If things hadnt been complicated before, they definitely were complicated now. This had become a nightmare and he couldnt wake up from it. Blaine ran over the facts in his head again and again. 

Kurt knew about the baby. Kurt knew that Blaine had lied to him, and he was now ignoring him all together. Rachel knew Blaine had cheated on her. What he didnt know was how much more she knew. Did she know he cheated with Kurt? Did she know that Blaine had lied to her about her best friend? What had they talked about when they were together?

He didnt know. He probably wouldnt ever know exactly what happened. But he did know that he had to talk to Rachel and find out what Kurt told her, since she had been honest with Kurt.

Unfortunately, Rachel seemed to be ignoring Blaine, as much as Kurt had been. He called her. He went to her apartment twice, and she never answered. It was like she had disappeared completely, and Blaine was beginning to grow anxious. Was she okay? Was the baby okay? Or was she simply ignoring him?, 

"Dude, take a break from studying and come play a video game with me or something?" Sam asked the next Monday evening. He sat across from Blaine at the kitchen table.

Since his fight with Kurt the other day, Blaine had drowned himself in his school work. He was down to his final week of the semester, and studying had been the easiest way to take his mind off everything. "No, thanks,; he told Sam, not glancing up from his book.

"Come on, please. Youve been in that book for days," Sam reached over and shut the book.

Blaine glared at him, "Sam, I told you that I dont want to. Leave me alone," he snapped. Grabbing the his book, Blaine made his way down the narrow hall and shut himself in the bathroom, locking the door. Staying with Sam had given him no privacy.They didnt have an extra room, so Blaine was forced to sleep on the couch. When he wanted to be alone, he resorted to locking himself in the bathroom.

Leaning against the door, Blaine sighed heavily, and pulled out his phone. He stared at Kurts name for a long moment and dialed the number, knowing Kurt wouldnt answer.

He didnt.

He then dialed Rachels phone number and waited. When she didnt reply, he left a voicemail, "Rachel, please... please call me back. We really need to talk."

After an hour of trying to study on the bathroom floor, someone knocked hard on the door. "Blaine, open the door. I have to pee," Mercedes called from the other side.

He slowly stood up and opened the door for her. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"Blaine, she said, before she shut the door behind him. "This whole hiding in the bathroom business is getting a little out of hand. I think we need to talk about this living arrangement."

Kurt had told him before that if things got cramped with Sam and Mercedes, he could come back to the apartment, but that offer probably didnt stand anymore. "Im sorry, he mumbled.

Honey, we dont mind having you here, but youre a hot damn mess right now, and I dont think hiding in our bathroom all day is going to make it any easier for you... or us," she said., leaning against the doorframe 

"I know," he said. "Im gonna go see if I can catch Rachel at home. See you," he quickly turned to leave, feeling embarrassed. .

Nothing worked anymore. Rachel and Kurt hated him, Sam and Mercedes were getting tired of him, and he simply had no where else to go. What was he supposed to do?

"What do you want for Christmas this year?" Blaine asked Savannah the following afternoon. He usually stuck to visiting her on Fridays but things had gotten so tight at the apartment that he just needed to get out.

"Blaine, you dont have to get me anything," she smiled. "You already draw for me every time youre here."

"What kind of kid doesnt want anything for Christmas?" he asked softly.

"This kid," she sighed. "I wouldnt have anywhere to go with it."

"What if I told you that I was giving you something anyway?" he pulled out a Cinderella barbie doll from his bag. "I know its early, but I wanted to give it to you now, because I booked a flight for the end of the week to spend Christmas in Ohio with my family."

"Youre leaving?" she pouted.

"Not until the end of the week, but its Saturday night, so I dont know if Ill be by Friday to see you," he handed her the doll. "I decided Id be better off at home, since my friends are a little mad at me here."

"Oh," she ran her hand across the plastic front to the box and smiled, "shes very pretty. Thank you, Blainey." She leaned over, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"She reminded me of you, because you told me that Cinderella found her place, when she didnt think she could. i dont know if I have a place, but you remind me that there must be somewhere for me," he touched the back of the box.

"Like being a daddy," she smiled

"Yeah," Blaine nodded.

"Ill keep my Cinderella forever," she said softly. "Will you open it for me?"

"Sure," Blaine tore the box open and pulled the doll out. Running the frail hair through his fingers, He stared at it for a long moment and said, "just think, this time next year, Ill have to buy toys for my own kid." The thought didnt even occur to him until they came out of his mouth, and he felt his stomach flip.

"I would wait to buy the baby a barbie though," she giggled. "Kids shouldnt have barbies when theyre a baby."

"Maybe by the time the baby is ready, youll be too old and want to give up yours and the baby can have your doll," Blaine held the barbie out for he rand she took it.

"If its a girl. You cant give it to a boy," a smile spread across her face and it made Blaine smile. Most of his discussions about the baby had involved fights with Rachel or Kurt. But with Savannah, it gave Blaine a chance to see things through easier eyes.

"Yeah, I guess youre right," he said. "Ill know soon enough if its a boy or girl, and then well make that decision." He couldnt wait to find out either, because it would bring this situation to a whole new level. After his fight with Kurt, Blaine needed to be reminded that the baby was the right choice for him. It had to be.

His phone began vibrating in his pocket and Blaine pulled it out. He saw Rachels name appear on the screen and held up a hand to Savannah. "Rachel?" he asked quietly.

"Hi, she said.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes," she said shortly. "Look, Blaine, we... we really need to talk. I know Ive been avoiding you. I just wasnt ready to face you yet, but  i know I cant avoid you forever."

"Should I come over?" he asked.

"No, no, not tonight." Rachel was quiet for a moment and then said, "Ill make dinner for Friday night, okay? I just need a couple more days to clear my head before I face this."

"Okay," he nodded.

It wasnt the perfect answer, but it was a start.

If Blaine was going to discuss things with Rachel, he had to see Kurt first. He didnt want to push, because he knew that would only drive Kurt away, but he had hoped that he could find a way to corner him.

On Thursday morning, Blaine waited in the coffee shop, hoping that Kurt would make an appearance. He hadnt been in the shop all week, but Blaine had a feeling hed be lucky today.

Shortly before eight oclock, a figure slowed down outside the window. Passersby quickly hurried around him but that figure stared into the coffee shop, searching the tables. When his eyes landed on Blaine, they widened in fear. He turned on his heel and strolled down the sidewalk.

"Kurt, wait!" Blaine called, the moment he was out the door. "Kurt, I need to talk to you!" He started down the sidewalk but stopped when Kurt turned on the corner and disappeared. Blaine sighed helplessly and threw the rest of his coffee in the trash.

So much for that.

 So when Friday came, Blaine made his way to see Savannah that morning. He was completely nervous, not knowing what he was about to face with Rachel, and decided he needed a little color to his day after all. She was thrilled to see him one final time before Christmas and gave hima gift of her own. She handed him a new bow tie and said, "I had my mommy pick it up for you. it reminded me of you," she gave him a warm smile.

"This is amazing," he said, staring at the blue bow tie with little crowns in the design. "Is this to remind me of Cinderella and Prince Charming? he asked, giving her a hug.

"Yep," she smiled.

Blaine spent the rest of the day in decent spirits, considering what he was about to face that evening. He was still nervous, but seeing Savannah again reminded him that he head to be positive, because anything short of that would cause more trouble.

When he rapped on his old apartment door some hours later, he took a deep breath and waited patiently. Blaine knew this could end in a number of ways and he wasnt prepared for this at all. 

"Hi," Rachel said, ushering him inside.

"Rachel, you look - "

"Fat?" she finished for him, placing her hand on her growing belly. It was definitely more noticeable than the last time Blaine had seen her. How could that much have changed in a couple weeks? He felt like he was missing so much.

"No, you look beautiful," he said quietly.

"Dont try to flatter me," she mumbled, slamming the door behind him.

"Im not," Blaine said truthfully. "Youre carrying my child, you look anything but fat or terrible. Trust me."

"Well, thanks, I guess," she said awkwardly. Gesturing for him to take a seat at the table, She sat across from him and began shoveling salad on to her plate and said, "so here wee are again..." Knowing they had plenty of discussions at this very table in the last few weeks, he was sure she was nervous about this particular discussion..

"What happened between you and Kurt?" Blaine asked flatly.Tthere was no point beating around the bush..

"He didnt tell you?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Not exactly," Blaine said. "He was sort of distraught the last time I talked to him and hes been avoiding me ever since... Just like you. Rachel, please, I need to know what happened."

"I told him about the baby," she started. "And he was upset, no doubt. Apparently he had reason to believe that it was something he should know, and he was right, wasnt he?"

"Yes," Blaine admitted.

"How could you not tell me you slept with him?" she said, her fork clattering to the table.

"It took everything in me to even tell you i cheated," he replied.

"But Kurt? Of all people, you slept with Kurt," she stated, staring at him with wide eyes. "Even more than that, how could you not tell me that youre gay, Blaine? You lied to me for three years."

"Excuse me?" Blaine said, startled. 

"He told me this wasnt some experiment you were doing. He told me. Kurt told me that you had been confused for a long time and just stuck out our relationship, because you thought it was the right thing to do," she stood up. "You lied to me for three damn years, Blaine Anderson," she cried. Tears formed in her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand. Standing there for a moment, she let the tears fall and Blaine didnt know what to do. When she was calm enough to speak again, she placed her hand on her hip, and said in a higher voice, "Three years. You led me on for three damn years. You told me you loved me. You gave me the hope that we had a future together, and then you went and got me pregnant,"

Pushing aside the anger that burned toward Kurt for telling Rachel all of this, Blaine stared at her with an open mouth, too stunned at her words. This couldnt be happening.

Rachel bowed her head and said, "And now that Im all fat and hideous, you turn around and admit that Im not what you want. You couldnt even tell me. You told my best friend and then slept with him." Her shoulders began to tremble and she buried her face in her hands.

"Im so sorry," he said, rising from his chair. He made his way around to her side of the table and placed his hand on her stomach. "Rachel, Im so sorry. I never planned for things to go like this."

"Dont even bother telling me about that stupid pan of yours. We talked about our future for so long, and we had it all planned out," she shoved his hand away from her abdomen. "You threw it out the window in one night."

"I didnt know what to do, Rachel, okay?" Blaines voice grew louder. He could feel his temper rising. Yes, he had been wrong, but she was too busy wallowing in her own anger to stop and listen to him. "I spent years trying to push my feelings away. I didnt want to be gay. I tried so hard to tell myself that I could love you enough to push those feelings away. I thought I had myself convinced, because I do love you, Rachel. And I got to a point where I couldnt imagine my life without you. I was scared and I didnt know what to do.

"But Kurt came along and I got really confused. I tried pushing my feelings toward away and I just couldnt," he continued, balling his hands into fists. "And then you told me about the baby and i knew I couldnt leave you. I didnt mean to sleep with Kurt. I was vulnerable and it happened. I cant tell you any other way than it just sort of happened. I never wanted to hurt you and I didnt want to jeopardize my chances with this baby. I cant tell you how horrible I feel." 

"And what? Im just supposed to accept that as an apology?" she cried, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.

"I dont know. I dont think youll ever be able to forgive me. It was wrong, Rachel, and I am so, unbelievably sorry." Tears formed in his eyes and he reached out his hand to touch her stomach again. "I love this baby, and I love you. I dont want to lose this."

"But you cant be with me," she said, hanging her head. A sob escaped her throat and she buried her face in her hands once again. When Blaine pulled her close to his chest, she didnt pull away. She clung to his shoulder and cried into his shirt 

Blaine let his own tears fall silently, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. He didnt know what to do. He didnt know how to dig himself out of this hole he created. He knew his chances with Kurt were over, but he also knew that his time with Rachel was over. He had to be there for her, but how could he do that when she was hurting so deeply over him?

In time, Rachel pulled away from him. She clutched her belly and stared at Blaine with red, puffy eyes. "I promised you that I wouldnt keep the baby from you and I meant that..."

"Thank you," he whispered, stepping closer.

She took a step away from him. "But I cant be with you anymore, Blaine. I cant pretend that we still have a chance at being a perfect family, because I know now that I will never be able to trust you. I know that youll never be able to love me fully, and I cant live with that heart ache, not after the way I loved you."

"i know," he whispered.

"I want you to get the rest of your stuff out of this apartment as soon as possible. I dont want you here anymore." She pointed toward the corner of the room, where a stack of boxes stood. "I made up my mind a few days ago and collected these for you."

"Rachel, please," he said quietly, feeling like the remainder of his world had crumbled at his feet..

"I cant do this," she shook her head.

"What about the baby? I cant leave you alone and pregnant with my baby," Blaine said. She had to know that there was no way he could walk away from this.

"I will keep you updated. I will be a part of your life as much as i can, when im ready, and I dont feel like i have this big empty hole in my chest. But right now, I need my space so please just go," she said, her voice shaking.

"Im so sorry," Blaine whispered.

There was two things Blaine was absolutely sure of at this point.

One: He now felt like the biggest asshole in the world. He hurt Rachel in the worst possible way he could, at the worst possible time. Not to mention, he hurt Kurt in the process. Everything he had known and loved was falling away from him. It was out of his grasp, and he wasnt sure there was a way to get any of it back.

Two: Something Rachel said had struck a chord with Blaine. IN all this guilt of feeling sorry for Kurt, he realized that Kurt had outted him to Rachel. Kurt had spilled one of Blaines biggest secrets to his pregnant girlfriend, causing her more pain than she should bare at this point in her life.

So that Saturday afternoon, before he went to the airport, Blaine made a stop at Kurts apartment. He banged on the door and waited, his pulse beating quickly through his body.

"What are you doing here?" Dylan greeted him, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I need to see Kurt," Blaine answered.

"I dont think thats a good idea," Dylan responded, attempting to shut the door.

"Dylan, please," Kurts quiet voice came from behind him. He appeared at his boyfriends shoulder a moment later, and brushed by him. He grabbed Blaines arm and pulled him into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. "What do you want?" he asked, leaning against the wall behind him with a stony expression on his face.

"You had no right to tell Rachel my secret," Blaine started. 

"What? Like you had no right to keep the pregnancy from me? Like you had no right to keep me from your pregnant girlfriend?" Kurt said harshly. "I expected better from you, Blaine."

"I expected better from you," Blaine shot back. "I know what I did was wrong, and Ive told you that Im sorry. But telling Rachel that Im gay was none of your business."

"Dont you think she would have figured it out once I told her that you slept with me? It was only a matter of time before she knew. You cant lie forever about anything. The truth always comes out," Kurt kicked off from the wall. "I didnt mean to tel her anything. It came up and I didt have another choice. I dont believe in outting people, and Im sorry that it happened, but you had your chance, you had three years of chances and you could have spared yourself a lot of embarrassment."

"So now its just back to being my fault?" Blaine said hotly.

"Yes," Kurt nodded. "All of this is your fault. I know that Ive left holes in my relationship, and I know that Ive made mistakes. But this drama between us and Rachel is your fault. You could have been honest with both of us from the beginning, and you chose to lie. You could have told her the truth from the beginning, so dont you dare turn this on me, Anderson."

"Kurt - "

"I wont stand for you blaming your problems on me. You acted on your feelings for me. You got Rachel pregnant. You lied. Not me," Kurt stepped toward him and said, "I dont like that you showed up to my place and pointed your finger at me, accusing me of your problems. I made my decision and Im not making you my problem anymore." He turned on his heel and headed back toward his apartment.

"Kurt, please - " Blaine pleaded.

"Dont come back here, Blaine. I dont want to hear your excuses anymore," Kurt said coldly, before he slammed the door in his face.

Blaine made his way to the airport, feeling empty. In the busy crowd of passengers heading to and from different gates, Blaine felt like a lost speck in the traffic. He felt like another number as he got shoved through security and boarded on to the plane. He felt like a tiny speck as he rose higher and higher above the earth, leaving behind the people he couldnt imagine losing for good. He was lost and alone, and he knew that he had to find a way to turn all of this around, before Rachel and Kurt cast him aside, losing him in the shuffle completely.