Nov. 29, 2012, 4:23 p.m.
Back to the Start: Chapter 7 Dream a Little Dream
T - Words: 2,835 - Last Updated: Nov 29, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Oct 09, 2012 - Updated: Nov 29, 2012 732 0 0 0 0
After Blaine left Kurt thought to himself. ‘As far as being trapped in a dream goes this doesn't seem to be that bad.'
Of course the first moments of it had been horrifying. One minute he was having another sleepless night lying in bed; reaching over to grab his IPod. Suddenly there was this whirling, dropping feeling of vertigo that engulfed him despite the fact he was still in his bed. Instantly everything quieted as the sound of the city was replaced with the hush of a small town. Kurt realized this wasn't really a bed it was that awful Ikea sofa-bed he had when his room was in the basement. Even in the dark room Kurt recognized this wasn't Brooklyn. Kurt turned on the light it was his childhood home. Putting his IPod next to his old cell phone before he nervously picked up the phone searching for the time and date it was 4:04 am on November 8th 2010. Kurt was petrified; he thought about curling up in a ball crying giving in to the fear that was threatening to consume him. Then a thought hit him, fall of 2010 that was when his dad almost died. Kurt was half way up the stairs before he even finished the thought.
Kurt flung open his father's door earning a groan of annoyance from Burt as he said "Kurt, I thought you got over the constant checking on me." Once Burt was awake enough to see Kurt standing frightened and confused in the door way he asked "Were you having nightmares again? I can get up if you want. Are you okay?"
Kurt was still in a muddled haze but more than that he felt guilty. It was exactly as it had been when his father had his heart attack every good intention seemed to be an annoyance and he was making his dad worry about him when he should be recovering.
Kurt tried to sound as reassuring as he could. "Yeah I'm Okay, Dad. Sorry for bothering you. Go back to sleep."
The moment the door closed Kurt crumpled to the floor outside his dad's room, holding his knees trying to figure out what was going on. Kurt was frightened and weeping. How was he back in one of the darkest times in his life? This couldn't be happening; this had to all be part of a very weird dream. It must have been the stress from so many major life changes, losing his first love, being so far from his family and trying to adapt to life in a large urban neighborhood like Bushwick.
This was all just a dream and he needed to wake up. Kurt when back to his room grabbed his robe and tried to take a shower. Why wouldn't he wake up? He even tried turning the water all the way to cold but it didn't help. Kurt went to the kitchen and made the strongest pot of coffee he could. Half way through the pot of coffee Kurt realized none of this would help. Those are things to keep you awake not to wake you up. He had no idea how to get out of a dream.
Kurt tried to calm himself with the idea that he was safe and it was just a dream. He simply needed to think of a way to wake up.
Kurt felt a sense of composure come back to him when he realized in movies and TV you had to have an epiphany to get back to reality. Kurt figured he needed to go about his daily routine acting like everything was normal while looking for his way back.
Kurt dressed in something simple: a Lady Gaga t-shirt, his loose jeans, his black red and white sneakers and an open flannel shirt. Kurt stood in front of his mirror with his arms out at his sides waiting for something to happen. Kurt growled in frustration. Apparently the epiphany wasn't that he needed to embrace the small town boy in him without hiding who he really is. Kurt was disappointed because evidently this time fashion wasn't going to help him.
Kurt went back upstairs to make his dad his favorite heart healthy breakfast. As they sat together eating Kurt noticed his dad wasn't just sick he was sad. "Dad, have you talked to Carol lately?"
"Yeah, she calls on her lunch breaks." Burt looked happier after simply talking about her.
"I think you need to have her come over more. You should invite her over tonight." Burt looked a little apprehensive so Kurt added "You know Finn and I are getting along much better now."
Kurt knew that the only thing standing in the way of Burt and Carol being happily married was the relationship between their sons. Kurt knew he could fix that and maybe that would be what it took to wake him up. Kurt really didn't think that was it though because he was certain he already worked through all of those feelings.
When Kurt got to school he felt a little lost he had no idea what his class schedule was two years ago and it wasn't like he had someone to lead him around from class to class. Kurt decided he needed to get a copy of his schedule from the office.
Oddly enough the secretary didn't find it that unusual that a student would ask to be reminded of what their classes are. It all made perfect sense though when she asked "Are you going to need a copy ready for you every Monday like Brent and Brittany do?" Kurt shook his head as he was about to leave the secretary handed him another class schedule saying "Take this one to Brittany she's been standing out there for five minutes already."
Kurt found Brittany staring off at nothing in the middle of the hall. "What are you doing Britt?"
"I was thinking about riding a horse on the beach and then all the sand started floating up and turned into stars." She wiggled her fingers up in the air.
"Why?" Kurt asked not expecting an answer.
"Because it's better than what happens in real life" She told Kurt. He thought maybe she's had one too many concussions from being a Cheerio. Kurt offered Brittany his arm as they headed to the choir room.
When Brittany noticed how Kurt was dressed she held tighter to him rubbing her hand up his arm and asked. "Are you straight again?"
"No, Britt. I am not." Kurt rolled his eyes she really did live in a fantasy world.
Kurt realized if Brittany lived in a dream world maybe she had an idea on how to get out of one. "Can I ask you a question Brittany?"
"Yeah, that's a funny one."
"What?"
"You asked if you could ask me a question but that was the question." Evidently Brittany thought it was some kind of riddle.
"Okay...I am going to ask you another one now. How do you wake up from a dream?"
"It depends on the dream. If it's a nightmare you wake up when it gets too scary." Brittany looked at Kurt wondering if this was one of those times that the person she was talking to was going to roll their eyes and walk away. She was pleased to see he was actually contemplating her answer.
"Thank you Britt that was really helpful." Kurt left Brittany at the choir room door.
He had about five minutes until Mr. Schuester showed. That would be more than enough time to make it to the wing of the school that held the Athletic Department.
Kurt believed he knew what the most horrifying thing he could do at McKinley was. Kurt stood poised and ready to burst in and make a spectacle demanding the respect he deserved. He had come up with the speech he would was going to use on the way. He decided on "I am tired of the demeaning names and the condescending looks. I deserve more respect form you and everyone else around here. I am just as good as you are. In fact I am going to get out of this godforsaken town and you will probable live out the rest of your life in this crappy hellhole." If that didn't cause this dream to become frightening enough to wake him, nothing would.
Kurt barged in ready for his tirade to invoke a wrath like no other but before he could say a word Sue said "Gelfling, I was just about to send for you." She took a very small bite of a cookie then threw it in the trash can next to her desk that was filled with pastries and cookies.
Kurt was thrown off a little but he forcefully stated anyway "I am tired of the demeaning names and the condescending looks."
Sue cut him off again "Good, I want my Cheerios as fierce as possible." She stood up and walked around her desk "If the Department of Health hadn't stopped me I'd still be infecting the Cheerios with rabies. It was glorious to see the fear in the computation's eyes when they knew my frothy mouthed Cheerios weren't afraid of anything. Well, except for water."
"One of many problems with that statement, is that I'm not a Cheerio this year"
"You are if I say you are." She told him as she thrust an apparel box at him. "I'll send someone over tonight to teach you the routines. Stay up all night if you have to but you better know what you are doing tomorrow." She said shoving him out of the office and locking the door behind him.
Kurt couldn't help but think what he always thought after dealing with Sue ‘What the hell was that? Did that really just happen?' Kurt felt lucky that at least this time he knew it hadn't really happened.
The bell rang before Kurt made it back to glee practice. Kurt walked in as Finn was drumming loudly on a book in his lap. Kurt walked over to sit with Mercedes putting his bag and box under his chair. Mr. Schuester was holding up a letter.
Kurt's heart sank when he remember today was the day they found out about the Warblers. What if this was all to do with how he felt about Blaine? He hoped that wasn't it though. Kurt didn't think he could handle it yet. He needed and deserved to work through his feelings on his own time. Kurt was sure he wouldn't be able to let go of the resentment, heartache and betrayal he felt this soon.
He wouldn't have to though. If he never goes to Dalton then he won't have to meet Blaine. If things got really bad he could transfer to a different public school but he wasn't planning on staying in this dream that long.
Kurt heard Santana say "Okay, hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head." as she looked at Kurt. It made Kurt realize Sue wasn't the only frightening person at this school. He was ready to wake up now so he was willing to try anything. Kurt whispered "Hey Britt" looked flirtatiously at Brittany lick his lips and winked at her. Brittany smiled and waved back. Kurt mouthed ‘call me' to her. Santana looked like she was plotting his death but didn't say or do anything.
This was so much harder to turn this into a nightmare then he thought it would be.
Kurt heard Mercedes complaining "How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?"
Puck answered "Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis."
Kurt took this as a new opportunity saying "Leave it to Puck to turn this into a new excuse for tapping old women"
"Damn straight" Puck said like it was a compliment. Kurt rolled his eyes.
Mr. Schuester said "Moving on. Since it seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I wanna make this week our second annual boys versus girls' tournament. So, Split up into two groups, and, figure out which songs you're gonna sing."
"Last year everyone but Quinn was high. You're not going to make that part of the annual tournament too, are you?" Mr. Schuester may not be intimidating but Kurt was willing to try anything.
The worst part was that everyone looked to Mr. Schue like Kurt's question was a legitimate one. "No guys. No drugs this time."
Kurt stayed in his seat, all the guys moved to sit around him. Kurt figured if he was stuck in this dream he would at least get to have some fun with it. "Let's try Thriller and Heads Will Roll." Kurt had been disappointed that he hadn't been there when they did that last time. The guys were surprised that Kurt hadn't tried to sit with the girls, and even more surprised that he came up with an idea they all actually liked.
By the end of class Kurt had remembered enough about the arrangement and choreography that they should be able to start practicing by tomorrow.
After class ended Kurt went to change into his Cheerios uniform. Kurt decided he would change in the bathroom because the locker room would be full of guys changing for second period.
Kurt heard crying, someone was crying so hard that their sobs were half the time dry heaves. The smell of vomit filled the bathroom.
Kurt walked over to the open stall door. It was Karofsky his eyes were red, his face was pale and tear stained and his fists were bloody from punching the now dented metal wall of the stall. He had puke on his shoes from when he had been still strong enough to stand. Now though he was looking like kneeling next to the toilet had becoming too much effort.
Kurt started to cry too he was sure this is what Dave must have looked like when he decided to try to kill himself.
"What do you want?" Dave asked his throat raw from being sick but it only reminded Kurt of how he sounded when he talked to him in the hospital.
Kurt walked over and locked the bathroom door. "I want to help you, Dave"
"I don't need your help..." Kurt walked back to where Karofsky was now sitting on the floor. Their eyes met and Dave asked "You know don't you? You can just see it like a fucking disease."
"I only know because I've been there. And it's not a disease it is part of who we are; there is nothing we need to cure or fix." Kurt sat on the floor outside of the stall.
"I don't want anyone to know."
"That's Okay. It is completely up to you when you come out. When I came out to my dad he was very supportive but not everyone is going to be as lucky as I was. Not everyone that should be there for you will be able to get past their own small minded bigotry to be there for you. It will be hard for you and you may even want to give up but you are going to make it through this. I will help you and so will everyone the loves you and accepts you for who you are."
"Before school today some guy on the street seen me and he knew. He just knew."
"You're afraid he is going to out you." Kurt didn't have to ask. "I wish I could tell you that wasn't a possibility but it happens. I'll be here for you either way. Did you know it took me until sophomore year to come out? It took me that long to come out because I grew up here were homophobia is so accepted that I saw and heard on a daily basis that what and who I am was wrong. It was so in grained in me that even I saw it as something to keep hidden like it was a disgraceful secret. It's not though we should be who we were born to be. Love isn't wrong. Being able to feel and show love is a good thing and shouldn't have to be hidden. Someday you will get out of Lima and be able to be who you want to be."
"Why are you being nice to me like this? I don't deserve it." Dave appeared to be confused at Kurt's concern for him.
"Everyone deserves to be treated with compassion, no matter what they have done." Kurt touched Dave's arm, "No one should live there life in a way that makes them forget such a simple concept of human nature." Dave still looked sick. "You don't have to stay at school. You know the nurse will send you home if you want?"
"I can make it. I have gym now anyway if I go now I can shower. I doubt anyone will notice I wasn't there anyway."
"Here give me your number." Kurt handed his phone to Dave. "If you need someone to talk to you can call me anytime." Kurt told him as he texted him so Dave would have his number too. He texted a single word ‘Courage.'