Kurt's blinders are not really thick, so when the morning sun arrives, the sun rays stream through the seams right into my eyes and I jolt awake. I basically hate rude awakenings like these. I turn to my left where there is a bare modicum of darkness. Kurt is facing me, sleeping peacefully from the mess he was last night.

I cannot bear to see my best friend in such a state, and it fucking kills me that Gabe did this to him. I cannot believe how stupid that guy is- honestly. He should have known better than to mess with the test considering the whole school knows they were dating. I could rip that guy's heart out right now, but for some foggy reason, Kurt still sees good in him when all I see is a shady, fucked up asshole.

I want everything that is good in this world to happen to Kurt, because he's the only one that deserves it- more than children in poverty. He deserves every bit of good this world has to offer, and the fact that NYADA might be taken away from him..no, that is not something I'm going to let happen. If it's within my power- or not- to stop it, I'm going to.

He stirs in his sleep and his eyelids flutter open. Blue, sad eyes greeting me.

"Morning," I breathe to him.

"Morning," he says sadly and it's like a dagger to my heart.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, pushing a lock of hair that has fallen across his forehead.

"Better," he croaks but I know that is not even near the truth.

"I still think you're an idiot," I tell him.

"I know," he sighs.

"Kurt, you can't let this happen-"

"Blaine, please, okay? I'm going to wait it out for awhile, and then go down and grovel and beg for a second chance. I can do this, I've thought about it. I'm going to find the perfect song, and I'll perform it to Carmen to remind her why she let me in in the first place, and hopefully this mess will be behind me and I'll graduate."

"But do you understand the magnitude of seriousness this is, Kurt? In their eyes, it was cheating, and trust me, no matter what school you go to, cheating is still like the biggest offence. I'm telling you, the chances of you not being expelled, is pretty slim. Especially NYADA's impossible standard..Kurt, please. Talk to Gabe, ask him to come forward. I know his intentions were pure, but look where it's gotten you."

"I do, but I can't do that to Gabe, okay? It'll ruin his career, and his has already taken off. I'm still working on mine. Unlike him, I still have time-"

"You can't do that to him, but he can do that to you? Where is the fairness in that?"

"He didn't mean to!" Kurt says heatedly and he rises to a sit-down position.

"Why are you so blinded by this? I mean I get Gabe is your boyfriend and all but, newsflash, Kurt, you've been working to get into NYADA since- what freshman year in high school."

"Because- because he's my boyfriend."

"Not a good enough reason to let go of your dreams. You know how you're always getting on Rachel for letting go of her dream for love? You're practically doing the same thing."

"Look, I don't want to discuss this anymore, okay?"

"Discuss what? Your future? The possibility that you might be kicked out of your dream school? What part of this don't you see?" I ask, annoyed that he's so blinded by this fucking Gabe guy.

"I do see it, Blaine! I do see that I might lose everything that I've worked for since the stone age, but Gabe means a lot to me and I don't want to see his career in ruins. If it means having to grovel for my place back, than I'll do that."

"You're starting to sound a whole lot like Rachel right now, and it's starting to annoy me. You want to be expelled from NYADA? Fine, go ahead, but I am not letting that happen," I jump from the bed and stride to the shower, but Kurt stops me.

"What does that even mean?"

"You'll see," I verdict, before shutting the door of his bathroom.

-----------

Marcus is driving to the destination I gave him when I left Kurt's building. I don't know what he plans to do at home, but if he's not going to do anything and simply wait for Carmen Tibideaux to make the decision, I sure as hell am not going to let him get expelled.

He has work way to fucking hard to be kicked out on his final year- and frankly it makes me sick that Gabe doesn't not want to come forward at his own initiative. If I was Zeus or something I would curse and thousand and one lightning strikes on his stupid, slicked back head.

The car makes a turn into Madison's before it halts in front of a white building with glass paneled windows on either side. I could barely recognize this place without the long red carpet and the blinding spotlights my mother had placed for her fashion now.

"I won't be long," I tell Marcus when he opens my door.

I stride inside, my anger brimming. Kurt means the world to me, so when someone jeopardizes his dream and not want to do anything about it even though it is in his power to do something, well then that gets me mad. I push the glass door open and my shoes make echoes as I walk across the wooden flooring.

I see a reception desk, with a brunette woman sitting behind it. She has an arrogant face- no doubt influenced by the asshole that runs this joint.

"Can I help you?" he glares at me.

"Relax honey, you're a receptionist, not a model- but I need to find Gabe Parker," I tell her.

I really am in the least mood this morning.

"He's busy."

"Doubt so. This place is empty. Second level?"

She looks at me, and taps something on her computer before pointing me to the stairs. I take off to the direction and climb the stairs, to find Gabe standing by a huge painting of a ballerina. He catches sight of me and places his clipboard down.

"Blaine," he hums, striding forward towards me. "What a nice surprise."

"Trust me, it's not going to be," I see his smile turn to a curious frown.

"Why is that?" he ask, and I almost want to punch his schmuck teeth off.

"You know what you did for Kurt was stupid, right? He got suspended, and is on the verge of being expelled," I tell him, and judging by his face, this is new information.

"What? Suspended? But- but he said he could simply retest-"

"Get your head out of your ass for just a second, can you? Did you really think they would let cheating slide like that? No, they would have to take stricter measures, but the thing is Kurt did not cheat. You did that for him, and now he has to pay for your mistake," I say heatedly.

He looks nervous. For some reason I take pleasure at this- the sight of him squirming like this. Usually he comes across as a stuck asshole to me, but to see him looking uneasy like this- damn I wish I had a digital camera on me.

"I only tried to do what was best for him-"

"You know, Kurt told me the exact thing, but here's the snitch though, Gabester. I always want what's best for Kurt too, and when I do things that would benefit him solely, I make sure that it does benefit him, not have a chance of getting expelled from school!"

"He was going to getting an average mark! I only bumped his marks up a bit so he would score!"

"I rather him graduate an average student than have him not graduate at all!" I counter his volume. "Why are you arguing this, anyway? You know what's going to happen now- he might get expelled so get your sorry ass down to the dean's office and tell them what you did!"

I see it then- the fear in his eyes.

"What's with that look?"

"If I tell them, then they're going to release a statement, and that can jeopardize my career," he says timidly, and I grow angrier.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Kurt is your boyfriend, you idiot! Your job should come second to him!" I yell in disbelief.

"Don't give me that bullshit, alright?" he says and I am momentarily taken aback. "You and I both know how hard it is to get to this point of our careers. Kurt is still starting out, he'll make it."

"The difference between you and me is that I would drop all of it if it means saving someone who means a lot to me. You know, Kurt's always bragging about how good and amazing a boyfriend you are, seems to me the man who stands before me right now chooses his career over someone he proclaims to love."

"I do love him-"

"Than do what's best for him."

"Look, the Broadway industry is dead in the first place. No matter how great his marks are, he's still going to find it hard to land a role, especially given he can only play certain characters."

"What does that mean?" I frown at him.

"You know Kurt can't play male leads opposite characters like Juliet or Maria-"

"Kurt is amazing. Have you even seen him do a play? Doubt so," I say.

I cannot believe the words of this asshole. He should be standing here even, arguing with me. He should be half way across New York to get to NYADA and tell Carmen Tibideaux what he did. I'm trying to restrain myself from knocking his lights off and dragging him there myself.

"If he is amazing, then they won't cut him out-"

"Still, his reputation will be ruined. Do you even know what the students are calling him? You started this mess, you fucking clean it up, not let Kurt take the fall for something he didn't even mother fucking do."

He still looks unsure and I am honestly questioning his priorities. I should have worn a wire or something and record him saying that he did cheat for Kurt. That would save me the trouble. All I would have to do is go down to NYADA and hand the tape to Carmen. Damn, why the heck didn't I thought of that sooner.

"I'm done talking about this. You're getting your ass down to NYADA, and you're going to tell them- beg them, even- to let Kurt retake that test. Tell them what you did, and save Kurt's ass. You got that?"

I lose my cool, then when I notice that same annoying look in his face. I push him so far back until his spine is pressed against a glass box that holds some really old looking ballerina shoes. He is stunned by my action, but honestly he is pissing me off if I had a knife, he would be dead.

"I said, did you got that?"

"Fine, I'll tell them," he says. "Now get your fucking hands off me."

"Glad to. I don't normally get my hands on rip off suits."

I release his cheap fabric and turn my heel, stalking back to the stairway when that asshole calls my name, halting me.

"What?" I say.

"I'll do it, okay? I'll go down to NYADA and tell them Kurt didn't cheat, but can you just keep this little meeting between us?"

I know why. He's ashamed I had to come here and verbally- and slightly physically- force him to save his own boyfriend. He's ashamed, deeply ashamed and I feel a sense of profound satisfaction at this. I shouldn't succumb to this though. I should let him bear the shame and tell Kurt I came here, but that would ruin Kurt. He loves this guy, and even though I know he's no good for Kurt, fact is Kurt is happier with Gabe and, unlike this asshole, I actually want the best for Kurt.

"Whatever," I waver my hand and descend down the stairs.

Marcus is waiting for me when I emerge out the building. I feel the receptionist's stare burning at my back. Why are people in the arts so arrogant. I'm glad Kurt isn't, though I feel mad at him for not wanting to urge Gabe himself, but he's a stubborn prick- as usual. I feel slightly relieved knowing that there's still hope Kurt won't be expelled.

That's what I want for him- success. He's had to gone through a lot, especially this year with almost going back to Lima because he couldn't afford tuition and rent. I was happy to help, because he's my best friend. I'm glad he's forgotten about the contract, because I never had one printed out. Now, at least one of my worries is gone.

--------

"Good morning," I greet Clara as I enter my office after that small altercation with Gabe.

"Hey," she wavers, her eyes on her computer.

"I hope that's work you're so focused on, and not online shopping again. Do you want me to send you to a twelve step program again? I threaten her, because there was a point where Clara got really crazy with online shopping and I made it compulsory for her to attend a group for her addiction.

"It's an email from your dad. He sent it to me because you didn't reply yours, which is really weird considering you're on your phone all the time."

"I was busy last night-"

"Urm, I really don't need to hear about your conquests."

"Not that. Anyway, what did he say?"

She scrolls through her page for a moment before she answers me. "He says that he has done all the interviews for the Chicago firm, and that he will be coming back to the office tomorrow. He says he cannot make it for the meeting with the Landons, so you have to do it. His assitant sent me the same thing, which is annoying considering I've already gotten one the same email from your dad."

"He's just trying to work up a conversation. He likes you," I wink at her.

"He's a child. I don't date children."

"You slept with Puck. He's a child trapped in a man's body."

"And a whole lot of man he was," Clara sighs dreamily and I force down my vomit.

"I'll be in my office. You can continue reminiscing your time with Puck."

I know my dad was just trying to cover his surgery by that fake interviews for the Chicago firm. The firm over there is doing fine. It's his code of saying he has recovered enough to come home. I am nervous, and anxious at the same time to see him. What will his mood be? I highly am sure just as nervous as me- maybe even more.

I cannot describe how nervous I am for the test results. If he is cancer free, I will revive my belief in God. I want nothing more than my father to be alive, for as long as I am alive. He is my father afterall.

My thoughts than wander to Kurt, and I wonder what is he doing. He is probably a mess from his suspension, but I feel lighter knowing Gabe is going to come clean. He should have done so at his own initiative, but somehow knowing I did this for Kurt makes me smile wide. I decide to call him, to check on him.

"Hey Kurt," I greet him when he answer.

"Hi," he replies in a sullen tone.

"I hate hearing you sad," I tell him.

"I can't help being sad," he says.

"Do you want to come here and accompany me in the office?"

"The last thing I want to do is be in a place more stressful, like an office."

"Strangely quiet here today."

"What did you mean earlier? With the You'll See dramatic shit?" he ask me.

I contemplate telling him I got Gabe to come forward and take the fall- accept his own mistakes. I know he'll feel elated that I went through the trouble, and somehow the thought of him being elated by something I did for him sounds appealing- what?- but I know he'll try to stop it, because in his nature he wouldn't want Gabe's credibility to be tarnished, despite the fact that he's a moronic loser who puts his career before his boyfriend.

"I just meant," Oh shit. I have to come up with something now. "I meant, you know- lets see, maybe Carmen will give you a second chance," I tell him and I'm glad it sounds convincing.

"Oh," he says. "Yeah, me too."

"It'll work out, Kurt," I assure him.

"You should have a crystal ball."

"Why?" I frown.

"If you're going to predict things and be a psychic, have a crystal ball."

"I'm more of a Rolex wearing, Ralph Lauren suits kind of psychic."

"Okay, lets not talk about it anymore. Tibideaux told me to wait for further notice, and that is what I shall do. I'll get off this bed soon, but for now I'm just going to savour this day."

"Okay," I say.

"Any latest on your dad?" he ask, and I smile at his concern for my problems when he has his own.

"Yeah. He told me he would be back tomorrow."

"That's great news!" he cheers and I feel lighter at that adorable, gladful tone.

"It is, but the wait for the results is going to be excruciating."

"At least the surgery went well. Wasn't your nightmare about how the surgery went terribly wrong?"

"Yeah, I guess that's one thing less to worry about."

"Are you taking him from the airport tomorrow?"

"I doubt so. I have a meeting."

"Hm, okay. Well I guess I'll let you go back to work."

"I'll cancel everything right now if you can't find anyone else to go out with."

"Don't do that, you maniac," he laughs. "I think I'll call Gabe later. Ask if he wants to come over or something."

"Asshole," I roll my eyes.

"Please, I really don't want to argue about it, okay?"

There's nothing left to argue about. If Gabe doesn't come forward, I'm dragging his ass down there myself. I'll leave it to him if he wants to tell Kurt about coming forth with the truth to the dean, but whatever he decides, the conclusion would be Kurt cannot get expelled, because if he does, I'm going to kick Gabe's ass so bad.

"Alright. Go call your boyfriend then," I say.

"Call me, okay? And remember-"

'- you're here, I know," I sigh at his constant reminder that he'll be my support through the wait for my father's results.

"Yes. Have a good day babe," he says.

"You too," I say and he hands up, but a part of me wishes he would be here hanging with me instead of Gabe.

-----------

The following day, I am impatiently waiting for my dad's arrival home. I quickly rush through the meeting with the Landons- a rich family who wants to set a trust fund for their kids. I tell Clara to cancel anything else I might possibly have for the day and tell Marcus to take me to my parents home.

"Uncle Blainers!" Camilla squeals when I come through the front door.

"Hello, princess," I greet her like the jewel she is in my family, picking her up off her feet. She giggles as I carry her into the main room where my mother is on the grand couch, reading a timeless favourite The Scarlett Letter.

"A little risqué choice, don't you think mum?"

"Blaine," she smiles when she sees me. "Come give your mother a hug," she says in her normal fashion. I do, and she wraps her arms around me, making me feel like I am twelve again. "How have you been?"

"Fine, mum," I tell her. "How are you? Since- you know, Cooper's meltdown?"

I see her face harden. I wish I hadn't said anything. Cooper's been my mother's favourite since I can remember, and I know it must be hard for her not being able to see him, or see him but in the state he is now. I haven't heard much about him since that night either.

"I've been okay. I tried calling him the other day but he didn't answer."

"Why would you call him?"

"Because he's my son, and your brother?" she frowns at me.

"But dad said to keep distant from him for awhile. At least until he calms."

"I am not going to let your father prohibit me from seeing my own son," she points out. "He may be upset now, but he is still my son and we should not abandon him because of his mistakes. Denise has valid reasons, I guess, but we don't- and either do you," she says and I know then that my father hasn't told her about what Cooper said to me. I wonder what he told her about his termination- or maybe resignation is what he told her.

Maybe I forgive easily, or maybe, as weird as it sounds, I actually miss my annoying older brother, but that does not overwrite what he did. Not only to me, but to Denise, Camilla, my dad- heck, those girls he fucked even. No, I've settled on my judgement. I will stay mad at him until he comes grovelling for my forgiveness.

"Is that Blaine?" Denise voice comes from the kitchen. She emerges with an apron around her waist, her hands wet- but she still looks the stunning, ex-model that she is.

"Hey," I greet her with a hug. "Were you cooking?"

"Sort of. The chef is teaching me how to bake cookies."

"That's way too surburban for New York," I laugh.

"Tell me about it," she says. "So how you've been?"

"Okay, I guess," I shrug, because I don't feel good telling her I've bee great considering she's probably going through hell with her own life. In fact, her eyes look really exhausted.

"Blaine, when does your dad arrive home?" my mother ask.

"I don't know, but his plane touched down an hour ago. Plus the time taken to grab his luggage, find the car, traffic, I'm guessing about hour or so."

"Well I should get dressed now!" my mother yelps and she runs up the stairs. It's adorable how she still wants to look pretty for her man, despite how long they've been together.

"Can I talk to you?" Denise says and I know it's something important.

"Sure," I shrug.

"Camilla honey, can you go play upstairs for awhile?"

"But uncle Blainers is here," she pouts.

"We can play later, princess," I smile at her and she grins before dashing up the stairs, her tiny legs barely climbing the steps.

"What's up?" I ask Denise.

"Okay, so the other day I was cleaning the house and I didn't mean to go inside your dad's home office- I was just returning a book I borrowed from him a couple of days ago, but I saw something on his desk," she says, and I know she's afraid to tell me.

"What?"

"Look, I don't know how to tell you this," Denise starts. She looks so scared of what she's about to tell me, but a part of me already knows. "I think your dad has cancer."

"I know," I tell her. Might as well tell her, since she already has her suspicions down on point.

"What? You know?" she ways with her eyes widened. "Does your mother-"

"No. Technically she's the only one. Cooper knows too."

"Cooper knows? Wait, if he knows, how come your mother doesn't?"

"My dad wants to keep it a secret because he found this new surgery apparently- and it might be able to cure him," I tell her. I know I can trust Denise. Despite her modeling days, she's actually pretty reliable. "He also doesn't want to get my mother's hopes up then possibly crushing them."

"Oh- has he gone to the surgery?" she ask.

"Yes," I tell her. "That's why he's been gone."

"Oh my god, and the results?" Denise ask little anxiously.

"Next week," I tell her in dread.

"Oh god...are the chances..good?"

"There's an eighty percent chance it might enhance the cancer cells. A twenty percent chance it might work," I tell her, gulping down hard at my own words.

"If the chances are that slim why would he go for it?" Denise says in shock.

"It's still hope, and he'll take all the hope he can get," I tell her.

"That's really risky though," she says. "Does Cooper know about the surgery too?"

"He doesn't, and it should remain that way."

"Why? It's his father too. Maybe if you told him this it would get his mind straighten out or something," she says.

"No. Not until the results of the surgery. If it doesn't work then there really was no point making people hopeful. You can't tell anyone, Denise."

She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. She looks worried- just as worried as I am which is understandable because my parents are like the parents she never had.

"Okay, don't worry I'll keep it to myself. But you'll tell me the results, right?"

"I will," I tell her.

"It feels so unreal though. Your father is such a healthy man- I had the shock of my life when I saw that paper on his desk."

"Don't tell him you know either. Just- pretend you know nothing."

"I will," she says, and we are silenced when the door opens and my father enters, looking tired with a bandage on his throat.

"Dad!" I greet him, striding towards him and pulling him in a hug, so glad he's home.

"Blaine," he barely croaks.

"You okay?" I ask, my face ashen with worry.

"Fine," he says and he clears his throat, though his voice still sounds rough. "Just a little uncomfortable in the throat area."

"Do you wanna rest?" I ask him.

"It's okay," he says, and his eyes wander to where Denise is standing a few feet away. "Denise, hi," he greets, walking towards her and hugging her too.

"Welcome back Mister Anderson. I hope the trip was a success-" I glare at her quickly and she bites her lip.

"It was okay," my father says. "And for the last time, you can call me dad."

Even though both my parents have repeatedly requested Denise to refer to them less formally, I know she doesn't feel comfortable because she grew up without parents, and on top of that her marriage with Cooper is on the rocks, so it would be awkward to call them mum and dad.

"Is your father here yet? Because I'm still deciding on an outfit!" my mother yells from above.

"He's here, mum," I roll my eyes and I hear her footsteps rushing down the stairs. Her smile is wide, and it's adoring to see how happy she is to see her husband. Some people say that marriage gets boring as it ages- my parents are living testament that sparks don't die out easily.

"I've miss you, dear," my mother sighs as she hugs my father. "Oh- what is that on your neck?" she frowns, parting from him an examining the bandage.

"I just- had a little cut-"

"A little cut? Oh my god, what happened? How? Are you okay? Did you go to the emergency room?"

"It's okay. Nothing to worry about, my love," my father assures her but I gulp down my guilt- and I see Denise do the same.

"Why is your voice so soft? Did it damage your vocal chords? Are you sure you're okay-"

"Honey," I father stops her. "I'm fine."

"You can't just show up here after days of being away with a huge plaster on your neck and expect me not to be worried!"

"I know, and I'm sorry I've been away."

"I hope you have no upcoming trips anymore, because I miss you too much already."

I smile at their love and affection, how their vows of always keeping their love alive is still intact. My mother still swoons over my father, her eyes light up every time she's with him- practically skin glowing. My father still looks at her like she's a diamond- a rare one. I love how they are together, and deep down, and I'm talking really deep, deep down, I think I want that very same relationship someday.

"I will be with you in a moment, but right now I need to talk to Blaine about some business."

"Okay," she says. "I'll tell the chef to whip us up some lunch," my mother says as she leans forward and kisses my father. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I hope I'll be fine," my father says smoothly. "Blaine, could you follow me to the study?"

"Sure," I say.

We climb to the second storey. I hear my mother ordering the chef around, her voice slowly dying away as I follow my father to the far corner of the second storey to where his home office is. He seems lethargic, walking in a slower pace than usual. We enter and I shut the door behind me.

"Dad, you're sure there was no complications with the surgery?" I ask immediately when he takes his seat.

"I am sure. They had to induce that coma to give time for my throat to heal, but it feels better than the first day."

"I'm glad," I tell him.

"The doctors said that the surgery went accordingly, but the results are indeterminable for now. We have to wait another week or so for the final outcome- though you know the chances of it."

"I know.." I tell him dreadfully. I don't know how to have hope on something so bare.

"I don't want you to think about this, Blaine. Or worry too much about it. Let me worry about this, okay?"

"Dad, that's pretty impossible."

"Just- try. I don't want you to stress out over this."

"I'll try."

"Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" he ask, and I am glad we're on that topic.

"Actually, yeah. A few days ago, Cooper stormed in here and demanded for Camilla."

"He- what?" my father yelps, but he coughs from trying to raise his volume. "Why didn't the security team stop him?"

'They tried, but Cooper was just raging mad."

"Did he hurt anyone?" my father ask.

"No- well, technically only me- but that was my fault. I should have called security, not try to remove him myself."

"We will need to talk to Cooper sooner or later. After the results of this surgery, we're going to have to do something about him, you know that, right?"

I have had thoughts about how long my parents were going to keep Cooper at a distance, and I knew sooner of later we would have to step in to help him because we are still his family. Denise has her reasons, and I know my father respects them, but Cooper is still his son and I know deep down that despite his termination of Cooper and all the other shit he has done, it does not rip away his title of the family name.

"I know," I tell my father. "You still have a security detail on him?"

"Yes, and they tell me Cooper's been spending time at home a lot lately."

"Really? No more bars?"

"Apparently not," my father shrugs. "I really wish your brother would come to his senses and come here, calmly. If he would come here in a calmed down state I would allow him in."

"Maybe he has finally accepted his mistakes or something."

"I hope so too. Now all we need is Denise to work up the courage to face him, and I am not going to rush her."

"I know, dad."

"So, I would be on bed rest for the rest of the weekend and I will be back in the office on Monday, but I will be flying out to Chicago again on Thursday night. I will receive the results on Friday," he tells me and I feel my palms sweat at the time frame.

"I'm not even going to ask if I can come," I say to him because I know he wouldn't allow it.

"That's smart of you," he says.

"Dad- I'm scared," I confess to him. "The chances are..-"

"I know the chances, Blaine. There's a high possibility I'm circulating the drain here but I've done the surgery."

"I guess I'll just- hope, then."

"Yes, now lets go down for lunch. Knowing your mother, she probably asked for a feast."

I realize I don't know what to hope for. The twenty percent? I know the surgery is very unlikely to work, so maybe I should just not bother and start spending time with my father instead than hoping on something extremely slim. I look at my father, and how I wish things were different.

------

It's a Monday and everyone is treating my father'a short absence as nothing. I can't blame them, because they were under the impression he was on a business trip. I wonder if they would treat him differently if they knew he had cancer.

My phone rings then and it pulls me from my reverie. It's Kurt and I smile wide. I haven't heard from him all weekend.

"Hi," I greet him when I answer.

"You're not going to believe what just happened."

"What?"

"Gabe went to NYADA and told the deans and administrators that he cheated for my test."

"He did?" I feign.

"Yeah," Kurt says, and he sounds breathless.

"That's good, right?"

"Technically..yeah."

"Technically? Why technically?"

"Well, word will probably get out and then everyone is gonna assume I did sleep with Gabe for good grades, plus this means his credibility- his reputation will be ruined," Kurt tells.

"But this means you'll get to retake the test, right?"

"I don't know that yet. They have to further investigate the situation before they can allow me to- I don't know, do something to maybe get reinstated."

"It's not confirmed yet?"

"Did you really think it would be that easy?" Kurt says irritably.

"Well, yeah. You did nothing wrong. What else is there to investigate."

"The truth? Maybe they think Gabe is lying to cover for me or something. I don't know."

"This is such a mess. You were suppose to graduate, not have to deal with this mess."

"He had good intentions-"

"- that screwed up," I add. "Anyway, when will you know?"

"They'll make their decision tomorrow. It has to be before next week because next week is all dance finals."

"God, I swear if they don't allow you back in, I'm suing their ass-"

"Relax," Kurt tells me.

"Did Gabe talk to you before he came forward?"

"Sort of, I guess. I mean, all weekend he kept telling me not to worry, which pissed me off a little, but I guess this was what he meant. He came around after all."

"Yeah, guess he did," I say.

"I don't know how I feel about this though. I mean, I really did not want to possibly ruin his career, but at the same time I didn't want to be expelled. I guess- I guess he loves me enough to come forward and take the fall."

"Yup, he loves you," I say.

Though I fight the urge to tell Kurt that Gabe chose his career, until I had to go down there and basically threaten to crush his airways for him to come forward. I don't know why, but somehow I feel like telling Kurt that it was me. It was me that did this- for him. I don't understand this feeling.

"Anyway, I'll tell you the decision tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," I breathe. "I hope it's not the latter."

"Me too," Kurt sighs and all I want to is to make sure he doesn't get expelled. "Anyway, your dad? How is he?"

"I don't know. He's okay, I guess. The results is this Friday."

"Friday? Of this week?" Kurt says in shock.

"Yes."

"Are you okay?"

I've been wanting to voice this out, but I've been afraid that if I do, maybe then it does come true. Then again, the chances are slim maybe it actually will come true. I've kept this for everyone, because basically everyone doesn't know, but Kurt is an exception. I can share things with him, he's my best friend.

"The surgery is going to be a failure," I say and I feel myself tearing apart when those thoughts, became actual words. Kurt remains silent, and I'm glad. "It's not going to work. I can tell. He's cancer is still there, and on Friday they're going to tell us that it's a failure and he probably has mere weeks left to live."

"Blaine-"

"Please," I sigh. "Please don't tell me to have hope, because there isn't any point to have any hope, Kurt. No point. It's better we all just accept the fact that he's going to die. It's better that my mother knows now that he has cancer, that way she can spend more time with him. Frankly, it's selfish that my father wants to keep this secret- selfish because he's not letting people who love him be with him in his time of need. I've outgrown having hope because there is no reason. I can feel it. He's dying," I confess and a tear slithers down my cheek.

Kurt stays silent for another few heartbeats, because he knows I'm broken and I'm upset and he knows when to let me wallow in my sorrows. This is what I've been feeling, and it feels lighter to tell this to someone- to say aloud my worries because that is the truth. There is no point hoping on a 20% chance.

"Blaine, this is your fear talking. Maybe you're right, maybe the chances are that slim, but no matter how slim, there's still hope. Look, he had terminal cancer, right? There usually is no hope for terminal cancer patients, but there was hope. The surgery was hope, despite how narrow the chances of cure was. A possibility did arrive in the time of complete impossibility. Maybe it will happen again this time."

"Kurt- you know as well as I do that miracles don't happen twice."

"Maybe, but he's your father," Kurt says. "Hold on to whatever hope there is, because he's your father."

"I can't bring myself to that," I tell him.

"If you feel that way, then I guess you should just accept your conclusions and, just make the most of his time left," Kurt says.

"I wish things were different- I wish cancer didn't exist."

"That's everyone's dream."

"I have to go. Thank you- for listening," I tell Kurt.

"I told you I'm always here, and I'll always be."

"I know. Thank you," I say and I hang up.

I sit on Throne and stare out New York City. My mind wanders back to my childhood- memories with my healthy father, how he always made me feel safe. I see that part of him in me- the way I am with Kurt. How I would never want anything to happen to him. Kurt is my rock, my world. He means everything to me, and I don't know what I would do without him.

-----------

My father spent the entire Monday night with the family- with Camilla, with my mother, with me- with Denise even. They bonded over a game of scrabble. For an ex model, Denise sure is a smart ass.

It's Tuesday and I feel heavier as the days draw closer to Friday. If I knew how judgement day felt, this sure is close.

I feel cynical that I've accepted that my father is going to die. I don't want to hope on something that could quite possibly blow up in my face. I watched my father with Camilla yesterday and I reminisce on how not quite long ago that was me- a child, looking up to him like he's Superman.

It certainly was a good childhood I had. Though most of the time I felt Cooper was their favourite, still there were some fond memories of my childhood. How my father took us to the beach one fine Sunday, and I pricked my toe a seashell. I cried as if it was going to kill me, but my father's words of comfort made me calm.

There was also my teenage years that I remember though. How my father was stricter with me- with us, Cooper and I. I remember how angry he got when we didn't perform at our optimum level, academically. I know he was my drive that I've accomplished all that I have. How do you say goodbye to the man that has been the reason for all your successes?

My door burst open then and I am momentarily baffled, but I see Kurt- standing there in the door frame with his face ashen.

"Kurt? What are you doing here?" I ask, going around my desk.

"They want me- to perform for them," Kurt tells.

"What?" I say, completely forgetting everything for awhile.

"They want me to perform for them," Kurt repeats. "I just came from a meeting with the deans of NYADA and they say they're going give me a second shot- because I haven't had any bad records before, only this one...so they're giving me one more chance. They going to let perform.."

"Kurt! That's amazing!" I say and I pull him into a hug, kissing his cheek, and I feel him blush.

"I know. I was sure they were going to expel me," Kurt says.

"Clearly they knew you are too big a talent to throw away!"

"I can't believe it," he sighs.

"Well believe it, baby."

"This is all thanks to Gabe. If he hadn't come forward, then I would have still been suspended and maybe even expelled."

I part from him and frown at my delusional, and slightly dysfunctional bestfriend. He tilts his head,
confused at my expression.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. If Gabe hadn't sacrificed his career- his reputation- for me, NYADA would just be a distant memory-"

"Yeah, but if he hadn't enhanced your test, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"He had pure intentions-"

"- that does not overwrite his stupidity," I frown at him. "Will you snap out of this?"

"Of what?" he frowns at me, and I can tell he's mad.

"This! This being all hung up over your boyfriend shit. It's annoying. You know he shouldn't have done what he did! You know he should have come forward in the first fucking place, so why are you acting as if he's the biggest angel in the world when he could have avoided all this just by letting you get the results that you did."

"He had his best interest for me when he did what he did. He took the risk of coming forward and telling the deans even though he could possibly ruin his credibility-"

"Because it was his mistake! He was responsible! Of course he should have taken the fall. It's his fall! He didn't take it actually, because it was his in the first place."

"Why are you getting so angry about this?" Kurt frowns.

"Because you're acting like you're a drunk-on-love idiot! Think logically, Kurt."

"What he did was sweet. He loved me, thats why he did what he did. He come forward, also because he loved me, so yeah, maybe I am drunk on love- because I feel loved by my boyfriend. That's not a crime."

"You're honestly acting stupid right now," I say heatedly. I fight the urge to tell Kurt that Gabe only came forward because I told him to- because despite the fact that I want Kurt to snap out of this daze, I don't want to hurt him. I know he feels loved by this Gabe guy, and even though I want so badly to expose what a fraud he is, I won't hurt Kurt.

"I'm not acting stupid. I'm just in love- so maybe, if you would stop being so cynical all the time then you'd find love yourself," Kurt says. He picks his bag up from the ground and stomps out.

I don't know what to say.

He is being stupid. He knows for a fact that what Gabe did was stupid, and that he should be blamed, yet Kurt is making it sound like a sweet gesture. I don't know what is clouding his judgements but it's starting to get on my nerve how oblivious he is choosing to be over something so blunt.

For some reason, Rachel's words haunt back to me.

Jealous.

I refuse to believe that is the reason why I'm so angry with Kurt. I am not jealous. I am just looking out for my best friend and hopefully point him to the right direction than this state of a thirteen year old girl with her first boyfriend. It's ridiculous, how he's being. Maybe love does blind you.

I can't do this though. The important thing is that Kurt gets to perform for Carmen Tibideaux and hopefully regain his rightful spot there. I should just let this go- this whole hostility I have against Gabe, but somehow no matter how hard I try to shake it, I can't. I still can't like him the way everyone is liking him, apparently. But again, the most important thing is they're giving Kurt a second chance, and he did come forward- with my assistance- but still, Kurt doesn't need to know that.

Yup, maybe I should let this hostility go. But I can't.