“A new arrival!” A voice slurred.

“I think he’s fainted, sweetheart are you alright.” The man from the forest asked. A hand touched his face. Blaine opened his eyes; the man from the forest was kneeling beside him.

“What..? What happened?” he asked groggily as he rubbed his forehead.

A skeleton was suddenly beside the man “By Jove! Looks like we’ve got ourselves a breather!”

“Does he have a dead brother?” Another skeleton asked. Two skeletal children ran up and poked his side “He’s still soft”

The skeleton from before stood up on a table with a pint of some sort of drink. “A toast then! To the newlyweds!” The man from the forest pulled him to his feet.

“Newlyweds?” Blaine asked the man.

“In the woods, you said your vows so perfectly.” The man replied happily.

“I did?” Blaine’s eyes grew wide, “I did.” He began to hit his head on the bar. “Wake up, wake up!”

A head, carried by a group of roaches appeared next to Blaine. “‘Ello my name is Paul I am zee ‘ead waiter here. I ‘vill be creating your ‘vedding feast!”

Blaine backed away, “Keep back!” he exclaimed, seeing a sword handle next to him, he grabbed it and held it out in front of him, however the man it was embedded in went with it. “I have a-a dwarf…and I’m not afraid to use him. I need some questions, now.”

“Answers,” the dwarf supplied “I think you mean answers.”

“Yes, answers.” Blaine replied. “What’s going on? Where am I?” He turned to the man, confused. “Who are you?”

“Well, that’s kind of a long story.” The man said, looking at his feet.

“But what a story it is! A tragic tale of passion, romance and a murder most foul.” A skeleton drawled from beside the bar. “Hit it boys!”

 “No, no, don’t.” The man said. “I’d like to tell him myself, I’m sorry.”

 “That’s alright, go for it.” The skeleton said happily, walking over to a corpse and talking her up.

“Do you mind if we sit?” The man asked quietly.

“S-sure” Blaine stuttered. He let the man lead him by his hand to a quiet corner of the bar. Blaine sat down and the man sat across from him.

“Okay, where to begin…” the man said pensively. “So, one day, I was at a shop in the market place and this man I’d never seen before walked my way. He seemed nice, so we talked and went out for some wine. He was attractive, and I guess you can say that I fell hard and fast for him. I am homosexual, which as you probably know is a big problem, so he and I came up with a plan and we were going to elope.” He paused as a waiter brought a couple of drinks over; he thanked him and took a sip of his own. “Um, so we didn’t tell a soul, of course that wasn’t a problem for me, because I was the black sheep of the village. I took my father’s suit design and fashioned it in white for myself, picked flowers from my garden. I took my family heirlooms and some gold with me and left.”

“You didn’t take any food or water with you?” Blaine asked.

“I figured that you didn’t need much when you were really in love. But anyway, we planned to meet at the old oak tree next to the graveyard. It was just after midnight, and I was there. But he wasn’t. So I waited and waited. And I saw a shadow, and assumed it was him. I called out, but no one answered. My heart was beating so fast. I saw a man, but before I knew who it was, everything went black.”

Blaine looked at the man sympathetically and covered his hand with his own. “You don’t need to continue, if you don’t want to.”

“There’s not much more to tell. I woke up after and noticed my gold and my heirlooms were missing. I also noticed that my heart wasn’t beating. I was down here, and everyone around me was so kind, and sympathetic. But, I made a vow as I lay dying under that tree. That I would wait for true love to set me free, you know, wait for someone to ask for my hand. I figured it would never happen, but then you came along and gave me some hope.” The man smiled at him.

This was all happening too fast for Blaine. “Listen, I’m so sorry but I just…I…” he stood and ran off, not knowing where he was going.

“Rachel come away from the window.” Lady Berry scolded. Rachel had been on the lookout for her best friend since he ran out of the rehearsal.  “I’m sure he’ll be back shortly.”

“He’s terrified of the dark…” Rachel whispered. She sat on the couch with Blaine’s parents when there was a knock at the door.

“Enter.” Lord Berry called.

A man entered. He looked to be only a few years older than Rachel.

“Ah Lord Karofsky, I trust your room is to your liking?” Lady Berry inquired.

“Definitely Lady Berry, and I apologize again for being a day early, I never was good with remembering dates. You are a most gracious hostess.” He paused. “This is why it pains me to be the bearer of such bad news.”

“Bad news?” Rachel perked up. The town crier entered the room bowing to them all.

“Would you care to repeat tonight’s headlines for us?” Karofsky asked.

“Hear ye! Hear ye!” The crier began in a loud voice. “Blaine Anderson seen this night on the bridge in the arms of a mystery man! The dark-haired Casanova and Master Anderson slipped away into the night! And now for the weather, scattered showers-“

“Enough, that will be all, thank you.” Karofsky dismissed the crier.

“A mystery man?! Our reputation is going to be ruined!  Wait until the village knows that our son is homosexual. We will never be able to show our faces again in public. We must find him, and take him to Doctor Wright.” Mrs. Anderson cried.

“Do call for me if you need my assistance, in any way.” Karofsky said as he exited the room.

“Good heavens what should we do?” Lady Berry asked.

“Fetch my musket.” Lord Berry sighed. Rachel wondered why he wasn’t more upset.

“The town crier probably just had a slow news day. You know how it is you need a little something to cry about.” Mr. Anderson attempted to calm the room.

“Regardless, we are one groom short for the wedding tomorrow.” Lord Berry reminded.

“Maybe we don’t need to have a wedding! Blaine and I would definitely be okay with it!” Rachel exclaimed, but again, she was ignored.

“A most scandalous embarrassment for us all.” Lady Berry commented bitterly. “You have until dawn to find him. Til dawn.”

“Blaine, darling, where are you?” the man called.

“If you ask me,” a maggot on his shoulder spoke up “Your boyfriend’s pretty jumpy.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, he’s my husband.” The man reminded the maggot. “Blaine, sweetheart, where’ve you gone? Blaine?!” he kept calling.

“I see him! There he goes!” the maggot announced, the man turned and saw Blaine as he ran down the corridor.

Blaine ran down a narrow hallway. He was desperate to find a way out. “Blaine?” the man’s voice carried through the hall. He saw the man enter the hallway and hid in a coffin nearby. The man walked past him, calling his name.

“Married huh? I’m a widower myself.” Said a black widow spider that appeared on his shoulder. He jumped and swatted her away and ran in the opposite direction from which he came. “How rude, he went that way!” Damn spider selling him out.

 Blaine ran, and encountered another skeleton; he took him by the shoulders “There’s been a mistake! I’m not dead!” he said as he shook his frame, the skeleton’s head fell off. Blaine screeched and continued running. “Blaine?” he heard the man cry.

He pushed himself harder, running faster and ending up at a dead end. There was a large wall in front of him. “No no no” he muttered. He began to attempt to climb the wall using the metal polls right above his head.

“Hey!” the man’s voice sounded above him. “You could’ve used the stairs silly!” he offered Blaine his hand, and pulled him up. They were outside, on some balcony. “Isn’t the view beautiful? It takes my breath away…well, it would if I had any.” The man giggled.  “Isn’t it romantic?” he smiled softly as he took Blaine’s hand. Blaine stepped back a little.

“Look, um, I’m terribly sorry for what’s happened to you, and I’d really love to help….but I have to get home.” Blaine replied, dodging the question.

“Well, this is your home now.” The man offered quietly.

“I don’t even know your name.” Blaine admitted.

“That’s a great way to start a marriage.” The maggot sighed. “Shut up!” He let the man lead him to sit down on a wooden bench overlooking the view.

“It’s Kurt.” The man-Kurt-replied.

“Kurt.” Blaine repeated. Blaine took a moment to look at Kurt. He was quite sure that Kurt had been, if at all possible, even more attractive while he was alive. But even now, Kurt had a special something to him. He’s dead, Blaine.

Kurt cleared his throat. “I-um, I almost forgot, I have something for you.” Kurt smiled, as he reached down and took a wrapped box from beneath the bench. “It’s a wedding present.”

Blaine smiled at Kurt as he took the box. He opened it to reveal a skeleton of some type of animal. “T-thank you” Blaine said in a tight, restrained voice. The box began to shake and he put the lid back on it to try and contain it. The box shot off his lap, all the bones spilled onto the ground. And then those bones connected to form a barking dog. Or, the skeleton of one. The dog barked happily and picked up a collar. It was a familiar collar. The dog brought the collar to Blaine, he took it from his mouth and noticed how familiar it was.

“Scraps?” Blaine asked quietly. The dog barked and chased its tail happily. “Scraps! Oh my god! It’s my dog scraps!” he got down off of the bench to pat the dog.

Kurt smiled softly, he did look pretty beautiful like that, “I knew you’d be happy to see him.” Kurt sighed as he rested his hands on Blaine’s shoulders.

“Who’s my good boy?” Blaine asked Scraps, prompting a bark from him. Blaine took him through all the tricks he had taught him when he was a child prompting gorgeous laughter from Kurt. Blaine told scraps to Roll over, sit… “Alright, Scraps! Play dead!” the dog turned its head to the side curiously.

“Oh…sorry.” Blaine smirked bashfully.

“What a cutie.” Kurt smiled at the dog.

Blaine sat back up on the bench and knocked shoulders with Kurt “You should have seen him with fur.” Blaine scratched the side of Scraps’ skull. “Mother never approved of Scraps jumping up like this. But then again, she never really approved of anything.”

Kurt looked at him nervously. “Do you think she’d have approved of me?”

Blaine laughed humorlessly. “You’re lucky you’ll never have to meet her.” Then, Blaine had an idea. “Well, actually… Now that you mention it, I think you should. In fact, since we’re you know, m-married you should definitely meet her. And my father too. We should go and see them right now.”

Kurt stood up. “What a fantastic idea! Where are they buried?”

Blaine looked down sadly. He’d always detested his parents. But, he missed his father.

“What? What is it?” Kurt asked, concerned for his husband.

“They’re um, they’re not from around here.” Blaine sighed. Maybe this plan wouldn’t work after all.

“Where are they?” Kurt prompted. Blaine shyly pointed upward with his finger. “Oh…they’re still alive.”

“I’m afraid so.” Blaine said, ironically, there had been any times recently when he’d wished that his parents would keel over and die.

“Well, that is a problem.” Kurt said sadly. Scraps started barking, Kurt perked up. Apparently corpses and dogs understood each other…fantastic. “What’s that Scraps?” Kurt asked the dog as it barked again. “We couldn’t possibly.” Another bark. “Oh, well if you put it like that…”

“What?” Blaine asked, finally breaking his confused silence.

“Miss Sylvester.” Kurt replied.

“Miss Sylvester? Anyone home?” Kurt called in the empty room. Blaine had never been good with creepy houses so he had Kurt’s hand in a vice grip as he hid behind him. A woman came down the stairs slowly while reading a book. “There you are!”

“Ah porcelain, there you are.” She exclaimed.

“I’ve brought my husband, Blaine.” Kurt said has he brought Blaine out from behind him.

“A husband? Good on’ya porcelain.” She winked, Kurt looked down bashfully, Blaine imagined that if Kurt were alive he would have blushed.

“Plea-sure to meet you, ma’am.”  Blaine’s voice cracked in fear. Kurt stroked Blaine’s arm in reassurance.

“We need to go up. Upstairs?” Kurt told Miss Sylvester. “To visit the land of the land of the living.”

“Land of the living?” Miss Sylvester asked in confusion. “Oh, my dear Porcelain.”

“Please, Miss Sylvester.” Kurt pleaded.

“Now Porcelain, why go up there, when people are dying to get down here?” Kurt didn’t know what to say to her, so Blaine decided to break his silence.

“Please ma’am I beg you to help, it means so much to me-us.” Blaine corrected himself, Kurt didn’t seem to notice.

“I don’t know, it’s just not natural.” Miss Sylvester. She began to walk away, Kurt dropped Blaine’s hand to put his hand on her shoulder. She turned around to look at him.

“Please Miss Sylvester, surely there’s something you can do.” Kurt asked again. Blaine fully expected Miss Sylvester to turn them away.

“Let me see what I can do.” Miss Sylvester stated, she turned to her bookshelf. “Where did I put that book…aha! Here it is.” She sat behind her desk. “You’re in need of a Ukrainian Haunting spell; just the thing for quick trips.”

Kurt leaned his head on Blaine’s shoulder affectionately while they waited for Miss Sylvester to mix the concoction she was working on. “I’m so glad you thought of this.” He said quietly, the hand on his arm moving up and down softly.

Blaine felt a prang of guilt at the gesture. “Me too.” Miss Sylvester finished making her potion and drank it. She turned to the crow on her desk and extracted an egg from it.

“Here we have it. Ready?” Blaine nodded. “Just remember when you want to come back, say Hopscotch.”

“Hopscotch?” Kurt inquired happily, enjoying the way the word felt on his lips

“That’s it. Good luck.” Miss Sylvester wished them, and cracked the egg over their heads.