Blaine wakes up slowly that morning. He feels like hes slept better than he has in weeks, his brain clearer and the fog of sleep leaving him with a gentle caress, not screaming and kicking like it usually does. His cheek is pressed against something soft and warm, and he takes a deep breath, slowly wiggling his bare toes closer to the warmth of the blanket over him. His pillow smells familiar, like a comforting embrace after a long day at work, and Blaine turns his head to hide a smile in its softness, nuzzling the fabric that feels-

A lot more like an old, worn-out t-shirt than an actual pillow case.

Blaine blinks his eyes open. The sunlight is streaming in through the curtains, turning the whole apartment yellow and orange, and somewhere above his head Kurt lets out a sleepy hum. A warm hand strokes slowly over Blaines back, rucking up his shirt, and then the chest hes resting his head on shifts slightly, rising and falling with calm breaths. Blaines arm is wrapped around Kurts waist, one of his knees slotted between Kurts legs - and yep, that is his morning erection pressed against Kurts thigh.

Blaine takes another breath, letting the comforting scent of sleep and Kurt and warmth fill his senses for another moment before he slowly disentangles himself from Kurt, moving his limbs carefully so he doesnt wake him. Kurt tightens his hold on Blaines back for a moment but then lets go with a soft sigh, turning on his side and making a mumbling, questioning sound in his sleep.

When they went to sleep they were lying on their own sides of the sofa bed, plenty of room between them. Kurt had reached out a hand and Blaine had taken it, sleepily tangling their fingers together in the empty space between their bodies - but obviously during the night Blaines body had shifted closer and closer until they ended up like this. Blaines always been a cuddler, everyone hes ever slept with has told him that, but hes never really cuddled someone this intensely on their first night together. Not that he minds.

Blaine sits up carefully on the bed and pushes a hand through his hair, staring at Kurts sleeping form. Kurt isnt exactly snoring, but he does snuffle a little, fingers wrapped around one corner of the blanket and a small, content smile playing on his lips. His hair is flopping over his forehead at the front and pointing in every other direction at the back, and he has pillow marks on his cheek.

Blaine smiles, lowering his hand back to his lap. Kurt is especially beautiful in the mornings. He looks so young like this, not at all like a magical prince, but more like an ordinary man who is still somehow extraordinary in his own way. He doesnt look as intimidating, as distant and unattainable as he used to look like in Blaines eyes. He looks more familiar, more like... home, something Blaine can hold on to. An anchor against the unsteady winds.

He never knew he could feel like this.

Blaine bends down to place a small kiss on Kurts hair and then slides off the bed, shivering when his feet hit the cold floor. He adjusts his pants, the awkward problem caused by the warm body lying next to him already wilting away. When he passes the window for the fire escape on his way to the kitchen he sees a pigeon sitting on the railing, and pauses for a moment. He watches as the bird  flutters its wings and scratches its feathers with its beak, as if its just casually doing its morning routine and enjoying the sunshine. Blaine smiles again.

He finds his phone on the kitchen counter, and as he turns the coffee machine on he notices that he has a new message.

From Tina:
I saw on Facebook that your parents were in town! I hope you said hi to them from me!

Blaine will never understand why Tina is friends with his parents on Facebook. Never. He sighs and starts to type a reply, but somehow his fingers end up tapping a completely different message instead.

From Blaine:
I kissed Kurt

He stares at the words on the screen, his thumb hovering over the send button. After a moments hesitation he erases them instead and places his phone back on the counter, deciding to call Tina later. He doesnt want to share this one with her, not yet. Sharing it with his parents this soon was weird enough as it is, and sometimes it feels like everything he feels for Kurt is happening too fast, even though he logically knows that whats actually happened has been rather gradual. Especially when he remembers that Kurt is from a place where its completely normal and acceptable to get married the day after your first date.

To Kurt their pace must feel glacial, but Blaine just isnt used to his boyfriend meeting his parents after a week of dating. Hes not used to his boyfriend meeting his parents, period.

The coffee machine gurgles when it finishes, and Blaine pours himself a cup, adding a little less sugar than he usually would. He wants to taste the bitterness this morning, to remind himself that this is real. He pads out of the kitchen again, glancing at Kurts sleeping form on the sofa bed, and then pushes the window open and steps through it onto the fire escape. The pigeon from earlier has flown away already, and the steam from his coffee seems to become tenser and whiter when the chilly morning air hits it.

Blaine leans against the railing and wraps his fingers around his mug, his thoughts wandering back to last night. His parents reaction to Kurt and Kurts reaction to them, the pleasant dinner, his dads words - and then kissing Kurt, multiple times even, his heart skipping a few beats and his whole body shivering with emotion every time their lips met. It should all feel like too much, like hes heading towards another heartbreak, but it just... doesnt. Its almost strange how calm he feels instead. The things Kurt makes him feel - this urge to be as close to him as possible, to take him out for dates, to even woo him with serenades and other displays of his affection - are also the things he has desperately tried not to feel for a long time, because he knew, or thought he knew, that they would only lead to heartbreak and to that cold, dreary day when he would have to wake up in the real world again. Alone.

The point is to try anyway, and learn as you go along.

He can hear faint noises from the apartment, so he just closes his eyes against the morning sunlight, breathing in the scent of strong coffee and New York City. A few moments later there are soft footsteps and then the creak of the fire escape as someone else steps on it. Long, strong arms wrap around his waist from behind, and he can feel a nose nuzzling the curve of his neck. Its such a small gesture, but it still makes him feel like he could fly.

"You werent there when I woke up," Kurt mumbles. He yawns against the nape of Blaines neck. "How long have you been up?"

Blaine blinks his eyes open, leaning against Kurts solid body. "Not that long. Theres coffee in the kitchen," he adds.

"Ohhh, you are the best," Kurt moans, the sound making warm sparks run down Blaines body. "I cant even understand why Im so addicted to that drink. But I just am. We dont have anything like it in Kingleysia."

Blaine just hums in response. He turns around in Kurts warm embrace until theyre face to face, and then he leans in to place a kiss on Kurts lips. Kurt accepts it easily, his fingers curling closer to the small of Blaines back, to the vulnerable skin there that not too many people have gotten the permission to touch. When Blaine leans away again theres a soft smile on Kurts face, as if hes still pleasantly surprised by every single kiss he gets.

"What are you doing out here?" Kurt asks, still smiling. "Rehearsing your whistling skills so you can have a competition with the birds?" he jokes.

Blaine smiles and shrugs. "Just thinking."

"What about?"

"How much you terrify me," Blaine replies.

Kurts eyes widen, his arms stilling around Blaines body. "B-but you said I dont-"

"Its a good thing," Blaine interrupts him. "You terrify me in a good way. In the best possible way. The way birds must feel before they fly for the first time." He glances at the sky, squinting towards the light. "I think Ive been playing it safe for far too long."

Kurt looks at him for a long moment, searching his face with his brows furrowed. "Youre an odd one, Blaine Anderson," he says slowly, considering. "I keep thinking that Ive figured you out, but then you go and surprise me all over again."

"I could say the same about you," Blaine counters. He reaches out to place his coffee mug on one of the stairs and then folds his own arms around Kurts neck, pulling him closer. "Always zigging when I think youre about to zag," he teases.

Kurt lets out a surprised laugh at that, swaying their bodies back and forth. "Thats a new one. Havent heard that expression before."

Blaine tightens his hold on Kurt and closes his eyes. He wants to try. Kurt makes him want to try, to trust that he wont fall and break his heart again. To give in and accept those parts of himself that hes pushed away for so long.

Kurt feels so warm and welcome against him, and for a moment he aches to trail his hands lower, kiss his lips down Kurts (long, beautiful) neck, lower and lower, until he gets the chance to explore and worship those parts of Kurts body that are usually hidden underneath layers and layers of clothes. Hes seen the way Kurt looks at him, the heat and want in his gaze, but he also knows that with the way Kingleysia is Kurt probably doesnt have much experience, and he doesnt want to push him. He doesnt want to do anything that could make Kurt uncomfortable.

So he just kisses Kurts neck, just once, enjoying the way Kurts breathing hitches in response. "Thank you," he says softly against his skin.

Kurts hands move up and down his back, slow and sure, comforting even if Blaine doesnt need to be comforted right now. "You keep thanking me, even though you dont have to," Kurt says, his voice contemplative. "Even though Im not even sure what youre thanking me for."

"Maybe Im just thanking you for yelling at a sign for an Indian restaurant." Blaine is only half-joking - because when he thinks about it seriously, he really is grateful for that rainy night when Nathan stood him up - but Kurt still snorts out a laugh.

"In my defense," he says haughtily, "I was scared and that sign was shining the same way some magical objects in Kingleysia shine. It was an understandable mistake." His hands dip lower on Blaines back, slowly sliding over the waistband of his pajama pants. "But if you really want to thank me for it, youre welcome."

He tilts his head a little, and this time its Kurt who kisses Blaine, pressing their lips together with a pleased hum. Its hard for Blaine to believe that yesterday really was Kurts first kiss when he kisses him like this, making Blaines stomach flip and his legs feel weak. There is a certain tentativeness in Kurts kiss, like hes exploring the sensations and figuring out what to do, carefully moving his lips against Blaines. But theres also a sense of determination, of excitement, in the way that he pushes closer, makes small, breathy noises in the back of his mouth, and nips at Blaines lower lip.

Blaine lets Kurt control the kiss, just enjoying the slip and slide of their mouths, not even caring that theyre standing on the fire escape in plain view. Kurts hands move even lower, the light touch of his fingertips trailing down and down until they reach Blaines ass and settle there, pressing a little closer. The touch shoots a warm jolt of pleasure through Blaines body, and he gasps, breaking the kiss and blinking his eyes open.

"Breakfast?" he manages to get out, and wow, when did his voice get this wrecked and his breathing this heavy?

Kurts hands dance their way up, back to Blaines sides, and he grins, something heated still shimmering behind his eyes. "Sure," he says. "Im in the mood for some pancakes."

Blaine laughs and slowly moves himself away from Kurts embrace, even though he doesnt necessarily want to move. His stomach is starting to growl, though, and his coffee must be cold already. "Pancakes it is."

---

He gets the idea when hes at work, quietly tuning his guitar and watching as Kurt tells a story about dragons and magic to the kids sitting around them in a circle. Kurt has become a regular visitor in these particular sessions, singing along to the songs Blaine comes up with and letting the younger kids climb onto his lap if they start to feel tired. Even the really shy ones have relaxed around him by now, and theres always a chorus of excited cheers when Kurt steps into the room. The children never seem to get tired of his stories and his prince costume.

Because somehow thats what the clothes have started to look like more and more recently: like a costume. The tights and the tunic are still impeccable, they still fit Kurt perfectly, and its obvious that no one else has noticed anything different about them - but somehow, to Blaine, the Kingleysian clothes arent an essential part of who Kurt is anymore. He doesnt wear them that often, mostly just when hes attending one of Blaines sessions, and even though he still looks like a handsome Disney prince, he doesnt look like he was meant to wear those clothes.

Somehow Kurt looks a lot more like himself when hes wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a patterned shirt, with a scarf around his neck instead of a cape.

Even his hair looks different: the traces of magic that were keeping it impeccable during his first weeks in New York havent come back, and Kurt has learned to rely on hairspray without complaints. One morning he even told Blaine that he likes it, likes styling his hair just the way he wants it and not just waking up every morning with the same - admittedly nice - hairdo.

They are all subtle changes, most likely invisible to everyone else except Blaine, but they are there. Theyre in the way Kurt carries himself, still regal and with his head held up high, but looking more comfortable in his own skin, less like hes just trying to keep up appearances and fit to some mold of what everyone else expects him to be. He gestures more with his hands, with his whole body even, not trying to keep every single movement he makes so contained and determined. He even stumbles and fumbles sometimes, blushing and then laughing at himself, not so worried about being perfect all the time anymore.

Its fascinating. Blaine could spend hours and hours just watching the way Kurt moves and talks and breathes, and sometimes during these lessons he gets lost in it for a moment, everything else blurring out and disappearing from his senses.

He is kind of doing it right now.

Blaine blinks, shakes his head and then goes back to tuning his guitar, smiling down at it when one of the older girls asks Kurt if hes ever slain a dragon like all the princes in the fairytales she has read.

"Oh no, of course I havent," Kurt answers, shaking his head vehemently. "They dont actually kidnap people, you know - most of them are more like nannies, or private tutors, and many kings and queens like to ask for their help."

"Whats a tutor?" one of the younger boys whispers.

"A teacher," Blaine replies instinctively, butting in. Kurt lifts his head and looks at him, a small grin on his face. "Sorry, go on," Blaine adds, feeling his own cheeks turning warm.

"There are some dragons who can be dangerous," Kurt continues, "but they always have a reason for it. My hometown had a big dragon problem when I was around your age. They destroyed many buildings and fields near the outskirts of the city, but after a few weeks it came to my fathers attention that one of the farmers had actually found a dragon egg in his field and kept it for himself, the idiot. So no wonder the dragons were angry."

"They were trying to protect their baby!" one of the girls exclaims, her eyes wide with wonder. "Mr. Kurt, please tell me that you gave the egg back to them!"

"We did, of course..."

Blaine tunes out of the conversation again, staring at Kurt. Hes been so amazing, with everything. Theyve slept together on the sofa bed almost every night after that first time, waking up with their limbs tangled up together, and Blaine cant remember the last time hes felt this content and safe around someone. Theyve been dating for a few weeks now, and it has been so different from all the other boyfriends Blaine has had, in some strange way - deeper and more meaningful, but still more careful as well, both of them handling each other with tenderness and care, even though sometimes Blaine just wants to rip off Kurts clothes and touch every part of him. But he doesnt want to rush this, rush Kurt, and they have only been dating for...

Blaine blinks again, his fingers stilling against the guitars strings. They havent actually been on a date yet, though. Theyve gone out, had lunch in tiny coffee shops and wandered around the streets looking for interesting shops and taking in the sights, all of which could be seen as dates, but they havent... They already did all of those things when they were just friends. Kurt does those things with Tina as well, and so does Blaine. Its not the same thing.

None of their outings have had the intention of being a date behind them.

Blaine lowers his guitar a little, wetting his lips. Its been such a long time since hes asked anyone out on a date. Or even had a date - felt the nervous pre-date jitters in his stomach and planned what they could do and where to go, daydreamed about the possible goodnight kiss after a successful date. After Connor his love life was completely non-existent for such a long time, and Nathan never called any of their plans dates. They just went to have dinner or lunch or breakfast, and that was it. Blaine himself always tried to call them dates, at least inside his head and especially when he was talking to his friends, but... With Nathan so studiously not using the word, something always felt a bit fake about it.

But Kurt-

Kurt has probably never even been on a date. He was so confused by the whole concept when Blaine first brought it up, and everything Blaine has learned about Kingleysia makes it sound like a place where dating doesnt even exist, because its just not necessary. But dates can be so amazing, if done well and with care. Blaine used to love planning dates when he was with Connor. He was good at it, even, if he dares to say so himself, after everything that went wrong.

Kurt is laughing at something one of the kids has said, his head thrown back and his shoulders shaking, his eyes shining with happiness and ease. Blaine swallows, his heart skipping a beat inside his chest.

Kurt deserves a date. He deserves all the dates Blaine has to offer.

"Oh goodness, I think its time for another song, dont you?" Kurt is saying to the kids, clapping his hands together. He turns his head to look at Blaine, his mouth still turned up in a smile. "What do you think, Mr. Blaine?"

Blaine blinks his eyes yet again, finally noticing that Kurt and all the children are staring at him, waiting for him to continue. Kurt tilts his head, a concerned look crossing over his face.

"Blaine? Everything okay?" he asks, gently nudging the little girl in his lap so that she will move back to the floor.

"Y-yeah," Blaine breathes out and shakes his head, "yeah, sorry, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment." He takes a deep breath and straightens his back. "How about a song about dragons, now that weve heard from Mr. Kurt what theyre really like?"

The kids cheer, scrambling to get closer to Blaine and his guitar again. For the rest of the session Blaine can feel Kurts eyes on him, curious and considering.

---

He manages to get two tickets to Wicked, thanks to Tinas connections in New Yorks theater world. She only coos and giggles after forcing him to tell her why he needs them, as if she knew this was going to happen all along.

Its a little unnerving.

A musical seemed like the obvious choice - theyve been slowly going through Blaines movie collection ever since the beginning of their friendship, and Kurt always has the most intense reaction to movie musicals. With every musical theyve watched Kurt has ended up sitting at the edge of his seat, leaning closer and closer to the television screen, sometimes with silent tears streaming down his face; clutching Blaines arm or hand so tightly that its a wonder there arent any bruises there the next day. And Wicked... Well, somehow that particular musical just screams Kurt to Blaine.

He makes a reservation for two at his favorite Italian restaurant after that, the one he hasnt taken Kurt to yet because its a bit more expensive and he cant afford to go there too often. But for a date, especially for a first date, hes willing to splurge. Besides, Kurt loves Italian food and gets an excited glint in his eyes whenever Blaine makes lasagna or pizza for dinner - and this restaurant happens to serve the best fettuccine alfredo Blaine has ever tasted.

He wants everything to be a surprise, so he just asks Kurt if he would like to go out next Friday, and Kurt eagerly agrees, only demanding to know what the dress code is. It all goes surprisingly smoothly, and when its finally Friday and they leave for the theater, hailing a cab outside the apartment, Blaine half-expects something to go spectacularly wrong.

There will probably be a fire at the theater. Or one of them will choke on a piece of pasta at the restaurant. Things just dont go this easy in Blaines life.

"Where are we going?" Kurt asks once theyre sitting in the cab. Hes wearing dark jeans and a fitting, dark gray jacket he found on one of his outings with Tina, the color making his eyes look even more blue than usually. His hair is swept up, defying gravity - and isnt that a fitting description considering the musical theyre going to see?

"Its a surprise," Blaine answers, rubbing his hands over his thighs and barely glancing at the city lights theyre passing.

Hes nervous. He was fine an hour ago when they were getting dressed and laughing at the way they both tried to fit into the tiny bathroom at the same time, the air in the apartment smelling like a combination of hairspray and hair gel, Kurt giggling and pressing a quick kiss on his cheek. He was perfectly fine even when he was planning this whole date, but now hes suddenly nervous, his palms sweating and leg bouncing, heart thumping against his chest in a rhythm thats too quick to be healthy.

Kurt turns around from where hes been looking out of the window, narrowing his eyes at Blaine. "Whats wrong? This is only my second time inside these yellow carriage things, so I should be the one looking that nervous, not you."

Blaine takes a deep breath and forces his knee to stay still. He can do this. Hes been on dates before and hes always felt comfortable around Kurt. They will be fine.

"Im fine. Its fine," he breathes out. He reaches out across the backseat and takes Kurts hand, squeezing it. "Are you okay? Not feeling claustrophobic or anything?"

Kurt snorts, bumping Blaines shoulder with his own. "Dont worry about me." He glances at the driver and then smiles at Blaine. "Im actually enjoying this ride. Much more pleasant than riding a horse. Less bumpy."

"You can ride a horse?" Blaine asks.

Kurt shrugs. "Of course I can. Comes with the title." He peers out of the car window again. "Where are we going? I dont think Ive been in this part of the city before."

"Not with me at least. You havent been here with Tina?"

"No, she usually just takes me to thrift stores and to buy fabrics, we havent-" Kurt freezes in the middle of his sentence. "Wait. Hold on." He turns slowly to face Blaine again. "Why would Tina take me here? Are we- Oh my god!"

He gasps, eyes widening, and takes Blaines hand between his own, clutching it tightly.

"Surprise?" Blaine says, smiling nervously.

"Are we going to a theater?" Kurt squeaks, bouncing on his seat and swinging Blaines hand through the air. "Were going to see a play, arent we? Oh my god, Blaine!"

Blaine laughs, tilting forward to peck Kurts lips. "We are," he answers when he leans back again. "I thought you might like that."

"Oh my god, I cant believe this!" Kurt gushes, shifting restlessly and now peering out of the window with more enthusiasm. "The stories you and Tina have told me are so amazing, and I just cant- We have plays as well, of course, but nothing like the musicals weve watched and I always thought that seeing one in a theater must be such an experience..." He turns to face Blaine again and slaps his arm. "I cant believe you didnt tell me about this sooner! Oh, god, please tell me Im dressed appropriately."

"You are. And you look cute when you get all rambly and excited," Blaine says. He is rewarded with another slap on his arm, but he can see the light blush on Kurts cheeks and the smile hes trying to hide.

"What are we going to see?" Kurt asks. "Is it something Ive seen as a movie?"

Blaine shakes his head. "No, this one hasnt been turned into a movie yet. But I think youll like it. I mean, I hope youll enjoy it."

Kurt grins, toothy and wide, the way he doesnt usually smile around other people. "Are you kidding me? Im already enjoying this more than Ive enjoyed anything ever before, and were not even there yet!"

When they get to their destination, Kurt cant seem to stay still, and Blaine gets swept up in his excitement as well. He loves musicals himself, even entertained the idea of applying to Tisch once upon a time, but being with Kurt makes the whole experience even more special. Kurt keeps staring at everything with wide eyes, from the building and the marquee to the other members of the audience and the architecture inside the theater. He holds on to Blaine hand a little too tightly, almost blocking his circulation, and turns to look at him every few seconds as if to say, "did you see that?" He cant seem to stop bouncing even when theyre finally seated.

"I cant believe Im actually here!" he whispers to Blaine, practically vibrating out of his seat and nearly crumpling the playbill he has in his hands. He looks at the stage and squeals. "Blaine! Im just so- Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He leans in to hug Blaine over the armrest, laughing into his ear. Blaine closes his eyes for a moment and just breathes in, the nerves from earlier finally dissipating. Hed almost forgotten how amazing it feels to make someone this happy.

During the play Kurts eyes never move away from the stage, his mouth dropped open in awe the entire time. Blaine keeps staring at Kurt, the way his whole face is shining with wonder and amazement, the way silent tears start rolling down his cheeks during Defying Gravity. He continues holding on to Kurts hand, even if his fingers are a bit numb already. He still remembers the way he felt when he got to see an actual Broadway show for the first time, and he can recognize the same emotions on Kurts face.

He keeps thinking that Kurt cant get any more beautiful than he already is, that its just impossible - but then something like this happens, and it takes his breath away. Kurt does. How hes so completely focused on the play, on the journey the characters go through, gasping and laughing and crying, looking devastated during the sad scenes and completely joyous during the happy ones. Blaine doesnt think hes ever seen so many different expressions cross Kurts face in such a short amount of time, and he ends up ignoring most of the play himself, just to see the way Kurt reacts to everything. He thinks its worth it. Besides, hes already seen Wicked himself. What he hasnt seen before is this side of Kurt. Not with this much enthusiasm.

When they leave the theater hours later, after giving the performance the standing ovation it deserves, Kurt is still holding Blaines hand, blinking his eyes slowly as if hes coming out of a trance. Hes been quiet ever since the curtain call, lost in his thoughts in a way he wasnt during the play itself. Blaine pulls him away from the bustling crowd and ducks his head to see Kurts eyes.

"Kurt?" he asks gently, getting a little worried. "Are you okay? Youre shivering."

Kurt shakes his head, a tear falling down his cheek all of a sudden. His eyes are staring into the distance over Blaines left shoulder. "I never... I never knew something like this even existed," he breathes out.

Blaine places his hands on Kurts arms and moves them up and down, slowly and carefully. "You didnt?" he prompts, not really understanding what Kurt means.

Kurt shakes his head. "N-no. I just... Kingleysia is great, dont get me wrong, I love that place because I grew up in it and because my family lives there, but its..." He chokes out a wet laugh. "Its not exactly an easy place for someone whos different. Someone like Elphaba." He shrugs his shoulders. "Someone like me."

Blaine swallows roughly, his hands stilling. He doesnt know what to say. He still remembers the miserable years he spent in Ohio, never feeling like he fit in until he went to Dalton and found the Warblers - and even then he could tell that even though they all accepted him, none of them really knew what he was going through.

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest, still not meeting Blaines eyes. "So many people in Kingleysia just wouldnt understand. Theyd never understand."

"Maybe they could understand, Kurt," Blaine tries. "Prejudice is just ignorance. People can change."

Kurt shrugs. "Maybe they could for someone else. But not for their prince. N-not for me. They all just want me to marry a pretty princess and rule the country with her, be a king, but I cant-"

He shakes his head again, looking away, blinking his eyes too fast. Blaine immediately moves closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt and holding him tightly. There are still people coming out of the theater, talking and laughing loudly just a few feet from them, but he doesnt care, not when Kurt looks like this.

"Im so sorry, Kurt," he says, knowing well that its not enough. He cant change the way Kingleysian people think. But maybe his embrace can say the things he doesnt know how to say out loud.

"I can be myself here," Kurt goes on, his voice breaking. He clings to Blaine, his fingers digging into Blaines back like he never wants to let go. "Here, in New York. I can sketch clothes and wear whatever I want and style my hair the way I want it to. I can think about myself, about my dreams, and not just about the kingdom and what it needs. I can-" He sniffles, letting out a shuddery breath against Blaines shoulder. "I can love whoever I want. I dont have to be afraid."

Love. The word should make Blaine freeze, but it doesnt. He closes his eyes, thinking of his first months in New York, what it was like for him to finally get out and have the chance to be himself. Thinks about his life now, how much he has sacrificed to keep his heart safe. He and Kurt are both afraid, have been for a long time, and somehow that makes him feel so much closer to Kurt, if thats even possible anymore.

"It feels like you can finally breathe," he says quietly, "doesnt it?"

Kurt leans away in surprise, staring at his face. "Yeah," he breathes out. "It feels like I can finally breathe." He looks like he cant quite believe someone understands it. "Like I can finally break free and-" He giggles all of a sudden, breathless and wet. "Like Im defying gravity?" he says with a lilt in his voice.

Blaine lets out a laugh. "I guess I made the right choice then." Then he sobers, searching Kurts face. "Or did I? I didnt want to upset you, I just thought-"

Kurt immediately shakes his head with a smile, lifting one of his hands to wipe away the tears on his cheeks. "No, no, you made the perfect choice. That was amazing, Blaine. The story and the music and the costumes. Everything."  He looks towards the thinning crowd near the entrance and smiles. "It just made me think how lucky I was to come here." He turns to look at Blaine. "How lucky I was to find you."

Blaine ducks his head, playing with the lapel of Kurts jacket. His heart feels too full, bursting at the seams. He cant remember ever feeling like this with Connor, not even during the good times. He can feel Kurts eyes on him, comfortable and caring, and it takes him a while to find his words again.

"Im glad you enjoyed it," he says eventually, rocking on his heels. "I, um, made a reservation at a restaurant, if you feel up to it after this emotional rollercoaster? Or we... We can just go home if thats something youd prefer."

God, hes flustered. He cant remember ever being this flustered with Connor either.

Kurt straightens his back and takes a deep breath. "That depends," he says slowly. "Do I look like Ive been crying?"

Blaine lifts his head and sees the teasing, light-hearted smile on Kurts face, and cant help but smile himself.

"Now, be honest," Kurt demands, gesturing at his face. "Are my eyes red? Is my face blotchy? Because I cant be seen in public looking like that."

"You look beautiful, Kurt," Blaine answers. He holds out his hand for Kurt, and Kurt takes it without a moments hesitation.

"Flatterer," he mutters, but looks pleased all the same. "Food?"

"Food," Blaine repeats and starts leading them towards the restaurant, swinging their connected hands as they walk.

Theyre halfway through dinner, both of them moaning almost pornographically over their fettuccine alfredo, when Kurt suddenly stops, delicately wipes his mouth and then crosses his arms over the table with a pensive look in his eyes.

"Blaine," he says.

Blaine swallows the pasta he has in his mouth. "... Yes?"

"This is a date, isnt it?" Kurt asks, tilting his head.

Blaine blinks. Feels his heart start to beat faster. Looks at Kurt and takes a leap. "Yes."

Kurts face breaks into the most beautiful smile Blaine has ever seen. "Good," he replies, reaching for his utensils again. "I was hoping for that."

---

"That was the best date Ive ever been on," Kurt declares when they step inside the apartment, Blaine closing the door behind them. Kurt spins around to face Blaine, clicking his heels together. "Though I have to admit that it was also the first and only date Ive ever been on," he adds, grinning.

Blaine smiles back at him. "We can always have more dates?"

"Id like that." Kurt steps closer and winds his arms around Blaine. "Id like that very much."

He leans in, pressing his lips softly against Blaines, and Blaine hums, responding to the kiss and letting his own hands slide down Kurts sides until they reach his waist. He can feel Kurt smiling into the kiss, his arms around Blaines neck bringing him closer, so close that their bodies are completely pressed together. Blaines eyes flutter shut. Kurt is firm and warm against him, and if he focuses, if he imagines a little, he can almost feel Kurts heartbeat through the fabrics of their clothes, thumping against his own chest like a reminder of how real this is.

He tilts his head, giving Kurt better access, and Kurt immediately licks into his mouth, tentatively but getting bolder with every second. His hands are pulling and sliding and pushing, grabbing the back of Blaines shirt, desperate and urgent. Blaine gasps, throwing his head back from all the sudden feelings, the warmth running through his body, the familiar tingle of arousal pulsing through his veins and making him feel like hes vibrating out of his own skin. Kurts lips immediately move down to his jaw, kissing the line of it and sucking at the sensitive skin near his ears.

"K-Kurt..." Blaine tries, moving his hands to Kurts shoulders. Hes getting hard so fast that its making him feel dizzy, like he cant think straight. Its been a while since hes had another man this close, but its not just that - its Kurt, the way he feels and the way he makes Blaine feel, the searching and exploring way his hands glide over Blaines body, touching his back and his upper thighs, the heat behind his kisses.

"You have no idea how long Ive wanted to do this," Kurt says in a quiet voice, nuzzling his nose against Blaines jaw and pressing another kiss to his neck.

"Kurt, we should-" Blaine blinks his eyes several times, trying to clear his head. "W-we should stop, okay?"

Kurt pulls away, meeting Blaines eyes, and god - his cheeks are flushed, his lips red from all the kisses, and his eyes are so wide, as if theres a fire burning behind them, and Blaine swallows against the sudden dryness in his throat.

"Did I- Oh my god, was that too fast?" Kurt asks, moving his hands to a less compromising place. "Did I read this all wrong, or-"

"No, Kurt, no, trust me, that was..." Blaine shakes his head, trying to come up with a good word for what just happened. "That was amazing, believe me - I cant believe you just did that, but I... I think we should slow down. Dont you?"

Kurt tilts his head. "Slow down?"

"Yeah." Blaine nods. He looks down, straightening the lapels of Kurts jacket. He must have been pulling at them at some point. "You dont have to... I mean, I dont want to push you into anything. Im good with the way things are."

Kurt purses his lips. "But... youd be good with more as well?"

Blaine lifts his head, feeling tongue-tied all of a sudden. "I... Y-yes, of course. I want you. Of course I do. But we dont have to do anything, Kurt. We dont have to rush or-"

"Blaine," Kurt interrupts him with a grin. "You dont have to be so careful with me. Though I do appreciate it. Its nice." He pecks Blaines lips, letting the kiss linger for a few seconds before he pulls back. "But the thing is... I want you too. Quite a lot, actually."

Blaine stares at him. The air feels thick around them. "You mean...?"

Kurts smile softens. He leans forward again, capturing Blaines lips in a slow and heated kiss, carefully pulling him closer. Their hips get pushed together with the movement, and suddenly Blaine can feel Kurt against him, just as hard as he is, and he gasps again, his hands automatically reaching for Kurts arms for balance.

"See?" Kurt whispers against his lips.

Blaine surges forward, closing the short distance between their mouths with his heart pounding inside his chest. He can feel Kurts hands pulling him even closer, trailing over the curve of his back and lower, even lower still.

"Youre sure?" Blaine asks breathlessly. He kisses Kurts neck, and Kurt shivers against him.

"Bedroom?" Kurt replies, already maneuvering them towards the door.

Blaine lets out a laugh, burying his face in Kurts chest for a moment before he continues finding out just the right spots on Kurts (still long, still so beautiful) neck. "Not the sofa bed?"

Kurt giggles but keeps kissing every inch of Blaines face he can reach. "Takes too much time to open it, to be honest."

They stumble into the bedroom in a tangle of limbs and breathless laughter. Putting any distance between himself and Kurt feels impossible suddenly, as if Blaine wouldnt be able to breathe properly if he stopped kissing Kurt, stopped running his hands over Kurts body. Kurt is already pulling at his shirt, tugging it free from his pants, his hands sneaking underneath it, heated against Blaines skin. Blaine pushes at Kurts jacket in answer, practically pawing at it, until Kurt lets go of him for the few seconds that it takes for him to shrug it off, immediately moving in close again once it falls to the floor.

It takes some time, between their need to stay close and keep kissing, but eventually Blaine kicks off his jeans, both of them in their underwear now, and then falls on the bed, pulling Kurt with him. They bounce against the mattress, laughing again, Kurts nose bumping against Blaines cheek, but then suddenly theyre face to face, breathing heavily, and they both just... stop, staring at each other through the dim lighting of the room.

Kurts hair is a mess from where Blaines hands have been running through it, and Blaine can feel his own hair breaking free from the gel as well. He reaches out a hand, trailing his fingertips over Kurts cheek, down his neck and over his chest, letting his gaze follow. Hes seen glimpses of this before, in the tiny bathroom in the mornings or when hes slept next to Kurt in the nights, but he has never seen this much. Hes never seen this much pale skin; seen the defined angles of Kurts collarbones, the faint dusting of light brown hair over his body, the lean muscles on his arms and chest, the curve of his waist, and the quiver in Kurts stomach when Blaines fingertips move slowly against his skin. He smiles, glancing up at Kurt and finding him watching his expression.

"Ticklish?" he asks.

"Didnt know I was," Kurt answers quietly. His thumb is stroking over Blaines hip, slowly and hesitantly.

Blaine flattens his palm against Kurts chest, over his heart, and now he doesnt even have to imagine - he can feel it beating under his hand, steady and alive. A faint blush is spreading down Kurts neck, coloring his skin, and Blaine smiles again. He cranes his neck and kisses Kurts collarbone, just a small touch of his lips, and Kurt trembles above him.

"Youre beautiful, Kurt," he whispers. Because he is. Its the absolute truth; it encompasses everything Blaine is feeling at this moment, and not saying it out loud would be like betraying himself and Kurt at the same time.

Kurt looks away, a small, overwhelmed smile on his face. "Youre not so bad yourself either," he says.

Blaine fits his hand on Kurts hip, two of his fingers slipping underneath the waistband of his underwear. "Not so bad, huh?" he jokes.

Kurt turns to look at him again, grinning. "What do you want me to say, then? That Ive been ogling you for weeks already? That Im pretty sure Im going to have a heart attack now that Ive seen you up close?" He widens his eyes dramatically.

Blaine snorts. "Thats makes two of us, then." He slowly moves his hand to push Kurts underwear lower. "Can I...?"

Kurt blinks and swallows, looking a little nervous. "Okay."

"Dont worry," Blaine says, taking Kurts hand and guiding it to his own underwear. He keeps his eyes on Kurts, and smiles. "Im nervous too."

Kurt takes a breath and smiles back.

They slowly pull each others underwear off, throwing them somewhere towards the floor, and when theyre finally completely naked Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt, kissing him again, deep and slow. They both gasp and still when their bodies shift closer, all that skin suddenly touching everywhere and sending sparks of electricity running through Blaines body.

"I dont know-" Kurt pants, mouth open against Blaines lips. "How do I-"

"Just like this," Blaine breathes out, pulling Kurt even closer until theyre completely pressed against each other, the head of Kurts cock nudging at Blaines stomach. He shifts on the bed and lifts his legs until he can wrap them around Kurts waist, roll his hips upwards and hear the way Kurts breath shudders out of him. "L-like this," he breathes out.

"Oh my god." Kurt responds to his movement, burying his face in Blaines shoulder and mouthing at his sweaty skin. His arms slide underneath Blaines back and shoulders, holding him still as he moves. Blaines hands scrabble against Kurts back, holding on as Kurt finds a rhythm, pushing and rolling, his hips stuttering. Someone is whining, low and urgent, and it takes Blaine a moment to realize that the sound is coming from his own throat.

Kurt keeps trembling, like hes barely holding himself together, and Blaine closes his eyes and tilts his head back, focuses on the sensations of Kurts flushed skin moving against his own, the sweat sliding between their bodies, the shift of Kurts back muscles under his hands. Its amazing; its more than anything Blaine has felt before. He feels connected and safe and loved, like he can trust Kurt with everything - even with his heart, with all the cracks in it and all the fissures he has tried to cover up. With his confused feelings, all the wrong choices he has made and all the mistakes.

"C-can I-?" Kurt asks all of a sudden, one of his hands already wandering down Blaines chest and stomach. Blaine blinks and then nods shakily, trying to remember how to breathe again. Kurt takes a breath and then slowly wraps his fingers around their cocks, testing the weight and feel of them until he brings them closer together. "L-like that?" he asks.

"Yeah," Blaine says, pushing into the tunnel of Kurts hand. Its a little dry, a little too much, but then Kurt moves his hand and suddenly its perfect, both of them moaning out loud once Kurt finds a rhythm. Its erratic and desperate, but its still a rhythm. An amazing rhythm.

Sex has never felt like this before for Blaine. There has always been some amount of distance or disconnection, something missing even though he hasnt been able to pinpoint what it is. He can feel Kurt kissing his neck, surprisingly tenderly, as if hes thanking him for something, for existing maybe, and Blaine squeezes his eyes shut even tighter, feeling something wet that feels suspiciously like tears sliding down his cheek. Just then Kurt lifts up, rolling his hips from a different angle as he twists his hand, and Blaines eyes snap open with the force of the moan that breaks out of him.

"B-Blaine?"

Kurt is staring at him, his hips still moving with little, aborted movements even though hes obviously trying to stay still, his grip loosening; his hair sweaty and his eyes worried.

"Im fine," Blaine gasps out, pulling Kurt closer again. "K-keep going, Kurt, please, Im- just-"

Kurt blinks and then leans down to kiss him, slow and sweet despite the way his body is getting more urgent again. His lips trail over the wet tear tracks on Blaines cheek, kissing them away, and Blaine closes his eyes again, his heart feeling too full all of a sudden.

He loves this man. He loves Kurt. He loves him so much that he doesnt know how he can handle it.

"Blaine," Kurt breathes out, his voice so full of wonder, "Blaine, Im not-"

"Come on," Blaine says, rolling his own hips against Kurts, "come on, its okay, come on-"

Kurts hips stutter to a stop, his mouth opening in a silent moan against Blaines shoulder as his whole body tightens up - and then he comes, gasping out Blaines name one more time, and Blaine follows him, lets all the tension in his body break out as his cock pulses in Kurts hand, the amazing feeling rolling over his whole body, from his head to his toes.

Kurt collapses against him, breathing heavily. Theyre messy and sweaty, but Kurt doesnt seem to mind, placing a tired kiss on Blaines shoulder once hes gotten some of his breath back. Blaine wraps his arms around him, burying his face in Kurts hair and breathing out slowly, trying to get his own heartbeat back in control again.

"That was..." Kurt breathes. "That was just... wow." Then he lets out a tired giggle. "God, what a lame expression, but Im guessing you get the point."

Blaine smiles and kisses Kurts hair. "You okay?"

"Im better than okay." Kurt lifts his head and shifts on the bed until he can prop his chin up on Blaines chest. "Are you?" He reaches out a hand, gently brushing his fingers over Blaines cheek, his eyes soft. "I didnt- I mean, youre not-"

"Im good," Blaine interrupts him. "Im better than good, really. It was just... so much." He doesnt know how else to describe it. Hes not ready to say it out loud, not yet, not now, but he has to say something. "Im really happy right now," he finishes, feeling a little silly.

Kurt smiles, tender and relaxed. "Me too. That was a very good first time." He looks at Blaine, his eyes shining, and the intensity of the emotions in his gaze makes Blaine feel like he could do anything.

Kurt looks at him like hes something important, something precious and worth loving.

"Im so glad it was you," Kurt adds, nosing the curve of Blaines neck.

Blaine blinks, feeling the pressure of overwhelmed tears behind his eyes again. He loves Kurt. The feeling is like a rush of air in his lungs after being underwater for too long; like finding the perfect last notes for a melody hes been working on for weeks. He never felt like this with Connor, even though he thought he did, and he certainly didnt feel like this with Nathan, no matter how hard he tried.

"Im so glad it was you too," he breathes out. He shifts on the bed until he can cuddle Kurt properly, and Kurt follows easily, humming with pleasure as Blaine throws his leg over Kurts thighs, ignoring the mess of come and sweat on their bodies.

"Thank you for today," Kurt murmurs, bending down to kiss Blaine one more time, lazily moving his lips against Blaines. He pulls back after a long moment, adjusting their position until theyre both comfortable on the bed. "Today was the best day Ive ever had," he sighs happily.

Blaine hides his smile against Kurts chest, holding on tightly because he feels like he could float away if he let go of Kurt right now. "Same here," he whispers.

Kurt only hums in response, already halfway asleep, and Blaine closes his eyes, focusing on the rise and fall of Kurts chest under his head.

Just before he falls asleep, he cant help but wonder if this is what true love feels like.