Yoyodiza
Dec. 30, 2011, 8:40 a.m.
I Will Carry You Through It All
Blaine and his father have a huge argument, which results in Blaine going to Kurt for help. Kurt does his best to help his boyfriend, but sometimes things are not so easy to fix. Based on the song 'Not Alone' by RED.
K - Words: 3,101 - Last Updated: Dec 30, 2011 870 0 0 0 Categories: Angst, Songfics, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: established relationship, hurt/comfort,
Author's Notes: Mention of slight abuse (hitting)
“ I can’t believe you did it again. You screwed up, again!”
“Dad, I didn’t screw up. I’ll do better next time, I promise -”
“Promises are not good enough, Blaine. You promised me when you went back into public school you would retain your grades. But seeing your report card, I can tell that failed.”
“Dad, it’s one grade -”
“Bs will not get you into Law school.”
“Do I have to remind you I don’t want to go to Law School? I want to go to college in New York.” Blaine’s father looked at him in disdain.
“Doesn’t that Kurt kid want to go to New York?” Blaine hesitated before answering.
“Yes, but that’s not the point -”
“So you’re going to throw away your education and a decent career to follow a boy? Have I taught you nothing?!”
“I’m not following Kurt, but he is part of the reason I want to go. I love him.”
“What do you know about love? You are seventeen years old. You’re a baby. Besides, what if he goes off with someone else while you’re still here?”
“Kurt would never cheat.”
“I’m not saying that he would. I’m just saying you should prepare your heart in case. Wouldn’t some distance be good for you both?”
“We’re going to be distanced anyway. But we’re going to make this work. We’re stronger than you think.”
“I bet he’s the reason your grades are slipping.”
“No, of course he’s not.”
“Blaine, I was young once. People get carried away when they’re “in love”. But you need to be logical. Perhaps you should stop seeing him for a bit, get your grades back on track.”
“Dad, it’s one grade! I am straight As in everything else! And how dare you try to break my relationship! I know you’re not comfortable with me dating a boy instead of a girl, but you have to face the fact that you have a gay son. I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”
“Blaine, you are my son. I only want the best for you. But you have to understand that New York is not all it is cracked up to be.”
“There are great colleges in New York.”
“Not the best for law.”
“For the last time, I don’t want to go into law. I want to be a performer!”
“No Anderson will waste time and money on a hobby. Think about your future!”
“I am!”
“I mean seriously think! You can’t live in this dream world forever!”
“It’s not a dream world! It’s what makes me happy!”
“Like that’s the most important thing.”
“It is to me.”
“How will happiness buy you food and a home? You’ll be homeless if you set down this path.”
“Dad, I have told you, this is what I want to do. And I’m not just being stupid. I know the risks. But I know they will pay off, because I am willing to try. Which is more than I can say for you.”
Blaine’s father stood fuming, a few metres away from Blaine. Arguments like this were not unusual, but they never usually lasted this long. And usually Blaine accepted the criticism begrudgingly, and would not raise his voice. But tonight was the final straw. He’d had such a lovely day with Kurt, and had come home to find his father stomping around the house because Blaine had gained a B in gym class. Blaine was not worried, but his father blamed this slip in grades on Kurt. Whenever Kurt entered the equation in an argument, Blaine didn’t think twice about defending his boyfriend.
“What did you mean by that comment?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Just because you were repressed, doesn’t mean I have to be trapped too.” Blaine’s father opened his mouth in shock, which mirrored Blaine’s own expression. Blaine had never been so impolite to his father. Blaine’s father’s past was not something the Andersons ever talked about. It was just taboo. He couldn’t believe he’d just said that to his father. Out of nowhere, a hand came down and hit Blaine full force in the face. The impact caused Blaine’s head to turn, and he toppled over in surprise.
“Dad - Dad I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”
“Get out.” Blaine stopped in his tracks.
“W-what?”
“You heard. Get out of my house.”
“But Dad -”
“GET OUT! GET OUT! And don’t bother coming back!” His father bellowed. Blaine did not think twice. Before he realised what he was doing, his legs were pelting out of the door, his car keys in one hand. He raced to his car, fumbled to get the keys in the lock, then quickly entered the vehicle. He began to start up the car, shaking as he tried to get out of there fast. He looked up as he saw the front door slam with finality. His father wasn’t going to forgive him.
Trying to stop the bile from rising in his throat, he pulled out of the drive way, and screeched along the road, away from his neighbourhood. What was he going to do? Had his Dad kicked him out for good, or was he just really mad? He looked as if he could murder Blaine at that point. Blaine kept his gaze on the front window as he drove, but he couldn’t keep focused. The memory of his father’s pained and terrifying face remained etched on his mind, and he couldn’t escape it. What was he going to do? He clenched the wheel tightly, trying to stop the fear from taking over him. He hated people being disappointed him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle his father hating him. The pain in his cheek was beginning to sting. He hoped that it wouldn’t leave a bruise.
It was starting to get dark, and he didn’t want to be out late. But he couldn’t go home. Not with his Dad being in such a murderous mood. He could call Kurt, but he didn’t want to bother his boyfriend. He had enough to deal with without Blaine turning up unexpectedly on his doorstep. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin such a great day. They had spent all day at the park, just being with each other and being in love. Blaine smiled to himself for a second, before remembering the situation. He knew his father was wrong about him, yet the look of hurt on his face as Blaine tore his defences down made Blaine feel so guilty. He hated hurting people, even if they deserved it.
He drove around Lima mindlessly for an hour or so, before deciding to stop and think. Reluctantly, he parked the car in a bay, and stared into space. He didn’t want to get out; he just wanted to stay protected inside the car. He checked his watch. 11:31pm. It was getting late, and he knew his father would start to worry. Well, he would under normal circumstances. Who knew what he thought of his son now? Perhaps he never wanted to see him again. Blaine really didn’t want to go home. He couldn’t. He held his head in his hands, as he tried breathing deeply to keep calm.
He wanted more than anything to have Kurt just hold him and tell him everything would be okay. Kurt was good at that. Blaine didn’t want to intrude on his boyfriend, which is why he hadn’t turned up sobbing on his doorstep. But perhaps a phone call wouldn’t hurt. Just to hear his voice, and know that there was one good thing left in his life. With a sigh of relief, Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialled Kurt’s number, and held it to his ear. It rang a few times, before Kurt’s angelic voice reached him.
“Hello?”
“Hi Kurt.”
“Hey honey, what’s up? Not like you to ring this late.” Blaine swallowed, trying to stop tears from spilling down his cheeks. Hearing Kurt’s voice made him even more emotional than he had been. He composed himself, before answering.
“N-nothing, I’m okay. I just wanted to hear your voice.” There was a moment of silence, before Kurt replied.
“Blaine has something happened?” Blaine blinked in surprise.
“No, what makes you say that?”
“You just sound a bit hoarse. Where are you?” Blaine was still stunned by Kurt’s perception. “You’re not at home, are you Blaine?” Reluctantly, Blaine shook his head, before realising Kurt couldn’t see him.
“No, I’m not at home. My Dad and I had an argument, and he chased me out of the house. I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to bother you. I only wanted to hear you speak, but -”
“Blaine, where are you?” Kurt asked more forcefully.
“In my car, in Lima. I’ve been driving around not knowing what to do.”
“Blaine, come to mine. We’ll figure this out. Just get yourself here, and you can stay as long as you want.”
“But Kurt, your Dad -”
“Will understand. Can you get here, or do you want me to come and get you?” Blaine was a little flabbergasted.
“It’s okay, I can drive. But are you sure?”
“Blaine, baby, I love you. I’m not going to have you wondering around with nowhere to go. Just be careful, okay?” Blaine swallowed the sobs that were threatening to take him over.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
“Blaine?” Kurt called out a little anxiously.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” Blaine smiled.
“I love you too. See you soon.”
….
Kurt paced the hallway back and forth, waiting anxiously for the arrival of Blaine. He’d explained to his Dad what had happened, and his Dad was absolutely fine with Blaine staying over. It was just a matter of Blaine arriving, but he hadn’t turned up yet. Kurt knew relations with Blaine and his father weren’t great, but he didn’t think Blaine’s father would actually chuck him out. Well, whatever happened now, Kurt was going to be there for Blaine.
There was a knock at the door, and Kurt was there in an instant. He wrenched open the door, to find a dishevelled, anxious Blaine waiting for him.
“Blaine -” Kurt was cut off by the huge hug Blaine enveloped him in. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist tightly, as he buried his head into the crook of his neck. Kurt quickly reciprocated, as he absentmindedly rubbed his hands over Blaine’s back.
“Blaine, look at me.” Hesitantly, Blaine raised his head and looked into Kurt’s eyes. Kurt gently raised his hand to Blaine’s face, tracing over his cheek soothingly. Blaine suddenly scrunched his eyes shut, desperately trying to stop the tears. “What happened Blaine?”
“My Dad - I think he chucked me out.” Tears began to cascade down his face, so Kurt gently ushered him inside the house.
“Come on, lets go upstairs.” Kurt closed the door behind them and took Blaine’s hand. He led him up the stairs and took him into his room. Blaine began to object.
“Won’t - won’t your Dad mind if I’m in here?” He said once the door was closed. Kurt shook his head, as he led Blaine towards the bed, motioning for him to sit down.
“No, he knows you’re here, and he’s fine with it.” Blaine smiled for a second.
“Okay, great.” Then his smile fell. Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his once again when they were both seated.
“Blaine. What happened?” Kurt tried again. Blaine’s face crumpled, as he tried to find the words to say. Kurt brought his free arm to wrap around Blaine’s shaking form, pulling their bodies closer together. Blaine allowed himself to be pulled into Kurt, happy to have some comfort.
“We were having an argument, and it got really heated.”
“What was the argument about?” Blaine leaned into Kurt, his eyes still shut.
“Just the usual. Grades, school, my future… you.” Kurt’s heart stopped in his chest.
“Me? I’m sorry Blaine -” Blaine opened his eyes, and looked into Kurt’s startled face.
“Kurt, it wasn’t anything you did. He was just saying stupid stuff to wind me up. It wasn’t your fault.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand.
“And then?”
“He - he hit me, after I called him repressed. He was trying to box me in and I insulted him.” Kurt’s mouth fell open.
“He hit you?” Blaine nodded into Kurt’s shoulder, still looking into his face.
“In the face.” Kurt gasped, as he realised that one of Blaine’s cheeks did look slightly darker than the other.
“Oh - oh my god, Blaine, why didn’t you say sooner? You should have called me straight away -”
“He didn’t mean to do it! I really insulted him, and then I took it too far -”
“Blaine, he had no right to hit you at all! We should call the police -”
“No, no we shouldn’t!” Blaine suddenly sounded very worried and frightened, which caused Kurt to stop his rant.
“But Blaine, he hit you -”
“But I provoked him.” Kurt looked down at him, dumbfounded.
“Please don’t tell me you blame yourself for this.” Blaine looked down, not meeting his eyes. Kurt’s heart broke.
“Oh Blaine.” Blaine let the sobs out finally, as Kurt leaned in and kissed his temple. “Blaine, none of this is your fault.”
“But it is. I started the argument. If only I hadn’t failed gym class…”
“Blaine, you got a B.”
“Your point being?”
“In most people’s books, a B is not a fail. Is this your Dad being a perfectionist, because earlier you seemed fine with it, but now you’re anxious over it?” Blaine didn’t speak, as he took in what Kurt was saying. Tears remained to stream down, but with less intensity now.
“Maybe. He just made such a big deal out of it.” Kurt rubbed his thumb soothingly over Blaine’s knuckles, which seemed to calm him down. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t go back grovelling, but I can’t avoid him forever either. He was so angry.” Kurt untangled his arm from around Blaine, and moved so he was kneeling in front of his boyfriend. He never let go of his hand.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too. Me and my Dad will take care of everything, if you can’t face him. You can stay here for as long as you want and need.” Blaine looked down at Kurt through his tears, and smiled properly.
“What did I do to deserve you?” Kurt smiled, as he leaned up and pressed a small kiss to Blaine’s sore cheek.
“On the contrary, I believe it is the other way around.” Moving his lips from Blaine’s cheek to his forehead, he pressed a lingering kiss there, before standing up. He tried to pull Blaine up with him, to which Blaine happily obliged. “Come here.” Kurt motioned for Blaine to stand in his arms. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist securely, and let his head rest in the crook of Kurt’s neck once more. It felt like home. Kurt placed his hands on Blaine’s back, keeping him in his embrace. They began to sway in a small dance, content that there was no music playing and that it was just the two of them together.
Kurt was beginning to think everything would be okay, when he felt Blaine’s shoulders shaking again. Oh no. Gently, Kurt brought his hand up to the back of Blaine’s head, as he tenderly stroked his hair. He could feel hot, wet tears begin to drip through his shirt, but he didn’t care. His other hand soothingly stroked Blaine’s back, as he began sing quietly into Blaine’s ear.
Slowly fading away
You're lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold
Looking for a distant light
Someone who could save a life
You're living in fear that no one will hear your cries
Can you save me now
He could feel Blaine hold onto him tighter, as the sobs began to erupt through him. Kurt could feel each deep breath, each sob, each tear as if they were his own. He continued to sing, to let Blaine he was not alone.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you’re not, you’re not alone
As soon as Kurt sang the chorus, Blaine’s shaking became less pronounced, but was nonetheless still there.
Your heart is full of broken dreams
Just a fading memory
And everything's gone but the pain carries on
Lost in the rain again
When will it ever end
The arms of relief seem so out of reach
But I, I am here
Kurt moved his arms up and down Blaine’s body slowly, emphasising that he was there, and that he would protect Blaine no matter what.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you’re not, you’re not alone
Kurt could feel tears begin to well in his own eyes, as he realised that Blaine had been broken today, and it would take a long time to fix him and make him whole. No matter how much Blaine and his Dad had their differences, they still loved each other beneath it all. If only Kurt could take all the pain away. His voice cracked slightly as sang the next part with more power.
And I'll be your hope when you feel like its over
And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters
And when you're finally in my arms
Look up and see love has a face
Blaine finally looked up at Kurt, through his tear-stained eyes, and saw such adoration reflected back at him.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you're not, you're not alone
And I will be your hope
And I will pick you up
And I will be your hope
And I will be your hope
Slow fading away
You’re lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold.
Kurt finished singing, and looked down at Blaine. The sobs had stopped, but the tears remained. Kurt’s fight with himself not to cry finally ended as tears began to fall down his face. Kurt laughed a little nervously, as he tried to wipe away his own tears, but was stopped when Blaine brought his finger up and to wipe them away. Kurt blushed, as he mentally kicked himself for showing weakness, when Blaine was the one who needed comforting.
Blaine smiled again.
“Thank you.” He whispered. Kurt nodded, trying to stop the tears.
“Anytime.” Kurt reached up with his hand and cupped Blaine’s sore cheek. He rubbed his thumb over the skin tenderly, as Blaine closed his eyes. It was in that moment that Blaine realised that although people would let him down, and would hurt and leave him broken, he knew that as long as he had Kurt, he was not alone.
“Dad, I didn’t screw up. I’ll do better next time, I promise -”
“Promises are not good enough, Blaine. You promised me when you went back into public school you would retain your grades. But seeing your report card, I can tell that failed.”
“Dad, it’s one grade -”
“Bs will not get you into Law school.”
“Do I have to remind you I don’t want to go to Law School? I want to go to college in New York.” Blaine’s father looked at him in disdain.
“Doesn’t that Kurt kid want to go to New York?” Blaine hesitated before answering.
“Yes, but that’s not the point -”
“So you’re going to throw away your education and a decent career to follow a boy? Have I taught you nothing?!”
“I’m not following Kurt, but he is part of the reason I want to go. I love him.”
“What do you know about love? You are seventeen years old. You’re a baby. Besides, what if he goes off with someone else while you’re still here?”
“Kurt would never cheat.”
“I’m not saying that he would. I’m just saying you should prepare your heart in case. Wouldn’t some distance be good for you both?”
“We’re going to be distanced anyway. But we’re going to make this work. We’re stronger than you think.”
“I bet he’s the reason your grades are slipping.”
“No, of course he’s not.”
“Blaine, I was young once. People get carried away when they’re “in love”. But you need to be logical. Perhaps you should stop seeing him for a bit, get your grades back on track.”
“Dad, it’s one grade! I am straight As in everything else! And how dare you try to break my relationship! I know you’re not comfortable with me dating a boy instead of a girl, but you have to face the fact that you have a gay son. I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”
“Blaine, you are my son. I only want the best for you. But you have to understand that New York is not all it is cracked up to be.”
“There are great colleges in New York.”
“Not the best for law.”
“For the last time, I don’t want to go into law. I want to be a performer!”
“No Anderson will waste time and money on a hobby. Think about your future!”
“I am!”
“I mean seriously think! You can’t live in this dream world forever!”
“It’s not a dream world! It’s what makes me happy!”
“Like that’s the most important thing.”
“It is to me.”
“How will happiness buy you food and a home? You’ll be homeless if you set down this path.”
“Dad, I have told you, this is what I want to do. And I’m not just being stupid. I know the risks. But I know they will pay off, because I am willing to try. Which is more than I can say for you.”
Blaine’s father stood fuming, a few metres away from Blaine. Arguments like this were not unusual, but they never usually lasted this long. And usually Blaine accepted the criticism begrudgingly, and would not raise his voice. But tonight was the final straw. He’d had such a lovely day with Kurt, and had come home to find his father stomping around the house because Blaine had gained a B in gym class. Blaine was not worried, but his father blamed this slip in grades on Kurt. Whenever Kurt entered the equation in an argument, Blaine didn’t think twice about defending his boyfriend.
“What did you mean by that comment?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Just because you were repressed, doesn’t mean I have to be trapped too.” Blaine’s father opened his mouth in shock, which mirrored Blaine’s own expression. Blaine had never been so impolite to his father. Blaine’s father’s past was not something the Andersons ever talked about. It was just taboo. He couldn’t believe he’d just said that to his father. Out of nowhere, a hand came down and hit Blaine full force in the face. The impact caused Blaine’s head to turn, and he toppled over in surprise.
“Dad - Dad I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to -”
“Get out.” Blaine stopped in his tracks.
“W-what?”
“You heard. Get out of my house.”
“But Dad -”
“GET OUT! GET OUT! And don’t bother coming back!” His father bellowed. Blaine did not think twice. Before he realised what he was doing, his legs were pelting out of the door, his car keys in one hand. He raced to his car, fumbled to get the keys in the lock, then quickly entered the vehicle. He began to start up the car, shaking as he tried to get out of there fast. He looked up as he saw the front door slam with finality. His father wasn’t going to forgive him.
Trying to stop the bile from rising in his throat, he pulled out of the drive way, and screeched along the road, away from his neighbourhood. What was he going to do? Had his Dad kicked him out for good, or was he just really mad? He looked as if he could murder Blaine at that point. Blaine kept his gaze on the front window as he drove, but he couldn’t keep focused. The memory of his father’s pained and terrifying face remained etched on his mind, and he couldn’t escape it. What was he going to do? He clenched the wheel tightly, trying to stop the fear from taking over him. He hated people being disappointed him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle his father hating him. The pain in his cheek was beginning to sting. He hoped that it wouldn’t leave a bruise.
It was starting to get dark, and he didn’t want to be out late. But he couldn’t go home. Not with his Dad being in such a murderous mood. He could call Kurt, but he didn’t want to bother his boyfriend. He had enough to deal with without Blaine turning up unexpectedly on his doorstep. Besides, he didn’t want to ruin such a great day. They had spent all day at the park, just being with each other and being in love. Blaine smiled to himself for a second, before remembering the situation. He knew his father was wrong about him, yet the look of hurt on his face as Blaine tore his defences down made Blaine feel so guilty. He hated hurting people, even if they deserved it.
He drove around Lima mindlessly for an hour or so, before deciding to stop and think. Reluctantly, he parked the car in a bay, and stared into space. He didn’t want to get out; he just wanted to stay protected inside the car. He checked his watch. 11:31pm. It was getting late, and he knew his father would start to worry. Well, he would under normal circumstances. Who knew what he thought of his son now? Perhaps he never wanted to see him again. Blaine really didn’t want to go home. He couldn’t. He held his head in his hands, as he tried breathing deeply to keep calm.
He wanted more than anything to have Kurt just hold him and tell him everything would be okay. Kurt was good at that. Blaine didn’t want to intrude on his boyfriend, which is why he hadn’t turned up sobbing on his doorstep. But perhaps a phone call wouldn’t hurt. Just to hear his voice, and know that there was one good thing left in his life. With a sigh of relief, Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialled Kurt’s number, and held it to his ear. It rang a few times, before Kurt’s angelic voice reached him.
“Hello?”
“Hi Kurt.”
“Hey honey, what’s up? Not like you to ring this late.” Blaine swallowed, trying to stop tears from spilling down his cheeks. Hearing Kurt’s voice made him even more emotional than he had been. He composed himself, before answering.
“N-nothing, I’m okay. I just wanted to hear your voice.” There was a moment of silence, before Kurt replied.
“Blaine has something happened?” Blaine blinked in surprise.
“No, what makes you say that?”
“You just sound a bit hoarse. Where are you?” Blaine was still stunned by Kurt’s perception. “You’re not at home, are you Blaine?” Reluctantly, Blaine shook his head, before realising Kurt couldn’t see him.
“No, I’m not at home. My Dad and I had an argument, and he chased me out of the house. I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to bother you. I only wanted to hear you speak, but -”
“Blaine, where are you?” Kurt asked more forcefully.
“In my car, in Lima. I’ve been driving around not knowing what to do.”
“Blaine, come to mine. We’ll figure this out. Just get yourself here, and you can stay as long as you want.”
“But Kurt, your Dad -”
“Will understand. Can you get here, or do you want me to come and get you?” Blaine was a little flabbergasted.
“It’s okay, I can drive. But are you sure?”
“Blaine, baby, I love you. I’m not going to have you wondering around with nowhere to go. Just be careful, okay?” Blaine swallowed the sobs that were threatening to take him over.
“Okay, I’ll see you soon.”
“Blaine?” Kurt called out a little anxiously.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” Blaine smiled.
“I love you too. See you soon.”
….
Kurt paced the hallway back and forth, waiting anxiously for the arrival of Blaine. He’d explained to his Dad what had happened, and his Dad was absolutely fine with Blaine staying over. It was just a matter of Blaine arriving, but he hadn’t turned up yet. Kurt knew relations with Blaine and his father weren’t great, but he didn’t think Blaine’s father would actually chuck him out. Well, whatever happened now, Kurt was going to be there for Blaine.
There was a knock at the door, and Kurt was there in an instant. He wrenched open the door, to find a dishevelled, anxious Blaine waiting for him.
“Blaine -” Kurt was cut off by the huge hug Blaine enveloped him in. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist tightly, as he buried his head into the crook of his neck. Kurt quickly reciprocated, as he absentmindedly rubbed his hands over Blaine’s back.
“Blaine, look at me.” Hesitantly, Blaine raised his head and looked into Kurt’s eyes. Kurt gently raised his hand to Blaine’s face, tracing over his cheek soothingly. Blaine suddenly scrunched his eyes shut, desperately trying to stop the tears. “What happened Blaine?”
“My Dad - I think he chucked me out.” Tears began to cascade down his face, so Kurt gently ushered him inside the house.
“Come on, lets go upstairs.” Kurt closed the door behind them and took Blaine’s hand. He led him up the stairs and took him into his room. Blaine began to object.
“Won’t - won’t your Dad mind if I’m in here?” He said once the door was closed. Kurt shook his head, as he led Blaine towards the bed, motioning for him to sit down.
“No, he knows you’re here, and he’s fine with it.” Blaine smiled for a second.
“Okay, great.” Then his smile fell. Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his once again when they were both seated.
“Blaine. What happened?” Kurt tried again. Blaine’s face crumpled, as he tried to find the words to say. Kurt brought his free arm to wrap around Blaine’s shaking form, pulling their bodies closer together. Blaine allowed himself to be pulled into Kurt, happy to have some comfort.
“We were having an argument, and it got really heated.”
“What was the argument about?” Blaine leaned into Kurt, his eyes still shut.
“Just the usual. Grades, school, my future… you.” Kurt’s heart stopped in his chest.
“Me? I’m sorry Blaine -” Blaine opened his eyes, and looked into Kurt’s startled face.
“Kurt, it wasn’t anything you did. He was just saying stupid stuff to wind me up. It wasn’t your fault.” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand.
“And then?”
“He - he hit me, after I called him repressed. He was trying to box me in and I insulted him.” Kurt’s mouth fell open.
“He hit you?” Blaine nodded into Kurt’s shoulder, still looking into his face.
“In the face.” Kurt gasped, as he realised that one of Blaine’s cheeks did look slightly darker than the other.
“Oh - oh my god, Blaine, why didn’t you say sooner? You should have called me straight away -”
“He didn’t mean to do it! I really insulted him, and then I took it too far -”
“Blaine, he had no right to hit you at all! We should call the police -”
“No, no we shouldn’t!” Blaine suddenly sounded very worried and frightened, which caused Kurt to stop his rant.
“But Blaine, he hit you -”
“But I provoked him.” Kurt looked down at him, dumbfounded.
“Please don’t tell me you blame yourself for this.” Blaine looked down, not meeting his eyes. Kurt’s heart broke.
“Oh Blaine.” Blaine let the sobs out finally, as Kurt leaned in and kissed his temple. “Blaine, none of this is your fault.”
“But it is. I started the argument. If only I hadn’t failed gym class…”
“Blaine, you got a B.”
“Your point being?”
“In most people’s books, a B is not a fail. Is this your Dad being a perfectionist, because earlier you seemed fine with it, but now you’re anxious over it?” Blaine didn’t speak, as he took in what Kurt was saying. Tears remained to stream down, but with less intensity now.
“Maybe. He just made such a big deal out of it.” Kurt rubbed his thumb soothingly over Blaine’s knuckles, which seemed to calm him down. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t go back grovelling, but I can’t avoid him forever either. He was so angry.” Kurt untangled his arm from around Blaine, and moved so he was kneeling in front of his boyfriend. He never let go of his hand.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want too. Me and my Dad will take care of everything, if you can’t face him. You can stay here for as long as you want and need.” Blaine looked down at Kurt through his tears, and smiled properly.
“What did I do to deserve you?” Kurt smiled, as he leaned up and pressed a small kiss to Blaine’s sore cheek.
“On the contrary, I believe it is the other way around.” Moving his lips from Blaine’s cheek to his forehead, he pressed a lingering kiss there, before standing up. He tried to pull Blaine up with him, to which Blaine happily obliged. “Come here.” Kurt motioned for Blaine to stand in his arms. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist securely, and let his head rest in the crook of Kurt’s neck once more. It felt like home. Kurt placed his hands on Blaine’s back, keeping him in his embrace. They began to sway in a small dance, content that there was no music playing and that it was just the two of them together.
Kurt was beginning to think everything would be okay, when he felt Blaine’s shoulders shaking again. Oh no. Gently, Kurt brought his hand up to the back of Blaine’s head, as he tenderly stroked his hair. He could feel hot, wet tears begin to drip through his shirt, but he didn’t care. His other hand soothingly stroked Blaine’s back, as he began sing quietly into Blaine’s ear.
Slowly fading away
You're lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold
Looking for a distant light
Someone who could save a life
You're living in fear that no one will hear your cries
Can you save me now
He could feel Blaine hold onto him tighter, as the sobs began to erupt through him. Kurt could feel each deep breath, each sob, each tear as if they were his own. He continued to sing, to let Blaine he was not alone.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you’re not, you’re not alone
As soon as Kurt sang the chorus, Blaine’s shaking became less pronounced, but was nonetheless still there.
Your heart is full of broken dreams
Just a fading memory
And everything's gone but the pain carries on
Lost in the rain again
When will it ever end
The arms of relief seem so out of reach
But I, I am here
Kurt moved his arms up and down Blaine’s body slowly, emphasising that he was there, and that he would protect Blaine no matter what.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you’re not, you’re not alone
Kurt could feel tears begin to well in his own eyes, as he realised that Blaine had been broken today, and it would take a long time to fix him and make him whole. No matter how much Blaine and his Dad had their differences, they still loved each other beneath it all. If only Kurt could take all the pain away. His voice cracked slightly as sang the next part with more power.
And I'll be your hope when you feel like its over
And I will pick you up when your whole world shatters
And when you're finally in my arms
Look up and see love has a face
Blaine finally looked up at Kurt, through his tear-stained eyes, and saw such adoration reflected back at him.
I am with you
I will carry you through it all
I won't leave you I will catch you
When you feel like letting go
Cause you're not, you're not alone
And I will be your hope
And I will pick you up
And I will be your hope
And I will be your hope
Slow fading away
You’re lost and so afraid
Where is the hope in a world so cold.
Kurt finished singing, and looked down at Blaine. The sobs had stopped, but the tears remained. Kurt’s fight with himself not to cry finally ended as tears began to fall down his face. Kurt laughed a little nervously, as he tried to wipe away his own tears, but was stopped when Blaine brought his finger up and to wipe them away. Kurt blushed, as he mentally kicked himself for showing weakness, when Blaine was the one who needed comforting.
Blaine smiled again.
“Thank you.” He whispered. Kurt nodded, trying to stop the tears.
“Anytime.” Kurt reached up with his hand and cupped Blaine’s sore cheek. He rubbed his thumb over the skin tenderly, as Blaine closed his eyes. It was in that moment that Blaine realised that although people would let him down, and would hurt and leave him broken, he knew that as long as he had Kurt, he was not alone.