Nov. 10, 2013, 6 p.m.
I'll Remember : Chapter 3
M - Words: 1,169 - Last Updated: Nov 10, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: Nov 02, 2013 - Updated: Nov 02, 2013 207 0 0 0 0
I know its kind of depressing but I have some massive four book series plan and I promise it gets better. Quick question: would you rather continue with this level of detail about his sessions or have a general they continued for a year and this, that and the other happend and me only go into improtant events? It basically depends on how quickly you want to hear what happens to Blaine (which is book two). This one should be finished by Christmas.
"Kurt!" his uncle called from downstairs. He rarely saw his uncle before their evening meal so to hear his voice was surprise. Kurt opened the door, took a deep breath and then went down to see what his uncle wanted. Almost anything wanted would not be good.
Kurt walked into the living room biting his lip to calm his nerves. He wasnt chewing too hard but his lip was already bleeding; old scars re-opened. His uncle was smiling. There was something really wrong now. Nothing today so far had made sense. When his uncle smiled it meant something bad, but those sorts of thing rarely happened before 9pm.
"You called." Kurt said sourly. He said almost everything sourly now.
"I just wanted to know hoe your session went. I heard you made some progress." Great, thought Kurt. He wants to talk about my have GAY.
"Nothing much happened different really. I was asked questions and I answered them but I cant remember what they were." Why was his uncle asking about it? As far as Kurt was concerned, no progress was made. His uncle frowned as his words and signaled for Kurt to come and sit down opposite him.
Slowly chewing and gnawing harder at his lip, he went and sat down. "Kurt, you know why you are here right?" his uncle asked politely but with threatening undertones. It frightened Kurt. He knew why he was here, he was here to protect Blaine but why his uncle wanted him he still didnt really understand. After Kurt didnt say anything, uncle opened his mouth to speak again. "You are here because we need to protect you. You were forced into being someone youre not. You were in a bad relationship. That Blaine guy forced himself on you. We are here to help you. But you need to help yourself. You know that we cant do anything if you keep trying to stop it! You werent a bad person before him. But now you are bad, and we want to make you goo."
Kurt couldnt believe what he was hearing. Was he really a bad person? Why else would everyone he now knew want to destroy him.
"You may go Kurt."
Kurt ran back up the stairs to his room, flung to door open and then slammed it shut once he was inside. He fell down the back of his door until he was hugging his knees. Rocking back and forward with his nails digging into the skin on his ankles, he was beginning to draw blood.
I cant live like this any longer. They all think I am bad. Blaine. It is Blaines fault. They said it was his fault. Maybe it was his fault? He was my first kiss. No! It was David. It was his fault. He made me bad when he kissed me. But I was like this before that. Maybe it is Brits fault. She could have made me hate girls. No! It was my fault. Ive always been this way; my own family hating me my whole life. He never once loved me. My dad cant help me here. Hes forgotten. I am forgotten. I am alone.
Blood was dripping down and pooling on the floor. The shredded skin was under his nails and hanging loose. It was only then Kurt realised what he had done. He threw himself forwards onto the floor and wept into the carpet. What was there left in the world to love?
~§~
It was one week on, and Kurt was heading down to his session with Emma. Since starting those, Kurt had been slightly more unsure of himself and the world seemed to make less sense - although he did enjoy not having to be lectured on his sexual orientation. The sessions seemed a lot shorter as he spent the majority of them asleep. He had stopped worrying what actually happened in the sessions after the third one, as they had been no major change.
He knocked on the oak door and when Emma called him in, he walked in somberly.
“Would you like to take your usual seat please Kurt on the sofa.” Kurt walked over to it and lay down. It was comfy and he soon relaxed. Emma was smiling and rushing through her notes excitedly.
“Ok, so today is a big day.” She said under her breath, “Now Kurt darling, close your eyes and picture Blaine - his hazel eyes, dark curly hair, his perfect triangular eyebrows, his shoulders, his back, his chest, his torso, his birthmark; every big and every little detail. Remember the last time you fell asleep in his arms. Him holding you, protecting you; doing what you thought as right.”
Kurt was so caught up in that memory of pure bliss he failed to realise that there is no way Emma would normally let Kurt imply such things about Blaine, let alone talk outright about them herself. He was slowly falling into a deep sleep in the imagined arms of the one he loved. He could feel his warm breath on his shoulder and their feet being intertwined.
When Emma was sure Kurt was under, she brought out the box.
“Kurt,” she said in that low whisper, “Picture Blaine the first time you saw him. Describe him to me.”
“Beautiful. Enchanting. His eyes locked with mine and I felt like I was staring into love itself.”
Buzz!
Emma pressed her magic button and Kurt's head jerked.
He mumbled and then went on, “He gripped me from the star and from that point on, I was lost to him.” That was how Emma wanted it phrased.
“Then what happened?” Emma prompted.
“He grabbed my hand, and ran down the corridor with me. We were alone. His hand was so soft and so firm.”
Buzz!
“Did you feel safe with him, a stranger, all alone like that?”
Buzz!
“We had only just met, but he seemed so friendly. But I was nervous when I was around him.”
Buzz!
“Nervous Kurt, you were nervous. Did it scare you? Were worried what might happen? You were all alone with a stranger who gripped you hand straight away and then dragged you down a corridor where no body else was.”
Buzz!
“I don't know.” Kurt said. He was confused and scared now.
Buzz!
“I don't know!” he said a little louder and with more force.
Buzz!
“I don't know!” he shouted. He was writhing around on the sofa and his fists were clenching and unclenching. He lost control of his body then – his toes kicking at the scars on his ankles, and his teeth raping through his lip.