To Teach is to Learn Twice
aalikane
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To Teach is to Learn Twice: Chapter 4


E - Words: 2,620 - Last Updated: Sep 12, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Jul 20, 2012 - Updated: Sep 12, 2012
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Author's Notes: Now that I'm back in school, I've been managing to write more than ever. Taking a class where everything we've been doing is stuff I've known since 4th grade really helps by giving me 3 hours of writing time per week. So now... you get an update!

It’d been a week since the kiss, and Kurt and Blaine had been able to get passed the awkwardness that accompanied such an event. Now that they had talked it out, they were back to their old routine.� Kurt sitting in Blaine’s classroom after school, grading quizzes that Blaine gave his freshman classes earlier that day while Blaine was busy going over his lesson plans for the following week. Blaine was glad that he and Kurt had worked out whatever awkwardness there was because he missed the afternoons that Kurt would spend with him.� He especially missed hearing Kurt sigh in disgust every few minutes after he finishes grading a quiz.

“Do your honors freshman students even bother trying?” Kurt asked, looking up at Blaine who snickered. It’s one of the reasons he gave all these quizzes to Kurt to grade, it saved Blaine incredibly valuable brain cells.

“Why do you say that?” He asked innocently.

“I’ve graded 8 of these so far and only two of them are passing – and they only passed by the skin of their teeth.” Blaine nodded. He really only had a few classes all day where the majority of students actually cared about their grade in English. Both of his AP English classes, and his Senior Honors class. That was it. No one else really cared, and he couldn’t even describe how much it bothered him that his students could just blow the English language off like they do, but he had yet to find a way to get them to care.

“It’s a grammar quiz, were you as… enthusiastic about grammar as a freshman?” Kurt wavered for a moment, before shaking his head.

“Well… No.� But I knew the difference between the three types of twos, theirs and the difference between you, you’re and your.”

Blaine sighed. “Sadly, many students don’t bother learning grammar.� Especially with the advent of netspeak.” Kurt shuttered at the mention of the word that is quickly destroying the English language.

“Ugh, I can’t stand it.� I’ve blocked more of my friends on Facebook chat for using that than I care to remember.” Blaine smiled. Not because Kurt had blocked his friends on Facebook Chat, no he really could care less about that; it was more about Kurt’s desire to not have to deal with the destruction of the English language that caused his happiness in this situation.

“Glad to hear it.” They both continued with their own respective work, not really talking much until Kurt was finally finished with the quizzes. It was about 45 minutes after he started grading them when he walked up to the desk. Blaine was sitting down, and Kurt placed them on the side of the desk.


“Jer, can I talk to you?” Blaine asks, when he stays afterschool one day, waiting for all the other students to leave the room. It’d been a few weeks since they made love and Blaine had noticed that Jeremiah had been pulling away from Blaine ever since. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to know. He wanted to know why his boyfriend hadn’t been talking to him as much as he used to, hadn’t wanted to spend as much time as they previously had. Blaine hadn’t been back to Jeremiah’s apartment since that night and it worried him.

“What’s up, Blaine?” Jeremiah asked, not bothering to look up from the papers he was grading.

“Are we doing anything this weekend?” He asks tentatively, unsure of the answer he’s going to receive. Jeremiah looks up and quickly sweeps the room to make sure no one was there, even though Blaine had already done so. Seeing that no one was there, Jeremiah sighed.

“Not this weekend.” He said simply, but Blaine wouldn’t have just that without any explanation.

“What’s going on?” He asks, taking the pen out of Jeremiah’s hand and capping it off so Jeremiah had to actually look at him. “Ever since… that night we haven’t done anything together and now you’re blowing off for yet another weekend. Is it something I did?”

�“I can’t do this anymore, Blaine.” Jeremiah tells him, and Blaine goes wide-eyed.� Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t that.�

“What do you mean, you can’t do this anymore? You started all of this!” Jeremiah hangs his head.


“Okay, I’m done with these.” He said, before looking around nervously, like he wanted to say something else, but wasn’t completely sure if he should.

“Already? Thanks” Blaine looked up at Kurt, and saw his face. He recognized it as the face of someone needing to talk, but not wanting to bother anyone.� The face of someone who needs to get something off his chest, but doesn’t think anyone would care to listen. “Is everything alright?”

“Remember when you said you’d be there for me to talk to?” Blaine nodded, he always wished he had someone to talk to when he was a teen, but he never had anyone; aside from Jeremiah and that worked out just swell. “Well I was sort of hoping I could talk to you about something…” Blaine motioned for him to sit on the chair that he constantly had on the side of his desk, specifically for students to sit in when they needed to talk to him.

“What about?” Kurt bit his lip, unsure of how to talk about what was bugging him.

“Okay, so you know how I’m the only gay kid in the school?” Blaine nodded again. “Well apparently, I’m not.”

“Go on.

“No reaction?” Blaine’s face was a stone. It hadn’t changed its expression since before Kurt had sat down.

“Not until I know which one you’re looking for.” Blaine said, with the same even tone that came with such a stoned expression.

“I kinda found out… by accident…”

“What happened?” Kurt looked away. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about this next part. For one thing, he definitely wasn’t happy it happened, but for another he wasn’t angry at the kid. Okay that was a bit of a lie.� He was angry at the kid for bullying Kurt because Kurt was gay, when in reality he was also gay.

“He kissed me.” Kurt whispered, and Blaine nodded silently, unsure of how to talk about this situation. He’d never been the victim of an assault quite like this.

“I’m going to assume you didn’t want this kiss?” Kurt shook his head vehemently. He most definitely didn’t want it. “What happened before it?”

“I was walking through the halls, looking at my phone.” Blaine gave Kurt a reproachful look. It was a well known rule that phones weren’t to be used during school hours. “Don’t look at me like that, it was after school yesterday.”

Smiling at the jibe, Blaine motioned for Kurt to continue. “Go on.”

“He knocked my phone out of my hands and slammed me into the lockers.� He then walked into the boys locker rooms and I followed him.” Kurt bit his lip, as if he didn’t want to say the next part, even though he was offering up the information voluntarily. He had never had someone he could speak this honestly to, and it made him nervous.

“What happened next?” Blaine prodded for Kurt to continue.

“I yelled at him.� Screamed at him.� Asked him what the hell his problem was.� He wasn’t happy.”

Blaine snorted. “I bet.”

“In the end I told him to hit me.� Because even if he did it wouldn’t change who I was.”

Blaine smiled.� It made Blaine proud that Kurt had the capability to understand that changing yourself to fit someone else’s image of you was never wise.� “Good.� Don’t change for anyone.”

“But instead of hitting me, he kissed me.� He even tried to kiss me again before I pushed him away.” Kurt licked his lip and then made a face, almost as if he could still taste the kid on his lips. Blaine hated that Kurt went through this, but Kurt didn’t seem any worse for wear.

“You don’t seem shaken up about it?”

“It’s not that I’m angry or hurt. I… just.� I realized I did the same thing to you, and I shouldn’t have.� Now I know how you feel and I feel awful about it.” Blaine nodded and grabbed hold of Kurt’s hand.� Kurt was surprised and looked up so he could look his teacher in the eye.

“Honestly Kurt?� Awful is the farthest thing from what I felt at the time. Even now I don’t feel awful about it.”

“What?” Kurt was astonished. He had seriously thought that he forced something on his teacher against his will, just like this bully had done to Kurt. But to find out that Blaine hadn’t been all that against it? That was changing Kurt’s outlook on the situation.

“For what it was, it was great.� But it is different.� You aren’t some scared boy who is trying to figure out who he is.” Kurt had to give his teacher credit for that one. Kurt knew who he was, and knew who he was attracted to, and there was absolutely no confusion within Kurt’s mind. At least not for whom he was physically attracted to.� There was still some confusion as to why he had to fall for his teacher of all people.

“No, I’m just a scared boy who kisses his teachers in order to try and see just how high his embarrassment bar can go.”

“Teachers?” Blaine joked, attempting to get Kurt to laugh.� It brought about a small chuckle out of Kurt, but not as much of one as Blaine had hoped.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Blaine nodded his confirmation and looked into Kurt’s eyes. There was something there that he couldn’t quite place. Respect? Perhaps.� Admiration? Possibly. Blaine didn’t know precisely what it was, but he knew there was something. Kurt must have realized that there was something there too, because he quickly stood up, breaking off the connection made through their eyes.

“I should go.” Kurt said, picking up his messenger bag and standing awkwardly a few feet away from Blaine. Blaine nodded before standing up and smiling at Kurt once again. “Thanks for listening.”


“I know, but I can’t string you along anymore.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me?” Blaine can feel his lip quiver and he knows that he’s only a couple of minutes away from bursting into tears, but he holds strong at least until he can get out of the room.

“I didn’t know how to tell you.” Jeremiah confessed, but Blaine didn’t buy it.

“You’re a psychologist and you can’t figure out how to break up with your boyfriend? Isn’t that one of your great mantras? Talking about it will make it better? That’s great Jeremiah, a real standup guy.” Jeremiah’s face contorted into something Blaine couldn’t identify. Blaine went to grab his bag before walking out of the room when Jeremiah snapped.

“It’s not like I was actually interested in you anyway.” He tosses at Blaine who freezes and turns around and stares at the older man. “Didn’t think I’d be using you, did you? Yea it was all just an experiment Blaine. Just an experiment.”

“What do you mean?” Blaine took a few deep breaths, forcing his voice to stay even, despite how much it was threatening to break.� He wanted to punch Jeremiah. How could someone be so cruel?

“To see how quickly a teenage boy can fall in love. Congratulations it took you longer than I thought it would.” He seemed slightly impressed, but Blaine fell heartbroken. “You’re a good lay, Blaine. I’ll give you that.” Unfortunately for Jeremiah he didn’t see the fist that went swinging through the air a mere second before it made contact with his cheek.


“I’ll always be here for you.” Blaine said, placing his hand upon Kurt’s shoulder. It was supposed to be a friendly, platonic gesture but to both Blaine and Kurt it felt like so much more. Turning his head to look at the hand on his shoulder, Kurt then traced it with his eyes back up to Blaine’s face. He subconsciously licked his lips and blinked.

Blaine gulped, before very slowly moving his head forward. When his face was just a couple of centimeters away from Kurt’s, his eyes closed of their own accord. Kurt’s eyes did the same, and suddenly their lips were touching, and it wasn’t one sided. They were both equally contributing to this kiss and it was a far cry from their previous one where Kurt ran away moments after pecking his teacher on the lips. A few seconds later, Kurt broke the kiss and exhaled the breathe he had been holding ever since Blaine put his hand upon Kurt’s shoulder.

“Umm…” Blaine was at a loss for words.� Not only did his student just kiss him again, he had kissed back.

“Was it my imagination, or did you…” Kurt asked, before Blaine nodded.

“Yea…”

“Right….” Kurt couldn’t believe what just happened.� He had kissed his teacher again, and not only that, he was kissed back.� It wasn’t one sided, and it definitely wasn’t unwanted. “Apparently I’m not the only one who is attracted to the other.”

“Kurt…” He tried to find a way to avoid the question without hurting Kurt’s feelings, but nothing was coming to him. “…okay yes.� I am. But this is wrong.” He said, but he knew his verbal protests were fruitless. He wanted to kiss Kurt even more now than he did before. They both dove in once again this time Kurt wrapped his hands around Blaine’s neck to pull them closer together.

“So� wrong.� So so wrong.” Kurt says as he rests his forehead against Blaine’s, but only for a few seconds because Kurt wants to kiss those lips again.

“Kurt, no.� This can’t happen.” Blaine disentangles Kurt’s arms from around his neck and steps far away from Ku—‘no my student’ he has to remind himself. Kurt is left standing in the middle of the room, while Blaine is back at his desk, leaning against it, trying to compose himself.

�“Why not?” Kurt asked, walking over towards Blaine once again. It seems that since Kurt realized Blaine felt something towards him too, all of his reservations went out the window.� It was one thing to be nervous and shy when you think the teacher you kissed didn’t like it and was completely straight.� It’s another when you find out that he’s gay and actually enjoyed it enough to want more.

“For one, I’m over 12 years older than you.”Kurt shrugged.

“Age is just a number.” Kurt told him, but Blaine wouldn’t have it.

“Second, you’re underage.� If you were 18, maybe I could throw away everything else that’s holding me back but Kurt you’re still only 17 years old.” Despite the crestfallen look upon Kurt’s face, he heard a bit of hope in the way Blaine phrased his protests.

“Only for another 2 weeks. September 27th and I turn 18.” Kurt pointed out. Blaine took a deep breath, wondering if he was really ready to jeopardize his very fresh career for a student. If he was willing to go down the same path that Jeremiah took with him; but he quickly shook that off.� Blaine would never use Kurt for research purposes.� Blaine would never drop Kurt to the curb right after Kurt confessed his love to Blaine.� Would he? Would he make the same mistakes? Could he handle dealing with the same situation he had been in once before?

“Then wait until then.� Just wait.” Blaine told him, his heart apparently making the choice before his mind had a chance to catch up.

“Can I at least get a hug goodbye?” Blaine wavered, knowing that they would be treading on dangerous ground. They already broke about 20 Conduct Rules, what harm would one more do? He opens up his arms, as he steps over towards Kurt who tentatively steps into the embrace. Kurt pulls tightly and Blaine can feel his resolve slowly start to crumble.

“Only two weeks.”

End Notes: Feel free to review and y'know... tell me what you think.

Comments

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Great chapter... Well written... Thanks for continuing this!

I'll be continuing this to the end :). I've already got another.... 25000 words written, and I've still got more to go, so it should be a while before it's finished, but i'll be posting periodically. I'm glad you liked it. :)

I feel so sorry for Blaine! I'm so happy they kissed again though.

Blaine is going to go through a lot of stuff throughout this story, but I hope you like what happens. Thanks for reviewing :)0)

THIS.IS.AWESOME!Love it, love it love it!Update soon!<3

I'll probably update sometime by this weekend... though no promises. It depends on how much I can write in my Math class tomorrow morning inbetween giving my teacher answers I've known since 5th grade...