cant get into my room. Are you busy tonight?" he texted the girls while he hurried down the hallway.

"Sorry, but Jesse just got back home today," Rachel replied promptly and to his chagrin Santana and Brittany already had plans as well.

After a quick dinner during which people were mostly staring at him, Kurt headed over to the library to work on his Italian homework and get some reading done. No one bothered him in the library and Kurt stayed until it was ten oclock and he decided that he had given his roommate enough space.

The rest of the week it went on like that. Peter brought home a different girl nearly every night – the type of girl who didnt seem to care that someone else was in the room as well – and the few students who had talked to him had only done it to make fun of him for not getting admitted in the fall. They thought they were better than him and even the few other students who had only started attending Julliard in January as well stayed away from him for some inexplicable reason.

The Saturday after his first week Rachel invited him over to her apartment after he spilled the beans about his horrible first week. That night, he, Rachel and Jesse got drunk on cheap wine and ate unhealthy greasy pizza in an attempt to cheer him up and for the first time in a week he got a good nights sleep on Rachels couch even though his head was killing him the next morning. Fortunately, neither Rachel nor Jesse mentioned that he had started crying about Blaine after drinking a bottle of wine and Kurt was grateful that they didnt try to meddle with his relationship or whatever it was that was going on between him and Blaine.

Once his head stopped pounding and he didnt feel like throwing up anymore whenever he moved his head, he headed back to his dorm and called his dad on the way there.

"New York treating you okay so far?" his dad asked when Kurt was changing subways and the reception was back.

He hadnt lied to his dad in a while, but Kurt couldnt admit the truth. That so far he wasnt happy and while New York as a city was exciting he didnt feel like he belonged.

"Its great. All I ever dreamed of," he replied enthusiastically, thanking the acting lessons he had taken in Boston.

They kept talking until his phone lost the signal again and a severely inebriated older man used Kurt to stay upright on the 1 train. Outside it was snowing lightly again and Kurt wished he had someone to take a stroll through Central Park with or had managed to convince the girls to go ice skating with him.

Fortunately, Peter was gone when Kurt returned to their room and got started on his assignments for the coming week. He practiced his voice exercises in an empty rehearsal room and took a trip to the schools gym. But neither distracted him from the fact that something was missing from his life here in New York and even though hed only been here for a little over a week, he felt lonely.

Life went on but things didnt get much better. He barely saw the girls because they all were on different schedules and Kurt had found a job waiting tables in a coffee shop close to his dorm. Because he hadnt received a scholarship for Julliard the semester cost him 51 000 dollars, which left him with another forty grand from the insurance money and made him get a job and reapply for a scholarship for the following year. His dad had offered more than once to help out if necessary but Kurt knew that no one in his family had enough money to cover his tuition fully and he wanted to avoid student loans for as long as possible.

Finally, the weekend before Valentines Day, Mercedes and Quinn came down for a visit and they all managed to get together for a small New Directions reunion in Rachels apartment. After a few cocktails, Mercedes was the first who broke, lamenting the fact that she would be single on Valentines Day while Kurt tried his best to shove all thoughts about the day to the back of his mind. He may not have been a big fan of the holiday before Blaine, but he had come to appreciate it since then.

Kurt usually didnt drink much, so he should have made sure someone took away his cell phone before Santana broke out the tequila. To get them all drunk faster she put a sickeningly romantic comedy into the DVD player and they all had to drink a shot whenever a character said the word love.

Kurt didnt remember much about the night after the first half hour of the movie when he woke up the next morning and barely made it to the bathroom before he emptied his stomach. Rachel and Jesse were nowhere to be seen when he finally dragged himself out of the bathroom in search of aspirin, but Santana and Brittany were curled up together on the living room couch, while Mercedes and Quinn shared a pillow on the carpet beneath them.

After swallowing to pills and a pint of water he went in search of his phone and only then did he learn what he had done the previous night. He had drunk texted Blaine that he missed him – surprisingly without misspelling anything – and it freaked him out because he couldnt let Blaine know that he was beginning to think that coming to New York might have been a mistake.

"Sorry, drank a bit too much last night and Santana stole my phone," he typed with shaking hands before he turned off his phone in case Blaine texted back because he couldnt deal with it right now.

On Valentines Day he bought a cheesecake and tub of vanilla ice cream and cried his eyes out over the Notebook until Peter returned with his date. He quickly hid underneath the blanket because he didnt want his roommate to know he had been crying. Peter wasnt one of those who made fun of him, but they barely talked and even after one and a half months were still basically strangers.

The weekend after Valentines Day Rachel dragged him to a bar that was mostly frequented by the AMDA crowd.

"Youve been moping around long enough," she told him after somehow procuring two apple martinis for them. "Youre in the greatest city on earth and youre not even taking advantage of it. So Im going to help you out."

Kurt didnt like the glimmer in her eyes and he looked around nervously.

"What did you do Rachel?"

Rachel just smiled brightly before she waved at someone behind him. A few moments later they were joined by a tall men with blond hair who looked like he could be Chandlers older brother.

"Adam, this is Kurt. Kurt this is Adam. Hes a senior at AMDA and he is from Britain."

The stranger held out his hand and Kurt shook it because it was the polite thing to do.

"Its a pleasure meeting you Kurt. Rachel told me so much about you."

"Did she now?" Kurt addressed Rachel who suddenly looked everywhere but at him before she dug out her phone from her purse.

"Oh, Jesse just texted me that he got out of rehearsal early. Kurt, Ill call you. Have fun."

And with that she disappeared while Kurt glared after her. When he turned back around Adam was sitting in her chair.

"So Rachel tells me you attend Julliard. I remember my second semester, getting ready for the big presentation."

Kurt shifted in his chair.

"Oh, I just started actually. I went to school in Boston in the fall because I didnt get in at first." Adam frowned.

"Well, I wouldnt know about something like that. I got accepted into LAMDA before I even finished my A levels but my agent and I both agreed that it would make me a more well rounded performer if I continued my education in another country."

"LAMDA?" Kurt asked, inwardly rolling his eyes because of course Rachel would set him up with another snobbish drama student.

"The London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts. Surely youve heard of it," Adam clarified while he tried to flag down a waiter.

"Im sorry. I havent been out of the country yet." Adam nodded but Kurt could tell he wasnt even listening.

"Want another drink? Im buying," Adam said when he finally had the attention of a waiter.

"I probably shouldnt. Im underage," Kurt reminded the other men who just rolled his eyes.

"You Americans and your weird laws. How can you be underage at 18? 19?"

"19, but…" Kurt didnt get to finish as Adam turned to the waiter and ordered two cocktails for them.

It wasnt like Kurt was against drinking but Adam was already getting on his nerves and he was trying to find a polite way to leave soon. The accent had sounded charming at first but he wasnt interested in meeting someone new and Adams attitude reminded him too much of the students in his classes.

The problem also was that he had nowhere to go. He didnt know what he would walk into in his dorm room and had actually planned to ask Rachel if he could sleep on her couch again. But he couldnt be mad at her because he knew she had just wanted to help him get out of his funk.

While Adam prattled on about all the productions he had been in so far – in New York and London, Kurt mentally reorganized his closet and took a few sips of the sweet concoction the waiter had put in front of him until he decided he had spent enough time at Callbacks.

"Im sorry Adam, but Im going to have to go now. I made plans with some friends early tomorrow morning," he tried to excuse himself before Adam could order two more drinks.

The older man looked surprised and tried to get his phone number so they could set up a second date. Kurt had only even been on dates with Blaine but if that had been a date he surely wasnt interested in a second.

"Look Adam, I dont know what Rachel told you about me, but Im not really available. My boyfriend and I, were just taking a break right now because I live in New York and he doesnt but were trying to work things out."

It was a lie because he hadnt even spoken to Blaine since late November but that was none of Adams business.

"Right, the high school boyfriend. Your friend mentioned him. Why dont I give you my number and you call me when you are ready for a grown up relationship. You are hot; dont waste it on waiting around for some guy you loved when you were sixteen."

Kurt didnt dignify that with a response and threw a couple of dollar bills on the table before he grabbed his coat and bag and left without saying goodbye. Adam didnt try to stop him, which was probably for the best.

As soon as he was outside he dialed Rachels number.

"What were you thinking?" he yelled. "First of all, Im not single and that guy was a pretentious douche."

Rachel sounded apologetic when she replied.

"Im sorry Kurt, but I thought the point of taking a break was seeing who else is out there. And Adam, well were in the school play together and I know how much you like Downton Abbey so I thought…"

Kurt cut her off before she could ramble on.

"Alright, I forgive you for Adam. But Im not looking for someone else. I dont want to end things with Blaine and as soon as he comes to his senses…"

"But what if he doesnt change his mind, Kurt. Are you planning to be alone forever if you cant have Blaine?" He didnt like Rachels question because he knew she was right.

"Of course not."

"So give me another chance. Let me introduce you to someone so you know what your options are."

Kurt mulled it over for a moment. Maybe he would enjoy New York more if he had someone to share it with. But just the thought of dating someone who wasnt Blaine made him feel sick.

"Its too soon, Rachel. Maybe in a few months." Another gust of cold wind blew through the alley he was standing in front of and Kurt wrapped his arm around himself to keep him warm.

"Alright. Do you still want to come over? One of my classmates scored me a bootleg copy of Book of Mormon."

"Jesse wont mind?" Kurt asked because a night on Rachels couch sounded heavenly.

"He knows you are my best friend and he has me every other night."

"TMI, Rachel," he teased her as Rachel sputtered indignantly. "But thanks for the invite. Ill be there in about thirty minutes," he estimated before he disconnected the call and looked up the fasted way to Brooklyn.

When Santana let it slip a few weeks later that Blaine had been on a date, he finally agreed to let Rachel set him up on another date. It was a disaster and Kurt wondered where Rachel found those guys and why she thought they were right for him.

Daniel went to AMDA as well and was in his third year. He had just returned from a semester abroad in Rome and proceed to tell Kurt all about the hot guys he had slept with during those six months.

"So I dont want to brag, but I can tell you right now, sex with me is going to be amazing." When Kurt made a face he continued. "Oh my God, please tell me youre not a virgin. Because I dont do relationships. I like to keep it casual."

Kurt didnt know what to say to that. It wasnt his place to judge other peoples lifestyles but Daniels wasnt for him. Because he didnt want to be rude, he stayed for another drink but when he tried to bid his goodbyes, Daniel got up as well.

"Great. I was about to suggest we get out of here. I have single this semester so we should head to my place."

Kurts jaw dropped because why in the world did Daniel think Kurt was going home with him? But then he decided to have fun with it.

"Id love to. But my doctor said I shouldnt have sex until everything down there has cleared up," he motioned to his crotch. "But hey, do you want to get dinner in about two weeks?"

Daniel left before Kurt could finish his sentence. Satisfied he ordered a slice of cheesecake and texted Rachel that she was fired as wing woman and didnt plan to go another date until he had spoken with Blaine.

For spring break he had to stay in New York because they were short staffed at the coffee shop and he needed the money, but his dad came up for a few days while Carole took care of Ethan and their newest foster kid. After his shift, he took his dad to a restaurant close to his dorm where he made sure his dad ordered something healthy and ended crying over his cheesecake when his dad asked how he was really doing in New York.

He didnt return to his room that night, but followed his dad to his hotel instead.

"Look kiddo," his dad said once Kurt had washed his face and was sitting on his dads bed. "No one is forcing you to stay here. If youd rather go back to Boston youd have our full support and not just because its cheaper."

"Really? You wouldnt be disappointed?" Kurt asked because somehow over the past two years his dads approval had become important to him.

"We just want you to be happy and even when you tried to convince us otherwise we could tell you werent. At least not like you were before."

Kurt called Berklee the day after his dad left New York and asked if he could transfer back next fall. He learned that while yes he could, he would have to reapply for financial aid and scholarships. Mercedes was ecstatic when he told her the news, but both she and Rachel implored him to tell Blaine so they could work on getting back together. But Kurt couldnt. He couldnt admit that he made a mistake; that he couldnt handle New York; that he was miserable there because he missed Blaine and the other students didnt like him. At least not yet. He decided that theyd have the conversation once his transfer was final and he was back in Lima for the summer.

He heard back from Berklee after he had already informed Julliard of his decision not to return in the fall, but unfortunately they werent able to afford him the same scholarship he had before. The new one would still cover half of his tuition but that meant that he would have to use the insurance money once again, at least until he could reapply for financial aid the next semester.

Santana, Brittany and Rachel were sad to see him go, but they all understood that he had to do what made him happy. And they were all going back to Lima for at least a few weeks so Kurt was still going to see them during the summer and they made plans to visit Boston more often.

To avoid shipping his belonging back to Lima, he put what he didnt need into storage so he would just have to pick it up before he moved back to Boston. Once his last final was taking care of he set off toward the airport, his two suitcases and duffle bag in tow. He was alone this time because he had to leave New York early for Caroles graduation and as he watched New York disappear through the window he wondered what the future would bring and if he would ever make it back to what was once the city of his dreams.

Christmas 2038

"Well, obviously we did," he concludes his story and drops a kiss on his husbands cheek.

"Its surprising we turned out so well with parents like this. I hope well never be this stupid," his daughter remarks and high fives her brother and Kurt just rolls his eyes and lets it go, because he was her age once as well and thought nothing could ever rip him and Blaine apart.

Fortunately his nephew doesnt participate in tease the parents and listens with rapt attention, so Kurt doesnt mind when he asks a question.

"So you and uncle Blaine talked after grandmas graduation. Did you get back together then?"

Kurt shares a look with Blaine before his husband nods.

"The summer of 2013, uncle Kurt finally caved and told me everything about New York and I may have made some impulsive decisions."