Kurt is the one who drives Blaine home when he finally gets out of the hospital. Blaine didn't ask him, but Kurt volunteered to pick up Blaine's car and drive him home, and Blaine looked pleasantly surprised by suggestion, so he supposes it was the right choice.

They haven't talked about the mess, as Kurt has started calling it in his head, not yet – not with Blaine mostly under the influence of pain meds and Kurt still having to reassure himself that he's fine. He has stayed close to Blaine as much as possible for the past two days, holding his hand when he's asleep and talking about Perry and the aftermath of the case when he's awake. There have been a few times when Blaine has looked at him like he's waiting for him to broach the subject, but Kurt hasn't brought it up yet. He has been waiting for the right moment, for the time when they're not inside the suffocating hospital walls anymore.

He knows that his time is running out.

Outside Blaine's apartment building Kurt watches as Blaine struggles to get out of the car, carefully maneuvering his limbs and wincing when he slowly stands up.

"Do you need help?" Kurt asks as he rushes around the car to where Blaine is standing, already reaching out for him just in case.

Blaine takes a deep breath, treading the few steps it takes to cross the sidewalk in a way that looks a bit stiff. "N-no, it's just..." He gives a small smile, scrunching his nose. "Standing up and sitting down are still kind of difficult, as are reaching up or down, even if the doctor said the wound is starting to heal well. But I can handle it."

Kurt hesitates, his hand hovering near Blaine's elbow. He thinks about the last time he drove Blaine home, when Blaine almost fell asleep in the car, and the same emotion is still there, that old instinct to take care of someone.

"I know you can handle it," he ventures, his voice careful because he doesn't want to cross any boundaries when things are still so tentative between them, "but you don't have to handle it alone."

Blaine stops, surprised. They're standing right in front of the doorstep, two flights of stairs still waiting for them, and Kurt slowly offers his hand to Blaine. A part of him is afraid that Blaine will just turn his back on him, stubbornly climb all those stairs by himself because he doesn't want to accept Kurt's help, and he swallows against the fear in his throat, keeping his hand still and waiting for the inevitable refusal.

Blaine stares at his hand for a moment, his eyebrows high up on his forehead. Then his face breaks into a smile, and he reaches out and takes Kurt's hand, his grip hesitant at first until he looks up into Kurt's eyes and squeezes his hand tightly.

"Okay," he says. "I could... I could probably use some help with the stairs," he admits with a sheepish laugh.

The sight of his smile and the touch of his hand remind Kurt of things he hasn't experienced for a long time (like home, he feels like home), and the breath rushes out of his lungs. "Alright then," he says airily, taking a step towards the building. "Let's go."

They make it up the stairs, Kurt's hand squeezing Blaine's and his other brushing his elbow for support. Blaine winces a few times, but he doesn't waver, doesn't stop to rest, and he even looks a bit surprised himself by how easy the climb turns out to be. He could have probably made it without help, but he keeps holding on to Kurt's hand anyway and even leans closer every time his movements seem to pull on his injured side.

Perry practically launches herself at Blaine when they open the door, whining and making distressed noises at the back of her throat as if she can smell the wound and the hospital stay on Blaine. She barely notices Kurt, and when Blaine offers his hand to her with a smile she immediately licks at it, her tail wagging like there's no tomorrow.

"Hi girl," Blaine coos and pets her head. "I'm sorry I can't bend down to greet you properly, but I have to be careful with my movements for now." Perry whines again, butting her head against his leg, and Blaine laughs. "Oh, so you do still like me? Ms. Avninder hasn't completely won you over by now?"

Kurt smiles and absent-mindedly scratches Perry's fur with his fingertips as he steps further into the apartment. His time is up.

"Do you... Are you tired?" he asks, looking at Blaine over his shoulder, his hands playing with the scarf around his neck. "The doctor said you should rest."

Blaine keeps petting Perry and glances up at Kurt. The corners of his eyes crinkle in amusement. "Rest isn't the same as sleep, Kurt. I feel like I've spent the last two days just sleeping."

"Oh." Kurt loosens his scarf and looks around the apartment, biting his lip.

Blaine's smile dims, and he slowly straightens his back, giving Perry one last scratch behind her ears. "But... I could sit down?" he suggests. "In the living room?"

Kurt nods. "Y-yeah, sure. Can you..." He gestures towards the living room awkwardly.

Blaine rolls his eyes, the gesture more fond than anything else. "I think I can walk there without any help, thank you."

"Do you want coffee?" Kurt asks, stalling. "I... I could make some."

"That'd be great." Blaine gives a smile and slowly walks to the living room, Perry scurrying after him with her tongue lolling from her mouth. "You do know how to use my coffee maker?" he calls out as he goes.

"Yeah, I'll bring the coffee to the living room when I'm done," Kurt answers. He pushes his coat off of his shoulders and drapes it over the back of a nearby chair, folding his scarf neatly on top of it. Then he makes his way to the familiar kitchen, leaning against the island as soon as he's out of Blaine's line of sight, breathing out slowly.

He can't help but wince when he realizes that he practically stuttered when he was talking to Blaine.

He knows that he needs to explain some things to Blaine, he even wants to explain them, but he's still terrified. He can't remember the last time he was this honest with someone, the last time he apologized for his lies and cons and tried to make sense of them for someone else. It's not that he's scared of Blaine's reaction – Blaine has made it clear that he wants an explanation but he has also kept touching Kurt's hand and smiling at him, curious but not pressuring, concerned but not demanding – and even if Blaine had yelled at Kurt again or flinched away from his touch, Kurt would still feel the need to explain his actions.

It's weird. He didn't bother with explanations when he was still lying and conning people every day, not even when Santana sometimes questioned him or before he disappeared from Rachel's life. He felt bad about hurting people, of course he did, but he always told himself that it was necessary, that it was just something he had to do and that's it. When he first started his con-man career he spent several sleepless nights thinking about the people he had conned, worrying and second-guessing his choices, but like everything else it got easier with time, until all he felt was a small tightening around his heart or a tiny twinge of regret during those cons he did right before he got arrested for the first time.

But Blaine... He can't stand the idea of hurting Blaine. Not if he has the choice not to.

He busies himself with making coffee, rummaging through Blaine's kitchen cabinets until he finds the mug he has seen Blaine use before, a plain white mug with the FBI logo on it. Most of the other mugs and cups look practically untouched, and some of them are even covered with a thin layer of dust. Blaine probably doesn't have that many visitors with his busy hours at the office and late night stake-outs, but Kurt is surprised to notice that one of the mugs has been set aside next to Blaine's usual mug, away from the others.

It's an official FBI mug, similar to the one Blaine uses, except this one's dark blue and doesn't look as well-used as Blaine's own mug. When Kurt picks it up and looks at it more closely his breath catches in his throat – it's the mug Blaine always gives to him when he visits, the one Blaine placed in front of him on the dining room table all those months ago when Kurt rang his doorbell at half past five in the morning and they discussed their first case for such a long time that one take-away cup of coffee just wasn't enough.

It's Kurt's mug, set aside from all the others, waiting on the shelf right next to Blaine's own. It's such a small thing, but still so... Important.

Kurt finishes making the coffee, putting too much sugar and a sprinkle of cinnamon in Blaine's and a little bit of milk in his own before he carefully carries the mugs into the living room. Blaine is sitting on the well-worn arm chair, leaning against the backrest so he won't pull at his stitches, and Perry is lying on the floor next to him, her front paws practically over Blaine's feet as if she can keep him still in that way. Her tail thumps against the floor a few times when she notices Kurt.

"Here's your coffee," Kurt says and gives the white mug to Blaine.

Blaine smiles his thanks and takes a sip of the coffee, his eyelashes fluttering closed when he swallows. Kurt sits down opposite Blaine, wrapping his fingers around his own mug and letting the warmth calm his nerves. Blaine's living room isn't that big – there are just a few feet of empty space between their legs, and Kurt doesn't know if the proximity is a relief or if he needs more space to get everything out of his mouth.

"God, two days without proper coffee is clearly too much," Blaine practically moans and takes another sip.

Kurt stares into his own coffee for a moment and then abruptly places it on the coffee table, resting his hands in his lap instead. "I didn't mean to lie to you," he blurts out.

Blaine looks up, curious and a little surprised.

"I..." Kurt starts again, looking away from Blaine's eyes. "I really didn't mean to lie," he repeats softly. "There was no reason for me to do that because it was an accident, that whole stepping over the perimeter thing – I didn't know I was that close to the edge of my radius and I just... accidentally stepped over it, and when I realized what had happened I quickly stepped back."

Blaine licks his lips, moving his fingers slowly over the smooth surface of the mug. "So why did you lie to me, then?" he asks.

There's just a hint of accusation in his voice, barely there and noticeable only because Kurt's knows the way Blaine's voice works. Mostly he just sounds... curious. Like he wants to understand, wants to see the mess from Kurt's point of view.

Kurt sighs, his fingers moving restlessly over the knuckles of his other hand. "It was... instinct, I suppose, as awful as that sounds."

Blaine flinches and looks away. "Oh."

"No, not like that!" Kurt hastens to correct when he realizes what that must have sounded like. "I didn't mean that it was my instinct to lie to you, definitely not. That's – that's not what I meant." He lowers his voice, thinking about the best way to explain what really happened. "I meant that it was instinct because... You know there are things in my past I don't talk about, not even to you?"

Blaine nods, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Well, every time someone brings up a subject that even comes close to those things, I tend to panic." Kurt leans back, staring at the ceiling. "I've been lying about certain things for so long, ignoring them and just pushing them away for so many years that I've gotten used to always lying about them. It's just too difficult to tell the truth, sometimes. It's too much."

"So you lied to me because you panicked?" Blaine asks.

Kurt swallows. "That night when I stepped outside my radius I... I met up with this person who knew me before all of this, before the whole con-man career, and... You've probably noticed how I never talk about my family?"

Blaine's head snaps up, his eyes wide and surprised. "Kurt, you don't have to..." he starts, but Kurt shakes his head.

"No, what I meant is that... This person I met up with is like family to me. Like I said, they knew me before all of this, they know what I was like before I became a criminal." He gives a laugh. "I wouldn't even be surprised to find out that they have gathered all sorts of dirt on me."

The corners of Blaine's mouth twitch up in a small smile.

Kurt sobers, shaking his head. "Anyway, my family is one of those things I always lie about. The one thing I instinctively cover up with lies and half-truths and cons." He looks into Blaine's eyes, hoping that his words make sense. "So when you asked me what I was doing there that night, I panicked. Like I always do when the topic comes close to the people I don't want to talk about. That's why I lied to you, without even realizing it at first, but then I realized and I just..." He trails off.

"You just what?" Blaine prompts quietly.

"I knew I did the one thing I promised I would never do to you," Kurt finishes. "And I was so terrified, because I had thought that I could keep that promise, that you would be the one person I wouldn't... let down like that."

Blaine's smile turns sad, his eyes downcast, and he starts moving his fingers over the mug's surface again. "I guess family's a bit of sore spot for both of us," he says in a gentle voice.

Kurt remembers Blaine's brother, the one he rarely talks about, never mentioning his name. At the office practically everyone has some sort of a photograph on their desk – Sam has a picture of his younger brother and sister, Tina has a picture of her boyfriend, others have pictures of family members, significant others and friends. Kurt doesn't have any photos for obvious reasons, but the only other exception, he realizes, is Blaine. There are no pictures on his desk at work, no framed photographs on the walls of his apartment, and the only so-called family photo Kurt has seen is the picture of Perry as a puppy that's taped on the door of Blaine's fridge.

"Yeah," he says softly. "You could say that."

Blaine puts his coffee down on the small table next to the arm chair. "Thank you for telling me, Kurt."

"You... It made sense?" Kurt asks, wringing his hands again. "Because I know it makes sense in my head and I know I have a lot of issues with telling the truth, but I wasn't sure you'd be able to understand those reasons, not after I hurt you like that, and I'm so sorry you had to get shot before I finally managed to pull my head out of my ass, but I was so scared that this was it and you would never trust me again and –"

"Kurt, Kurt!" Blaine laughs, reaching out with his hands and stopping Kurt's rambling. "It's okay, I get it. I get why you lied to me. I just wanted to know why. You don't have to tell me everything, you and I both know that, but I couldn't come up with a reason for why you would lie to me, and now that I do know why you did it, it's almost... obvious."

He pauses for a long while, swallowing roughly and looking away. The smile slowly disappears from his eyes, and Kurt's stomach twists as if he's in pain, as if it hurts him not to know why Blaine looks so lost all of a sudden.

"My reaction probably seemed a bit... over-the-top for you," Blaine adds, shrugging as if his feelings are irrelevant.

Kurt shakes his head before Blaine has even finished the sentence. "No, Blaine, you had every right to –"

"I was just so scared that I had screwed something up," Blaine says quietly, and suddenly his eyes fill with tears. Kurt freezes, not used to seeing Blaine like this, this vulnerable, and the realization makes his stomach twist even more, as if his insides are being tied into tight knots.

"I was so scared that everything we had worked for was meaningless," Blaine continues, "or that you were going distance yourself and start lying to me, or that maybe all of those rumors spreading around the office were actually true – but now I just..." He shakes his head, letting out a self-deprecating laugh. "I guess I just keep overreacting to things, especially to things that turn out to be completely logical and understandable. But I just want this to work so badly, Kurt, in so many ways. I don't want to screw this up."

Something tightens around Kurt's heart and he scoots closer, leaning over the small space between them until he can grasp Blaine's hand. "You're not screwing anything up," he assures him. "We just both keep making mistakes in this whole CI plus agent relationship," he adds with a small grin and is relieved to see that the corners of Blaine's mouth twitch up as well. "I mean, we're both new to this, so it's bound to happen, but you're not the only one who doesn't want to screw this up, Blaine. Why do you think I told you all of that? Why do you think I..." He hesitates, biting his lip. "Why do you think I have a feeling that one day I might actually tell you all those things I haven't told anyone else?" he finishes.

Blaine blinks his eyes, a tear slipping free and sliding down his cheek. "W-what?" he stutters.

Kurt thinks about what Santana said – maybe you should think about telling this to that Blaine guy then – and a part of him can't believe that he's actually about to take advice from Santana Lopez of all people. But Blaine has bared his feelings, all those worries he has never shown to Kurt before, and perhaps the least Kurt can do is be a bit more honest than he usually is, just for Blaine.

(When he first moved to New York, years and years ago, he used to call his dad almost every day. For the first few weeks the phone calls mostly just consisted of him complaining about how being in the city of her dreams had turned Rachel into even more of a diva than she already was – how she used all the hot water every morning, acted like she was the queen of the world, and didn't even seem to notice that Kurt was still a bit confused by the city. His dad listened to him patiently, but eventually, after the fifteenth or sixteenth phone call, he interrupted Kurt and said, "You know, Kurt, people don't necessarily know how you feel unless you tell them yourself."

Perhaps it's not Santana's advice he's taking, but his dad's.)

Kurt strokes his thumb over Blaine's knuckles, just like he did in the hospital, and takes a deep breath. "You just... You make me want to be a better person, Blaine," he confesses. Blaine's breath hitches in his throat. "You remind me of all these things I used to be, of all the things I could be, and being with you, working with you... It makes me feel like a better person. It makes me feel like myself."

Blaine is staring at him, tear tracks on his cheeks, and the way he looks at Kurt makes him blink a few overwhelmed tears of his own away from his eyes.

"B-but... You already are a better person, Kurt," Blaine counters. "You're so much better than you think you are."

Kurt shrugs. "Maybe, but you're helping me see that as well."

Blaine lets out a soft laugh and lifts his hand to wipe his face with his sleeve, his other hand still holding Kurt's in an awkward angle. "Well, if that's the case, I'm glad that I can do that for you," he says eventually.

"That is the case, trust me," Kurt insists and moves his other hand to rest over their joined fingers as well.

Blaine stops and looks at their hands for a moment, obviously gathering the courage to say something. "I... I know I told you that I suggested this deal because I thought you could help people and because you deserved a chance, but it's not just about that." His voice goes quiet, unsure, and Kurt leans instinctively closer, trying to catch Blaine's eye. "It's not just about helping other people or helping you or making you see how good you can be. I mean yes, that's a big part of it, but it's also..." Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand. "I'm also being selfish. Because I like having you in my life, Kurt. I want you in my life."

Kurt can suddenly hear his own heartbeat in his ears, loud and fast, and something that feels a lot like hope starts unfurling inside his chest, warm and so inviting, chasing away all the tight knots inside his stomach.

"What do you –" he starts, but Blaine squeezes his hand again, stopping his words.

"You were honest with me and made sure we could fix things, so I..." Blaine lets out a wet laugh. "I kind of feel like I have to be honest with you as well. Because I don't want you to stay in this deal without knowing the real reason I suggested it in the first place."

Kurt swallows, his throat dry. "And what is that?"

Blaine looks at him, and his gaze is so tender, so soft and full of something that Kurt has been hoping for for such a long time. Everything in his eyes is more than usual, more than Kurt has ever seen, and the artist in him tries to desperately memorize all the details – the color of Blaine's eyes in this moment, the cold sunlight streaming in from the window, Perry asleep on the floor next to Blaine's feet, the mugs of cold coffee set aside, and the way Blaine takes a deep, shuddering breath before he says the next words.

"I think I'm in love with you, Kurt," he breathes out.

Not just more – this is everything, this is the most Kurt has ever felt.

"And I know that it complicates things," Blaine mutters, ducking his head in a nervous gesture, "and I know that the people who spread those stupid rumors would probably have a field day if they knew about this, and you most likely don't even feel the same way, but I..." He glances at Kurt, and the smile playing on his lips takes Kurt's breath away. "You always fascinated me more than anyone else, but it took me a while to realize that it wasn't about the chase or the clever crimes. It was about who you are and what you make me feel. And this deal was basically just an excuse to spend more time with you."

Kurt stares at him, his heart thumping loudly against his ribcage. He can't remember the last time he was this speechless, if there's ever even been a time like that. The silence stretches on and on, his mouth open around the words he wants to get out but can't because this is pure honesty, no lies or cons or bright smiles to hide behind; all of those have suddenly faded away, and he doesn't –

Blaine's smile falls and he looks away, tugging his hand from Kurt's grip, a distant and polite expression already forming on his face. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't..."

It feels cold – Kurt's hands feel cold when he's not holding on to Blaine's hand anymore, his heart feels cold when Blaine looks like that, sad and disappointed and worried – and he quickly scrambles forward, closing the distance between them and cupping Blaine's cheek with his hand so he can lift his chin and press his lips against Blaine's.

Blaine freezes for a second, but then his whole body unwinds, his lips opening under Kurt's and his eyelids fluttering closed. Kurt's hand slides from Blaine's cheek to the back of his head, his fingers brushing the small curls at the nape of Blaine's neck, and when he turns his head a little he can taste the remains coffee and cinnamon in Blaine's mouth, an undercurrent of something exquisite behind the softness of Blaine's plump lips.

Kurt is practically halfway in Blaine's lap, trying to keep his limbs away from Blaine's left side where the gunshot wound is, his back bent in an awkward angle, but he doesn't care. He really couldn't care less about the uncomfortable twinge in his shoulders when Blaine sighs in his mouth, a small, surprised sound escaping from his throat, his hand fisting the front of Kurt's shirt. This, this is the most Kurt has ever felt – this is everything he has been wondering about for the last few months, this is what he has been aching for, the slide of Blaine's lips against his own, Blaine sucking his lower lip gently in his mouth and pulling him closer as if he never wants to let go.

Kurt gives Blaine's lips one last nip, and then he leans away, his hand sliding away from the back of Blaine's head. He rests his hands on the armrests of Blaine's chair for support, trying to catch his breath, but it's knocked right out of him all over again when Blaine blinks his eyes open and looks at him, his mouth still a little open and his lips red and so kissable.

"What..." Blaine clears his throat, searching Kurt's face. "What just..."

"I'm in love with you too," Kurt says. He needs to memorize the way Blaine looks right now as well, the way his eyes widen at Kurt's words and his mouth falls open a little more, astonished and almost disbelieving. He wants to paint a picture of Blaine in this moment; he can almost see the painting in his mind already, the colors vibrant and hopeful, but still somehow soft and inviting.

"You... You are?" Blaine asks. On the floor Perry makes a small sound in her sleep, but neither one of them pays any attention to it.

"I am," Kurt affirms, a giddy grin pulling at his lips. There's no reason for him to lie, not anymore.

"You are," Blaine repeats slowly. His eyes go over Kurt's face one last time, and then he lets out a surprised laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He sounds younger than ever before. "You really are, oh my god –"

This time it's Blaine who surges forward, but Kurt meets him halfway, making sure he doesn't move too much and aggravate his wound, pushing Blaine's shoulders until he's leaning against the backrest again and crowded between the chair and Kurt's body. Kurt practically climbs into Blaine's lap, his legs on either side of Blaine's thighs and his anklet catching on the fabric of Blaine's pants.

The kiss is more desperate than the first one, and Blaine whines into it, his hands automatically anchoring themselves on Kurt's hips. Kurt feels almost dizzy with it, running his fingers down the front of Blaine's shirt, because oh, this is what Blaine's body feels like, this is what his hands feel like when they're pulling Kurt even closer, this is what his lips taste like, this is what it feels like when Blaine practically arches up into Kurt's touch.

Suddenly Blaine lets out a gasp that sounds more pained than pleased, and Kurt immediately breaks the kiss and pulls back, just in time to see how Blaine winces and presses his hand against his left side, over the still tender gunshot wound.

"Oh god, are you okay?" Kurt panics, his hands hovering nervously above Blaine's body. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Blaine lets out a laugh. "No, no, it's fine, I just – I guess I just got a bit too excited there and forgot that I'm not exactly as right as rain right now."

Kurt bites his lip. "Sorry."

"I wasn't protesting," Blaine says. "Did it look like I was? Because I can assure you that I –"

Kurt cuts him off by pressing a quick kiss on his mouth, just because he can. Blaine's eyes close at the touch, a small smile spreading over his lips, and he moves his other hand back to Kurt's hipbone, stroking it slowly over his clothes. It feels odd, in a good way. Kurt has always been very particular about touching, freezing almost every time someone just brushes his shoulder or pats his back. There have always been exceptions, obviously, but it has usually taken him years to get used to someone new touching him. But with Blaine... Blaine's touch has never made him freeze or flinch away. Blaine's touch has always grounded him, has always been welcome and careful, and he has even wanted Blaine to touch him, to hold his hand and squeeze his shoulder. The realization that they can now touch in a different way makes his cheeks flush and a heat pool in his stomach.

"Wait. Isn't there a rule about agents dating CIs and vice versa?" Kurt asks after a moment, suddenly remembering how Blaine said that his feelings complicate things.

The movement of Blaine's hand stops and his eyes flutter open. "Y-yeah," he says, "there is, actually. It's very strictly forbidden."

"Oh." Kurt can feel his shoulders slump, and he rests his hands on his lap, trying not to sound too disappointed. He knows how important the FBI is to Blaine, and he would never ask him to make a choice between his work and his feelings. It still doesn't change the fact that this feels so unfair – to finally have something, have someone he has been waiting for, only to have stupid rules stop them.

Blaine clears his throat, his hand starting to move over Kurt's hipbone again in a soothing pattern. "It's considered inappropriate because I'm your handler and you're working for us. If anyone at the Bureau found out, you could go back to prison and I could be fired," he explains in a quiet voice. "So basically... We'd have to keep this a secret?"

It sounds more like a question than a statement, and Kurt's head snaps up. Blaine is smiling at him, small and hopeful, and something warm spreads through Kurt's body.

"That sounds a lot like breaking the rules," he points out.

Blaine nods. "I know. And believe me, I would love to just... kiss you right in front of everyone at the office first thing tomorrow morning, but it's not that simple. There are already agents who doubt everything about our deal, and if they knew that we..."

"No, I get it," Kurt interrupts. "I'm just a bit surprised that you're the one suggesting that we should break the rules. I thought I would have to bring that up," he adds with a grin.

Blaine's smile widens. "Well, I've been bending and twisting the rules ever since you agreed to this deal." He shrugs. "And I just... I don't want to let go of you because of some rule that tells me I should. Maybe I just want to be selfish again."

Kurt shakes his head, feeling far too much for this agent who could've been his biggest enemy, all things considered. "Trust me, you're not being selfish."

Blaine looks at him, his smile a little goofy. "So... Are we crime-fighting boyfriends now?"

"We're boyfriends," Kurt laughs. "Just in secret."

"Such rule-breakers," Blaine whispers and pulls him closer, meeting his lips gently, and Kurt keeps his eyes open this time, just to make sure this is actually happening.

Oh, there you are, he thinks. I've been looking for you forever.