Blaine X Paper Clip: A Crack Fic
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Feb. 5, 2012, 6:48 p.m.


Blaine X Paper Clip: A Crack Fic: Chapter 1


K - Words: 788 - Last Updated: Feb 05, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 3/? - Created: Jul 29, 2011 - Updated: Feb 05, 2012
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Author's Notes: So this is a crackfic inspired by a friend who asked me who I shipped Blaine with. I told him that I would ship him with anyone for I am a shipper of ships and can and will ship anything.I then proceeded to tell him I could ship Blaine with a.. paper clip.And then this shit was born.Its Pre-canon Klaine a little after Silly Love Songs.

Blaine sat at a table with Wes and David. He was bored. Positively bored. And because he’s as blind as a fucking bat, he could not see that Kurt was practically ready to fall into his arms and love him forever.

“I’m going to be alone forever.” Blaine groaned, hunched over the table. He was complaining to Wes and David who were seriously questioning whether or not Blaine should get his brain checked.

“Blaine… you do know that love is practically right in front of your face… Right?” Wes dropped the hint desperately trying to control his urge to hit him over the head with his gavel. Maybe it would reverse Blaine’s stupidity… or maybe make it worse.

Blaine looked in front of him. On the table laid a paper clip. One that had managed to escape the papers Wes had in front of him for the upcoming Warbler’s meeting. “Are you sure about this Wes?”

“Positive.”

Blaine grabbed the paperclip. “This is a very odd choice for love, but I trust you Wes. I do. You’re smart.”

Wes and David exchange looks. David face palms.

“I shall name him George.” Blaine smiles and stood up from the table. “Thanks again Wes. You’re an awesome friend.” He walks away, paper clip in tow.

“Are you kidding me?” David asks.

“I’m going to beat him over the head with my gavel for sure.”

 

 


 

 

It was then, Blaine, holding George carefully between his fingers, took a beautiful run down the slow motion hallway on his way to Warblers practice.

“Guys.. I have an announcement.” Blaine stood at the front the room and nearly everyone was reminded of the gap attack.

“I’m in love… again.” Blaine smiled.

Kurt, who was sitting next to that one tall blonde guy Logan, who was next to Trent much like before, raised his hand eagerly. Also like before.

“Yes Kurt?” Blaine asked.

“Does he work at the gap?”

“No. In fact, he’s in this room right now”

Kurt’s eyes widened. No way. This was it. Blaine finally has realized he was in love with him and now he was announcing it to everyone and it was so sweet and romantic. Blaine was probably going to sing a song to express his true feeling and the warblers would sway in the background.

“Everyone, I’m in love with..” Blaine started out.

Kurt braced himself, smile on his face, this was the moment.

“George… This here paperclip” Blaine grinned as he held up ‘George’.

Kurt’s smile quickly fell from his face as his jaw dropped and got his bitch face on. He was judging Blaine so hard right now. He was so going to have to cut a bitch later. He so was.

The other Warblers groaned, face palmed, and in general just felt embarrassed FOR Blaine.

David grabbed Wes’ arm as he swung it back, armed and ready, to hit Blaine over the head with the gavel.

“You can’t be serious sir! You do realize that’s just a paperclip?” Thad broke the awkward silence.

Blaine gasped in shock. “I am appalled! George is more then just a paperclip! You know, you all just don’t understand true love!”

Kurt stayed quiet. He did not have words for what was going on. A paperclip. A fucking paperclip. He wanted to rage right now.

Even Pavarotti made a questionable what the fuck worthy chirp from his cage.

“You know what? Me and George don’t need any of you! We will go somewhere where our love will be accepted!” Blaine huffed and turned heading out the door.

The Warblers remained quiet. Most wondering is Blaine was mentally stable. The rest just in shock and confused by what they just witnessed.

Kurt just vowed to assuming that when Blaine says he’s in love… it was not about him.

 

 


 

 

Blaine entered the Lima Bean.

“Its okay George… They’ll understand our love eventually.” He told the little paperclip in his hand. “We have to give it time for them to accept us.” He stood in line. “I love you. That’s what matters.”

Soon enough it was Blaine’s turn to order.

“One medium drip… err make that two, one for me, one for my new boyfriend.” Blaine smiled. Boy did it feel great to say that.

“You and Kurt finally got together? Congrats!” The cashier lady who had been watching the two for weeks, who occasionally listened in on their conversations, and would just tell the two had all these feelings for each other. so basically all of tumblr

Blaine looked at her confused and laughed lightly. “Why would I get together with Kurt?”

“Its not Kurt?” The girl was confused.

“No… This is my boyfriend.” Blaine held up the paperclip. “His name is George!” He grinned.

“……… right. So… two medium drops right? One for you… one for the pape- um… George?” The girl was ever more confused now.

“Yes please.” Blaine smiles getting out his wallet, reassuring George that he would pay for the coffee.

End Notes: So um yeah.. eventually there will be a part two.. I promise. One day... and yes it leads to eventual Klaine.

Comments

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The sounds I am making are inhuman. Just saying. If I could, there would be a gif right here.

Crack fics are my specialty I think :D

This is... this is my favorite thing right now. Of all the things, it's just... the best thing.

And then I laughed forever. Oh my god... I think the neighbours could hear my guffaw when he named him George...

I LOVE YOUR MIND. I am laughing so hard. I love this, it's amazing.

part two please!! OMG BLAINERS SO OBLIVIOUS

Omigod. I am cracking up! Omg please write a part two!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm still chuckling. It will be interesting to see how this progresses. Blaine, you are SO clueless!

This was so funny and yet slightly terrifying cause now I think Blaine has officially lost it. lol - Holly

OHMYFREAKINGGOD.I.... can't... breathe....I'm laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes!!! Bahahahaha!!!!!ONWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!