After that day by the tree, Kurt avoids Blaine at all costs. When he sees him in a room or notices him entering a room he is in, he turns around and walks away. He's avoided eating dinner with everybody and choosing to stay in the kitchen with Tilly.

At the moment he sits at the island eating dinner earlier than usual.

"This is the fifth day you've eaten in here with me," Tilly points out as she sets a bowl of soup down in front of him. "You gonna tell me why?"

"I'm avoiding Blaine."

"What happened now?"

"Nothing really happened. He just..." Kurt trails off and lets go of his spoon, hearing it hit the side of the bowl with a ting.

"What?"

"He...The way he looks at me, Till," he sighs, picturing how Blaine looked at him by that tree; the intensity and want in his eyes. "Like I'm something he eagerly wants but can't have."

"Why would he think he couldn't have you?"

"I don't know." Kurt glances at Tilly and shrugs his shoulders. "God knows I would give him anything he wants from me if he asked for it."

"Why do you think he's holding back?" Tilly curiously asks.

"I wish I knew." Kurt drops his head in his hands and groans.

"Well, enough worry with that for today," Tilly says as she comfortingly rubs his back. "Now eat, because I haven't told you that you've lost too much weight since you last visited."

Kurt chuckles at that, lifting his head and going about eating the bowl of soup sitting in front of him.

After eating, Kurt runs upstairs and heads for his bathroom. Quickly stripping naked, he steps into the shower and under the hot water.

Closing his eyes and feeling the water pour down around him, he thinks about Blaine and how it would be to have him in here with him. He thinks about the slide of bodies together made easier by the water; thinks about the closeness of Blaine to him as he gives himself over in a way he has never before.

Opening his eyes and realizing he's hard, he rids his mind of those thoughts. Wrapping a hand around himself, all it takes is one stroke before he's spilling over his fist, biting his lip to stop from saying Blaine's name. Finishing off, he goes about cleaning himself.

Stepping back into his room, removing the towel from around his hips, he lifts it to dry off his hair. Standing there naked, the sun falling into the room and warming his skin, he thinks about Blaine telling him that what happened was four years ago and things change.

He wants to believe him, and on some level he does, but he needs Blaine to believe himself when he says the words. It's easy to say words, but he wants to see Blaine put some action behind them.

Turning around and instantly dropping his towel in shock, he flushes at finding Blaine standing stock still a few steps into his room and staring at him. Kurt knows he's been standing there for some time based on the bulge in his jeans. Getting a small thrill at knowing he was watching him, he decides to see if Blaine has changed from that boy in the kitchen four years ago. He probably shouldn't do it, but he needs to know; needs to know if Blaine is finally willing to cross that fucking stupid line he set.

"Blaine?" He tentatively starts taking a few steps to Blaine, noticing his eyes drift lower and shoot back up. Being careful not to say or blurt anything to make Blaine realize what he's doing.

"I...I'm sorry."

"Why?" Kurt steps right in front of him, placing his hands on Blaine's shoulders.

"I...I shouldn't be w-watching you." Blaine stumbles a bit over his words. Kurt noticing him get further flustered.

"I've seen you watch me before, Blaine," Kurt softly says. "I've noticed your eyes on me when you think I'm not paying attention. I know the thoughts you think of when your vision lingers longer than need be."

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbles again.

"Don't be." Kurt runs one of his hands down Blaine's arm and grabs his hand. Lifting it and placing it at his lower back, feeling Blaine press in, he can feel himself getting hard. "I would think about how you looked at me when I touched myself. They way your eyes would roam over my body, as if you were imaging how I would look underneath you as you fucked me." Kurt looks at him with innocent eyes, enjoying this more than he should. "Just ask, Blaine. Ask and it's yours. Ask and I'll give you what we both so desperately want." Kurt stares him straight in his eyes, seeing them blown wide with lust and want and need. "Ask."

Blaine's lips on his are firm and strong and soft.

This kiss is so much different from their first kiss four years previous. Where that kiss was between two boys, this kiss is between two men who are giving and taking in abundance.

Kurt presses close to Blaine's body, feeling his other hand go between his shoulder blades and dig deep into flesh. He parts his lips and welcomes the thrust of Blaine's silky tongue into his mouth. Massaging their tongues together, sucking on it before Blaine pulls it away, he runs his hands under and up Blaine's shirt.

The feel of lean muscles beneath his hands has him moaning and wanting to explore Blaine's whole body with his hands and tongue and kiss every inch of tanned skin that has eluded him for so long.

Sliding his hand to Blaine's back and down, he grabs at his ass and pushes his hips forward, wanting him to feel just how much he wants him. But that seems to trigger something in Blaine because he is pulling away and putting space between them.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why?"

"Because..." Blaine trails off.

Kurt just stands there shocked and pissed off, angry Blaine can't even give him a god damn plausible reason for saying no. "Guess you lied about things changing since four years ago!" he maliciously says. Quickly dressing and putting his boots on, he needs to get out of here before he starts another fight with Blaine.

"Where you going?" Blaine asks, Kurt noticing how upset he sounds.

"Where do you think?" he snidely says. He stands up and runs his fingers through his hair a few times. "It's pretty fucking obvious I'm not getting laid if I stay here. So, I'm going where I know someone will offer." Grabbing his jacket and shrugging it on, he looks to Blaine and sees how heartbroken he is. Once again, Kurt is confused by his actions and subsequent emotions of hurt. If he wants to avoid being heartbroken, Kurt doesn't understand why he just doesn't give in to what he wants. "Don't tell me you're upset again?" he asks with a small chuckle.

"Can you blame me? You're leaving to be with someone else!"

"I keep offering and you keep refusing. Don't be mad at me for getting it somewhere else." With that, Kurt turns around and walks away. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

~

Still nursing his first vodka on the rocks, Kurt sits at the crowded bar in a mess of emotions.

He surely thought that after Blaine had kissed him that his night would be ending like he's wanted for years. But instead, Blaine had pulled away, apologizing and saying that shouldn't have happened, again.

Just one night is all he asks for. One night Blaine admits to himself about how he truly feels for him and they lose hours in each other. But once again, he was too scared and Kurt was left alone with a racing mind and heavy heart.

Taking a sip of his drink, tasting how watered down it now is, he pushes it away from himself.

"Can I buy you another?"

He looks over to where the voice came from.

The guy is hot by Kurt's standards. Tall with broad shoulders and messy, blonde hair, eyes the prettiest fucking green he's ever seen, and a body like a fucking model. His smile is charming and alluring, just enough to pull someone in and keep them entranced. Kurt can see himself going to this guy's house and fucking his brains out, but something stops him. Something makes him refuse the offer.

"No, thanks," he says as he throws some cash on top of the bar.

"Since drinks are off the table. How about I take you home and fuck you?" Handsome McGhee suggests.

"Sorry, I don't do that," Kurt replies, pulling on his jacket.

"What? Have meaningless sex."

"No," Kurt huffs, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shaking his head at the guy. God knows he's practically the king of meaningless sex. Almost all the time it's simply about getting off. He picks someone up and has a fun night. "No one fucks me. So, I'm not interested." With that, he walks away and to the door, deciding that tonight was not the night for him.

Closing his bedroom door behind him thirty minutes later, he starts to kick off his boots and strip down to his briefs. Falling in bed, and climbing under the covers, he is ready to pass out and put this day behind him.

~

He stands there and watches him walk away and wonders if he'll ever get used to having to witness that. He knows he's being stupid. Right then would have been perfect moment for him to say fuck it and pick Kurt up in his arms and walk the few feet to his bed. But once again he couldn't do it.

The combination of nerves and being scared had him holding back and taking a those steps back from Kurt. He's scared of his parents finding out the truth and treating him like they treated Kurt. Scared of the world he knows being turned upside down because he wants someone so badly it could change everything.

Sitting down on Kurt's bed, running his hands over the soft sheets, he thinks about everything holding him back from being with Kurt. He thinks about his parents, being with Kennedy, and being mostly happy with where he is. But then he thinks about how he knows being with Kurt would result in a happiness he has never felt before, how it would result in him no longer being upset and jealous and yearning for something he's wanted more than anything else in his life.

He knows he soon needs to make a choice to a question that keeps getting asked and he has yet to answer.

Going downstairs for dinner, Blaine plops down in his chair upset and not hungry.

Thanking Tilly when she sets his food down in front of him, he picks up a spoon and starts moving the food around on his bowl. Thinking about Kurt, he gets angry and jealous over the fact that he could be fucking some guy right now all because he's being an idiot.

"Blaine, sweetie," his mom says in a comforting voice. "What's wrong?"

'Other than the fact that I'm jealous as fuck because Kurt is off fucking some stranger when it could be me? Then I'm peachy.' Of course he doesn't say it. He wishes he could; could tell them about who he really is. But, knowing how they are, he keeps quite about it all.

"I'm not feeling good," he lies in way of an explanation. "I'm just gonna go upstairs to my room and lie down for the night."

"Okay."

Giving his mom a kiss on the cheek and telling her and his dad goodnight, he heads upstairs. Reaching the top of the stairs, he looks down the hall to Kurt's room. Images of Kurt's beautiful, naked body from less than two hours before flood his mind.

He's seen naked people before and they were nice to behold. Hell, he's seen Kurt in nothing but his underwear and swimtrunks before. But something about Kurt's body now, the expanse of pale, smooth skin and muscles and how much he's grown into his body since he last saw him. He thinks about his long legs and how they would feel wrapped around his waist.

He remembers the look on Kurt's face as he caught him staring, how he first looked surprised and then was pleased to know that he was staring. As if that was more confirmation to Kurt that he wanted him and wants to do this. That shouldn't have been more confirmation. He should have been doing something about his feelings for Kurt for a long time now. If they had been together, him standing there and finding Kurt naked should have been a normal thing for him to see. But, no, he hasn't done anything and seeing Kurt naked for the first time had him speechless and eager to do so many things.

Going to his room, he sags against his door and thinks about how fucking stupid he's being.

Fuck, he wants Kurt. He's wanted him long before that night in the kitchen four years before.

He wants Kurt to do things he's fantasized about for years. Wants to let go of everything that he holds onto and fall into the unknown that he could have with Kurt. He's tired of denying himself what he wants just because he's scared of what others, mainly his parents, will say and do.

Pushing himself off the door, he walks to his bathroom and undresses. Stepping into the shower, the hot water feeling great as it hits his body, he goes through the routine of a shower. Drying off and pulling on his underwear, he goes back to his room and lies down.

Tossing and turning, too anxious to sleep, all he can think about is who the person is that Kurt went home with. Flashes of Kurt's naked body reenter his mind. How he would look above him as he moved inside him. How it feel to have his body weighing his down. How it would be to have Kurt beneath him as he explored his body with his hands and mouth.

Lying in bed, unable to rid his mind of thoughts of Kurt's naked body and what he could do to him, he feels his heart soar at the sound of heavy boots hitting against stairs. The sound has him not able to hold back a smile at knowing Kurt didn't go home with someone like he hinted he would before he left earlier. He hears him walk down the hall and go to his room, closing his door behind him.

Sitting up throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he drops his head in his hands and breathes. He thinks about everything Kurt and him have been through not doing anything about this deep connection between them.

He's tired of being jealous of the guys that get to have Kurt. Tired of wanting Kurt so badly and not doing anything about it. Tired of playing this fucking game that he purposely keeps losing for what he thought was for the best.

He's just fucking tired of it all.

Fuck, he wants to be the one in bed with Kurt and pleasing him. He wants to hear his name fall from Kurt's lips as they move together in ways he longed imagined. He wants and wants and wants but never taking what could so easily be his.

Finally saying fuck it, Blaine stands up and grabs his robe. Slipping it on and tying the belt, he feels the butterflies in his stomach and hands slightly shake as nerves overtake him. He's doing this. He's letting go of everything that's holding him back and diving in to what this is between Kurt and him.

"Don't be nervous." He tries to tell himself to calm his racing heart, but not feeling a difference. "Don't be nervous."

Taking one final deep breath, he ignores his nerves and opens his door.

~

It's twenty minutes later when he hears the soft click of his door closing and being locked. The padding of feet is heard as he sits up and sees the silhouette of a body he would recognize anywhere.

Blaine stops in front of his bed and unties his robe, letting it fall to a heap on the floor, and climbs into bed with him.

Kurt welcomes his warmth and the weight of him as he lies on top of him.

He isn't sure if he's dreaming, or why this could be happening. He isn't sure if some terrible joke is currently being played on him at the moment. But he quickly snaps out of that and back to a reality that has Blaine lying on top of him just like he's imagined so many times before. "...What?" he says after realizing Blaine said something.

"I'm tired of walking away from you. From not letting this happen as it should." He hears Blaine's voice falter with nerves and excitement. "I'm staying this time."

"Really?" Kurt asks, unable to believe this actually happening. He sees Blaine nod his head and turn his lips up into a small smile.

"You said all I had to do was ask, right?"

Kurt nods his head at the question in response. "Ask me and you can have it," he reminds him.

"Will you fuck me?" Blaine asks with a slightly shaky voice.

Like a flash, he's grabbing at the back of Blaine's neck and pulling him down into the kind of kiss that he's never experienced before.