March 27, 2012, 2:47 p.m.
Oblivious
If there's one thing the Anderson brothers have in common it's how oblivious they can be about the feelings of those important to them.
K - Words: 1,038 - Last Updated: Mar 27, 2012 2,370 0 6 10 Categories: Angst, Drama, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Cooper Anderson,
Blaine loved his brother. He really did. But sometimes, actually most of the time, Cooper was pretty obtuse. Even worse than Blaine had been last year at Valentine's Day when Kurt had admitted to liking him. Blaine might not notice someone having a romantic interest in him when they were throwing themselves at him every chance, but Cooper was a whole other ballpark.
On Tuesday Cooper had shown up in McKinley's halls as charming and suave as ever. Cooper had swooped in with his all of his Hollywood charm and made all of New Directions, including Kurt, melt into puddles of goo. He'd given Blaine his usual ribbing, commenting on his height, his gelled down hair, but Blaine could give right back for that. It was the fact that everyone important to him suddenly seemed to forget him once Cooper's bright spotlight surrounded him, and Cooper was completely oblivious to it.
Even at dinner with their parents, Cooper just babbled on about his career and acting gigs out in Hollywood. Blaine was happy for his brother's success, but did he really have to talk about it nonstop to the point where their father side-eyed Blaine and started telling him he needed to buck up and be more like Cooper? And Cooper just smiled that charming, bright smile all the while, not realizing how much it hurt to be belittled like that. Not realizing that to Blaine the remarks stung more than a slap, because he could hear the truth behind their father's words even if Cooper couldn't.
You could do everything as perfectly as your brother and you'll never be good enough. You'll never be perfect enough to make up for that boy you hang around.
No, Cooper would just invite him out to his latest movie set over the summer or whatever break was closest. Their father's harsh words for his younger son always went right over Cooper's head, almost as though he was immune to them. Like they couldn't penetrate the years of praise and encourage the same mouth had always given him.
All week the tense had been building inside of Blaine despite how much he tried to smile and go along with everyone comparing him to Cooper, or talking about how great his older brother was. Even though Cooper was making time for just the two of them it didn't stop Blaine's anger at everyone around him. His parents had actually made dinner every night this week, had been home by half past five and sat down at the table that Blaine usually inhabited alone. His friends were pestering him nonstop to ask Cooper this or that, or get him to come to this party or practice so they could show him off.
Nobody wanted him around – they just wanted Cooper.
Blaine jabbed hard, cutting across his brother's defensive posture forcefully. Cooper stumbled a bit and laughed happily. Boxing together was one of their favorite past-times. Cooper had been the one who started teaching Blaine after his accident. As soon as Blaine had been able to stand and walk Cooper had started teaching him.
"Damn, you've gotten strong since last summer," Cooper commented, ducking and twisting away from where Blaine's fists were swinging.
"I've changed a lot since then," Blaine grunted, his fist slamming into Cooper's shoulder. "Not that anyone. Ever. Notices."
With each word he swung harder, landing a few hits on Cooper's chest, shoulder, and forearm. Cooper stumbled a little again, seeming off-balance by the aggression and strength Blaine was showing.
"Oh, come on," Cooper said, grunting as he jabbed. Blaine blocked the punch, and his lips curled. "Mom and Dad adore us– "
"No," Blaine snapped. "They adore you."
Now that'd he'd opened his mouth he couldn't seem to stop. It had all been building for years ever since they were kids. They'd been the best of friends back then, but then Cooper ran off to Hollywood and got famous, and Blaine got all the backlash for it. For the disappearing act and his own inadequacy at measuring up to Cooper. He'd been hearing everything he needed to go to be "more like Cooper" all week and he hated it. Why couldn't Blaine be someone to be proud of? Why wasn't he good enough?
Cooper mouth opened a little in surprise at his words. "Blaine, what– "
Blaine fists slammed forward again as sweat dripped down his neck and brow. Cooper stumbled from the force of the blow, but remained upright. "You just don't get it. You don't get it at all, Cooper!" His fists continued to pound away at Cooper's raised forearms, but Blaine couldn't stop himself. He'd been holding it all in for years and once it started flooding out there was no stopping it. "It's always Cooper this or Cooper that or why can't you be more like your brother, huh?" Blaine spat, his right fists knocking Cooper's arms down as Cooper looked stunned. "When are you going to grow up and stop messing around with that stupid boy and find a girl, Blaine?" he snarled, as his left arm swung forward. "Why can't you be more like Cooper!"
A yelp broke him from the haze of anger clouding his mind. His fist had connected with Cooper's jaw, knocking him backwards onto his ass. The weight of the emotion pouring out of him dropped him to his knees. He could feel Cooper's eyes on him, wide and stunned at the words he'd all but screamed.
"Blaine, I– "
"Just go," Blaine choked out, shifting until he could pull his knees up against his chest. "You only make it worse."
He heard the squeak of Cooper's shoes on the floor as his brother stood up, and then the bang of the garage door behind him.
Cooper didn't get it, and Blaine didn't expect him to. His brother was everything his parents, his friends, the world wanted, and Blaine was just there. Just the accident his parents hadn't wanted, the new kid the Glee Club hadn't wanted to welcome, the gay kid the world kept wanting to hide back in the closet. He would never measure up to Cooper's perfection, because he wasn't perfect, and even if he tried to be, it wouldn't matter. Because Cooper had been perfect first, and was perfect in ways Blaine would never be.
Comments
Amazing, amazing, amazing, I love these...
Simply perfect
All the blangst feeeeeelings!! Also I would die to see Matt and Darren box.
Rip my heart out why dontcha?
Awwww Poor Blainers, but seriously Zane how do you do it how do you make me feel so many emotions in one fic?
Stophurtingmethiswaymyheartsbleedingjuststopitokay? Okay.NO DON'T EVER STOP I WAS JUST KIDDING