The two boys had been best friends since high school. After graduation, they decided to attend the same college, though with different majors. The two of them did everything together, from watching marathons of Project Runway to comforting the other when he cried his eyes out over a breakup. Well, Kurt was the one comforting Blaine. Kurt never had a relationship with any guy at college, though Blaine dated on and off. Truth be told, there were many guys who were interested in Kurt, and he knew it, but he just wasn't interested in them.

He wanted Blaine. He wanted his best friend and that was so wrong, but he couldn't control the feelings of his heart. Now that they were nearing the end of their first semester of their third year at university, Kurt couldn't handle it anymore. He needed to tell Blaine how he truly felt. At worst, Blaine just wouldn't return his feelings, but Kurt needed to know.

Kurt had his heart set on this decision, and quickly dressed before leaving his apartment, cutting through campus on his way to Blaine's apartment. It was bitterly cold outside, and, though it wasn’t that late, the sun began to set and the sky blew up in gold light, the clouds tinged orange. Kurt slowed his pace to appreciate the beauty of it.

He eventually found himself at Blaine’s front door. He knocked and waited for less than a minute before the door was pulled open. It was one of Blaine’s roommates, who knew Kurt well and let him in. He told Kurt that Blaine wasn’t there, but would be soon, and to feel free to head up to Blaine’s room. Kurt thanked him before heading up the stairs to Blaine’s room, a place had been many times throughout this semester. The sun just peaked out from a distant mountain, and Kurt moved over to a window to stare at it. He moved the white curtains out of the way and looked out. Smiling, Kurt opened the window and began to climb out as there was a small expanse of roof right below the window. He closed the window almost all the way behind him so that cold air wouldn’t fill Blaine’s room, but left it open enough so that he could open it and crawl back into Blaine’s room when he was ready to.

Kurt, for some odd reason, started sweating, and removed his heavy winter jacket, putting it down in the corner of the roof. It was chilly without his coat on, but Kurt enjoyed it and leaned back on his hands, watching the sun set in front of him. It was absolutely beautiful, and not long after it went down and the world turned pitch black he heard Blaine’s door open and feet moved in the room. Kurt moved just a bit before he heard something that made him freeze.

The unmistakable sound of kissing met his ears, and Kurt felt as though his heart was being stabbed. He stuffed his fist into his mouth, the fabric of his shirt muffling the broken cry that left his mouth. He shuffled forward a little bit to look through the window. Though the curtains were in the way, Kurt could make out Blaine’s curls on the bed through the crack in the curtains. He also saw another body pressed down on top of Blaine’s, the mouth of the other boy attached to Blaine’s neck as he kissed his way up and down it. Kurt felt bile rise in his throat and tore his eyes away from the scene in front of him. He moved away from the window slightly and felt the tears running down his face freeze in the cold winter wind. He moved forward to get his coat when he heard movement close to the window.

Acting on instinct, Kurt stood and jumped, hanging on to the section of roof that was higher than where he had just been and pulling himself up, rolling over so that he was hidden from Blaine’s window. Once he was sure that he was not going to fall, he moved his head so that he could see what was happening with Blaine. Kurt realized that he had been right to trust his instinct; the two boys – men, Kurt corrected himself – were lying side by side, staring at the stars. He heard muffled conversation carried on the wind, but it was too faint to make out. Kurt then saw the two bodies move towards each other, arms and legs intertwining and faces pressed together. Kurt felt tears prick his eyes, but he knew it could be worse.

“Blaine, no!” Kurt jumped slightly in shock, the raised voice surprising him.

“It’s way too cold!”

“Oh come on, live a little!” He heard quiet laughter and then heard a whispered okay.

Kurt’s eyes widened in horror as he saw Blaine pull off the other man’s shirt and then his own. In any other situation, Kurt would have blushed, but he was too mortified to do anything but stare with his mouth hanging open. He heard more kissing and saw their hands explore each other’s bodies. Before he could think anything else, he heard the sound of a zipper being pulled and Kurt’s mouth fell open even further.

Oh God, no, please, just no. But nevertheless, he saw Blaine pull his pants off and Kurt’s tears ran in rivers down his face. He rolled onto his back and stared at the sky, his tears running over his temples and into his hair where they froze. Here he was, on a freezing night in December, with no coat, tears freezing on his skin, and listening to his best friend and romantic interest have sex with another man less than ten feet away. Kurt felt his stomach give way and he willed himself to not be sick. He didn’t want Blaine to catch him. However, he heard the sound of skin slapping next to him and faint moans and Kurt balled his hands into fists and began hitting the roof as hard as he could while he was still on his back. He opened his mouth and allowed the sobs fighting to escape him come out quietly as silent screams.

Kurt reached into the pocket of his pants and pulled out his phone. He quickly clicked on his music app and pulled out his headphones, thankful that he always carried them with him. He clicked on the first song he saw and shoved the headphones into his ears. He turned the music up all the way, effectively shutting out the sound of Blaine moaning. However, Kurt was now faced with the issue of his music choice. An acoustic guitar and string ensemble flooded his eardrums.

When your tears are spent on your last pretense

And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense

When it’s in your spine, like you’ve walked for miles

And then only thing you want is just to be still for awhile

His floodgates opened yet again as the backing vocals came in. Kurt never cried so hard in his entire life. He rolled over onto his side, facing away from Blaine, and pulled his knees to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and rocked slightly, trying to comfort himself and keep himself warm as another gust of wind floated over him. He listened to the song as it moved on to a new verse.

You’re overwhelmed and you’ve lost your breath

And the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless

When you try to speak but you make no sound

And the words you want are out of reach but they’ve never been so loud

Kurt ripped the headphones out of his ears and, though he tried to muffle it, a sob escaped his lips and the tears continued to run. Thankfully, he no longer heard Blaine and his boyfriend, and assumed that they were done. He didn’t move for another five minutes, constantly listening for any sound just to be sure, before he rolled over and looked down at them. He saw the two naked bodies tangled up together, but their chests rose slowly and deeply, signaling that they were both asleep. Kurt exhaled in relief and stood up. He gripped onto the bottom of the roof and carefully lowered his body until he was hanging. He released and fell a few inches before his feet quietly hit the roof below him where Blaine was sleeping.

He didn’t even look at the boys. He opened the window as quickly as he could before hesitating inside. He walked over to Blaine’s bed and grabbed his thick blanket, dragging it out onto the roof behind him. He covered the two sleeping boys before stepping back inside, shutting the window almost completely before turning and leaving Blaine’s room and running to his apartment. It wasn’t until he got home that he realized that he didn’t put his phone back into his pocket, and he had forgotten his coat.

Blaine woke the following morning slightly chilly and disoriented. He opened his eyes to see a mop of blonde hair in his eyes. He pulled back slightly and looked around. James was still fast asleep, his body sticking to Blaine’s slightly in the heat under the blanket. Blaine narrowed his eyes. He didn’t remember bringing a blanket outside last night. In fact, he was sure he didn’t. He slid out from underneath the blankets, grabbed his clothes and quickly slid into them. It wasn’t until he reached for the last article clothing on his side of the roof that he realized it wasn’t his. He started to put it on James’s pile of clothes when he froze.

He knew this jacket. He had seen Kurt wear it every day for over a month now. Blaine looked back down to his blanket and realized immediately that Kurt must have put it there. He smiled slightly before he heard quiet music. He was confused for a moment when he realized the music sounded tinny in a way, almost as though it was being muted. He looked up slightly and saw a phone dangling from the roof, connected to headphones that had gotten caught around a loose nail. He reached up and unhooked the wire, allowing the phone to drop into his hands. He unlocked the phone and turned the music, which was on full volume, off. He noticed the battery was nearly dead and realized the music must have been playing for hours. He then realized whose phone it was.

He looked down at the coat at his feet and then at the phone in his hands before his eyes widened and the blood drained from his face. Kurt had seen everything.