Feb. 14, 2013, 8:50 p.m.
Remember Me: Chapter 20
K - Words: 4,159 - Last Updated: Feb 14, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 34/34 - Created: Oct 22, 2012 - Updated: Feb 14, 2013 1,169 0 5 0 0
Warm hazel eyes to blue, Kurt and Blaine laid side by side gazing into each other's soul after their physical intimacy. They weren't smiling, they just stared at each other. "I'm sorry- I told you I knew what I was getting myself into when you told me, but Kurt- I love you so much and just the mere thought of losing you-" Blaine said shakily.
Kurt tore his gaze away from Blaine, unable to bear the pain in the eyes of the boy he loved. "I wish we never met." Blaine sat up, crumpling and wrinkling the bed sheet that sheltered their bare bodies. "Wh-what?"
"I wish we never met." Kurt's tone was cold and hard, but even that he knew it didn't fully conceal how difficult it was saying it. "I wish I never met you. I wish I never bumped into you that first day. I wish I never moved to this stupid town."
Kurt got out of bed, exposing his naked body for a fraction of a second before putting on his clothes. "Where are you going?" Blaine asked. "I can't do this, Blaine. I can't put you through this I can't- I can't be with you." His tone was firm, but Blaine heard the restrained in his voice.
"I want to be with you, Kurt. I told you I knew what I was getting myself into-"
"Do you?" Kurt interrupted. "Because what you sang and how you were an hour ago begs to differ. I can't, Blaine. I'm sorry. I love you, that's why I can't bear to put you through this.We're- we're over, Blaine." Kurt grabbed his bag, ran out of Blaine's bedroom and dashed down the staircase.
"Kurt! Kurt stop!" Blaine bellowed after Kurt. He pulled the front doors open and ran across the front lawn, but just as he was about to reach the two front gates, a hand grasped his wrist causing him to halt. "Let me go Blaine!" Kurt screamed, tugging his wrist to free from Blaine's hold.
"No, Kurt. I don't want to- please don't," Blaine plead, his tone full of desperation. "I don't want to let you go, Kurt. Please-"
"If you love me you'll let me go." Kurt said, a single tear forming in the corner of his eye. Blaine seemed to be startled, his bronze optics aching at the words."Kurt-"
"If you love me, you'll let me go, Blaine." Kurt said slowly, every word like the battle he'd never dreamed. He tugged on his wrist gently, his eyes still fixed staring at Blaine. "Please."
He stared at Kurt, his warm brown eyes broken. Slowly, Blaine's clasp loosened, his fingers sneaking final contact with Kurt's skin until he let go completely. "Please don't do this-" Blaine said, his voice verging to tears. "I can't put you through this, Blaine. We can't be together anymo-"
"This is ridiculous Kurt! I love you! Did you not hear the lyrics to that song I sang to you? I NEED YOU, KURT!"
"No, do you know what's ridiculous? Knowing that you're hurting because of me! You know what's ridiculous? Knowing that the tears you cried it's because of me! You know what else is ridiculous? That you say need me, but I can't be here forever! I can't be the cause of your pain anymore, Blaine, so lets- lets just leave it here-"
"What does that even mean, Kurt!"
"It means that I don't want to see you anymore! I don't want to speak to you anymore! It means we're over!" Kurt screamed, his tears flowing violently down his cheeks. "You can't expect me to just let you go just like that, Kurt! You're the love of my life and I want to be with you till the very end!"
"This isn't your decision. It's mine. I don't want to be with you anymore, and if you love me you'll respect it." Kurt tried to keep his articulation stable, but his voice was timid and shaky from trying to control his tears. "Kurt-" Blaine took a step forward, just as Kurt took a step back.
"Goodbye Blaine." Tearing his gaze away, Kurt ran out of the two front gates. Heart thumping, head throbbing, knees threatening to buckle, he ran from the love of his life. Kurt ran until he began feeling breathless and stopped. Sinking down to the curb of the side walk, his tears streamed down his cheek. He took out his phone and scrolled through the contacts till he found the one he was looking for.
"Hello?" The voice of Burt Hummel came through.
"Dad," Kurt choked out under his sobs. "Dad could you come and pick me up?"
"Text me where you are I'm on my way."
Kurt sat on the curb of the side walk, wiping his constant flow of tears, as he waited for his father. The sky had turned dark and his phone kept blowing up with text messages from Blaine, but Kurt didn't respond to any of them. He knew this was the right thing to do, what he should have done the minute Blaine kissed him. Kurt couldn't bear to see Blaine hurting anymore, especially when it was of his expense. When Blaine began to cry as he sang that song, every guilt in his body jolted up.
Kurt knew that being with Blaine was causing more pain than good.
The familiar pick-up truck pulled up a few yards away from the curb Kurt was sitting on, and Burt practically leaped out of the driver's seat and ran towards his son. "Kurt, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Burt began checking every inch of Kurt's skin from his face to his hands to his legs for any indication of bruising. "Take me home dad. I just- I just want to go home."
He helped his son up, holding both sides of his arm to stable the boy. Kurt got into the passenger side and sunk deep into the seat as he tried to control his breathing and stop his tears from flowing. "Did something happen between you and Blaine?" Burt asked as he stepped on the gas pedal and began driving. "It doesn't matter." Kurt said.
"Kurt, if it's gotten you this upset-"
"I broke up with him, dad! I broke up with him even though my heart doesn't want to, I know I have to. I can't bear to hurt him anymore than I already have! He's been miserable since the day he found out about my cancer. He's miserable and I'm the cause of that!" Kurt buried his face into his palms and began sobbing, tears flooding in his palms.
"Kurt, your cancer isn't your fault. Blaine brought you some semblance of happiness, you deserve that-"
"But he doesn't deserve to be miserable!"
"He'll be miserable either way, Kurt!"
"I just- I wish I never met him. I was fine before, I accepted my illness and I lived my life as normal as possible. Then Blaine came along and everything's just- everything feels complicated and I just don't want to hurt anyone."
"I wish you'd stop thinking about everyone else for once, and just think about your own happiness."
"I can't, dad. I love him too much, and if setting him free might ease his pain then I'm all for it."
The truck pulled into the Hummel's driveway and Kurt got out instantly, walking straight to his bedroom and jumping onto his bed, allowing his emotions to consume him. "For what it's worth kiddo, sure Blaine might have looked miserable and sad when he was with you, be he looked just as happy." His father said as he rubbed Kurt's back comfortingly.
"Goodnight son," Burt said before ascending the stairs and leaving Kurt alone.
Blaine woke up, his eyes swollen from crying all night, his body weak but despite all his physical aching, nothing compared to the ache in his heart. He grabbed his phone from the bed side table, with some sheer hope that there would be a text message from Kurt, but when he pressed on the home button, nothing.
He dragged his legs off the bed, walked into the shower and just stood under the running water. Every drop lingered down his bear skin, down his spine. Blaine had no energy or motivation to do anything. He felt as though his whole world had been shook and everything had crumbled.
When Kurt made the decision to end things between them, Blaine felt like a thousand knives stabbed into his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to be with Kurt with the remaining time they had left, but at the same time he wanted to respect every decision Kurt made.
If not being together is what Kurt wants, then Blaine respected that, despite the fact that his heart was in a million shattered pieces.
Wrapping a towel around his waist, Blaine got out of the bathroom and stared at his wardrobe. He felt empty, like there was no purpose of getting ready for the day. "Blaine?" Mrs Anderson opened the bedroom there & popped her head in.
"What, mum? I'm getting dressed." Blaine's mouth felt tired just by the short string of words he managed. "I just wanted to ask you something," Blaine's mother entered the bedroom, ignoring her son's irritated tone. "Who is- uh- Kurt Hummel?"
Blaine froze, his bronze optics staring at no particular object in his wardrobe. "Wh-why?" Blaine mumbled incoherently. Every hair on his arms was standing, his body felt icy cold and a shiver ran down his spine. "Well because I found this chemistry textbook," Mrs Anderson held up the thick blue book, "And it says here Belongs To Kurt Hummel."
He racked his brain for an answer. It seemed to take years but was really only a few seconds. "Oh- urm he borrowed it to me because I lost mine." Blaine's mother frowned and her gazed immediately went to Blaine's study table that was situated right next to her, "But yours is right here," she said, pointing to the similar book laying on the table.
Blaine hated being intimidated by his mother. He felt so small whenever she squint her eyes, purse her lips, placed one hand on her hip and stared him down. "He must've dropped it when he was here then."
"You brought this- this Kurt Hummel here?" Mrs Anderson remained her glare, staring down at her son like a hawk. The way she said Kurt's name, like he was a peasant, an irrelevant substance. "Yes, mum. He's my lab partner we were- uh- discussing our project." Blaine heaved a sigh of relief under his breath, glad he came out with a response quick before his mother got suspicious.
"And you didn't think you needed to ask me this first?"
"Ask you what?" Blaine frowned, his annoyance level at it's peak. "Ask if you could have a friend over. This is my house, I'd like the courtesy to at least be informed that you're bringing a stranger into my home."
"This is my house too, mum, and besides, you actually have to be here every day and night to get the privilege of calling it HOME."
"Excuse me-"
"I'm late," Blaine made to snatch the book from his mother's hold, but she quickly hid it behind her back. "When did you become so rude to your own mother?"
"You wouldn't know." Blaine said. He didn't know what was making him feel so confident talking back to his mother, but he didn't like how his mother didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that she's been away a lot.
"Your dad and I have to go out of town a lot for work, so we can suppor-"
"Yeah, yeah. I heard it before. Now can you hand me that book so I can skedaddle out of here. If you want to tell me anything else, just leave a note- like you always do." He smiled sarcastically, before walking past his mother and grabbing the book from her grasp.
Blaine descended the stairs, two steps at a time and dashed out the front door. He hated talking back to his parents, especially his mother, but he was in the least mood to feel attacked. Jumping into his car, he turned the ignition and immediately stepped on the gas pedal. He grabbed his phone and was about to text message Kurt telling him he was on his way to pick him up, but was then reminded that Kurt had broken up with him.
Just the reminder made him feel even more upset than he already was. He glanced at the textbook and realized he had a reason to talk to Kurt at least. Smiling at the thought, he drove towards McKinley.
Blaine entered the school building, ignoring the glares and stares he got from a few students. He scanned the crowd in search for the signature coiffed hair, the beautiful red lips, the twinkling blue eyes, the extremely tight jeans. He saw Kurt, taking books out of his locker. Blaine walked swiftly towards the boy, trying to get past the traffic of students.
"Sup fag!" A familiar voice bellowed from where Kurt was. There was a loud thud, followed by a high pitched shriek. Once the students cleared away, Blaine got a view of what had happened. Kurt was on the ground, his back on the lockers and Puck was snickering with the group of footballers.
Blaine felt a surge of anger rise in him at the sight of Kurt on the ground, wincing in pain. Without a second thought, he did what his instincts told him to. Blaine lunged himself onto Puck, pushing him back against a wall. The other footballers got out of the way, all with stunned expressions.
"What the fuck is wrong with you! I told you to leave him the fuck alone!" Blaine yelled into Puck's face. His fist was itching to take a swing at Puck, but he restrained. "Awe sweet, someone's protective of his little girlfriend." Puck mocked. Loud, obnoxious laughter bellowed from behind Blaine and if it wasn't for Kurt's hand on his arm, Blaine would've punched the life out of Puck.
"Blaine- it's okay, you're better than this, than him," Kurt said soothingly into Blaine's ear.
"Yeah Anderson, listen to your girlfriend over here otherwise he wouldn't bent over for yo-"
"Shut the fuck up Puck!" Blaine raised his fist, ready to give it to Puck. "Blaine, please-" Kurt comforted. Blaine calmed down immediately at the sound of Kurt's voice. He lowered his fist, but kept his stare on the boy's face. "I feel sorry for your child." Blaine whispered so only Puck could hear.
Puck looked stunned, his dark pupils widen, his jaw hung low and his face grew a shade of red from infuriation. "Come on Puckerman," a voice came from the group of footballers. He snapped back to his senses but his eyes remained stunned, staring at Blaine. They walked off and all the other students dispersed from the altercation, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone in the hallway.
"Are you okay?" Blaine turned to Kurt.
"I'm fine. Blaine, you didn't have to do that. We're not together anymor-"
"I know, but I meant what I said when I gave you those flowers, Kurt. When I gave you those tulips, I said I'm going to protect you from any harm that I can. And I'm going to, whether we're together or not."
Kurt dropped his gaze, but Blaine knew that was what Kurt always did whenever he was blushing. "Here," Blaine took out Kurt's textbook from his messenger bag and handed it to him. "You left it at my place yesterday." He avoided telling Kurt what happened earlier in the morning with his mother, because Blaine didn't want to make Kurt feel like he was the cause of the spat.
"Thanks," Kurt said.
"Kurt, I understand why you're doing what you're doing, and I'm going to try and respect it as best as I can, but you need to know that there is nothing I want more than to be with you- until the very end. Kurt I love you- so much and I'm sorry if the song I sang to you was too much for you to handle, and even though it's painful to think about how you're going to- to die- it's less painful when I kiss you, when I hold you, when I'm with you. It hurts less, but ultimately it's your decision."
"I love you too, Blaine, but that's just it. I love you, and putting you through this is just- just something I can't do. I'm sorry." Kurt made to turn, but Blaine grasp his wrist.
"You're hurting me more by not letting me be with you."
A tear streamed down Kurt's beautiful cheek. He tugged his wrist, and Blaine let go immediately. "Just- it's better if you just forget me completely." Kurt said, before running away, leaving Blaine standing alone in the empty hallway.
The rest of the time in school went by slowly. Every period felt like it dragged on for days, and not talking to Kurt made the time even more dreadful. During chemistry class, Kurt didn't so much as look at Blaine. Kurt did the entire experiment himself, leaving Blaine to just stare at him. Once he was done, he settled back into his stool and buried his head into a book.
Once the dismissal bell rang, Blaine was about to leave the school premises when a female voice echoed through the hallway. "Blaine! Wait up!" He spun around and saw Rachel Berry skipping towards him, her elbow length brunette hair bouncing as she came closer. "Hi, how are you?" The girl asked.
"Fine, Rachel. Was there something you need?" Blaine tried not to sound irritated, but the truth is he wanted nothing more than to leave and go home. "I just- urm- is Kurt okay? He was pretty sombre in class today. He didn't even critic my outfit, which he usually does."
Blaine debated whether or not he should tell Rachel that he and Kurt weren't together anymore, but decided maybe it was a little private. "Yeah, I'm sure he's fine. Listen, Rachel I really have to go-"
"is he sick?" Rachel asked, ignoring Blaine's request to depart.
"Why?"
"Well earlier today, Finn told me that he saw Kurt throwing up in the bathroom. Yeah, he said how Kurt had his head in the toilet and was puking his brains out and everything-"
"When was this?" Blaine interrupted.
"Oh, urm I think it was after lunch? Maybe you should go check on him-"
"Thanks Rachel," Blaine didn't wait for the girl to respond. He dashed around the corridors and headed towards Kurt's locker. Once he made the last turn, he was thankful he saw Kurt standing by his locker, stuffing books into it. Blaine ran towards Kurt, shoving aside students who were in his way.
"Hey, are you okay? I heard you threw up earlier," Blaine said once he was standing next to Kurt.
"Where'd you hear that?"
"It doesn't matter, Kurt. Are you alright? Do you want me to drive you home?"
"I'm fine, Blaine. I just got a little nauseous that's all. Besides, I drove here."
"Are you sure, Kurt? Because if you're not feeling well maybe you shouldn't drive at all. I can drive you home and I'll come back and get your car," Blaine suggested.
"No, I'm fine. Blaine, Thank you though," Kurt smiled, shut his locker and swung his bag over his shoulder. "Bye," The boy said, before turning on his heel and walking off. Blaine watched as Kurt walked away, The urge to chase after him, spin him around and kiss him hard on the lips was so tempting. He watched as Kurt reached the end of the hallway, to the exit door, but before he left, he spun around, despite the crowd of students, his blue eyes pierced through everything to look at Blaine straight into his soul. The corners of Kurt's lips lifted, flashing him a sad grin, before he opened the door into the cold, and left.
As Blaine pulled into the driveway of his home, he was surprised to see both the cars of his parents. Normally it would be gone and would only return late at night when Blaine already asleep. He got out of his car and entered his home. "Mum? Dad?" He shouted.
"Blaine? Is that you? We're in here!" The familiar voice of his mother bellowed from the living room. He followed the echo and entered the room, to be greeted with his parents both seated on the couch, with their laptops on their laps. "Why are you guys home?"
"A huge meeting that was suppose to happen today got cancelled because the clients had their flight delay in China or something, so we don't have anything today, but we are flying off to China tomorrow."
Blaine rolled his eyes, not surprised at all by the bit of information. And then he realized something. This was his opportunity. He could come clean to his parents, with the knowledge that they're not going to be around tomorrow. If he came out to them today, Blaine would only have to endure their reaction for today, and by tomorrow they'll be off to China.
He gulped, and inhaled as much oxygen as he could to keep his brain focused. "Mum, dad, I- uh- I have to talk to you, about something. About me, actually." He felt the shivers down his spine. The atmosphere suddenly became cold and his palms started to sweat like rainfalls.
"Hmm?" Mrs Anderson said, her eyes still transfixed on the laptop screen, so was her husband's. "I need to talk to you both, please-"
"Just a second honey," Mrs Anderson said, her fingers still tapping away on the keyboard. "Dad? Please, this is important." Blaine said, his tone starting to sound like a beg, and the fact that he felt like he had to beg for attention from his parents, made him feel sick than he already is.
"Yes son, just give us a minute," Mr Anderson said, he frowned looking at the laptop screen, focused on his work than his son's plea. "Mum, dad, please this is hard enough for me to want to say just- just please put your laptops away-"
"We have some work to do, son, maybe later you could-"
"I'm gay!" Blaine shouted, finally losing his patience from the lack of attention. He buried his face into his palm, unable to meet the eyes of his parents. Both Mr and Mrs Anderson looked up from the laptop screen, their eyes wide in shock. "Wh-what?" Mrs Anderson stuttered out.
"I'm gay," Blaine said shakily, his face still buried in his palms. "I've- I've known since I was 14."
Mr Anderson remained silent, he simply stared at his son in disbelief, unable to accept the confession. Mrs Anderson was the same. She had a hand over her mouth, her eyes filled with horror. "Please say something. Anything-" Blaine mumbled.
"H-how do you know?" Mrs Anderson said, her words stumbling over each other. "I-I just knew, mum. How I should feel for girls, is-is how I feel for guys."
"Oh my god," Mrs Anderson was in tears now, her hand dropped from her hand to rest on her lap. She pushed her laptop off and went to kneel beside Blaine. "Honey, maybe this is just a phase? Maybe- maybe you're straight only- only this is temporary."
"It's not, mum! It's not, I'm gay."
"How can you know for sure! You're a teenager, you're still a child!"
"Because I'm in love, and it's to a guy!"
Mrs Anderson stood up, her face plastered in horror. "No! No this isn't happening you cannot be gay! I did not raise a homosexual!"
"Raise me?! You didn't raise me! You and dad are gone practically every single day how is that called raising me!"
"Do not say that!" His mother screamed firmly. "Your dad and I are out everyday working for you!"
"Yeah, but to neglect me completely?! You can't say you raised me when you're barely at home!" Mrs Anderson stomped off, sobbing, her tears flowing down her cheeks. Her heels echoed around the house and when she slammed the door, Blaine jolted a bit.
Mr Anderson still sat there, his eyes fixed staring at his son. He hand't move a muscle, not even when Blaine and Mrs Anderson were screaming at each other. Blaine shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable as his dad glared at him.
"Dad, say something please-" Blaine plead. His father ignored the words for awhile as he sat there still, glaring down at Blaine. He shut his laptop close and placed it on the coffee table in front of him before standing up.
"You should leave."
"Wh-what?
"Your mother and I obviously need to think things through. It's best if you leave, maybe come back at night. Or when either of us calls you." The way his father said it was so firm, so professional like it was a job interview.
"Are you not going to say anything, dad? Please-"
"I need to think. Go, son."
There was a hint of a comforting smile on his father's lips, before he left the room and ascended up the stairs, into a room of very audible sobs of Mrs Anderson. Blaine left the house immediately, jumped into his car and drove with no particular destination. He drove and drove, until he couldn't anymore. Pulling into a random car park, he dropped his face onto the steering wheel and allowed his tears to take over.
Comments
why did you have to do this to me? :(
I'm sorry);
This was really good. I feel so bad for Blaine because nothing seems to be going right for him. First his boyfriend leaves him and then his mother acted like he didn't know what he was talking about when he confessed that he was gay. I can't wait to see what happens next and to see if Blaine will find the support and love that he needs.
It was? Awe thank you. I was a little unsure to be honest, but I'm glad you're excited to know what happens next. Thank you so much!!
well, mr anderson wants to think about blaine's revlation. that's good...at least it's something. because i honestly expected mr anderson's reaction to be the reaction that blaine's mom had. so, yeah, go mr anderson! i think i might like blaine's dad...