"Kurt, you startled me. What are you doing out of bed at this hour?" Kurt quickly glanced over at the clock on the mantlepiece. 1am.

"I could ask you the same question. You know we have the concert practise tomorrow and you need to rest. It was only last week you were saying you wernt getting enough sleep and you wernt feeling as good as you normally do."

His hazel eyes flickered back to the window again. "You need to sleep too."

"I only got up to look for you, I woke up and noticed you wernt there. I was worried when you didnt come up after about half an hour."

Blaine sighed heavily and slid off the windowsill. "I just couldnt sleep, I have alot on my mind right now."

"Talk to me about it."

He couldnt bring himself to meet Kurts gaze, his eyes still fixed on the darkness outside. "I cant. I have to deal with this myself."

Kurt moved forward to slide his arms around Blaines waist and rest his hands on the bottom of his back. He knew Blaine needed the contact and the comfort. "Blaine, we never keep secrets from eachother. You can tell me anything."

He dropped his head. "I know, thats whats so wonderful about you. You're amazing Kurt, I really dont deserve you."

"Blaine." he whined, a smile playing on his lips. "You're compliments will make me as red as your pajamas, which are very festive by the way."

"I wish they made me feel it. I'm not really in the christmas spirit." He was used to Kurts contact but when he felt Kurt's warm hand slide under his top and start tracing light circles on his bare skin he had to stiffle a moan. "I just... I dont know what to do anymore. I can bluff my way through anything with a bit of false confidence but this..."

"Blaine, I cant help you if you dont talk to me."

"What if you were so sure of something that it was frightening you to death? Like when you knew you were gay and it scared you. Scared you because of what people would think and say and do. That it would make you different. An outcast. Or imagine even, thinking you though you were gay all this time the suddenly, bam! You wake up and you're like, 'oh i'm not gay at all.'

"What are you on about? Is this about your sexuality because I thought you knew you were gay, especially after all that buisness with Rachel."

"I did, I still do. I'm definatley gay its just... okay that wasnt the best example."

"Well then what, because you arent making any sense?"

"Just forget it okay!"

"Dont snap at me Blaine!" He withdrew his hands, letting them flop by his sides. "I was only trying to help you."

"Look, i'm sorry okay? I just dont want to talk about it with you, everytime i've tried we've either been interupted or you've gone off, so I give up."

"What? How is this my fault? I didnt know you were trying to talk to me, dont try to make me feel bad."

"I wasnt, I was only saying stuff has gotten in the way, like i'm not meant to say it or something... you know what, forget it."

"For goodness sakes Blaine, you're meant to be my best friend."

"I am! Just because I dont want to tell you about it doesnt mean-"

"-Oh so I have to worry about you and continue to think i've done something wrong do I? Because you're acting if i've done something wrong. Ever since the morning after the night you had that party with the boys upstairs, which was stupid may I add as you could have been caught with that alcohol and expelled, you've been avoiding me and being quieter than usual and I cant think of a reason other than ive done something to upset you.

"No you havent."

"Then why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me?"

"Why is it always about you Kurt? You can be so selfish sometimes!"

Kurt could feel the tears starting to come now, as he stepped back slightly from Blaine. "Yes, I was so selfish when I was getting slushied everyday for being myself and I was so selfish when Karofsky threatened to kill me and I didnt even my Dad because I didnt want to do anything that could make him worse after his heart attack and I was just so damn selfish for wanting to know if my best friend was okay because he wasnt being himself and I was even more selfish for worrying i'd done something wrong so I could make it better!"

He expected the cold without Blaine pressed against him. He expected to miss the contact with his skin. He didnt expect it to feel like someone ripped out a piece of his heart, leaving an ice cold tunnel as Blaine pushed him backwards, tearing himself away as fast as he could.

"Blaine, wait! Please dont-" The door to the common room was slammed shut and he was gone.

Thad frowned and looked up at Kurt through his dark eyelashes as he took a seat behind the long desk next to his fellow senior overseers, Wes and David. "Kurt whats this?"

"I-I dont want to do my duet with Blaine."

"Where is Blaine?" David asked, looking around the choir room. "Has anyone else seen him?"

A chorus of 'no' came from the rest of the Warblers. "You performed it so well last week at the concert rehersal." Thad sighed. "Very well. I'm sure some of the others know your part, it'll be no trouble. Where is Blaine, seriously? This is the second practise he's missed this week."

"We know know you've been covering for him Kurt," David spoke this time, his booming voice echoing round the room.

"I havent been covering for him because I dont know where he is," he muttered in response. "All I know is he's being very un-Blaine and I just dont want him to get into trouble."

"You're a very loyal friend Kurt but if he doesnt come soon we'll have to give his part away too. He's never been like this before, did you two have an argument or something?"

"You could say that." Kurt mumbled.

"Blaine has been acting strangley for days." Wes interjected. "You two really need to sort this out."

Kurt passed his dollars over and took his coffee off the counter, thankyou the barista. He had come to the Lima Bean to grab a coffee, he knew some of the boys were going after they finished classes so he was hoping Blaine was one of them. As he began to make his way to the window table he swivled, hearing his name being called, "Hey, Kurt, over here!

Jeff and Nick were sat together drinking coffee in the corner. "Hey guys."

He aproached their table, and Nick indicated for him to sit. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yes, I suppose. How are you both?"

"Oh, we're fine thanks."

"Have either of you two seen Blaine around?"

Jeff shifted on his chair and shot a look at Nick. "Um, yes."

"Was he going back to Dalton?"

Nick shook his head, causing Kurt to raise an eyebrow in question. "He was um, on a date actually. They just stopped in here for a coffee to go."

"Mmmhhrm-what?" He choked on his mouthful of coffee, spluttering, spilling it down his jacket.He ignored Nick asking if he was okay, and managed to stammer out, "A-a d-date? What? With who?"

"A Dalton junior, Chad Michaels." the blond handed him a napkin to wipe the front of his jacket. "Chad asked him out a while ago and he said no but aparently this morning he just changed his mind."

"He didnt tell me, he hasnt spoken to me since..."

"Since what?" Nick asked.

"He was acting strangley before, he's been tearful and... I dont know. He hasnt been himself but then about 3 nights ago he told me he liked someone and when I asked him who he told me he couldnt do it and left. He hasnt spoken to me since, he's been avoiding me. He hasnt even been in the dorms, his beds been empty and I cant find him anywhere. I dont know where he could have gone."

Jeff frowned at Nick before turning back to Kurt. "Ah, he's been stopping at ours, we assumed you knew."

"He just told us he hadnt been sleeping and needed a change of scene and asked if he could crash at ours for a few nights. We thought he would have told you, you are his best friend after all. That is not like Blaine at all." Nick said, swirling the dregs his coffee around in his cup.

He was trying hard to fight the prickling sensation as the tears threatned to spill from his eyes. "I dont know why he's being like this, I dont know what I did wrong. We havent had many classes together this week so I havent seen much but when I have he's avoided me."

"Oh Kurt, dont you see it?" Nick sighed sympathetically, watching Kurts puzzled expression. "Dont you see the way he looks at you?"

"The way he... what?"

"Jeff, tell him. I'm going to get us refills." Nick stood and walked off, shrugging at Jeff before he left.

"Look." Jeffs eyes flickered back to Kurt. "I'm not going to dance around it, you clearly like Blaine." Kurt opened his mouth to protest but Jeff shook his head and laughed. "Dont even deny it Kurt, we know. We also know Blaine feels exactly the same, he doesnt have to tell us because its painfully obvious. Look, Nick is my best friend but we dont act they way you to do like when you hold hands and cuddle and sleep in eachothers beds. You clearly are mad about eachother. I know Blaine well enough to know he's worried that if he tells you how he feels and you feel the same that you'll get bullied even worse than you did at McKinley."

"I, err." Kurt couldnt believe it. Jeff was lying right? "But, if what you say is true... i'm at Dalton you guys wouldnt bully me? This cant be true, he wouldnt like me like that, he... He's Blaine!"

"Probably means out on the street. He was telling me how shaken he gets when he hears you having nightmares about Karofsky, when you're shouting and stuff. I mean, out in the real world sometimes it can be worse. Disgusting I know but... he's just on this date because he's trying to see if he can put you aside in his head an move on."

Kurt groaned and slumped over the table, resting his chin in his hand. "What am I supposed to do Jeff?"

"Well, just dont look behind you because he's come in... Hey I said dont look!"

Kurt sat up immediatley. "Sorry! When you say dont look, it usually means I look. Is he alone?"

"As far as I can tell, he's in line chatting to Nick."

"Worst date ever." Blaine grumbled, slumping against the pillar.

"That was a short date, you were only half way through it when you came in for coffee, what, 15 minutes ago?"

"He was just so annoying! I escaped early, said I wasnt feeling too well."

Nick smirked then turned to the counter, to order his coffee. "He was no Kurt Hummel then?"

He stood up straight, hazel eyes wide."Wait, what?"

"Oh come on Blaine, dont deny it. Its obvious, we've all been making wagers behind your back. Who'll make the first move and when, y'know those sorts. We'd just wish you'd hurry up and get together already 'cause i've got some big money on you mate!"

"Thanks for that." He mumbled crossing his arms.

"You are such a liar you know? You're only staying at ours because you want to avoid Kurt." he smirked, shifting his weight. "We know about how you ran out on him. He's really upset you know?"

"I need to tell him how I feel, I need to apologise! I just cant have him hurt Nick. You saw what Karofsky did to him, the state he was in when he came to Dalton. For months he flinched pretty much everytime we raised our hands to wave or something like that. I know it could be worse if we were together."

"Nothing is ever perfect Blaine. You take chances and if you encounter someone like Karofsky, god forbid, you can support eachother and find away to get around it, to stop it." He reached for the cup the barista placed on the counter and handed her his money. "I know stuff like that is hard but its just a small price for being with the person you love and what is more important than love?"

Blaine grabbed Nicks elbow, steering him to back near the pillar. "What the hell have I been doing?" He hissed. "I only went on this stupid date because I wanted to get Kurt out my head, move on. Why the hell didnt you talk to me before? Why couldnt have I figured this out for myself? I was so obsessed with protecting Kurt, ive been so stressed because I need him in my life and I couldnt even- ugh! It was pathetic, i'm pathetic."

"Yes you are." came a cold voice from behind him.

Blaine span, his hazel eyes meeting blue. "Kurt? I didnt realise you were here!"

"I was sat with Jeff having coffee. I only came to say goodbye to Nick because i'm going back to Dalton. I do hope you enjoyed your little date, have a good christmas. See you later Nick."

"Kurt, dont!" He called but Kurt was out the door straight away.

Nick clapped a hand on his back. "Just leave it mate, he's been so upset and I know he's just angry about your date. He'll come around."