Their situation may be complicated, but they successfully avoid talking about it for the next few days as they go on casual dates and spend as much time together as possible. Both of them are trying to ignore the shadow hanging over them, even if Kurt finds himself counting the days anyway -- only four days left, only three days with Blaine, only two and a half days until I have to leave this all behind -- and he has the feeling that Blaine is probably doing the same. Kurt doesnt see Sophie and Devon that often, and he knows Blaine is doing it on purpose, protecting his kids from possible heartbreak.

But if their situation is complicated, at least the sex is easy.

Its the night before Kurt is scheduled to leave England, and the air in the small bedroom in the cottage is warm and comfortable around them. Blaine lets out one last tired moan and then rolls over on his back, trying to catch his breath. Kurt leans against his elbows and watches as Blaines chest heaves, droplets of sweat shining starkly against his skin in the bedrooms soft lighting. Kurt has noticed that Blaine is unfairly gorgeous all the time, but he looks especially beautiful in moments like these, when his face is unguarded, his eyes heavy-lidded and his lips curled in a small, satisfied smile, the curls on his temples breaking free from the gel. He looks so inviting, for the lack of a better word, like someone Kurt wouldnt mind waking up next to for the rest of his life.

And that thought scares him. A lot.

"You are amazing," Blaine gasps out, resting his hand on his chest as if hes manually trying to calm his heartbeat. "Amazing, honestly. That thing you did with your legs, I dont even--"

Kurt laughs, flopping down on the bed. "You, my kind sir, arent so bad either."

"Why thank you," Blaine says with a wry grin, turning his head to look at Kurt. Then he suddenly lets out a laugh, rolling to his side in one languid movement. "God, if Cooper ever finds out what weve done in his bed, hes going to kill me."

Kurt snorts.

"Well, at least Ill have happy memories to think about if it happens," Blaine continues. His sentence starts jokingly, but Kurt can hear his voice turning serious by the end of it. "Just memories," Blaine adds, quieter, his frown audible.

"This is such a mess," Kurt mutters, turning over on the bed so he can face Blaine. "What are we even doing, Blaine? Im leaving tomorrow."

"I am aware of that, thank you," Blaine comments. "But you know, long distance relationships do work out," he adds hopefully, his voice making it sound more like a question or a suggestion.

Kurt looks at him, and the small smile on Blaines face makes his insides twist and turn into knots because he knows that smile is going to fall away any time soon. "Do you come to New York often for work?"

Blaine hums, contemplating with his brows furrowed. "No, not really -- Frankfurts the place to be in my line of business. What about you to London?"

Kurt sighs. "Maybe once or twice a year to the London Fashion Week, if my boss thinks I should write an article about it. But its not a given." He twists the sheet between his hands. "Besides, its just... Lets be honest, Blaine, we would just be prolonging the inevitable."

Blaine freezes next to him, his shoulders tense. "What do you mean?" he asks warily.

"Well, just..." Kurt starts, staring at the ceiling because he cant stand to see Blaines face right now, cant stand to see the hurt in his eyes. "Imagine we do our best to make this happen, fly back and forth and all that. Eventually were going to hit a wall in any case -- you cant leave the kids for too long and I cant be away from work all the time, and what was once fun and exciting just turns into a miserable chore. Well start arguing and fighting, and then after a while we cant stand it anymore and say goodbye." He ignores the way Blaine flinches at the word and pushes on, "Youll bawl your eyes out and I wont because I cant--"

Blaine huffs. "Thats nice, thank you."

"-- and then thatll be it. Done and over for good." Kurt glances at Blaine carefully. His arms are crossed over his bare chest and he looks more closed-off than Kurt has ever seen him before. "Its not like were ever going to see each other again," he continues quietly. "Well just be two people left feeling miserable because they had yet another relationship that didnt last."

Blaine stays quiet, and Kurt reaches out a hand, resting it on Blaines arm. It hurts, being so close and knowing that he cant stay.

"So maybe we should just accept the inevitable," he goes on, trying to meet Blaines eyes. He feels like hes lying to himself and to Blaine as well, but he needs to figure his way out of this doomed mess. "Maybe we should realize that what weve had has been amazing and it probably wont get any better than this. Maybe theres nothing to figure out anymore."

Blaine gives a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "You are one seriously depressing person, Kurt."

"Not depressing," Kurt counters quietly and squeezes Blaines arm, "just a realist. Ive had to learn to be like this over the years."

Blaine finally meets his eyes, something unreadable in his gaze. "I think I have another scenario for you," he says, unsure. "You do?" Kurt asks, tilting his head.

"You-- You move me, Kurt," Blaine breathes out suddenly.

His voice is soft and hopeful and reverent, everything Kurt adores about him, and Kurt freezes, something clenching tightly around his heart, his hand stopping on Blaines arm.

"Im sorry for the blunt delivery," Blaine continues, a little unsure again, "but as problematic as this might be, you do move me and I... Im in love with you." He stares into Kurts eyes, more honest than ever before. "And its not just because it feels good to feel this way -- which it by the way does, or at least it did before you painted that depressing picture of our future. I cant figure out the hows or the whys or anything like that, I just know that I love you -- and wow, Im really saying it a lot right now, arent I?" He lets out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck before sobering and continuing again. "Its just that I... I never thought Id feel this way again, Kurt, so this is pretty amazing for me. And I know that I come with a package deal, three for the price of one, and..."

He hesitates, averting his eyes, and Kurt swallows roughly into the silence, his heart in his throat.

"And my package probably isnt all that wonderful in the light of day," Blaine admits sheepishly, "but I finally know what I want and how I could make my life better, and that in itself feels like a miracle." He takes a shuddering breath, his eyes shining as he meets Kurts gaze. "And what I want... is you, Kurt."

Kurt stares at him for a long while, his heart clenching and his throat suddenly feeling dry. What can he say to that? What could he possibly say when Blaine just bared his feelings, let it all out for Kurt to see, honest and loving and so, so vulnerable -- and Kurts plane back to New York leaves in less than twelve hours. What can he say when Blaine just revealed that this isnt something casual to him, something they can end with a few farewell kisses and kind words?

Kurt doesnt even know what this is to himself anymore.

"I wasnt expecting a love confession," he says quietly, pulling his hand away from Blaines arm. His mind is a mess, an even bigger mess than it was when this conversation started, and he has no idea what to do or say.

Blaines face falls at his words, the light disappearing from his eyes, and Kurt can feel his own heart cracking at the sight of it.

"Blaine, please dont look at me like that," he pleads, reaching out again, but Blaine dodges his hand. "Im just trying to find the right thing to say, thats all," he tries.

Blaine gives a small laugh, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I think that if the obvious response doesnt immediately come to you, we can just-- We should just talk about something else." He pushes himself up on his hands, putting some space between himself and Kurt, and Kurt follows the movement with his eyes, feeling a heavy pressure behind his eyelids. "Like for example what a complete idiot I am," Blaine mutters once hes sitting on the bed, still rubbing his hand over his face. "You did promise me that you wouldnt fall in love with me. Note to self: pay better attention."

His shoulders are hunched, curling in on himself, as if hes withdrawing from Kurt and from happiness as well. Kurt blinks quickly a few times, but the pressure behind his eyes doesnt go away, not until he extends his hand and strokes his fingers down Blaines back.

Theres only one thing he can think of doing right now.

He shifts closer to Blaine on the bed and moves his hands to cup his face, turning it around towards himself. Blaine looks at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and Kurt does his best to turn his lips into a comforting smile.

"Ive never met anyone who pays as much attention as you do, Blaine," he says softly. "But just for now, the only thing you have to pay attention to... is this."

He leans in and kisses Blaines lips, pulling him back down on the bed. Blaine goes willingly, closing his eyes and clinging to Kurts body, and Kurt tries to ignore how tightly he himself holds on to Blaine as well.

Sex is easy, and its also all they can do for now.

---

The last hours pass too quickly, and before Kurt realizes it hes already handing his luggage to the taxi driver and then turning around at the cottage door to look at Blaine. Blaine has his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched against the cold wind that keeps ruffling his ungelled hair, and Kurt is itching to reach out for him, to hold him close and keep him warm and never let go. He has no idea what this thing hes feeling is, but he knows its something strong.

"Dont worry, Ill change the sheets before Cooper gets back," Blaine jokes feebly, rocking on his heels. He has refused to meet Kurts eyes ever since they woke up, and its making Kurts heart ache worse than ever before.

"Hey," Kurt tries, giving in and reaching out to stroke his hand down Blaines arm. "Ill call you, okay? And well e-mail, wont we?"

Blaine nods, still not meeting Kurts eyes. "Sure," he agrees, but he doesnt sound too convinced.

Not that Kurt blames him. After all, he was the one who painted the rather unhappy picture of their future just last night, whereas Blaine was the one who confessed his feelings and then completely shut off when Kurt didnt know what to say in reply. God, this is such a mess. If Kurt could just figure out what hes feeling, if he could just take his emotions and line them up neatly in front of himself and make sense of them, hes sure that he would know the right thing to say. But apparently Kurts life has been destined to be a complicated mess.

"Okay," he says quietly, squeezing Blaines arm. He can hear the taxi driver getting impatient behind him, and he knows he has to leave now if he wants to make it to the airport on time.

Why on earth is this so difficult?

"Im going to kiss you now," he continues, "and then Ill just say... be seeing you." He has learned from the last time that saying goodbye to Blaine just feels wrong, and he refuses to say those words again.

Blaine finally lifts his head, looking Kurt in the eye. He looks like hes seconds away from crying, his eyes shining and wobbly, and when Kurt leans in slowly and brings their lips together he can feel Blaine trembling against him. His lips are dry and chilly from the cold weather, and Kurt drags the kiss out for as long as he can, until the taxi driver coughs behind him and they have to break apart.

He squeezes Blaines arm one last time and then steps back, giving a weak smile. "Ill be seeing you," he says.

Blaine swallows roughly but returns the smile a bit shakily. He doesnt say anything, just nods and lifts his hand in small wave as Kurt walks backwards to the taxi, pulls the door open and stumbles inside. Kurt doesnt take his eyes off of Blaine, not even when he closes the door behind himself and presses his hand against the cool car window, his heart beating erratically in his chest. The pressure behind his eyes is back again, and he feels uncomfortable, his skin too tight and his insides twisting and turning.

"Ready to go, sir?" the taxi driver asks.

Kurt watches as Blaine lowers his hand and offers Kurt one last sad smile.

"Sure," he answers.

The car gives a lurch and moves forwards. Kurt tries to keep his eyes on Blaine for as long as he can, but before too long the taxi takes a turn and the cottage disappears behind a low hill. Kurt forces himself to turn away and slumps against the backseat, something painful clenching around his chest.

"Did you have a good holiday, sir?" the taxi driver asks politely, glancing at Kurt through the rear-view mirror.

Kurt nods. "I did," he says quietly, rubbing his hand over his chest. "Probably the best Ive ever had."

"Thats nice then," the driver replies cheerily, focusing on driving again.

Kurts skin is itching, the pressure behind his eyes feeling heavier and heavier by the second. He huffs in annoyance and rubs his hand over his eyes, shifting on the seat. His chest feels tight, like theres something lodged right at the bottom of his throat, and when he tries to swallow against it, it just feels worse.

Its as if he cant get enough air in his lungs, like theres something stuck in the way, and the pressure behind his eyes keeps building until Kurt has no choice but to blink his eyes quickly and tilt his head back, hoping that whatever is going on will go away if he just tries to calm down and take a few deep breaths.

"Sir?" the driver asks, his voice confused.

Something is blurring Kurts eyes, and when he tries to take a breath it sounds shaky and shuddering even to his own ears. He lifts his head again, gasping for air, his chest clenching and his eyes itching, and --

Something wet falls down his cheek.

Kurt freezes, lifting his hand to his face. More wetness runs from his eyes, spilling over and pouring down his cheeks, and suddenly he lets out a sob, brushing his hand over the tears.

Tears. Hes crying.

Kurt lets out a wet laugh, wiping his face with the sleeve of his coat. His chest hasnt ached like this in over two decades, not since he lost his mom and decided that he had to be strong to keep going. The tears are flowing steadily out of his eyes by now, faster than Kurt can wipe them away, and his breathing is shaky, something tight wrapped around his whole upper body from the force of his tears.

Hes crying for the first time since his childhood, and its all because hes leaving Blaine behind.

Kurt laughs again, and it sounds more like a sob. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so incredibly blind? Blaine is everything hes been looking for since he was young and still believed that love conquers all; Blaine is the first person who makes his inner hopeless romantic lift its head and practically bloom. Blaine is kind and gentle and earnest and endearingly bashful, and he makes Kurt feel more, makes his heart beat faster or skip a few beats from pure happiness, makes him smile and laugh and confess things hes never told to anyone before, makes him feel like who he is and what he has to offer is for once in his life more than enough.

He feels like home when hes with Blaine, and leaving him behind is like leaving his home for good, like all the tears he has pushed away during the years are finally breaking free.

He... He loves Blaine.

"Turn the car around," he gasps out abruptly.

"Excuse me?" the driver asks.

"Turn the car around," Kurt repeats, wiping the tears away and probably smiling like a lunatic. He finally knows what he wants, and he has to go get it right now.

"I cant turn the car around, sir," the driver says confusedly, "the roads too narrow here."

"Fine, then at least stop it," Kurt snaps. "Stop the car!"

The car screeches to a halt right there in the middle of snowy English fields, and before the driver gets the chance to say anything Kurt has opened the door and is stumbling out. He gives his surroundings a quick glance -- theyre not that far from the cottage, not yet, since the roads are so slippery and the taxi had to drive carefully -- and feels an excited smile spreading over his face.

And then, he starts running.

"Sir?" the driver calls after him, but Kurt doesnt listen.

He hasnt run like this in years, not since he ran away from bullies in middle school, but this time hes not running away from something -- hes running towards someone. His shoes slips and slide on the ice but somehow he doesnt fall. The snowy fields and lone trees rush past him, the wind cold against his smiling face, and Kurt runs forward, his feet hitting the road in an even rhythm.

Theres the low hill he passed earlier, the hedge that surrounds Coopers lands, and before Kurt knows it he sees the cottage. He skids to a stop right in front of it, almost falling down when the sole of his shoe slides over a patch of ice. He stumbles forward, pulling the cottage door open in one movement and running inside.

"Blaine?" he calls out, still smiling. "Blaine!"

He hears a noise from the kitchen and rushes towards it, only stopping when he sees Blaine leaning against the kitchen counter. Blaines face is blotchy with tears, his breathing shaky like he has been crying ever since Kurt left, and his eyes are still wet and shining.

"K-Kurt?" he stutters out, wiping his hand over his eyes and sniffling. "W-what are you--"

"I was just thinking," Kurt interrupts, trying to catch his breath after his sudden sprint, "why would I ever leave before New Years Eve? I mean, I still have vacation days left. That makes no sense at all."

Blaine sniffles again, blinking his eyes rapidly as he stares at Kurt in confusion.

"I know you didnt exactly ask me out," Kurt continues, taking a hesitant step closer and softening his voice, "but you did say you love me. So I probably have a date. I mean, if youll have me."

Blaine lets out a choked-off laugh. "I have the kids on New Years Eve," he points out.

Kurt smiles. "Sounds perfect."

"Kurt..." Blaine shakes his head, wiping his tears away again.

Kurt quickly closes the distance between them and frames Blaines face with his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes. "Blaine," he starts, trying to keep his voice from shaking, "there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh, there you are -- Ive been looking for you forever." He smiles softly. "You are that moment for me. And Im not letting go of you ever again."

Blaine blinks, a few tears falling down his cheeks again. "What do you--"

"I love you," Kurt interrupts. "I love you too. Im sorry it took me so long to say it back."

Blaines face breaks into an overwhelmed smile and he starts crying in earnest, pulling Kurt closer and burying his face in his shoulder. Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine, clinging to him and pressing a kiss on the curve of his neck. The tightness around his chest eases up, and he feels warm and safe in Blaines arms, even if there are tears streaming down his face again, falling into Blaines hair -- but theyre good tears this time, caused by happiness and love.

Hes home.

---

Epilogue.

Sometimes things just fall into place, even in Kurt Hummels life.

Its the day after New Years, and Kurt is desperately trying to figure out how he can keep both Blaine and his job, when his boss calls him, casually asking him how his holiday has been.

"Its been... amazing, Isabelle," Kurt answers and watches with a fond smile from the kitchen doorway as Blaine sings along to the radio with Devon and Sophie while they make brunch from leftovers. Sophie is wearing the dress that Kurt bought her, and Devon keeps asking Blaine what the lyrics of Auld Lang Syne mean.

And Blaine...

Blaine is looking happier than Kurt has ever seen him before. Hes practically glowing with happiness, and it makes Kurts heart skip a beat, just like it always does. "So youve enjoyed England then?" his boss asks.

"I have," Kurt says, stifling a laugh and ducking into the next room when Devon starts singing louder and quite off-key. "I really have."

"I see. Thats good, then." Isabelle coughs over the phone, hesitating for a moment. "How would you like to move there, Kurt?" she asks abruptly.

Kurt stops, almost dropping the phone in surprise. "What?"

"We have a position coming up in our London office," Isabelle explains. "It has more responsibility than your current job, but the pay is better as well, and it would be right up your alley. And I do mean right up your alley, Kurt." She keeps going, probably interpreting Kurts stunned silence as hesitance. "I know this is a little unexpected and sudden, and London is quite far away, but when I found out about the position I immediately thought of you, and--"

"Wait," Kurt interrupts, clutching the phone in his hand. "Are you telling me that I could work in London? That theres basically a job waiting for me right here?"

"Well, yes," Isabelle says. "If you want the job, I mean. I can e-mail you the details..."

"I want it," Kurt rushes to say. He can hear Blaine laughing in the kitchen, joyous and amused, and god, Kurt can really have this. He can stay here with Blaine and keep his job at Vogue Dot Com, he can have a house that doesnt feel empty and see how Sophie and Devon grow up.

For once in his life, he doesnt have to give anything up.

"That job is mine, Isabelle," he says decisively into the phone. "Dont you dare offer it to anyone else."

"Okay?" Isabelle laughs, surprised. "England really made an impression on you then, huh?"

Kurt leans against the wall and smiles to himself when the radio in the kitchen starts playing Aretha Franklins You Send Me. Blaine peeks his head into the room, shimmying his shoulders in time with the music. His mouths turns into a grin when he sees Kurt.

"Brunch is ready when you are," he whispers in sing-song and blows Kurt a kiss. Kurt catches it, and Blaine laughs as he ducks back into the kitchen.

"Yeah," Kurt says into the phone, his smile widening. "It made a lasting impression."

At first I thought it was infatuation
Oh, it lasted so long, so long
Now I find myself wanting
I want you to marry me
Please take me home...

The End.