April 27, 2015, 7 p.m.
Come What May: Week 19 - Facing The Problem
T - Words: 3,977 - Last Updated: Apr 27, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 40/? - Created: Nov 02, 2014 - Updated: Nov 02, 2014 207 0 0 0 0
Hi all! Heres another chapter for you. Its all about coming to terms with where everyone is. After all the drama from the last few chapters, things have slowed down slightly. And I know some of you have expected more out of Kurt or Rachel, but theres plenty more coming. I have more surprises for you up my sleeve. ;)
Please continue to review! Your feedback means so much to me. Xoxo
A pounding in his head caused him to bury his face in his pillow, moaning loudly. He felt something shift next to him on the couch and he reached for it blindly, pushing it away from him.
"Stop pushing me," a soft voice said.
"Leave me alone," Blaine mumbled.
"Cant, sorry," the voice replied. "Mercedes wanted me to tell you that you better get your butt up for work or youll be late." The person pulled Blaines pillow off his face and he groaned loudly.
"I cant. I have a terrible hangover," Blaine replied.
"I noticed," he said.
Squinting against the brightness from the windows, Blaine found blue eyes staring at him. Kurt was seated next to him, with a glass of water in his hand. "You werent going to dump that on me, were you?" Blaine sat up.
"No," Kurt chuckled softly. "Although itd probably do you some good."
Since their agreement to be honest with each other, Kurts mood had improved slightly, according to Sam anyway. He told Blaine that Kurt had moped around the apartment for days after the breakup, but having Blaine back seemed to have done him some good. Occasionally, their was a little tension between Kurt and Blaine, and sometimes Kurts mood snapped over nothing, but Blaine did his best to keep things friendly.
This whole situation had been hard on him. Lying to Kurt, going through the process of Kurt finding out the truth, Kurt getting angry, and finally realizing that he had made mistakes too had been a long rollercoaster ride. But now that they had come to terms that they both had made mistakes, and the only way to get past that was to remain open seemed to do their friendship some good.
"How long do I have until work?" Blaine asked.
"About forty-five minutes," Kurt told him.
"Damn," Blaine moaned, lying back on the couch. He reached for his pillow again and buried his face. "I think I might just call in today, because I dont think I can get off this couch."
"Fine, your choice, but you were the one who decided to go out drinking last night," Kurt reminded him.
"It was our fake New Years. What did you expect from me?" Blaine asked. Every year since he had lived in New York, Blaine made it his goal to celebrate New Years on January second, because the real New Years in New York was far too overwhelming for his liking. So he would go out to the bar on a separate night.
"You know, that ‘s really a poor excuse for anything," Kurt told him. "You guys still sat around here and drank half the night on New Years Eve. Did you really have to go out and do the same?" Kurt smiled weakly.
"Yes," Blaine nodded.
"i see," Kurt stood up. He picked up Blaines phone and tossed it at him. "By the way, Rachel called. You might want to call her back." He moved across the room and into the kitchen.
Setting his phone down, Blaine put the pillow back over his head, too exhausted to worry about anything.
A moment later, Kurt grabbed it and pulled it back off his face. "Will you do me a favor?" he asked seriously.
"Sure," Blaine moaned, rubbing his face with his hands. He sat up and stared at Kurt, his eyes full of a gray sadness. "Hey, cone on, I thought you seemed better this morning."
"I know, but... I want to go retrieve my belongings from Dylans apartment, and Im sort of scared to do it alone," Kurt said, his fingers winding around a string on Blaines blanket. "I know hed be pissed if I brought you along, but will you go with me after work today? I cant face this by myself."
Staring at Kurts tired face, he nodded," Yeah, of course." After all, he had helped create this mess with Dylan, the least he could do was give Kurt some support through it.
Blaine worried about the situation all day, slightly nervous himself. Dylan had a temper, and he wasnt going to be pleased at the sight of Kurt or Blaine, especially Blaine. And he just wasnt sure how to handle this.
He met Kurt outside Dylans apartment shortly after six oclock. Kurt was leaning against the side of the building with his phone in his hand. He glanced up at the sight of Blaine and smiled weakly. "Hi," he said quietly.
"Are you okay?" Blaine placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, Im aright," Kurt nodded, leading him to the front door of the building. "Hows your headache?" he nudged Blaine with his elbow, before he entered the building.
"Better," Blaine said.
Kurt knocked on the door and waited a moment. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Blaine squeezed his shoulder and Kurt looked at him with a sad smile on his face. "I really do appreciate you coming," he said. "I couldnt do this alone."
"Yes?" Dylan opened the door. His eyes widened at the sight before him and he immediately started shutting the door again, but Blaine stuck his foot in the doorway, before he had a chance.
"Youre going to here what he has to say," Blaine said harshly.
"Dont try to act tough with me, Anderson. I dont have to do anything you tell me to do," he snarled. He tried pushing on the door again, but Blaine forced his way in. Dylan stepped backward and shouted, "what the hell?"
"Blaine, please," Kurt said quietly. He placed a hand on Blaines arm and said, "Hes just here to help. I wanted to come get a few things I need. I dont care about most of it, but you cant have everything of mine."
"Fine, whatever, take what you want," Dylan stepped aside. "I dont need your shit anyway."
Kurt moved toward the bedroom, leaving Blaine in the room with Dylan. He wasnt sure if he should follow Kurt or not. He stood there, staring at Dylan, feeling really awkward.
"Dont ever bring him back here," Dylan said coldly, when Kurt was our mr of earshot. "I dont want to see him anymore. I had a feeling hed be back, but i wasnt looking forward to it. I dont want this happening again."
"Are you really going to be that big of an ass, Dylan?" Blaine crossed his hands over his chest. "I mean, you were with the guy for two years, and now youre going to act like it never mattered?"
"Thats exactly why I cant have him here. He isnt the person I thought he was, and I dont want anything to do with him anymore," Dylan stepped closer. "And I really dont want to see your face ever again. You ruined this for me, Anderson."
"You know, Dylan, your relationship falling apart wasnt entirely my fault. Theres a good chance that your relationship already had holes in it, or your boyfriend wouldnt have turned to someone else," Blaine snapped. Now that he didnt have to worry about watching what he said around Dylan for Kurts sake, Blaine was ready to speak his mind,
"How dare you come in to my home and talk to me like that," Dylan yelled.
"You had it coming from day one, Dylan. You have been rude and selfish from the moment I met you. I just havent said anything because of Kurt, but you gave him up, and Im not afraid of you anymore," Blaine snapped, clutching his hands into fists.
"Oh yeah?" Dylan was now inches from him. "What do you have for me, Anderson? Huh?"
Shaking his head, Blaine took a step back and took a deep breath. He said, "Youre not worth it, Dylan. Youre not worth any of this. You had your chance with Kurt, and you lost it, and I thought I felt sorry for you, but I think its best that Kurt isnt around you anymore."
A hard blow to the left side of Blaines face, caused him to stumble backward. He clutched his face, staring at Dylan with wide eyes. "Did you just punch me in the face? What the hell, man?" Blaine barked.
"Dylan, Blaine, please," Kurt stepped back into the room with his arms loaded. He dropped his items on the floor and rushed over to Blaine, inspecting his swollen face.. "I just wanted to get my stuff and go without an argument." He hissed, "are you okay?"
"Then you shouldnt have brought this piece of shit with you," Dylan scolded him. "You break up with me over him, and then you bring him back here to have him insult me."
"Thats not why hes here," Kurt said.
"I dont care why hes here. I dont care about you anymore. Just get the hell out of my apartment, because I never want to see your face again, Kurt Hummel," Dylan walked over and picked up Kurts things off the floor. Thrusting it into Kurts arms, he hollered, "Get out! Now!"
Kurt grabbed Blaines arm and guided him out the door. Blaine kept his focus on the ground in front of him while the left side of his face throbbed painfully. He heard Kurt breathing heavily next to him, but remained silent, knowing this was going to break Kurt once more.
In the dark of night, Blaine heard a soft rustling from the floor of the apartment. He rolled over on the couch and stared at the silhouette on the floor. "What are you doing?" He whispered.
A shaky voice replied, "N- nothing."
"Kurt, are... Are you crying?" He asked.
Silence.
Blaine sat up and turned the lamp on from the table next to him. He stared down at Kurt. He was sitting on the floor, staring at Blaine, with tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Whats wrong?" Blaine asked. He knew he didnt have to ask. Kurt had been quiet since they returned from Dylans apartment. He still wasnt over what happened.
"Nothing. Its silly," he sniffed, wiping his face with his sleeve.
"If its bothering you, its obviously something, and I cant let that go," Blaine said, patting the couch next to him. "Come sit with me. I think we should talk about this. "
"Blaine..." Kurt hesitated.
"Come here," Blaine insisted.
"Okay," he pulled himself up next to Blaine. He let out a shaky breath and glanced down at his hands. He stayed like that for a moment, clearly not up to talking at all, but Blaine felt differently.
"Wanna talk about it?" Blaine asked quietly. He gently placed a hand on Kurts knee.
"I dont know," he whispered, shaking his head. "I guess Im just... scared."
"Of what?" Blaine moved closer.
"You. Me. This... " he paused, looking up at Blaine. "What Im capable of doing. I didnt know anyone was going to get physically hurt over me. Im not worth that, and I feel so terrible that he hit you."
"Its not your fault. I pushed his buttons, knowing itd lead to disaster," Blaine said. "I just couldnt help myself. The guys a total jerk, and Ive bit my tongue long enough."
"I never pictured myself to be this kind of person, Blaine," he said quietly, not reacting to that statement He was lost in his own mind. "I never wanted to lie or cheat. Ive hurt the only three people I care about in this damn city, and I dont know what to do anymore."
"Im not angry with you," Blaine reached over and grabbed his hand. "I mean, I know I gave you a hard time about telling Rachel my secret, but honestly, theres nothing we can do to change what happened now."
"You should be angry with me anyway," he sniffed. He reached up and gently brushed the skin under Blaines bruise. "I was so unfair to you, Blaine. Not just tonight. This whole mess. I was just so upset that you lied to me about the baby that my mistakes didnt matter. I battled between you and Dylan for so long. And I was wrong today to take you over to Dylans. He was my problem, not yours."
"Dylan was my problem, because i helped lure you away from him," Blaine grabbed Kurts hand and gently kissed it. "Im okay, I promise. It was kind of worth getting hit just to tell him off."
Kurt chuckled through his tears, "I didnt want confrontation Blaine."
"I had it coming. I ruined things for you two. If anything, you still have a right to be angry with me about ruining things with Dylan... and lying about the baby," Blaine said, staring into his sad eyes.
"My relationship with Dylan was my fault. I never had to give in to you," Kurt shook his head.
"Okay, but you still have a right to be mad about the baby," Blaine said quietly. "I was just as unfair to you, and I cant tell you how sorry I am about that, Kurt. Like you, I was just so torn."
"I dont even think it was just that you lied to me," Kurt admitted. He squeezed Blaines hand and gave a sad smile. "I think I realized that the baby was just another roadblock between me and you."
"Yeah?" Blaine raised an eyebrow, startled by this.
Leaning in toward him, Kurt said, "I like you, Blaine. And I dont just mean that I like you. I mean, that I care about you, and I cant stop these feelings I have for you. But being attached to Dylan for two years, and you having this baby with Rachel, I knew we didnt stand a chance, and I was too overwhelmed to know what to do about that."
"You didnt just break up with Dylan for me though, did you?" Blaine asked, feeling guilt settling in. It wasnt Dylan he felt sorry for, it was Kurts feelings. He hated the idea of hurting Kurt.
Kurt shook his head, "No, it wasnt just you... I mean, a lot of it was, because I couldnt lie to him anymore. It wasnt fair. But Dylan was a deep part of my Lima life, and we just seem to be growing apart here."
"What are you going to do without him in the picture?" Blaine asked hesitantly.
Sighing, Kurt said, "Who knows? You think Im using you as a rebound and youve got the baby and everything... I guess I just need to give myself some time to figure it out."
"Lets not think of it as rebounding. Lets just say youre relying on a friend in need," Blaine gave him a reassuring smile. "I think what we have works, and I dont want to push you away. I just want you to be happy with where you are in your life, before you start a relationship."
"What about where you stand with the baby?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.
At this, Blaine buried his face in his hands and said, "I havent even spoken with Rachel since I left for Ohio. I need to give her a call. I still need to be a father to this child, but its not like Im going to marry Rachel, so I dont want you to feel like you cant be around me."
"But... "Kurt started. When Blaine peered at him through his fingers, he quickly said, "Never mind."
"What?" Blaine sat up.
"Are you just going to move forward, let Rachel raise the baby, and try to stay active in his or her life?" Kurt asked. "I mean, what about your future, you know, romantically?"
"I havent figured that out yet. Thats why I need to see Rachel, I might go visit her tomorrow," Blaine smiled. "Weve got a lot to figure out as first time parents."
"Yeah... Yeah, I suppose," Kurt stood up and moved to the floor, rearranging Sams old sleeping bag. Blaine could hear the disappointment in his voice, and knew he couldnt leave the conversation like that.
"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine asked nervously.
"Yes?"
"You shouldnt have to sleep on the floor," Blaine patted the cushion next to him.
"You crashed here first so..." Kurt fluffed his pillow.
"Then come join me," Blaine watched him closely. He was still messing with his sleeping bag to avoid looking at Blaine. "Kurt," Blaine said firmly, when he couldnt stand watching it anymore.
Sitting back on his heels, Kurts expression changed to a surprised look and he stuttered, "y- yeah but you... Um..."
"Said we have to stay platonic until you sort your thoughts out, I know," Blaine smiled.
"Then why are you -" Kurt began.
In a serious tone, Blaine interrupted, "Kurt Hummel, do not question this. Weve done more personal things as friends, so this is nothing. Get up here and sleep on this couch."
Sitting next to Blaine, Kurt mumbled, "I feel like youre trying to make things more complicated for me."
Blaine let Kurt find a comfortable position, before he curled up on his side next to Kurt. He hesitated, before placing his arm around Kurts waist. A moment passed and Kurts arm curled around him, pulling him closer.
"Thank you, Blaine," he whispered softly into his ear. "I know things arent perfect, but youre the safest place for me."
Feeling his heart leap, Blaine smiled, "Im always going to be here for you."
"Promise?" Kurt asked.
"Always."
Rachels body continued to change every time Blaine saw her. Her belly had grown a bit in the short time he had been gone, and it was overwhelming to Blaine.
"I feel like youre staring at me." She said defensively, rubbing her hands on her belly.
"Im sorry. Im just not used to this," he shifted his eyes to her face. "Youve changed. I mean, you look good, its just different. I feel like youre constantly changing."
"I am, because the baby is constantly growing, but, you wouldnt know, because youre hardly around," she set her teapot on the stove hard, making a loud noise.
"Im sorry," he said.
Placing a hand on her hip, tears formed in her eyes and she said, "Do you have any idea how hard its been to go through a pregnancy alone? Do you have any idea what Ive been through?"
"Im sorry," he said quietly, stepping toward her.
"I have been miserable for weeks. Ive been alone and heart broken and pregnant. And its been so stressful. I was lucky my dads flew in so I didnt have to spend Christmas alone," she continued.
"You said you needed your space. So I gave it to you. Im sorry this has been so hard for you. Thats why I came here to talk to you," he said, trying to remain calm.
"I just feel so helpless," she buried her face in her hands.
"I want to be here for you," he reached up and pulled her hands away from her tear-stained face. "I told you before that i had to be a part of this babys life and that includes getting you through this pregnancy.
"We arent going back to the way things used to be. We broke up for a reason, Blaine," she said harshly.
"I know," he nodded. "But you also promised that I can be a part of the babys life, and I so desperately want to be here for you, Rachel. " Placing a hand on her belly, Blaine smiled at her. They stared into each others eyes for a long moment.
Rachel gave a soft, "Oh," and glanced down at her belly.
Blaine felt it too. A flutter in her stomach. "Is it? -" he breathed.
"Kicking your hand? Yeah," she stared at Blaines face. "I started feeling it kick last week. Its pretty remarkable, isnt it?" She watched Blaines face closely, but he hardly noticed.
Tears formed in his eyes. This brought the situation to a whole new level. This really was his baby, and he felt so overwhelmed with love for it. Running his hand across Rachels bump, he whispered, "This is our baby, Rachel."
Rachel set her hand on top of his hand, and whispered back, "Yeah, it is."
He placed his other hand under her chin, looking into her sad, brown eyed and said, "I know I hurt you, Rachel, and I will never fully be able to forgive myself for this. But we are in this situation, and theres no backing out of it now, so can we please just get through it together."
"I - " she paused.
"Please. Youre right. You shouldnt have to go through this pregnancy alone. And I know its not going to be easy after the pain I caused you, but were going to be on this babys journey for the rest of our lives," he placed his other hand on her stomach.
With a shaky breath, she said, "You know, when I found out you cheated, I really thought this was the end of everything. I thought Id be left alone with this baby and nothing else, and I was so angry with you for abandoning me."
"Im sorry you felt that way," he said.
"Im just so glad youre still around," she cried, tears flowing once more. "Im glad I dont have to be the single parent in his life. As much as I didnt want to admit it before, I do need you, Blaine."
"I appreciate you letting me in his life. Wait -" he stopped, "do you know its a boy?"
"No, its still just a feeling I have, or maybe Im just hoping. I was sort of hoping we could find out the sex together," she smiled through her tears. "Will you go with me?"
"I would love to," he pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead.
"Thank you," she said, giving into the hug and resting her head on his shoulder.
"Does this mean were okay?" He asked.
Pulling back, Rachels expression became more serious and she said, "Im going to take a long time to fully forgive you for lying to me for three years and cheating on me with my best friend."
"I wouldnt expect anything less," he said.
"But I have loved you too much to be willing to fully let you go. I know that this baby needs you, and I do too," she said firmly. "Ive had enough time to think this through, and I know that we have to do whats best for the baby.
"Its more than I expect from you," Blaine said.
"Lets just take this slow. First and foremost, we have a relationship as the parent of this child. And if I had to have anyone as the father, I guess Im glad its you," she said.
"Right."
"Youre also my ex-boyfriend, and being here with you gives me this pain in my chest," she continued. ‘Not to mention, the idea that you are now with my best friend is still sort of painful too."
"My guilt is almost unbearable," he informed her. "But you dont have to worry too much about Kurt. Right now, were still sort of... just friends, I guess. Its complicated."
"So lets just focus on our relationship as parents. We have so much to discuss concerning the child, and you should be a part of the process," she took his hand and placed it back on her stomach. "Well cross deeper paths of our own relationships or whatever else when we hit that bump in the road. Right now, we just need to be a family."
"Thank you," he said, feeling truly grateful that she was so understanding through all of this. "You know, with how mature you"re handling this, I think youre going to make a great mom."
"Ive just been trying to keep it together for the sake of the baby," she said, the corners of her mouth twitching. "We cant afford too much stress. Ive been taking this one day at a time."
"Yeah," he said, once more feeling guilty for causing her so much tension through her pregnancy. "But youre trying, and thats why youre going to be great. I know the baby is important to you, and thats all I can really hope for in my babys mother."
She smiled, "Thank you. I think youre going to make a great dad."
Feeling another kick from the baby, Blaine felt his heart swell with pride. Things werent perfect. He didnt know where he stood with Kurt, and Rachel was going to take time to get used to once again, but at least things were looking a little more promising for Blaine. Maybe they could make their dysfunctional family work after all.