April 27, 2015, 7 p.m.
Come What May: Week 22 - The Hardest Goodbye
T - Words: 3,769 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 40/? - Created: Nov 02, 2014 - Updated: Nov 02, 2014 214 0 0 0 0
Okay, that was a really mean thing to do, Im sorry. It wasnt fun for me either. I may have gotten a little emotional just writing the scene between Blaine and Savannah, but it was all part of my plan. Itll serve a purpose in Blaines attitude.
On another note about Savannah, I know its not much detail to go on, but I kind of want to keep it that way, because Im not an expert, and I dont want to get too much information wrong, so Im keeping things brief for the sake of the story.
Theres so much more coming, and I cant wait for you guys to see whats next! Stay tuned and please review! xoxo
The Aroma of bacon waffled through the apartment, along with the popping sound of it cooking. The toaster popped to slices of bread and it was quickly buttered.
When the bacon was cooked, Blaine scooped it on to a plate, just as the eggs finished. He quickly poured a glass of orange juice, and set it on the tray. "Okay," he whispered to himself. "Eggs, bacon, toast, juice, fork, napkin, and flowers. All set." He then lifted the tray and carried it into Kurts room.
He was lying on his side, with his blanket twisted around his legs. When Blaine sat on the edge of the bed, he moaned and buried his face in his pillow. "Go away... Too tired," he mumbled.
"Oh, okay. Ill just eat your breakfast for you," Blaine set the tray on his legs.
Kurt jumped, startled by the action. "You made me breakfast in bed?" His blue eyes lit up.
"Sure, I wanted to show you how happy Ive been that youre living here," Blaine said.
"I thought you did that every night, by hogging this bed from me," Kurt winked.
"Shut up and eat your eggs," Blaine pushed the fork toward him.
Taking a bite of his eggs, Kurt moaned pleasantly, "This is so good, Blaine."
"Thanks," Blaine leaned forward, kissing his cheek.
"Did you make Rachel breakfast too?" Kurt asked, wiping his face with a napkin.
"Uv, no. She took off first thing this morning. She said she wanted to register at Babys R Us today. She said, when we get a chance, she wants us to go get a crib she picks out for the baby," Blaine informed him.
"Oh, okay," Kurt nodded, fidgeting with the napkin in his hand. He placed it on his lap and cleared his throat.
"Kurt?" Blaine raised an eyebrow. "You are comfortable with being here, right? I mean, being in an expecting home can be overwhelming, especially once shes here, but when its not your baby..."
"Blaine," he reached over and took Blaines hand, giving him a reassuring smile.. "I am very happy to be here, because I get to spend every day with you. Nothing else matters."
"Its not weird having Rachel so close?" Blaine asked, feeling slightly guilty for putting him in this predicament.
"Shes not here now," Kurt set his tray on the night stand. "Look, were all a little stressed, and were all a little uncomfortable. But well make this work."
"Are you sure?" Blaine insisted. "I mean, you just lost, like, all your privacy."
"Its more private that Mercedes and Sams couch," Kurt grabbed the collar of his shirt. "And we have the times Rachel isnt here."
"I guess," Blaine nodded.
Blaine„" Kurt stressed, his eyes lighting up. "Rachel, isnt here."
"Oh," it finally clicked in his head. He climbed in the bed next to Kurt and placed his head on his chest, listening to the gentle sound of his heart beat.. "Shes not here."
"Then will you stop talking and start kissing?" Kurt licked his lips hungrily.
"Yeah," Blaine said, quickly leaning in to meet Kurts lips.
Running his hand down to the bottom of Blaines shirt, Kurt pulled it over his head and hummed softly. "Moments like this are what make this living arrangement worth it," he said, staring at Blaines torso.
"What happened to shutting up and kissing?" Blaine asked.
Kurt rolled over on top of Blaine, pinning him to the bed, and dipped his head down to kiss Blaines neck. He moved his lips down Blaines torso and paused near his waistline, tilting his head up to meet his gaze..
"If youre not ready..." Blaine assured him, thinking he might still be too broken from Dylan. His mood had been better since they had gotten together, but they hadnt been intimate since the night in Ohio.
"No, I... Im ready. I love you, and I want you," Kurt sat up, resting on his legs, and reached for the button of Blaines pants. "This time, your entirely mine, and Im ready to embrace that."
Me too," Blaine breathed, just as Kurts lips met his once again...
The clock ticked slowly, feeling like it hardly moved. He stared at it with wide, fearful eyes.
Since Blaine had gotten the phone call the previous night from Beatrice to meet him at the hospital, Blaine had a tight knot in his stomach. She rarely ever called him and she hardly ever sounded so tired. He was worried something might be wrong.
"Blaine?" Beatrices soft voice said from the entrance to the waiting room. "Im so sorry I didnt give you better answers the other day. It was wrong to chase you away."
"Its okay," he slowly rose from the chair. He gave her a hug, when she approached him. "How is she?" He asked.
Beatrice motioned him to sit and took the seat next to him. Taking his hand in hers, she patted the back of it gently and said, "Things took an unexpected turn last week. She hasnt been responding well to treatment."
"I dont understand. She seemed fine last time I saw her," Blaine shook his head in disbelief.
A tear fell from her eye and she quickly brushed it away. "She was doing fine, but shes been slowly getting weaker," she said calmly. "We didnt even fully realize it, because shes been handling it so well."
"Where Is she now?" Blaine gulped, fearing the answer.
"Shes in her room. The doctors want to try a different form of treatment on her, something to hit hard," she shook her head miserably, "But she needs to be transferred, because they wont do it here."
"Will I still be able to see her?" Blaine asked. He had spent so much time with her. Blaine couldnt imagine his Friday mornings without Savannah.
"Were moving out of State, honey. I dont think theres much of a chance of seeing her again," Beatrice squeezed his hand. Her dad eyes poured into his and he looked away, unable to handle her sadness.
"So thats it?" Blaine choked out, feeling his throat tighten, his eyes water. She would be so far away. "Were done just like that."
"You have been one of the healthiest forms of medicine for her, and I can not express how grateful I have been for you, Blaine Anderson. You will be in our familys heart forever," she said, her voice cracking on the last word.
"Can I at least say goodbye to her?" he asked.
"She would be heart broken if you didnt," Beatrice said. "Come here," she pulled him into a hug, whispering into his ear, "Thank you for everything... I fully believe that you kept her healthier than she would have been without you."
He opened his mouth to speak but felt it go dry. This was too much to take in. Instead he stood up and silently made his way toward Savannahs room. The long walk felt like it took an eternity, and Blaine felt like he was drifting against the bustle of nurses in the hall.
"Hi, Blainey," Savannah croaked from her bed, when he appeared in the doorway.
"Uh, hey," Blaine said, hearing his own voice tremble. He cleared his throat and took a seat next to her.
"I have something for you," she said quietly. "I asked my mommy to find you something special." She pointed toward the cupboard in the corner and said, "can you get me the pink bag in there?"
Feeling his knees wobble under him, he moved to the cupboard and dug inside, trying to mop his eyes without her seeing. When he resurfaced, he asked, "this one?"
"Yeah," she smiled. She took it with her little hands and began fidgeting inside. Watching her hands, it was the first time Blaine really realized how small she had always been. "Here it is," Savannah pulled out a box.
Opening it slowly, Blaine noticed the faint glow in her sad eyes. "Its beautiful," he said, pulling out a locket. Inside the locker was a picture of Blaine and Savannah that they had taken the first time he met her two years ago. On the outside, it was inscribed My Angel.
"Youve been my guardian angel, Blaine," she said softly, as she began to cry. "You color with me and you sing songs with me, and youre my best friend. I dont have kid friends at school and I hate being here every day, but you bring me happiness every time youre here. I dont want to go."
Blaines heart shattered at the sight of Savannah. He leaned in close to her and grabbed her hands, holding the locker between them. "I am always going to be with you, and when I get a chance, Im going to come visit you. I love you too much to say goodbye."
"I love you too, Blaine," she cried, lowering her head,
"You have been an angel to me as well, and I am never going to forget you," Blaine wiped a tear off her cheek. "You have given me the encouragement I need to continue in medical school. Seeing you here is the reason Im still going."
"Dont give up when Im gone. Baby Rose needs you too much to give up. You can do it," she said.
"Thank you," he whispered, hooking the locker around his neck. He couldnt tell her that medical school was never his plan, and that she was the only reason he continued. But seeing her in this fragile state made him feel like it was too much to handle. Hed have to deal with illnesses every day, and after seeing it first-hand, he didnt know if he could continue.
"You didnt disagree. Does that mean you named her Rose?" Savannah asked, the corners of her mouth curling into a weak smile.
He chuckled softly, "i dont know yet, honey. Rachel and I havent discussed names."
"I want to meet your baby," Savannah said, her expression becoming more serious.
Blaine thought about the last few months and how much strength she had given him. She was the one that comforted him, when he had no one to talk to about the baby. Savannah was the one person he didnt have to act strong with, unlike Kurt and Rachel, whos expectations for a father were high. Savannah gave him hope. She made him realize how important it was to be there for his own daughter. He knew that his daughter would face obstacles as well, and he had to be there for her, no matter how hard it was.
Beatrice had been so strong for Savannah. Blaine didnt know if he could ever be that strong in her shoes, but because of Savannah, he knew he had to try, for a similar reason that he had been there for Savannah..
"Ill send you a picture after shes born. I promise, well be in touch, because Im not letting you go," he stood up. He couldnt last much longer without completely breaking, and he didnt want Savannah to see that.
"Youre leaving now, arent you?" Savannah reached for his hand, clasping it with a weak grip.
Tears began to fall, and he felt his heart ache for the girl before him. Blaine had seen her act so brave for so long. Sometimes she seemed so happy that he forgot how sick she was. It wasnt fair that this was happening to her.
"Yeah," he whispered.
"What if I dont see you again?" She asked.
"This isnt goodbye. I wont say goodbye to you, because I will find a way to see you soon, I promise," he bent over and gave her the best hug he could. "Stay strong for me, okay?"
"Only if you promise to stay strong for me," she whispered.
Feeling like he couldnt breathe, Blaine nodded. "I will," he choked out, kissing her pale cheek softly. He didnt know if he could keep that promise, because life was too overwhelming, but he knew he had to put on a brave face for her.
She reached up and stroked his cheek, as she whispered, "youre gonna make a great daddy someday."
Chest tightening, he backed away from the bed, he said, "Im gonna do my best... Ill see you later."
"Bye, Blaine," she weakly waved.
He turned on his heel, rushing into the hall. Feeling like everything hit him at once. Losing Savannah, taking care of Rachel, and balancing Kurt, getting through medical school, worrying about the babys uncertain future, not even sure he could be a good enough father... It was too much. His vision began to blur and he moved faster down the hall.
Once he was outside of the pediatric ward, he leaned against the wall, panting heavily. His knees buckling beneath him, he slid down the wall, and buried his face in his hands, unleashing every emotion he had bottled up for the last five months.
The apartment was quiet. The only sound Blaine heard was the humming of the refrigerator. He wasnt sure if anyone was home.
He moved toward the couch and sat on the edge. A newspaper lay on the table and the image of Rachel caught his eye. Blaine pulled it closer and read the headline.
Knocked Up And Knocked Out
During A Funny Girl rehearsal last week, tension broke out when Rachel Berry, Funny Girls former star, showed up at the theater. According to the current lead role, Penelope Marsh, Berry showed up with a friend and harassed her in the middle of a rehearsal. "She brought this she-man of a friend with her, who insisted that I never should have gotten this role." Things took an even harsher turn, when Berrys friend announced that she left the show to due an unexpected pregnancy. "I mean, the girl was huge. She had to be six months pregnant, which means she knew about the baby before she even started rehearsals."
Rachel Berry had walked out on rehearsals a few months ago, leaving director Rupert Campion with a tough choice to make. "As it turns out, she knew exactly what she was doing. Its like she was trying to sabotage the show. This pregnancy wasnt unexpected."
Rupert Campion stated, "Weve had to make adjustments, but Penelope is a wonderful addition to our cast, and I know were going to open with a bang."
It looks like Rachel Berrys plan didnt work after all. You can check out Penelope Marsh as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl, opening March first.
"Oh no," Blaine said to himself. He tossed the paper back on the table and moved to her room. "Rachel?" He asked quietly, peering around her curtains.
Curled up in a ball, hugging her stomach, Rachel lay with her face squished into the pillow. Her body racked with silent sobs, she didnt reply.
"Rachel," Blaine whispered. He slowly walked toward the bed and sat down. Pulling her tangled hair off her face, he said, "Im so sorry, Rachel."
She let out a whine and Blaine felt his heart sink lower than it had before. "Hey, its okay." Blaine swung his legs up on the bed and wrapped his arms around her back, placing his hand on her belly. He curled up next to her, quietly holding her while she cried.
In time, she grew silent and still. Blaine ran his fingertips gently across her abdomen and whispered, "are you awake?"
"Mhm," she replied.
"How do you feel?" he asked.
"Like I got hit by a truck," she said. She rolled over on to her other side and stared into his eyes. "My Broadway career died before it even started."
"Im so sorry," he wrapped his arms around her once more, pulling her tight against his body. "I wish I could make this go away for you."
Hiccuping softly, she buried her face in his chest, "I do too."
"Well figure something out," Blaine rubbed her back gently. "Im gonna be right here with you through it."
""I cant go back to Broadway. No ones g-going to want me, after they f-find out I got p-pregnant to sabotage a show," she cried, another round of tears started and she clung to Blaine tightly.
"Shh, youre going to be okay," he reassured her, rubbing his hand on her back. He continued to hold her, whispering words of comfort in her ear.
A distant sound of the front door shutting caused Rachels body to tense. "K-Kurt?" she asked quietly.
"Yeah," he replied.
A moment later, Kurts footsteps grew closer and he pulled the curtain back. "Hey," he said quietly. "Is she sleeping?"
"No," Rachel moaned into Blaines chest.
Kurt shuffled around the bed and climbed in, curling up against Rachels back. He wrapped his arm around her and touched his fingertips to Blaines arm and he smiled slightly.
Rachel shuddered between them, before she let out a long sigh and her body relaxed a little. "I love you guys," she said quietly.
"We love you too," Kurt said, kissing the back of her head. "Were going to get you through this."
"I dont think Ill ever get through this. I might as well kiss my Broadway career goodbye after that article," Rachel said in a quiet voice. "I feel like the world is ending."
"No," Blaine said a little too quickly. Kurt popped his head up to glare at him and he added, "Theres worse things than this. At least you can survive this." He thought of Savannah fighting for her life. Rachels Broadway dilemma was nothing compared to that.
Kurt continued to observe him, until he finally asked, "Why do you say it like that?"
"Like what?" Blaine asked.
"At least she can survive this. Why wouldnt she survive it? Is something wrong with the baby? I thought she was upset about the article," Kurts eyes shifted to Rachel in concern.
"No, Rachel and the baby are fine," Blaine replied. "I didnt mean it like that, Im sorry."
"But you know something," Kurt pressed, propping himself on his elbow.
"I -" Blaine hesitated. He felt guilty that Kurt didnt get to send Savannah off. He didnt know her as well, but he was fond of her. "Savannahs getting transferred tonight. She needs a stronger treatment."
"What?" Kurt sat up, making Rachel jump. "But she -"
Blaine shook his head, hugging Rachel tightly for comfort. "I didnt know, until her mom called me this morning and asked if there was any way I could come in, so I skipped class."
"You saw her?" Kurt asked.
He nodded, aware of the cool metal against his aching chest. "I told her wed stay in touch, but I dont really know how possible that is."
"Poor darling," Rachel sniffed.
"It just got me thinking... I dont know what I would ever do if something like that happened to my child," he said, beginning to rub Rachels back again. "I feel likt Id be too scared to handle it."
"Wed be here for each other to keep one another strong," Rachel said, placing her hand on her belly. "But shes going to be okay, Blaine. You have to be positive. Shes not Savannah."
"I know," Blaine nodded.
"Your daughter will survive anything, because shell have great parents," Kurt said, still sitting beside Rachel.
"And her uncle Kurt," Rachel reached behind her and found his hand. "Come here."
Once again, Kurt huddled close to Rachel and stared at Blaine with wide eyes. "Im so sorry about Savannah. I liked spending time with her, but I know she meant so much more to you."
"Yeah, Im sorry too," Blaine said quietly.
Kurt grabbed his hand and placed it on Rachels stomach. When Rachel placed her hand on top of theirs, he said, "The three of us have been through a lot, and I know were going to get through whatever life throws at us. Well get through it together."
"You know, you guys make me feel guilty about wallowing in my own self pity," Rachel said.
"Its okay. Theres always someone that has it worse than you, but sometimes its okay to cry for yourself," Blaine told her. "I just need you to stay strong for me... For our little girl. Youll get through it."
"Dont worry, Ill be okay. I just need a night to feel sorry for myself," she said. "Can I have that?"
"Yes," Kurt replied. "Well stay right here with you."
"Always," Blaine replied and Kurt smiled.
Deep breathing filled the silence of the apartment. Blaine slowly opened his eyes to see Rachel curled up next to him. He lifted his head to find Kurt sprawled on the other side of her, his left leg hanging over the side of the bed. He right hand resting on Rachels chest.
Blaine smiled at the sight of the two people before him, the people he card about most. So peaceful, so safe from the world, lost in their own dreams. he wished they could always stay that safe.
They had all stayed in Rachels be the previous night, talking for a while. Kurt and Blaine had lifted her mood slightly, but not enough to make her leave the bed. After some time, the three of them fell a deep.
Blaine considered getting out of bed when he heard a loud knock on the front door. Rachels body twitched in her sleep but Kurts eyes fluttered open.
"Whats that?" He sat up quickly.
"The door. I wonder who that could be this early in the morning," Blaine pulled the covers off him. Climbing out of bed, he gently tucked the blanket back over Rachel, kissing her forehead.
"Ill get it," Kurt groggily got up and brushed passed Blaine, who followed him. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a yawn, before he swung the door open. "Dad?!" he said in a surprised tone.
"Hey, sport," Burt Hummel entered the loft, pulling his son into a hug.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked. "Is everything all right? Are you okay?"
"Yes, yes, Carole and I are fine. I just wanted to come see you. Cant I surprise my son?" Burt held up his phone. "I thought maybe you wanted to see me, since you emailed me your address the other day, in case I was every in town."
"Of course, I always want to see you," Kurt guided him to the couch. He sat sat down beside him and motioned toward Blaine, who was hovering near the couchl. "Dad, you remember Blaine."
"Oh yeah. Rachels boyfriend. How are you two?" he shook Blaines hand.
"F-fine," Blaine stuttered. He glanced nervously toward Rachels room, before he exchanged a nervous glance with Kurt. He didnt know how much Kurt had told his father, but he was guessing it wasnt everything.
"You two still together then?" Burt asked. "Shes a good girl. Deserves a nice guy."
"Uh, actually dad..." Kurt walked over and stood next to Blaine. He grabbed his hand and gave his dad the first piece of bad news, "Blaine and Rachel broke up, because Blaine is sort of my boyfriend now."
Burt took his baseball cap off, rubbed his head and placed it back on his head. He raised an eyebrow, watching them closely and said, "Am I missing something here?"
Kurt and Blaine stared at each other with wide eyes, and thats when they realized they had a lot to explain to their parents.