Kurt is sprawled out on the couch, even though Sarah constantly tells him not to lie on it, watching Family Guy when he hears a voice he doesn't recognize.

Shutting off the TV and walking to where he hears people talking, he comes to the small library and finds everybody, plus a girl he can instantly guess who she is.

She is tall and lithe with long, brown hair that goes past her shoulders, her eyes almost as blue as his and smile that lights up the whole fucking room. Eyes landing on Blaine next to her, he sees him and notices he's about to say something, but quickly closing his mouth again.

"Oh, my god!" the girl says when she notices Kurt. She jumps up and runs to him, surprising him by throwing herself into his arms, making him uncomfortable. "You must be Kurt. Blaine has told me a lot about you." She pulls back and beams at him. "I'm Kennedy."

"Nice to meet you," Kurt tries to say as politely as he can.

"It's great to finally meet you. Blaine never stops talking about you. I thought I would never meet the ever elusive Kurt that Blaine clearly cares for." Kennedy smiles at him with her bright smile, Kurt quickly glancing to Blaine over her shoulder, seeing him shrug his shoulders. "My, you sure are gorgeous."

"Um...Thanks; I guess." Kurt wants to turn around and leave and not have to deal with this right now. "You're only the third person to tell me that." He darts his eyes to Blaine and sees him relive when he told him that in the kitchen that night four years ago. Kurt can still feel as his heart skipped a beat, a blush stained his cheeks, and he was left momentarily speechless as Blaine looked at him in a way that backed up what he just said.

"Well," Kennedy says, pulling his mind of that thought and his eyes from Blaine. "More people need to tell you because it's the truth."

"Kennedy. That's an interesting name. What's the story behind that one?"

"When everyone was swooning over John Lennon, my momma was infatuated with John F. Kennedy. When I was born, my daddy refused to let her name me Jacqueline, Jack for short like they called him. So, they agreed on Kennedy."

"It's a very unique name," Kurt says as he minutely smiles at her.

Letting Kennedy walk to Sarah when she calls her, Kurt walks over to the couch Blaine is sitting on and sits down next to him.

"So...she's pretty," Kurt politely says.

"Yeah," Blaine uninterestedly replies.

"Don't try to be too enthusiastic when you talk about her, Blaine," Kurt tries to joke, but it coming out a bit harsher than intended.

"She's not the one occupying my thoughts with the mere presence of them in the room."

Kurt closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart at the comment. Opening his eyes and looking to Blaine, seeing him shyly smiling at him, he shivers when Blaine throws his arm back on the couch and purposely brushes his fingers along his neck.

The small contact is enough for Kurt to feel like a bolt of electricity just ran through his body. It makes him feel more alive than he's felt in months. The simple brush of fingers has him hating himself for how much he wants this.

He hates that he wants Blaine so much it occupies his mind all the time. He hates that he doesn't care that Blaine's girlfriend is less than five feet from them but all he can think about is Blaine continuing to do what he's doing.

But he gathers his strength, and knows he can't let this go on when he knows how Blaine is.

"Don't do that!" he demands under his breath as Blaine skims his fingers over the back of his neck again.

He watches as Kennedy stands a few feet in front of him and talks with Sarah and John. They don't suspect a thing as John swirls his glass of Scotch and Sarah tells Kennedy about something.

"Why?" Blaine quietly asks.

"Because it's confusing for me," Kurt tells him. "In the next moments you'll realize what you're doing and pull away."

"What if I'm learning to stay?"

Opening his mouth to tell Blaine to stop; to stop saying things he wants to hear, to stop touching him in a way that has him crossing his legs to hide the hard on he's getting, to just stop making him want him more. But, instead, he says, "I don't know if I can believe that."

"Dinner is ready," Tilly announces a few seconds later as Kurt sees Blaine try to say something back.

Thanking the high heavens, Kurt stands up and looks at Tilly as everybody walks ahead of him; he mouths the words help me, making her hold back her laugh.

Sitting down in his chair, seeing Kennedy sit next to Blaine, Kurt grabs the glass of red wine and drains it in one drink. Already knowing this is going to be a long dinner.

"So, Kurt," Kennedy says after they get served. "Tell me more about yourself?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Blaine tells me you came out at sixteen." Kurt can practically hear Sarah roll her eyes without looking, and John's scoff is loud enough to be heard by their neighbors. "How has that been?"

"As you can tell it hasn't been sunshine and daisies and prancing through fields." Kurt glares at John, literally saying fuck you with his eyes. "Mommy and daddy dearest here don't like that they've adopted a son that would rather be with men than women."

"My uncle is gay," Kennedy says in a comforting voice. "Trust me when I say there are supportive people that are there for you."

At that Kurt thinks of Tilly and looks to Blaine, who shoots him a smile. He sees him lean over and whisper something into Kennedy's ear, seeing her nod her head in understanding.

"Blaine tells me you draw," she says, Kurt knowing Blaine told her to change the topic of conversation.

"I used to. Haven't drawn anything in almost four years." Kurt grabs a dinner roll from the basket sitting on the table and tears a piece off and eats it.

"Why not? What happened?" Kennedy asks genuinely interested to know.

Kurt just glances at her and doesn't answer, taking another bite of the bread. How does he go about saying "I offered myself to Blaine four years ago, and when he walked away a piece of me died. Too bad it was my creative piece." Yeah, he thinks, a bit much to reveal to the girlfriend the first time you meet her.

"So, Mrs. Anderson," Kennedy happily says after realizing Kurt won't answer her question.

"Please, call me Sarah, Kennedy. We've known each other long enough to do that."

"So, Sarah," Kennedy says with a smile. "How are the arrangements coming along for the charity auction?"

After that, Kurt watches how Blaine interacts with Kennedy. Sees how happy he is and how she makes him laugh, but not his real laugh that always has him throwing his head back and eyes sparkling.

Stabbing a piece of his steak that Tilly sets down in front of him, he shoves it into his mouth and chews a bit more aggressively than he needs to. He rolls his eyes at Tilly as she sets Kennedy's plate down in front of her.

"Oh, sorry, Kennedy," Tilly says as she takes the plate away. "I forgot you were a vegetarian."

"It's okay, Ms. Gray," Kennedy politely says.

"I don't know about you," Kurt starts to say, stabbing another piece of his steak. "But I love having meat in my mouth."

He laughs when Blaine snorts as he takes a drink of his water, covering his mouth with his hand as water falls out of his mouth; also hearing Tilly chuckle under her breath as she exits the dining room.

"Kurt!" Sarah exclaims, looking at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly hanging open in shock.

"Telling it like it is."

"No more of that at the table," John tells him, voice filled with frustration and anger. "We don't need to hear that."

Kurt looks back to Blaine and finds him intently staring at his mouth as if it he's never seen it before. He can practically see it in Blaine's eyes what he's thinking about; can see him imagining his mouth on him. And Kurt doesn't blame him; he's had those same thoughts thousands of times himself. Images of Blaine laying sprawled out on his bed, panting and moaning as he sucks him off flash across his mind, and Kurt bites his lip at the thought, seeing Blaine stare at his lip as he releases it a bit redder.

"Blaine?" Kurt hears Kennedy call him, breaking his attention and making him look to her.

"I'm sorry, what?" he says out of confusion.

Kurt goes back to finishing his dinner and barely paying attention to Blaine and Kennedy discussing with Sarah the charity auction party she is having at the end of the summer.

Standing close to the entrance after dinner, making sure not to be seen, Kurt listens in as Blaine says goodbye to Kennedy.

"I really enjoyed meeting Kurt," Kennedy says with her bubbly voice. "Is he always so closed like that?"

"You have to know him for some time before he even trusts himself to attempt to let you in," Blaine tells her, Kurt agreeing.

He rarely lets anyone in; rarely trusts people enough to let them in. He hides behind his walls he's so skillfully built over the years. Hides so no one can come in and hurt him. Only Blaine and Tilly are the two people that he has let in, and so far one of those people is managing to break his heart he should have guarded better. He knew better after what happened with the Anderson's to know he shouldn't have let Blaine in so easily.

"He's also very...snarky."

"That's Kurt through and through."

Kurt smiles at how true that is, also.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, I guess," Kennedy says.

"Yeah."

"I love you."

Kurt waits and listens for Blaine's reply; feels his heart hammering in his chest at what Blaine will say. He knows he can leave and not submit himself to this kind of torture; leave and pretend that Blaine doesn't reply. But he doesn't. He stays and feels his heart drop at Blaine easily saying the words back to Kennedy.

It's then he knows he's in love with a man who will never love him back like he wants.

Heading for the backyard and walking down the terrace to the grounds, he goes up to his favorite tree as a kid. The treehouse that was once there for Blaine and him no longer there, but the tire swing still hangs from one of the branches. Thinking back to being eleven and pushing Blaine in it, rushing to his side when he stood on top and held tight to the rope and swung but slipping and breaking his arm. That was the first time he realized he had a crush on Blaine. Seeing him hurting and wanting to hold him, comfort him; to kiss away his pain. That was when everything slowly started to change for him.

Sitting in the tire swing and barely pushing himself, he thinks about how hard he tried to hate Kennedy, but he can't. Even though he ignored her as much as he could, he saw how much of an amazing person she was. How sweet and kind and nice and girl next door she was. He saw how perfect she was for Blaine, and that tears him up inside. He also noticed how happy the 'rents were at having Blaine be with her: their perfect son with the perfect girl.

"Want a push?" He closes his eyes and breathes at the sound of Blaine's voice so close to his ear, nodding his head.

Feeling Blaine's hands at his lower back as he pushes him sends sparks all through his body. It makes him think how it would feel to have him touching him all over his body; and that thought alone is turning him on. Looking at Blaine when he swings around, their eyes locking and seeing how fucking happy he manages to look at being here with him. Sees how he looks so much more fucking happy than he did with Kennedy. Blaine looks at him like he's some fucking treasure that is more precious than anything in the world.

Swinging back around, feeling Blaine push him again, Kurt wonders how long he can go on playing tug-of-war with a person who won't doesn't realize what they are doing to him.

Planting his feet on the ground and skidding to a stop, he climbs out of the tire swing and turns to Blaine.

"She's great, Blaine," he says with a breaking heart and a forced smile. He says it just to be nice, not really knowing Kennedy well enough to decide if he likes her or not. He knows it could be easy to hate her just because Blaine is with her, but he doesn't, because that would be like hating a person because they like the same book he does. It's not just his to love.

So, he feels indifferent to her until he gets to know her a bit more.

"Yeah, she is great." He manages to take a few steps when he hears Blaine softly continue, "But...She's not you, Kurt."

Turning around when Blaine grabs his wrist, he finds him right there, their faces less than a few inches apart. "Please, don't say things like that, because it gives me more hope when I don't need it."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because...You'll always be that boy in the kitchen four years ago who walked away. You'll always walk away. I can't keep going through losing you again and again."

"That was four years ago, Kurt. Things, and people, can change."

Staring into Blaine's eyes and seeing him practically pleading with him to prove his point. Kurt knows he could close the space between them and capture Blaine's soft lips in a kiss; knows he could give in and lose himself in Blaine. But he doesn't. He refuses to do that. He can't, because he is afraid of it all crashing down on Blaine and having him realize maybe he didn't change; maybe he was right all along in walking away.

"I hope she makes you happy." Yanking his wrist away, he walks off angry at himself for loving Blaine and making it hard for him to completely let go of him.

The heartbreak he felt at having to let go of his parents at such a young age would compare nothing to having to let go of Blaine. That's one of the reasons he clings to the hope he has like a life raft.

Finding Tilly in the dining room clearing away plates, he goes up to her and holds her tight, finally letting everything out. He feels her hold him and soothe her arms over his back, whispering that everything will be fine in the end.

"He loves her, Till," Kurt says through his sobs with a shaky voice. "Nothing will be fine."

"Kurt, look at me!" Tilly grabs his face and makes him look at her. "One of these days it's going to click for that boy that he's in love with you, just as you are with him. No girl will stand in the way of how he truly feels for you."

"What makes you think he loves me?" Kurt asks around a hiccup.

"I'm fifty-eight years old, Kurt," Tilly says. "I've been around long enough to know when it's love that fills someone's eyes."

"Maybe you're just going blind," Kurt jokes as a way of lightening the mood a bit.

"Don't make fun, Kurt." Tilly smacks him on his shoulder, although she smiles at him. "It will all turn out for the good. Just you watch."

Kurt wonders if he shouldn't hold his breath on that one.