Rachel gripped Blaine’s hand, and he turned to look at her. Tears streaming her cheeks, he used his free hand to wipe one dry and tried to give a somewhat comforting smile. That was always one of Blaine’s strengths, he figured. Being able to show a strong image to the world, when he was breaking down on the inside. As Finn and Burt walked forwards slowly, Rachel and Blaine turned their heads to watch their worst nightmares unfold in front of them. Finn shifted the coffin on his shoulder slightly, trying to keep himself together.

Burt’s face was blank. Blaine tried to catch eye contact for just a second, but Burt just stared ahead. He didn’t seem to have any emotion; it was almost like he was alive but dead both at the same time. It broke Blaine and he turned into Rachel, tears running down his cheeks and mouth gaping open slightly, trying to catch a breathe. Rachel took her hand away from his and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her shoulder. She felt his body give in, his knees weaken and she was literally the only thing keeping him standing upright. Carole wrapped her arm around his waist from the other side of him, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.
“It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay.” She whispered to him, almost trying to convince herself at the same time.

After a few moments, Rachel and Carole lowered Blaine into his seat. Rachel never loosened her grip, and he seemed to cling onto her tighter, needing a support, a lifeline. When Finn walked to his seat, he pressed his hand to Blaine’s back and rubbed softly before sitting next to Rachel, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands.

“Kurt was, the strongest person I ever knew.”
Blaine lifted his head from Rachel’s shoulder and forced himself to sit back in his own chair. He span the ring on his finger around, over and over, never taking his eyes away from it. Burt’s speech continued, speaking about Kurt’s mother, his singing, his friends, and Blaine.

When Blaine heard his name, he looked up through teary eyes. Burt was looking directly at him for the first time since the news.

“Blaine is everything that I wanted Kurt to find. He made Kurt stronger, and gave him courage. He…” Burt’s voice broke slightly. “He might not want to hear this, but, Blaine? You need to.” Burt took a deep breath. “Kurt said to me…years ago, when you kids first got together, that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to encourage you to…to…” Burt looked down, shuffled his cards together and then back up to meet Blaine’s eyes. Tears were rolling silently down Blaine’s cheeks, his eyes red and puffy from hours of endless crying. “To, move on… and kid? You know he’s looking down on you right now, yelling at you for staying in and crying so much. I know what you’re gonna say, and I don’t disagree with you. You’ll never find anyone like Kurt. But you need to try. Not yet….not until you sort yourself out, but, one step at a time.” Blaine dropped his gaze back down to his ring. “Oh, and kid?” Blaine looked up again, his breaths coming short and sharp through his tears. “You will always be a part of the Hudmel family.” Carole squeezed Blaine’s knee.

Burt finished his speech in tears and Finn stepped up to help him down from the podium, back into his seat. Finn took Burt’s place and cleared his throat.

“I-I wasn’t sure, what I’m really meant to say here. Kurt’s usually the person to help me out with these kinds of situations, because, I think we all know I’m not good with speeches. So…I asked the Glee club to help me put together a video for Kurt instead. Something we knew he’d appreciate more than me talking about everything.” Finn smiled slightly and stepped down, back to his seat.

Everyone looked up to the screen as a video began to play. Images of Kurt and his mother and father, slowly getting older and older as the video went on. Music accompanied the video, and as soon as the voices hit her ears, Rachel looked over at Blaine, visibly keeping tears inside.

“The song…the song that won us Nationals in Kurt’s senior year.”

Blaine heard Kurt’s voice come over the speakers, singing perfectly. He let the tears run, smiling slightly at how proud he was of Kurt. Their voices joined together for the chorus and Blaine choked out a sob.

And there’s no mountain too high,
No river too wide,
Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide…
But I love you
I love you
Until the end of time
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
Until my dying day.

Rachel wrapped her arm around Blaine shoulders as they watched the images on the screen. Small silent clips of Kurt and Blaine laughing at Christmas time, pulling Christmas crackers, and Kurt kissing Blaine hard and excitedly as he got the bigger half. Blaine chuckled at the recollection.

Kurt was an awful loser.

The memories went on. Kurt and Blaine’s first trip together to New York with Rachel and Rachel and Kurt running down the road outside of Broadway, staring up at it together as Blaine filmed them.

Blaine and Kurt kissing in the snow outside the Hudmel house leant up against a car, unknown that the video camera watching the area for thefts was filming them.
Pictures of Kurt and Blaine at Disneyland on holiday with Blaine’s family.

At McKinley for Kurt’s graduation, and then again for Blaine’s.

Kurt and Blaine sharing a kiss after their double date with Finn and Rachel.

Blaine didn’t know at the time, that that would be their last kiss. He didn’t know that offering to drive Finn and Rachel back to Rachel’s meant that Kurt would get trapped in a car crash. The car heading straight for the restaurant window, crushing Kurt between it.

The doctors had told Blaine over and over again, “We’re doing everything that we can.” But nothing was ever enough. Blaine waited in the hospital with Burt, Carole, Finn and Rachel for over 3 weeks. Still no improvement. The crash had given him extreme brain faculties, and it was unlikely he would ever come around. But he was holding on. And every day that Blaine sat at his bed side, holding his hand, singing to him, reading to him and talking about his day, Blaine felt that connection still. Until one day Kurt wasn’t there anymore. Blaine was talking to him, and his heart monitor beeped. For all the weeks that followed, all Blaine could hear was that beeping, and the nurses yelling at him to move so they could get to Kurt. But it was all too late; Blaine clutched at Kurt’s hand, tears streaming down his face, as if everything was in slow motion.

Burt and Finn literally peeled Blaine’s hand away from Kurt’s and dragged him out of the room to give the nurses room to work.

It seemed like hours until they heard anything. Burt had moved to the chair in the corner of the corridor, his face emotion-less, somewhat numbing to everything. Blaine sat on the floor exactly where Burt and Finn had let him collapse to. They left him to cry, let him get it all out. Blaine’s stomach felt sore from his tears, and he slumped over slightly, practically laying on the floor.

“He’s gone.” was all the nurse said. It’s all Blaine heard anyway, his mind collapsing on him at that moment, and all he could hear was the beeping again.

Watching the video montage brought everything back to him, but he didn’t have the energy to sob anymore. Instead, silent tears rolled slowly down his cheeks. The video drew to a close, the last image being a picture of Kurt and Blaine kissing under a piece of mistletoe which Kurt was holding up. Blaine’s last Christmas surprise which Kurt had arranged. Blaine wiped his tears roughly, and stood up walking over to the podium.

He cleared his throat. “I-I don’t have a speech either. Singing was such a huge part of both of our lives, and” His voice broke. “I don’t think Kurt would have wanted this any other way.”

Blaine stood down a few steps, and the CD player started playing a track. Blaine took a breath.

First kiss, first touch, first time you ever said it back
When I close my eyes, I still remember
Too much, too fast, too good to every make it last,
And when I woke up you were gone,…
Now I keep dreaming of falling back to sleep,
‘Cause I know you will be waiting there for me
And every breath keeps me praying for the night,
‘Cause I know you’re on the other side,
But I’m wide awake,
I’m wide awake
Since you went away,
I’m wide awake.

The Glee club and Warblers all rose from their seats in the ceremony, and walked behind Blaine, backing him up with harmonies. Every one of them touched him briefly as they walked past, a brush on the arm, a squeeze of the shoulder, some form of support to show they were there.

Last hope, last chance, last time I ever felt alive
Was before the morning pulled you under
Tonight, too close to lose the only thing that I ever believed could save me now
Now I keep dreaming of falling back to sleep,
‘Cause I know you will be waiting there for me
And every breath keeps me praying for the night
‘Cause I know you’re on the other side
But I’m wide awake.

Blaine let the others continue the chorus, and he turned around to walk back up to the top of the steps. He walked past the podium, forgetting about everyone else in the room, and he pressed his head to the top of the coffin, fingers hopelessly clawing at the wood.

He whispered into it, knowing that no one else could hear him.

“I don’t want to do this, Kurt. I don’t want to be alone anymore.” His voice broke, and tears rolled down his cheeks again. “I can’t be without you. You’re my world, and…and…” He kissed the top of the coffin gently. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” he repeated over, and over, hoping that maybe one of these times he’ll get a response.

Three more weeks past. Three long weeks, of Blaine sleeping in Kurt’s bed and crying himself to sleep every night. Three weeks of summer without Kurt, of unwanted visitors asking him how he is, knowing the obvious answer. Three weeks of fake smiles and “You’ll move on” from people who he had no interest for. Three weeks of what Blaine could no longer handle.

He pulled his car up to the side of the road and got out. He looked down at his car keys, the key ring containing a picture of him and Kurt kissing, and then the other side showing their picture from Kurt’s junior prom. He kissed it gently, and put it back into the car, shutting the door behind him. He looked up to the sun, squinting slightly, before climbing onto the railings. He whispered into the air “I love you, Kurt.” before jumping onto the railway.