The throbbing on the side of his head was so strong that Blaine had no intention of getting out of bed. He wanted to get in the shower but he had no motivation.

The thing that changed his mind was his cell phone ringing across the room on the dresser. Blaine slowly sat up and rubbed his forehead, letting out a long groan.

"Hello?" he said. Not hearing anything, he said more loudly, "Hello?!" Looking at the screen, Blaine realized his phone was upside down. He flipped it around and repeated, "Hello?"

"Hi," Kurts soft voice came through the phone and Blaine felt every part of him relax.

"Youre speaking to me?" Blaine asked.

"Im sorry about last night," Kurt said slowly. "I was just really upset that you werent here and I sort of just... lost it."

"Its okay. I understand," Blaine said truthfully. He hadnt been himself in weeks. It was only a matter of time before Kurt started going crazy too.

"Are we okay? I hate fighting with you," Kurt said, his voice full of concern.

"Just so we come to the conclusion that we arent handling this the same way," Blaine informed him. "You want New York but I started looking for a job here."

Silence.

"Here we go," Blaine sighed, knowing where this was going.

"Why the hell would you do something like that?" Kurt barked. "I know you said that you werent sure you wanted to leave but youre really just not coming back to New York?"

"I dont know! Its not like I applied. I was just looking, in case we changed our minds. I wouldnt do anything without you," Blaine argued.

"Really? Do you realize youre already making a decision by looking?" Kurt huffed. "Blaine, do you realize how much work youve already missed here? Were losing money."

"I know that, okay? Theyve been really good about the situation but I am gonna have to go back next week," he paused. "But maybe thats not the answer. Maybe we need a new change."

"I told you that Im not giving up my job. I love my life here," Kurt said hotly.

"Im sure you could find something here youd like," Blaine suggested.

"I cant leave New York, Blaine. This is home. I left Ohio because I didnt fit in there. And I cant leave Rachel knowing that shes pregnant with our baby," Kurt told him.

At this, Blaine froze. "You know that or are you still just guessing?"

"She had an appointment the other day," Kurt explained. "Were having a baby."

"Oh."

"I tried to tell you but you didnt answer my calls for two days, and when I tried to tell you last night, you were too caught up in arguing," Kurt said.

"Shit," Blaine smacked his forehead. Had he really been so distant that he missed it? "Kurt, Im so sorry. If I had known -"

"Its done. Its over," Kurt said shortly. "I kind of wanted to share the moment with my husband but apparently I dont know when Im going to see you again."

"Kurt -"

"No, its fine. Its... its whatever. You think Im in the wrong for walking away, but at least Im willing to admit that Im hurting and I need you. I guess youre too caught up in your own life to care," Kurts bitter voice was then caught off by the call ending.

"Kurt," Blaine said quietly. He tried calling Kurts number again but the call was sent to voicemail.

So far, Kurt hadnt showed much emotion. It was no surprise. Kurt had learned to build up his walls and not show how much he was really hurting over something, but Blaine felt guilty for not knowing better. He should have tried harder to be there for Kurt.

But he had been selfish and now he might be too late.

"Can I have another beer?" Blaine asked the bartender. He waited, while the man grabbed another bottle and handed it to him. "Thanks," Blaine mumbled, taking a swig.

Kurt had been distant with him the last two days and Blaine was beginning to feel guilty. He had made the decision to go home at the end of the week, because he knew it was time to go back to Kurt. He couldnt wait for Belle forever.

But he wasnt ready just yet. Blaine had so much guilt building inside him that he needed a couple days to forget about it without Kurt nagging him about drinking too much.

Kurt didnt understand how he felt. The guilt from never fixing things with his father. The guilt of letting Belle disappear while he was responsible for her. The guilt of pushing Kurt aside and letting him hurt on his own. Kurt didnt understand and he had no where else to turn but to the alchohol.

After Blaine drank that beer, he stared at the text message on his phone.

(10:43) Rachel: Did your ass of a husband tell you the good news the other day?

(10:46) Blaine: That depends in what newss.

(10:48) Rachel: Im pregnant. Youre gonna be a dad again.

(10:51) Blaine: Oh yea I new that

(10:53) Rachel: Just checking. I figured he was good at keeping secrets so I wasnt sure if he told you.

(10:54) Blaine: Secrets?

His phone began to ring and her name appeared on the screen.

"What?" he asked harshly.

"Well, judging by the state of your texts, youve been drinking. So Id rather not do this over text message... Kurt didnt bother to tell me that Belles missing," Rachel said.

"Oh, that," Blaine said.

"Im guessing he told you not to tell me too," Rachel continued. "I mean, I never heard from you either."

"I dont remember," Blaine said, rubbing his forehead, trying to recall what Kurt said.

"Honestly, I just need to figure this out. Im so angry that he didnt tell me, and yet I never took it out on you. But at the same time, I need someone to talk to about this. I miss her. I know Sam loves Belle but its not the same, you know?" Rachel rambled. "Im not sure how to approach Kurt and you and I have always been close. I thought maybe I could talk to you about it."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Blaine asked, taking another bottle of beer from the bartender. "Theres nothing I could do to make you feel better."

There was silence on Rachels end. When she spoke, Blaine could tell her voice was shaking. "I dont know. Come home. Tell me that its okay to feel like my world is caving in. Tell me that its going to be okay."

"I cant do that, Rach," Blaine slurred.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I dont believe in happy endings anymore," Blaine said. "They dont exist."

"Wh- why?" she said quietly. "Do you know something?"

"No, thats the problem. Im sorry, Rachel. I cant give you any comfort because Ive got nothing left to give," Blaine hung up the phone and pocketed it. He then stood up and felt the room spin beneath him.

"Whoa!" a voice called, as a pair of strong hands caught Blaine around the torso and straightened him on his feet. "Too much to drink?"

"No, I only had..." Blaine paused, not even sure how many beers he had.

"Youve been sitting here sulking in a bottle for a while now," the voice continued. "Im sure youve lost count."

"How do you know?" Blaine asked, surprised.

"Because Ive been watching you," the man gave Blaine a gentle shove back on to the barstool. "I thought you looked pretty out of it."

"Oh," Blaine hiccuped. "Well, Im fine but thank you."

The man sat down next to Blaine and smiled warmly, "Need any company?"

Blaine simply shrugged.

"Im Dave," he held out a hand and Blaine lazily shook it.

"Blaine."

""Id offer you a drink but by the looks of you, I think youve had enough," Dave glanced over him. "But like I said, I can offer you my company."

Blaine waved the comment off, "my intention for drinking tonight was to forget my problems. I could use another beer."

At this, the bartender slid another beer across the counter and Dave reached for it. "Do you already feel like hell, Blaine?" he asked.

"Mhm," Blaine nodded, feeling his stomach turn. He reached for the bottle and Dave pulled it back.

"Do yourself a favor and go home," Dave suggested. "Id offer to give you a ride but you dont know me and Im not sure how youd feel about that."

Shrugging again, Blaine said, "What does it matter? I stopped giving a shit a while ago."

Dave awkwardly flinched, before he took a deep breath and said, "well, if you want a ride, Ill give you one... or I can pay for a cab."

"No, just take me home," Blaine stood up again and swayed on the spot. Head spinning, he bent over and vomited at Daves feet.

"Oh! Okay... Yeah..." Dave leapt backwards. "Yeah, lets get going." He grabbed Blaine and pulled him closer. Placing an arm around his torso, Dave led Blaine out to a silver SUV in the parking lot. "Here, Id prefer you sit in the back in case you puke again. You can lie down if you want to."

"Thanks," Blaine grumbled. His mind felt fuzzy as Dave helped him into the car. Leaning his head against the cool window, Blaine closed his eyes. He heard the car start up and mumbled, "1642 Boxwood Lane."

"I was just going to ask," Dave chuckled. He shifted the car into reverse and took off.

At this point, Blaine knew in the back of his mind that this was a dangerous idea but he needed a ride home and Dave seemed nice enough. He also felt like he didnt care what happened and that was probably his drunken state talking.

When they arrived in the driveway, Dave got out of the car and came around to open the door for Blaine. He whipped the door open and scanned him closely. "Are you going to make it to the door okay?"

"Yeah, Im great," Blaine scooted to the edge of the seat and stumbled toward the ground. He felt Daves arms grab him once more and he stared at the man before him. "Thanks again," he said quietly. He stared at Dave and blurted out, "I like your eyes."

"Yeah..." Daves eyes widened and he leaned in close to Blaine. Gently pressing his lips to Blaines, Daves hand moved to hold his shoulder.

Startled, Blaine was surprised how much he liked the way Daves kiss felt. He didnt move as Dave deepened the kiss. It wasnt until Dave pulled back that Blaine felt his stomach turn. His eyes widened and he said. "Woah."

"Here. Ill walk you to the door." Dave placed his arm around Blaines torso like before and led him to the door. "If you ever need a ride home again, give me a call."

"I dont have your phone. I mean, number," Blaine shook his head.

"Let me see your phone," Dave took the device from him and dialed a number. The phone in his pocket started ringing and he hung up. "Now you do."

"Okay," Blaine said quietly. "Thanks for the ride." He stumbled through the front door and crashed on the couch, having no energy to make it upstairs.

(8:56) Unknown Number: Hows that hangover treating you this morning?

(9:13) Blaine: Im sorry... Who is this?

(9:16) Unknown Number: I had a feeling youd be too drunk to remember. This is Dave. I brought you home last night. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

(9:21) Blaine: Oh... Well, thanks for that. How did you get my number?

(9:23) Dave: You gave it to me, you know, after we kissed.

(9:45) Blaine: We didnt kiss.

(9:46) Dave: Oh yes, we did.

(9:48) Blaine: We didnt kiss.

(9:50) Dave: Was I that bad?

(10:03) Blaine: Meet me at the coffee shop on Elm Street. 15 minutes?

(10:04) Dave: Okay.

Blaine quickly got dressed. Ignoring the pounding headache he had, he rushed off to the coffee shop, hoping this guy would show up.

His chest felt tight. He couldnt believe things had spiraled this far out of control. How has he kissed someone else? He was usually horny when he was drunk, but had he felt so lonely that he acted out on someone else?

As soon as he saw the burly man sitting there, Blaine knew it was the same person he encountered last night. He remembered talking to him before but he still couldnt remember kissing him.

Tapping the man on the shoulder, Blaine asked, "Dave?"

"Hi!" he smiled, standing up to greet Blaine. "Im sorry for all the confusion. I was honestly just trying to be helpful last night... My best friend died a few years ago from drinking and driving. He swerved into a tree... Im a little too cautious sometimes, even to strangers."

Holding up a hand to silence him, Blaine replied, "Its fine. I was drunk, so I wasnt even in the right frame of mind. I probably needed the ride."

"You seem like a nice guy and I wondered if, maybe, you want to get to know each other a little better," Dave raised an eyebrow. "I know nothing about you, but youre cute and I know you felt the same thing I did when we kissed last night."

"Dave, thats flattering but - "

"Why does there have to be a but?" Dave interrupted, watching him closely. "Cant we just be friends and see where this goes?"

Sighing, Blaine closed his eyes, he still didnt know this man and he was being unusually friendly. "I could use a friend but thats it. This isnt going anywhere because Im -"

"Well see," Dave winked. Reaching his hand across the table, Dave placed it over Blaines and added, "Look, Im sorry for being so forward. Last night you looked like you needed some help. I know what its like to be in a dark place and I thought this would be a good opportunity to do something for somebody else. You said you could use a friend, right?"

"Yeah..." Blaine said slowly.

"Lets just start there," Dave smiled. "If you want to talk, Im all for listening."

"I guess that wouldnt hurt," Blaine smiled. "But I should warn you that Im heading to New York in a couple days, so I wont be around."

"Thats okay. If you ever want to text or call me, you know how to reach me," Dave said.

"Thanks," I appreciate that," Blaine replied.

"I missed you so much!" Kurt embraced Blaine at the baggage claim in the airport a couple days later. "It feels like its been so long."

"I missed you too," Blaine kissed him swiftly, before turning to the luggage to look for his suitcase. "Im really sorry that it took me so long to get here."

"Hey, its okay. After I left, I totally understood why you didnt want to leave," Kurt lunged forward and grabbed the blue suitcase to his right. "Here it is."

"Thanks," Blaine smiled weakly. He took the suitcase from him and took Kurts hand in the other. "How are you doing?" Blaine asked.

Kurt shrugged, "keeping busy. Its all I really can do to keep my mind off... Belle." He winced at the mention of her name.

Rubbing his thumb along Kurts knuckles, Blaine said soothingly, "I know. Its hard. I havent had much to keep my mind off of it."

"What about you? How are you doing?" Kurt genuinely sounded concerned.

Blaine thought back to the week he had. Every night was spent out at the bar. The last two nights were spent talking to Dave. He told him about how his daughter was missing and he was concerned for her. He told him about his estranged relationship with his now late father. He talked about how tired he was of feeling hopeless and thats why he had been drinking for days. Dave has been a good listener and kept a limit on how much Blaine was aloud to drink.

But he couldnt tell Kurt that he had been drowning his sorrows in alcohol.

"Im okay. Happy to be home," Blaine reassured him. He led Kurt toward the nearest subway and they made their way home.

The moment they entered the apartment, Blaine froze. It was eerily quiet and he shivered slightly. It was so clear that something was missing. "Youve been dealing with this by yourself?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Kurt nodded, heading into the kitchen. "Its worse in her room. Ive only been in there once. I couldnt stand it."

"Damn," Blaine huffed. He walked toward Belles door and pushed it open. Scanning the clean room, he took a deep breath and stepped inside. Running his hand along the edge of the dresser, Blaine stopped and stared in the mirror.

He hadnt shaved in almost two weeks for lack of motivation and it was really starting to show. His curly hair was uncontrollable. But the thing that surprised him most was the hollow look in his eyes. His eyes were almost a faded brown rather than their usual hazel. He has been falling apart on the inside but he didnt know it was changing his appearance on the outside.

Turning away from the mirror, Blaine moved to the bed and picked up the picture frame on the night stand. He ran his hand over Belles face and closed his eyes, wishing he could hold her in his arms.

A knock on the front door pulled Blaine from his thoughts. He set the frame down and wiped the tears from his eyes, making his way back to the living room.

"Hey, dude!" Sams voice carried across the room. "Its about time you came back!"

"I know," Blaine gave him a hug. Pulling back, he spotted Rachel in the corner and moved toward her. "Hey there."

"Hi, Blaine," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I missed you," she told him, burying her face in his shoulder. "Im also glad youre still speaking to me. I was worried I made you mad the other day."

"I missed you too," he replied, waving off the comment. He almost forgot about their phone conversation. When she let go, Blaine cupped her cheek and smiled at her, "And Im really glad to hear that things are going well."

"At least for this little one," she touched her stomach and frowned. Her lip began to quiver and she squeaked, "I wish we could say the same for Belle."

"I know," Blaine pulled her into another hug and gently rubbed her back. He felt tears form in his eyes and he tried to fight it.

Sam stepped closer and patted Rachels back, "its okay, babe." He looked at Blaine and said, "Shes been really emotional about it."

Stepping away from Blaine, she turned to face Kurt and said, "Which is why I understand that you were trying to protect me. I still hate that I was the last to know but I cant stay angry with you. We have more to worry about than that."

"Aw, thanks, lady," Kurt walked over and hugged her. "I was hoping youd understand." He led her to the kitchen and said, "Let me get you something to drink."

When they were out of earshot, Sam stepped closer and quietly asked, "Hey, dude. Are you okay? You look like hell."

Blaine shrugged, "Theres nothing to worry about. Trust me, Im fine."

Clapping a hand on his shoulder, Sam assured him, "Well, Im always here for you if you need it."

"Thanks," Blaine nodded.

Rachel came back with a glass of water in her hand and Kurt followed with a bottle of wine and three glasses. "Ive got some wine, if you want to stay for dinner."

"Tease," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Thatd be great. We can catch up," Sam smiled, taking a glass from Kurt.

Pouring one and handing it to Blaine, Kurt said, "Ill throw in a chicken in a few minutes." He gave Blaine a peck on the cheek and smiled.

Staring at the glass of wine, Blaine felt his stomach flip. He had been deep enough in alcohol this week. He shouldnt encourage the habit, especially around Kurt. His husband would be upset if he knew what Blaine had been doing.

"Are you okay? Your hands are shaking," Sam said quietly, so only Blaine could hear.

"Huh? Yeah, Im fine," Blaine set the glass of wine on the counter and said, "Im just going to run to the bathroom." He bolted for the bathroom and locked the door behind him. Leaning against the door, Blaine sank to the floor and closed his eyes. He could feel his hands trembling and covered his face.

Everyone knew this was hard. Sam, Kurt, and Rachel were devastated over Belle but they had no idea how much Blaine had fallen apart. How guilty he felt about his dad, Belle, and kissing Dave. He couldnt let them see how broken he was.

After a couple moments, a pounding on the door caused him to jump. Rachels voice came through, "Blaine, Im gonna be sick. Please let me in."

Climbing to his feet, Blaine swung the door open and watched Rachel run by him. She bolted for the toilet and fell to her knees. Blaine watched her vomit into the bowl. She sat back on her feet and ran a shaky hand across her forehead.

"Are you okay?" Blaine knelt down next to her and rubbed her back.

"Im fine. The perks of being pregnant, huh?" Rachel croaked. She turned to face him and her eyes went wide. "I think the better question is: are you okay? You look awful."

"Im fine," he said too quickly.

Narrowing her eyes, Rachel said sternly, "Blaine Devon Anderson, I have known you for eleven years. I know when youre lying. Whats wrong?"

"Rachel, I swear Im fine," Blaine shrugged. "Its nothing, really. Its silly."

She smiled sadly, running a hand through his thick curls, "When you get to a point when you arent fine, will you please tell someone? I dont care if its me or Kurt or whatever. Dont deny it. Were all hurting. Its okay."

"Im fine," Blaine insisted.

Grabbing his hand, Rachel said, "Look, you dont have to tell me anything. But promise me, youll at least tell Kurt. Hes your husband. Hes a right to know whats on your mind."

"Of course Id tell him," Blaine simply said. He then stood up and helped pull Rachel off the bathroom floor, leading her back into the living room.

Kurt smiled weakly at him, and Blaines heart dropped to his stomach. Kurt already had so much on his plate. He didnt need to worry about Blaine too. He knew Rachel was right, Kurt had a right to know.

But Blaine had no intention of telling Kurt anything.